>AGP questions and answers
>Thoughts and feelings / emotions
>Help, advice, guidance
>Be cozy and chill out
>What is AGP?
Autogynephilia, from Greek αὐτό- ("self"), γυνή ("woman") and φιλία ("love")
Broadly, arousal to the thought of being a woman. It can take many forms - being aroused at imagining or seeing yourself with a female body, dressing in clothes that make you appear feminine, acting in stereotypical "feminine" ways, or others.
>Isn't AGP just discredited pseudoscience?
No, you might be thinking of Blanchard's Typology, which includes the idea of AGP. Regardless of whether or not you agree with Blanchard's ideas, AGP is very real to the people who experience it.
>I'm AGP, does this mean I'm not trans?
No, you can be AGP and trans.
>Aren't you all just trannies in denial?
Some people with AGP will go on to transition, while others are content with incorporating it into their sex life or simply the occasional indulgence. It varies greatly in intensity. If AGP consumes a lot of your mental energy or causes you lots of distress, it is probably worth asking more questions.
Discord
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Last Thread
>>6457092
Reposting from last thread because it was at the bottom and only one person responded
>So what are ya'll family lives like?
>Anyone actually have decent male role models growing up? Does that affect anything?
>I had a somewhat okay relationship with my dad but my parents got divorced when I was ~8. I still lived closed enough to see him consistently but we were never that close emotionally. He tried to set me up with doing all sorts of masculine things like signing me up for boxing and forcing me to work out with him but I didn't really enjoy it. I think that even at this point I had AGP and MEF fantasies which constituted the majority of my sexual desires, it's pretty much all I fapped to when I discovered porn. When I was 14 I moved away and our relationship quickly deteriorated since. After that I was mostly raised by my mom and it worked out pretty well.
>>6506936
In my experience nobody ever reads paste bins
>>6506950
Not unless they're told to do so. You're right. But if we had a pastebin we could quickly direct them to the relevant quote instead of putting in the 10 minutes required to write up a new explanation for the same old idea.
>>6506959
I don't see the problem? I think having a lot of common questions come out all the time in the first post saves effort
>>6506905
Thinking about it I've also felt a warmth from my mom and not dad. I feel more comfortable talking to her and less on edge. Can't say I relate to the whole parent thing because I don't want children.
>tfw if only you could purge your sexuality, that would settle all arguments
>>6507101
Wouldn't work for me, I don't think.
I hope nobody minds me posting this again as I posted it quite late in the old thread - Has anyone else ever had weird thoughts where they kept thinking of themselves (or thought that others thought of them) as a fictional character, and usually a female one? For example, I might be walking down the street and have thoughts that people see me as Jane Doe from a tv show, or that I have thoughts where I see myself as her.
I know these are just thoughts and aren't real, but they've been with me for years, although they used to be much worse - perhaps they lessened as I became more comfortable with my gender identity? Also, they used to cause me a lot more anxiety than they do now.
>>6506930
how do you get on mones if you are AGP? tell doctor you are a fetishistic faggot or lie that you were born in the wrong gender?
>>6507471
Not what you asked but I question whether anyone was born the "wrong" gender. There is only dysphoria and the desire to be the other gender in order to be happy. If something makes someone happy and does not hurt anyone I think they should go for it.
>>6507486
I will speak with my family doctor tomorrow, I'm scared. I have dysphoria about my maleness but when I see real females I know I'll never be like them, not just looks but mannerism as well, and I have no intention of changing that cuz that would be like playing a role and wouldnt be sincere. If there was a way for me to turn into biological female I would give everything I have. But sometimes I think it's just a fetish. so what should I tell to my doctor, I'm scared to chicken out and tell that I came for bloodwork
>>6507507
Have you spoken with a psychologist? A qualified psychologist could both help you figure out your situation as well as actually prescribe you the pills if they decide you have a valid need for them. Two birds with one stone.
>>6507516
I messaged two gender therapists, turns out they are not qualified to refer me to endocrinologist or prescribe anything (they were just social workers) Where can I find trans friendly psychologists though? (i'm in toronto). I thought at best they would refer me to an endocrinologist. They wouldn't just prescribe and let me go without any hormone or blood check.
>>6507551
I was under the impression that the proper way to get the skittles is to go to a psychologist, get diagnosed, get a prescription based on a referral from the psychologist and use it.
I have no idea how to find a proper psychologist. Maybe someone else in this thread knows. You could also ask in /mtfg/.
>always had pretty bad AGP
>thought it was trans/dysphoria whatever
>learned about AGP
>o shit thats me
>still want to feel female after I fap
>start fapping twice
>the feeling definetly dies down a bit but it still remains
>increasingly more and more becoming a choice of what body do I want to pursue
>femme or workout mode
I realize that I would be happier feeling like a woman but that would somewhat ostracize me from my peers with whom I am already somewhat isolated and distant from. Working out would definitely boost my image from that awkward faggot that I was earlier.
It's really damn hard to have both, what do?
>>6507616
>femme or workout mode
Do both.
>>6507616
What do you value more, how you feel or how people perceive you?
>>6507551
As someone who has gone the therapy route before, I would seriously recommend forgoing that in favor of informed consent. You know yourself better than any gatekeeper therapist can, and as I understand with informed consent all you have to say basically is "I want hormones" and they give them to you. /mtfg/ should have some info on where to find the clinics, but it shouldn't be too hard if you're in Toronto.
>>6507471
Self med?
New here, should I go on HRT if I'm full-on AGP? Like is it worth it or does it kill your sexuality and therefore your desire to be a girl? Keep in mind I pass as a girl without mones as it is but obviously I want to retain/enhance my femininity with age, should I go for it? Are there different kinds of test blockers that don't kill your sexual urges, such as bicalutamide instead of spiro, etc?
>>6507661
That's an unrealistic standard to hold women to, don't you think? Not to mention, the image seems to glorify the sexualisation of women.
>>6509135
Spiro hasn't completely killed my sex drive, it's just made it more manageable and easier to live as a girl without constant annoying erections.
You could try slowly increasing your dosage until you get to the point where it's hard to become aroused and then cut back to find your particular sweet spot. With your testosterone around the upper limit for normal female, you should still be able to enjoy diamond boners if you tickle all your fetishes
How's it called when you get aroused by seeing yourself as a "dickgirl"?
I identify as a woman, am on hormones but I still get aroused by seeing myself as a tranny.
Anyone?
>>6509159
Not at all. That's a cartoon depicting fictional characters with fictional bodies. I believe that women can discern reality from fantasy, don't you? As for what the image represents I think it's great. Encouraging women to be strong and physically fit is nothing but excellent. These are not depictions of unnaturally thin women but athletic women in good physical condition. I believe that women have the ability to be healthy, don't you? Furthermore they're displaying their bodies proudly. Are they sexualized? Yes, but literally every adult human is a sexual object as we are all capable of having sex. I think the idea that attractive women should be ashamed of their appearance is silly, don't you?
It's also just an image bro
>>6509214
Thats still pretty much AGP minus genital dysphoria I guess? Thats a lot like me. Idk.
When you need to categorize every minute variation of a thing, you're treading dangerously close to tumblrism
>>6509339
But since penis is a male organ, how can it be autoGYNEphilia? Don't you need to cut off your dick to be considered AGP, senpai?
>>6509135
>Keep in mind I pass as a girl without mones
reee
>but obviously I want to retain/enhance my femininity with age, should I go for it?
obviously you should then
>tfw transition, live full time, and pass almost 100% but still have almost exclusively AGP oriented sexuality
Am I doomed to not be able to enjoy sex?
>>6509135
This is a really complicated question. What do you mean by "full-AGP"? Do you experience dysphoria? Could you be happy as a man?
Part of what makes this a complex question is that many AGP individuals who transitioned reported eventually outgrowing their AGP fantasies.. but were still happier as women, indicating that there was something else (or in addition) in their drive to transition. On the other hand I imagine that if your sole motivation is sexual then transitioning is probably a very bad call.
>>6511358
Could you expound? Tell us about your sexuality if you don't mind doing so.
>>6511367
TG erotica and AGP fantasies still turn me on more than anything else, to the point where I literally can't orgasm when I'm with a sexual partner (regardless of gender). My sexuality has been this way since I was about ten or so and has persisted throughout many life changes.Whenever I try to shake it and move to something else, I always end up coming back to it because it just turns me on so much more than anything else.
This is all very bizarre to me because I assumed having a female body would help to turn these fantasies into something more normal. Why fantasize about it when you already have it, right? I am a lot happier post transition (and wouldn't go back if given the choice) but I still find boys turning into girls way hotter than any other kink, sexual experience, or fantasy. To be honest, most of the posts people make here in these threads turn me on just from reading them and it is a big motivator for coming back here.
What do you think is going on?
>>6511416
For how long have you been taking hormones? I've heard many transwomen report that after a while their sexuality did shift in the way you described but you might be different. Individuals tend to be different. If you've been on hormones for a very long time and have tried not to masturbate to AGP-style fantasies for a few months and normative sex still does not turn you on then you might have a very strong fetish. I've heard of cases where, for example, a man with a foot fetish couldn't have sex with his wife - whom he loved - without focusing on her feet.
Since you report being happier after transitioning this does not invalidate your case as a "mere fetish". I'm guessing here but you could be both a transsexual and have an overpowering fetish.
>>6511444
>For how long have you been taking hormones?
Spiro for 10 months, Estrogen for 6 months. I'm 18 and started with a pretty fem body so I pass great despite not being on hormones for all that long. Haven't had SRS yet though, and my penis is actually huge turn off for me when I see it during sex to the point where a guy having sex with me in a half-awake state is appealing. While masturbating, I need to do everything I can to imagine I don't have it in order to orgasm. Maybe genital dysphoria feeds into my AGP?
>I've heard of cases where, for example, a man with a foot fetish couldn't have sex with his wife - whom he loved - without focusing on her feet.
Shit really? I have a strong emotional need for a relationship but I just can't seem to get off while having sex unless I'm deeply involved in some AGP fantasy. If you don't mind giving out more advice, what should I do about this? I want to find some way to fulfill my relationship needs and sexual needs together, and if possible move past AGP as a sexuality altogether.
>>6511490
>Spiro for 10 months, Estrogen for 6 months. I'm 18 and started with a pretty fem body so I pass great despite not being on hormones for all that long. Haven't had SRS yet though, and my penis is actually huge turn off for me when I see it during sex to the point where a guy having sex with me in a half-awake state is appealing. While masturbating, I need to do everything I can to imagine I don't have it in order to orgasm. Maybe genital dysphoria feeds into my AGP?
I really don't know how long these things typically take and can't provide you a good answer. It could be that your sexuality is still in flux. It could be that your genitals make you uncomfortable to the point where you can't enjoy sexual encounters because you know they are there for your partner. It could also be that you just have a really strong fetish. Either way since you report experiencing genital dysphoria I want to reassure you that you're doing the right thing. You should be comfortable with your body first and foremost.
>Shit really? I have a strong emotional need for a relationship but I just can't seem to get off while having sex unless I'm deeply involved in some AGP fantasy. If you don't mind giving out more advice, what should I do about this? I want to find some way to fulfill my relationship needs and sexual needs together, and if possible move past AGP as a sexuality altogether.
I imagine this must be really awkward for you. I wish I could give you a definitive answer but I don't have one. Perhaps someone else in this thread can help. You could try giving the hormones a few more months and, as difficult as it may be, to not masturbate or otherwise get off to AGP-style fantasies for a few months and see how you feel during sex. The one piece of advice I can give you with certainty is this: even if you never shake off this fetish if you are happier as a woman and you've experienced dysphoria before then the right choice is to still live as a woman. Do what makes you happy.
>>6511534
Thanks for the advice anon.
>never shake off this fetish
I remember some anon in the last thread saying that she had never experienced actual homo or heterosexuality and had only ever had AGP fantasies. That pretty much describes me exactly, but at the same time I have this emotional drive for intimacy with another that I can't seem to fully realize sexually.
>not masturbate or otherwise get off to AGP-style fantasies for a few months
Out of curiosity, have you ever gone noFap for a period of time? If so what was it like?
>>6509159
Do you comment the same thing under every image of muscular men?
>>6509382
Blanchard called it partial AGP afaik
>>6511490
Can't you roleplay it in bed or something? Then it would be just a case of finding a partner that's fine with it
>>6511594
>Out of curiosity, have you ever gone noFap for a period of time? If so what was it like?
Two weeks. I am weak-willed. This might be necessary in your case though.
>>6511699
That might help actually. I always just feel too embarrassed to tell any of my sexual partners but I think they can maybe already guess it turns me on because the majority of my dirty talk revolves around getting off on my own femininity. How do I find someone who is okay with this kind of fantasy?
>>6511757
The approach you and the other Anon are talking of might be healthier but if you are like me - that is, lily-livered to the extreme - you could try fantasizing about what turns you on while being with your partner.
What are AGP's exactly?
You guys like chasers?
Do you want to keep your dicks?
>>6511916
only female or mtf chasers
>>6511916
>What are AGP's exactly?
AMAB people who get turned on by thought of being women, and sometimes physically transition because of it.
>You guys like chasers?
I would (either gender) as long as it was a good relationship in other ways.
>Do you want to keep your dicks?
Some, but I personally can't stand it.
>>6511594
>I have this emotional drive for intimacy with another that I can't seem to fully realize sexually.
I have this exact feel
been on HRT for half a year but when I have sex with my bf I can't orgasm (or even stay hard) without imagining all sorts of AGP/MEF fantasies in my head.
I'm not gonna stop transitioning or giving up this relationship or anything but as far as I can tell my sexuality is always going to be like this
>>6511960
>AMAB people who get turned on by thought of being women, and sometimes physically transition because of it.
This is an extreme oversimplification. The vast majority of the people I've conversed with who are AGP and have transitioned said that they also suffered from actual gender dysphoria and were unhappy as men.
>>6511983
Maybe we just need to give HRT/transition more time? I definitely have some kinks and interests now that didn't really appeal to me before (actually having sex with a guy for instance) so maybe over time those will grow instead of AGP fantasies. I notice that I rarely seek out new AGP content these days and it seems possible that new interests will fill the void over time.
>>6512014
I know, but I feel the whole idea of gender dysphoria is a bit spooky and I like to frame it in more concrete terms that I feel better describe the motivations one has for transition. To reiterate what I said in perhaps a clearer way, the majority of AGPs I've encountered pretty much ONLY get turned on by the thought of being women (at least pre-transition) and sometimes transition because of it.
>>6511964
supplements may have some minor effects, but they're really not going to let you know what estrogen is like. even real hormones aren't going to magically turn you into a girl
>>6512028
>I know, but I feel the whole idea of gender dysphoria is a bit spooky and I like to frame it in more concrete terms that I feel better describe the motivations one has for transition. To reiterate what I said in perhaps a clearer way, the majority of AGPs I've encountered pretty much ONLY get turned on by the thought of being women (at least pre-transition) and sometimes transition because of it.
This is the exact idea I have a problem with though. It is not actually clear whether AGP causes the development of such an identity or simply sometimes arises alongside it. The motivation of plenty of AGP transitioners is fairly close to that of other transsexuals i.e. feeling that your body is "wrong" and desperately desiring to be the other gender. In these cases AGP is still a thing but it would be wrong to describe it as the motivation.
Like some of the folks in this thread, I have a hard time getting off without AGP or TG related fantasies. What I thought was very serious AGP turned out to mostly be in my head as I was able to rationalize keeping my penis and was happy about my decision afterwards. That being said, I haven't started hormones and I'm not sure I even want to, but I dress like a girl in public occasionally and pass a little more than half of the time. It's also worth noting that I have a trans guy boyfriend who is also into AGP/TG fantasies who plays into them heavily and made accepting my penis and my body as a whole MUCH easier.
tl;dr having supportive partners and/or friends is important, even if it doesn't mostly solve your problems like it did for me.
>>6512102
I'm glad things worked out for you. I think that while what you say is true for some it might not help more extreme cases.
>>6512102
>>6512106
I forgot to add this. Sorry.
>tl;dr having supportive partners and/or friends is important, even if it doesn't mostly solve your problems like it did for me.
The problem is that I don't think I could even enter a relationship as a man. The thought itself is too awkward. Having someone fawn over this disgusting body is disturbing. I might just hate my body but, thinking it through, if I could pick a new body trying to imagine an ideal male body for me to embody just feels wrong. I don't know.
>>6511939
Yeah and they should be told to read the first post because they're lazy pieces of shit
>Reminisce
>Recall that in kindergarten the teacher once made all of us apply lipstick and kiss an envelope to give to our mother during mother's day
>I resisted, saying that lipstick is for girls
>Teacher chewed me up for disobeying her and not loving my mother like everyone else
>Submit
I never had a chance, did I? The funny thing is that I was obsessed with boys becoming girls even before that but when I played out such scenarios I always cast it as a boy being forced to become a girl because clearly no one would want to freely become a girl. Haha. Ha. ha...
>>6512179
That sounds fucking weird yo
>>6512261
I agree. In retrospect this is a very bizarre turn of events.
>>6512267
I guess I mean it just seems completely out of place
Like did you all share some communal lipstick or did they make you all bring it in? Either way fucking weird. And wouldn't some parent get pissed calling degeneracy?
>>6512179
kindergarten teachers are fucking stupid
>>6511359
Ever since I realized girls were pretty I knew I wanted to be one. Can I be happy as a man? Sure. Would I be a million times happier (and less depressed) as a girl? Absolutely. It's basically like tfw no gf feeling for cishet normies.
>>6507454
Sort of, but not to the same extent you describe. I started writing a novel a few years ago with a female protagonist whose characterization was pretty far removed from the type of person I am. Over time though, she's taken on certain personality traits I have, and the plot in many places has shifted to address personal issues I have in real life through her eyes. At the same time, I've noticed I've taken on some habits I've written for her (mostly by lightening up a bit), and I've actually caught myself turning when I hear someone call my protagonist's name in public on a couple of occasions.
In a way, she's become part of me in the same way I've become a part of her. Kinda weirds me out.
>>6513441
I had this happen with a character I played for a long time in an online roleplaying game. She'd often start sentences by "Ummmm"ing while she thought of an answer and I unconsciously started doing the same. Super embarrassing as it is very cutesy and I'm definitely not. I've got it mostly under control now.
What do I do if I have agp thoughts and tranny thoughts.
Does that mean I'm double mentally ill?
>>6513625
You can be both transsexual and AGP. One does not negate the other.
>>6513625
Probably means you're a tranny, idk if having AGP on top of it matters much
>>6513655
transition lol
sorry senpai, you're fucked as far as we can tell
>>6513655
You could try seeing a psychologist and figure this shit out. Repressing isn't healthy but there's a small chance that you are just AGP but not dysphoric and are projecting your AGP unto your sexual identity. On the other hand if you ARE actually transsexual then denying it is going to do you a lot of harm in the long run.
As true now as ever: know thyself. Otherwise you might, like, end up accidentally fucking your mother. That's what I learned in highschool.
>>6513677
I always wanted to be a girl before there was anything sexual about being a girl, which scares me.
>>6513680
Welllll, you should probably still see a psychologist but from here it sounds like you are ~probably transsexual. Kind of jealous that everything's so clear cut for you. I still don't know whether I'm just some hyper pervert with no sexuality except "Pervert" or both a pervert and a woman. It's pretty fucked up. So there. You are actually in luck! Be happy.
>>6513692
I don't want to be like that though.
I know if I continue to ignore it feelings of wanting to kill myself will just get worse than they already are.
So it's like there is no winning move.
I can't be happy if I don't do anything and I don't think I'll be happy if I do do something because I'd be too scared and ashamed and disgusted with myself.
Sorry for blogging.
>>6513756
tranny life gurl, maybe one day you'll learn to live with it
>>6513756
I don't think any trans people wanted this dysphoria fueled life but it is what it is. I tried hard as fuck to shake my feelings but recently realized I can't fight it and broke down. I found a therapist though and it's been really helpful even after just a couple sessions. Start exploring and I guarantee you'll eventually feel better about yourself once you accept your identity, though it is painful at first
Keep in mind that the winning move in life is doing whatever you want, fuck the haters. Don't make your decision based on fear.
So yeah I'd recommend finding a therapist asap and do some soul searching - therapy will help you keep your mind on what it is you need to sort out, even if you don't transition in the end - maybe you'll find a partner okay with roleplay but if you have dysphoria I'm not sure if that would help, but maybe
Now is a MUCH better time for action/exploration than when you're 50
>tfw even looking at women is triggering
how do i get some peace anons?
>>6516075
let me know when you find out
i'm dying here
>>6516075
Care to elaborate?
>>6513756
Why don't you think you can be happy if you do something? What's stopping you?
>>6516225
I mean, shame and fear and disgust. Got it. But anything you can't actually overcome by pushing through?
Why do you have AGP, anons?
>>6516267
I never asked for this. Non-sexual fantasies since I was 4, turned sexual at 12. As a kid I'd play scenarios where a boy was turned into a girl over and over and over again. This was usually done by force because clearly no boy would ever want to freely become a girl.
WARNING WARNING WARNING A HUGE CREEPY MASTURBATION STORY IS APPROACHING FAST NOTHING IS SAFE BEYOND THIS LINE
The very first time I masturbated happened almost by accident. Something drove me to try on my mother's underwear when nobody was home. I did that and my heart started racing. Just lied in bed for a long while and wondered "what the fuck is going on". Eventually I decided, for whatever reason, to pull my genitals back really hard and look at my flat crotch. Did that for a while. Eventually got a boner from all of the pulling. Masturbated. Was shocked beyond belief.
From then on 99.99% of my fantasies included genderbending and some S&M elements. Up until like 20 I kept convincing myself that I was straight because I was turned on by the thought of being *forced* into womanhood ergo I didn't REALLY want that. Then I started getting really sad about not being a woman at random times..
>>6516362
lol dude that story isn't that creepy. it's like standard agp shit
i have a worse story but don't want to write it out
>>6516403
WRITE IT OUT
>>6516403
As the creepy story writer I NEED to hear of others being creepy. Please. I need to feel even slightly more normal haha.
>>6516403
Also if it helps at 15 I was once caught masturbating while wearing my mother's wedding dress, a sock-stuffed bra and panties while listening to Milkshake by Kelis. By my sister. In her room. I raced for another room, locked myself in then undressed at the speed of sound. I might or might not have put my long hair in pigtails. I can't remember if I did in that specific incident.
There. You probably can't top this so now you have to share your story.
>>6516485
Did you she ever bring it up to you afterwards?
>>6516500
Oh hell yes. The reason I locked the door was because she tried to barge in. She caught a brief glimpse of me before I, like a prey animal seeing a predator, ran across the house in search of somewhere to hide. She kept asking me loudly, in a mixture of disgust and amusement, what the hell did I do. I was so embarrassed I went for the ostrich defense and just started denying anything happened outright.
After I left the room, now not wearing any "borrowed" clothes, she cornered me and I eventually "admitted" to having masturbated while holding the dress. She was so disgusted and embarrassed that she did not push further and I think the shock of it all combined with me running INCREDIBLY FAST caused her to repress the truth and accept my story. She told me mother and I got a stern talking to. After that day neither one of them ever brought it up again.
During the initial shouting she said "What, do you want to be a girl now??" and, thinking back on it, I wish I knew myself well enough to say yes. Maybe there would be hope for me if I knew and said yes then and there. I'm 25 and really manly now. Too late for me.
>>6516267
I don't know, wish I did. I've told the story before here, but I was always fascinated by cartoons with transformation elements, and one day when I was in like 2nd grade I found out it felt good to grind on slick surfaces. I figured since the feeling was happening to my dick, it was what it felt like to become a girl, and that became my go to thing for sexual thrills for a long time even before I discovered what masturbation was, much to my parents chagrin. It made me pause when I did a psych battery in 4th grade and saw "Have you ever wished you were the other gender?" I checked "never" even though that wasn't the truth, though I don't know how far fr the truth it was.
Later there were more misadventures, including a crossdressing incident where I got busted by my mom, then promptly dragged into the living room and screamed at by my dad for an hour about how he was going to send me to a "faggot camp" to fix me if I ever did it again. Happened again later in my teens when he found Lynn Conway's site in my browser history (learned to clear those real quick).
Needless to say I don't really tell anyone about this or any trans-ish thoughts I have. The last thing I want is to throw my family back into chaos if they discover it was more than a one time curiosity, especially now that I'm the "model son" in adulthood.
>>6516522
>she told me mother
I swear I'm not Scottish but I keep accidentally typing me instead of my haha
>>6516528
It sucks that your family wasn't and isn't supportive of you. I'm sorry.
>>6516522
Are you sure you couldn't pass even with FFS? I know it's a lot of money but imo most people under 30 can pass with it + HRT + strategic muscle loss.
>>6516535
On the contrary, they're actually pretty supportive of me, mostly because I'm doing everything right by them now. I just don't know how deep that support would run - I'm already stretching it thin with my grandparents for not throwing in for Trump and questioning the validity of some tumblr-tier racist stories.
If anything, I'm not especially supportive of myself. 4th grade was also a time when I remember getting a writing prompt along the lines of "write about a question you would ask your future self" and my initial thought was "how and when did you become a girl?" I basically beat that thought out of my mind on the spot. I don't know if I'm trans, but frankly, if I am, the harshest blowback to that would and possibly is already coming from myself. I know how my family will react, but I don't know what my opinion would be in regards to such a reveal.
>>6516540
Yup. I know every aspiring tranny goes "I will never pass ;~;" but in my case that's actually a pretty accurate guess. Broad jaw, broad shoulders, barrel chest, thundering voice, half-bald.. not much to work with unless there's some sort of a major scientific leap. My ego couldn't possibly take being pointed and jeered at for the rest of my life so transitioning really isn't an option. This is what makes me mad at people who CAN transition but don't for various bullshit reasons. I wish I could, like, trap their soul in a ruby and steal their body via some dark ritual. If you've got a shot at being happy you should FUCKING TAKE IT.
>>6516555
Shouting at you until you repress your true nature and fall in line is not support. That's coercion. I'm sorry for being blunt and insulting your family but that is the truth and you need to hear it.
>>6516362
>>6516528
Well shit. I asked because I myself don't know either. I've thought about it for years and never found the answer.
These answers make me wonder if it's something we're born with, as cliche as that sounds.
>>6516580
I always used to cringe when people would post things like *hugs* but I just want to reach out for you through the screen and make you feel better. Please accept this non-cringe-inducing-hug-free-hug-substitute-for-the-kindness-allergic.
Would you mind sharing your own story?
>>6516485
fine...alright
>go to a uni a bit after year end time, to collect good stuff students throw out
>take a break in an open dorm
>pass by a laundry room
>there's a trashbag of clothes I guess it's going to get thrown out right? and some other clothes strewn nearby
>go into that automatic mode and start grabbing shit and put it in a bag and leave
>start freaking out because i don't know what i'm doing
>find some open room, looks like they're cleaning the dorm
>lock myself in
>fully indulge
>typical post-fap shame and disgust
>sneak out and get back to the laundry room unseen
>start putting stuff back where it was
>get the fuck out of there and sit in some lounge for a while for my heart to stop racing
>see some girl walk by with a bag of laundry
>one of the things i took was hanging off the top
>mfw
>>6516522
wait who caught you? i thought it was youre mom
>>6516616
Your story's great. Kind of disappointed I'm still ahead of you in the shame-o-meter though haha.
>wait who caught you? i thought it was youre mom
My sister. 5 years older so she was 20 at the time. She was an army comgirl back then.
>>6516587
(1/2)
When I was really young (like <7 y/o) I acted super effeminate but got bullied for it, so I decided I needed to act like a typical boy in order to function socially. I remember lying in my bed crying and telling my mom how I was upset that boys had all these expectations on how they were supposed to act, but that I was going to conform to them because I felt I had no other choice.
From then on I acted masculine but like sort of a fake masculine that I was imitating, and I think I came across to people as a sort of feminine boy trying to fit in. Sometime later that year I remember my parents talking about a pesticide that would turn male frogs female, and I couldn't help but think about how much I wanted that to happen to me, but still just thought it was something all guys thought. I think I reached that conclusion because my dad said something like "That would be every guy's dream, to wake up and be a beautiful woman" which in hindsight makes me wonder if he was somewhat AGP or trans himself.
At age 9 or 10 I remember seeing the cover of this one children's book (can't remember what it was, it had something to do with the medieval era) where the boy was transforming into some sort of dragon. I remember this gave me a huge boner and I figured out it felt good to rub my dick against my bed which I did for the majority of that night.
Throughout the next few years I had a fixation on transformation, but with a particular focus on TG MtF transformation. I wrote some cringey Pokemon fanfiction about a boy being turned into Gardevoir and I remember being REALLY interested in Kim Petras who was circulating on some internet forums at the time. Later around 12 or so, those feelings became a lot more sexual and I would masturbate to the idea of others or myself being transformed, usually into some variation of attractive women. I would go on >>>/d/ pretty much daily after that point.
>>6516587
>>6516644
(2/2)
At around 17 I came out to my parents and tried to pass myself off as a legit trans person and greatly downplayed the AGP aspect of my motivation for transitioning. I get on hormones, have a tracheal shave done, and go full time after high school ends. Sometime during that time period my sexuality does a near 180 and now I'm bi with a strong preference for men.
These days I pass near 100% and am amazingly happy with my choice to transition, but at the same time I wonder where the motivation to do so came from in the first place. I guess I'm confused why I'm so happy now when the root cause of my desire to transition is still elusive to me.
>>6516267
For me, I'm fairly sure by now that I'm repressing a lot as a trans person and it's all been funnelled by puberty and testosterone into AGP.
>>6516485
>>6516522
>>6516528
Thank god I never got caught
>>6516644
>>6516657
I'm incredibly glad your story has a happy ending. You know, until this very day I bought into Blanchard's work somewhat uncritically but if you look at all of these stories a common element is the desire to become a girl predating actual sexuality. I think that's incredibly interesting and perhaps suggests that AGP is, after all, a repression mechanism of some sort. An attempt to reconcile our nature and our sexuality. It does not at all fit the narrative that AGP, the fetish, caused the development of a feminine identity.
You ARE legitimate. Please believe in yourself and lead a good life. I'm glad someone out there gets to do so.
one thing though
>on /d/ since 12
whoa haha
>>6516686
>tfw save lot of money as kid
>tfw mother gives a lockable bag to lock it away so that my brother might not steal it
>tfw one day forget to lock it
>tfw mother decides to snoop in, finds female clothes
>tfw beats the shit out of me for being a pervert
>tfw recently she found some again with me as an adult
>tfw she throws them away without saying anything
>tfw some of those things were really hard to come
>tfw angry as fuck at mother
>>6516725
Thanks. Posting in these threads has been kind of like therapy for me lol. Actually, way better than therapy, as the gender therapist I went to basically said I wasn't trans if I didn't want to act like a stereotypical 1950's housewife. Kind of funny how a bunch of anons on a malaysian woodcarving forum can be more helpful than a licensed practitioner.
>on /d/ since 12
>whoa haha
Yeah kind of crazy I know, but I was very socially isolated growing up and basically spent all my time online, so it was inevitable I would find my way there.
>>6516796
You probably helped me more than I helped you. I was still wondering whether I was just some super pervert until I heard the stories of the other Anons in this thread. They really make me think that AGP is just something that sometimes shows up alongside transexuality. Yours is especially helpful since you transitioned and are now happy.
I usually like 4chan's ephemeral nature but it makes me sad that this knowledge will probably get swept away with time and a new generation of AGP trannies will show up and be as confused as I was before talking about this with the lot of you and doing some research.
>>6516843
>a new generation of AGP trannies will show up and be as confused as I was before talking about this with the lot of you and doing some research.
This was pretty much how I was when I first decided to transition. I feel like places like r/asktransgender actually contribute to a lot of confusion surrounding the topic when they tell posters who identify as AGP that they either don't exist or have a sexuality just like cis women :^)
The only reason I decided to go ahead with transition despite my confusion was that I was extremely depressed and had virtually no social connections, so I figured I didn't have anything to lose.
>>6516983
There used to be a decent agp sub there a few years ago, until some dude got a moderator position and went on an anti-agp crusade, deleting everything there
Still kinda pissed about that one
>>6517073
What subs on there do you think are good, or are there none anymore?
>>6516983
I think that they genuinely want to help people but see AGP as a tool used by the oppressors to invalidate them. Which, in a way, it is. But it also exists in a shape different from the one those assholes present it as and I think that a lot of people like us suffer because this is denied so often. I wonder what they'd think of this thread.
>>6517317
https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/4r8uqt/whats_up_with_all_the_agp_posts_lately/
Scroll down to the bottom of the thread and find out.
>>6517335
That person's a jerk and I'm saddened by their response. I wish there was a way to reach out to that sub and explain ourselves to them because I bet far more people use it.
>>6516557
I take it you're assuming my "true nature" is that I'm trans. I've been told that in these threads before, but I'm not fully convinced of it (though subconscious repression might be part of that).
>>6517995
I don't know if you are really trans but I do know that this is something you'd really like to explore. They have intimidated you into not doing so. You were told not to ask a question whose answer is core to your identity. That's what I was referring to when I spoke of your nature. A riddle which must be solved rather than any particular solution to it.
>>6506930
Is it possible to be AGP and a transman? I've been thinking about my experiences and stuff and I'm really into forced feminization (like on myself) but not in like a "I think it's sexy that I'm a woman" but in a "I feel like it's inherently worse to be a woman, and I want someone to degrade me in that way" kind of deal. So I guess it's not really AGP? I feel weird that this is how my mind chose to deal with some of my anxiety surrounding my gender and sex. Like I think some of my dysphoria about my body kind of manifested itself in that way because I'm so ashamed of my female body. Human psychology is fucking weird.
>>6518522
You could be AAP, or autoandrophilic.
>>6518630
But being a guy doesn't turn me on. I used to be into that stuff, but after I started binding and socially transitioning a bit more, those feelings went away entirely. Now I just have really strong fantasies about someone dressing me up as a girl and humiliating me. I have literally no idea who the hell to ask about this, because I know my fantasy is rooted in a really deep lothing of my own natural femininity that a lot of people would probably mistake for super sexism or something like that.
>>6518522
Perfect I was literally looking for you in the previous thread but nobody replied
>Is it possible to be AGP and a transman?
It's possible to be AGP and cis male so why not
>but not in like a "I think it's sexy that I'm a woman" but in a "I feel like it's inherently worse to be a woman, and I want someone to degrade me in that way" kind of deal. So I guess it's not really AGP?
Yeah sounds more like MEF/masochistic emasculation fetish, although the two are related
> I feel weird that this is how my mind chose to deal with some of my anxiety surrounding my gender and sex.
It's not any more weird than someone who was spanked as a kid having a spanking fetish as an adult
>>6518630
He's turned on by being feminized though, there's no androphilia there
>>6518651
I'll have to look into MEF, thanks. It feels really good to finally have a word to put to something I've been really confused about and honestly ashamed of for quite sometime.
Also
>looking for you
I'm actually a different anon! Never posted in this general before. Neat to hear that I'm not the only trans man on this board who feels this way!
>>6517405
Does anyone know a way we could actually do this? I feel like we could really make a difference that way.
>>6518700
>I'm actually a different anon! Never posted in this general before. Neat to hear that I'm not the only trans man on this board who feels this way!
No, I phrased it in a wrong way because I tried to reply when busy and rushed my post badly, basically what I meant was
>I was looking for someone like you
I made a post asking if there are any afab people that get turned on by stuff like this last thread or a few threads ago, I don't remember, shit now I'm wondering if I even made it or just planned to
I'm not FtM, I'd rather describe myself as nonbinary or partial AAP or something, but in a similar situation (generally uncomfortable with being female, but a lot of mef and agp fantasies turn me on, sometimes based on that uncomfortably, but some plain contradictory to the dysphoria or whatever i'm experiencing when not turned on so it's a weird mess), that's why I was curious
I totally forgot what I wanted to ask though, I have a tendency to get overexcited and think too fast to type what I want to, fuck
I'm seriously AGP and I often deeply entertain the idea of me being a woman. Not just in sexual situations, but just every day life. I'm not very comfortable in my body either. I don't like it and I don't think it would be better if it was more "attractive". Am I just very AGP or should I see a psychologist?
>>6518963
From what you said it sounds like you would be a lot happier if you were a female 24/7. In my experience, only you can really figure that out, but I would say it sounds like you would benefit from transition. If you're worried that you aren't legitimate because your feelings are primarily AGP, there are plenty of anons here who have reported being a lot happier after transition. I would however strongly recommend going the informed consent route for hormones (especially because you will probably have to downplay your AGP in order to get hormones from a psychologist).
>>6518955
What is it like being AAP?
>>6519024
Thanks. I'll be sure to do plenty of research on the subject. Honestly though, As much as i wish lt would, I just don't think transitioning would go well at all. I would have to talk to my family about it and I'm terrified of how they're gonna react. Also I'm 6 foot even and have a pretty masculine build. I honestly wish I figured it all out a lot sooner.
>>6519075
Yeah it sucks, but for me it was totally worth it in the end. How old are you?
>>6519099
18 and fresh outta highschool. Lots of options I suppose, but I just don't know.
>>6519108
I really wouldn't worry about not being able to pass at your age, especially with the surgeries available these days. I'm in the same position as you right now, except I started HRT back in September and I'm 5'7". I plan to go completely stealth once I get to uni and just not have sex until I have SRS.
>>6518955
It's cool! Thanks for clarifying. And I know on /d/, there's cis girls in the sissy threads. And they're always like "How can you guys be into this? Isn't it demeaning to who you are?"
When I thought I was a cis girl this always made me chuckle and think "well yeah, but that's the point"
>>6519210
>5'7
>young transitioner
>oh lol don't worry about passing even with masculine build and over 6' because haha look at my feminine stats I'm gonna go stealth :3
Seriously fuck you
>>6518522
I think it could be. Sexualities are really weird. I think you could have just about any fetish while having just about any sexual identity.
>>6519557
Oh god, I'm sorry :(
If you don't believe me about being able to pass at that height though, the one on the right is trans and she's 6'8"
>>6518647
What we fantasize about often does not match how we really feel. I 100% get you. My AGP fantasies are super, super sexist despite the fact I'm a feminist.
>>6518963
If you can find a good psychologist you should go and see one. It sounds like you might be trans but without a lot of work or a lot more details we can't really be sure. A good psychologist can help you understand yourself.
>>6519613
All of you little shits just have to brag and shove your own luck in everybody else's faces all the time
>oh hun plenty of cis girls look like men hon!! Don't worry i look cute though ^_^
>>6519675
Well I'm sorry I'm not enabling you to wallow in your own self pity. Personally I think she looks attractive.
>>6519755
You don't get it. You people never get it. Other people looking cute is irrelevant. You always point to one examples, usually yourselves, and it doesn't fucking matter. You will never understand the pain
>>6518909
Hello
I think they're too far gone >>6517317
they're too propagandized to say AGP=EVIL and they just pile on hating us because it makes them feel more real
I actually tried to get a nother sub going at r/autogynephiles (because of all that fucking "crossdreamer" cringefest) but it never took off
>>6520257
Do you think its even worth a shot? I can't stand the idea of future AGP feeling as alone as I did when I first started looking into it.
>>6520523
Well 2bh I always just want more content so it is for me. I don't really care about anyone else
>>6520523
>tfw 3 years ago you've literally never heard of anyone like yourself and so thought you were a unique shiny legendary pervert
>>6522618
Up until my mid-twenties or so - I'm 30 - I had no idea that other people had some thoughts and fantasies. I even googled for stuff but never really found the AGP stuff until a few years ago.
>Before fapping
Oh I'm aroused by girls/traps I'll go fap then.
>While fapping
OH GOD I'M I GIRL I NEED TO TRANSITION RIGHT NOW WHY HAVEN'T I TRANSITIONED ALL THOSE OTHER TIMES I COULD HAVE GOTTEN AN OPENING FUCK ME HARDER HARDER
>After fapping
Okay back to work
And no feelings of wanting to be a girl until the next fap and never experienced dysphoria. Haven't had sex which isn't helpful but eh
>>6520523
>>6522625
I think a big part of the problem is that when you search for AGP you generally get two lines of thought:
1) The Blanchardian bullshit, ignoring research done since or nuance in general.
2) Complete denial that this is a thing.
I know that as someone who experienced WEIRD THING throughout my life hearing that others also experienced WEIRD THING and that it was a documented medical condition helped me a lot. This meant I only heard the Blanchardian voices and took what they said mostly uncritically. I mean, the other option was to deny I existed. I wish there were other, moderate voices to listen to so I could arrive to the position I did back then rather than after a few years of talking to people on rare occasions.
It would help a lot if the moderate voices admitted that AGP as a dominant sexual fetish often appears in MtFs for some reason but that it appears alongside a transsexual identity rather than causing the development of it given how about in just every story I heard the trans-like thoughts appear to have predated the sexual aspect by years.
>>6522656
Sometimes AGP is just a fetish. Maybe you're lucky.
>>6522664
>Have AGP as a fetish
>Lucky
Well I also get flustered talking about girl things (clothes/makeup/jewlery) but I think that plays into it and at the same time I think that's the only reason I'm interested in it
>>6522656
>me a few years ago
;^)
>>6522673
Frankly, I really wish any further investigation of AGP would result in a clear demarcation between "trans" and "fetish." I don't see a lot of value in everyone just standing around going "yeah I get off on the idea of having a vagina and remember thinking about being a girl as a kid" while the actual trans community comes around and tries to bulldoze us into an HRT regimen from time to time.
Also, jewelry? Really? Maybe it's just the sort of person I am, but my "girl fantasies" pretty much stop at clothes and the idea of feeling "free" instead of being weighed down by stiff male dress standards, with makeup maaaaybe making an appearance as a means to an end rather than a concrete element of femininity. Jewelry just seems pointless and expensive to me beyond simple things, but as I said, that may just be me.
>>6522785
25, terrible
hate myself so much
>>6522778
I think such a clear separation is difficult to achieve because you can be both AGP and trans, just trans or just AGP and it is really easy for AGP to mask your transness. Furthermore it is probably not an accident that AGP appears really commonly among transsexuals, meaning that something in the condition sometimes causes it to arise. Perhaps as a way to express forbidden sexuality in an "acceptable" way.
So you have people who just developed this fetish "at random" and you have transsexuals who developed it to cope.
>>6522796
I'm sorry. Please be well. Maybe things can get better.
>>6522796
>tfw 24
>>6522798
That's why I think finding a hidden formula of sorts to determine AGP or trans (or both) would be the single best thing any discussion could produce. Otherwise it's just a bunch of people trying and failing to cope with their defective sexuality and MTFs whose bells haven't gone off.
Also >implying AGP is more acceptable
I'd literally rather be trans. At least everything is on the table for them and the people who care about them. We're Schrodinger's Gender Identity. I'd put a dead mans switch on my hard drive if I knew how just to guarantee this stuff won't get out and ruin people's perception of me if I were to suddenly kick the bucket.
>>6522801
There is no being well for me.
>>6522836
>That's why I think finding a hidden formula of sorts to determine AGP or trans (or both) would be the single best thing any discussion could produce. Otherwise it's just a bunch of people trying and failing to cope with their defective sexuality and MTFs whose bells haven't gone off.
I think such a formula is a nice dream but that the discussions are very helpful. Hearing others tell similar stories, including some who have transitioned and are now living happily, helped and helps me immensely. Perhaps hearing of others like yourself who have managed to lead a good life could help you too.
>I'd literally rather be trans. At least everything is on the table for them and the people who care about them. We're Schrodinger's Gender Identity. I'd put a dead mans switch on my hard drive if I knew how just to guarantee this stuff won't get out and ruin people's perception of me if I were to suddenly kick the bucket.
I'm sorry. I hope things work out for you.
>>6522855
Why not? Would you mind sharing?
>>6522862
The short version is that I've been AGP for a very long time and it's only gotten worse. Maybe I just got too lonely (along with depression) or maybe I was supposed to be a tranny, which may actually be the case. Even if I tried to transition, I'm far too masculine to ever look decent, and my standards are impossibly high so I would not be satisfied. I'm now a "man" with gyno and several additional sexual and emotional hangups, so getting a gf is also out of the question. My life has been on a downward slide for the past 7 years or so, except for a brief and small bump halfway through
>>6522881
I'm sorry to hear that. Have you talked this over with anyone you can trust in meatspace? A friend or a psychologist? Thinking logically, do you think there is something you could do to improve your situation?
I absolutely get being too manly to transition. That's the case for me. Thankfully I'm not strongly dysphoric. Just.. are you sure that's actually the case for you? A lot of people who think they can't transition actually turn out perfectly fine, as seen in the trans help thread.
>>6522894
>A friend
lol
>psychologist
I started again but I don't have high hopes. I have to go today and really don't want to. I just want to sleep and play vidya. All I'll do is spend half of it crying how much I hate myself.
>neanderthal head
>6'1
>big feet
>too old
if I stood a chance I'd know after 9 months, and I don't. It's basically only something to keep me from panicking every day and push off suicide another couple years or until my parents kick me out
>>6522997
I wish I could do something to help you beside typing this out. Please try to hold on. At least go see your psychologist. Maybe there's still something to be done.
>>6522997
>being this pessimistic in a time when korean plastic surgery exists
>>6523011
they know how to turn ugly korean girls into ayyliums not neanderthals into qts
>>6523011
Full body transplants fucking when? We already have robotic brain-controlled limbs. How long until I get to be a cyber-cutie?
>>6523057
I mean look at this we can't be SUPER far..
http://arstechnica.com/business/2015/04/the-worlds-most-advanced-prosthetic-is-changing-lives/
http://arstechnica.com/science/2016/04/with-synthetic-nervous-system-paralyzed-man-is-first-to-move-again/
I'm not the most knowledgeable person when it comes to things like this, but I have a feeling that everyone under the age of 60 right now has a very good chance of seeing some fucking awesome advancements in the next 20-70 years. Science, medicine and technology are improving every day.
>>6523235
This is the one expected utility monster that makes me suffer every day instead of killing myself
>>6523235
>20-70
honestly I feel like I can't wait more than 10-15.
>>6523235
>I'm not the most knowledgeable person when it comes to things like this
well there you go
>>6523349
thats pleb tier compared to something like full body transplant anon
>>6523378
That's a genuine brain-machine interface, although a very limited one. If we can map the input and output the rest is not as difficult as you think it to be. The big problem is not making the actual robot. It is interfacing with the brain and reconnecting cut nerves/brain portions.
I imagine that transferring sensation would be a huge challenge though and probably not something done in the first gen of the technology.
Name one difference between AGP and being hit by Hokuto Shin Ken. Protip: you can't.
>>6523600
GIVE ME MY LIFE BACK
>>6523619
You're already girled.
>>6516485
I could feel the embarassment coming off that post holy shit!
>>6516522
>>6516528
Future generations won't know this pain. Boys caught AGPing will probaby face something out of some hon's forced feminization fantasy. Get caught crossdressing? Mom turns you into a girl.
>>6516644
Being interested in Kim Petras as a teenager? Wow! It's funny because when I was a teenager there was ony dialup internet and hon crossdressers/transexuals. I'm not mad at the hons because I did not identify as trans at the time so I never really got scared into the repression closet. I thought it'd be awesome to a woman and I wished boys could be femme. I never made the connection at the time that I could possibly be trans. Funny how that works.
>>6516664
Being into porn wasn't even enough for me, it took time + AGP + heavy exposure to the trans narrative to really get through my thick skull.
>>6516983
What they feel is that AGP symptoms are caused by being trans. I give them credit because AGP is not part of the mainstream trans narrative.
>>6523943
>Future generations won't know this pain.
You forget some AGPs don't get caught. I also didn't crossdress at all because I was just that scared of getting caught.
>>6525840
This
I was super vigilant
>>6526330
you mean your parents weren't too intrusive
>>6526341
fair enough I guess. I could have been far more careless though
>>6525840
They'll be much more likely to get caught now. We didn't grow up with shit like Nest Cams available in every Best Buy for $200 and selling like hot asked, and many of us got busted anyway.
>>6523943
>Future generations won't know this pain. Boys caught AGPing will probaby face something out of some hon's forced feminization fantasy
Honestly for some peeps this IS just a fetish so that wouldn't be good.
Why does this thread get more active at around this time at night?
>>6527123
Well uh.. it is 10:50 AM here haha.
>>6527123
I stay up really late
>>6527123
all the degen australians get home
>>6527123
perverts getting on their all night fap marathon
>>6506930
this picture makes me want to die
how the fuck can I live when some people ACTUALLY get to look like her while I'm stuck looking like me
>>6527638
Be strong. There are people who like you.
>>6527643
it's possible that is the case, but it doesn't help
>>6527643
((because i don't like me))
>>6527654
Wish I could do more but I don't actually know you haha. Even if you can't reach the ideal maybe you can reach some satisfactory midpoint?
>>6527659
I'm sorry to hear that. Is there anything you could do to help yourself like you?
>>6527666
reroll
>>6527683
You don't get rerolls Anon. This is a roguelike. If you die that's it. You gotta make this character work.
>>6527687
>>6527696
You cannot give
up just yet. . .
Anon!
Stay determined. . .
>>6527754
why? it only gets worse with time
>>6527770
Perhaps you can make it get better! Is there truly nothing you could do?
>>6527773
not unless there is a machine that turns me into her
>>6527778
You don't have to be the best. Being good is good too. Hence why it's good, see?
>>6527781
but being bad is bad. that's why it's bad, see?
alternatively some soma fed constantly into my veins would be a valid option
>>6527788
You're avoiding the question. Is there really nothing you can do to reach a "good enough" point where you'll be at least content with who you are?
>>6527805
N O T H I N G? Cross your heart now.
>>6527841
i'm too far gone
i will never be satisfied with anything below that caliber and even if i would i could never be even a glib facsimile
>>6527851
I don't know you but it is extremely rare that one is truly without any options. Perhaps you can't reach your perfect ideal but maybe you could reach a level you are satisfied with. Doing something trumps doing nothing. At least you're moving forward.
>>6527890
Like I said, I have completely unrealistic but existent standards. Anyway, I appreciate the (You)s tonight; now it's time to go cry myself to sleep.
>>6527944
Your standards are not set in stone. People can change. Hell, that people can change is what gives hope to our kind in the first place. Embrace that.
Sleep well.
>>6525840
Ya me too, even to this day I'm scared of crossdressing in public because of people I know finding out. I don't know how those genderqueer faggots do it. Probably because their extroverts that didn't grow up in redneckville.
>>6526572
The embarassment! Not to mention the exploits will be on camera available to their parents forever.
>>6527112
True, but alot of AGPs will have it escalate over time. Now perhaps its possible to be a happy life long fetishistic transvestite, but alot of them seem to go full retard AGP eventually. I mean even Bruce Jenner probaby felt strong cognitive dissonance between his masculine side and his feminine side.
>>6527638
That picture triggers my AGP too, for me its more of an "omg I wish" thing rather than a suicidal thing.
I can tell you that AGP will change over time, it may get weaker. You can try being a pot smoker, which is what I do to take the edge off and try to "reroll" my brain. Also if you read r/gendercritical or /ftmg it might make you appreciate being male more.
btw AGP bros, who is the girl pictured?
Does it bother you guys when people think agp is the same thing as having a sissy fetish?
>>6528066
>True, but alot of AGPs will have it escalate over time.
Well, I mean, did you read the stories in this thread? It sounds like a lot of AGPers had trans feels before going AGP. 4-8 year olds at onset.
>>6528116
I think alot of sissies have AGPs and there is a fine line between emasculation and feminization. To the average male being a woman would make them feel like a sissy.
But calling it a sissy fetish is a gross oversimplifcation.
>>6528116
i think they are related, and idk i dont see it happen much so no?
>>6528151
Absolutely, whereas I had no pre puberty onset. The AGP simply escalated on its own. So I have trouble believing that a person can have AGP that stays stable for the rest of their lives.
>>6528116
At least in my case there's some overlap along with other S&M themes. In retrospect I feel like I told super convoluted narratives about boys being forcefully turned into girls even as a child because I couldn't mentally justify a boy wanting to become a girl. This escalated with age. Given the tales told in this thread I now feel like AGP is something that often just shows up in transsexuals alongside transsexuality as a way to express it while repressing given how so many people here reported wanting to be women long before the sexual side became a thing.
See me
>>6516362
and two others
>>6516528
>>6516644
Now I'm largely a feminist but I still get turned on by incredibly sexist S&M fantasies.
>>6528185
Maybe there really are several types, with some actually following the Blanchardian narrative?
>>6528169
>>6528190
Well someone can be AGP and not submissive at all (which is kind of the major theme of many of the sissy fetish sites I've seen). I think sissification falls under AGP, but the category is much larger than that and includes purely biological ideas rather than just femininity and submissiveness.
>>6528331
You're absolutely right. I just pointed out that in my specific case there's a pretty clear overlap. I also have a lot of more realistic fantasies which center on things which have nothing to do with submissiveness or sexist gender stereotypes.
>tfw you express that you feel jealous of women particularly when they are able to fit in doing some activities better
>tfw feel like you get brushed off with some boilerplate answer
am i just too perverted that i always need a scratching or just an attention whore anons?
I wonder if I would still be AGP if I wasn't Asian.
Hearing small dick jokes, emasculation, seeing guys like Ken Jeong on TV, ladyboys, and 4chan really did a number on me as a kid. It's didn't help that I even got confused for a girl in the restroom in 4th grade.
wew lads
>>>/pol/80293599
>>6529566
just be glad you're not agp and waito piggu
>>6530613
Whenever I think I'm becoming more accepting of having such thoughts I am reminded of how the normies would lynch me and it's back to repression I go.
>>6531687
well /pol/ aren't exactly normies. normies will just think you're a freak and avoid you, not try to lynch you
>>6531847
Not much better haha. I'm a pervert for sure but if I transition I wish the view would be "Pervert AND woman" rather than just "Pervert".
>>6531859
good luck then hun!!
>>6531903
Sorry, mister memester, but I know well enough not to fall for your tricks.
>>6531915
yeah I mean..at this point I just gave up you know? if I'm going have no friends or kill myself anyway i might as well make it more fun to jerk off to myself
>>6531937
Be honest. You're anonymous.
>>6531943
i am being honest..
that's basically it. i'm so detached i just don't care that much anymore, so it's basically like there are no consequences
>>6529566
>tfw Asian
>tfw won't pass
>tfw can't go back into the closet
>>6507101
That would be great.
>>6528003
I haven't become less crazy, only worse. This happens with other things too, I don't get over impossible things
>>6532180
kek
>>6529566
Asians make the best natural traps desu and i cant help feel that most young asian guys want dick
Whenever you talk about how feminine asian guys look(and intentionally make themselves look) you always get "oh thats just the beauty standard, masculinity is different in japan/korea/etc."
But I think when you look at the low birthrates and stats showing like 70% of guys aged 18-25 have no interest in sex(with women) and the prevelance trap/crossdressing porn in these societies i cant help feel most of them are secretly gay, probably from environmental reasons
Someone should study it
>>6532414
>i cant help feel that most young asian guys want dick
this seems like something a massive hon would say t b h
>>6532417
im /fit/ and bi actually m8
>>6532122
Are you sure you can't pass? Some people who think they can't turn out fine.
>>6532426
those aren't exactly incompatible with hondom
>>6532122
Go to S.K and get yourself some FFS hon
>>6532438
Eh, I feel like the "you'll only pass if you pass pre-HRT" is true
and I don't pass now
>>6532451
Can't afford it, also Asian women don't usually have a broad chest and shoulders
>this will never be my face when
>>6532473
>Eh, I feel like the "you'll only pass if you pass pre-HRT" is true
and I don't pass now
I mean, did you see Rolexi? She doesn't pass perfectly but she looks really nice in most pictures.
>>6532485
I didn't mean to turn this thread into whiny mtfg blogposts
but I guess I just didn't really comprehend on a gut level how difficult transition/passing would be, until I actually tried to present female (in my own apartment) with like a pound of makeup, clothes, etc and seeing that it would take a lot more time and effort (unlike my Chinese cartoons)
Add that in with anxiety over whether I'm really trans or just agp/MEF and it's back to more uncertainty and doubt
>>6532510
>I didn't mean to turn this thread into whiny mtfg blogposts
We're all here to help each other. Please whine whenever you feel like it.
Personally I'm full of doubt too. I don't know the answer. Wish I did. I just know that if I actually had a chance of passing I'd seriously consider giving transitioning a shot. As is I feel like I'll go through my life without even getting the choice and that makes me feel worse.
Do you see yourself in the tales told by any of the other posters? Would you mind sharing yours?
>>6516644
>>6516528
>>6516362
http://deploy.loveisover.me/lgbt/thread/5788347/#5788347
>>6529566
I'm caucasian, I'm a big stocky neanderthal dude too and I still deveoped AGP. However, during puberty I was not very masculine behaving. I was shy, anxious, withdrawn, depressed and awkward. These traits have improve dramatically over the years, but the AGP is with me for life.
>>6531859
As the years go on, unpassable transwomen might start to be viewed as women rather than perverts. Think of LGBT rights back in 2006, now think ahead to 2026...
>>6528116
For me it does, because a lot of the sissy stuff is just not attractive/arousing to me at all. The forced feminisation stuff is similar - I would rather have a "The Skin I Live In" kind of forced rather than "ooh, we caught him wearing panties, let's force him into a frilly dress and make him kiss our feet" sort of thing. Then again, I see my AGP as part of my being transgender, rather than simply as a fetish.
Anybody remember that one story from Literotica with the kid who got swapped into his mom's body and fucked his dad? The dad's name was graham and the mom was fucking the sister the whole time iirc
>>6511416
>most of the posts people make here in these threads turn me on just from reading them
Ew. That is disturbing.
>>6534316
Lol sorry. It's an anonymous imageboard, just being honest.
hey I didn't feel like AGP or trannie for a while today
good stuff
>>6509382
Doesn't need to apply to everything. If you feel intense gender dysphoria (or AGP feelings) about literally everything but your genitals then you can't honestly say/believe you don't suffer from them, and of course you can feel it about substantially less then that and the same will still apply. Also being a girl with a penis can be a fetish in itself, and can be involved in AGP and AGP-related gender dysphoria.
I think it's often a lot easier to not feel much dysphoria over male genitalia compared to other masculine features despite the fact that they're unambiguously and totally masculine. You can conceptualise yourself as "a girl with a dick", and you can really embody that since you can hide your genitalia and still look female in every other respect (and even if not hidden you still appear to be a girl in every other respect), and perhaps because it feels like a piece of anatomy which is "attached" to the body rather than being fundamental to it in the way that skeletal structure and such might be. Whereas if you have a beard or manly shoulders or similar masculine features you totally don't look female.
Furthermore, the idea of being a girl with a penis is more attainable and realistic than being a cis girl, and you've seen people who've successfully transitioned like that. It's something realistic which is both possible to do in real life and emotionally relatable to. Personally I find that trans people induce some of the worst dysphoria/AGP in me because of that. The idea that they knew they were a girl or they wanted to be and they went and did it, pretty much successfully, despite their circumstances and despite being male in some respects (which is in a way that ultimately doesn't particularly matter nor impede their ability to be "who they are"). Half of my fantasies of being female are of knowing I was trans from a young age and transitioning early (and generally handling everything related to it well), as opposed to fantasies of being cis.
>>6537671
>since you can hide your genitalia and still look female in every other respect
*and therefore appear (and for most intents and purposes, really be) completely female
>wanted to be a girl as a kid (at the age of 7-8 or something)
>mastubated while wearing my mothers clothes with 13-15 (bra + slip)
>occasional crossdressing, always get aroused by it
>super jealous of cis girls
>don't really like my body, but i probably want to keep my penis (if i choose to transition)
>putting on makeup, wearing womans clothes or shaving my legs results in me getting a boner
>i want to be seen as a girl
>"lesbian"
>5'4"
>i really want to transition...
>society is a bitch
>26 now, almost 27
Dunno, I kinda wanna do it (transition) but I'm really afraid of what my parents would think and other people that know me...
Fuck this shit, please kill me...
Am I really trans or something?
>>6537767
Why did you put your height?
>I really want to transition
>am I really trans or something?
