So, I am in my mid-30s, never married, and generally only have dated CIS women. Met a 40 year old transwoman (fully transitioned), great personality, very cute, and I like spending time with her. We been having intimacy as well together.
It's got me questioning a bit, and I feel guilty and torn. Not from a religious standpoint, because honestly, with what life threw my way the last 4 years - god can fuck off. It's more of a family issue. In the last few years, my family had a few tragedies. I lost several family members including siblings. My folks are getting up there in years, and every time I call or visit, the question of settling down and giving them grandkids is brought up. I expected my brother to give them grandkids and the happy christmas family photos, but he passed away.
So, I am on a fence here. Pursue this quietly and 'remain a bachelor' in my family's eyes, or try to sabotage this relationship and find a CIS woman I can tolerate?
>>6480042
>CIS
fuck off with your acronyms
Just b yourself
>>6480063
I did fuck off while watching some ATOGM Porn. Thank you.
Disappear for a few months, adopt, and surprise them.
Kids are expensive as hell anyways.
If you want kids then have kids. If you don't then don't. Anyone who expects you to reproduce for family reasons (when you clearly don't want to) is just being a selfish cunt.
>CIS
Cis. It's just a word, cis. It means 'on this side of' and is the antonym of trans which means 'on the other side of'. Both come from Latin and are used primarily as prefixes in the English language. Cisgender is also a word, not a very popular one, but an etymologically sound one with a clear and concise meaning. Cis could be shorthand for cisgender if you like. CIS is the Confederacy of Independent Systems from Star Wars, unless those faggots at Disney retconned that too.
>>6480166
Oh, right, your problem. I forgot all about it when I got mad at Disney. Just say she's not able to get pregnant but you love her if it comes down to that.
>>6480042
either adopt or look into surrogates bruh
>>6480042
Is she visibly trans? As in you can't just say, "Oh well, we tried to have a baby, but it turned out she's infertile" or "She's not too young, so we're not sure we should have children thanks to the increased autism risk"?
>>6480205
I could try to play that off, but I think her voice betrays her, and her arm/hands also at times betray her. Other than that, it would be hard to really tell. Still, at times, her voice is a little masculine.
>>6480042
I hear from my older brother about once a year, if that. He never talks to our parents. My younger sister is autistic, and she'll probably never have children. I'm a lesbian. I had a falling out with them years ago and only started to mend that relationship about a year ago.
I came to learn that it's shitty I'll never give my parents proper grandchildren, but at the end of the day, they just want you to be happy. And if tbey don't, they're fucking tumors that need to be removed.
>>6480306
I would certainly never think of them as tumors. I understand where they are coming from, since they had to bury their young adult children. I don't think they would give me grief, but I think it would hurt them even more inside.
>>6480042
Holy shit if you like the girl you are with stay with her and just adopt a kid if you want a kid. If you don't want a kid tell your grandparents to stop badgering you about it. It's your life no one else can tell you how to live it
>>6480042
adopt and dont tell them as long as she can pass well enough and doesnt have to spend time around them?
>>6480362
Look into adopting or one of those chicks that carry babies for money, if it's something you'd be into.
>>6480138
The reason that literally any of us are here in the first place is to ensure our family lives on. The only expectation or equality we are all born with is the obligation to reproduce.
>Reproduction, as unrewarding and burdensome it can be, is the only objectively true purpose in life known to man.
>>6483962
>"objectively"
You do realise that life in general was an accident with no meaning or purpose. The only reason reproducing is important is because between the two choices the original cells had:
1. Reproduce and die.
2. Or conserve energy and live excessively long before dieing.
Option 1 prevailed and became a genetic trait. It has absolutely no importance in a meaningless universe.
first of all if she is trans...why don't your parents know? what's the point of hiding stuff within the family?
I am not going as far as saying " the purpose of the life of a man is to make kids", because that's stupid and oppressive. I would definitely say that the purpose of your life is not " pleasing your father and mtoher", although respecting your elders' will has great value.
But do you really plan to live your entire life without reproducing? really? given that is probably not what your father and grandfathers worked their entire life for, is that what you think a man's life should be? is that what you think your life should be? how do you see yourself in 30 years? what value has a love relationship have in your life?
i prompt you to reconsider your life choice and do some life-values thinking of your own.
both adopting and leaving "her" for a fertile woman are on the table. If the relationship is stable ( is it?) it might be favourable to adopt a child rather than spending years creating a new relationship which might be unstable and not suitable for forging a family.
I'ts a sad thought for many that a man would give up passing his genes and decide to grow up another man's son, but IMHO if the adopted kid has a decent genetic i think it's not a big shame. With large quantities of money you could also opt for a surrogate mother and have a Bangladesh woman become pregnant with your semen and the donated egg of some European blooded woman, then raise the child from week 1 in your home. You could even have your trans wife "breastfeed" the baby with an inflatable boob, providing her the closest experience possible to motherhood, and providing the child the healthiest development possible short of the """natural""" way.
>>6483980
>Teen-angst Hihilism: The Post.
Though true, you should care about your bloodline; its the natural thing to do. Unless you hate yourself and your relatives I don't see a reason negating the need to procreate.
>>6480042
>or try to sabotage this relationship and find a CIS woman I can tolerate?
are you sure you're not the one that's trans? because if this is how you break up with people you're missing a pair of balls
>>6484090
Addendum:
In short, I state that the lack of incentive to reproduce is not enough to justify not partaking in it; rather the burden is on you-the outlier and defendant- to prove a reason not to carry on blood. :No reason" is not a reason to die without progeny, or to undertake any course of action for that matter.
>>6484040
>You could even have your trans wife "breastfeed" the baby with an inflatable boob, providing her the closest experience possible to motherhood, and providing the child the healthiest development possible short of the """natural""" way.
There's no need for that. Trans women can lactate from their own breasts given physical and/or hormonal stimulation.
>>6484500
and is that healthier than donkey's milk or some shit like that?
>>6480078
THIS.
Do what makes you happy.
Don't do what your parents want you to do because it makes them happy.
Anyone who has children to fulfil their own desires (i.e. want to be grandparents) is selfish as fuck.
>>6484519
That would depend. If the trans woman still has her testicles, she has to continue taking an anti-androgen (testosterone blocker). In the case of cyproterone acetate, according to http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7193550, 0.2% of the dose is transferred to the baby. If she's had her gonads removed, there's no need to worry about it because she doesn't need to take cyproterone.
On estrogen, it seems to depend on administration method. A method that administers estrogen through the vagina leaves unpredictable levels of estrogen in breast milk based on time of day. But I don't see a trans woman using this method. Trandermal patches on the skin leave no detectable amounts of estrogen in breast milk up to 200mcg. https://www.drugs.com/breastfeeding/estradiol.html Most trans women use pills and injections, however, those weren't measured.
Other than those medications, there's no reason to think it's more or less safe than a cis woman's.
>>6480042
If you're mid 30s you're soon kind of running out of time anyways. Women past 40 can't expect becoming pregnant and I assume that's the upper age limit for many countries with free reproductive assistance. Of course it's slightly different if you have the money for it, but still.
Regarding genetics and whatever, we're all just atoms in a vast universe, who cares.
>>6480166
CIS is Commonwealth of Independent States, you escapist nerd.
>>6484116
You don't need a reason to not have a baby, if you sit on your ass doing nothing, your never gonna have a baby, what you need is a reason to have a baby, reproducing isn't the default you gotta make that shit happen, and if a person doesn't have any reason(and it has to be a reason they care about unlike 'muh bloodline' or 'biological imperative') then why should they?
>>6485288
Perhaps one of the (few) differences between us heteros and the trans perspective is that I cannot fathom having children as anything but a biological imperative or as a consequence of carelessness. It seems as natural as masturbation to me; sure you don't have to do it but you probably will anyway because of that nagging voice in the back of your head.
>>6485347
Then I'm going to level with you.
>"Hey, check out this pleb who gets buttmad when he argues with people who seem more intelligent than them!"
>>6485637
You don't even "seem" more intelligent, you just seem like a smug tryhard dude. You added on some little faux-intellectual "addendum" to your posts for the sake of making yourself sound smarter than what you portrayed in your previous posts, that's like the type of shit an edgy kid in HS would do during an internet argument.
>>6483962
>The reason that literally any of us are here in the first place is to ensure our family lives on
Prove it.
>Obligation to reproduce
Obligation to whom?
>>6484090
>you should care about your bloodline
Why?
>Unless you hate yourself and your relatives
How does this follow from your first assertion?
>I don't see a reason negating the need to procreate
Procreation is not a need to Humans. There have been billions of Humans who have not procreated, a lot of them today by choice.
>>6484116
Look up Antinatalism. However, you yourself haven't given good reasons for having a child.
>>6480042
just tell your parents that you found the perfect woman but that she's never had any periods and isn't able to have kids. frame it as a congenital (hehe) birth defect or something.
I hope you two are happy together.
just knock of some mail order bride and have 2 wives
