I don't know if I should post on here or r9k or here because is kinda typical 'oh I'm so lonely' type post. I'm gay, and my best friend who I love doesn't know. I want to die. He comes over and we drink. I try to get drunk enough to tell him but I always fail. He was lying next to me and I fought the urge to kiss him. I have trouble making friends with guys and he is the only one so I don't want to lose him. Can anyone else relate/want to share?
>>6326208
>I try to get drunk enough to tell him but I always fail. He was lying next to me and I fought the urge to kiss him. I have trouble making friends with guys and he is the only one so I don't want to lose him. Can anyone else relate/want to share?
The fuck, man, you're me, essentially, we share food, and touch each other (today for the first time, finally,) but not so much as kissed (for 3 years.) Except not only am I unable to make male friends, but, in fact, friends in general. And I generally suspect that I'm bi, even though I lost virginity to a boy (a different one, as you may have guessed)
>>6326208
Just kiss him . Im expecting results anon
>>6326254
OP here. I also have haphephobia(fear of touch) from being molested when I was 12. He is one of the few people in my life that isn't family that I can somewhat comfortably touch. I share food with him too. I tend to make friends with women through forced social situations (i.e. school/work) but other than that I also suck at making friends. I lost my virginity when I was drunk, but I was so drunk I couldn't even feel it and it sucked. I'll be your friend.
>>6326256
I just said I don't want to lose him as a friend. I think I might next time we drink together though.
>>6326325
or alternatively, do it on aprils fool day
Thatway, you can laugh it off as a joke
>>6326341
Let me just wait, oh, 10 months.
>>6326341
Good idea though
You're gonna regret it if you don't. Looking back at my life I regret never doing anything about guys I liked.
>>6326364
But when I do it, then he rejects me and lose a great friend. Like I said, I will just do it next time we drink together, which will be some time in the next few weeks.
>>6326374
Meh, you don't have to lose a friend. I made out with my best friend when I was drunk, well, pretty much assaulted him and he wasn't too bothered. He's straight as well.
Well, one time he did make out with me just because he likes the attention.
>>6326490
Oh. Ok. Well now it is 6 a.m. where I am at, I never slept last night. He is still asleep. I think I am going to confess when he wakes up. I'm feeling a little self destructive.
>>6326494
Do it!
GET HIM
GET HIM FOR DONNY
I did this once. I told my best friend / crush that I am bi. It didn't change things that much. Never had sex unless you count that time we gave each other high fives while we DP'd a chic in a hot tub. Still great friends a decade later. He is straight and i couldn't change that.
>>6326498
And now we wait...
I don't think he would take it pleasantly if I woke him up with a kiss. Or me shaking him awake yelling "get up I'm gay!"
>>6326514
You could rub your eyes a lot and pretend like you were crying and wave him up and say its important
fuck why dont i have faggy gay friends to seduce me oh my fucking god its unfair
>>6326522
I don't think you want to be seduced by me. I am like a 4-7/10. Probably like a 5.5. Also I have been crying and I have only had 4 hours of sleep in the past 36 hours. My eyes look pretty bad.
>>6326539
idk anon, if your skinny,fem, and have a gay voice and like to make very forward movements like grabbing my cock unwantedly, i feel like we could be great friends
nope. somewhat chubby, not feminine or masculine really, my voice is normal (maybe just a tad gay), and submissive as hell.
>>6326552
i love you, gl my man
Thanks. He keeps rustling around but not waking up. I really hope I don't pass out.
My knees are weak
My arms [and eyelids] are heavy
I need sleep
But this delirium adds to my courage
>>6326208
Is he gay or bi at all? Honestly I'm not sure why people even bother falling in love with their straight friends. Nigga, it's not going to work out.
>>6326677
You make it sound like I had a choice. Gotta give it a shot, because I don't know and he could be in the closet. Although, he probably would've told me by now. Maybe I could convince him into experimenting.
>howdoyouknowyoudon'tlikeitifyounevertriedit.jpeg
>>6326702
>Although, he probably would've told me by now.
Nah, I had a classmate in highschool that never told me he was, even though I was basically "outed" or whatever, not that anybody had a problem with it. T b h, that's quite progressive for eastern europe.
He never told me to this day... like 12 years later. I was never attracted to him anyway.
Don't do it faggot, you'll lose your only friend.
If he wanted to experiment he would've done something by now, especially if you get drunk together often.
I only have "straight" male friends, and about half of them have come to me to "experiment", wether it was just kissing or flat out blowing me.
>>6326757
Yeah. I wasn't going to go through with that. I am not charismatic enough (or attractive enough) to get anyone to experiment with me.
>>6326801
There's somebody out there anon, don't get all faggy about it. I like all kinds of guys, but there's something about those average, awkward 4,5,6/10's that gets me fucking diamonds.
Here is how this ideally goes (according to me, OP):
>boy toy wakes up
>"I love you"
Nope. Sorry
>"K. Now that I have faced your rejection I can move on now"
>stay friends, even closer
something like that
still asleep
>>6326325
> haphephobia(fear of touch)
If you don't mind me asking, what does that present itself as? Same person as the one you responded to. I don't have a fear of touch, in fact I'd like to have someone I could cuddle with (even though the other dude is a fucking sex addict.) But I do have this strange thing where I just start shaking uncontrollably whenever I touch anyone for a long period of time. Yesterday, however, we were wasted on the train, and played some game on his laptop, and our limbs would intertwine. Hm, now that I think about it, I should have just kissed him yesterday, we've never stayed in physical contact for so long before. Too bad I didn't see your thread earlier.
>>6326757
>Don't do it faggot, you'll lose your only friend.
Not OP, similar situation. It's really fucking terrible, isn't it? I fucking hate casual social interactions, so I won't even be able to find anyone to talk to.
> If he wanted to experiment he would've done something by now
Hm, so I've been on this god-awful starvation diet for the past 10 months, lost over a 100 pounds. I always, always wonder, when I will hit that magical weight where he'll automatically have sex with me.
>>6326208
I was in that situation for a long ass time, like three years. But not for some reason he just doesn't look attractive at all to me anymore. His appearance has changed, and he no longer looks like a qt, so I'm free. Hang in there, OP.
>>6327131
Well in the mean time, I guess I can share my story to you OP.
>met him at uni
>didn't think much of him at first
>4 years older than me and I guess he was just sort of there when I needed him because it was his job
>for some reason he took a liking to me
>when I was applying for a job, he wrote a letter of recommendation without me having to ask
>messes with my hair
>can see him staring at me at the corner of my eyes sometimes
>treats nicer than other people
>I fall in love because my body thinks he's interested
>he gets fired and moves to a different place without any warnings
>I panic and text him
>he said we should stay in touch
>we plan to get lunch one day
>subject of girls comes up and asks me how many girls I've dated
>"I'm gay"
>it gets awkward at first but life resumes as normal
>next time we get lunch, he tells me how much he's been working out and tells me to feel his arms and abs
>solid
>we share lunch this time and has me read what he wrote for me
>it's really sweet
>we hang out more after that and he does more stuff that leads me to believe that he likes me
>ff this summer
>infatuated so hard that I start having dreams about him
>I need to tell him so I can move on because deep down I know he's straight
>I tell him that I liked him through text since I don't feel like driving 2 hours to his place to confess
>no reply for a whole day
>I fucking messed up, he's ignoring me, I've ruined our friendship
cont ...
>>6327552
>tells me to feel his arms and abs
>has me read what he wrote for me
Anon, this man is not straight.
>>6327552
>reach breaking point
>text him again saying to just tell me he doesn't like me back so I can just move on with my life
>"dude I have no idea what you're talking about"
>ffs the first text didn't send
>feel like an idiot and explain to him that I have a crush on him
>he tells me he's hetero but we can still be friends because I'm 'chill as fuck'
>proceeds to laugh at me for thinking he was ignoring me
>tells me what he would never do that and that if I was ever around the area, we should hang out
Basically we're still friends and now I love him even more for it. Not the kind of love where I want him to mercilessly pound me with his dick but the kind of love that's that sentimental and shit.
tldr; I confess to my straight friend and everything turns out just fine
>>6327364
OP here. Basically I have mild discomfort when people touch me. And if someone continues touching me it turns into anxiety and also I get oddly horny. Also scared of crowds. Pretty sure I have an oxytocin deficiency. And no one wants to go out with a guy they can't touch. This one girl tried to, but I think she was just trying to fix me. Not into women anyway and she was no psychologist.
>>6327552
>infatuated so hard that I start having dreams about him
>I need to tell him so I can move on because deep down I know he's straight
I can relate to this. I have had a few dreams about the guy I like and that's the whole reason why I want to tell him
OP here again. Time for the conclusion to the story. I had myself all worked up over nothing. He didn't wake up until noon, at which he panicked and said"I needed to be at my dad's an hour ago!" Got his shit and left in 5 minutes. I should have woken him up. Oh well, it turns out his new apartment it just a five minute drive from my house so we will be hanging out more I think. Sigh. Still disappointed. Sorry that OP was a faggot today. Next time this happens I will use the same pic up there and hopefully succeed.
>>6327833
Where y'at, OP? Got pics to show? If all of this isn't happening because you're a fat fuck, d'awww, I didn't ask for these feels on a Sunday morning. Welp, hello mimosas, my old friend
>>6327833
It's cool OP. You have more chances in the future.
>I don't want to lose him
Maybe you should stop creeping on him then?
I get being in love, but love and sex are almost always partly down to fantasy. I'm sure that you're into him on some level, but what you're really, REALLY into, is the idea of "what if he is into me too?" and "wouldn't it be great to be with him?". That shit needs to stop. And you'll put a stop to it by being present. Be there for him, listen to what he is saying without interpreting it to suit your fancy, and appreciate being his friend. Don't daydream about his cock when you're hanging out with him, but focus on the words he is telling you.
Being friends is great. Our culture takes friendships for granted and puts romantic liaisons on a pedestal. Which sucks because it leads us to devaluate our platonic relationships. But if you look deep down you will probably find that you are happy being with him even if he doesn't fuck you, and even without your harmful fantasies. You became friends for a reason. He likes you for a reason. Its a good, working relationship that is worth preserving as is.
As for coming out to him, I don't think that you are ready for that yet. You want to come out because in your fantasy that will lead to him putting his dick in you. You need to make peace with the fact that will never happen, learn to appreciate the good thing you've got, and learn to be present in the moment with him instead of drifting away to dreams before you come out to him. By the sound of it, it's not as if there's a lot going on in your love life, so it's not as if you're keeping much from him. Just be present and enjoy spending time with him like you would with any other friend.
That said, I'm not saying you should repress all of your fantasies and emotions all the time. By all means when you are alone feel free to jerk off, cry, and if you have a trustworthy friend, share your thoughts and feelings with them. But you owe it to him to be present in reality when you two are together.
>>6327979
Thank you.
I think the main reason I am telling him is because I know he will reject me, and then I can get over him. I don't really fantasize about sex with him, I just want a bf. I have never had one before. I assume people tend to take it slow at first anyway right?
>implying that he is not straight
sounds like a you problem, not a me problem.
Updates OP?
>>6330168
Thanks. I wasn't aware
>>6334649
I texted him today to see if we could hang out. He said he works a lot all week. Thing that sucks is in the summer his work picks up, mine slows down. This thread will probably be gone by the time something else worthy of mentioning happens.
