Asexuals have a wide range of opinions on sex. What is your view on it? Bonus points if you can describe sex.
Old:>>6171354 (Cross-thread)
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>So, what exactly IS asexuality?
There are two commonly used definitions, the first (from dictionary.reference.com):
asexual (a-sek-shoo-el) in medicine
3. lacking interest or desire in sex
And the second (from asexuality.org):
An asexual is someone who does not experience sexual attraction
(to prevent confusion; latter preferred)
>soitsfuckingnothing.jpg
If it helps, asexuality is recognized in the DSM-V: "if a lifelong lack of sexual desire is better explained by one's self-identification as 'asexual', then a diagnosis of... [male/female sexual/arousal disorder]... is not made."
>Okay, so, that didn't actually tell me anything.
So you want to read more about asexuality. Cool.
If you want science:
http://www.asexualexplorations.net/home/extantresearch.html
If you want popular articles/videos/websites:
AVEN - The Asexuality Visibility & Education Network (asexuality.org)
Asexuality 101 (asexualawarenessweek.com/101.html)
Letters to an Asexual (and other relevant videos) (youtube.com/user/swankivy)
>/acegen/ halp! I think I might be asexual!
Do either of the above definitions apply to you? Both? Yes? No? Not sure? Start by asking yourself whether or not you experience sexual attraction as it is described here: imgur.com/pdIxHYc
>[questiongoeshere]
Hey, we're pretty chill, so if you've got a question: ask it.
Just don't hold it against us if we take awhile to get back to you; we're the slowest general on the board.
And here's the map:
https://www.zeemaps.com/map?group=1764048
Another acegen thread was made 8h before this one was made: >>6308086
>>6310321
That one was fucked
>>6310332
>Dude you put the subject in the name spot
fuck, you're right. Should have read it.
>>6310382
The one time I had sex, it was terrible, but I'm so glad I did it. Before I was at least intellectually curious about it, since it seemed to define the way a majority of people lived their lives and experienced the world through their own senses. Maybe your senses somehow change completely while doing it, I supposed, and you enter some kind of altered state of consciousness. But nope, it's exactly what it sounds like. Just doing a physical activity, feeling nothing stronger than mild irritation, waiting for it to be over, looking for the slightest social cues from her that might signal that she's finished and you can stop without hurting her feelings. (It's probably more clear-cut with men, but I don't know. I've heard that some men want to go multiple times, including taking a few minutes in between to recover, during which time you're not allowed to leave the room or read a book. Sounds like it might be even worse.)
The one question remaining is, should I thank her for showing me how pointless sex is, or would that be mean?
>>6311735
That would be very mean. For a sexual person, they would hear "you were so terrible, it turned me off of sex forever"
>>6311735
>Just doing a physical activity
fucking this.
i mean i enjoy it because it's fun doing this together but boy did i spend a lot of time trying to appreciate this for more than it was.
eventually my then-partner asked me if i thought she was sexy and i of course without thinking said
>"no?"
>>6309969
Basically just a physical activity.
If there's a emotional connection with my partner then it's worth my time.
If I don't then if I wanted to get off I would just stay home, save the money, and have a wank.
It can be worth it, but I have to be in a really into the person to even try.
The way I described it to my dad, every sexual person is in a car that is cranked up, all they have to do is see a person they like, hit the gas, and away they go.
I'm on the couch in my house and my keys are hanging up in the kitchen. If I want to drive I have to get up, get my keys, go to my car, open my garage, turn on my car, and then hit the gas.
I have to really, really, want to drive before I even decide to move, metaphorically speaking.
Asexuality isn't real, plz go and take the bisexuals with you on the way out.
>>6312752
>>6312752
Thank you for viewing this thread and taking the time to comment
You will never belong here, you straight shitbirds.
I’m so tired of seeing people act like straight is, like, a personal identity that can be opted out of instead of a position of privilege in the heteropatriarchy.
If you don’t experience same gender attraction, you benefit from our oppression, period. I’m sorry, that’s how it works, that’s how it will always work.
When people say ‘oh ace people can’t be straight because heteroSEXual’, you’re maliciously ignoring that homo/bi/heterosexual are all terms that came into existence as a way to institutionalize people who are same gender attracted.
We didn’t choose these words, they were forced on us, which is why a lot of people reject the word ‘homosexual’ in favor of simply using gay or lesbian.
So smugly rubbing ‘oh but it has the word sexxxxxx in it!’ in our face is hateful. Plain and simple, it’s hateful. Especially since you KNOW that it was designed to refer to what sex–an outdated way to refer to gender–you’re attracted to, not solely to who you want to fuck.
Even worse, you’re spitting in the face of people who are SGA and are–or used to identify as–ace.
If you do not experience same gender attraction and get furious at the idea of people calling you straight, it’s nothing more than privilege denial, and I do not want you anywhere near me.
Straight–straight, straight, straight!–aces and aros have forced so many SGA people out of the aro/ace community, and I 100% encourage young SGA people to avoid the aro/ace community like the plague because honestly, it’s even more homophobic than average communities as a whole.
>>6312718
>The way I described it to my dad, every sexual person is in a car that is cranked up, all they have to do is see a person they like, hit the gas, and away they go.
>I'm on the couch in my house and my keys are hanging up in the kitchen. If I want to drive I have to get up, get my keys, go to my car, open my garage, turn on my car, and then hit the gas.
Can I steal that analogy for my friends?
>>6313730
>straight shitbirds
Can I also steal that? That one is strong.
>>6313835
We have our next thread title good job guys hit the showers
>>6313845
We should just start doing bird species after the next one.
Straight Shitbirds
Shitboobies
ShitTits
ShitSwallows
>>6312303
Every trashy comedian is right: when people ask you how they look, they are not asking for the truth.
>>6313855
I vote for shitravens
>>6313730
>because, people are A-sexual, they must be straight by default.
A-sexual, Homoromantic people exist, ya know.
>>6315955
don't feed the wild animals
I'm personally sex-repulsed, but in the way that I'm totally fine with sex as long as it doesn't involve me. I like to look but not touch/be touched. The term 'autochorrissexual' sound familiar? I haven't had any sexual trauma (or any sex at all beyond semi-accidentally getting my bestie off while cuddling, to my embarrassment), so I can't say my experience of sexuality stems from any specific events.
Anyway, before you say "why are you here then", I'm trans, still have a healthy libido and find porn/masturbating buckets of fun, and I'm into all sexes/genders romantically.
To make things easy I usually just say I'm grey-asexual.
What's a word for
>admire man/woman from afar
>declare they'd get it
>don't know what I'm referring to by "it"
>>6318189
that's the vaguest description I've ever heard and I've been around autistic children.
Bump
Come on, trolls, where are you when we need you?
>watching a movie with sister
>dude shows up on the screen shirtless and holding a glass of orange juice
>sister says "look at that tall glass of deliciousness"
>"yeah, that juice looks pretty good"
>she was talking about the dude
>>6322904
Instead of just mindlessly bumping, try posting questions or commentary
>you don't want a sexual relationship? aren't you afraid of being alone forever?
Anyone else actually fear that? Because, as a goddamn human being, I do get lonely, but I'm so fearful of physical intimacy that I immediately shit myself and nope the fuck out as soon as someone expresses simple romantic interest in me. I feel like the kind of affection I'm comfortably able to dish out is way too inadequate to support a happy and healthy romantic relationship, and my gut response it to shut down.
tl;dr is there a market for internet lovefriends, like long-distance relationships that are mutually fulfilling in themselves?
>>6323096
I'm more of a lurker. I don't have much to add to the conversation, so instead I contribute by at least keeping the thread alive.
>>6323132
Are you me?
Like, the ideal relationship for me would be like being best friends with occasional cuddling and kissing, but nothing more than that. I'm yearning for a middle school relationship at 26. The problem with that of course being that it would satisfy no one but me. I've tried to find the middle of the road, where we'd do the above but I'd also subject myself to once a week getting them off in a manner other than sexual intercourse. It worked poorly; it made me physically sick to do it, and it anything short of The Big Sex didn't satisfy my partner.
I've tried "internet relationships" that just sort of evolved naturally, but even that has turned into "Babe, I gotta see you, and you have to let me try to fuck you straight." Trying to find an asexual just to court them sounds disingenuous. I found a demi person at work, but it turns out they were more just into really specific fetishes than demi.
You might be able to find the relationship that works for you, but I fear that I will most likely be foreveralone.
I went to a party with some friends that had accepted I was asexual and I don't think I've ever been this relaxed at a get together.
I could dance and joke around and be kind to people without having the fear of someone thinking I'm interested in them sexually. There was a point when a friend had chocolate on their lip and I had to resist the urge of grabbing a napkin and wiping their face like a doting mother because I cared for them and felt comfortable around them.
I kinda wish I was able to be like that in public. I know I would be more confident if I didn't have to constantly worry about people getting the wrong idea.
>>6325867
I know exactly how you feel. My friends tell me all the time I'm very flirtatious and they think I'm coming on to people when that's just my happy, having-fun personality. I don't mean anything by it, that's just how I act. It makes me have to suppress how I normally am a bit
>>6326037
Yeah, that whole "second guess and pretend to be someone you're not" act is very draining and stressful.
>>6325367
I feel similar at 23. I'm absolutely not interested in sex, and finding a relationship where that's okay doesn't seem like it's ever going to happen. I'd like the companionship and intimacy that comes with being in a relationship with somebody, but that's pretty much never going to happen.
>>6326037
>>6325867
Digusting fucking NORMIESSSSSSSSS
>OMG IM JUST BEING MYSELF! LIKE WHY CANT I HAVE PERMISSION TO FLIRT AND BE A WHORE WITHOUT BEING CALLED A TEASE?!?
You want the ability to advertise yourself to everyone because you are licentious promiscuous attention-craving FUCKS. So you cover it up with the asexual lie to excuse your attention-sucking behavior.
I hate you all so much. Bisexuals too.
>>6327185
Are you very ugly? You sound like you're very ugly.
(>>6327185)
Every once in a while I pity allos and this is one of those times. Their frame of reference can be so narrow... anything outside of it is so absurd to them that it MUST be a lie! A trick! So they lash out in some sort of poorly-founded fear.
It's kind of sad.
>>6327185
I have really liked the trend of those pictures with the banners wrapping around a thing.
That came from sailor tattoos and pin up girls, right?
greysexual girl here:
I have had sex probably 8 or 9 times and it's usually gone like this:
1)being interested in a person, either because you like their personality or think they are cute (usually some combination of both)
2)kissing. A little awkward having someone's face that close to yours. It can either make me slightly turned on, or gross me out.
3)foreplay. Same deal, though if I'm ovulating it does start turning me on a bit. At this point it's a typical sexual endocrine response to erotic touch.
4)start sex. Attraction that built up during foreplay starts fading.
5)mid-sex. The arousal is pretty much gone at this point and I just want it to be over.
6)climax(for the guy)fucking nasty as all hell and doesn't turn me on at all.
7)Resolution.They want to sleep. I just feel gross/sad/want a shower/wish i had not had sex.
It feels like the price for keeping around a romantic partner though. -sigh- I know I am capable of arousal, and sometimes enjoy my breasts being touched (I have fetishes as well) sex just happens to be one fetish I don't share with people. This is what asexuality means to me:sex is not a turn on. There is no way to make it a turn on. Like an arm, it only bends one way.
>>6328349
I call myself greysexual because I have fantasies about having sex and enjoying it(usually with target location errors involved, like me having a penis, or having a different body type) I have no idea if I could get off to it in reality. I did try using a dildo on a guy once and found it only slightly arousing, but nothing compared to the fantasy.
>>6327248
Ad hominum, of course. But naturally you homos disparage appearance because that is the only thing that matters in your miserable lives. Why else does only your caustic community have 'gay death' for males at 30. Disgusting!
>>6328226
>allos
Shut up you acesexual. You aren't some enlightened divine being. Don't turn up your bulbous nose to me. Condescending prick. See how bad you are, creating a new word to describe normal people, just like 'cis' . I stand by my statement of, your kind simply want to attention whore and flirt, and get angry when people who don't meet your standards respond to your whorish personality.
>>6328259
pic related.
>>6328498
Could "gay death" actually just imply that people don't like such a large age gap? Also, I'm not really well versed in erectile dysfunction but do you think that someone wouldn't want to have sex with a 30 year old person because of the chance that they won't be able to get it up?
I feel like appearance wouldn't really go into since a lot of people look hot even into their fifties.
Also, the term allosexual came up like this:
>people using "sexual" to talk about non-sexual people
>"Um, can you not use 'sexual'? It sounds gross and degrading."
>come up with another word
>"Um, can you not use "allosexual"?
So no one really wins. You get people yelling at you when you use "sexual" or "allosexual". "Normal" could be used but then you get asexual people going "no muh fee fees"
>>6328498
I'm still sorry you feel that way anon <3
Some choose to use the term allosexual over sexual because it sounds more like an orientation than a dominating condition, but I don't need to if it bothers you. I don't see what's wrong with using a specific word to describe a majority population, though. When you insist upon an uncut dick a "normal" dick because most dicks are uncircumcised, circumcised people throw tantrums, so why not use terms like uncut or intact?
Also you do realize that every existing word was created to fill a need, right? That argument makes no sense.
>>6328498
Well of you're going to pick apart that anon's post I might as well join in. It is spelt ad hominem not ad hominum, but that's okay. I understand if big words make you feel smarter. Also they are called asexuals, not acesexual. If you are planning to actually hurt someone with your words then you need to step up your game. Also at the end of your argument you say pic related to an image that states to eat a dick. This is also an ad hominem, so good job appearing like a hypocrite. Not sure if there were other mistakes in your post because I only glanced at it and don't feel like reading the chain of replies, so you may want to proofread it yourself.
With love,
Your friendly neighborhood /b/, /g/, /lgbt/, /pol/ Speech Teacher!
>>6328686
Thanks, m8. If I tried to correct them, they would just think I'm dodging the topic.
>you will never have a 10/10 that wants to be in a sexless relationship with you
Where can I buy six cats that will eat my face when I die?
>>6329234
You'd need to visit africa for some that will eat you
>>6329272
Nah housecats will do it if they're starving apparently
Okay I would suck a dick for some cake right now as long as the dick was also made of cake.
>>6330785
Just bite the dick cake.
>>6329234
iktf bro
i hope they exist... somewhere
Anyone else have inflated standards due to being asexual? Also, would you enjoy kissing?
>>6332806
I'd consider my standards fairly low, actually... And kissing really grosses me out. Smooches and pecks are fine, but as soon as a mouth opens I lose it. It's even hard for me to watch - my face scrunches up when actors kiss in movies like I'm a goddamn seven year old. For some reason I like drawn/fictional kissing though. Totally hot.
>>6332806
I guess would say my standards are inflated? I have an idea of what I want and I don't really want to go into a relationship and waste time and energy on something that's only a 7/10.
Relationships are very stressful in my opinion. I can barely handle friendships due to my mental state and I can't really stand the idea of someone always wanting your attention. With an animal, you don't really have to talk or act a certain way and you can just enjoy each other's presence. With a person, you have to put up this act and I always have the constant anxious feeling and regret things I say or do. I can't deal being in a state like that for such a long time.
>>6332994
Kissing, or making out, makes me so uncomfortable. When I see it, it's like I cringe. As you say, as if I was 7 years old.
I wouldn't want to make out, but I am not sure about just some kiss on the cheek or whatever, still uncomfortable but not as gross.
>>6332806
I really like pecks on the cheek. Pecks on the lips are okay. A kiss that's not a peck I'm not a fan of. But making out makes me fucking gag.
I don't want my face hole mixing with another person's face hole. Plain and simple.
>>6325367
>Trying to find an asexual just to court them sounds disingenuous
This is literally what straight and gay people do every single time they date. The first part of courtship is checking for basic compatability, including orientation. It's not creepy; everyone does it.
>>6325867
>>6326037
What's so bad about giving someone the wrong idea? If you're afraid they're going to sexually assault you or something, they're really not worthy of your trust and you shouldn't be hanging around with them. If they're you're friends and you're confident they would never hurt you, then a quick correction is all they'll need if they get too close to the line.
>>6335372
Because feelings get hurt.
>>6335838
Has this happened to any of you, or is it just a persistent irrational fear? Sounds like you're putting yourselves through much more misery than you'd be putting someone else through just by saying "no thanks"
>>6335866
I've had at least 4 friendships compromised because I couldn't properly return they feelings they had, one of which was romantic and they broke it off because I seemed so distant for not wanting to be physical. It was heartbreaking and I still get gloomy about it half a decade later. That was the incident that made me realize I could actually call myself asexual.
>>6335868
Being a prude or tease is way better than being a loser who can't get laid. When someone hits on you and you shut them down, that's a display of dominance. It shows that your needs are the ones that matter.
>>6335372
Are you the same anon that brought up sexual assault when someone else didn't want someone to get the wrong idea?
It's not just about sexual assault. It's about being able to be yourself without people assuming things.
And because of people assuming things, it could lead to drama that can't just be stopped with blunt denial of sexual/romantic intention.
It's not just friends that do this. People that you give the smallest amount of nice gesture do this. Coworkers do this. Some people can't understand "I don't like you and never will". And some of those people will cause you drama.
It's annoying. It's tedious. And it's not as simple as you say.
*raises hand*
/acegen/, what does SGA mean in this context?
>>6336009
Actually no, you will get more flack for being a tease or prude because that will mean that they can change you and/or you're sexually interested.
Also, you get very terrible rumors about being someone like that even if you cut your ties.
>>6336019
Idk ask the obsessive shitposter
>>6336019
I'm not 100% sure what kind of answer you're looking for, but I'll take a stab at giving a helpful reply.
Many aces separate the notions of sexual attraction and romantic attraction, so if you picture girls who like girls and boys who like boys but don't want sex, just love, that's something we aces could still consider same-gender attraction.
I hope that makes sense!
Hey /acegen/
I'm here because I've always had a bizzare, awkward, ambivilant relationship with sex and am looking into this aspect (or really, the lack of) of it to investigate.
Right here right now, I have no desire to have sex with any human being. There has been a single unambiguous exception but that was years ago. Outside that however, I've only been able to appreciate the opposite gender from an aesthetic perspective in real life. When not actually there, porn is fine, but when I'm actually there, even if there's no pressure, I feel no urge to have sex.
I like the look of women, but outside of cuddling/some aspects of skinship I don't really want to do anything with them.
It used to confuse me when I was young that I didn't feel strongly different about men outside of romantic emotions and the physical reaction of arousal. Even when physically aroused, I want to release, but not especially through sex acts, though I'm not sex averse as much as sex indifferent. Or as indifferent as you can be about sharing body fluids.
Does any of this seem familiar?
>>6336504
Absolutely. Not all aces are sex-repulsed/averse. Feeling no physical desire to engage in sex yourself is typically the signifier to go by. Like you described, some can appreciate the look of someone and become aroused, but the idea of doin' it with them doesn't sound much more enticing than doing a load of laundry.
>>6336579
Thanks for your confirmation. I've been talking this over with a few people and I get the 'I'm not that into sex either' or whatever and I feel like I can't say anything to that without making a big deal about it, which kinda makes it hard to really know how you feel.
Not least because sex seemes to be a whole bag of mess for everyone who isn't a typical cishet etc etc. And even then it can be a mess.
>>6336504
https://thethinkingasexual.wordpress.com/2013/01/19/am-i-asexual-if/
>>6335372
I don't want to give someone the wrong idea because I think it's rude and it could hurt someone's feelings. What if I'm accidentally flirting with someone and they ask me out. Everything goes over my head so I'd totally accept thinking were going to hang out and be friends but little do I know they think it's a date. That had happened to me before and it hurt her feelings and made me feel like shit. Funfact about me, I don't enjoy feeling like shit so that's why I'm super conscience about how I'm perceived.
I don't really see the use of any sort of asexual "movement" or identity. I say this from an interesting viewpoint - a eunuch with a rock-bottom sex drive that is essentially non-existent.
I find it hard to believe that many people could be truly asexual while having any sort of sex hormones in them.
>>6337423
Did you lose your beans and rice in the war?
>>6337423
Also, the only use the identity has is that the person can feel comfortable saying that they belong in a group. If you like the same gender or both genders but you don't have the urge to have sex, you can feel out of place like you don't belong.
It's just nice to be around people who share your viewpoints and experiences.
Also, what do you mean by truly asexual? Can you define what you believe is a true asexual?
>>6337431
No, I got a really bad infection in my balls and after the antibiotics cleared it away they began to atrophy from being too damaged. Now they've shrunken a bunch and retracted basically back inside of me. Permanently sterile and also severely lacking in the testosterone department.
>>6337460
>Can you define what you believe is a true asexual?
Zero desire for sex whatsoever, zero attraction to either sex or anything inbetween. Zero sexual attraction to anything.
>>6337497
Sorry to get technical but what I think you're talking about someone is asexual and aromantic?
Asexual being "lacking sexual attraction" and aromantic being "lacking romantic attraction"
>>6337509
Not just those though, but also lacking any desire for the physical act of having orgasms/sex.
>>6337516
I'm sorry but that's not actually a correct definition of an asexual. Some people do have that belief and believe me, if you think atheists are snobby pricks wait until you get those "I'm a true asexual and everyone else are plebian barbarians" non-masturbating sex-repulsed aromantic asexuals
sorry for the tumblr speak but it's easier to type than having to say: "someone lacking both sexual and romantic attraction who is disgusted by sex and does not masturbate". It doesn't really fit into a sentence as easily as the jargon I just said.
>>6337649
Thank you for typing that up anon, I couldn't come up with a sensible way to lay it out like that.
Else, if I'm not a REAL asexual, how should I go about my love life as a sex-repulsed person who wants a romantic partner? Try to date, they want to be sexual and I say "oh sorry I can't- being touched sexually would make me throw up. I only told you I wasn't asexual because I like giving myself orgasms, so I'm not a REAL asexual"?
That would indeed be pretty awkward.
>>6337785
It's either that or saying you're gray-ace and then you have to deal with people saying you're not ace at all and are simply gay/bi/straight
I feel like if you're not homosexual, you're probably going to have someone yelling at you and saying you're not who you identify as.
But even the homosexuals get yelled at by the cis heterosexuals so literally no one wins.
>>6323132
I do and am trying to get used to it. Being a poverty stricken sick crippled sad autistic ace guarantees forever alone status. The sooner I can accept that the better especially as i am also have to try to accept the fact my life is ruined and over already.
Both however are a bitch to swallow and I been struggling with it for about a year now. Before I got sick I could at least comfort myself that while i may be lonely I could find other purpose in life to help me forget that part. Been considering suicide especially as the tests don't seem to be helping and the docs I have no idea. I don't think I can handle being forever alone and crippled at the same time while being forced to maintain my bullshit without having some kind of purpose anymore. I just can't handle it I could take anything life threw at me when I had purpose o fulfill but now I can't even if i wanted to due to my health. So its now void.
So for the first time in my life I find myself without purpose.
Figured I'll do my best to scrape up the funds for suicide originally my exit plan I was to take out some life assurance and hire a hitman to do it but there is no way that's possible anymore.
I really don't know but I have noticed that long distance or internet relationships very rarely go well.
>>6325367
I think my ideal relationship would be a little one-sided. My partner can want sex as long as they understand they're never getting it. You know, someone who actually does put my wants and needs first instead of just saying they will because that's the polite thing for people in love to say. Someone who pretty much does whatever I say. And they don't have to look good, of course, because good looks are wasted on me and would just draw unwanted attention from others. In fact it'd probably be easier if they were ugly as sin by everyone else's standards.
I guess what I'm saying that I don't want a partner; I want an Igor.
>>6337383
When someone asks you out, that doesn't entitle them to a date with you. And furthermore, good and worthwhile people can accept rejection gracefully and not become a wreck from it, so you won't hurt the feelings of anyone who counts. If the truth of who you are hurts someone, they deserve to be hurt.
>>6337349
Thanks anon, so much of the Ace literature is well intentioned, but poorly written. This was really clear and well explained and my first feeling is that it's helping put things into perspective.
>>6328642
>fee fees
Tumblard detected, opinion discarded.
>>6328647
I don't understand how having sexual desires is an orientation though? Also uncut cock is normal. The fact that it was altered is a deviation, or non-standard. Ergo; "Normal & Cut". My main point was that you special snowflake groups always try to come up with words that are derogatory to the general population and it's disgusting, transparent, and just childish.
>>6328686
>/g/
See pic related.
>>6338877
Seems like you are looking for an emotional tampon, without having to do any of the physical maintenance. Tsk tsk. Typical "ace" behavior.
>>6342377
>Tumblard detected, opinion discarded.
How can you not tell they were being facetious, holy shit? Way to prove that you have no substance behind the garbage you're trying to argue.
>I don't understand how having sexual desires is an orientation though?
Pic related. It's how people can succinctly communicate what their general group pf sexual/romantic interest is. For us, that happens to be neither males nor females nor anything peripheral to those, at least from a sexual standpoint. How would you recommend we communicate that to someone we might be romantically interested in?
>you special snowflake groups always try to come up with words that are derogatory to the general population
Please tell me what derogatory words you're referring to. To me it sounds like you're just trying to be offended for no good reason.
Are lesbians special snowflakes for going by a term that succinctly describes who they're attracted to? Is the term lesbian offensive to the poor straights because they're not "normal" and "non-deviant"? How large does a group of deviants have to be before they're allowed to identify with terms that describe them?
Also I wasn't aware that calling a guy uncut was a derogatory term? How do they refer to themselves in a way that won't make cut guys cry and say "shut up, we're normal too!"?
>>6342526
> Way to prove
I don't have to prove shit to you, or anyone else. I am trying to make it clear that 'asexuals' , trannies, bisexuals, women, and liberals all make for poor partners and suffer from a complete lack of introspection, or even the ability to do so!
Acefags are the second most heinous of all though. You want permission to be intimate with others without the intimacy, you want to be able to lead people on, and then get offended when they interpret your signals correctly. In essence, you want the world to twist and contort to your fucked up world views (like trannies) to give you permission to be emotionally promiscuous. It's disgusting, and it's wrong.
>Pic related.
No. Everything you typed after that is complete void. You are arguing semantics for something that doesn't exist. You don't experience attraction, but you want a relationship? Ha!
>Please tell me what derogatory words you're referring to.
Allosexual and Cis.
>Are lesbians special snowflakes
Yes.
>How do they refer to themselves in a way that won't make cut guys cry
It honestly doesn't matter. Normal is normal, no matter what sensibilities get offended.
>>6342602
Ohh okay, you just hate everyone, LOL. There's no more point in arguing at least, all you're saying now is that nobody matters but yourself and your tiny narrow box you think everyone should fit into. Sorry you have to share the world with us!
>>6342661
>almost 90+% of the population
>somehow a tiny narrow box
k.
Omg, why would you hate on aces so much? Its such a small subset humanity to be so concerned with. And it's not like you have to worry about us breeding out of control and filling your beautiful heteronormitive paradise with nonsexual vampires, just here to feast on the delicious emotional turmoil of ~normal~ people.
>>6343423
It's trolling m8, the only winning move with a troll is not to play
>>6343423
I have a boyfriend, if you can even call it that, who is asexual. I can't figure him out at all. He says he'll tolerate sex, but it will be for me only, as he 'doesn't work that way'. I just want to make him happy, but I worry about our long term viability.
So you see. I do have a personal stake in this issue. I would also like to point out, while you think you are being facetious at the end of your post, your kind are generally exactly like that. The women especially.
>>6344607
>my boyfriend doesn't like sex with me and I'm taking it out on everyone else who doesn't like sex instead of accepting that I'm the problem for wanting sex with someone who doesn't want it
>>6344607
Why do you think the women are mostly like that?
>>6344607
Then fucking leave him and find somebody who wants to have sex, holy shit.
You're like a straight guy knowingly dating a lesbian and then bitching about her not putting out.
>>6344607
Sounds like your/your bf's problem broski, not te asexual presence as a whole. He's a dick if he wants to keep you in an unfulfilling relationship instead if finding someone more suited to him, and you're an idiot for expecting this to work and then thinking all aces are out to ruin your life instead of packing up and finding someone more suited to you.
>>6344683
>accepting that I'm the problem
Hey fantastic! I'm a 'problem' for being a human being with regular normal biological urges! In all of your smartassery you guys really show the grains of truth to the warped way you view the world. People who love you are problems. Giant problems you stamp your feet at and yell at until they twist and twist to fit the funhouse mirror that is your reality. No anon, there is a problem, and it isn't me. It's with this rampant special snowflake mentality that has gripped our culture.
>>6344801
Objectively, I can't really say. And that is actually a good question, I wish I was in a better mood to discuss it with you. Off the top of my head though, they seem to live in an very long pampered state of juvenilism. Living like that generally keeps them from developing introspective insights, or modifying unacceptable behavior. As long as we treat women with kid-gloves, I believe the problem will remain. Unfortunately, that is easier said than done. I feel like men are hard-wired to care for women, even if they don't want to. And this extends beyond even the age of fertility.
>>6344825
>Then fucking leave him
Heartless. Promiscuous. And to borrow a phrase from a previous anon: Emotional vampire.
See how quick you are to press the button? A common trait of acefags and bisexuals. We aren't relationships to you , just things you can use, and move on to the next. Parasitical.
>You're like a straight guy knowingly dating a lesbian and then bitching about her not putting out.
Why would the lesbian even accept the offer to begin with? Do you see the error in your example? He fell in love with me, not the other way around, and now I'm trapped and can't leave.
>>6344877
Nice dubs.
No mean pic for you, since you are speaking uncomfortable truths. Fuck you Anon. But I will say, it most certainly is the problem of the asexual community. Your kind have an obligation to stay away from normal people. Once love is turned on, it can't just be turned off like some kind of sick faucet.
>>6344904
>...they seem to live in an very long pampered state of juvenilism. Living like that generally keeps them from developing introspective insights, or modifying unacceptable behavior. As long as we treat women with kid-gloves, I believe the problem will remain. Unfortunately, that is easier said than done. I feel like men are hard-wired to care for women, even if they don't want to. And this extends beyond even the age of fertility.
If your belief was true, wouldn't that mean that the times before the world wars where women had to get jobs there would to be a higher amount of asexuality occurring within women? The only thing that seemed to happen was the dumb hysteria theory.
Also, I find it a bit strange that you have placed all people of a group within a category due to a single person being selfish and wanting to be in an unfulfilled relationship.
What I don't understand is that you say you hate the relationship but you continue to talk about love but you place the blame on your partner by saying that he fell in love first. Do you actually love him or are you just there to make him happy? Are you willing to sacrifice your needs for him? If no, why are you still there? What is keeping you there? It's obvious that you are unhappy and worried so have you brought this up with him?
And your partner obviously seems happy but you are still worried about your long term viability. Why is that? Are you expecting a better emotional bond during sex?
I seriously think you should sit down with him and talk about these issues if you want this to work. But if you don't want it to work and you just want an easy out, I'm going to have to suggest to break up with him and tell him why you are breaking up with him in order to make it a clean cut.
>>6344917
It's true, it's unfair of aces to expect sexual people to bow to their wills, but I honestly don't see that happening as much as you imply. Haven't you noticed that most posts in these threads describe loneliness and fretting about not being able to find a mutually satisfying relationship? I think this is the reason aces do try to stake a claim on a small portion of the lgbt umbrella. Because we /do/ have an obligation to stick to our own kind. The ones who blow that off and try to further relationships knowing their partner will have to suffer for it are just assholes. Not sure how many other aces you've attempted dating, but it sounds like you just got bad luck. You act like having a relationship strained over sexual reasons is an ace/sexual only problem.
>>6344969
Yeah, I guess it's like having someone with fetishes trying to push their kinks onto their partner.
Or someone that constantly pushes their need for anal.
Or even a person that wants their gentle partner to be rougher in bed.
Or maybe even a person that wants cuddling after sex only to see that their partner is knocked out and asleep.
>>6336308
Same Gender Attraction, okaayyy, not used to that acronym.
>>6345024
I feel you, it's still pretty new to me too. Back in my day we just called it ye olde "gay".
>>6344904
So we're special snowflakes for not wanting sex and saying as much, but you're not a special snowflake for thinking you deserve sex from someone who doesn't want to give it to you. Can you really not see how entitled you are? Your "normal biological urges" are your own problem and no one else's. Find someone else with compatible urges or kill yourself. If you stay in the relationship you're in now, it's 100% your own fault.
>>6344969
>>6345023
And there's a key difference between our wills and everyone else's: when our wills conflict with other people's wills, ours are the ones with a moral imperative to win out. If one person wants sex and the other person doesn't, the one who doesn't want sex must win, unconditionally. It's a fundamentally different kind of disagreement from, say, wanting to go to two different restaurants or wanting to do two different sexual positions. The one who wanted sex loses and isn't owed anything in exchange for not getting sex. They must either accept whatever their less-interested partner is willing to offer them or find the self-respect to walk out of the relationship. Getting sex is not a human right, but the option not to consent to sex is.
>>6345427
>They must either accept whatever their less-interested partner is willing to offer them or find the self-respect to walk out of the relationship.
Or the less-interested partner must have the ability to look beyond the inside of their ass and see that their partner is unsatisfied and break up for their sake.
That's the thing here. The problem is simply a lack of compatibility. A lot of this is give and take because that's the only way this would work.
>>6345427
Ah, I wasn't very clear about what I meant by will in >>6344969 but basically, it would be unfair of an asexual person to force a sexual person into a relationship knowing they can't provide something their partner needs, just as it would be unfair of a sexual person to expect sex from a knowingly asexual person. Essentially, as painful as it might be for both parties, anon and his ace bf simply don't seem super compatible.
>>6345481
That's not the less interested one's responsibility, though. Just like how it's not your responsibility to remove any stalkers you might have from the "friend zone." They put themselves there, and only they can set themselves free.
>>6345506
>They put themselves there, and only they can set themselves free.
You arrogant cunt. So making grand displays of confessed love, petitioning for a relationship, and then a ways in admitting to asexuality places the onus of break-up on the normal guy?
You visit tumblr don't you? A bernie sanders fan, maybe?
>>6345522
Yes, it absolutely does, considering he's the one who's not satisfied with the arrangement. If you ever finding yourself wanting sex with someone who doesn't want it, you need to not have sex with that person, and if you can't stand that thought, you need to break up and move on. I can't believe you're so dumb that I have to explain this to you.
>>6345506
I'm not talking about responsibility. I'm simply talking about possible solutions to the problem.
Also, you cannot use that example of a stalker because that relationship is one sided. A stalker will not stop being a stalker if their person of interest breaks the bond between them.
This is more on a friendship or a business deal. Either side can stop the bond between both groups.
>>6345522
oh look, I found the grumpy anon. Can you answer the replies to your post, please?
>>6345488
You can't force someone to stay in a relationship, short of keeping them chained up in your basement. People who claim that they're stuck in a relationship or that they're not allowed to break up are just weak-willed. Pic related.
On the other hand, you can rather easily force someone to have sex. That's the crime that actually happens, so that's the danger that's worth paying attention to.
>>6345569
>You can't force someone to stay in a relationship, short of keeping them chained up in your basement.
Actually, you can force someone to stay in a relationship with verbal/physical/emotional abuse from the partner or outside forces. Also, there could be outside forces, such as the gubment law or the family, that will forcibly stop a person from leaving
>>6345569
>take initiative to start a relationship with someone
>expect them to be the one to break up
>somehow the other person is weak-willed
You are a tranny or a woman. You have to be.
>>6345550
Soon. There is alot of information to take in, and some things kind of sting like >>6345488
>anon and his ace bf simply don't seem super compatible.
>>6345618
>screams at a small handful of a few asexual people that are lonely
>calls them emotional vampires and manipulative sociopaths
>when asked why they're so mad, it's because they're upset with their ace boyfriend
>shows obvious signs of lack of communication with their boyfriend when a relationship like this can only work with communication
>is surprised when people say they aren't super compatible
nigga, you dumb
>>6345617
Tumblr as have successfully made people forget what force and violence really are. Calling someone names is not forcing them to stay with you. Being inconsiderate of someone's feelings is not violence. If you want to leave and you are physically able to leave, you have no excuse.
>>6346643
Amen, honey, amen.
The emotional abuse stuff isn't so much force as it is pressure. Now it's nasty pressure, but the only thing stopping you from filing a restraining order, hiding out with an understanding family member or friend or seeking out an abuse in your area is how much you want to fight your way out of that shit situation.
>>6346756
an abuse shelter*
whoops, what a typo
>>6346756
But the problem is that those pressures is that they can take away your will. There's a reason why there's such a thing as "battered wife" syndrome and, this may be a bit obtuse, why slaves stay with their captors.
I feel like you all are talking as though this is a simple situation.
An abuser can take away ones independence and make their partner rely on them. If their partner does try to leave, the abuser will harm them emotionally and physically and possibly make it harder to leave (removal of phone, computer, etc).
Of course at the end it does depend on the mental will of the person being abused but even the strongest can be broken with enough time.
Battered wife syndrome actually has been seen in other animals such as dogs and I can give you sources if needed.
It's the moment that the brain begins to think there is no way from escaping the pain and the animal willstay in the position until it is forced out of it.
That's why so many people will stay in bad relationships until a relative or friendhelps tthem leave.
>>6346883
I would also like to add that people in this situation are already not completely healthy both mentally and emotionally which is usually the reason why an abuser would want a relationship with them
>>6345655
I like you. Your okay
>>6347068
>your
Idiots stick together, I guess.
>>6347090
Please explain how they are both idiots.
>>6347339
That's probably the grumpy heartbroken anon, he hates anyone who has something poignant or thought-provoking to say. I'd just let him be.
>>6347639
I know it's probably them but the only way I can get them to stop being a fuck that uses basic insults to explain his feelings is by forcing it out of him.
It's like asking an autistic child to voice their feelings
>kid screeches and flails their arms
>I don't know what that means. You need to use your words
>"I'm mad"
>why are you mad
>kid points at a thing
>is it because of the thing?
>"Yes"
>why is it because of the thing?
It's like going step by step through a basic human thought process. This is something sesame street teaches kids.
>>6347905
holy shit it's true
>>6346883
So you're saying that I can emotionally break down my boyfriend until he no longer dares to ask me for sex but will still stay with me voluntarily and even resist others' attempts to help him leave me? And I can even do it without technically breaking any laws or using physical force of any kind? Cool, maybe I'll try that. It's likely that nobody will even try to help him, since he's a guy.
Alright all you kids and kidders, I'm heading off on a 15 hour road trip, so please try not to burn the place down while I'm away. It's important to me.
>>6349834
NO PROMISES
>try to hint around my asexuality
>my efforts have just my family think I'm a closeted gay
JUST
>>6349719
Heartbroken anon stop procrastinating and talk to your man
http://www.grpride.org/master-blog/2016/5/5/how-to-be-a-proper-asexual-an-introduction
>>6354613
>don't bargain for companionship
>it doesn't even mean that relationships between aces and allosexuals are doomed
These are both right, but somehow the writer has failed to connect the dots and see what follows from these two premises. You can date someone who wants sex, and it will work out as long as you make sure that you are the one with the power and your partner is the one who has to sacrifice and compromise. Even though there are few of us, we can still be dominant, and we should embrace that. And I don't mean in a BDSM way, because that's all play-acting. I mean actual, not-just-for-fun, no-safeword domination.
>>6355242
I guess it's more about making sure you're not the only one giving up something in the relationship?
>>6356909
All those red noses
>>6356693
But mostly that everything you give is given because you wanted to, not because someone whined or guilted you into it. We are always in danger of compromising our personal boundaries instead of defending them.
>>6357323
Hey, shit ravens there's going to be a pride parade soon but I feel better identifying as an asexual person than a pansexual person. Should I even go? I know a bunch of straight people go for the lulz but am I stepping on any toes if I just stay quiet and watch?
>>6358313
No one will know, really. You belong.
>>6358595
I didn't go. Too broke for to pay for transportation there and back.
>>6362270
Aw, that's a shame.
>>6362689
I can look at the twitter feeds so it's okay
Anyway, I hope you're doing alright out there, bitter anon. It's been quiet in here lately without your rants, got me thinking of you.
>>6362709
I'm sure they're fine. Probably off being bitter some place else.
>>6345569
Never heard of blackmail or threats to maintain or get into a relationship?
Been there done that. It fucking sucked.
Otherwise though yeah I agree with you. Just meant that there are exceptions.
>go through life thinking I'm interested insex
>try to get into a rrelationship
>they just wanted sex
>noped the fuck out
>maybe I like my gender...ew no
>finally accept I'm asexual
>wtf is an ace ring
>I've been wearing a ring with the right color on the right finger for years
Well fuck
