![pepe-turkey[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/ky9zT7z.jpg "pepe-turkey[1].jpg")
I see that question in some of the gen threads occasionally but I wanted to put it to everyone.
I'm a cis bi male with some feminine traits. Since I accepted that about 8 months ago and stopped trying to be hetero and macho I've pretty consistently felt that not being straight is a curse. But it's given me so much more empathy for queer people than I think I could have had otherwise. I thought I was pretty chill with the LGBT thing before but I've had so many of my assumptions challenged and shown to be wrong since then. I still doubt not being straight is ultimately going to make me happier but it's certainly made me a better person.
>>6229067
gay male.
when I first accepted it I was fun. Now I'm depressed I'll never have kids. this is depression to the point I'd even consider marrying some bitch and having some kids and just be depressed and fake all my life.
Adoption is okay but I'd like one biological son. no girls please. I've seen girls grow up (sister) and fuck, they're unbearably painful to deal with. Even a flaming boy like I was is far easier a task.
Fuck, now I'm sad again.
Yes. Guys are beautiful and it gives me an excuse to be reclusive and distance myself from people
Yeah. I am.
Truthfully. It is challenging, there are issues, but I don't even necessarily think it's actually any harder than being straight. It just different. And so. I just do what I do, I love myself, I try to better myself, and hopefully someday I meet somebody who is really, actually worth my time.
Bi is best orientation, i sure am glad to be.
>>6229067
>not being straight is a curse
Why? What don't you like about being bi?
Being gay is not a curse, being bi is. Forget all that "best of both worlds" stuff, it's a lie. Just commit to being straight or gay and you'll be happier.
>>6232852
I wish I wasn't gay, my options would be so much more open and 90% chance I wouldn't be a kv.
I'm a gay male and it feels like winning the lotto 2bh. The only downside is hateful people, but no matter what it is that makes you happy, there will be someone out there to shit on you for it, so I don't care.
>>6232869
you are like a femanon whining on /r9k/. you can just open grindr and get laid, the only thing stopping you is your high standards or social anxiety.
Not really?
I'm no longer angry, ashamed, or depressed about being trans anymore, but I'm still a long way away from being glad for all the pain it took to get here. Maybe in another few years, I'll be able to be?
It takes time to learn to be happy for the rewards that cost to so many of your heart's desires. At least, if you're me it seems to.
>>6231054
>Now I'm depressed I'll never have kids
Stop being depressed about it.
You're not like me.
You can still produce sperm.
That means you can still have kids.
I'd quite literally kill to have your certainty of capability of having children.
Nearly 3 years ago I had an infection that spread to my balls, and it got really bad. They got extremely swollen and painful, eventually I did get it cured through antibiotics, but the damage was done. After the infection was cleared, I thought I was fine. It took me months to realize that my balls were atrophying. I'm now completely sterile -and- I produce virtually no testosterone on my own.
You're whining about literally nothing from my point of view. The world is your oyster, you can have as many of your own kids as you like. If you wind up with girls give them up for adoption until you get a son. Fuck dude, why are you even bitching? The only thing preventing you from having kids is yourself, it's all your own fault, there is only you to blame. If you produce sperm, then you have no right to complain about "not being able to have kids"
Sorry if I sound rude but I get pretty bitter when I see fertile people bitching about not being able to have kids when they're perfectly capable of it and it's an actual possibility instead of -thoroughly impossible-
>>6232833
I always wanted to be normal because I felt like it was the only way to be loved. I know that's not true now, and the whole idea of being normal is pretty amorphous to start with, but I do think it's a lot easier for a straight, masc presenting guy to find a fulfilling relationship than it is for me. And it just makes me feel sad and lost that I spent all these years trying to be someone I just can't be, and now I have to figure the whole thing out again from scratch.
I'm becoming a better person than I was but it's upsetting and difficult turning your self image and understanding upside down.
>>6233075
I uh... had a vasectomy. Did not want kids, absolutely never will. What is your objection to adopting?
im glad im a lesbian but not glad im a transbian
>>6233075
>The world is your oyster, you can have as many of your own kids as you like
my fucking sides
>>6233216
>What is your objection to adopting?
Adopting does nothing to alleviate the fact that I can't pass on my genes. It only alleviates the whole guardian/child relationship thing. I got plenty of that working at a school, it's not enough though. I want to make children - people who are like me, and are literally half me, and a continuation of my life force and my essence. But I can't. Adoption is just you taking care of and providing for someone else's kids. It's pretty much the same thing as being cucked by your wife and raising another man's child. You're taking care of someone else's continuation of their lifeforce.
Nothing of me will get spread on to future generations. I will have zero representation in the future of mankind. If you don't want that, that's cool. I do want it though, but I can't have it, and it's really shitty feeling when you're denied this even though you really want it.
I wasn't even gay either, that's the best part. I was bi. I could have had a normal male life with a wife and kids and blah blah blah. Now instead I am a wimpy, sissy faggot. Exclusively homo now, too. I would feel way too shitty getting with a woman, because it'd just remind me of how I can't have kids. I haven't even started testosterone replacement yet because I don't even see the point aside from helping with health complications. Nothing will make me a real man again. May as well let it slowly kill me. 2.5 years of almost no testosterone so far. I do what I can to combat osteoporosis and such but I pretty much have quit caring. I try really hard not to think about it all that much. I can feel okay most of the time, I've even grown to enjoy myself as I am now, in some ways. It is nice getting loved by men, being taken care of and viewed as this soft cute thing, I like the type of attention I get now. But it still kills me that I can't have kids or a normal life.
>>6233354
What are you laughing at exactly?
This is singlehandedly the most depressive post on 4chan I've ever seen.
I've been here for quite a while.
Hope you get better man.
>>6233374
you've got issues dude. Being unable to be happy because you can't biologically have kids is strictly on your end, that is not a "normal" reaction and yet the abnormality that's bothering you is the physical one. That is way out of alignment.
>>6233394
He's laughing at your total lack of perspective. Your physical health issue is NOTHING compared to the mental one you're carrying around and it's 100% obvious to everyone except you.
> Adoption is just you taking care of and providing for someone else's kids. It's pretty much the same thing as being cucked by your wife and raising another man's child. You're taking care of someone else's continuation of their lifeforce.
also you clearly spend way too much time on 4chan.
>>6233216
There are feminine guys who are completely straight and bi/gay guys who are really masculine. Being masc and attractive to women is independent of being bi. You can still work on being more masculine if that's what you want, but if you feel like you can't do that, then don't blame it on being bi, because that's not the cause.
>>6233405
which one?
>>6233431
Oh yeah I get that. I was just suppressing both at the same time in the interests of I guess traditional masculinity and a desire for "normalcy" so to me they're a package deal, even though I recognize there isn't necessarily any causal link between the two.
>>6233075
>If you wind up with girls give them up for adoption until you get a son
Way to fight the "Gays are pedophiles that are only adopting to groom children" narrative, there, chief.
>>6233418
If anything you are the one who lacks perspective. Be realistic here. I have been fertile, and I have been sterile. You all have only ever been fertile, or have become sterile by your own personal choice. By definition I have more perspective.
If I could produce sperm then it wouldn't be a fucking issue. I'd have no problems. I would make sure I had a kid, at least one. If you can produce sperm then you have no right to bitch about "not being able to have kids" because it's still at least possible for you, and only your own fault if you can't make it happen. If you can't make it happen, it's your own shortcomings.
I flat out can't make it happen, no matter what. I dunno, maybe I could find some unethical scientists or some shit, and pay them a bunch of money to clone me. Kek. But let's be real.
Bitch about it being harder to have kids all you want, but don't for one single moment act like it's the same thing as wanting kids but having absolutely no chance at having them ever, because that chance was robbed from you against your will. It's just not the same as having more difficulty, yet still having even a remote chance at it.
My "adoption doesn't work" point is entirely valid. You're ignoring the whole part about how it fulfills the "guardianship" desire, and the companionship of raising a kid and all that, but it still does not fulfill the desire to continue on my lifeforce past my own death, and to have other humans I can interact with who are part me, and are ultimately a continuation of myself. I can't have a bunch of little "me"s running around, which is what I want. Even when I have the "guardianship" needs fulfilled, I still have that desire and the heartbreaking feels that come with knowing I can't fulfill that.
>>6233501
He's the one wanting only boys you dipshit, you should be saying that to the guy I was responding to.
Way to fight the "Gays are all fucking retarded" narrative, there, chief.
>>6233521
Check the attitude, bud.
>>6233565
I merely am sending your own shit right back at you faggot. Go get aids or something.
>>6233505
> By definition I have more perspective.
well you don't have the perspective of someone without mental health issues so no
> I'd have no problems.
kek
> My "adoption doesn't work" point is entirely valid. You're ignoring the whole part about how it fulfills the "guardianship" desire, and the companionship of raising a kid and all that, but it still does not fulfill the desire to continue on my lifeforce past my own death, and to have other humans I can interact with who are part me, and are ultimately a continuation of myself. I can't have a bunch of little "me"s running around, which is what I want. Even when I have the "guardianship" needs fulfilled, I still have that desire and the heartbreaking feels that come with knowing I can't fulfill that.
sure, that is an issue. but is an issue WITH YOU and a mentally healthy person would recognize that they're just going to have to learn to deal with how things are and find some happiness. The fact that you evidently believe that isn't possible is a serious issue on your part, not to do with your anatomy but with your head. You've convinced yourself you'll never be able to stop fixating on this one thing - do you recognize this is not what a normal person does? I know some people who have been through serious shit - a soldier who saw his friend put a machine gun down a man's throat and pull the trigger, a marine who lost some of her best friends on a helicopter fight (coincidentally, she can't have children), a man who was beaten so hard as a kid he became epileptic, etc.
This isn't to trivialize your issue. But these people's experiences were very bad and they're doing fine because they learned to seek help and fight back against the sense of hopelessness and futility in their lives. In refusing to do so, you truly are sissified regardless of what's going on with your balls.
>>6233626
>well you don't have the perspective of someone without mental health issues so no
Wrong. I used to be totally fine and normal.
Yeah it's something that I need to get over, and typically I do that by trying to not think about it. I'm doing the opposite of fixating on it. I'm just trying to ignore it, and when I do think about it or talk about it it's like this.
What am I supposed to do? Just magically not want kids anymore? I've been trying to deal with it, I can't just go "heh, oh well lol!" and brush it off.
>you evidently believe that isn't possible
What is it that I "evidently" believe isn't possible? Having kids, or having happiness? The kids are a factual impossibility barring some serious technological breakthroughs and the ability for a normal person to have access to them.
I never said that it's impossible for me to be happy, my main point from the beginning was that it's stupid for someone to act like they can't have kids when in reality they still have a possibility of it and can produce sperm.
I still have happiness and enjoyment in my life, I have a loving partner, I have my fun, but I don't think anything can get rid of my desire for my own children. Seriously, how do you even get rid of that? I've tried. I can't just view the world as shit or overpopulated and wave a magic wand and not want kids.
>>6233750
wow brilliant effort. you try not to think about it and you only talk about it on an anonymous babylonian cuneiform imageboard. you certainly know how to deal with your problems, my bad.
> Wrong. I used to be totally fine and normal.
Part of what makes mental health issues so difficult is that you lose perspective you once had. It's not like winning a lifetime's supply of candy, you don't get perspective once and then you're done. You have to constantly readjust to things like... you know... traumatic life events.
> I don't think anything can get rid of my desire for my own children. Seriously, how do you even get rid of that?
I don't see why that would be possible? You just need to deal with it better than you do right now. I dunno what you did as far as therapy but the ones you were seeing clearly sucked and you need to shop around more.
I'm glad that I'm not a normalfag in general.
>>6233858
I don't feel like I can relate to most people, even other queer people.
>>6233837
>I dunno what you did as far as therapy
I've done nothing. :/
Unless there's some good shit I can do for free I won't really be able to either. I can't afford to regularly blow money, especially on what very well might wind up being a quack who goes "just bee urself lol! :^)"
I don't even have any sort of medical coverage. I'm basically my boyfriend's live-in fucktoy and maid, I don't even work.
Over time it has gotten a bit easier on me. Maybe that'll keep going. I'm not as fucked up as I was when I first found out I was sterile for life, it's become less sharp and more numbed. I've grown more "used to it." Maybe I just need more time. I dunno man. I know I should probably just get my shit together and talk to some professional about all this, I just don't know how they can really help me any more than time passing will.
>>6233922
well, I don't know. I mean if it's too difficult for you to get, it's too difficult to get. But you should look into what it would take for you to get some. And if you do get help, don't be afraid to shop around, idiots go into that profession like any other but a good one really eases the pain.
Are there people you can talk to in real life about this?
>>6233955
I've talked to my bf a good deal about it but I don't really like being a huge bummer around him, he doesn't ever want kids himself and I kinda feel like he thinks I'm being dramatic about it - not that he doesn't care though. He'll hold me and try to make me feel better if I'm feeling like shit, but can't really offer up much in the way of words.
I guess the same applies to my other friends. I don't really talk about it to them much just because I know I'm drained by it when people are whining to me about their problems, especially ones I can't make go away, yet I try to be there and help them anyway. I don't really like subjecting others to that, I don't want to seem like this depressed mess to them.
Talking with my mother about did help me a bit when this all started. She's affected by it too, directly, because she doesn't get to have any grandkids unless my 32 year old kissless virgin sister somehow pulls it off. She was able to comfort me a good deal from the place I was in after I found out. She reminded me that both sides of my family will be continuing on, and all the parts that made me get to live on, it's just my specific combination of those parts that doesn't. She also pointed out others in my family tree that never reproduced, yet they're still in the thoughts of their future relatives.
That definitely hasn't made the shit feels go away or anything, but it did help dig me out of the initial pit of despair though, and it made it easier to deal with. I still wish I could have kids of my own though.
>>6234042
>I still wish I could have kids of my own though.
>What is surrogacy?
>What are 3-parent babies?
Other than the slight difficulties in conception and the mild inconvenience of almost certainly getting HIV if your bf/husband cheats, homosexual relationships trump heterosexual ones in every way, shape, and form.
>>6234100
>What is surrogacy?
Lmfao, surrogacy is cool and shit but how the fuck are they going to knock her up when I do not produce any sperm to go into her eggs? Did you miss the whole part about me being sterile and having useless, shrunken, atrophied balls? If they worked I wouldn't even need a surrogate, I'd go knock a girl up myself and raise some kids with her.
>What are 3-parent babies?
Nonexistent. It's two people having a kid and a third person getting cucked. Only two people can pass their genetic information down to a single child. I can't pass my genetic information down to anything but my fucking toothbrush and shit like that.
>>6234133
The balls part kind-of sucks (I thought you were the other guy whining about "I want kids but gay, therefore impossible desu!"). You could use bf's sperm... I guess...
3 parent babies are an actual thing, where they use one woman's enucleated ovum with the nuclei of two parent gametes (not yet tested with same sex, but there is absolutely no reason as to why it wouldn't work).
The baby then inherits the intended parents' nuclear genes and the female ovum donor's mitochondrial DNA (mitochondrial DNA is never inherited from fathers, so it makes no difference to paternal relation to a child, and is not significantly expressed).
Currently, it's used to prevent babies inheriting mitochondrial disease, but it could be used for same-sex baby formation.
>>6234176
>3 parent babies
Ahhhh I see. That makes total sense, totally wouldn't be cucking either.
If they could somehow make that technique work for someone who can't produce gametes, that'd be perfect. I imagine it'd be ridiculously expensive though.
>bf's sperm
It wouldn't be the same ;-; I want my own DNA getting passed down, I already can get the "guardianship" desires covered in other ways. It does feel nice and rewarding to work with kids but it's very different from having some of your very own, little continuations of you.
On top of that my BF doesn't want kids, kek. I don't mind that at all though seeing as I can't have them. I'd probably just wind up jelly.
>>6233075
>tfw your balls didnt get infected and atrophy before puberty
>>6234611
You may say that as (I assume) a tranny, but trust me, if you were a normal and mostly straight male, who wanted kids in the future and a family and all that, and had that happen to you, it'd be devastating.
Furthermore, if it happened when you were a kid your parents almost certainly would have had you get testosterone replacement, and I doubt you'd have had the balls (lol) or the ability to get anything other than that. You'd be just as fucked as you are now, if not more. Hormone replacement is pretty important for people like me, so your parents certainly would have wanted it for you.
I just haven't gone for it yet because I'd rather just let this slowly kill me, because I had the life I wanted robbed from me, and looking like I did and feeling like I did and doing what I used to do would just remind me too much of what I'm not and cannot be anymore. I'd rather just live this different life and try to forget what could have been. At least I'm not making a noose every day after I get home from work, wearing it, and just standing on a chair with it on, ready to go. Not anymore.
>>6229067
>be me, homosex
>tfw the like attracts like meme is real
>tfw got into a situation where my interests and profession intersects literally no part of the homosexual community
>fucking hate gay clubs/bars
>gay friends are all flaming faggots
>straight friends are all normies
>mfw
JUST
The only part I mind is the smaller dating pool. The gays I know are all stuck-up Tumblr fags, and the bisexuals are normie attention-seeker tier and only looking for gfs. Such is life.
>>6236241
What are your interests and profession?
>>6237605
I'm a math PhD student. I also play violin.
>>6234698
Is this whole story real? It kinda reads like a gay bottom fantasy
>oh i got my balls borked by force now I have no choice but to be a fuccboi
Why not just date an infertile woman? Women get problems producing children or their own hormones all the time, this kind of fertility and hormonal issues are super common for females, and they all have that same issue too, worrying guys won't find them woman enough. Find a woman who has that shit going on and adopt a kid.
>>6238462
you might be my future. I'm a math student. Bi but I'm not sure that helps when your first love is so esoteric
let's date :3
