>The Balad of Dresses
Whos ready for some "surprise its a penis" greentext?
>be 18ish
>usual horny, white male cis scum
>at a small gathering, because apparently calling it a party isnt cool or something
>see an athletic looking girl with long hair in a summer dress talking animatedly to another person
>bounces on her toes
>no tits but oh lawdy i saw a jiggly butt under there
>decide to start making my moves and politely include myself in their comversation about the Ottoman Empire ro avoid my "friends" at the time, whom were playing the slap game
>i should mention these people were almost inbred levels of stupid
>anywho turns out shes actually quite fun to talk to and we click quite well
>crumple up my plans for a booty call and start forumalting a casual dating plan
>She seems surprised that i ask her for her number and blushes. Its fucking adorable and i am smitten almost instantly
>We go to the movies, and she is wearing a dress this time as well... how curious
>We go on more dates here and there, and she is just the cutest tomboy I have ever met
>one our third date i finally get the kiss ive been keen on obtaining
>on and on we go and she has yet to wear pants or short, only dresses and modest length skirts
>snuck a small peek once during minigolf and saw spats, neat
>finally get to the point she'll hold my hand, we're kissing more
>Dad enjoys her informative knowledge on subjects
>Mom thinks shes just the cats pajamas
>Neat.jpg
>Eventually we get to the point we start to view eachother as special partners
>Heavy petting, making out, etc
>However her grandmother is always fucking home and has the ears of a fucking fennec
>my parents make a point to be home as much as possible because they are home bodies
>my little drunk is too tiny
>she rides a bicycle everywhere so that isnt going to work either
>literally a month of us teasing the fuck out of each other with little butt grabs, playful pinches, etc
Con.
Keep going
>>6149102
i like the "i saw a trap and went to fuck "her" and reached down and felt a vagina and was surprised then she slapped me" ones better
>white male cis scum
you fuggin white male, stop triggering us :DD
>>6149115
>>6149102
>my parents finally decide to go on vacation together
>ImGoingToFuckOnEverySurface
>The first day they are well and gone, we put on some movies and settle in for the mood to strike its seductive tone
>She makes the first move by kissing my neck
>I drag her into my lap to make out for a bit
>we're having a time slobbering on one another when i start to lift up her dress
>No spats this time, just delicious booty flesh
>Pinky feels something odd while pulling up her dress but im too in the moment to acknowledge it
>dress comes up and over, but catches on something on her front
>Look down to see what it is
>"Oh sorry" She says and tugs the dress
>that was caught on her dick
>Time seems to pause as i contemplate the dick staring at me/an inch from my belly button since she, or he, is straddling me. Time to simply call my partner J
>J's dick is slightly smaller than mine and looks like something an artist would draw if asked what a perfect cock looked like
>"U-uh... Anon?" J says, patting me slightly on the shoulder
>I look up at J and say almost dumbfoundly "You have a dick."
>The anxious fear is plastered across J's pretty face, J's skin turning red
>Im caught in a catch 22 mentally, because A. Im horny as shit and my own dick is telling me that its not a thing to worry about.
>B. J is going to flip if i dramatically throw them off of me and act like an asshole
>C. I still feel quite strongly for J because we have bonded as a couple for all these weeks/months we were dating and dare i say... love them as a person?
>J is mentally freaking the fuck out because (going with her, here, always called J her anyway) her eyes are searching mine for some kind of answer
>"im glad its smaller than mine." Is all i manage to say, cracking a smile
>She leans forward and thumps her forhead onto mine and says that im such an asshole, all while smiling
>Tell her that shes an asshole herself for never telling me until it was already poking me in the stomach
Con.
>>6149138
>Dawns on me that i dont know a damn thing about anal sex
>Ask J, this is her first time as well
>Fugg.gif
Picture both of us buck naked while googling "safe ways for anal sex" and compiling a list of things to watch for/do.
>Research completed, we go back to sexy times, and both of us have a gay ole time.
>We do this every day till my parents come back, but now there is a dirty little secret that we both know
>Mom and Dad thinks shes a girl
>I know she aint
>Her grandma knows she aint but minds her Ps and Qs around others
>However it was not to last
We dated for a total of 8 months before her grandmother had a heart attack and died of complications from it. Due to this she no longer had a place to stay since she was living there because her father tossed her out when she started fully transitioning with the support of her mother. HOWEVER, she then found out they had gotten a divorce and her mother was more than happy to let her live with her... in Canada. Suffice to say we said our goodbyes, and have lost touch since. Have had a small blindspot for extremely feminine guys ever since, but have been married to a woman for 6 years now.
>>6149138
>"im glad its smaller than mine." Is all i manage to say, cracking a smile
jesus dude, you suck
>>6149186
What the fuck else was i supposed to say?!
>Aye, i got a peepee too!
>>6149193
Anon's just trying to rustle your jimmies. You did fine, I enjoyed the story. Too bad it didn't work out between you two. However, it's nice that you found a new person to share your life with.
Have you ever told your wife about J?
>>6149228
Aye i have when she found a picture of me and him i have in my memory box. She pressed me hard till i told her. She had a bit of a yaoi moment
>>6149291
You're misgendering J purposefully? I thought she was 100% trans, from the way you describe it?
And was it really yaoi? I mean, you had sex with her as a man, while seeing her as a woman. So why use a male pronoun for her, now, after so many years?
>>6149447
Man i have no idea what to say to other people. I always called J she and her when we were togrther, but to other people i call J him and he for some reason.
>>6149165
>a gay ole time
hilarious if true
>>6149517
True, but the word play was chosen deliberately. J would also blow me to cheat at videogames. Backlash is that fighting through the bjs and coming has made it almost impossible to orgasm orally
>>6149497
Have you ever thought about meeting J again?
>>6149898
Wouldnt even know how to get ahold of him. Ive tried using Facebook but no one looked familiar
>>6149959
I'm sure if you backtrack far enough you'll find something to go off of.
My question is rather, if you find a way (which, if you put enough effort in, you most likely will), would you do it?
>>6150291
Not sure. He knows the goofy younger me, not the ex-military me. Ive changed a lot since iv known him.
nice fantasy you have op
sorry bro but you had sex with a man, you are now gay for life
just regretfully inform your parents that you will never give them grandsons they always wanted because their son is a faggot who hates vaginas
>>6150457
... but i put my ding dong in vaginas now
>>6149102
A touching story, OP. Thank you ^^.
>>6150526
your infecting those poor girls with the penis virus, they'll soo have a prostate instead of an uterus and a dick comming out of their vagoo.
>>6150626
>>6150666
>uncut trap dicks
my biggest weakness, fug
These huge greentext stories always sound like erotica written by chasers
>>6151236
That hurts anon. These are memories i hold on to.
call me a bitch but I think its a dick move to not disclose you are trans to a straight guy you are dating
>>6151267
Meant it more as a joke but you have to admit it kind of does. There's always similar stories posted on this boatd by guys that "accidentally" discovered their gf has a penis but then it ends in some lovey dovey romantic erotica story lol
I suppose anything is possible these stories always just make me kind of cringe though
>>6151340
For real? Ugh i could have written a book and made so much money....
>I know she aint
>him
I know this is probably just some disgusting chaser's fantasy but if real you're a horrible person, OP. And I'm glad she's far away from a piece of shit like you.
>>6151575
Why so mad anon?
