Alright you faggots, how do I stop myself from wanting to be a girl. I know my mind is fucked up but I don't want to become too much of a degenerate. Like come on, enough is enough.
Suicide would be your only option.
Either that or a lobotomy.
>>6146898
This podcast might help you one way or another. Give it a chance.
http://podbay.fm/show/811192896/e/1391878740?autostart=1
>>6146905
Suicidal lobotomy.
>>6146914
You know that doesn't sound like a bad idea, I already hate myself so I don't want to add another reason to the pile.
Can't be done, son. This is the hand you were dealt.
Consider first you can't become a girl.
Next why would you want to live as one?
Finally, try to seek a psychologist.
>>6146927
While you'd probably miss out on a lot, I understand that sentiment. MtF here.
>>6146936
I just consider it doing my part, the world already has enough degenerates.
>>6146943
I dunno man, assuming you actually are interested in the philosophical side of it, would you not consider being mentally fucked and suicidal "degeneracy" in a literal sense?
Would it not be productive in that situation to seek to better yourself and survive?
I'm not necessarily convinced that being trans is OK (despite being trans myself), but ultimately your circumstances are decided for you and your choices define you - if your choice is to quit instead of facing the fear that you might not be what you want to be, would that not be degeneracy?
>>6146962
Like there's normal degeneracy and there's super degeneracy. I've already come to terms with my normal degeneracy, though I'm not willing to spend thousands of dollars to become some misshaped mix of the sexes. Even if a part of my brain actually wants me to do that.
>>6146981
It won't be easy to stop the world from the path it's on, and it's on the path to not caring about these things.
You are ultimately imposing a restriction on yourself, and are upset about that restriction.
You've made the first step of realising that something's wrong, but you have yet to realise that you can't control your desires :)
Nothing ever improved without coming to terms with its flaws, and neither will you. The key is to remember the difference between the facts of the situation and how you think other people might feel about it.
If you're considering suicide because you want to be the opposite gender and can't cope with it, then either just die or do something about it.
The degeneracy you're so afraid of is in being a little bitch about it and making up terms like "super degeneracy" to give yourself an excuse not to do something you're afraid of.
Ironically, you are a pussy.
>>6147021
I mean I'm at the point where I don't want to die, and I don't want to be trans but I have to choose soon, I just turned 18 so if I'm going to do it I have to do it quickly if I want to look halfway decent by the end of it.
>>6147021
I'm stoned as shit and that's actually true as hell.
>>6147052
But if I don't become trans I have to be a guy, which also sucks for me. :/
Degeneracy doesn't fucking exist faggot. Degeneracy is nothing more than a shitty ass buzzword for "muh morals" and "muh tradition" which is completely arbitrary anyways.
The reality is, you are nothing more than a sack of meat, blood, and electrical bursts which animate you. Your life is so incredibly short and rare why would you waste your time and intentionally sabotage your happiness to please those who criticize your feelings and hate you most?
Degeneracy is the stupidest fucking concept ever and you probably deserve to kill yourself if you actually make core decisions about your life based on what some other fallible, sentient bag of meat thinks about what you do with the only life you will ever have.
>>6147052
>18
ha ha
I'm 24 this year and this is the first year I've even considered living past 25 (big mystery there, time gets more valuable as it runs out). I'm STARTING hormones.
I know I'm going to have narrower hips etc than MtFs who transitioned earlier, but now that I'm starting to value the skills I have outside of the person I am, living has become worth a little more.
Not saying I'm going to live through it, I might off myself a year into HRT - but I am nothing if not a realist.
If you're 18 just stop thinking about it and see a therapist. I cannot begin to describe to you how much I regret not doing so when I was like 14.
>>6147059
That makes sense, I am a stoner.
>>6147080
See a therapist? What're they supposed to do snap me out of it?
>>6147103
Give you hormones, you big confused sissy.
>>6147073
this. To be 18 years old and base your entire life on some faggots idea of degeneracy is sad and laughable.
>>6147103
And help you attain some kind of clarity with what you want out of life of course. Since you seem confused over whether that's wanting to be a girl or a corpse.
>>6147073
You're opinions are so incredibly different from mine that you are like an alien to me.
Literally nothing you just said makes any logical sense to me.
I'm not even trying to shitpost or anything, I really can't understand your viewpoint at all.
I value tradition, morals, because that's what my family values, that's what my ancestors valued. I can't understand why someone would go against their own kith and kin to satisfy their own desires.
>>6146905
>lobotomy
This op, then you could become the airheaded blonde bimbo you were always meant to be and spend the rest of your life wrapping your plump cocksucking lips around superior alpha male penis.
>>6146898
Hey OP, you're a /pol/ack right?
I'm always interested in meeting/talking with other trans /pol/acks,
If I shared a throw-away email would you be interested in talking some time?
>>6147116
Bring it up. Honesty is an admirable trait if nothing else.
We had -no idea- you were from /pol/. I've definitely never been there every day for several years & I had no idea when I saw the first mention of the word "degeneracy".
>>6147120
Yeah, why would you lie about who you are and your mental state and then kill yourself? They'd be horrified.
>>6147130
Um sure, I don't mind talking. Though I'm not trans-anything at the moment.
>>6147146
>Though I'm not trans-anything at the moment.
>>6146898
>how do I stop myself from wanting to be a girl
Yep, definitely not trans. Nope. Not at all.
Anyways, you can reach me at
[email protected]
if you ever want to talk about being trans and degeneracy or whatever.
I dunno if you'd want to, but I found it nice to know that there were other people like me on /pol/, and that I wasn't the only degenerate, so I figured it might make you feel better too.
>>6147173
>[email protected]
Sent. Also nice Dark Souls reference. I've been playing a ton of it recently.
>>6147120
Some of us aren't necessarily that close to our 'kin', or haven't been instilled with those sorts of values to the same degree.
There's no logical reason to perpetuate the sort of ancestral worship you describe, all of our ancestors lived in a time when much less was known about the world therefore the values they upheld were based on a lesser understanding. They might not be compatible with modern life because our existential circumstances are so different, and so we seek different values that correspond to the way we understand the world.
>because that's what my family values, that's what my ancestors valued.
And if your parents were dirty sandniggers, would you still uphold all of their values? Even if you knew the world to the same degree you do now?
>>6146905
Can confirm, just fucking kill yourself. There are enough trannies around here.
>>6147173
plz check your email
>>6146898
Don't.
another polack here. I've caved. I don't have the strength to deny it. I'm starting hrt
>>6148605
Me too. I really wish that I could have toughed it out. :(
I still hate muds, and kikes though. That will never change.
>>6147021
>>Ironically, you are a pussy.
LOL!!!!! THE IRONY!!!
ah! my sides!
>>6147120
That people lived in a different age, an age where ignorance was not only widespread, but enforced by powerful groups who wanted to rule over the masses.
Your ancestors either gave in on those "values" other promoted to control their lifes, or promoted those "values" to control the lifes of others.
Shit, the same church who promoted those values was the perfect example of "degeneracy"
The only "values" I accept are those of "live and let live", and even these can be "wrong" in some situations.
Your life is a fucking nonsense in the midle of a giant vacuum called "the universe" which in itself is another big nonsense.
Stop living the life others want you to live and find yourself
>>6147021
>ironically you are a pussy
Aw shit nigga you just got roasted.
Welcome to the trans world. It's better not to fight it, as the more you fight it, the worse it will be when you'll actually start transition after realizing you cannot fight your own mind.
Don't be one of those 40 yo hons that rejected themselves for 20 years. Start today and never regret life again.
>>6149858
What's a hon exactly?
>>6150215
An unpassable trans woman that started late after having established a long life as a man. They usually are married and have kids, and they transition when their bell goes off after testosterone drops due to old age and they've fulfilled their biological imperative.
Womanhood is just another thing for them to conquer and they tend to believe they are trannier than thou.
>>6150215
The typical hon story goes like this... a child grows up thinking she will be a woman when she gets older, so somewhere between 4 and 6, they start dressing like it. Their parents discourage it, chase them around and yell at them, threaten them and beat them, call them names and say things like, "something’s wrong with you!", and "do that again and I will beat the shit out of you!". They are told that they will end up in hell, that nobody will accept them, and that they are in fact boys. And society helps… they get beaten up at school, called “queer” and “faggot”, and are continually ridiculed. So, they immediately start to hide who they really are.
The secret crossdressing begins, usually about age six. Maybe with panties under the jeans, and literally in closets, basements, and attics. Anywhere where Mom and Dad won’t see. Beatings are common, yelling is normal, but an overwhelming feeling that the child is "not right" is prevalent. So, the child learns to hide it. And to please her parents, she becomes a "man" and this sets a dangerous and wasteful life-long pursuit. The young feminine boy learns to hide his real self and project and almost unreal, macho persona to the world. A typical TS spends her teen years, her young adult years, and eventually goes into middle age doing typically macho things... joining the military, jumping out of airplanes, getting into fights, working in construction, driving trucks, getting married and having children... all to hide who she really is. A TS spends most of her life doing typically male things, overcompensating to hide her true, female self. And eventually, it all falls apart.
>>6150278
The psychological community which deals with the transgendered has a set of guidelines they use... after generations and generations of transgendered folk were studied and analyzed, they came up with this age formula... the typical transsexual begins the transition from male to female between ages 38 and 40, add approximately 2.5 years for every child she has.
Why does this formula work, and why is it so accurate? Listen closely young ones... many things happen to you as you approach age 40. One of the biggest is that your body seriously begins to decrease its output of testosterone. This is serious business, hon, without testosterone, you no longer can do all those things that overcompensated for your female side... sports decline, sexual appetite for women declines, you stop working out, you stop feeling like a man, and you stop feeling that you should continue to act like a man. And your feminine side explodes in the vacuum left behind. You dress more often, you take more chances, you buy more clothes, you see more men... you become more of a woman, physically, mentally, spiritually, and sexually. The stop-gap measure you have been hiding behind for so many years simply disappears... you are in trouble. But there is more.
>>6150281
Around age 40 or so, people in your life start having heart attacks, are diagnosed with cancer and other diseases, and begin to die. This gives you a firm sense of your own mortality and you begin to reorganize your priorities... you realize that life is short. And your crossdressing and transgendered behavior increases in amount, quality, and chance taking. Maybe you ever get caught about now. Then, enter the children thing.
Transsexuals get married and have children at a young age, almost all do, in an effort to hide who they really are. They fill the traditional role of the male of the species... they become husbands and fathers. But around age 40 or so, your children begin to near maturity. We marry young and have children young... so say you marry about age 18-20 or so, have children, and they grow up and either leave at age 18 or stick around a few years for college and leave at age 20 or so. Do the math... marry at 20, kid leaves at 20, you are 40... ha! Now, add another 2.5 years for every other child you had and the formula begins to take shape... you transition after your biological needs and purpose have been met.
>>6150288
You hid who you were your entire life, you overcompensated to hide who you were, you fucked up and got married and had children. You binged and purged, bought and threw out your clothes, hid them in boxes and bags in the closet, attic, and office. You had secret meetings in hotels and the back of adult video theaters and your own bedroom where your wife sleeps... but now, now you can see the light at the end of the tunnel... your testosterone level approaches zero, you realize that life is short, and your children are almost grown... your bell is about to go off. You are about to start your transition.
>>6150296
>>6150288
>>6150281
>>6150278
>>6150315
Listen... all TS’s have led the exact same life, only the minor details change. Is it yours?
>>6150321
I do not care to hear that this entire work or parts of it are only my opinion. No, it isn’t. It is what the vast majority of Sisters have experienced, that is all. Take it or leave it. I have said all I wish to say and though I may update it from time to time, I will let the work stand on it’s own merits. It is not my opinion and I will prove it. If it were my opinion, I would state things such as the following:
I don’t think any transsexual ever lived who fucked a man in the ass. I don’t think that any transsexual ever existed that did drag shows. I don’t think any transsexual ever let work or family stop them from going full time. I think that fully half of the people that get the GRS are anything but a Sister. I think that all activists have something to hide from themselves. In my opinion, transsexuals take the easy way out by becoming lesbians, and activists. And in my opinion, transsexuals should not compete against genetic girls in sports competitions unless they are not known as a transsexual but simply as women.
>>6150338
I wrote this for one reason and one reason only: To help others. I get thousands of e-mails, almost all positive, but I cannot answer them all. I have only answered those that wish to spread it around the globe in an effort to expand what I started… to get the truth out to those who need it. I apologize in advance if I appear to ignore you and your letter to me. I cannot answer them all, and honestly, I do not want to. I have chosen to publish this book online instead of through normal means. If I published it through a regular publisher, I would not be allowed to speak the truth so honestly, and since it’s only purpose is to help those few in need,
>>6150359
>>6150343
OP here, I'll be completely honest. I have no idea what you're saying. But thanks I think?
>>6150359
>>6150343
u focking wot m8?
>>6150368
I think it got off it's meds or something. Either that or a masterful fucking troll.
Either way, don't listen to anything it has to say.
>>6150338
We only speak the truth here. As I always say, the bigger the lie is, the easier it will be to eat. If you sincerely believe you want to be a woman, you can start doing the complete opposite subconsciously just to avoid the inevitable depression that is going to ensue.
Look, all these stories about transpeople feeling they should have been the other sex since the age of 4 is a rarity more than anything. The first thing I learned with transexuality is to never listen to anyone's experience since it will instantly be a paradox with your own life and what you went through.
The biggest thing to remember is this: You believe you would be happier as the opposite sex. Your mind believes it. You may not want to hear it and you try to escape it, but your mind decided at your place, and you cannot fight forever, anon.
Fight for the truth. You will suffer. You will cry. You will break things. You will break your own ego and your family. But down the road, this will be your best decision. You'll finally meet who you truly are, who you were truly destined to be.
Stop lying. Join us in our quest of truth, and say fuck to the world.
>>6150368
I encourage all of you to pass it on to as many of them as you know. If you do not agree with all of it (and no one does, including me) then pass it on and follow up with your own guidance. Live well, live with grace, dignity, and pride… and teach.
>>6150392
I transitioned because I had to, not because I wanted to. I did so because I was living a lie, was about to go insane, because I had to or I would have committed suicide. Am I happier? Well, I traded one set of big problems for another set of big problems, that's all. Would I do anything different if I could do it all over again? Most likely not. I made the best choices I could have made, and they were based on the information I had at the time. I am a realist and I lived my life the best I could. I would rather have been born a homosexual, a lesbian, or a bi-sexual, anything other than a transsexual. But it is too late for that.
>>6146898
Honestly it's not that bad.
Just because you're a tranny doesn't mean you have to act like a degenerate.
>>6146898
smoke weed all the time
>>6150392
>Your mind believes it
>You cannot fight forever, anon
Fucking brain, betraying me like that.
>>6150392
You really took some time to write a lot of shit.
> As I always say
>The first thing I learned
>The biggest thing to remember is this
Abusing filler phrases is a bad sign that you want to pretend you say more than you do.
>never listen to anyone's experience since it will instantly be a paradox with your own life and what you went through.
I can imagine a clash between some narrative and your experience, seeing how it went for other people is a good tool to understand oneself whether it is transition or any other problem. It gives you perspective. Also, that isn't a paradox.
Each paragraph had a lot of shit, but those two were the things that bothered me the most. Learn to pretend to be smart, kthxbye
>>6150621
What I call is a paradox that for example, some trans people will say " they always were this way ", while you may sit here, having tried to live all your life as your biological gender. This is the paradox that made me doubt the most. There are other ones out there that you can't really seem to explain, but in the end, we all arrive to the conclusion that we were supposed to be the other gender, whether you like it or not.
So yeah, maybe I am not the smartest one out there, but at least, I've given my perspective on how I see things to the OP that is clearly rejecting a part of themselves.
OP, do not regret anything. At least, go and see a therapist about it. It doesn't commit you to anything, except talking and facing truth.
>>6150670
I'd stil like to ask you as a human being of any gender that you take time to think what you want to say before starting to write and focus on presenting your opinions followed by particular arguments. Try to be a smarter person.
Also, yes, OP should go talk with a specialist and dedicate a few days or months to think this through. 4chan can't tell you what to do.
>>6150739
We're on the fucking internet and on 4chan. Who do you think I am, Tony Hawkins?
On a more serious note, I just hope that the idea was at least there. If yes, then my job is done.
>>6150871
Well, some psychologists may assault you with thousands of questions, while others just sit here and listen to you rambling about life. I've had both types and they are both pretty easy as long as you know what you want to say.
Just say that you've had these thoughts of wanting to be the other gender, and that you don't want it ( if that's what you think, of course. ). Then go from there and just develop until you think you have emptied your bag. The aim is saying all this crazy shit and emptying it all ( you may cry or scream too ) so you feel better about all of it.
>>6147120
>I value tradition, morals, because that's what my family values, that's what my ancestors valued.
Absolutely meaningless buzzwords. Are you even remotely capable of thinking for yourself?
>>6150871
I'd say the way you bring it up is something the analyst will take in consideration, so avoid any "tricks" 4chan mentions. I remember a few threads with people complaining that they said what they told them to say and it backfired terribly.
Just be sincere, be open to whatever he says and if you see the need to challenge his conclusion remember to do it calmly, going through the things you think about it one at the time and with clarity.
>>6147120
OP here, I agree. This is just a hard thing to come to terms with.
i want to be spunky degenerat with nice skin
and cloths
>>6148605
>>6148888
Maybe one day science will allow you two be bred by strong Aryan men so you can help him raise his morally upright, white-guilt-free children.
How did you two start repressing, by the way? What do you think the factors that were involved in making your desire to be female feel wrong were?
>>6150278
>>6150281
>>6150288
>>6150296
Are you speaking from personal experience? Do you have a source from a psych for that formula? Though it does make sense. One of the strangest things about being a tranny is every other tranny already knows your story.
>>6152680
>one day science will allow you two be bred by strong Aryan men so you can help him raise his morally upright, white-guilt-free children.
That is my dream.
>How did you two start repressing, by the way?
My first memory of repressing was when I was like four or five. I was scared to play dress up because I just knew it would be bad. Playing barbies and girl stuff was okay, but dress up was crossing the line. I'm not really sure why. They kept having to explain to me that boys and girls were different, and that I was a boy. I remember making plans to marry, be a mom, and build a house with one of the few male friends I had when I grew up. That didn't go over too well. I remember never saying anything at Christmastime when my girl relatives would get the kinds of presents I really wanted, and then feigning enthusiasm for my presents. Couldn't have a Little Mermaid themed birthday party. Couldn't ever be a witch for Halloween. My dad was embarrassed by me and didn't want to be seen with me. In 3rd grade, my family made me stop playing with girls so much, and find male friends. Then in 5th grade, puberty started, and I was so jealous of the girls, but what can you do? After that, it was just hating life, and second guessing every natural reaction that I had. Anon, you sit like a girl, haha. Anon, you're supposed to put your hands on their hips when you dance, not drape them around their shoulders. Anon, you eat like a girl. Anon, your the girl in your relationship aren't you. Why are you such a faggot, anon? Anon, you react like a girl when you get angry, it's funny, see that you guys? That's the gist of it. I was trying to cover it up too, but damn. Sorry for the rant.
>>6153761
Wow, real trutrans, huh?
>Playing barbies and girl stuff was okay
They still bought you barbies and other girl things, or you played with your female friends' toys? So back when you were 4 or 5 you know that it would have been bad to be found crossdressing, but you're not sure how you knew then?
>They kept having to explain to me that boys and girls were different, and that I was a boy.
I'm guessing they thought you were intentionally imitating girls.
>That didn't go over too well.
What do you mean? You told your friend and he didn't take it well? Or did you tell your parents?
>I remember never saying anything at Christmastime when my girl relatives would get the kinds of presents I really wanted, and then feigning enthusiasm for my presents.
What sort of things would they get you?
>Couldn't have a Little Mermaid themed birthday party. Couldn't ever be a witch for Halloween.
I'm surprised you had the courage to ask your parents for that.
>My dad was embarrassed by me and didn't want to be seen with me.
Did anyone ever tell you the sort of son he was expecting?
>Then in 5th grade, puberty started
5th grade? Really? How do you know?
>Anon, you're supposed to put your hands on their hips when you dance, not drape them around their shoulders.
You had ballroom dance or was this at school dances?
>Anon, your the girl in your relationship aren't you.
You had to date girls then or was it a complete joke?
How old are you now?
>>6154031
>Wow, real trutrans, huh?
Meh, more like broken shell of a human.
>They still bought you barbies and other girl things, or you played with your female friends' toys?
Friends, relatives. I just knew it wouldn't be well received.
>Or did you tell your parents?
I told my parents, and they didn't like it, lol.
>What sort of things would they get you?
Boy stuff, video games, sports equipment, action figures
>Did anyone ever tell you the sort of son he was expecting?
Yes, a not faggy one.
>5th grade? Really? How do you know?
Towards the end of the year. 6th grade too. Umm, girls started to look different, obviously.
>You had ballroom dance or was this at school dances?
School dances. Oh, and I also listened to mostly chick music too until everyone told me I was being faggy.
>You had to date girls then or was it a complete joke?
I didn't "have to". I was just trying to get the will power to be normal.
>How old are you now?
26
>>6154031
>I'm surprised you had the courage to ask your parents for that.
I didn't think it was out of the ordinary.
>>6147120
values are without logic, faggot
>>6154174
>Meh, more like broken shell of a human.
It's common for trans people.
>I just knew it wouldn't be well received.
I felt the same way at a young age. Don't know why that is. What is it that children pick up that indicates admitting things like that is a bad idea.
>I told my parents, and they didn't like it, lol.
What did they tell you? That you were going to marry a girl and be a father? Did they hit you?
>Boy stuff, video games, sports equipment, action figures
You didn't get a single worthwhile game?
>Umm, girls started to look different, obviously.
Oh, I thought you meant yours! That's what I found so strange, that you started puberty at the same time as the girls. Makes a lot more sense now that you cleared that up.
>School dances. Oh, and I also listened to mostly chick music too until everyone told me I was being faggy.
You attended because of your friends? The oddest thing is I could swear one of my schools offered ballroom dance as an elective, but I'm not sure which it was. Maybe I was hoping for it?
>I didn't "have to". I was just trying to get the will power to be normal.
How badly/well did those relationships go?
>26
Have you come out to your parents? When did you get the internet?
>>6154182
Well, in my case there was no chance of me doing that because my parents considered Halloween costumes and themed birthday parties frivolous expenses. And when it comes to expenses, I've tried to be temperate with my tastes for my parents. A cake and some cider on birthdays is enough for them. There's also the dislike my mother has of Halloween from a religious standpoint. So I have no idea how common doing what you did is among trans with parents who do celebrate that way.
>>6154333
If they don't stand up to logic and make people feel worse, then they should be ignored, or better yet, never passed down and never mentioned except as a cautionary tale against stupidity.
>>6152680
OP here, I'm pretty sure it's just because I never had a male role model (Dad's in jail). I've always been jealous of girls and have always envied them. i.e. played them whenever I could in video games, even roleplayed at them almost exclusively in DnD. The feelings have only been really strong for about a year and I've been keeping them under lock and key. I know my brain's fucked up but still this is getting ridiculous.
>>6153761
I wrote a poem to myself in 8th grade that I never understood. It was like a curse and I sealed my soul behind a razorblade threatening my thigh and arms again. I stopped cutting but spent 10 years in denial or more accurately avoidance. I am 24.5 and only now stepping into the light and very much against my family (who I am somehow stuck to like a pathetic weak minded child -- I never bothered to do anything but hide in a fucking basement I mean no shit look at me I'm hideous and small and BOY).
Then recently it was no longer 'well i'm a boy. I can live with that'. It was full blown body (not gender) dysphoria. Like I looked in the mirror and just burst into tears. I didn't cry for about 10 years notwithstanding extremely rare exceptions.
I am starting on HRT pretty much ASAP trying to catch myself falling. I will be cross dressing more and more openly now instead of hiding the pajamas beneath the baggy pants (couldn't wear jeans. Would break my soul that I couldn't fill them out so I hid behind hoodies and cargo pants).
Arg. My whole life is a lie. I did however get really good at lying cheating stealing and breaking into things like a hacker boy :/ a trans journalist sounds good. I just need to grow the fuck up I'm still emotionally like 18.
>>6154589
oh the poem said "change it all to past tense. Untitle me is what I was" And funny enough I'd been going by Idonthaveaname online for years. I just hated my boy name. I've always fucking hated my family but couldn't pin why until now. Transphobic through ignorance. Malicious ignorance now.
I need to go meet women and have them teach me their ways D: i have avoided all female friendships and only ever been "boy"friend when all I've ever wanted to do was be a lesbian house wife.
I love asian concubines cuz I want to be one :3
>>6146898
There is no way out. Almost every trans girl will tell you the same thing: they wish they transitioned sooner
The longer you wait the worse it's going to get. The dysphoria will increase and transition will become harder and HRT will become less effective. Stop trying to repress it. It doesn't work, and you're only hurting yourself.
I was in the same position you're in now when I was 16. I had a bunch of stuff bookmarked about transition and suddenly it was completely overwhelming. I told myself the same thing
>I know my mind is fucked up but I don't want to become too much of a degenerate. Like come on, enough is enough.
And I repressed it for 3 years until I was 19 and finally just couldn't wait any more. I'm 23 now. I pass in looks and voice for the most part. I regret not just starting when I was 16 so badly though
I know it is overwhelming, but you can do this, if you take my advice, you'll come to thank me for telling you this and pushing you to do it despite your fear. I wish someone had done this for me
I'm sort of in the same boat. It's getting to the point where soon it'll be suicide or do something about the urges to be a girl.
Or maybe I'll be able to resist them for longer. Idk.
I'm just so scared to get therapy, I don't even know where I'd go. I'd probably either have to chance it with a random place in the town where I live or drive 1.5 hours to a city that has therapists who are experienced with trans stuff.
Not that I could ever admit it to a therapist.
>>6154648
Seeking help is a good idea
Being trans is very hard life
It takes a lot of effort, dedication and good genetics to be successful
>>6146898
Hahahaha you think there is a way out.
Pussy bitch.
>>6154743
It's just so much simpler to kill myself though.
Kill self
>relatives might be sad for 1-2 years at mots
>don't have to worry about anything
Transition
>am a mentally ill faggot for life
Don't transition
>hate being alive
>want to kill self
there is no winning move
>>6154753
the best move is clearly to transition and THEN kill yourself
Easy, FUCKING KILL YOURSELF ALREADY FAGGOT CUNT
>>6154637
Are you serious Anon? It gets worse than this? It already feels like its overwhelming my common sense.
>being a guy is so chill and easy
>want to be in a qt lez relationship
Why is life so shit?
>>6155616
Oh shit you described me perfectly.
>>6155626
If videogames and porn didn't exist I would probably have went for it already or just killed myself.
>>6154595
>lesbian house wife
Good luck trying to be a housewife when your spouse is a cis woman. It's pretty much either straight housewife or lesbian breadwinner for you as an AMAB.
>>6155080
This likely to happen when you become an non passing wreck
>>6147073
based nihilism post. my nigga.
>>6155616
>>6155626
>>6155725
iktf
>>6152680
I started repressing at five. I repressed too hard and damaged myself.
Now I have a negative Pavlovian response that makes me ashamed to act feminine in any way
I used the gym to repress. But I could never pretend good enough to the point where I could Dom a girl.
My first kiss made me dysphoric, she worshipped my muscles, totally loved my physique. And it was that moment that killed me inside and realised I can't hide anywhere
We broke up two days later and I became majorly depressed and dropped out of college
>>6158688
Should've dated a bi-girl, then if you wanted the change she wouldn't care and you could go for it.
>>6158958
Oh and [spoiler] sorry to hear that [/spoiler]
>>6158688
>that makes me ashamed to act feminine in any way
Me too. My dad would yell at me and family gave me shit when I would get mistaken for a girl sometimes.
I guess it worked since now I'm too scared or anxious to do anything feminine unless I'm alone and all the doors are locked.
Revel in the degeneracy. It's just a word stuck-up assholes use for fun they aren't having. You can worry about some bullshit, or you can accept that absolute morality is a crock of shit and enjoy your life. Seriously, I think there is a strain of fundamentalist out there that assumes that any enjoyment of life, any moment that isn't agony must be some form of wickedness. I would feel sorry for those assholes if they didn't spend so much time shouting down those that have a shred of self-esteem. How are you actually hurting anyone by transitioning? And people doing stupid shit because they are bigoted against trans people doesn't count. Yeah, you might not be the hottest chick in the world, but if you are more open and accepting you might find someone that makes you smile and feel beautiful. Society as a whole may have a problem with trans people, but in our own enclaves we can find the love and support of our fellows and those cis-folks that can see through the bullshit that social conservatives can't. Not saying the hard part will be over, or that it ever gets easy, but eventually you find a lot of little reason to keep going. It sounds trite, but there are a lot of little hopes out there, and you might surprise yourself with how much brighter your life is when you take care of yourself and take the steps to bring the real you out. The fear and terror of letting off the MAN ARMOR is real, I know all too well. You are only seeing the negatives because you can't see the positives, because all that garbage in your head that makes you refer to trans as degeneracy in the first place. Talk to your therapist, getting over self-hatred is first step.
>>6165267
there are literally no positives to being trans
Jewish God will send you to Jewish hell if you transition, OP.
>>6165458
Now I want to transition more o.o
>>6165267
In evolution terms it's a degenerate trait, if we were still in a state where our societies needed to focus on productivity and surviving then trans people would be a huge problem to keep alive and allow to keep producing.
Since we are Apex predators and can waste/allocate resources to accepting degenerate traits, everything is fine and both sides shouldn't complain yes lgbt people aren't normal but who cares they aren't a problem in the slightest, well only when someone doesn't get their gender/sexuality right.
>>6165458
we don't have a hell
>>6165458
Actually, not according to Reform Judaism, which is the largest Jewish group in the USA
I'm legitimately considering converting to it despite being raised Catholic
>>6165267
And what would the second step be, Anon?
>>6146898
Because women hate other women more than men do, and are by far more savage. If you want to be a sronk wymin with them gurrrrrrlllfriends, you're going to be miserable.
>>6165267
>impying having a mental illness is fun
by that logic, I shouldn't treat my schizophrenia so I have someone to talk to whenever I want :^)
>>6147120
>Society makes up random rules every century or so
>Gay is good
>Gay is bad
>Beards are good
>Beards are bad
>They say you're a bad person if you don't follow these stupid made up rules
>You only get one life yet you are going to spend it satisfying the beliefs of others
>Leaving yourself permanently unhappy so some anonymous person will approve of you
The problem with /pol/ types like you sis that you have no confidence to do your own thing. You must constantly copy others and win their approval.
>>6158688
>My first kiss made me dysphoric, she worshipped my muscles, totally loved my physique. And it was that moment that killed me inside and realised I can't hide anywhere
Iktf. So I'm this beta guy who can't get laid, go to university just to get laid, when I finally do I don't like it! Turns out I prefer to be dominated by big men. Total waste of time and money. I still find girls attractive though. idk I'm confused
There is a lot of shit a person can grow out of but being trans is forever. Take it from someone who ruined their life trying to be the most masculine caricature ever just to appease others.
if life hands you lemons... cut of your balls
>>6146898
Wait, what???
Slow down, first things first OP!
Could you become a hot trap?
just know that it's a lot harder to make a vagina from a dick than a dick from vagina, so if you're starting with a dick and want a vagina you probably won't get it even in 10 years time. What you can get now is some mangled piece of shit that just looks as a vagina, but if you were to have sex with a man he would know the moment he put his dick in that this wasn't a real vagina right...
So, don't believe when trannies tell you it feels just like a real vagina, how the fuck would they know? You can take hormones and then just stop and revert but if you butcher your genitals that's that boi, you're done for. So be careful.
>>6167498
>just know that it's a lot harder to make a vagina from a dick than a dick from vagina
fucking retard alert
>>6167502
>not knowing how more complex a vagina is than a penis
>not knowing that trannies with fake vaginas need to dilate themselves so the hole does shut
>not knowing that trannies with fake vaginas need to shove like a liter of lube in so they can even have sex because their fake vaginas can't lubricate themselves like real ones
>not knowing there won't be any spasms like with a real vagina
it's just impossible to replicate sonny, you can try and believe otherwise but even if you trick a man with your looks the moment he puts his dick in your fake vagina he will know what you are
>>6167510
You know they can't make a dick from a vag right? They literally take part of the persons arm for an ftm dick. Mtf vag on the other hand is a pretty tried and true surgery. Also, way to overstate dilating and lube.
fucking chasers
>>6150278
This isn't how it goes at all. Very few of them ever dress up until they start getting horny as a teen
>>6150331
Completely wrong
>>6154174
not tru trans. Tru trans figure it out early and transition before 18 max. Now a days not so much though cause every faggot transitions before 18 now but usually closer to 18 than 14
>>6154589
>waits till 25
Anon if you we're a girl inside why didn't you express it more when you were younger. You spent 7 years as an adult with full autonomy and decided to live as a man...
Are you into girls too lol ?
>>6154595
Aaaaaaaand transbian. Ok then.
>trutrans
Lol
>>6146898
You are on your first step to enternal bliss. Your next step is to accept Jesus into your life. Just fucking with ya but atleast you figured out early enough that the trans-anything is a bullshit. My advice is to stop watching porn so much. Maybe once a week, and stop jerking off so much to.
>>6167485
Um maybe? I already look really feminine.
>>6167690
Why's that? Is porn fucking me up that badly?
>>6170161
Do it, OP!
>>6146898
>how do I stop myself from wanting to be a girl
Idk op, just don't transition like I did. Six years into transition and I still I have that yerning to be a woman because I know deep down inside that despite all the surgeries and hormones i'll never be a girl. The hormones only made me more emotional over it and I kinda hate women now because im so jealous of them.
>>6171786
Yeah, I know that I'll never be a real woman... Really puts a damper on the whole surgery thing. Even if I could become a cute femboy.
>>6146898
do what i did and litterally man up,
find yourself a man/woman who loves the way you look and let their love partly fill that hole inside of you it helps
>>6171640
It's a meme.
I think it stems from the kind of porn pre-transition trans women watch.
IMO, my taste in porn doesn't explain my transition, but my transition def explains my taste in porn.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ps0UodUr_pM
>tfw when your repression powers back up and you feel your masculine power come back
save me oh mighty T
OP remember that feeling you got when you turned 13 that 10 year olds were little kids and you were clearly a mature teenager as smart as any adult? You're still a child at 18, and there are lots of people here with more experience than you. You might not hear me now, but your 25 year old self will certainly consider yourself at 18 foolish in many ways. The earlier you understand this the better.
>>6178030
Wait are you telling me to become a tranny or not?
>>6182089
become a tranny
>>6146898
i don't think you need to stop or keep wanting to be a girl. i think what you really need right now is self-actualization
>>6182089
I'm telling you that you need to do serious soul searching. Question everything. Don't be afraid of what conclusions you may come to. You have to leave everything on the table including things that go against what you consider to be your values. I believe in you.
>>6171786
Wow this is horrible. Alot of transwomen feel better on HRT since they become more like a girl. I hope you can find peace being a transwoman.
On the otherhand the dysphoria doesn't go away if you don't transistion.
How often does transistion fail to reduce dysphoria?
>>6182942
Thanks, I'll try my best to figure out what the hell is going on.
