>>6115815
Map: https://www.zeemaps.com/map?group=1764048

Hi

I've been with my bf for 2 years but everytime we have sex or do sexual stuff I need to imagine secnarios in my head in order to get off - it never involves myself but involves other guys.

He does turn me on and makes me get erections but I don't get anything from blowjobs, a feeling or whatever and I sometimes lose my erection as I might get distracted.

I have no idea what to do and don't know if im asexual - it's ruining my mental health as I always think about this and it's causing me concern :( Any advice guys would be appreciated

>>6117211
Maybe you guys just aren't compatible? Or maybe you're actually a voyeur?

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Did anyone else find the admission of being Ace/Demi/Grey infinityly empowering? I might be drunk, but being able to declare finally that I don't want sex (though not coming out, because explaining terminology is BS amirite?) and just want to rock out feels so, so freeing.

>>6118754
Not really.
I only find it comforting when someone actually accepts that I'm ace. Most of the time I just have to give them other answers such as "I don't anyone right now" or "Sorry, I'm gay." because I'll just get the usual talk about how I just have to meet the right person or questions about if I was raped or if my hormones are okay.
It's only nice when you can say the thing and no one bats an eye at it.

>>6118818
That's fair.
In retrospect it's an unfair question, in part because I've some support from people I legit came out to and part because I'm riding high out of depression at the mo.
I hope life gets better anon.

thoughts on demisexuals? I personally believe they're not ace at all since many people develop sexual attraction only after having a bond.

>>6118904
As one, they're not 'ace', but where else are they going to go since they're in a situation only comparable to aces. Like, I've only been into like three people in my whole life.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to tread on you guys, but I've more in common with you than sexual people.

>>6118925
>Like, I've only been into like three people in my whole life.
That's actually really common.

And when I meant ace, I meant "within the ace spectrum". Demis just seem to be in their little island that doesn't really belong in the ace spectrum. They don't occasionally have sexual attraction like greys and they don't have lack of sexual attraction like aces.

It's this thing that's based on a variable that sounds more of a sexual preference like if someone said "I only feel sexual attraction if it has rained for three days straight" or "I only feel sexual attraction if x=2."

>>6118966
It's enough to make the distinction, and I do notice the difference.
If we're getting real technical, I'd say they're just a breed of grey or maybe I use demi as too loosely, since it's not a direct love/intense relationship=attraction to me in all but one case. For me it's a numbness that my friends don't seem to understand. I can appriciate how someone looks on an aesthetic level, but if the question of sex arises, I'll be thinking along the lines of 'only if I have to' or 'if it means we get along better' etc etc that really seems to pretty much unnerve my peers.

The distinction between Demi and Grey for me is of limited use, but perhaps you're looking to discuss this with a more fixed for sure Demi.

Does anyone have one of those black ace rings? Do they even work?

>>6118997
I really like reading this particular post interpreting greys as in aliens.

>>6119102
Life would be more entertaining if greys were aliens.

>>6119102
Whatever makes you happy anon. I'm here to entertain. Why else would I go to 4chan with my gripes and woes?

>>6119120
to shitpost?

>>6119126
You read me so well anon!

>>6119120
I didn't mean to offend, it's just a hobby of mine.

>>6115815
ANON I WAS SO PREPPED TO MAKE THE NEW THREAD AND THEN I WAS BUSY FOR THE ONE TIME IN MY LIFE

>>6118997
Good way of putting it. This is very accurate to my general conversations as an ace, and I understand demis relating there.

There's a lot of sexual culture that people down on the farther end of the asexual to sexual scale have a hard time with.

Sure, some sexuals have the same issues as us, with their low sex drives. And they're also going to be frustrated with their more sexual peers.

That doesn't mean it's not a thing that aces deal with.

>>6118904
I so wish they weren't under the ace "umbrella" (as it's now become thanks to tumblr taking over so straight people can gain oppression points) because they're confusing the fuck out of people as to what an asexual person even is.

If they did something like use it as a prefix, such as demi-homosexual, I'd have no problem with that. Since there's so many more demis than aces though, they're actively participating in the erasure of actual asexuals.

>>6119513
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ happens

>>6120607
>If they did something like use it as a prefix, such as demi-homosexual, I'd have no problem with that
Some do, actually.

>>6118904
I feel as though everyone should just say their Kinsley scale number. That would be so easier if everyone was 1-10 or X instead of all these words and branches.

>>6118904
At the end of the day, so long as their conditions are met they are still capable of sexual attraction. I think it's incredibly cruel that they've inserted themselves into asexuality.

It's almost like a form of virtue signalling. Like those kids that go out protesting and harassing people saying "you don't know how bad my life is!" before they fuck off back home to their mansion at night.

>>6122624
But then how could you feel special if you didn't have a specific, detailed word about your sexuality? How is someone supposed to be able to feel special with just a number?

>Asexuality
Because made up genders aren't enough let's be special snow flakes and pretend we don't like sex instead of being sexually repressed.

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>>6124285
Could you at least give some interesting debate than repeat stuff we already heard before? You might actually change some minds if you do.

>>6124161
I haven't heard demis saying they have it harder than aces

>>6124663
They pretend to be on the same level as asexual people by having pushed in under the "umbrella". But when you get down to it, they're not really all that different from people who do feel attraction.

>>6124285
asexuals were there trying to be special way before this variety of genders did.

>>6124782
I think it makes sense if we're discussing the spectrum between asexual and sexual. I'd lump demis in with grey-aces and I doubt that they'd object.

It can be a welcome comfort after believing something is wrong with you because you don't like porn and aren't attracted to any random people.

I know that as ace I felt kind of weird growing up and being a constant witness to my friends lusting after people and their various romantic exploits.

I'd understand if demis also had to grapple with that awkwardness, especially before their first time getting close to someone and actually being romantic.

If I was demi, I could see it be a thing I would use to explain to a partner if they didn't understand why I wasn't attracted to them. It probably wouldn't be a definitive part of my identity just helpful information.

I agree with this anon >>6120607
That it'd make sense as a prefix.

I do hate the root they used though. "Half"? Why?

>>6124920
>I do hate the root they used though. "Half"? Why?

Just remember that the word originated from some girl on Livejournal who wanted to make her high school vampires OCs even more special for her RP group.

>>6115815
>Friendly reminder that you can hide the thread by clicking the little minus sign to the left, or by filtering "/acegen/" through 4chan's settings (top right). For those of you who continue to insist that we do not belong here

Saw this on front page. Stay classy LGBTards.

>>6126700
Holy kek is that true? Evidence? Reminds me of free bleeding.

>>6126744
I like legbutts better. Maybe lg/b/tards?

>>6128687
No, that sounds more like lgbt folk who use /b/.

>>6115815
So, I am not asexual, and I have to say until recently I was always mystified by asexuality. Not that this is a bad thing or makes asexual people any less real, just I had trouble wrapping my mind around it. Then I took biology and we were studying mating behaviors and regulatory genes. So there is apparently a regulatory gene in fruit flies that triggers the mating ritual. Without this gene they experience no urge to mate what-so-ever. Not only that, but if you take that same regulatory gene (called "Fruitless" because biologists love puns) and put the male version of it in to a female fly, the female fly then courts and mates with other females. I.E. The gene when absent made the flies asexual, and when paired with the genetic code for the same sex produced homosexuality.

So, welcome to the LGBT community from a science nerd.

>>6130451
P.S. could also argue that the flys with the transplanted genetic code are trans... but I don't know how much flys experience gender with a lack of a prefrontal cortex.

>>6127923
http://birdsy-purplefishes.tumblr.com/post/47006019498/factual-wriley-i-dont-want-to-show-my-stupid

Sadly, the original blog it came from is gone. But you can see people were talking about it at one point. The creator of the term said they regretted it as well.

>>6132739
Found an archive: http://archive.is/W4XRl

Bit different. The person regretted mentioning it after it died the first time.

>>6118754
Absolutely. It's the ability to look someone in the eye and tell them "you have nothing I want."

>>6130451
The issue is that we have a far more complex genome (at some 3200 mega-basepairs versus the fruit fly's 175 mega-basepairs) as well as a far more complicated brain. People have been searching for a gene that can cause homosexuality and thus far haven't yet found one. That isn't to say that one exists, but discovering it (or a set of genes responsible for sexual orientation) is proving an incredibly difficult task.

There may be a (set of) gene(s) that can cause non-hetero sexualities, but there is also a possibility (one that I believe is being actively researched) that hormonal influences in the womb or something can influence it as well. Again, we're vastly more complex than fruit flies. Put simply and so as to acknowledge that, yes, we are (all of us non-heterosexual, non-cis folk) all clearly suffering from some sort of mental disorder (considering the fact that heterosexuality is, clearly, the norm), due to our complexity there is a whole lot of shit that can go awry during our development.

Welcome to /acegen/ from another science nerd.
(Though I will admit, I only have a minor interest in biology. More interested in physics and in space)

Is it legal to artificially inseminate your wife with your own sperm? Will doctors go along with it even if it is legal? How expensive would it be?

>>6133484
I enjoyed this.

>>6136551
How would they know? I'm assuming you mean turkey-baster method.

>>6136551
OH. I just put the puzzle pieces together.

Do you mean surgically putting the sperm directly into the egg?

I don't know much about that. I figure I'd hear more about it in the context of couples having trouble conceiving.

If you're just trying to avoid sex, why not turkey baster?

Is your wife the ace or you?

>>6127923
>free bleeding
Is that like activated almonds or vaginal steaming?

>>6138987
It's a fake thing. A meme. Letting your period go without tampons or pads.
I doubt anyone was legitimately tricked into it, but people pretended to be.
Trolls trolling trolls.

>>6139242
I mean, that sounds like a very real thing. Just a bad idea. How was it fake? Was it actually first recommended by trolls to see if anyone would take it seriously?

>>6139735
If I recall correctly, yes. Kind of like the "Photoshop fat women skinny in order to ~*inspire health!*~" thing
Most cultures have procedures to deal with periods, usually rags or the like. Otherwise it gets everywhere. Everywhere!

Ravioli ravioli give me the bumpioli

>>6136760

I'm not married. I've never even been in a relationship before.

I was just wondering if there were alternatives for two asexual partners that still want kids.

>turkey baster

I wasn't aware this was a thing, but I'd be scared of fucking it up somehow.

>>6145238
Oh, cmon, the surgery is even more invasive than a penis.
Who would go through all that trouble?

>>6130451
this is dope.

>>6133484
>>6133484
I believe what you said about hormonal influence in the womb making people either non-cis or non-hetero. Both lesbians and trans men tend towards having a longer ring finger than an index finger. For trans women and gay men it's the exact opposite; their index fingers are longer. It's thought to have something to do with how much testosterone a fetus receives in utero, while it's brain is still coding in things like gender identity and sexuality.

I think it's all probably the same phenomenon, and our individual brains interpret it in various ways. I think there is a link between being trans and non straight. A very high percentage of ace people are also trans. I'm a cis woman and asexual, my index and ring fingers are exactly equal in length. I met gender queer demisexual person who had similar fingers to me once. They were female and had bottom disphoria but not top. I don't have any disphoria, but my genitalia is completely non erogenous.

>>6130451
Huh, I did not know that...
Interesting.

Bump
I have nothing to add so I guess I'll keep bumping

>>6118754
Have you spoken to your doctor about not wanting sex? Unlike what Tumblr would have you believe, you may have a hormonal issue.

>>6158593
I haven't heard anyone in these threads have a doctor really help.
I remember one guy who did extensive testing and all of his hormone levels are completely normal.

I can't afford all the tests and my doctors keep waving it off anyway.

>>6159217
I doubt your doctors keep "waving off" a serious symptom. Please get your bloodwork done.

>>6160700
I can't afford the blood work. They're waving it off because I have some other health problems they're prioritizing and I can't afford to go to them regularly anyway.
I'm also female and it's considered less important for girls.