Straight guy here, to some extent...
I had an accidentally gay experience when I was younger, it involved my best friend and it ended when he moved away. When looking back I have to say it has helped me tremendously throughout my youth.
I saw guys in my class just getting owned on a daily basis, getting weighed down by stuff that doesn't even matter. Barely even being able to speak to girls or boys. Just completely uncomfortable about beins straight and a guy.
I remember the exact moment I first popped a boner for a girl in class when I was 14, I was so relieved. I was like "Shit, I like girls, this is awesome!".
On the other hand, I know what being a guy really is about. I know what they're like when they're not trying to be tough for their peers. A guy can't make me uncomfortable by laying a hand on me. I've done som truly gay shit, there was this guy who though he could make me his bitch by touching my face when he talked to me, long story short: It didn't work at all. We actually ended up being great friends.
This gay stuff, god damn it, everybody should do it!
Hmmph
okay
>>6099357
as limited in scope and perspective as this monologue is, i actually understand what you're saying and i think it's a useful model for coping with the insecurity issues plaguing the so-called 'cult of manhood.' good on you, op
>>6099357
You don't sound very straight, holmes
>>6099420
Thank you, have you had a similar experience?
>>6099447
It was so far back in the past we had no concept of sexuality yet.
I think I might understand what you mean. As a teen you start to know what it feels like personally to be a male, but once you've known another male intimately in the carnal sense, the general concept of masculinity has a little less tension/mystery to it.
>On the other hand, I know what being a guy really is about. I know what they're like when they're not trying to be tough for their peers
It's kinda like when people say 'everybody poops'. Every guy looks dumb when they cum.
>>6099357
Sounds like my story, except I was the one who did the gay stuff with my friend before I moved away.
Happened in Cali, his name was Christian. Wasn't really "accidental" though more so curiosity on my part.
Started with flashing each other our dicks in his pool after looking at straight and gay porn at my place, and ended with me putting his dick in my mouth.
Was I think 10 at the time, he was around 8 I believe? His name was Christian. Shame I had to move though, felt shitty not keeping in contact but was a bit too embarrassed due to his grandma.
>>6099633
Yeah, but there is a difference between truth felt and truth known. There are guys out there who are truly terefied of walking up to a girl and introducing themselves, even in a bar where people go to be social on a saturday night. It's not gonna work to tell them "Dude, she poops man. She is a person who lets out long stale obnoxious taco-shits. We're talking logs that would make pornstars blush. You woulnd't believe the music she makes, it's an orchestra of wet sharting sounds tearing up her asshole, you just lean back and listen and you know that toilet looks all kinds of fucked up, just ran down with shitstains all over, blown the fuck everywhere except from in the fucking water" He knows that, some even try to tell themselves that.
I don't think, I feel, I did gay shit in the past. That was way worse, having some mainstream vanilla sex with this chick, I mean seriously, thats nothing. It's not edgy, it's not frowned upon. Everyone is expecting it. It's no surprize. And it isn't tight and painful like anal with no lube. This is a wet cunt, I'm gonna slide in like it is nothing. She doens't have my kind of body, she has tits and long hair, even though my friend actually had long hair because he was trying to be a skater. And not every guy looks dumb when they cum, but the best faces are honest faces.
>>6099657
That has got to be some common thing, maybe not everyone goes all the way, but everyone I know showed their dicks off to each other at one point of growing up.
>>6099706
this
>>6099706
Times have changed. People now don't necessarily go out to be social with people they don't know but with their group of friends. Especially women have grown tired of being hit on every time they go out to just hang with their friends. So no wonder many guys are afraid of doing that.
>>6099761
Nah, I'm gonna tell you why they are afraid. Because they go out to a public place, and see someone who they think is a good catch. Maybe they see some tan, blonde girl with big tits and tight clothes who wears a lot of make-up and really doesn't look like that at all five o'clock in the morning. And they look at that and say "Wow, that is so perfect and there is no concievable way that she would ever want someone like me, because I'm not the type and I don't have the lifestyle and everything else superficial... and so and so"
I sometimes do that myself, but very often, especially when high or drunk, I think "Yeah, I'm straight enough for some of that!" You know, and I smile and I just keep on looking and they smile back. And people always look busy in a club, but even if you're gay or straight, go to your club and look at the people just sitting there looking. Count them! You'll find many people who are just sitting there, talking with their friends to not look alone, hoping someone will make the first move. I dare you, go out do this tomorrow. You don't have to talk to anybody if you don't feel it, just count.
>>6099842
>Maybe they see some tan, blonde girl with big tits and tight clothes who wears a lot of make-up and really doesn't look like that at all five o'clock in the morning
And that right there is comming from the fact that in my past I was with a boy, and he had no make-up, what I see is what I get. Then I get a girlfriend and we start kissing and her make up comes off and more and more acne appears. Girls aren't tougher than boys, believe me, they're not as tough as they would like us to believe. They're partly a big fat lie and they don't even believe themselves. If you realize that you can get way out of your league chicks, but you have to feel it. They're scared of the cock, that is what you have going on when you see a normal girl hand in hand with a lesbian trying her best to look like a boy.
>>6099842
I've observed club goes for more than 10 years now. I've seen just about anything there is to be seen.
Looks, a good sense of style, being fit, having good body language. These are at the top of what counts if you want to do what you are saying.
Maybe you have all of that and you are using some anecdotal evidence to find other reasons, without really examining what is going on.
The people that sit around and talk with friends can be the sort of people you talk about, but I've many times seen people disregard others because they don't want to be approached and just wanted to go out, dance and have a good time with their friends without meeting new people.
Confidence without the means to back it up will only get you so far.
>>6099883
Well, you may be right, I don't think I'm a bad looking dude.
You're actually giving me the same reaction for talking about being straight on /lgbt/ that I get for talking about going gay on /r9k/. A bunch of people moaning that I'm so pretty and they're not, so there is no need to look into it because it is all pre-determined by factors out of their control. I don't know what more I can say but thanks.
But how do you cognitively defend thinking like that to yourself, I mean forget reasoning with me. You're basicly giving away control by limiting your thinking. I never went full gay, I never tried to do anything. I just took what I was dealt and did something creative about it, and a bunch of people wants to box that in, for some wierd reason. I kept all my options open, I can guarantee I will never do it again.
If you just read what you've typed yourself, you're completing your own arguement. Bottomline is that you're not a mind reader of anyone elses but your own mind. When you see someone start a conversation and the other person tensing up, I mean that could literally be anything, especially with girls, they hardly even wear clothes. Hey, here is an idea, perhaps the other person is concentrating because the music is really loud? And sure, people like you talk about do happen to be outside of their house as well, but I've never experienced someone being mean that I couldn't tell was an unhealthy person mentally. The times you've been rejected by mentally unstable people, did you really not see it comming from a mile away after a short second of interaction?
>>6099957
I don't give a rats what your orientation is. Bottom line, attractive people will have a easier time, regardless if they are gay, straight or bi. Attractive people are treated nicer, get more offers in all aspects of life, and people want attractive people to like them, to validate them.
I don't have a problem approaching people, I don't fear rejection because I've known since I was small that no one will ever look at me and desire me. I'm not going to be someone's taste or the prize to be won. That takes the edge of any social interaction.
What I can do and most of the times what happens is I will get people to pour out stuff they never have told anyone. But then they will leave.
If I had beauty or even just slight over averageness I could probably turn someone's engine. But you take life as it is, not how you wished it could be.
>>6100040
This is childish banter. Who do you think you are? Do you think you're the only one in life who's ever had an issue?
>Wrararwrah! I don't care about your orientation, you're getting all of this because you're attractive.
That is the easiest self-serving bias to have considering most of that is in your eye. Everybody who gets the house outside knows some dude who is gross and fucking ugly who has a dime gf. Or a fat ugly girl with a lousy attitude who has a bf who is waaay to good for her. And we all had that talk with our friend who is head over heels for someone and show you their pic on facebook and internally going "This poor chump is blowing all of this way out of preportion".
>I was born in rejection, molded by it!
Oooh the edge.
Fuck you and your psycho bullshit. You know, if you really were that bad off you wouldn't even allow yourself to go there because you would know you might never get up.
I don't know about people getting their entire body burnt or something that dramatical, I only know about people getting their hearts broken and getting a severe drug addiction, complete with living on the street and sitting in a corner pissing themselves. I have several friends who have done this. They lost some of their teeth, one guy got his eye taken out because he owed someone money. People in this situation who allows themselves to think like that die. That just happens, they burrow money for drugs and OD.
We have really pathetic problems, there are people who have one-itis for ten years. And it isn't wrong to feel that way, but don't pretend it is getting you any closer to anything you want. You're just overloading your brain with worries, saying stuff like "that" will never happen.
>>6100040
Here is a simple test:
Say, you want to stop your candy addiction, porn addiction, or somekind of addiction. Tell yourself: I will NEVER EVER eat candy, watch porn, or take drugs for as long as I live. Given that you're actually abusing one of these things.
Then, try saying: Hey, don't worry, I'm gonna have candy, I'm gonna take fap, I'm gonna have all that, it's going nowhere! It will be mine! No worries, but not now. Later. Later.
You're stressing yourself out, your brain is probably packed to the brim with kortisol.
>>6100502
You were the one that kept repeating how you are straight. I only clarified that it doesn't matter your argument doesn't change the fact that this is your anecdote. Your story. I have mine. If they clash it isn't necessarily so that one is true and the other is not.
It's not just in my eye. People have come up to me and told me I am ugly. I have been refused entrance into clubs for being too ugly. The opposite has not happened. It's not a right or wrong. I don't doubt you are attractive or handsome but I easily could, I don't put it all on your attitude but I easily could. We are not born equal on this earth. Neither in stature, looks or experience.
You could point towards all your examples and that would be each of those individuals story. Just as there are stories of the opposite.
These are not worries. They are experience and observations. Mine in this regard. There is no reason to read into them more than the information that is given and there is no reason to interpret them otherwise. If I place myself into your shoes, then yes I do see your point of view. I do see how this your story, but there is no applicable universal truth. What worked for you, worked for you. What didn't work for you didn't. Someone could attempt to emulate and get the same results or not. Both are equally true. But there is no one truth. One right way.
>>6100520
My cortisol levels are normal. I often have them measured. I also have no trouble quitting things like porn or candy drugs or alcohol. This has never been an issue for me.
>>6100615
No dude, we are our anecdotes. Yeah, it doesn't weigh high if you want an objective representation of how a selection of billions of people act. But for you it is everything.
Your life story is pretty much your entire identity. Yeah sure, to some extent you can say biology is destiny, but how you review and make sense of your life is what connects the dots.
I have a way better point of reference than striaght people. Because they don't even know what it means to be male. They have to look at James Bond, or some other role model with no dignity what so ever. I just look at my intimacy with my best friend, and I think that is a way better representation of masculinity than found in any popular culture, or even my own father.
>>6100615
You know what, I've had a change of heart, I went back and read your posts again, thought about it, and I have to say:
I agree with you on absolutetly everything.
Today you did a great thing, you convinced me over the internet. I hope you feel accomplished!
I think you've found a way of life that is really productive! Just be you and do your thing. It's gonna be great!
When it comes to being a guy I don't buy into the masculine myth at all. I think that is a bait. I think todays masculine image is actually the warrior. Because the politicians wants their warriors to go fight their wars.
Yaoi is actually way closer to portraying real masculinity than any of the mainstream portrayals of a mans man. Hachiman from Oregairu, Saika from Oregairu, Izumi and Ryoma from Love Stage. I've met guys like that, I've never met someone like James Bond, it doesn't exist.
Great effort OP, but unless you're thinking of transitioning nobody really cares. This is a board for transexuals.
