Bi-male here dating a female. How do i keep it a secret that i like guys too? Or should i tell her.
>dating my ex-bf's ladyfriend
they find it hot, just go for it
Unless you live in a third world closed-minded shithole (i.e. the USA)
>>6092298
Might I add that I'm literally trapmode, so even if you're femme-ish it's not too much of a problem
>>6092304
I'm not feminine at all but i have dated two guys before her
>>6092296
Either she is a freak and thinks it's hot, says she doesn't mind and thinks it's pretty cool but is actually uneasy on the inside, or no longer respects you as a man.
>>6092311
Oh.
Idk then. Like, one thing that has come across more than once for me is that they find the idea of the person who fucks them being girly and being fucked arousing. Maybe it's a subconscious 'revenge' thing or something. Or it's just weird enough to be hot.
>>6092397
How does it feel to be so insecure and bitter, babe?
>>6092465
You are the one proclaiming that all european women love men who take it up the ass. Sounds like a pretty cucked society
>>6092296
about 5 or so years ago, I told this girl that I was bi (she supposedly was too) and she cried, got mad at me and didn't talk to me until last year.
Another girl I was close to still has a grudge against me and whenever someone starts drama on fb towards me, she likes all their comments and ignores mine. I haven't spoken to her since 2008.
>>6092477
Not him, I live in europe. Women will think you can be their handbag but they would never really date you if they found out you were bi.
I know how you feel mate, unfortunately the girl that I was dating for 6 years left me after I told her. But it's not all bad, it's her loss if you ask me I did my best and I was honest best of all i was honest me myself.
>>6092477
>using cuck unironically
Ah, the plights of the frustrated male. How much does that aching to have someone 'for yourself' while also being completely alone hurts?
>>6092296
Do not tell her, she might take it the wrong way and get grossed out by it. They'll also probably say you're not really bi unless you have fucked guys.
t. had that happen to me ;.;
>>6092296
[spoiler](don't kiss her while your cum is in her mouth)[/spoiler]
You're in a relationship, maybe telling her you like other people is not a good idea. At all. But you're the one who should know how she'd react to that, right? I mean, you're dating her. Search your feelings.
>>6092296
dont say you like guys
the end
not so hard
>>6092527
Its funny how terribly off your analysis of me is. Its gotten to the point where anyone who thinks europeans are being a bunch of cucks are "lonely desperate males" instead of successful people concerned about all the degeneracy going on around them, oh which I am the later
I think admitting to be bi makes you look like a bitch. Women don't want to date bitches, they want a tough manly man.
Even if they claim to be "okay" with it, deep down they know you're a cock-sucking sissy boy and will hold it against you the day they need a reason to break up with you.
>>6092296
Assuming a monogamous relationship here, you're dating her so your bisexuality is sort of a non-factor. If you "cheat" then I wouldn't think the plumbing of your partner should matter all that much either since the infidelity is the offense.
If you want to tell her, tell her. If she asks, don't lie. If you don't want to tell her and the topic doesn't come up, it's quite literally irrelevant and you should feel free to keep it to yourself.
>>6092296
>How do i keep it a secret that i like guys too?
how is that difficult
the only situation i can imagine where it might come out is
a) if you leave porn on your computer, in which case just stream it in incognito mode
b) your friends tell her, in which case you're out of the closet and so trying to keep it secret would be dumb
but desu you could just tell her. just casually mention you're bi. do not under any circumstance treat it like a massive revelation big deal type thing, because then she'll think you're actually gay but lack the courage to tell her
There is literally no reason to tell her. She'll probably think you're letting her know, because you have a side guy.
Plus she will also think of you as a gay man. That's the problem with bisexuals, straight women will always think of you as a gay male, and become your fag hag. And gay men will treat you like a straight infiltrator
>>6092296
Propose anal and see how she takes it
[spoiler]pun intended[/spoiler]
Show her the beauty of yaoi
>>6092296
try to contain your slutty bi instincts and don't bang some dude
>>6092811
Why are you posting here?
>>6092296
Use the farce OP
>>6092397
>>6092477
And you know this HOW exactly?
Aren't you just some limp-wristed faggot?
>>6093033
...what if they're both ok with it?
I'm sure there'll be quite a lot of girls out there who legitimately don't mind that much or at least don't make it a deal-breaker.
And still this wouldn't change how disloyal and unfaithful it would be to not tell her.
>>6093058
Sometimes hiding it could be incredibly destructive...
I'm bi but it would feel like I'd be living a lie by not telling a future partner about that part of my life.
To some it may be a bigger deal but I like to think it's not too big for most.
Whether that's true... I don't know, but it's a part of me which I hate about myself.
>>6093092
Being the dumb cunt I am, I've already told a few friends when it came up during conversation, so it's not really something I can or want to hide.
I'd just rather be with someone legitimately accepting and understanding with that part of myself than keep it as a burden to myself with someone who isn't comfortable at all...
I just feel that is not just a "secret" I feel you should ever keep from someone who loves you in that way.
>>6093115
Well, are you seme or uke?
>>6093190
Seme, not into uke shit at all
>>6093203
Then you'll be alright, show her love stage! and then just say "Story of my life man!"
>>6093318
??? wat
>>6093336
DUDE!
Show her this shit, then say "Bitch! Do you see this shit! This is that good yaoi shit! STORY OF MY LIFE! I was like this in my youth, I fucked my best friend in the ass. Not because I'm gay, not because I wanted to, but because it just fucking happened. BITCH BE COOL! BE COOL BITCH! YOU COOL??? Yeah, I'm a seme, don't judge, you don't know me man!
Make her watch Anon!
MAKE HER WAAAAATCH!
>>6093368
You're a
F U N N Y G U Y
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shit... he's right dude. You need to turn your weakness into an asset if it is ever gonna last.
>>6093431
Who's right about what and why?
He shouldn't have to keep it to himself if it's destructive to keep it to himself. It's pretty disloyal not to tell the person who loves you that much.
>>6092296
Tell her you're a Christian and keep the secret forever.
If she's a liberal, well she's probably bi/a whore anyway.
>>6093465
crazy yaoi anon is right.
If she isn't into this and finds out, she is gonna picture OP with heairy bearded daddy goes, just breeding his ass raw. That is OP's main problem, second problem is being dishonest in the relationship, not a great fundament for long-term. So, you know, if he can replace that mental image with something she might facy, he would be in a lot better standing. Call it a phase or whatever, but make damn sure she him topping effeminate hairless hentai boys, just pounding away like a spartan soldier come home from war. Would put him in an infinite better position. This is psychology one on one.
>>6093546
sorry, my english not so good
>>6093546
uhh, what?
you sound like you're samefagging to project your insecurities or some shit man.
>>6093584
woah wow, don't associate me with that travesty!
>>6093427
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43iXPpH6GM0
You see now you idiot!
This is the only way
>>6092296
Why do you need to? I don't see a reason for you to tell her.
>>6092397
>>6092477
>>6092811
>I am a closed-minded mouthbreather who shitposts /lgbt/ in my spare time as I am unable to control my impotent rage
>My opinion about how every bi guy must be denied by every d-ddecent girl is right b-bbecause i-I say so!!1!
K E K
>>successful people concerned about all the degeneracy going on around them
Yes, because being a girl who doesn't make a dude being bisexual a deal-breaker in a relationship is total degeneracy.
Fuck off to >>>/pol/ you mouthbreather, no one here or the majority of society for that matter cares about your pathetic superiority complex, little man.
Why do bisexuals need to tell everyone they're bisexual? If you're dating a girl there's no reason she needs to know you like dick and if you're dating a guy there's no reason he needs to know you like vagina. Unlike monosexuals your sexuality completely irrelevant to whom you're fucking. The only reason you'd need to tell them would be if you're not satisfied with the person you've chosen to be in a relationship with because of your depraved urge to fuck everything.
>>6093865
If you go on to have a long-term relationship with a woman and end up marrying her, wouldn't it feel unfaithful and disloyal not to tell her the truth about your sexual orientation?
I mean, even if she's OK with you being bisexual, would she still not be upset that you kept such a secret from her in the first place?
>>6093893
If you plan on being with one person for the rest of your life then it's not relevant, you can tell her but that'd be like telling her you and your bunkmate touched dicks at camp, it's true and private but doesn't have anything to do with your relationship with her. I mean a bisexual would have to make it all the way through an engagement and wedding and that's never happened in the history of the world so this is hypothetical ofc.
>>6093913
>I mean a bisexual would have to make it all the way through an engagement and wedding and that's never happened in the history of the world so this is hypothetical ofc.
Someone sounds salty that they're a limp-wristed faggot.
Is it that you think all bisexuals are non-monogamous promiscuous dogs who want to fuck anything they see?
KEK, do you actually believe in this shitty stereotype for all bisexuals?
Anyway, I can safely say I do not fall under this stereotype, but thank you very much for your concern.
>>6092296
even better kill yourself
>>6094122
woah really edgy dude
>>6093992
>Is it that you think all bisexuals are non-monogamous promiscuous dogs who want to fuck anything they see?
Well they seem to think their bisexuality is a big deal to their partner and the only circumstance where it would objectively be a big deal is if they want to fuck other people. Just putting dots together m8
>>6093992
That was obvious sarcasm you autistic neanderthal. Jesus christ
>>6094156
"Putting the dots together" to a useless retarded stereotype which hardly any of us are?
Yeah, real intelligent dude.
A lot of us don't think it's a big deal to ourselves, but to the majority of straights it's pretty much downright unfaithful and disloyal not to tell the truth about your sexual orientation.
>>6094184
>hardly any of us are
>Speaks as ambassador of all bisexuals
>refute a stereotype by stereotyping others
Bisexual "people" everyone
>>6094122
I'm not..,WORTHY ENOUGH TO KILL ME
>>6093865
I don't tell people usually and when i do tell them they act extremely surprised for some reason.
>>6094202
>>refute a stereotype by stereotyping others
Yes, because saying that not all black people are criminals is bad.
Your logic is fundamentally flawed and you are grasping at straws. :^)
>>Bisexual "people" everyone
>Literal feces eating evolutionary dead-end homosexual trying to call someone else as a lesser human being
You're a
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>>6092296
I'm bi, I'm engaged to a straight female, she knows I'm bi.
Then one day we were drinking and she literally said "Bi people don't exist, I think they're just confused straight people or haven't totally accepted that they're gay yet".
No idea what kind of response she was expecting, so I just kind of laughed it off with an "ok hun". Now I'm not sure which one she thinks I am though. On one hand, you think if she's still with me she assumes I'm a confused straight guy, but then the other day our room mate was telling us about two of his coworkers who are gay and were both previously married to women and she looked a little uncomfortable.
>>6098381
I'm a bi guy too.
Just curious, when did you tell her and how did she react?
>>6098381
Worse is, I was actually planning on keeping it secret but she was using my computer one day when I wasn't home and found my xhamster profile with a bunch of my crossdressing photos in my web history. No way to deny it was me either, so the cat was kind of out of the bag.
All the trouble of keeping my photos / videos of me in lingerie and with dildos in my ass hidden in a truecrypt archive just to be outed by my web history. Fuck me.
>>6098389
>>6098392
So, as I stated in that post, she found the evidence on my computer and it kind of spiraled from there. She reacted really, really poorly at first, but mostly because the profile she found had a lot of flirty language that could have been interpreted as me looking for people to hook up with so it was mostly that which she reacted poorly too.
Once that smoothed over, a while later when we were having a good day and talking pretty openly about past relationships I actually just told her I was bi and had had sexual encounters with other men (including dating a trans for a while), and she acted a little surprised, but she did ultimately take it well. It hasn't caused any problems in our relationship so far, she's just EXTREMELY monogamous so she reacts pretty poorly to any indication that I might cheat with anyone of any gender, and now she has twice as many people to be "jealous" of.
This was probably like, a year to a year and a half into our relationship. A while later she suggested we try pegging, which was a nice addition to the sex life (doesn't quite scratch the whole itch, but definitely helps)
I'm still not sure if she actually believes I'm bi though, or if she thinks I'm a confused straight or in denial gay man.
![sticker,375x360[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/qMX5Ckw.png "sticker,375x360[1].png")
>>6092477
> trying to make an argument based on the concept of "cucking"
keep that shit a secret dude you dont want to seem like you came straight from tumblr bro
>>6098452
Kek, don't listen to that guy, he literally considers himself a well adjusted member of society "concerned about all the degeneracy going on around them" unlike us FILTHY degenerates, yet he browses /lgbt/ in his spare time to quench his impotent rage.
>>6098484
>"you dont want to seem like you came straight from tumblr bro"
Why would it seem that he's from tumblr for being truthful to his partner about his sexual orientation?
It's not some sort of "false" sexuality, and straight women typically would see it as disloyal and unfaithful for their partners not to tell them the truth about their sexuality.
>>6098495
I guess it depends on how serious it is to you and your identity. If its just a minor thing then I can see how bringing it up would cause more trouble than its worth.
>>6098531
To me, it's not a massive thing at all and feel it shouldn't be. It doesn't define me or change who I would be to a future girlfriend.
I don't want to be hiding a massive lie about myself to her in the fear she would leave me, as well as what I said about it being socially unacceptable to not tell her the truth.
Being the dumb cunt I am, I told some of my friends during conversation so it's not like something I really could or want to hide now anyway.
But anyway, living a life as a lie sounds incredibly destructive regardless what she would think of me.
>>6098553
Its up to you to decide if its important enough to tell her. Its just that with bisexuals you get all kinds. Some just had a 1 time thing with a guy and moved on, some can't live without pipe in their holes, if you're the latter, then yeah its probably a big deal.
>>6098645
No, hardly the latter. I'm pretty repressed and feel like doing it with guys could make my situation worse.
As I said, it's not a big thing to me but it is to others, and feel I'd just be living a lie by not letting her know the truth about my sexuality.
It's a pretty shitty situation but honestly I'd rather live without lying to the person who would love me that much.
>>6092811
>i totally just browse /lgbt/ to tell anonymous people to fuck off, i'm totally not in the closet or anything
Whether you know it or not, people's gaydar probably goes off the charts when you enter a room hahahaha
>>6092296
I know that situation anon, it's fucked up. On the one hand girls are usually cool with someone being bi... On the other hand they will (and oh be fucking sure they will) tell people, if not right away then the day you two split. It's just a really juicy secret to them, like if you prevented a rape and couldn't tell anyone for some reason.
>>6092296
Bi guy here. I've had girls reject me for being bi. Its stupid. To me, if you are serious with the girl, you should tell her. See it as a test of the relationship. Otherwise, don't say shit. Don't tell a girl you are bi at least until you fuck her. Even if she is bi, she could judge you
>>6098665
I don't really feel like its lying though. Unless you plan on fucking dudes, I don't see the point. If thats the case you might as well tell her every time you look at another woman.
>>6098721
>>6098781
Pretty much both these things. If you have any intention of the relationship being serious, you should tell her. The way she reacts will provide important information on the long term viability of the relationship.
On the other hand, even if you're shooting for long term, tell her, she takes it well, and you guys break up in the future for any reason you can pretty much count on any shared contact you two ever had knowing in short order, unless it was a really respectful mutual breakup (the most rare kind).
My fiancee knows, but if our relationship ever falls apart our social circles are largely overlapped so I'll be completely outed as bi to basically everyone I know. Not that it's a really big deal and I'm super embarrassed or closeted about my sexuality, I just find that it's easier to not bring it up unless it becomes relevant or necessary. All your interactions with a person tend to become more complex when they know you're a "deviant". Only her and a couple of my closest old friends know I've had any sexual encounter other than purely straight.
>>6098809
I am the second poster you referenced.
There was a point when I was younger where I was ashamed to be bi. Then I came out a little to friends, but never to society as a whole. I had no problems. That was until it came to telling girls. The older I get, the more I am convinced there is little reason to dispel this shit to women. It's not doing you favors generally. On the otherhand, telling "straight" male friends, it may do you some favors ;)
>>6098809
I should also mention that a girl being liberal does not necessarily mean she's okay with it. My current girlfriend is basically an sjw and okay with it. However, one of my close friends is pretty conservative but had no problem dating a bi guy. I've also had liberal girls reject me for it.
>>6098806
Well yeah, it's not exactly "lying", but every straight woman still assumes their boyfriend is straight if they don't say anything about it.
To some girls I'm sure it can be a massive deal that you were not being truthful with them even though they don't make their boyfriends being bi a dealbreaker.
>>6098859
The way I see it, you're with her, everyone else is irrelevant. I just hate this sort of forced outing ritual we're expected to go through, its just one of those things that further alienates us I think. I don't like bringing shit up unless something needs to be done about it immediately, otherwise I just feel like I'm stirring things up for no reason.
>should I be honest with my partner?
lol bisexuals
>>6098893
Well yeah, I feel this way too, but it doesn't change how in a long-term relationship, I feel it's only acceptable that you're up-front with her and let her know as >>6098809 mentioned.
I just wish to not make it a big deal and make it as subtle as possible.
Hell, if she makes it a dealbreaker it aint my problem, why would I want to waste any more time with someone who would judge me on that in a relationship anyway?
>>6098926
Lol, it's just some of us are worried that some straight girls may judge us and make it a dealbreaker in a relationship.
A lot of us including myself are sure to be upfront with them if it's ever going to be anything lasting.
>>6098926
Its fair though, you really think girls are gonna confess to all the black cock they've gagged on? Fuck no.
>>6098977
I'm bi and it really isn't.
It's just something your partner deserves to know if you're ever in a serious long-term relationship with them when they love and trust you that much.
I believe it's socially unacceptable not to tell T B Q H, even if she may make it a dealbreaker who fucking cares why would you want to be with someone who judges you on that in a relationship anyway?
Don't waste anymore time on that bitch
>>6098969
>Well yeah, I feel this way too, but it doesn't change how in a long-term relationship, I feel it's only acceptable that you're up-front with her and let her know as >>6098809 mentioned.
I guess its just more trivial to me than it is to you. If I have to mention that, then it seems like I have to tell her about every little thing I've ever done in my entire life down to last detail, which is absurd, but maybe you're just more into guys than I am, I feel silly even thinking about mentioning it.
>>6098830
>On the otherhand, telling "straight" male friends, it may do you some favors ;)
Definitely considered this when I was single, but then I realized I don't really find any of my male friends that attractive. I guess I'm a picky faggot.
Additionally, I have a lot of stereotypically "masculine" interests and personality traits. Knowing how much people love drawing overly complex conclusions out of thin air, I've always kind of worried that if everyone knew I was bi people would be like "oh of course! that's why he compensates with all his manly man hobbies, to hide how big of a fag he is!". When really, I'm just doing the things I like to do while trying to keep my social life straight forward and low complexity.
>>6098926
Laugh it up, until you realize all the weird bias against bisexuals that exists. I met an MtF trans by chance one time (she made a big deal about coming out to me as MtF on our first date, in case I was freaked out by it), and we ended up dating for a few months. Everything was pretty great until I finally just told her I was bisexual. The whole tone changed after that for no discernible reason. Like I was the best thing to come around in years as long as she thought I was a straight guy who could ignore the cock between her legs, but bi? Ohhhh no honey, I only like straight men. It's no wonder this apprehension exists in a lot of bis.
>>6099008
It's trivial, but as I mentioned in the post that anon quoted, telling her is a great way to get good solid data on the way someone views, judges, and values you. Don't mention it because it's relevant to the relationship, mention it because it's a tool you can use to figure out if you SHOULD be in a relationship with that person before you invest too much time.
>>6092311
I wouldn't comment on it unless asked.
>>6099008
You don't HAVE to. No one's holding a gun to your head if you don't say it.
However, it's pretty much common sense that all straight girls assume their boyfriend is straight if they don't say anything.
Despite how it may feel telling her, regardless of the outcome I feel that it'll be better than living a lie which could be infinitely more destructive if you feel they could make it a dealbreaker in the relationship.
If you're in a monogamous relationship, you still loved HER and only her and no one else. In the end, it's her problem that she makes it a dealbreaker in a relationship.
I know, it sucks man, it's just the way it is and as I said, why would you want to waste anymore time on that bitch if she judges you like that.
>>6099026
>It's trivial, but as I mentioned in the post that anon quoted, telling her is a great way to get good solid data on the way someone views, judges, and values you. Don't mention it because it's relevant to the relationship, mention it because it's a tool you can use to figure out if you SHOULD be in a relationship with that person before you invest too much time
Now this I agree with. I do this sometimes just to see how people react, but only if its something that I value and refuse to compromise on, but my sexuality as a whole has never been something that I gave 2 fucks about, its just impulses to me.
>>6099064
I also view my sexuality as largely unimportant in the overall scheme of my identity, but there I do have one more argument in favor of telling your girlfriend you're bi.
If she thinks your straight, and later on in the relationship she finds some gay porn in your phone, on your computer, in your internet history, your posts on a faggot containment board like this, etc, she's GOING to over react, and if she doesn't confront you on it she's going to simmer and dwell over the possibility that maybe you're gay. "Oh my god, is my boyfriend gay? What do I do?" Better to just get it out there.
Speaking from personal experience here. One slip of the internet history and the result was months of insecurity about if I actually was attracted to her and enjoyed having sex with her. All because I kept it secret that I was a bislut.
>>6099075
You have a good point, but thats why I said earlier if its such a big deal to your daily life that you have to cover all kinds of shit up, then I can understand just being honest.
Robin Banks is a prime example of just having way too much shit to cover up (dildos, outfits, a tumblr dedicated to his cam whoring), of course he eventually snapped and came clean.
I gotta be honest though, I think I'd rather avoid serious relationships all together than have to be THAT honest with anyone, I give you guys props for trusting someone that much, cause I couldn't, especially not a woman.
>>6099129
I mean, Robin Banks was getting to the point where they had a lot of time invested, a lot of materials, and a huge internet fanbase. You can only keep that shit hidden for so long. All I had was a single xhamster profile with 40-50 pictures of me crossdressing / doing anal play and classic female snooping outed me.
Fortunately, it seems like my gf took it better than Robin Banks gf did.
>>6094184
>a useless retarded stereotype which hardly any of us are?
oh lawdy i'm laffin
>>6099363
Wow, I bet you're truly laughing your ass off, Anon.
Care to elaborate how all bisexuals are non-monogamous promiscuous dogs if you truly believe in this stereotype?
>>6094202
Is this bait or am I missing something here, Anon?
Your point is that he's refuting a stereotyping by "stereotyping" straights, using the stereotype that they care about their partner being truthful to them about an integral part of themselves?
And you're trying to say this is some sort of harmful "stereotype" or something to straights?
Uhhhhhh... Totally not grasping at straws, or anything.
>>6099363
>ahhaha ur post is so UTTERLY RIDICULOUS and i won't give a valid counter-arguement to add to the discussion so i'll just say it's funnie hahahaa
