Share your shitty dating experiences, or just general love life/sex life failures because of your LGBTness.
>get out of a shitty volatile relationship
>waited a year to even try again
>meet a really nice guy through a friend
>he's the first guy I've ever felt something for like that
>we hit it off
>get into a pretty solid relationship with him
>he's the nicest person I've ever been with
>move across the country 3 months in.
>we try to make it work
>we slowly fall out with eachother
>looked him up recently
>he has a girlfriend now.
fuck.
>>6091561
>implying any bi guy ever could get a girlfriend
>>6098166
I'm kind of surprised he did, I assumed he'd come out as gay eventually. Apparently not.
>>6098265
Did you know he was bi when you were with him?
She said I meant more to her than the world and we would always be together. Then she left me a week later and we never spoke again.
>>6091251
>spend months bumming around tindr and okc, try to make decent profiles, send messages out the wazoo, no replies
>finally one day chick replies, and keeps replying! woah! she wants to meet up and get coffee! holy crap!
>get nice, go out, talk to her for a few hours, walk around the city, feel like everything's going good
>out of nowhere she just suddenly loses the spark and seems extremely bored. I try to cheer her up but its not really having any effect. walk her back to her car and hug her and get a halfhearted "y-yeah" when I say we should hang out again
>never hear from her again
>back to no responses on dating apps
Welp, guess it's time to end everything.
from the coming-to-terms thread:
In an improv summer camp when I was like 15 I felt myself growing really attached to this one boy faster than I ever had before, I didn't really understand it. We ended up always pairing up our characters when we could, and one time we played a game where you secretly choose who else in the group you'll treat as either sexy, scary, or funny. We both chose each other as sexy and like furiously cuddled and laughed on the prop couch for the whole scene. I immediately new that a straight person wouldn't have enjoyed that as much as I did.
After over two years of fantasizing about him and dating him after that (seriously I have never had a crush that strong on any girl or boy,) I finally slept over at his house one time, where I learned he was straight.
Just fuck my shit up, senpaitachi
>>6098274
Sorta, I kind of made the assumption he was at least a little into dudes just by the way he acted around me.
>>6098301
Oh wait you're not a dude? Kind of made the assumption you were gay and he was bi...
So he cheated on you with another girl? That sucks.
>>6098274
Woa sorry misread that,
Yeah by the end of the relationship I did know, I wasn't really holding out hope he would be gay no reason for me to do that considering I'm not either. I just never thought he was all that into women by the way he acted / talked about guys when he was with me.
It was just a weird curve ball, kinda like finding out an ex girlfriend is pregnant or something.
I think I'm just a little bitter over him being the first guy I ever really thought about like that, and it ending like that.
>>6098328
Oh, that sucks. Hope your next one isn't another unfaithful bislut.
>>6098349
I thought they were both bi?
>>6098362
...oh
>>6098349
>I am also bisexual.
I think. I honestly don't know if that was just situational or not.
I've pretty much steered clear of guys because of that, so I have no idea.
>get cucked by ten guys in one month during the beginning of freshman year of high school
>never date again
this is me
>>6098404
that's hOT.
>>6091251
>dating girl
>come out as trans
>mfw suddenly not dating girl anymore
>>6098480
the reverse happened to me
>person i'm with comes out as mtf
>fully supportive of her
>she starts transitioning
>dumps me a month later out of nowhere
>>6098480
That's different because you shouldn't expect anything different. If you come out as gay your straight relationship is over too.
>>6091251
I've greentexted this before but fuck it it's been a while and it still haunts me
>dating qt tomboy lesbian gf during first year of uni
>thinking "ah she's a couple years older, mature, this is great"
>nah horribly jealous turns out
>wants me to move in NOW with her
>can't go to shitty college parties w/o her
>o-ok she's still nice tho
>have waitress/bartender job at swank fancy restaurant
>$50+ plates min, over booked reservations, server uniform is the nicest thing I own
>baller cash in tips and free meals w flexible hours so great for college student me
>jelly gf starts hanging around my work
>ok I guess during slow hours
>pls stop during busy hours
>bitching I should give her free drinks
>um nah
>a cocktail is like 10 bucks here just go somewhere else I like this job
>later fight over "YOU LIKE YOUR JOB MORE THAN ME WAH"
>she drops me off at work one day
>says she wants to hang around till I'm off
>"no it's a double shift and busy day go somewhere else for drinks. I'll cab home"
>she wants to start a fight but nope, gonna work bye
>half way through shift and I'm bartending AND waiting some tables
>some girl just quit so we're all picking up her slack
>full bar, 3 tables but I'm actually managing well
>got my bar laughing it up, tables are good, money is flowing into me
>SHE comes in
>beelines for my bar
>takes seat of guy that just got up for a second to piss or something
>noooooo
>asks for a drink just glaring at me
>just give her the drink, ask her to wait or leave
>nah
>"Is this what you do at your job? FLIRT WITH OLD MEN!"
>ARE YOU CHEATING iS YOUR SHIFT EVEN ON STILL
>nope fuck too loud people are noticing already I'm gonna be fired fuck
>guys at bar telling her to calm down
>nope
>DO YOU KNOW SHE'S A LESBIAN! SHE'S JUST USING YOU LIKE ME
>ok maybe I should just walk out now
>this shift is kill
>but at least she'll follow me and someone can cover my shit and maybe i'll just get in shit for walking out and not this bullshit
>>6098527
>nah fuck my luck
>the manager/head server guy is coming over now
>oh shit this guy is intimidating
>think stereotypical snotty old fancy restaurant server
>that looks down on your whole life cause you said the wine bottle name wrong
>first sends me outside and gf to follow
>calms the customers quickly, free round for the bar
>says "She'll be back shortly"
>oh wait am I not dead?
>gf still fighting with me
>just pls be quiet ok I don't care if we're done anymore in fact I hope we are now just shut up
>manager/head waiter guy comes in
>right away tells her cops are coming for her for this public disturbance and all this shit
>she's in tears trying to blame me and then him for me having to flirt with guys for the job
>basically compares this ritzy place to a strip club
>nah that's it for him she's out
>threat of cops keeps her out
>turns to me tells me to wash my face and get out there that I'm lucky we're too swamped to deal with
>k yah yes sir
>actually think I get sympathy bonus tips for the scene from some tables
>one table all "YOU'RE A LESBIAN WHA"
>try to joke it off "hah no I'm LEBANESE" since I look vaguely foreign and that table had been trying to guess my ethnicity
>otherwise rest of shift is just normal crazy bullshit
>after shift, tipping out and talk to manager
>he's surprisingly sympathetic
>in a twist he's a gay man, feels bad for me, but I should NEVER have that shit happen again
>not gonna fire me
>work there for couple years throughout uni
>later he gets me another bartender job at a popular gay club
>damn I have never seen a similarly fancy gay club
>I mean cigar room and hard wood everything meant to cater to the old homos with money in the city
>see him there
>he likes telling the story of that time he saved a babylesbians job to them cause of her crazy girlfriend
>be trans
>make online dating profile that explicitly states I'm trans
>get message from some QT guy
>talking, things going well, lots in common
>thinking wow he doesn't care that I'm trans
>we're planning to meet
>for some reason I decide to double check that he is OK with dating a trans woman, even though I mention in the first line of my profile I figure I'll be safe
>ask if he is OK with meeting a trans woman
>says he didn't know I was trans
>no reply for awhile
>next message 'pre op or post?'
>pre
>never hear from him again
Stuff like this has happened about 5 different times now. I put it in my profile to not be 'deceptive' but what fucking good is it if guys can't fucking read?
>Girl messages me on PoF
>Agree to go out on a date.
>About an hour before I go to meet her, she sends me a bunch of texts explaining she's MtF
>Noproblemhere.jpg, hit it off on the first date.
>Dating qt pre-full time transition MtF (who likes her cock)
>Dresses feminine and applies makeup when we're together.
>Not allowed to be "female" at home even though her parents know.
>Learn that I really enjoy dating MtF's, it's kind of a nice combination of everything I like.
>I like cock, I like feminine bodies, I like being in a relationship with female minded individuals.
>Over the next month, learn that she's basically a NEET with zero ambitions.
>Psychologically self-trapped in her current situation
>Parents have basically convinced her she's not capable of living on her own or being self sufficient
>20 years old and doesn't even have a drivers license because parents won't teach her to drive
>Or take her to the DMV
>Do everything I can to try to help her.
>Encourage her to start taking more charge.
>Give her driving lessons in my car.
>Offer multiple times to take her to get her drivers license.
>Take her out on dates to nice restaurants in public places while she's in full girl dress.
>She doesn't quite pass because no HRT, but I can tell how happy it makes her to be treated like she does.
>Try to support her transitioning full time.
>Let her stay with me as often as possible.
>Push her to get a job, offer to help her get a car.
>She always backs out of getting her license last minute.
>Always has an excuse for not getting a job.
>Prefers to sit at home and sink into animu fantasy land instead of trying to be independent.
>Makes the little money she has by moderating some weebshit mmo private server.
>Eventually I just can't do it any more, I can't be with someone with no goals.
>I can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves.
>Break up with her.
>She tells me I was the best boyfriend she ever could have imagined, wished it wasn't this way.
>>6099203
Contd.
>She cuts off all contact immediately afterwards, won't even go out to lunch to talk it over.
>Six months later, a my new relationship with a cis-female is going well, goes facebook official.
>Not a week later MtF ex messages me on Facebook asking how I'm doing, and mentioning she'd like to come visit me.
>(I moved a state over in the time between)
My fucking face when. Truth is, I had a pretty good idea that I would have much rather been in a relationship with a driven MtF who would actually stand up for herself and had at least SOME minor personal goals than with a cis female, but post that breakup I had no idea how to find them and I wasn't going to devolve into some kind of chaser, so I moved on.
>>6099203
Holy shit, I was basically your girlfriend 4 years ago. But the boyfriend in my case was a cis lesbian with severe spending problems and a dad who was a coke dealer (in federal prison now).
>out as trans for 3 yrs at that point
>fulltime but severe social anxiety to the point I barely leave the house
>meet her at my first fulltime job
>she's charming and treats me well
>end up in a relationship and start living together
>quickly find out that she's a reckless spender
>homophobic mother
>deadbeat coke dealer dad
>quits jobs constantly for no reason
>learn that she's $10k in credit card debt
>then I'm fired from job after a co-worker I confided in outs me as trans
>basically go back into hermit mode
>no ambitions, want to die
>no driving license either
>we're both awful for each other
>fighting increases
>come to the conclusion that we're fucking awful together and I'm not attracted to vaginas anyway
>we break up
>>6099203
>>6099241
Wow this story is pretty sad, you seem like a really good guy, I have a feeling her parents were probably somewhat abusive, or maybe she had some other host of mental health issues.
>>6098503
Haha, she most definitely wanted that BBC.
>>6099203
>>6099241
If you stayed with her she probably wouldn't have been trans. There are a lot of manipulative people out there that try to manipulate into these kind of dependent relationships.
The big red flag is that they don't follow through on things. For you that was a driver's license and getting a job. Not getting on hrt is the biggest red flag of all. He probably had several online daddies while you were dating and laughing about it on /vg/ with his mmo guildmates.
>>6099494
>and I'm not attracted to vaginas anyway
How was the sex?
>>6099203
This frustrates me so much because I'm the exact opposite. I'm investing so much in self-development and education, hoping that one day I'll find a cool dude that'll shield and cultivate me, supporting my goals. I don't mind working all day or studying all day as long as I can dedicate myself and be completely loyal towards somebody in every single aspect. And like, nobody cares =\
>>6099604
>How was the sex?
Tried to get her to have sex with a strapon a few times. She was bad at it and I ended up doing all the work so I gave up.
She also insisted on having piv quite a lot, which I hate because it feels wrong and I was always too worried the condom might break or something. When I was doing it I had to imagine I was having anal sex with another transgirl or a guy.
The oral sex was ok, but I didn't enjoy reciprocating because the taste and appearance is kind of weird. I prefer sucking cock by far.
I can't imagine myself having sex with anyone but a cis guy or a nonop trans girl.
>>6099494
Oof, yeah that's a tough situation. Definitely been there, when you find someone but both people kind of know it's a toxic situation. Always hard to make the call.
>>6099505
I tried my best. It was a new situation for me in a lot of ways, so all I could really do was wing it and hope for the best. Unfortunately...
>her parents were probably somewhat abusive
>maybe she had some other host of mental health issues
Both of these things were most likely true, and definitely the first. The mother pretended to be friendly but it was pretty obviously a front and used the emotionally abusive father as an excuse. Interacting with them was a whole new type of weird for me. It was painfully obvious how far out of their way they went to ignore our relationship, and actively pretended I was just "their sons bro" or something. They never said anything hostile or aggressive, just ignored me when possible and used minimal pleasantries when they couldn't. It was a shitty situation all around. I'm in no way qualified to diagnose mental health issues, but there were a lot of indicators. If they were present, her environment and upbringing was definitely to blame.
>>6099696
To get a relationship like that you have to be a leech anyway and highly likely lots about you just doesn't add up. Somehow normal people can't get in those relationships. Maybe they are too fixed on their goals than finding someone they can manipulate.
>>6099696
I'm still hanging on to a little bit of naive hope that someday I'll find my perfect qt3.14 partner to help fulfill and make feel beautiful and together we can help one another to achieve peak success and be loyal to. Someone I can genuinely help, and can help me, and actually wants to live the dream.
Then I look at one of my good friends older brother who hasn't had a real relationship in years and works six months out of the year, has two airplanes, nice cars, motorcycles, a nice house, he's in perfect shape, and doesn't give a fuck and I'm like shit, that's probably a much more realistic goal.
>>6099031
I'm a trans dude and I also disclose I am trans in my profile up front and in plain English.
Not because I LIKE disclosing that I am trans but because I feel like someone should have the right to decide how they feel about that before contacting me.
I thought I was being pretty damn logical in assuming that warning people upfront about my trans status would stop people who aren't interested in dating trans men from contacting me. Makes sense, right?
But apparently people don't read because I've had at least two people contact me first and then when I brought up something about being trans, they balked and blocked me.
That's fine and all but I just wonder why you would contact someone without reading their profile first.
>>6099882
>tfw you think you'd magically stumbled across someone you really clicked with and they slowly stop messaging you back
Oh well.
>>6099928
Don't ever hold your breath until the second in-person meeting.
And don't waste too much time messaging back and forth. Push for that first face to face encounter as quickly as possible. It'll avoid you getting your hopes up when you shouldn't, and wasting your time when you could be looking for a new prospect.
>>6099928
This happened to me!
But the last message I heard from the dude was that he had just gotten out of the hospital after some horrible stomach bug.
I hope he's okay and recovering, even if he doesn't message me back.
It's not like it would have went anywhere anyway - he was an ambitious, talented dude going to a nice art school and I'm just a chubby nobody from the Mid-West.
>tfw you scare everyone off with your eagerness
I can't help it... I don't know how to take it slow, if I like someone I want to talk and hang out with them.
>>6100766
I don't know if that's so much your own issue as much as the people you end up with, (unless you end up being one of those saying I love you on the first date type of people)..
I personally don't get the whole wait 3 days to call, play on the defensive etc way dating happens. It's kind of dumb to act like you don't like someone as much as you actually do.
>>6105452
No nothing like I love you or anything but if I want to see someone again I'm pretty upfront that I want to, and yeah I don't like to act coy and be all treat them mean keep em keen. Maybe all the people I've met are just flakes.
>>6105472
I think that's a good thing you don't, I'd be pretty hyped if someone was that honest about liking me to be up front about it.
Just a good sign that there isn't going to be a lot of shyness about feelings or games being played.
I think that might be possible, especially if you're on the younger side.
Seems like the older someone is the less into doing that and more blunt about what they're looking for from you is.
>>6105475
eargerness to be around someone you like and neediness really aren't the same thing t b h.
Neediness is putting someone on a pedestal and putting someone above you to the point you come across as trying way too hard, whether that be 50+ texts, guilt tripping someone to hang out with you, or going into far more manipulative territory (I've had my fair share of needy girlfriends, it's nothing like someone just being excited to be around you)
Eargerness is being grounded enough to know that person might not be the right one, but you're gonna be transparent about how you feel in that moment anyhow.
Is Grindr bad for dating? OKC seemed to have a lot of weird overly clingy overly serious people, and there was a guy on Tinder I really didn't want to see me there, so I thought maybe Grindr would be like more casual and maybe some chats could lead to some dates? (plus most of the Grindr people are on tinder too).
Also is it normal to be paranoid that you're uglier and akwarder than your presentation on apps? I feel like some of the (real) people who message me on Grindr would never approach me irl...
>>6113397
A lot of people (at least in my area) mostly just use Grindr for hookups. I tried dating there, but it didn't go too great.
>Also is it normal to be paranoid that you're uglier and akwarder than your presentation on apps?
Yeah, but you just have to get over it. If you really want to date someone, they're going to have to see you for who you really are eventually.
>>6113412
>A lot of people (at least in my area) mostly just use Grindr for hookups
Yeah this is mainly what I've gotten, but I said I wasn't looking for that in my profile and I still get a decent amount of messages from guys who aren't overtly looking for hookups. It's just I'm totally new at not pretending to be happy about dying alone so I'm not too sure what I want yet and I find the seriousness of proper dating websites really intimidating.
>>6099203
>>6099241
You sound like a cutie anon and your story is sad af.
Trans girlfriend or not, you sound pretty nice.
Keep doing and thinking cool things.
