>tfw come out to gf of seven years
>tfw she accepts you
>tfw having cis sex feels gross
>tfw she doesn't wanna do butt stuff but says suggestive things like she wants to all the time but everytime we just end up doing missionary
>tfw have sexually catered to her for 7 years having sex vicariously through her
>tfw she won't even finger a clean butt I spent a half hour cleaning inside and out
>>6042365
Cis women are terrible, senpai. Now that she's found a "man" who puts effort into her pleasure, she's not going to let him go just because he would rather be a girl. In fact, I would tell you to suspect she will continue to say she will support you in transition, but when it comes to putting her money where her mouth is, she will always divert you with some excuse.
>>6042371
I have my own money, so that isn't the problem. She is just prude. I would say she's vanilla but I think room temperature tap water is a better descriptor of her sexual aptitude.
>>6042379
I didn't literally mean her money. I mean that she will attempt to prevent you from transition, regardless of who's paying. Or are you saying that's not the case and your only problem with her is the sex?
>>6042391
It's the sex part. I really don't think she would be opposed, she has already practically fetishized me and I haven't even started HRT, just dressing in more andro clothes, taking meticulous care of myself (aka ordering half of the lush catalog) and working out to develop my hips and ass. I have a pretty femme face even so I can already wear some stuff and leave people guessing if I shaved within the last day, even have been mistaken for an FTM in the passgen and irl.
I'm just worried she won't come around or at least try it. I've been out to her for 6 months now, and she won't budge. She knows cis sex makes me feel weird but what I want makes her feel weird so apparently her needs wants and preferences take priority over mine, as they have for the last 7 years. She doesn't even like fingers inside her, so all I can do is rub her tits and her clit because she doesn't like oral either.
Tl;dr
We love each other a lot but are sexually incompatible
>>6042431
You are not really in a spot to know where she stands on your transition, Depending on where you live try to get on HRT as soon as possible. What you are doing now is basically the same stuff a gay guy could do and we have no idea how she will act with the other stuff. So be careful because she may not react this well to an actual transition. use a strap on or something, Even for you that might help to wear one over panties. If she doesn't like this kind of stuff then you may need to leave her because having a partner that doesn't respect what you like in sex either is kinda bad
>>6042431
Exactly what this anon says. >>6042469 Some women fully stand behind their partners when they transition, however, some seem to be fully into the clothing/make-up part prior to HRT, in other words, the "make believe" phase. But, it's common when hormones are actually started, and the partner becomes physically feminized, it's clear the woman's support and understanding dries up. These women are fine with a man with a kink, but a woman is not what they signed up for. I think if your girlfriend isn't even willing to do sex in a way that's comfortable for you part of the time, she is likely to be this type. She's already showing signs of it with
>tfw she doesn't wanna do butt stuff but says suggestive things like she wants to all the time but everytime we just end up doing missionary
>>6042365
Hi cyba
Maybe because shes a straight women and likes men to Fuck her and give blow jobs like most straight women and doesn't want finger her bfs ass or cater his sissy fantasies
>>6042481
>These women are fine with a man with a kink, but a woman is not what they signed up for.
women who get overly excited about "dolling you up" are the worst. most of the time they end up having no sensitivity when it comes to the reality of what you're going through.
"we're gonna make you so pretty!!! :D"
it feels so condescending because you know it's just like an adult version of putting barbie's clothes on ken, with the added bonus of a sentimental excuse for doing it.
and then when you explain to them that looking like a man in a dress is depressing to you, not exciting, they don't want to hear it.
>come out to gf
>having cis sex
A G P
G
P
have you considered that, just maybe, she isn't attracted to women or feminized dudes at all and only wants men you fucking retard?
you tricked her into believing that you are a man, considering you have a "female" brain wiring which i honestly doubt, which is why she doesn't accept you
break up and move the fuck on you stupid transbian troublemaker
and yes i mad. you motherfucking transbians always expect the whole world to bend over backwards for you just because you come out as women to your unsuspecting spouses
you are nothing but selfish little pricks and your obliviousness/ignorance/self-absorbed behavior infuriates me as fuck
>>6042431
what other kind of sex are you supposed to have if she doesn't have a dick?
cis girls dont really understand anal btw
>>6045887
sorry for bad language, i am serene now but seriously no one can be that stupid to expect people like OP's wife to accept their husband she fell in love for coming out as a woman to shrug it off like no biggies and live happily ever after
that ain't happening
>>6045933
No need to apologize (not to me at least). In fact, I thank you for saying what OP needs to hear in no uncertain terms.
>>6045933
I might add she is actively bisexual, she hooked up with a girl a few years back and we have a cis female roommate and they watch TV and feel each other up all the time. No penetration but lots of ass and bare tit grabbing/ nipple pinching, probably one drunk night away from scissoring until they start a fire.
She has expressed on multiple occasions that she thinks traps are hot as fuck, and confessed to me after I came out that she browsed the trap threads weekly. Maybe it would be too close to home for her if I went full trap but she thinks it is hot as fuck.
>>6048219
She is just really vanilla, like soooooo vanilla. Won't touch my dick after I pull it out of her because it's icky, doesn't like butt stuff, doesn't really like kissing even. It's weird we can have sex but not kiss once, and for the most part don't kiss at all. But she swallows though and can take a dick down her throat. It's the damndest thing tbqh senpai
>>6042365
HOOLLLLY SHIT YOUR A FUCKING FAGGOT HURP DERP CIS HURP DERP NIGG YOU HAVE A MENTAL PROBLEM.
>>6048272
-10/10
>>6048272
Also *you're
>>6045900
My gf is cis. She's never wetter than after strapping on and fucking me. You just need to find the right girl. They're rare and I'm lucky af but they're out there.
>pretends to be man
>get a woman that likes men
>trap her into a relationship with you
>LOL IM A GRILL FINGER MY ASS XDDD
Fuck you OP
>>6048326
We have a strap on and she's used it but she doesn't like using it because "it's hard to keep jumping like that my legs get tired and it makes my back hurt"
>mfw
>>6048331
My gf has knee issues so a couple useful tricks for you:
Position yourself at the end of the bed on your hands and knees, then move your knees apart until you're low enough for her to fuck you easily.
Try missionary. Lay on your back and lift your legs over her shoulders so you make a C shape. She should be able to put most of her weight in her arms that way and that with less effort.
It takes women time to get used to how to fuck if they've never done it before same as guys. They're shit the first few times but after a while it all makes sense.
>>6048331
Jumping?!?!? You poor thing, what the fuck did she do to you?
>>6042365
You related to her as a man when you first met her. She wants a man that will bend her over and demolish her little pussy
Not some girly little fem boy
Bite the bullet and break up with her. Find someone who likes you as a girl from the start
>>6042365
Somewhat similar situation here. Partner of 7.5 years in hetero relationship finds butt stuff abhorrent, even if I suggest she fuck or finger me. I'm bi and I want to be dommed, but all she wants is vanilla sex, no joke. Vaginal sex only, no roleplay, nothing kinky, not even porn. Shit's driving me to cheat but I'm still the asshole. At least you can leave. I'm married and trapped because my dumb Catholic ass was in denial until I was already married. Never get married.
>>6048236
Wow. This sounds eerily, familiar, thoughy wife can't deepthroat without nearly puking
>>6048437
Just make friends with a super passing FTM. They love to peg, and always have the best weed. Not to mention they are pure sex studs.
>>6048406
Lol auto correct got me.
*humping
>>6048415
Idk I've always been pretty femme. I never came off as being a macho man or even expressly male. We've always been more girlfriends than anything, something acknowledged after many trips shopping with me picking out nice stuff for her.
>>6048566
God you are delusional
>>6042365
use vibrators and let her top
>>6050314
that's totally a thing though. there are even cis hetero relationships where the guy is so in touch with his emotions and effeminate that it just isn't a traditional male-female dynamic at all
like look at hank green's relationship with his wife
/r/mypartneristrans
>>6050677
Exactly this.
>>6042365
That's so sad, op :(
Agreed with everyone saying break up with her. You'll be depressed for a while but in the end you'll end up with someone who fully accepts you. Think of the long term.
She is healthy and states her boundaries.
You are sexually entitled and passive aggressive.
Open relationship or break up
>>6058414
Breaking up over sex is just retarded though. DESU I only use sex to affirm my identity anyways its not like I actually want to have sex 99% of the time.
Before I gave into my feels I would be always horny because my masculinity was so ungrounded so I needed the sex to affirm it. Now that I have divested myself entirely from it I could live without it for the most part, I am just annoyed that she is being so strictly vanilla when I try so hard to make it perfect and clean for her.
I even spent like $200 on toys for us to use and most are still in their boxes 4 months later and the one we opened she exclusively uses and doesn't even penetrate herself with it and wont use it in front of me, who paid like $80 for it.
I think she is just REALLY repressed. She never instigates, doesn't care about getting off, and is unwilling to put much effort into sex (wont try new positions because 'bending like that makes my legs tired/knees hurt/back hurt'. Not even talking about anything extravagant or intricate.)
Sexually I am completely over her but on everything else we work so well together :/
>>6042365
Get into an open relationship.
Like if she wants to have sex with men, let her. Same goes for you. If you both can't have sex with each other but want all the other things of a relationship just do it.
>>6060976
How are you trannies attracted to straight women?
>>6060976
lmao. You are both bottoms sexually. If everything works except for the sex you can either breakup or go an open type relationship because the sex will eventually break you two apart. Probably closed poly relationship with a bisexual top would work best for you two.
>>6060976
Now you've said that it sounds like she's just not interested in sex in general, rather than not willing to cater to your sexual needs in particular. It's not something to break up over but it's important that you're talking about this and trying to reach some sort of compromise, like with any other aspect of the relationship.
>>6061193
Cause they are straight men with mental problems and self esteem issues
>>6060976
Okay, she's clearly got boundaries she doesn't want to go past, and spending money to that end is no guarantee that she's going to or that she has to move past them. I mean, sex is kinda super fucking personal, and it's her body to do with as she wants.
Does it fucking blow? Totally, and I feel for you. But she's clearly not a big fan of sex, sounds like she doesn't like penetration, and there's not a lot of payoff in it for her in getting you off, as far as I can tell.
You might wanna broach whether or not it's okay to step out a bit. Hell, maybe it'll be a relief to her to not have sex? If she never instigates, maybe she doesn't want to have sex at all. If the rest of your relationship can remain the same, could even be healthier for all parties.
>>6061574
As stated earlier she is actively bisexual. She is really aggressive with our roommate (her friend of 3 years) and desu I wish they would just fuck already so I can go and find a bf but so far all they do is feel each other up while watching TV.
She told me she thinks she is probably a lesbian, which is why she likes my effeminate personality in the first place. I can never attract straight girls though, only the quirky bi ones. Even at work straight girls don't even look at me but the bi girls/transmen clamor over me and it's been tough but I have rebuffed 99.9999% of advances. As for the .0001% a workout buddy (ftm) threw himself at me and I really wanted to but still didn't but I count my desire to smash that into oblivion as a small failure.
>>6045086
Breeder.
>>6061193
because you can find ones that are reasonably sane, normal, and cute
>>6063366
We aren't as rare as most people think. For instance I know I am not a woman and never will be, I just want to be femme as fuck. If given the choice I would choose to born a cis female but it's too late for all that so here we are, just making the best, nothing to be nuts over. Some of y'all got no chill I swear.
>>6070241
i don't get what you're saying.
>>6070241
They were talking about straight women, not you, defensive MTF.
>>6042365
If you wanted that why didn't you date a guy instead? Women generally aren't into that stuff.
>>6048328
>>pretends to be man
OP is a man lololol
>>6072244
Men scare me, a lot. I can't be in the same room alone with them hardly and go to lengths to avoid that situation so any real intimacy with one is off the table entirely. They are cute and hot but I am horrified of them.
>>6072321
just need to get over it sweetheart
>>6078571
Yea I tried. It didn't go well. This was in a one month period where myself and gf tried to see other people.
>go to bar
>throw myself at a guy
>he leans in for a kiss at the bar
>I put my finger over his lips and grab his shirt and pull him outside
>we go to his house
>start grabbing his dick on the way home, he pulls it out while he is driving and I suck it a bit, he gets close and I stop and smile at him
>at his house he is already warmed up so we get in and he pushes me into his couch and pulls down my pants
>starts fingering me
>literally heaven
>uses 2 fingers
>even better
>hear his belt buckle hit the floor and he just starts fucking me raw
>"hey put in a condom"
>shoves my face into the couch and presses all the way into me and fucks me really hard and fast
>try to get him off and push against him
>he thinks I'm into it so goes faster
>use my foot to wrap around his leg and try to push against him again
>he goes even faster and harder, pushes into me really hard and cums
>so warm
>"did you have fun?"
>:/ "no you didn't use a condom or lube or let me get on top"
>"well I'm clean so who cares?"
>:/ "still I would have appreciated a heads up or something that you were going to fuck me raw and push me into your couch"
>"I thought you were into it"
>:/ "I was trying to get up when I pushed against you, not power bottom"
>"why didn't you say something?"
>:/ "because you had my face smashed into the couch the entire time"
>"lol yolo now gtfo or suck my dick clean"
>leave and walk back to the bar and get really really really really drunk and drive home.
Exactly why I can't be with guys, guys are such assholes.
>>6079528
that's because you fucked some gay chad you found in a bar you retard
>>6079543
>implying it would be any different in any other circumstance
>all cis males gay or bi are shitheads
>have no respect once their pants come off
>even less with their pants on
>just trust me dudes are not for me. I can appreciate them and list after them but it will always end in disaster if I try to let them fuck me.
>>6079528
>>6079554
>Doesn't vet some random motherfucker they met within the span of an hour for suitability before even sucking the guy's dick
>Somehow all men will take advantage of you
That sounds like a "blame my stupidity on others" kind of problem. Though the motherfucker you were with was retarded too, don't think that excuses you.
>>6042371
fucking end it you cfaggot
OP if you're still here, you have to rethink your relationship.
On one side you love your wife/gf but you don't feel attracted to her (and it seems she doesn't either) which is understandable since you changed a fucking lot.
You can always stay a friend of her and none of you should be forced to stay in this relationship if you're not attracted to each other. Sex is an important part of a relationship, being attracted to each other is very important to a relationship.
My advice, if you still want to live with each other for now, do it but not as a couple anymore, split up and each of you try to find someone, it may be hard but there's no need to end things on bad terms. You can still be her friend.
I'm gonna tell you a short story now. My ex gf ended up being FtM and we weren't into each other anymore, instead of making drama we just decided to split up and move on and try to find happiness but stay on friendly terms.
Also try to understand her side, it can be quite hard seeing the person you love and are used to die and another person take their place, a new person. In this case, the female you.
>>6079856
But it's just a physical change, my personality will stay the same. I've always been effeminate, to the effect of getting constantly harassed about it in school/ work/ wherever I am ( which is why I hate and can't be around men)
It's just a superficial change, I will always be the same person I have always been.
>>6080498
/r/mypartneristrans
>>6045217
Had a relationship precisely like this. It ended with her sexually abusing me.
>>6072206
It's kind of pathetic how quickly you're willing to pander and put your entire identity at the mercy and judgment of anonymous people just for the scant chance of slight tolerance.
Get some self-esteem goddamn. This is cringeworthy shit, bitch.
>>6080498
you're right that you're still the same person. but you're going to look different, and you already act different in the sense that you're being more open about your sexuality (trust me if you aren't sexually compatible that can easily be enough to kill a relationship)
tbqh i think the worst thing you could do at this point is not let go of w/e preconceived ideas you had about what your relationship with her has to be like. what i'm hearing from you is that you love her, she loves you, you've been close friends for years, and neither of you likes having sex with the other person.
that sounds like a recipe for a great friendship, not a relationship.
you're also saying you're attracted to guys but they scare the shit out of you, and somehow that means you should be in a lesbian relationship. i've seen this before in cis girls -- thinking that men are bad/evil/scary/etc, identifying as bi, and trying to have a gf but having horribly dysfunctional relationship after horribly dysfunctional relationship. then as soon as they get over their fear of men it's like a light bulb turns on and suddenly it's like they're having an ACTUAL relationship with genuinely romantic feelings. i'm not saying i can know if you're experiencing something like that, but your story does sound familiar
>>6080935
You are pretty close but I still have romantic feelings for her. I like cooking for her, making her lunches, and generally making her happy by showing devotion and caring.
Yes I will likely become more femme as my body and personality align but when I say I am already pretty femme I mean it; I get mistaken for being a girl in the phone all the time. I got a call about a job and the interviewer was surprised when I showed up because from my resume style as well as my voice on the phone when we talked for a half hour it never once crossed their mind I could be male. I still got the job but was basically bullied out of it within 6 months for being too pretty. Wasn't even wearing girl clothes just dressed well and took care of my skin and hair, which wasn't even long.
I can see how a change could affect the dynamic but I don't think it will be so serious as to fracture the relationship, at least not more so than anything else up to this point.
As for the sex aspect we both are just kinda over sex at this point anyways but occasionally like to feel good. I'm just frustrated because when we do it is the exact opposite of what I want it to be.
