So, here's the story:
>have dysphoria
>take hormones for a couple years and like all of the changes
>laser facial hair removal
>have niceish long hair
>change college majors to a more female profession (that I have an honest interest in, not for fitting a stereotype)
My endo said that my hormone levels are finally good, and asked if I felt more feminine. I said, not particularly. My moods have definitely stabilized since upping the estrogen dose, but I don't feel like a woman anymore, and I'm starting to think I should try and be a regular man, get married and have a family and all that shit. Being a girl is just a silly, pipe-dream that I need to grow out of. Their life is so different than mine that it just feels stupid.
What do?
>>6018776
Go off the hormones and be reminded of why you started them in the first place. That's not a warning, I'm telling you to seriously do it.
>>6018788
I did at about 6 months into blockers an 6 weeks of estrogen, but had to start them again 2 months later. Maybe I didn't try hard enough to be a man?
>>6018802
Maybe you've given this some thought, but have you considered
>try and be a regular woman, get married and have a family and all that shit
as an option?
Also, how is your life "so different from theirs"?
>>6018808
I look more like a young guy than a woman. I could have had a decent life if my brain was normal, and didn't wish to be a girl all the time.
>how is your life different
Different experiences growing up. Plus I've never been "the girl" in a relationship. When they all talk about marriage and babies, I just feel like I will never get to be in that position.
>>6018834
If your concerns are with not passing and not being accepted as a woman by a partner, can you really imagine trying to live as a man (again) will bring you relief?
You didn't get to live those early years, and it's alright to grieve for that loss, but if you stay on your current path, you'll be able to (probably) live the rest of your life as a woman. Can you pursue a future you don't want in honour of a past you didn't want?
When I was young I wanted to be a girl. I was an asocial sperg and I was obsessed with gays and lesbians. As I got older, I realized I'm just a boring straight male. I thank God I wasn't born ten years later, or I might have done something stupid to myself.
Like everyone else, all I have to go on is my own personal experiences. My experience leads me to believe that transsexuality is mostly a result of thinking the grass is greener and/or wanting attention. I don't support trans rights other than if you can pass and want to, go for it. If you can't pass, don't expect society to bend over backwards to accommodate your delusions of being the little girl.
>>6018872
>My experience leads me to believe that transsexuality is mostly a result of thinking the grass is greener and/or wanting attention.
This is kinda insulting. I'm trans because I got dysphoria and shit, hormones make me feel human. I don't want attention and being sir'd is the worst.
>>6018776
>>6018802
>>6018834
You sound bored with your life and dumb. It sounds like you don't even live as a girl. Try that first, be the girl in the relationship, find a boyfriend,girlfriend,whatever.
Anyone can have marriage and babies that not a girl thing you baka.
You can either commit to being a girl and try really hard or back to being a easy mode dude.
>>6018872
I don't expect anyone to treat me like a woman.
>delusions of being a little girl
Did you ever cry about it though? It's like the wind gets knocked out of me everyday because I'm stuck being a boy.
>>6018861
>will relationships as a man bring you relief?
No. It sounds good in my head, but I know I couldn't, and being the guy in the relationship just made me jealous. I couldn't fuck my ex because of it.
I just feel like I won't end up with anything. Not the normal life of a man, or a woman, just some fucked up non-entity.
>>6018997
I still live as a guy because I'm too mannish, and I'd be the hon of all hons. I don't think FFS could salvage me.
>marriage and babies not for girls
But, it's different for men and women
>commit to being a girl or go back
I did at first, but it's like I ran out of steam when I realized that pulling it off probably isn't possible for me. Now I'm stuck.
>>6018872
if you're just a boring straight guy why are you on a faggot board talking to fags
>>6019061
He's just another /pol/tard with the same "don't do it it will go away bro"
>>6018872
OP is not a real trans like Akaka or me. You have been fooled into thinking this is what trans people are like.
yeah i can tell how bitter you are because you don't pass so you have those self-destructive thoughts about going back to living as a man but i am telling you it's not worth it. being a femme dude is still better than being a man
>>6018776
Friendly reminder that body dysphoria is a mental illness and can be treated with long term psychological therapy and not with short term procedures like taking hormones and operations.
>>6018872
Same, I was even on blockers for a while, yikes. Luckily I ended up needing to see a different doctor for a little while, and he put me on pimozide. That shit saved my life, and I've been happy to be free of my delusions ever since.
>>6019102
>pimozide
when will this meme end?
>>6019083
>>6019214
Not OP but I'm in a very similar situation. I'm on HRT but I don't ever plan to go full time, I know I'd never be able to pass. I've just resigned myself to presenting female when I'm at home alone or with my girlfriend and pretending to be a cis male the rest of the time.
Does it kinda suck? Yeah, but it's still preferable to living life as a hideous unpassable tranny or going back to being a dude. I'm still a lot happier than I'd be if I wasn't on HRT, and being a secret woman is honestly the least bad option for me. I definitely wouldn't recommend detransitioning if you're in a similar place.
>>6019361
What do you do about your breasts. You know binding damages them right?
>>6019449
I've only been on HRT for a few months, so they're not very noticeable yet. The nipples will poke out if I'm wearing a very tight shirt, but otherwise I'm fine.
Not sure what I'll do if they get any bigger. Maybe I can just wear very loose fitting clothes? Worst case scenario, I can wear a small sports bra under my shirt.
>>6019508
>I've only been on HRT a few months
>I'll never pass
>>6019524
There's such a thing as skeletal structure, senpai.
>>6019540
There's such a thing as FFS
>>6019557
Oh, senpai, poor senpai...
I'm talking about shoulders, hips, feet, hands, rib cage, and skull (not just face).
Just because you've got a pretty face doesn't mean you'll pass. Granted, skull shape doesn't mean much given the right hairstyle, but the rest all plays a pretty big part.
>>6019613
I actually have the opposite problem. My body is nice and scrawny and femme, I just have a very masculine face. But I'm really averse to getting any kind of surgery.
>>6019613
The size doesn't matter its the proportion.
>>6019629
I never said anything about size or proportion. Just that looking at your skeleton can let you know if you'll ever pass even if you only just started HRT.
>>6019102
>This post is proudly sponsored by American College of Pediatricians™. We care about your children™'s future™.
>>6019524
> wow hormones fixed your neanderthal skull, large feet, and 42" shoulders! you look great hun!
>>6019758
>Wow, it's a great thing you invented a time machine, anon
>Now you can go back to before puberty worked its curse on you so HRT alone will make you pass!
>It really is great to have access to have a time machine
>Especially when things don't go right the first time around
>Isn't it?
>>6019758
>42" shoulders
I mean... you're probably self-conscious about them...but pics? I think a not insubstantial portion of this board would like to see that.
>>6019524
If you don't don't look fem before you start hormones I have bad news for you
>>6019818
what if i look like a butch lesbian pre-transition? will i be ok?
>>6019813
Err, that guy was making a sarcastic comment. I don't have particularly large shoulders at all, it's just my face that doesn't pass.
>>6018872
>My experience leads me to believe that transsexuality is mostly a result of thinking the grass is greener and/or wanting attention.
There is solid truth in this statement. I have 5 IRL and numerous online M->F friends who grew out of it. Same story every time:
1) Saw all the top 1% super-trap threads on message boards.
2) Thought, "Gee, I can do anything if I set my mind to it."
3) Try the pills BEFORE learning how to cross-dress, makeup, or other female activities.
4) Two years into pills, they are not in the genetic lottery of the 1% supertraps. All realize it is a mistake.
Each of them regret doing this.
>>6019758
dude my shoulders are 18" what the fuck is 42"?
>>6019988
I don't know if that really means they were doing it just for the attention though. I'm an unpassable hon so my word on this might not be the most valid, but it could just be they're sick and tired of not passing and being looked at like a freak, which is incredibly discouraging.
If they decide to detrans, they might regret it just as much, if not more. Dysphoria is a bitch and it will fuck you up in new and exciting ways each time, especially if you convince yourself it's not there and everything is fine (which a LOT of transwomen do).
>>6020000
Are you kidding?! The broadest guy I've ever met in person was like, 26, and I felt like a child beside him. 42 is a whole other level of huge.
>>6020003
that's literally impossible. some lifters have biceps that big
>>6020003
i just checked right now and 18 fits around my thigh. you got me m8
>>6020033
Pretty sure 18" is average for a male
Yeah, OP. It was basically a phase, but you have already done the damage, so might as well go full.
>>6020117
hrt reduces shoulder muscle r-right?
>>6020134
Yes. Substantially.
>>6020143
fuck yeah!
so being 18" now I'll be what? 16"
>>6019988
I grew up in a small town with no internet or cable tv, and I've had dysphoria since I was like 5. There was no access to hormones until it was already too late to not be a hon.
>>6020161
depends on how much muscle you have obviously
>>6019524
Daily Reminder
>>6020118
>so might as well go full.
>The treatment isn't working and you have doubts,
>Keep Going!
There are 2 kinds of trannies,1 of them hates being/have been a man, so they feel happy for being a woman and dont want to come back,but, on the other hand we have those who dont hate to be a man but still want to be a woman,if these trannies go on,when it has been a long time they may "miss" being a man because they didnt hate it,but missing it doesnt mean regreting transition,you should take it as something that makes you happy.If you go back,you will probably just experience dysphoria again and get back to the beginning,definitely not worth it.Maybe you just feel comfortable with yourself and that makes you dont feel the dysphoria that you have/had.But who knows,ut can be a lot of things.
Conclussion is,just go back if you are COMPLETELY sure,otherwise you will regret it
>>change college majors to a more female profession (that I have an honest interest in, not for fitting a stereotype)
This doesn't make sense. Did you not like your old one?
>>6019783
The skeletal structure is formed in the womb...
I don't believe anyone is trans. I need proof.
>>6019737
'The family™"
>>6021405
I hated it, and was only going into it because of my male relatives.
>>6021419
Yes, but it develops during puberty in a manner directed by hormone levels.
>>6018776
>pipe-dream
>dream
there's your problem. being a girl should come naturally to you, it should be the natural state of your being.
not something to be achieved
>>6021511
Because bone-structure don't real? I feel halfways okay until I see myself, then it's just like why bother.
>>6019084
haha. You both are exactly like that dude. Weird socially isolated beta straight boys
>>6018776
Keep pills and be a femboy who dates cute boys if you're cute.
You're probably dealing with stupid doctors who brainwash you into thinking that wanting to look girly = wanting to be a girl. That's not always the case.
>>6019988
DId any of them pursue ffs. Tbh I am kind of like this. I don't want to be female if im going to be ugly but im worried I still will look weird after ffs and then not like my new life
>>6020013
You idiots realize they are talking about circumference right
>>6018776
OP, please hear me out.
First, there's no telling what's right for you. Only you know at the end of the day, and doctors only know what you tell them.
I attempted transition when I was in my late teens, DIY without any counseling or medical help. I felt exactly like you. I was a few months in and detransitioned after having the exact same feelings.
I went back to trying to be a straight guy. Fucking miserable.
I tried to be a gay guy.
A million times more miserable.
I regret detransitioning, but luckily fucked my late puberty up enough to still be on the fem side.
The feelings did NOT go away when I detransitioned. I was living a lie for years and finally hit rock bottom.
My hormones are so fucked and I looked like a ridiculous faggot of a man for those years. I'm transitioning again now, finishing what I started.
Don't expect the feelings to go away if you change your mind. It'll get worse and worse and eat you up inside living some double life. I understand this is a hard thing to talk about with the community - who tends to act hugboxy with an agenda. This sounds like an issue to work out with a psychologist who knows you well personally
Again, not saying that your life is analogous to mine, just saying that you can't expect it to be easy if you try to go back to being a man.
>>6019092
how come all the medical journals say it doesn't work, mr sciencey man
although worth pointing out thats only about gender identity disorder. gender dysphoria is a symptom that can stem from other things e.g. borderline personality disorder. my mate got his legal sex and everything changed and was on titty skittles and passing, but once his therapist made leeway with the bpd suddenly the gender dysphoria went away and he detransitioned
>>6018776
TL;DR so many posts and i'm lazy. my apologies if this or any similar statement was already made :D
Don't feel forced into a roll. don't try to be the one or the other. just be yourself. and if you feel girly go for it, wear makeup and a dress, and if you feels you don't want that today then don't and and go out as whatever you feel like.
It's your life and you have to feel good about yourself. and if switching it up a lot makes you feel better then go for it. who cares anyway :* Have a nice day
>>6018802
>Maybe I didn't try hard enough to be a man?
If you have to try hard to be something it's usually a pretty good indication that you shouldn't do this (as far as gendered behavior goes)
It's more likely to go in the opposite way (someone who tried to be a man recovering from dysphoria because they let their guard down and started acting and dressing more femme)
I've actually seen a few MtFtM detransitioners who claim they had genuine gender dysphoria and it disappeared permanently (as well as been through something like that myself though I'm a natal girl so I don't think it counts), but they always detransitioned to a femme guy rather than their previous male version
Being a regular man might be even more of a silly pipe dream for you than being a girl is
>>6021781
This OP
You've been pressured by the trans propaganda machine into believing you're a woman. You're not, you just have dysphoria, if you can't pass then that's OK, you just need to learn how to live with being a very feminine male, maybe in some more time once you grow out your hair you'll be able to partially pass.
>>6018802
>Maybe I didn't try hard enough to be a man?
But you already are a male anon. There's no "trying" to be a gender you already are.
>>6023365
It's already eating me up inside from being in boymode all the time.
>>6023544
You're probably right. Part of me is just freaked out by the thought of being single forever because I don't want to settle for a SJW. Also, western civilization is rapidly going to shit, and here I am not wanting to be a man. I'm part of the problem. Feels bad.
>>6023661
My hair is already grown out, and soft and shiny. Have to settle for feminine male, I guess.
>>6023882
Kek
You aren't a "man" by virtue of being male. You have to earn that title. Most of these "men" nowadays have no spine, and are mentally neutered. Yes, I realize how ironic it is that I complain about that.
>>6023912
>You have to earn that title
You are given that title once you develop into an adult male. That's what a "man" means. Everything else is personal and societal stuff you deal with.
>>6023940
I took hormones prepuberty. I have never been a man in my life.
>>6023978
Hormones or not you're still a man. Your an adult.
>>6023904
The white race is going extinct, we have too few children. I was born sterile, you are chosing to be.
>>6021448
>tfw there is none
