This is the Trans Help General thread. We'll try to help you here with everything related to being transgender.
This includes questioning, appearance, daily trans problems, medical info, general info and other interesting stuff to name a few.
MTF, FTM and questioning people are all welcome here to help eachother and discuss possible solutions.
You can also share your transgender related stories here. Just came out? Or you just need to get something off your chest?
Maybe something wonderful happened today! We'll be glad to hear it, it's always good to know we're not going through this alone.
Links:
Articles, Studies and General information about Questioning, Transitioning and other stuff: http://pastebin.com/CyW1dXV8
Lots of useful links about/for transgender people: http://pastebin.com/h1vLPxyV
Transgender FAQ: http://pastebin.com/8QbKyShU
Am i trans/ trans help threads archive:
http://archive.loveisover.me/lgbt/search/text/trans%20help%20general%20%23/username/annicole/type/op/
Therapists: http://www.t-vox.org/index.php?title=Therapists_by_region
http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php
sort by transsexual issues
What will hormones do?
mtf: http://imgur.com/lDBLSVR
ftm: http://imgur.com/HqTqvJg
Previous thread: >>5963723
1.5 months into HRT and I'm still horny as fuck, get erections almost every day.
Is this normal? Should I get my levels checked?
I had a high T level (600) before starting and a high sex drive.
Hola, ¿hay alguien de mexico (monterrey de preferencia) que sepa donde puedo conseguir hormonas (mtf)? gracias.
I got blood results back this week, I'm taking 100mg of cypro a day, 2mg finasteride and 4 mg of estradiol hemihydrate sublingually
my T was 0.6 ng/dL
my estrogen was 1370 ng/dL
so I'm lowering my dose down to 2mg of estradiol a day but i can't figure where it's all coming from. my doctor said it was worrying like i was gonna have a stroke in his office right then and there but that's barely into pregnancy levels. idk
thoughts on why my levels are like that? I'm 5'10 and 140lbs.
>>5992474
>ng/dL
Are you sure you got those units right? My levels are ridiculously high but you got almost 20 times that. I've been taking 6mg sublingually and dropped to 4 after this test.
E levels don't really say much when you take sublingually though, they bounce all over the place and peak ridiculously, and then drop just as fast. It's pretty much impossible to measure accurately with sublingual intake.
>100mg of cypro
Planning to die soon?
>>5992474
>100mg spiro
Holy shit
Also when did you had your blood taken relative to your E dose ?
>>5992514
*cypro
>>5992474
Was that E2 test done soon after you took a dose? Sublingual tends to produce very high initial levels that drop fast to more normal levels. For sublingual you really need to take the blood sample just before you take your next dose, and maybe one half way between doses.
>>5992528
>and maybe one half way between doses
That's when mine was taken.
Still a bogus amount, way too high compared to valerate treatment. You just can't measure appropriately. Divide the E in my blood by 7 and you have normalish levels for stable valerate treatment, but since my doses are 6 hours apart I'll never drop that low. Which is neither bad nor good anyway.
>>5992567
The number you care about is the 877.2 ng/L = 877.2 pg/ml. It's very high, except for a pregnant woman, but only 2 to 6 X normals for various parts of the menstrual cycle. you want to get down into the 160-200 pg/mL range.
Go to twice daily doses. Give it some time to settle down to a lower level between them. I could get high values all the time if I took the 4mg of micronized 17b-estradiol I take as 4 1mg doses. Instead I take 2 mg twice a day. I'm running 260pg/mL just before taking one so I may lower dose again. I may go to 1mg three times a day.
Hey there!
What exactly does progesterone do? Is it worth it taking it?
>>5992507
>>5992514
i'm p sure i got the units right yeah, idk what other units are used for blood hormones. its only 100mg cypro u pussy bitch, my liver test results came back great, my body is a workhorse when it comes to brutal chemical abuse, and i'm only doing it a few more months before i drop it to 50mg again. my balls are nonexistent as it is.
>>5992528
i had my test about 5 hours after my dose, i take twice daily, 8am and 8pm. i'm gonna get more tests once i've been on 2mg again a while.
my main concerns are will running that sort of estrogen levels damage my transition? im not worried about dvt, i had some minor surgery while on that dose and i didn't die so whatever, my body can handle shit
>>5992225
Looking at the ftm chart and since starting T, I've never had period, my face and hair became oily immediately, clit growth started days after first shot, male hair growth started within weeks, muscle mass and fat distribution occurred within a month, and so on, yet I still have a definite female voice. Even elementary school boys have a deeper voice than me right now. It's so frustrating to experience all changes earlier than average except for voice. Even my 'natural girl' voice is alto so it's not like there's a significant range to bring down. I shouldn't have to voice train or "talk deeply" to get a decent male voice, right? It's supposed to come naturally while on T?
>>5992839
>its only 100mg cypro u pussy bitch
>only
>my balls are nonexistent as it is.
Well, whatever. Super pointless to take such a high dose. Kinda as if I would take 800mg spiro for some dumb reason, PLUS finasteride. No sane person does that.
Plus you're telling me you got 13700 ng/l E2 in your serum a whopping 5 hours after intake. Take the other blood test posted here for reference, yours just can't be right.
If you want people to help you try to not act like a cunt.
>>5992864
before i transitioned mtf, i needed voice coaching because my voice didn't break properly. my ftm friend had all what you described, he's 3 years on T, had a decent beard, passes perfectly, still has a cracky, squeaky teen voice. idk how long you've been on T but chill and give it a little longer
I'm self medding in the UK but can't take spiro for health reasons
qhi is the only reliable, safe supplier I know and they don't have any other AAs
can anyone tell me what alternatives are available and where from??
>>5992875
sorry, the only reason i can think my estrogen levels are high is i'm intersex and i don't know how much my body pumps out naturally. i'm dropping down to 50mg cypro in 2 months, my plan was to go on 100mg for 6 months, shut down my test producing tissue hard, and then lower it and chill. thing is, if i take a lower dose of cypro right now, my body hair grows back fast and darker. now i'm actually getting my levels checked, i intend to play around with my doses more until i can speak to a specialist in a few months. already having lowered my estrogen dose my mood is effected and i'm sadder and more prone to having freakouts.
>>5992900
Bicalutamide from either ADC or Inhouse.
>>5992864
I'm on mobile so I can't be fucked, but Google "constansis ftm"'and read that. Basically, while it is strong stuff, you're not guaranteed a good male voice just from T. T isn't this "it just works" miracle transition drug that people tend to present it as, in keeping with the ftm easy mode meme.
>>5992922
>if i take a lower dose of cypro right now, my body hair grows back fast and darker
Why would that change in 2 months? That's a known side effect from discontinuing CPA.
Mood effects from estrogen dose variation tend to even out of if you give it a while. From my experience anyway.
>shut down my test producing tissue hard, and then lower it and chill
As much as you want it to, CPA is temporary, not a castration. And its effect is pretty much immediate, so there's no reason to wait for months for something to happen either.
>>5992969
i've seen people take initially very high cypro doses for a while and then lowering it, and a high enough dose for a certain period of time isn't exactly castration, but effective enough that the dose can then be lowered. i've been taking 100mg for 4 months now, it was 50mg for 4 months before that. i get no side effects from being at 100mg so honestly i'm fine with it as that. my test levels show it's working, the cypro is just a heavy handed approach before i get lupron in september anyway.
>>5993016
Meningioma can appear after years of CPA, not that you're at a particular risk if you plan to discontinue CPA anyway, but that's just to say just because you're fine now doesn't mean CPA is a medication to take ever lightly. It's got the most devilish list of side effects of all the AAs.
>>5992900
unitedpharmacies and pharmacygeoff
>>5990970
I've done it before while wearing a sock gaff. As long as you have a good, solid tuck, you should be fine. If you don't, though, watch out... :/ Things can get very, very painful.
Does anyone have a link to a good quiz that's not linked in the OP. The BBC and SAGE ones aren't working right for me and I took that COGIATI one back when I was in grade school.
>>5993967
Don't take quizzes. None of them actually work and all you want is affirmation anyway.
Just imagine you took one, and it came back‘not trans, should not pursue transition'. Are you disappointed? Then you're probably trans.
But you already knew that, because you're here, asking for quizzes that will give you permission or justification for feeling this way.
I'm sorry, I'm kind of in the same place as you, and wish it we're that easy, but even when you're pretty sure, the doubt comes back, hard, and the only way out is to talk it out. Go speak to a gender therapist, and tell them how you feel.
You're going to have to eventually, anyway ;)
I got a Logitech c270 HD webcam, but it looks like crap right now--the lighting is all weird. Is there any way to make the quality better?
Posted this on
but didn't get any helpful replies so I'm just going to copy paste it here.
>I'm 19 and have known the majority of my life that I'm transgender. I tried to kill myself at 14 because of this and was in the hospital for a few days where I had to lie to everyone about why I tried to do it. The thing that hurts the most is that I can't tell anyone. My family is extremely religious and would disown me in a heartbeat if I told them how I felt. I just don't know what to do I've been depressed for so long because of this and have not left my room for anything other than school/work for about 5 years. It's eating me up inside and I just keep spiraling deeper into depression. If I decide to move out and just transition (which I can't afford to do anyway) I would be completely alone no friends and no family and if I keep doing what I'm doing I'm just going to kill myself eventually. I really don't know what to do.
How do I stop hating myself for being a disgusting fucking degenerate?
Serious answers please.
>>5994066
The only thing I can think of is you could try to see if there are any charities or government programs or something like that would help you.
>>5994026
>Just imagine you took one, and it came back‘not trans, should not pursue transition'. Are you disappointed? Then you're probably trans.
>But you already knew that, because you're here, asking for quizzes that will give you permission or justification for feeling this way.
Kek...So true it hurts...It makes so much sense, and yet I still have so much denial. :<
>>5992444
I haven't started AA yet but when I cam to terms with being trans ~12 days ago, I haven't been horny, masturbated and only nominally erect infrequently and very briefly when I wake up.
It's great. Can't wait to see what happens with hormones.
>>5994049
Quality of Logitech webcams are so shit I just increase the brightness and contrast and put on a black/white filter.
FTM thinking about making the leap, but I have two problems on my mind:
1: I am cursed with DD knockers. Finding regular bras that fit is hard, and I know binders will be worse. I probably wont even pass with one on. Outside of straight up surgery, what do?
2: My male relatives are GIANT but the females are all tiny. I'm tiny. Does this mean hormones will make me into a giant, too?
Man this is frustrating.
>>5992839
>will running that sort of estrogen levels damage my transition?
No, you just increase the chance of cancer a tiny bit.
>>5992922
>intersex
Starting HT may have triggered estrogen production.
>>5994066
>get on anti depressants to lift your mood.
>Get a job
>get some income
>get into therapy
>start HRT
>move out 6 months after.
>>5995083
I have have a job but dont make enough to live on my own
>>5995078
You won't grow taller on hormones.
What can I do to maintain a beardless face and neck? Genetics have kinda dispositioned me to be hairy, which my job doesn't allow, and I don't want to sport a shadow beard by mid-shift either.
>>5993170
Thanks anon. I think Imma leave it unwrapped until I get better at it.
Should I be worried that I'm nearly a year on hormones but can still maintain a raging erection with no effort? I'm worried something is wrong. No cum whatsoever but I feel like it should be getting harder (lel) to maintain.
Bloodwork soon but I'm just worried shit is getting messed up somewhere.
is it better to be fat or thin or somewhere in the middle when you go on hormones?
or doesn't it matter?
I just want tits
>>5992900
QHI has cypro, search better.
>>5995876
Cypro is shit.
Get Bica or Spiro+Finasteride/Dutasteride.
>>5992900
Cypro is called Androcur on QHI
>>5995912
is it true bica is more effective on body hair then any other AA?
>>5995939
Bica is better in general. It functions where it actually matters - at the receptors. It does not block T production at all, but instead prevents it from binding, so even if you are androgen sensitive, bica does a better job.
Blocking T production is objectively inferior, as there will always be some T binding to receptors. Plus cypro is a fucking androgen itself, just deceptive because your T levels are getting in fact nuked, but that is only half the equation.
Spiro + Fina/Duta is my second choice because it has nowhere near the evil side effects of CPA and they both aren't androgenic either, nor a ridiculously potent progestin.
Should I lose more weight before starting HRT?
I am 67.5 kg / 180cm
thats 148 lbs / 5.9 feet
>>5995969
Uninformed bullshit.
>there will always be some T binding to receptors
That's factually false. Cyproterone is an androgen receptor antagonist in addition to its activity to reduce T synthesis.
>they both aren't androgenic either
Spiro is a weak androgen agonist like cypro, contrary to what you seem to think. It makes no sense to diss cypro because it's not a silent antagonist, then recommend spiro which is the same.
>Blocking T production is objectively inferior
>potent progestin
Having long-term reduction in testosterone levels and capacity for production (testicles degenerating) is objectively superior. Having progestative activity is objectively superior.
>>5995969
what about bica + fin/duta is that a good combination?
>>5992225
How safe is it to drink on hrt?
Im out of weed and need something to chill me out because this pain is killing me.
>>5995078
1. Binders don't have as many variables going on. It's just brand and size. Don't wear two binders, as doing so may collapse your ribcage and seriously injure you. As for what else to do, layers. And I tailor my clothing, but I'm a persnickety fuck.
2. You're unlikely to grow much, if at all. I know one guy in his early 20s who grew about an inch, but when your growth plates are fused it's over. There is such a thing as leg lengthening procedures, but that's expensive, extremely time consuming, and arduous in general. Maybe risky too, I don't know.
>>5996093
I guess just try bicalutamide alone and if you experience DHT-related issues (Body hair, hair loss), add a reductase inhibitor?
In the end that's what I found my endo do too, try this and that and see what I find feels right. Didn't seem very professional, admittedly, but some of these meds are so poorly researched, especially for trans treatment, maybe this is the best course of action afterall.
Seems a bit expensive though, bicalutamide costs a bunch and finasteride and dutasteride are nowhere near a spiro price tag either.
So I'm required to stop HRT 3 weeks before SRS. That's both estrogen and AAs. Any idea why I have to quit AAs? And why a whopping 3 weeks?
Being off estrogen I can live with but 3 weeks off AAs, I'm gonna die a thousand deaths. I'm tempted to not do it, as I've had surgeries while on HRT and there were no issues and I see no reason how an AA could cause any trouble? Plus I don't wanna cause a breakup with my BF while I'm there and I can totally see that happening when I'm losing my mind being on T.
>>5995078
gimme your god damn tits
is there a big risk of hair loss from forehead surgery or ffs in general? does it eventually grow back?
>>5992451
Hey, hola, soy de monterrey pero en realidad vivo en Japón por el momento. Si ves este mensaje en algún momento y quieres hablar me puedes buscar como elisa.claire en kik
No he empezado HRT pero investigué como conseguirlo en monterrey, así que tengo la información. Ahí te veo
>>5995981
Could lose a little for some more waistline, but not much. I'm 63.5kg / 177cm and i look fine. 180cm is closer to 5'11 though
>>5996373
Never mind the 5'11 comment, calculated it wrong :/
>>5995083
I thought it would have maybe started estrogen production because seriously 4mg is nothing. i was worried that high levels would idk damage estrogen receptors but a little bit of cancer, pills are only a temporary fix until i get injections. thanks Syndie
So, I could use some thoughts,..
So I just maybe kinda sorta came out to my best friend. I know I didn't do it how you're supposed to- I was drunk, very uncommittal, and didn't really explain myself very well. But I managed to say 'I might be transexual' out loud, which is a very big milestone for me.
The only thing is, now I'm thinking i shouldn't have. In my head I've heavily romanticised the idea of coming out, with shock, and acceptance, and truly opening up to another human being, and certainty and levity being rewarded upon me at the end.
This was none of that. I didn't explain myself at all, my friend didn't seem to care all that much, although he had to leave a few minutes after, and has messaged since saying he's there if i need to talk, and now I just feel... sick
I''m scared I stepped into this too soon, that I've only been thinking about this for a few months means I'm faking it, and that the strange anxious, sad, emptiness I feel just confirms that I'm an insane piece of shit that latched onto this, that this is something I have to remind myself to believe, that I should take the days when I don;t feel anything as moments of clarity
It scares me because the thought of transition makes me happy, but this step towards that hasn't
I'm sorry if this doesn't make any sense, I drank more after he left.
And I'm not really sure what I want out of this...
Well I am sure what I want, but I don;t know if it's affirmation or enabling...
Sorry for the blog post,,,
>>5996600
I've known for more than 2 years that I'm trans. I made a new facebook account and everything. I've slowly come out to more and more people as the time passes, and bought many clothes with the time.
I still doubt myself sometimes and corner myself into thinking I'm only deceiving myself for some reason.
I'd wager it's normal for trans people to have doubts like this.
>>5996600
Anon, this is exactly what I'm going through except I came out to my sister. You're really not alone right now. I'm a little terrified that this emptiness is going to be here to stay.
>>5994026
This.
Hello girls,
I would like to wear make up when I leave the house (and in general).
Are tinted creams a good start?
I don't want to do the full thing from the beginning.
>>5994212
>Watch episode 26 of NGE.
>Realize that you don't have to hate yourself, but could love yourself instead.
>??????
>PROFIT?!?!!?
>>5995078
1. Give me your breasts pls ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
2. They will not. Sorry family. I'm average guy size though, we can switch if you want.
I'm 19, in the UK, and my dad keeps shouting and screaming almost everyday, threating violence against me or to kill himself because, even though he knows I'm trans, he doesn't like not controlling how I look and doesn't like me even looking like a feminine guy.
Is there anything I can do to avoid homelessness if he forces me to leave home just because I don't look masculine enough for him?
>>5996707
You're 19 get the fuck outta there get a job find some roommates move to the city wtf you're an adult.
>>5996761
Where in bongistan are you?
If he makes you homeless ain't nothing the government or courts are going to do for you. You can apply for a council house and that's about it.
>>5996779
Fuck. I'm near Derby. I guess in the worst case I'll just have to deal with sleeping on peoples couches while looking to rent. Thanks for the info.
>>5996804
Sadly I'm not near you, otherwise I would have offered something up. But don't worry anon, try staying stealthy and working on changing jobs and residencies. Thing's look up soon enough.
>>5996761
Most min wage workers don't make enough to find a job. Go socialize, make friends, find someone looking for a roommate that way, or ask coworkers. Go to Craigslist for your area and go to the /roo/ section (Rooms and Shares), that's usually people renting out a single room for a fraction of the rent. I make bank and I still use /roo/ to get single rooms in houses, I don't need to waste money on a whole apartment or house.
And don't do the weird "live in free gay/female" thing, that's just weird and you need your home to be your mental sanctuary, not another job.
Is losing weight better or worse with hormones? I haven't been able to have a consistent scheduled for exercising with school and I want to start up again when school ends and I coincidentally start hormones by the end of the.
>>5994212
Try and avoid thinking about conservatives. You really don't need to depend on their opinion of you. There are many people in this world who value you as a person regardless of your transness.
Basically stop surrounding yourself with negativity and surround yourself with positivity. It isn't being weak and it isn't deluding yourself. It's a strategy for making your life better and becoming a better and stronger person. There isn't a single successful person in the world who hasn't somehow employed this strategy. It's essential and you deserve to use it.
What are you supposed to do about hair? I'm not on E or anything, but I've been questioning a lot of things about myself that I've felt since I was young and if I ever decided to transition I have no idea what I'd do with my hair. It's very thick, straight, and poofy and would probably take forever just to get it to grow down to my ears. Also, shoulders?
>>5997935
>Try and avoid thinking about conservatives
That's a bit difficult considering I am one.
>There are many people in this world who value you as a person regardless of your transness.
It's less about other people valuing me and more about my inability to value myself. /I/ feel that being trans is just inherently wrong on a base, moral level, and being cursed to be trans fucking sucks, to put it mildly.
>Basically stop surrounding yourself with negativity and surround yourself with positivity.
I can't really stop surrounding myself with negativity, when the negativity is inside my own head, a product of my own thoughts and mind.
I've tried to stop thinking about these sorts of things in the past, and it usually just ends up with me repressing either my traditionalist views and general disdain for degeneracy, or my trans feelings. And, as expected with repression, the feelings always comeback.
I need to find some way to meld the two, rather than having two disparate personalities that vie for control.
I hate being trans, but transitioning seems like the only way for me to be happy. The cognitive dissonance is tearing me apart.
>>5995479
so you would rather be a manlet
I want to do a trial run but, Spiro sounds terrible and I don't have a lot to lose.
Any thoughts? Should I buy another pack of Estradiol?
>>5998504
So your objections are about morality. What dictates what is good/bad to you ? (ie what is your source of morality ? )
If religion/"God said so"/metaphysical source, put on your fedora and drop the meme. You're now a physicalist, congrats.
From then, if your source is based on the physical world, drop that meme too. It is ultimately impossible to derive absolute moral truth from what exist in the physical world (is-ought problem). You've pruned the metaphysical as a potential source, so no solution here. Most "response" to the problem boil down to muh moral intuition, muh goals, or arguing semantics, which are all weak-ass objections.
If that work for you, then you know there cannot be absolute morality, and you can totally just transition and be happy for the only life you'll get.
>>5998832
Depends. You could do 20 day cypro only then 28 with E.
If you feel the craving to buy more after the 50 day, then the test is conclusive :^)
>>5998832
>cypro
Alright anon, you need to be on 25mg for at least 2 weeks before you start going 50+
Especially if you drink, and especially with oral estrogen. Spiro + finasteride is honestly safer. You just have to drink more water than you usually do. A lot more because I ended up getting a heat rash from dehydration in the middle of the night my second week. Just keep a water bottle with you 24/7
Is 50mg of cyproterone acetate a fairly average dose?
>>5998902
Yes, but you need to start lower and increase gradually or else bad things could happen.
>>5998911
Like what ?
>>5998890
finasteride, really...? I can give up drinking completely for this, not really sure about my diet though (high potassium) and I already have problems with hydration even though I'm constantly filling my water bottle.
>>5998001
Start growing it now, you can always cut it, but the sooner you start the sooner the awkward middle length stage is finished.
Yeast supplement supposedly makes it grow faster (not an outlandish claim but unsupported). It made me fart nasty, that's for sure.
>>5998969
I don't even know if my hair would look like it's supposed to though. I've never tried growing it out that long.
>>5996093
Kinda duplication. Bica blocks the AR receptors in all but the testicles. All fin and duta do is block conversion of T to DHT.
>>5996761
Hang out with friends as much as possible to decrease interaction with dad.
i'm definitely trans and i'm starting HRT next week. however, i don't plan on coming out to my parents until maybe a year or so into transition...when they can see that i can pass
the only issue is that my sister's wedding is in october, and i would need to be able to present as a boy. is ~5-6 months of hormone therapy going to be impossible to hide
>>5999509
As long as you wear a loose shirt to hide any breast growth, you'd be fine.
>>5996156
it's three weeks. suck it up princess
>>5996156
Have you tried asking the doctor? It's a pretty valid patient concern.
>>5996156
Warn you bf you'll be moody as all hell those weeks, and why too. If he doesn't understand, he deserves the boot.
>>5999509
I think you're overestimating how much breast growth you'll get in 6 months.
The answer is usually not very much, enough that you can hide quite easily.
How long will it take for my sperm to come back once I'm off AA's? I know I'm sterile at the moment but I kinda wished I had banked some sperm before I started.
Is it possible to stop and bank some then start again?
>>5996631
>>5996619
Thanks for the responses, I know these feelings are pretty typical, and that I'm not alone; and I knew these were the responses I'd get, and they really make me feel better.
But even with all that I can't push past the doubt. I guess this is an internal battle...
>>5996631
If you need someone to talk to hmu
>>5999796
It depends on the AA you used, some cause permanent sterility while some just cause it while you're on it.
If you used Cypro, you're fucked. Spiro, on the other hand, you might be okay in a month. Not sure about the timing, though. Just a guess.
Keep in mind that whatever sperm you do have left is likely damaged, and the kid's probably gonna be fucked up as a result. Not guaranteed, but the odds are definitely not in your favor.
Even if you did use Cypro, you might be able to get some sperm through surgery (testicular sperm extraction). Might. Don't count on it.
>>5996677
>>5996211
>1. Give me your breasts pls ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
If I could I would. No joke. I'd just go *pop* "You can haz boobs." and the world would be a better place. Every time I meet a t-gal we always wistfully joke about body swaps. Hurry up mad science, you need to make some people happy!
Family swap? Sure, why not. Get to it, mad scientists! Lol.
Oh well, guess I'll do my exercises and deal with being a manlet. Being short beats having to buy clothes at hard to find specialty shops for three times the price or hand making everything you wear forever. I don't envy my male relatives. Besides, I think shorter to average guys are cuter so I'm just joining the club!
>>5996109
Yeah, I have heard some horror stories about binders and big breasts, which is part of the apprehension. I'm hoping just wearing one will be OK. You're right on the layering, though. Thankfully I already layer out of habit so that shouldn't be hard to adapt to a smaller rack.
>>5999796
Maybe, maybe not. There are no studies on how many will get sperm production back after X months of HRT. Some do, some don't. If you want to bank it, I'd do it now.
>>5999870
Hm OK I'm on spiro. I might just say fuck it, the chances of me actually getting a kid even if I banked some seems very low, plus I don't want to go off my meds and have T back in my body.
>>5999877
I wish it was the thought that counts.
You have some sort of messaging app? I could use more FtM's in my life.
>>5999934
I don't really use messaging stuff, but I do have email. Here's a throwaway that should forward to my real one if you want to shoot me a message. Just mention you're from 4chan and I'll reply when I can. I can be... err... slow... heh. [email protected]
>>5999998
thanks senpai
Everyone I've messaged and met irl from 4chan has turned out to be surprisingly wonderful.
>>5999509
Is that you in the pic? Because if so hot dang.
>>5996015
What? Source?
got a gender dysphoria diagnosis at the shrink the other day
is this the part where I go to the informed consent provider, get blood work, etc? I'm in the USA.
Hi, I'm new to th /lgbt board but this seemed like the most valid place for my question, and I'll give some back story to maybe help myself a little bit. I was just wondering where I can find trans women in my area? You see I have a little bit of an admiration of the trans community in that they are brave courageous people who know who they are, so I wanted to maybe open up and see about dating a trans woman, problem is I don't know where to meet them. Any help is much appreciated and I apologize if any of what I just said came across as ignorant or negative in anyway, like I said I'm new, thanks again.
Send help
when I dress in women clothes o get hard
how to prevent it?
I'm not on hormones and wont be able to start soon.
>>6001157
If you actually have a informed consent clinic near you, you could have gone there first off and cut the shrink out entirely.
That's what informed consent means, they inform you of the risks and benefits of the treatment/procedure you want, they verify you're of a sound mind and can give your consent, you sign a consent form, they take your blood, and boom, you get hormones, no shrink needed at any point.
At this point, your shrink will probably write you a referral to any endocrinologist (hormone specialist) though. That's the normal process, the shrink tells the endo you are legit trans, and then the endo will take your blood and give you hormones, which most endos can not do without a referral from a mental health professional.
>>5998848
I used to have these deeply held beliefs that shaped the very foundation of my being, beliefs that were forged through a lifetime of experience and thought.
But then when a tripfag on an anonymous taiwanese tapestry imageboard told to "drop the meme" and gave me some shitty Philosophy 101 arguments on morality, well, all my beliefs just washed away and I believed everything they said.
Excellent post, well memed my friend.
Therapist told me that because I'm young (18) i have platy of time to consider transition
what can testosterone do to me (besides facial hair) If I'll wait 1 year
>>6001268
>forged through a lifetime of experience and thought
That's very euphoric of you :^)
Anyway you know what your problem is. I don't think you'll be able to drop the trans meme; better get busy on brainwashing yourself with liberal propaganda to clear those deeply-held beliefs.
>>6001303
DO. NOT. WAIT.
Its a good test if you can stand being on HRT for 3 months. If you still want to continue, great it was probably a good idea! If you want off after then and its not for you, not much harm is done at all.
But really you are at a good age, get the ball rolling ASAP. Every year, every month, every day, every fucking second you delayed you will look back on with suicidal regret.
>>6000949
There's almost no scientific sources on it, only some exercise sites and anecdotes. But the idea is pretty reasonable; sedentary lifestyles tend to cause backs to hunch and compresses the cartilage between the spine. So it would reason that correcting your posture will add a few inches depending on how much you hunch, it's like puffing your chest out but all the time. Then most sites tend to claim that with stretching or muscle training, it's possible to expand the cartilage giving you another 1-5 inches. Not sure if it's true but exercise is good, so why not.
http://www.livestrong.com/article/352354-exercises-for-getting-taller/
http://growtallerwithshinlengthening.com/height-increase-in-torso.html/
>>5999850
Thanks sweetie!
You too!
After confessing that I'm questioning if I'm trans to my psychiatrist he immediately changed my prescription from an SSRI (Prozac) to a SNRI (Duloxetine). This is most likely because I expressed doubt in the efficacy of the prozac, but seeing as I've seen this sort of stuff mentioned in this thread before, do you think he's trying to 'cure' me? As in, he thinks some other mental issue is causing dysphoria and he's trying to eliminate it with medication.
It's hard to tell because he simply writes the prescription; I have a counsellor who I do all the soul searching with; so it's both difficult to express how I feel with him and difficult to understand where he stands on said issues, as we have such a short amount of time, and don't know each other very well.
>>6001998
It's standard practice to switch antidepressant family after 2-3 months if it is reported ineffective. Probably nothing malicious here.
>>5999329
I heard from another in one of the previous threads that DHT has a greater affinity than bica to the androgen receptors which is why i thought it might be a good idea, know if this is true?
>>6001303
Don't just sit around. Do something. You can expedite the decision process with your therapist if she's knowledgeable about this subject.
>>6001219
That's not something you should be ashamed of.
Is 2mg Estrofem a good dose to start at?
>>6002157
probably not
but i don't like it ;_;
>>6002102
Relevant
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12496872
http://strawpoll.me/7333088
>>6002284
Outnumbered 3-1...
;_; I'm sorry I'm not trutrans like you bitches...
>>6002311
Nah man, I'm in the same category as you too. Was just wondering about other people.
>>6002311
Had to wait to be 18 to do anything about it, though.
Also don't sweat it, nobody fits perfectly the narrative, yet everytranny seems to want to arbitrarily draw the line so as to legitimize oneself and exclude everything less "TruTrans". That's stupid. You're fine.
>>6000641
yep :) thanks
My first appointment will be this week. Is there anything I can do to prepare and is there anything I need to know? If it matters, I'm ftm.
>>6002262
thanks
>>6002443
You should be as knowledgeable as you can be about hormone therapy. Know the risks. Don't say anything that might "scare" the doctor, like threaten suicide. They will be partly responsible for your well being if they provide you care. This isn't to suggest you lie or withhold important information. Bring a letter of recommendation from a therapist or trans support group. This last thing I didn't do, and as a result my doctor has continually refused to provide treatment for the last two months.
Is hair removal cream worth looking into for someone who shaves every day but still isn't satisfied with the results, or should I go straight to an epilator?
>>6002646
It's a first appointment for someone who can diagnose me with gender dysphoria. Not sure what that's called in english.
>>6002651
i would go with the epilator. i tried nair a couple times and its not much more effective than shaving. irritates your skin a little less maybe?
>>6002655
This has all the information you need: http://www.wpath.org/uploaded_files/140/files/IJT%20SOC,%20V7.pdf
Any sites you people recommend for clothes and shoes, and maybe makeup?
How does the pain from an epilator compare to the pain from waxing your legs?
Electrolysis hurts like a bitch (though it's on my face) and waxing my legs barely hurts at all, but I've heard an epilator is much worse.
>>6002748
Depends on where you are.
If US or Canada I think the best answer is probably amazon
UK has amazon too, but I don't know how it compares, but I've used both boohoo and asos, and the packaging has been discreet, and it was cheap.
In Australia, where I am, you can use all of the above except amazon, and if you need your new clothes fix asap, and don't mind paying a little extra, The Iconic has next day delivery in (I think) all the capital cities. And of course, discreet packaging.
Shoes are tricky if you're big. Just add a size and a half to your size and thats ladies, so if you're an 11 1/2 like me, you're a 13 ladies. The thing is, most sites usually only carry up to a 10 or 11, meaning you're going to have to pay a premium at a specialty outlet, either for large women or trans people.
And the shoes are usually uglier too :'(
Make up you're on your own, sorry, but I'm interested in seeing the answers, if anything so i can stop stealing my family's :P
Been self-medding for 5.5 months on spiro and progynova, about to start blood tests, GP knows I'm doing it. Want to switch to Androcur. Should I still start at 25mg before ramping it up or is leaping in at 50mg okay at this stage?
Should I take it before or after meals? Half of the dose 12 hours apart, or all at once? Any side effects to watch for? The instruction are probably gonna turn up in Polish 'cause QHI.
>>6003329
Did basically what you describe. Took 50mg/day from the start. Ramped down the spiro for a week but that was probably useless.
25mg (split)+2mg progynova breakfast and dinner (Reasoning : i will take the E in two doses anyway, might as well smooth cypro levels too). With meal 'cause steroids.
QHI's (Bayer) Androcur comes with english leaflet. (With nothing of value in it tbhon). The generic cypro is from a well known UK generic manufacturer, less sketchy than the spiro manufacturer (from my search the pills avtually comes from germany through multiple virtual companies), and cheaper so I switched to that.
Have a contigency plan should you be unable to order again/order not coming in time : it's really not recommended to come off cypro cold turkey so always have a month worth in store to ramp down, and order in advance.
(Also it's wonderful against erections)
Oh and if your skin and sclera turn yellow, you fucked your liver real good. To know beforehand if your frying it, ask for total transaminases+bilirubin+gamma gt in you bloodtest.
>>6003450
I'm having liver toxicity tested regularly starting soon, yeah.
My skin is always yellowish anyway so that's kinda tricky.
>>5997818
Depends. Are you MtF? Fuck no. FtM? Yes.
Any good sources of makeup help online? Need some serious assistance. Halp
>>6003557
Different anon, but I'm skinnyfat and think my chances are p. good for how my body will look on estrogems. Only issue I have is my huge muscular horse legs (my old job involved a lot of running around and lifting shit), how fix
>>6002102
Sounds like it does. >>6002262
It tells me Fin or Duta is also needed to stop T->DHT conversion. With bicalutamide you'll still have plenty of DHT floating around that can bind. DHT is quite potent. Bica now looking much less ideal than before. Especially considering it's high incidence of bone loss. T is needed for proper bone maintenance, and bica blocks that use.
>>6002311
Don't worry, you figured it out. That's what is most important. I figured it out early, but went through periods of denial/repression. Finally got on hormones at 16, then was stuffed into conversion therapy when 20. That fucked me up bad.
>>6003537
Get your liver tested as soon as possible. You may already be having liver issues.
>>6003694
no no my skin's been like that since I was born
>>6003537
Are the whites of your eyes turning yellow too?
>>6003694
>Bica now looking much less ideal than before.
i was thinking the same thing but considering that bica apparently can preserve fertility longer than alternate AA's i'll probably continue using it and fin and might switch to progesterone as a 5-AR inhibitor
Is it normal that i sometimes feel like i am a cis girl with female genitals? I mean i am aware that i am a male, but it just feels like i don't have or i am not supposed to have a penis and feel like i have a vagina.
>>6003818
lmao you men never cease to amaze me
I feel like I've opened Pandora's tranny box when I shouldn't have. I managed to stop visiting this board for a couple of months, but the big question is still there. I can't stop wishing I wasn't asexual/aromantic. I can't stop feeling a bit anxious and disgusted when I look at the older men in my family. I can't stop wishing on some level, whenever I see a beautiful cis girl, that I was born the other sex. Now I understand why I always looked at girls the way I do, or at least I've deluded myself well enough into believing that.
I don't really want to become a girl, It's not like I can start acting like one or even like I want to. I just see no interest or comfort in being a man in all aspects of life where gender is relevant.
I don't know how much of this is me piecing together something that was always there, or just doing too much introspection since quarter-life crisis has been eating me inside. I've started seeing a shrink for depression, but when I mentioned that I didn't feel particularly closer to my father just because we were both male or that I didn't feel masculine in the first place, she seemed a bit bemused. I don't even know if I'll have the courage to bring up asexuality with her. It seems like everyone around me assumes that sexuality is never an issue and that I don't need to talk about it when it's the shadiest part of my identity.
I guess it'll sort itself out eventually, I just need a bit of release and I have no one for this kind of conversation IRL.
feeling suicidal
just want it all to end
dont want to put that to my fiance through that because i love him.
too scared to tell him that hes the only thing keeping me from killing myself
wat do?
>>5992225
The best help you can get is a bullet.
So what exactly do anti-androgens do? Can I get them online or over the counter or do I need a prescription? How do I know if I'm taking the right kind?
>>6004575
Get help. Go to a psychologist. Talk to them. You can find ones that work on a "sliding scale" based on your income so they won't be expensive. Either way, get help.
>>6004527
Perhaps it's your discomfort with your body that makes you asexual? You also might just have a lot of baggage related to your dad. Talk to your shrink about this sort of stuff. Weirdos on the internet can only take you so far...
>>6003818
Welcome to the world of Genderqueer. Here's your official badge and mental vagina. Oh wait, you already had the second one. Have a complimentary hat instead. Seriously, though, it's not too weird. Sometimes it can lead to trans, but others you're just a chick with a dong. Some American tribes call these "two-spirits".
>>6005197
>Genderqueer
>two-spirits
She's fucking trans, not some fucking made-up gender bullshit.
>>6005236
calm your autism
>>6005236
>made-up gender bullshit
>trans help thread, not an anti-trans post
>no self-awareness
>>6003791
bica is schedule X known mutagen for pregnancy. They also say don't get a gal pregnant while using it.
>>6003818
I do that all the time. You aren't alone.
>>6004527
You sould liejk a good gender therapist would help you sort things out. 4can is natoriously bad at that. Just look at the comment >>6003826 above yours.
>>6004575
This >>6005166
There are also help lines that you can call.
>>6005236
two-spirit is the umbrella term a group of LGBT Native Americans came up with to refer to themselves.
Uhm, I'm very confused about the E source I'm self-medding on (Activelle).
Each pill has 1 mg of 17beta-estradiol and 0,5 mg of noretistherone acetate.
I looked up what the second one is on wikipedia, and it's apparently a 'steroidal progestin with additional antigonadotropic (and hence antiandrogen and antiestrogen)[2] effects that is used as a hormonal contraceptive.[3][4]'
Two problems with that, both related to it apparently being an anti-androgen and an anti-estrogen:
-If it's anti-androgen, should I cut on my spiro dose?
-If it's anti-estrogen and I'm taking 3 pills a day, should I uptake my dose?
I have no doctor to ask these things to, sorry. ;-;
>>6003818
I get "phantom limb" sensations too. Often when I'm really focused I just forget that my body and brain have some crossed wires. Feels good, but the comedown kinda sucks.
i hate myself for being trans how can i fix this feeling i have just recently accepted that i am trans.
Has anyone here had facial feminisation surgery? I'm hoping to get it as soon as possible but haven't been able to find many first-hand accounts. Just wondering what it was like, what to expect, etc.
I'm not a trans person but I'm a boy and I thought y'all could answer this. I've been taking pueraria mirifica for a month or so and I swear I can feel these little bumps under my nipples. Like buttons or something. Can I make them go away and what is it exactly because it's kinda spooky
Does anyone have any experience of being outed before they were ready?
It sort of just happened to me and I feel sick and ashamed even though nothing bad is going to come of it, I would just have liked to be sure and do it on my own terms...
>>6006862
It's a herbal supplement literally marketed as something that grows boobs? If you didn't want boobs why are you taking it and why are you surprised?
>>6006881
What mental illness?
>>6006885
My gay alcoholic friend outed me in front of some people who didn't know. Some of them knew but most didn't. I sort of just hid my face.and almost starting bawling then everybody got mad at him for outing me, and it was all better.
>>6006177
All that means is it stops production of whatever your natural sex hormone is in the gonads, not any external sources. It's not competing for estrogen receptors,it's just castrating you.
>>6006959
Oh, hooray!
Should I cut back on spiro then?
>>6006959
And thanks for replying, by the way. I was getting worried. >.<
>>6006939
Man that sucks,glad it kind of ended well
My therapist outed me to my parents, and they're accepting, but I really wasn't ready to tell anyone, I don't even know for sure 2bh...
At least I know it's probably not gonna get around...
>>6007068
No.
>>6001998
>tell doctor med isn't working
>surprised he switches it
>>6005197
I don't think I'm genderqueer. I have enough dysphoria that got me clinically depressed and want to transition into a woman completely.
>>6003791
>bica preserve fertility
True http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11260298
>progesterone as a 5AR inhibitor
Bad plan for fertility and DHT reduction, IMO. It's not clear what dose is necessary/ sufficient to inhibit correctly. And if taken orally (vs as a cream on your scalp), you will also reduce T levels (antigonadotropic feedback) which is bad for fertility.
>>6007555
Well I was mainly just worried because I saw someone mention earlier some relationship between either SSRIs or SNRIs and symptoms that may be confused with dysphoria, or alleviation of dysphoria.
Also before I mentioned the dysphoria he said he was gonna either up my prozac or add something on top of it, and changed his mind when I brought it up.
I've been trying to become more more trap like without doing anything that'll mess my body up. I read that triclosan acts kind of like estrogen in the body and gets absorbed through the skin via hand sanitizer. Does germ-x have any in it? It doesn't mention it in the ingredients list, but I can't find anywhere that single moms with a god complex reccomend it for being triclosan free.
how do you fight this
>>6008023
Hide the spiro better. Alternatively, play it off as a prescription from the dermatologist
>>6008023
have a healthy relationshit with parents. don't fail life
>>6008047
do you want to smoke weed? y / N?
Would you kill yourself if you didn't transition? Y /N?
choices
>>6008053
Weed?
Don't care about weed.
>Would you kill yourself if you didn't transition?
Yes
>>6007587
>Bad plan for fertility and DHT reduction
I was thinking progesterone 50mg/1ml IM'd monthly to mimic the menstruation cycle, bad idea?
>>6001268
Then why are you here? No one owes you shit. Get a shrink if you're having a hard time getting over yourself.
>>6001418
This person gets it.
>>6008066
Then transition.
If things are still unbearable afterward, no matter the reason, killing yourself is still an option. So don't do it until you've exhausted all the other ones.
>>6008129
It's not a bad plan in itself but it seems a bit at odds with your goals (using progesterone instead of finasteride, and keeping your fertility potential)
1/ It is unknow if that dose is sufficient to block DHT production significantly.
2/ Estrogen and progesterone have a negative feedback on testosterone production in the testes, through the HPG axis. (T has too but it's blocked by bicalutamide). Bicalutamide is fertility-preserving in prostate cancer patients because it does not significantly reduce testosterone level in the testes (lack of which would lead to them degenerating -> infertility). You are already taking exogenous E, which decreases your T production; taking progesterone will further reduce it. Which is presumably not the direction you want to go fertility-wise.
>>5995747
Unless you're on cypro, you should have overall weaker erections (harder to maintain, not as stiff) and no cum / scentless clear liquid.
If you don't masturbate for a several days, it should feel 'tight' and uncomfortable. At least that's my experience.
>>5995777
Thinner the better, since any additional weight you put on will go to good places. It's also harder to lose weight on whoremones.
>>6009060
>no cum / scentless clear liquid
I'm 2 years on hormones and still cum. Should I be worried? Endo says my bloodwork is fine but I have never seen the results myself. I get lupron injections every 3 months.
>>6009069
Always look at the results yourself. A L W A Y S
So yesterday i asked a friend to take a photo of my back and well, its fucking huge compared to my waist, I know I'll never look female but is there anyway to make myself look at least a little curvier?
>>6009076
She won't give me the results.
>>6009089
waist training corset?
>>6009095
I'm pretty sure in the US it's illegal to withhold results if the patient asks for it.
>>6009102
where to get waist training corset?
Reposting:
First appointment with an endocrinologist tomorrow. Hoping to get a prescription for HRT.
Has anyone here been denied HRT for not presenting female enough? I'm wondering if I should go dressed as en femme as possible so the doctor takes me seriously. If all else fails, I still have a letter of recommendation from a therapist, but I want to cover all my bases.
How do I make myself more feminine I'm 18 and I'm stupid tall and I have big feet even for a boy. Also how do I convince myself to grow my hair out I always feel shitty about being trans and shave it off while crying. Just like I used to throw away my girl clothes. Just general tips and stuff for feeling and looking better when I dress would be nice.
>>6009194
Maybe there's review of that particular endo. (googling "dr name + trans", you may find something, even if it's Susans it may be useful)
And yeah, these kind of idiot do exist, so if it's a no cost to you, do come as fem as possible.
>>6007875
None of those herbal or whatever remedies do anything. If you want feminisation pretty much the only way is to do some form of real HRT.
>>6009194
You shouldn't have to. Go dressed however you want.
>>6009200
We can't make you accept yourself, only you can.
Just know it's not the end of the world if you're trans, even if you and many people before you think it is. You're 18 you'll probably turn out fine - it can get better, you can be happy, all that.
Anyway. Can you get the ball rolling on the whole therapist-hormones-... stuff ? May help you.
>>6009219
I know, but that's not something I want to commit to. Also, that didn't really answer my question.
>>6009186
http://www.corset-story.com/
I got mine here
So it's been about 9 months since I've made my appointment me the Nottingham gender clinic and I haven't gotten a reply yet. What should I do they said it would take 10 - 12 months but shouldn't I have gotten a reply or something?
Image of me by the way. Since the last year I've been toning legs. I recently cut my hair since it gets too curly. Any tips please
Does anyone know of a good therapist in Columbus OH?
Trying to go to one so I can start mones.
>>6001219
That's not possible; you can't control erections under any other circumstance so why would you be able to do it in this one?
>>6009438
Your question is retarded since even if it does have triclosan in it that's not going to do anything to help you look how you want to.
any mtf that just started HRT who want to keep me posted via IM of some sort? like under a month into it i mean
>>6009683
I'm starting this month if you want me to keep you posted whenever my pills arrive/I get a response from a legit GP
>>6009699
sure what IMs do you have? skype maybe?
>>6009742
Kik, Email, Messenger, Hangouts, WeChat, Slack, GroupMe
I won't install Skype though :/ sorrow
>>6009772
uh i got kik and telegram so kik i guess
kik: joeyj818k
Is it normal to feel like your reasons for being trans are less about the whole "woman trapped in a man's body" thing and more about feeling like as a man there are certain expectations society has for you that you have no desire to meet? And that you think you would be more comfortable with meeting the expectations society has for women?
Not saying that's all there is to it for me, but it's just an idea I've been toying with here.
>>6010348
I think so. I've never felt like 'a woman trapped in a mans' body. Because I've only ever felt like me so how could I compare?
>>6010348
I think they call that social dysphoria.
>>6010348
definitely can be a part of dysphoria
>>6001217
Thats nice. But never ever tell them that shit. They will dump your ass for it. From what I gather trans women wants to be as cis woman as possible. That means you have to put your straight face on and man the fuck up. It's better in their eyes if you tolerate the dick than if you love it. Just treat them like a normal cis girl.
My trans friend is impressionable. She tells me that "feminism" asserts that she is innately bad /harming cis women for being trans. She also seems to think that she should refuse support because she's a tough case & she thinks accepting support &then not getting better is "wrong".
I think she's kinda dumb, but I am also dumb so I'd what to tell her. What do I tell her?
>>6010348
Are you me?
>>6010348
Yea it's called being a spineless loser who doesn't want to take any sort of real responsibility and proactive role in their life.
Lot of men transition because of this because women can be passive pieces of boring shit their entire life and no one gives a fuck
>>6010817
But to not be a spineless loser who doesn't want to take any sort of real responsibility and proactive role in their life you need those base desires there. Men study hard, work out etc to get access to pussy of acceptable quality. If you really look at it ultimately boils down to sex.
If you don't really want that cis male fantasy then you are running on nothing other than empty ideals and external expectations. That's not enough to really want to do anything. To get something you have to really want it in the first place, not because your parents said you should.
>>6010817
>>6011032
To be honest, admitting that I'm trans is the first time in my life that I wanted to take a proactive stance in my life.
Before it was like I was on a bad acid trip. Where everything sucked super hard so I figured I might as well clean the house as a distraction because I knew morning would come and then I'd be feeling better and have a clean house too.
Except with my life I wasn't sure I'd ever come out of my bad trip. I kept studying and working but only out of hope that if I ever didn't hate myself my life wouldn't be in shambles.
Glad I did. Now that I can admit to myself that I want to be the little girl I am way more proactive because I'm not merely keeping house but feel that my future is worth living and building towards.
Just my $0.02
How fast did your nipples start to get puffy on HRT? I've been on it for not even 3 weeks yet, but I woke up this morning with sensitive nipples and the tiniest bit of growth.
being a tranny is probably the worst thing ever about me
it's 100% chance of me killing myself
why is it so cruel to have urges to be something you cannot be ?
I feel like I'm about to cry for the last two days but the tears won't come. It seems like I'm still holding onto my old male ego in a way and when I'm able to cry about my having my heart broken over a boy for the first time it will let me start with a fresh perspective but I can't make myself cry and I can't let go no matter how much I tell myself I want to.
Any advice?
>>6011072
I kinda know how you feel. I pretty much just sit in my room day in and day out because I either have no desire to do anything or hate/am too uncomfortable with myself to go out and do the things I actually do wanna do. Before deciding to transition, I had absolutely no goal in life that I could work toward. Hopefully transitioning will help fix that.
>>6011388
Cause you know all your other flaws are things you can work on and fix, but with this you're just plain fucked, and you feel like shit more days than not. If you haven't already considered/started, you should at least think about trying transitioning. You can always kill yourself if it doesn't work out. That's my plan at this point.
>>6010734
She sounds like me. I don't think she can be helped desu.
>>6010817
lol yep. because i don't appreciate being obliged to learn carpentry or whatever based on my penis makes me spineless and not proactive.
except that transitioning requires making a proactive choice or two and taking some big risks. but hey, whatever feeds into your epic anti-cuck alt-right belief system.
>>6011388
Transgenderism is a mental disorder. Much like the people that want to get rid of their arms or legs. Trust me friend, just go to therapy and work it on out. The only group that rivals the transgender suicide rate is the schizophrenic community. I'm a homosexual talking out of a place of empathy.
>>6012036
>just go to therapy and work it on out
If that actually worked, people wouldn't need to transition. I'm fairly certain it's not something that therapy alone can work on and bring to any level of manageability for most trans people.
>>6010734
Might not be exatly what you're looing for but try this: http://alyx.io/feminism/2014/05/24/trans-people-and-dialectics-of-sex-and-gender/
You can ignore the marxist/proletarian feminist stuff if you'd like, I still think it's a good read to understand a trans woman's place in feminism.
My therapist keeps encouraging me to explore my feelings of dysphoria and I keep trying to explain them away with my being mentally ill: The Movie: The Game.
I can't stand being like this.
Lobotomy when?
Hello. Don't have anyone in my life to talk to so shit I might as well post here. I guess I kinda just want to talk about something I have been going through. Background info: 18 year old mtf transgender (self diagnosed) living as a man because puberty ravaged me leaving me 6'3", broad shoulders and deep voice. I don't think I will transition. I think that I would be happier on a safe bet. I'm told I am handsome (who tf knows) but I know if I were to go on hormones I would probably be an abomination. Since I was about 13 I have wavered back and forth in a suicidal frame of mind. But I can't kill myself, it would destroy my family and friends. Something that has been really hurting lately is when I'm disregarded because of me being born as a guy. Let me explain. I play a game called star wars the old republic, it's a lot of fun and I love to role play. I RP a female and it feels really nice. But eventually I'm always asked "are you a guy or girl irl". When i painfully respond with guy... It gets really awkward. Sometimes people will message me because my character is so cute and ask me if it cute in real life, and when I tell them in a guy they just stop taking to me. I can't really blame them, but it hurts really bad. It's just that I didn't chose to be a masculine monstrosity and I wish people would look deeper at me then my gender. I'm not a SJW or feminist so I don't really get offended easily but I'm sensitive on the inside and it stings. It's the same deal with websites like omegle, the second I admit I'm a guy I get hung up on because no one loves me for who I am just the way I appear to be.
I'm not expecting pitty, it would be nice to know someone read this though. I'm considering getting a therapist.
Pic not related, it's mai waifu
Should I try to transition and kill myself when that fails or try to repress and kill myself when that fails?
>>6012252
Try. On even a 1% chance you make it and become happy. Its better than giving up if you already know the outcome of doing nothing.
>>6012230
I know that this doesn't straight up address all of your concerns, but why bother even telling them you're a guy? Unless you're planning on meeting them irl, just say you're a girl and move on. :/ Worst case they get really creepy and stalker-ish and you can end the conversation on your terms. It's what worked for me (though not before I ended up having someone fall for me...).
>>6012294
Lying feels wrong. If I get close enough to someone they will obviously want to voice chat maybe even Skype. What do I do then?
How do i tell if i hate my body so much because I'm trans, or I think I'm trans because I hate my body so much?
I feel like I exhibit the symptoms of dysphoria, and I desire transition, and I find it far easier to imagine my future self as female or genderless as opposed to male, but i feel like i could be making all of this up because i hate myself so much...
>>6012352
did you pick to be born male? no. did you ever try life as female? no. who is to say life wouldn't be going better for you if you were a female? since male life is all you have known, you don't know what you're missing because you have never experienced it. if you're out of options, go for it.
>When you can't remember if you took your blocker with dinner or not and you are worried if you take one now it'll be 200mg at once or if its better to wait until morning and be safe but miss a dose
>>6012415
Just miss the dose desu. ODing on spiro is brutal. You don't want muscle spasms.
Or count how many pills you have.
