Hi, MTF here. I am not on HRT yet (have to go through small psychology therapy, should be okay afterwards) but I realized the thought of being girly with this body scares the shit out of me. Like wearing a dress for example. Is it normal?
Also that applies to pronouns when I talk to people IRL about it. I am just quite never sure but my body screams and it hurts.
TL;DR: I want to be girly but somehow I am scared the shit out of it and want to wait for HRT to take effect.
Transitioning is a process, one that takes time. I have heard of some people that come out and present female straight away (even before hormones) but I've known more that wait, take hormones and take gradual steps toward presenting more female.
I believe it is normal to be afraid of being 'girly' in a body that was poisoned by testosterone, has been treated male it's whole life, viewed as male.
So when you make the switch yeah it's gonna be terrifying, you have to worry about if everyone is looking at you and knows, encounters that were normal before can become shitty, but it gets better (slowly).
And no one is saying you have to wear dresses, wear whatever you want really.
It's normal to be scared of massive changes in your life... and, although I'm going to get shit for this on /lgbt/, desu you don't actually have to be girly after transitioning. The purpose of transitioning is to help manage dysphoria. You may be transitioning to a girl, but the great thing about feminism is that there isn't really anything specific you have to do to be a girl. Dresses, painting your nails, makeup, etc. Those are things imposed upon being a woman by society, but these things do not actually define being a woman.
If you want to wear baggy tshirts and jeans instead of dresses, that is perfectly ok! And if you want to slowly change over time until you're more comfortable wearing feminine clothing, that's ok too. You don't have to do everything at once.
And the pronouns thing is normal. It feels like people are mocking you when you clearly don't pass but they're like 'omg you go girl!'
What? Twi actually sensible and coherent answers? Am I still in 4chan?
>>5905625
>>5905674
Alright, I see!
Thing is that in my mind, I really want to be able to dress more girly and I think that it is something I want to achieve someday. It's just that for now, even for " fun purposes " like crossdressing, I just hurt myself more than anything.
So yeah, actually I am requestionning a lot of things about what " being trans " actually means. I just want to be a girl in the end to be able to show emotion, and I feel that I just am a girl inside and emotionally.
I just want to feel girly. That's all. But this body isn't helping at all, and I am often mislead by things like " gender roles ", and as someone who wants to be herself, well that's a bit scary, if that makes sense.
>>5905539
>>5906069
yeah that's pretty normal, trans people get a lot of media skew about being obvious men in dresses that demand people call them different things. no one wants that, its uncomfortable as fuck, and its perfectly normal to be very uncomfortable doing that kind of stuff and preferring to wait until you pass before you do anything
>>5906069
Do you have any girls you are friendly with that you can trust? A good girl friend or two can do amazing things to boost your self-confidence enormously. I got most of my advice on what would look good on me from girl friends along my journey, and shopping is just more fun that way anyways. They can also be incredibly useful to talk to as you start feeling new things, which will definitely happen as you progress on HRT.
>>5907015
Well, I have one IRL friend I told. We were drunk and it made the pill pass easier I think. Either way, I don't know if she could help me with that stuff, because well, truth be told, she's not hyper girly.
A lot of friends online would like to meet me someday to do shopping and stuff like that, but here ... heh ... I lost all my girl friends during my teen years because they all thought I were hitting on them or something for being nice with them, but just wanted to be friends. So yeah ... I don't think I have any girl friends that could teach me fashion, or makeup or go shopping with ...
>>5905539
>>5905625
Fuck. My feels
