This is the Trans Help General thread. We'll try to help you here with everything related to being transgender.
This includes questioning, appearance, daily trans problems, medical info, general info and other interesting stuff to name a few.
MTF, FTM and questioning people are all welcome here to help eachother and discuss possible solutions.
You can also share your transgender related stories here. Just came out? Or you just need to get something off your chest?
Maybe something wonderful happened today! We'll be glad to hear it, it's always good to know we're not going through this alone.
Links:
Articles, Studies and General information about Questioning, Transitioning and other stuff: http://pastebin.com/CyW1dXV8
Lots of useful links about/for transgender people: http://pastebin.com/h1vLPxyV
Transgender FAQ: http://pastebin.com/8QbKyShU
Am i trans/ trans help threads archive:
http://archive.loveisover.me/lgbt/search/text/trans%20help%20general%20%23/username/annicole/type/op/
Therapists: http://www.t-vox.org/index.php?title=Therapists_by_region
http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php
sort by transsexual issues
What will hormones do?
mtf: http://imgur.com/lDBLSVR
ftm: http://imgur.com/HqTqvJg
Previous thread: >>5815933
/lgbt/, I am a 24 year old, 5'7" male looking at transitioning. I weight currently 360 pounds (a lot of it muscle, due to my job I have to be able to lift heavy weights at odd angles; but a lot of it is fat too, and I'm working to burn that off as best as I can with diet and exercise). Given all of that, is it likely that I will ever be able to pass without extreme surgical changes to my body and bone structure as an mtf? I have broad shoulders, but my hips are fairly wide too; I plan to maybe get a corset once I drop enough weight to help shape my body.
Going to see about starting HRT through Informed Consent this month in Seattle, does anyone have recommendations on a clinic? Bonus points for affordable.
>>5851050
Define too long
>>5851211
10ish years, 20+ is to long.
Started cypro and progynova 50/2 last week, now I'm getting dizzy and light headed spells, is this normal?
>>5851670
Nope I was told to start straight on 50mg cypro and cut to 25 after two weeks and 2mg prog at the same time
>>5851670
The 10 years come from reading hair restoration blogs.
I personally had no expectation it would work on my hair, just a very slim prayer. With 20-30 years of bald, I've seen <5% terminal hair regrowth, but with a full carpet of vellus hairs. I was taking the Fin to zap other T->DHT conversions to make transition work better. Some cells even produce their own T and convert it to DHT for use.
How do I stop dying inside
When does the inner torrment end
Why can't I tell people what's wrong when they ask
pre everything btw
How should my potassium levels look on 200mg Spiro? I was off it for two days by the time I had my blood checked, and my levels were within a normal range. I'm wondering if getting back on the meds will throw my levels over.
is it possible to get on the moans through obamacare?
this is a serious question
>>5852407
I have the same questions as well.
>>5852641
i don't see why not...
it covers medical treatment (although if you're asking you probably have a fuckhuge deductible)
>>5852673
i wasnt sure because my insurance just ran out this past year to be on my parents (inb4 lmfao@ing ur gonna b a hon) and i dont work but i also just received my obama card.
idk were to go from here
>>5850738
What really bothers me is that I love singing but I think it will be weird if I transition and sound like a man. I like my voice separately. I'm a musician/songwriter and I don't know what to do. :(
>>5852731
lol keep it as a secret of your birth gender to show someone if they dont believe you. like pics of yourself as a kid
>>5852731
Why does every ftm have this concern
>>5852703
don't worry my faam i'm an oldfuck too. selfmed though because i can't be bothered and don't even know if i'm really a fucking tranny
>>5852407
>>5852651
> How do I stop dying inside
Ultimately: See a therapist and potentially transition. In the meantime: Do what you can to embrace your other side. Assuming you're MtF, get some makeup that you can wear without it being really noticeable or some underwear/tights that you can wear under your clothes. Shave your legs, etc. The little things can help tide you over until you're at a point where you can start making the big changes.
> When does the inner torment end
Likely once you start transitioning - if not, once you've finished.
> Why can't I tell people what's wrong when they ask
It's usually quite difficult to talk to people about any sort of personal issue - particularly one as life-changing as transsexualism (not to mention the stigmas that go with it).
Just my thoughts from personal experience, at any rate.
>>5852841
where do you buy from? meds I mean. i'm technically "old" but I hardly feel or look it imo....biggest draw back is needing lazer and my rib cage while not huge isn't as petite as id like. i'm withing range of being able to corset train though so it's not a huge issue either
>>5853245
brandmedicines, allday, qhi. haven't gotten my first qhi package yet, though
Asking because my roommate is usually too scared to talk about these things. She's been on testosterone blockers for about two months and has show no signs of change. She's been really stressed about it. Is this normal or is she just not taking to the drugs well?
>>5853564
My understanding is that blockers just stop masculinization, and you need estrogen to actually feminize.
>>5853568
That's what I've been thinking too. Just honestly needed some confirmation on that. We're both inexperienced with the process, so we both don't know how this all works.
>>5853571
Well I'm not even on blockers yet myself, so don't take my word for it. Also be wary of being on Anti-androgens alone for too long, it can lead to bone density lose when you don't have a hormone in your body.
>>5853568
I can confirm this with medical documents from a doctor who prescribed me HRT.
Estradiol valerate (progy) taken sublingually y/n
I keep hearing different opinions saying it has to be process by the liver first so take it orally, but people also say they have higher e levels taking it sublingual
Is there even a point to laser hair removal before getting on AA's? My therapist is pushing it and it is something I want but I'm questioning if it wouldn't just be a waste of time and money at this stage.
How do any of you manage to get a hold of yourselves?
i've been crying myself to sleep these last weeks, i even started hitting thing because the pain i get afterwards is much easier to handle than my feelings.
i think im losing it
>>5854257
stop caring so much
everybody has to die
nothing matters (objectively)
HUGE weight lifted off of my shoulders with this thinking alone.
>>5854257
There are websites you can buy them online from. I'm almost positive they've been posted in this thread.
Assuming you're not underage and have a way to legally buy things online.
I would recommend against it if you have any way of seeing a doctor. You could fuck up your liver or be on an inefficient dosage and waste your time, money and health. You might think "well I have nothing to live for I'll do it anyway". Well if you manage to fuck up your liver/body self-medding and don't accidentally kill yourself, prescribed meds aren't going to help you when your health is too poor now to take them.
Besides that, you should talk to someone about this. Even if this is no longer considered a mental illness, the hysteria it's causing you is worthy of attention: imagine fixing your body AND your mind. You'll need a healthy state of mind to deal with the changes.
>>5854332
Also this.
>>5854334
>Even if this is no longer considered a mental illness
I believe is still a mental illness in this third world country.
>>5854363
Well if that's the case and you're the person I was replying to, best not go to a doc then.
>>5854372
Thanks
What is safe/not safe to tell a therapist?
>>5854405
As long as you don't tell them you're going to kill yourself or someone else when you get home you're probably fine. If you mean something like you committed a serious crime, I also think you're probably fine because of confidentiality things. When I went to see my therapist there was paper work to fill out and read. Part of it was a confidentiality statement saying exactly what she could and wouldn't do.
I don't know what to do anymore. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I hate being a man. I've been trying to subtly change myself to look more feminine because I don't want my partner and children to know. I feel so unfulfilled and trapped but I don't want to lose my family.
>>5854617
How old are you???
Just do what every middle aged man with a family does with a mid life crisis: give up, die inside and hope to god you don't fuck up your children's lives.
Went yesterday see my psychotherapist about me,disphoria, and shit, it was like half an hour of her asking me about my everyday life, how I eat,my friends, how I sleep, and so.
Is this the "normal" way?Seems kinda strange to me.
>>5854676
If you're in the US, you can just go the informed consent route, where as long as you sign a few papers that you know the risks they will get you a prescription
>>5854734
I wish I could just do that to make it faster,nope,Im spanish,so all I can do is get to the theraphist like once a few weeks and wait,this + Im 17,not old enough to order online, and not able to do shit by myself untill Im 18
>>5854676
>>5854758
It's not uncommon to get asked a bunch of weird and irrelevant questions, but that doesn't mean you're wrong to think that it's weird and irrelevant.
Assessments of trans people have a creepy and uncomfortable history, and it lingers.
See if you can find a different therapist who's good with trans issues. What I did was look for someone who'd spoken to the press about transgender issues and not cocked it up. So then, if your current route goes badly you'll have someone else in reserve.
>super excited past couple weeks waiting for mones to get here
>they arrived today
>been excited
>look in mirror
>try to imagine myself with tiny boobs
>feel disgusted
FDAHGOSHRJGDJGHFKDJGRDHFUCK
>>5856467
just dew it
So just had my first laser treatment today. I was considering electrolysis but it is a lot more expensive here than laser, plus a lot more time consuming.
Anyway, my facial hair is a kind of mid to light brown. The clinic said they could do it, but it would just take a bit longer. I am a bit worried tho. They said I should see some change after the 3 or 4th time. I sure hope they know what they are doing
>>5854669
I'm 20 (I had children very young), but only recently (during the last year or so) have I started to actively pay attention to my gender. I've always worn womens clothes on the sly and I'm obsessed with the female form. But I know I need to take it further and I'm not sure how to go about it.
Got given Lupron by my doctor today, turns out my basic assbutt state insurance covers it with zero copay. Winning?
>>5857845
#WINNING XD
My insurance covers it too, although I'm not sure if my doctors will give it to me. They're not the brightest in terms of trans care.
>>5857852
I went to my doctor and asked about casodex and he was like "bruhsis that shit is toxic, how about lupron". He was also the same doctor who when my T wasn't low enough on 200mg of Spiro put me on 24mg of Estradiol. He's pretty much a loose cannon.
Just staring at this intimidating kit figuring out if I should work it out myself, it wait until Monday and have my doctors assistant teach me how to do it.
if it says micronized anywhere on the package, it's fine
>>5857868
>24
uhhhh typo?
how did you find this doctor. free lupron sounds p good t b h though
>>5857973
Not a typo, sadly. Does some crazy stuff to your mood, but does keep the T levels way down.
Any advice on loving your body the way it is?
>>5858651
I don't know. Nudist/naturalist beaches, and LSD or other psychedelics with good, safe, trustworthy friends.
Not all at once, though.
>>5858658
Whoops, they're called "Naturists".
>>5858651
Your body is your enemy. DESTROY IT
>>5858651
there is no way ...
but there's plastic surgery
>>5858651
Do what I do. Take twenty photos, save the the best one, pretend the other ones didn't happen and delete them. Works for me.
Does anybody feel that their gender dysphoria got worse only after they read about it? A lot of the problems now weren't problems before. I never minded male pronouns, my penis, the beard, etc. until now. In this way, I can relate to those who say they repressed their feelings or were deep in denial, which I find kind of silly.
what does dysphoria feel like, how do i know
>>5859867
What discomforting things or dislikes do you have with your body?
>>5859907
well i hate my genitals, i dont even like thinking about them. but i dont think id like having a dick either. sometimes i wish i didnt have my boobs, but its kind of inconsistent. sometimes i like them. i also want to be thinner, but that doesnt seem gender based so i dont know if it matters.
photos of me tend to make me really uncomfortable too, if that counts, but i cant really pinpoint what exactly it is about them most of the time
>>5859867
i don't see myself in the mirror
Is it safe to assume that I nuked my T if I'm dry when I cum? I'm considering increasing my cypro from 50mg to maybe 75mg, because I keep getting those annoying morning boners and my dick refuses to just die, despite me being on HRT for over a year.
>>5859793
I'm kind of the same way. I find that I'm developing problems that I didn't have before. An example would be a few months ago when I was looking for new clothes and had no problem looking for male clothes, but just the other day I was at the mall and couldn't even look at the mens section. It gave me a minor panic attack. On the other hand, I no longer give a shit if something I like might not be considered masculine enough, I don't worry about keeping up appearances for the sake of other people's opinion, and I am starting to figure myself out more and more all the time.
So things are changing, "transitioning" you could say...
>>5859991
Dry ejaculation is a symptom of any high level of E, and isn't representative of T levels. You just need to have high E, and not use your cock a lot.
>>5857868
24mg???
I didn't believe it, but I'm earnestly starting to believe it's true about there being about equal FtMs and MtFs.
Over half of the people at the support meetings I've been to have been transmen. I guess it's just more visible when a 40 year old man becomes a woman than vice versa.
>>5862658
So if my E levels are high, then my T is low too? What are the symptom of nuked T?
>>5865459
That's not enough of a sample size to make any conclusions.
>>5865525
It's enough for me to see it's not 90% hons
I need some help,how do I get my hair eventually more feminine?
>>5865777
Take really, really good care of it. Use products and tools. Straighten it, curl it, make it shine.
>>5865877
Sorry,not what I meant to ask,I guess,what I want to know,is how do I treat it?I mean,pass from a boy haircut to a more feminine one eventually,dont know how to explain what i want to mean
>>5865922
Grit your teeth through the awkward transition between short and long.
>>5865964
it's fucking painful, i've been at it for a year now
what's even more retarded is that I had long af hair before but my faggot dad made me cut it when i was like 14
>>5862658
I've had a dry orgasm, several years ago long before I started my hrt. It was the first time that happened for me and I had a full body orgasm, my gf at the time was giving me an intense handjob and was so confused, when I "came like a girl" as she put it
>>5866008
My parents alway made me cut my hair, and wouldnt let keep ears peirced, they didnt even look feminine.
I feel your pain, I'm growing my hair long right now too. I dont live with my parents anymore but every time i see them my mom always says "you need a haircut" Its annoying but, I do what I want!
How can I find an Informed Consent center, or Lgbt Center near me. I live in a generally small town area, and I google search and nothing, the closest anything is the nearest major city hours away
>>5866480
mail order pretty pills
>>5866480
Thats actually what I am doing for the last 1.5 months. it just takes forever to get them. and having an lgbt center at least would be nice, cuz I feel I need to meet other transpeople, We are so rare where I live I literally have only seen two other indiviuals around here. alternatively I've been thinking about moving, for school
>>5866492
Thats actually what I am doing for the last 1.5 months. it just takes forever to get them. and having an lgbt center at least would be nice, cuz I feel I need to meet other transpeople, We are so rare where I live I literally have only seen two other indiviuals around here. alternatively I've been thinking about moving, for school
30, mtf, hrt for 2 months now, I worry about my hair I had areas of my scalp thin, and some receding in the front over the last 2-4 years prior to starting hrt, I had a full thick head of hair all my life leading up to. Im currently taking finesteride, spironolactone, and estradiol. and I know any changes in hair growth/regrowth wont happen for several months. But I need to know will it regrow, fill in, can I have the hair I had? What i've lost is minor, but I just get selfconcious about it
How do you know if you'd pass? Us it just age, or does puberty/genetics play more of a factor? If someone was, say, 16, but had a major dad bod, square jaw, cleft chin, deep voice, and extremely male physique, but went on hormones at 16, would they pass?
I bought my first skirt recently in a bid to try and encourage myself to go out dressed as a girl. Any tips/ways to get brave for ugly first timers ?
>>5866817
age is a meme, it's 100% genetics
since starting hrt, estrogen seems to make me cry ALOT more, mostly when i think about stuff related to my dysphoria, and sad parts in movies get me really emotional, I'm having trouble keeping a lid on it. i'm even tearing up writing this. I guess it means its working, so i like that i'm more emotional. but I dont like that it apparently means I'm still very sad and depressed.
Dont get me wrong I'm much happier than I was now that I've taken the leap to transition. I just didnt cry before, so i'm still not used to it
>>5866955
ugly first timers are braver than the pretty ones!
If you have friend that can go with you, to lunch or a movie. baby steps. having a supportive friend can make all the difference.
or go somewhere that makes you feel comfortable,
>>5867058
Yep, that'll happen. Welcome to girl puberty. It will get less overwhelming with time. You'll learn to steer away from thoughts that take you down those roads, and whatnot. If it really is too much then do the whole depression treatment dance.
Also, excuse my sappiness, but I think it's fairly warranted to get in a few good cries about the horseshit mess that is being trans as well as the relief of living in an age where you can actually do something about it.
Hello /lgbt/ I need to ask you. Basically the idea is I'm at this point in my life where I'm trying to"figure out who I am" and what not, I'm fighting with my self on whether or not I should become trans. When I get "dressed up" I love it, but as soon as I rub one out I fell disgusted. What should I do, am I falling for a meme trap?
I wonder how many questions that people ask in these threads can be correctly answered with "Go talk to a therapist."
I'd wager at least half of them.
>>5867193
i can't afford a therapist
how many of the people in this thread do you think are underage though?
>>5867193
therapists are useless t b h
>>5867181
Do you want to be a girl?
>>5867193
Sometimes people need to hear those words from another person.
Also, there are some piss poor therapists out there too.
20yo mtf, I've just decided to take the plunge and order some pills to try and sort myself out. The only thing is, I don't have any idea what I'm actually looking at. Which pills are best for HRT? What are they called and where can I get them?
So I'm an mtf that's like 6.5 months into hrt. My levels are apparently fine and such, but it feels like aside from the softening of my skin and breast growth, jack shit has happened. I mean, my face would easily be indistinguishable if I just had some fat redistribution there, but holy fuck it's like body refuses the distribute fat no matter what I do. Will I have to have fat injected or something via surgery? Because fuck me estrogen isn't doing anything. Or should I just give it some more time?
>>5868792
Well you want an anti androgen like Spironolactone and/or Finesteride, and an estrogenic like Estradiol. Thats what I'm taking, but you gotta figure out what you want to take. you dont take the E for a month or two, let the AA's do their work first they'll help lower your testosterone. thats kind of a good place to start. But do your research! be careful
>>5850738
I am Afrogender. Can I use nigger as my pronoun.
Like: "I'll hold the door open for that nigger."
Or: "I hate that nigger."
>>5867118
Thanks, thats actually the nicest honest way of putting it. I think I'm handling well. I can hold it in most of the time when I'm around others, but when I'm alone I just let it go and cry about things.
>>5869572
LOL, WTF... Uh ok. good luck with that.
>>5868805
Fat redistribution takes a long time, but thr good news is it's a lot easier to gain fat than to lose it. You'll start noticing eventually that you're less angular everywhere, but I can't tell you how when that will happen.
>>5868805
Look at other trans timelines. The good shit looks to be closer to your 1 year tranniversary.
Posted this in /mtfg/, just now realized this might be better thread for it. Has anyone here used or heard of doctor kevin bush, I want to get ffs; and he has glowing reviews online. However he doesn't post any before and after, which has made me a bit worried.
Also, has anyone here went to doctor bensimon?
Pic sort of related (it's me)
>>5850817
You gotta lost the weight to truly asses if you can pass. But in my expert opinion face and voice played the biggest factor in passing.
Good luck in the weight loss senpai.
>>5854011
Just swallow it, estrofem is under the tongue.
>>5869696
Anybody?
estrogen should never be taken sublingually. Three different endocrinologists have mentioned that it has basically no half life when taken that way and reduces effectiveness.
>>5870026
Really! Shit, I have been taking it sublingual this entire time....
>>5870166
Sublingual estradiol is one of those old wives tales that go around the internet just like cycling progesterone. The source is that some girls with PCOS take it that way because they have liver stress from the PCOS as is and its also so as not to upset their natural hormone balance so a half life is desirable.
How do I cycle progesterone? Take it for 2 weeks, then stop for 2 weeks, repeat?
Also my doctor offered me to switch from gel/patches to injections.. Should i do it? Would be one injection a week..
Thanks in advance :)
>>5870667
Injections are less steady flow of hormones, but effective, problem is that most people don't do it right.
And see the post above you -- cycling is BS.
>>5870699
Well cycling is bullshit for E, that's what i heard. But for progesterone i heared it's recommended? Even my doctor said it (he's not afan of progy hrt btw)
As for the injections. They will show me how to do it. All I know is that i will have to inject into my belly..
Does that sound good or nah?
>>5870729
>All I know is that i will have to inject into my belly..
>Does that sound good or nah?
the fuck? I've never heard of that, the shoulder,thigh and butt is all I've seen/heard but the stomach? That's odd senpai.
>>5870729
Not belly, no. You want thigh, desu. And progesterone shows no benefit to cycling.
>>5870790
Estradiol is intramuscular.
Well, after a week of dieting and doing my best to get the estrogen flowing, I shaved today...
Why did I ever think I'd be anything other than a hon?
A dead body would be less ugly.
How do you get yourself out of the depression of realizing you'll never be what you thought you could?
>>5850738
How are you supposed to get your eyebrows in any way femme shape w/o professionals.
>>5870873
Pluck.
>>5870848
You do or you die.
Unless you're 5 years into hrt and have been dieting and exerciskng properly for that same span you have time to still see results
>>5870936
but that face, god my own face made me want to puke.
Apparently people on the internet think I could go boymode without hormones, except... I'm 5'3 and have massive fucking tits. I don't experience any severe downstairs dysphoria, but my chest dysphoria is through the roof. Fuck, I don't even know if I'm trans though. Maybe I'll just always hate the body I'm in.
Is there any hope for a tiny trans dude? Will anyone ever take me seriously or should I just not bother?
>>5871031
depends, are we talking a straight ftm or a gay one?
if guys are your thing then being short and fem is perfect.
if girls are your thing, I've noticed bi girls are really into fem dudes.
>>5871031
The shortest guy in my support group passes the best - after 10 months of T. I think you've got an inch on him. He does still look a lot younger than he is.
It's pretty normal not to have much bottom dysphoria.
>>5871031
>people on the internet think I could go boymode without hormones
They're full of shit. Take the 'mones. You'll probably pass as a short guy after a mastectomy.
I'm a month into hormones and literally nothing's changed except my skin's gotten softer.
Am I in hon territory?
>>5871258
Get your hormone levels checked to see if you'r within female range.
Consider alternative hormone medication too, as it may produce better results.
Do herbal estrogen supplements do literally anything? Even just alleviate the dysphoria? I'm in a place right now where I can't get any real HRT because my job requires me to not have any mental diagnoses and they'd probably fire me if they found out, so I've had to hold off transitioning.
Not only that, I don't have health insurance so getting a therapist or endocrinologist to diagnose me/write a prescription is going to be near impossible and I need to do something quick.
>>5871382
Don't get a diagnosis. Just get your pills online. Herbal stuff does nothing.
>>5871258
On average, people don't start seeing noticeable changes until around 3 months in. Can always get your levels checked, but I wouldn't worry until it's been at least 3 months.
>>5871395
Even if it just makes me not want to kill myself so much I'd be okay with that.
>>5871258
You're only one month in. The fact that your skin is changing is a good sign. Obviously get your levels checked (if you're one month in I'm assuming you're on as tarter dose anyway and it'll go up later), but what you're describing isn't unusual at all.
>>5870873
Whatever you do, take it slow. If you decide to pluck your eyebrows yourself, do only a little each day. Otherwise you might get carried away.
>>5872155
Seriously. I weep for overplucked eyebrows, especially ones where the entire inner side of their brows is decapitated. If they grow upwards there then trim them, deal with it.
Bad eyebrows ruin faces.
Also: binding. I don't like my boobs, but it'd be way way worse if they looked like shit. Will binding ruin them?
>>5871055
Bisexual. I really like dykey girls though, which makes me kinda sad because once I look like a guy, none of them would go for me.
>>5871152
This makes me really hopeful. You don't think it'd be too weird? I'm kind of hoping to keep a sort of femboy look anyways because that's what would look best on me.
>>5871220
Oh, I plan to. I want to look like a man, not a 12 year old boy. It just made me feel nice that I'm not as hopeless as I thought, like maybe this would actually work.
Hi, thought this might be an interesting poll to post here.
http://strawpoll.me/7088439
http://strawpoll.me/7088439
http://strawpoll.me/7088439
(cis here means as in being comfortable with your birth sex, e.g. mtf -> cis would be mtf to cis male)
So.
I'll be turning 22 in a week.
I've been thinking about being a girl a lot during my childhood and puberty, but I just repressed it and never told anyone about it, because I considered it "abnormal" and "shameful".
Thing is, I'm not really 100% sure why I repressed these feelings, since I consider my family to be supporting and understanding (they often told me their love for me wouldn't change no matter my sexual orientation or things like that). It might be, however, because I live in Poland, which is a very bigoted country. I've been bullied in elementary school for being chubby and having long hair, I've often been thrown out of men's bathroom by older guys and called a sissy. I've gotten my hair cut in third grade because of that and only allowed them to grow long again in high school.
I think the trigger for me finally starting to come to terms with my identity (or considering as a real possibility) was my friends starting to jokingly call me a girly nickname because of my unmanly voice. I didn't care about it at first, but after a while it started to make me feel happy. I've also started to feel joy when called miss and things like that. I always felt sad when hearing things like "you should be glad you're not a girl", but now it stings even more so. After putting a lot of thought into this, I started to connect some of my previous behavior and feelings with the possibility of being trans, but I'm still on the fence whether what I feel is real or did I just convince myself about this.
I feel that this doubt might just be me trying to suppress my own feelings yet another time, but it still weighs on me.
I'm not entirely sure what do I expect, I just wanted to spill my guts somewhere anonymously, even if no one will read it,
>>5873637
>will binding ruin them?
yes. hell even a sports bra for too long term of usage can relocate breast tissue. my friend ended up with breast tissue in her back, no joke. and then FTM binders will warp ribs, even if you take them off whenever you get home from work
>>5873862
>my friend ended up with breast tissue in her back
What? What did that look like? Do you mean like the fat migrated back there or?
I guess I have two questions:
1. How do you deal with dysphoria coming and going? I get upset whenever people refer to me as manly, I've had days where I hate my body, my genitals look foreign to me, etc. On the other hand, some days (like today), I feel pretty alright with how things are. I don't really feel depressed about who I am. I also don't feel disgusted with any of the cross-dressing and stuff I've done in the past, though.
At what point do you know for sure that it's not just a phase?
2. Are hormones an "affirming" thing? Like, if you think you're trans and then start taking hormones, will they make you feel worse if you're not actually trans and better if you are? Or will you just feel normal until one day your body is irreversibly changed and you find out you hate yourself?
>HRT relieves dysphoria by making the body appear closer to that of the desired gender
But to what extent? I'm 24, I've gone through puberty, my bones aren't going to change any, etc... In other words, I have nothing to look forward to. So, why bother?
>>5854011
if it's micronized, you can take it sublingually
i can't fucking do it anymore. i was so fucking close to being a normal straight guy
every so often i see a cute girl and don't get jealous and then think oh yeah i should try to flirt with her, and then i remember nobody would want a dirty fetishist freak who gets off to thinking of being a girl
why didn't this fucking get bred out of humanity?
>>5875108
oh right, a dirty fetishist freak taking estrogen
wew that's even better
>>5875086
this is what I'm dealing with right now. Same age. There is FFS and we can get fat transfers to make it look like we have hips but we are stuck with our height, shoulders, feet. ..why was I so afraid when I was younger... I wish I could go back.
So my script says 3 pills, once per day. Wouldn't it make more sense if it was 1 pill, 3 times a day? What should I do?
>>5876104
Call your doctor, leave a message, wait for them to get back to you.
But yeah, 1 pill 3 times a day makes more sense.
Will my therapist ever stop telling me to tell my family and go to an lgbt support group? I'm really getting annoyed and I'm getting closer to giving up and I know that's not good for therapy..
how do you tell your family you're trans
i'm dying not being out and i know my parents will support me but it's so hard to get the words out
>>5876910
>i know my parents will support me
what the fuck
the only reason it's hard for you is cause you're making it hard
just talk to them
I have a very feminine body, im 23 or 24 (i seriously dont remmeber right now) and i get misgendered by my body often, my face always makes people realize im a guy
my question is whats wrong with my body? why do i look feminine? im not into hormones or anything, i just eat a bit healthy and dress a bit androgynous
is there any chance i had some weird sickness/illness that makes me look more feminine?
>>5875086
if you aren't looking forward to getting breasts even if you do have a manskeleton then you're not really trans tbqh
Why bother? Because boobs.
>>5877107
Can't say I'm terribly excited when breast growth is going to take years and I can't expect more than a B cup at most.
Just came from therapist, now she asked about why I dont want to be a man,why I like both men and women,questions about family,what did I play with when I was younger,didnt know what to answer in most of them, not because I didnt have an answer,but because I didnt know how to explain,as Im too shy,and she just ended telling me to write a diary with an extra page saying what I like,what I dislike, and what turns me on about both sexes, I certainly am starting to see this as a waste of time...
>>5877408
I would agree that those questions won't help in discovering your gender identity.
Don't hesitate to tell your therapist how you feel about those questions to give them a chance to change their approach and help in other ways.
Writing a diary is good for trying to process/talk about information in a way that makes sense to you.
Right now I'm seeing a therapist for my depression and anxiety issues.
I'm still questioning and denying and haven't brought it up with the therapist.
Not really sure if I even should until I understand myself better.
>>5874816
>Are hormones an "affirming" thing?
no. they will make you feel better if you are sure you are trans. don't take them if you don't know that you want the effects they have on you.
> I feel pretty alright with how things are
>I don't really feel depressed about who I am.
so you feel good about being male? you are happy being male or is it more a "guess i can't change it so might as well deal with it?" during these days: would you still prefer to be a girl or is that thought completely alien to you?
>At what point do you know for sure that it's not just a phase?
at the point where you know that you want to take hormones.
>>5877020
>is there any chance i had some weird sickness/illness that makes me look more feminine?
Seriously? You almost certainly just naturally look more feminine than others; it happens.
>>5877107
>if you don't look forward to having small and malformed breasts distorted further by a masculine skeleton, which look and feel bad and serve to remind you that you'll never really be a woman and are at best poorly approximating it, then you're not really trans.
Even cis women can be indifferent about or actively dislike their breasts.
>>5877652
yeah, but it's less of a "i don't like boobs on my body" and more like a "i don't like these kind of boobs on me for specific reasons like too small/heavy/big/perky/etc".
Am I trans if I want to be a girl? What does it even mean to be trans? I can give more info if it will help you help me.
>>5877472
>you are happy being male or is it more a "guess i can't change it so might as well deal with it?"
I think it's more along the lines of the latter. I actually had a bit of a revelation yesterday:
What I want desperately is for someone to tell me I’m trans. I feel like it’s a decision I can’t make on my own, and I need some “professional” opinion to know for sure. But whomever that opinion comes from, I know what I want them to say. I want them to tell me, “Yes, you’re trans. Yes, you should transition. Yes, you’ll pass when it’s done. Yes, everyone will accept you. Yes, you have nothing to worry about.”
I guess that says a lot.
Hey legbutts, been on HRT 9-10 months now, and it hurts when I get a boner. Please tell me this is normal.
Also does anyone know a good place to find a good doctor that'll take that shit off me?
i finally found a therapist to talk to about my dysphoria. hrt is being talked about, but im afraid if i can pass. im feminine in body and facial structure, but i have a deep voice and am 6'1. people mistake me as a female semi-frequently, but it goes out the window when i open my mouth. i think id be happier on hrt but im also scared to death that id fail. general advice?
>>5878124
If it makes you feel better, I have two girl cousins who are 6'1" and have strong jawlines. They get hit on pretty much constantly. Just move to an area with tall people, like Minnesota. Or the Netherlands or Scandinavia if you're in Europe. If you're already passing occasionally then you might as well go for it.
>>5878124
Well if you already semi-pass, you're probably doing better than most. I'd say go for it. For me it was either HRT or suicide so hey.
When Spironolactone from QHI shows up in the post, how discreet is the packaging?
>>5878203
It's a very colorful box that says "FAG PILLS INSIDE" in bright, bold letters.
If you email them early enough they might make the word black and white for you instead.
>>5877766
>Am I trans if I want to be a girl?
why do you want to be one?
>>5877895
it tells me you know a little more about yourself now and that's great. but it doesn't tell me how it influences your decision?
>>5878124
You can train your voice, you know.
>>5878249
Well, I guess it makes me think I should go for it. The fact that the only thing holding me back is that nobody's able to explicitly tell me, "You need to transition or else you'll want to kill yourself in 5-10 years," kind of makes me feel like I'm just trying to make excuses and delay the inevitable by not transitioning.
Sorry, hope that makes sense.
>>5850738
>tfw femgen
>Tfw not getting enough sleep cause boobs are painful and wake you in middle of night
Kill me now
Since I'm a faggot and need all the help I can get in this situation, I am going to copy pasta my own thread here
Need help guys, I have about 1 day to come out to my parents as a mtf transfag
What the fuck should I say and what are some do's and don'ts, also if you would be able to post your coming out story, please do
Mtf been on hormones for 5 years, stopped AAs for 2 months 3 months ago.
My gf is 2 weeks late for her period, whats the possibility that she's pregnant?
>>5878668
It really depends on how accepting your parents are. I've been really lucky, everyone's been really accepting and supportive and shit. Stress that it's not a phase, you're still basically the same person, and maybe that you don't worship the devil. Though depending on your parents, maybe say you do. Whatever gets you some bonus points. Just don't freak out. Why the time limit, anyway?
>>5878674
If its Spiro, it's very possible -- Spiro doesn't cause testicular dysfunction. Bica, too. The only one that causes permanent damage and mutilation is Cyproterone.
>>5878790
I've been on 12.5mg of cypro most of the time I've been on hormones.
>>5878834
You're sterile as fuck. She cheated on you.
>>5878840
Haha, She's a lesbian its more possible she's late and forgot when it last happened.
I was cumming and it had white bits mixed in with the clear liquid for about a month tho, this is why I'm thinking it could happen.
>>5878840
Or her period was late for literally any other reason.
Still, taking a pregnancy test is a no-brainer.
>>5878875
It's just protein from the prostate. Your sperm production is toast for life.
>>5878883
Good to know, I kept telling her it would be impossible.
>>5877981
Okay but no seriously, should I see a doctor or is it fine?
Can I get drunk on HRT? There seems to be varying answes to this question
>>5880744
You'll get drunk much easier. On Lupron, however; you can have zero alcohol.
>>5880773
I'm taking estradiol and spiro, will it fuck up my liver to get drunk?
>>5880927
It's not recommended, but unless you already have a fucked up liver or are slamming drinks all day, every day, getting drunk once in a while won't kill ya.
New here. Need to get this off my chest.
I'm so confused. I don't consider myself trans, but all my life I've always been feminine for a guy. I was different and I knew it. During puberty, I was jealous of the changes girls were going through and deeply ashamed of my own. I begged my parents to let me wear skinny jeans and I stole my moms eyeliner and my sister's old bra. I wanted to express my femininity in a way men could. I stole the bra only to wear for blissful sleep. One day I got caught and that was the last time I wore girl's clothing.
Puberty was a nightmare and I withdrew from the world the first chance I got, and lived shut in for years, safe. I refused to leave the house and my parents didn't know what to do with me. They decided to home school me. I was supposed to go back to school, but I never did. I couldn't go back because I wasn't masculine enough.
I know I can never be a cis girl so I direct my frustration to my femininity instead of my masculinity. I try to be more manly, to prove I'm a guy. I want others to see me as manly because that's what I'm supposed to be, but I don't want to look any more masculine than I am.
Of course my "plan" failed miserably. The easiest way to avoid revealing my femininity is to simply make sure no one is there to witness it. My cope was that I could work to achieve a masculine attitude in the meantime and come out of the cocoon as a real man. If I just acted like this, like that, then people would accept me. Instead, my femininity remains perfectly intact, but I'm aging as a man. Why can't I just be one or the other?! Only my skin and hair aged, my structure remains feminine. If I had dimorphic features then maybe I could cope better, but the thinning hair has ruined me. It's been on my mind all the time since I noticed. At first I didn't realize why it bothered me so much, but now I know it's because mpb is dimorphic and I can't look any more manly than I already do.
>>5882158
After loads of research I began taking dut 2 months ago. I know it's a coincidence but I've been feeling even more feminine for the last week. Transitioning isn't an option but I wish I could either be a man or a woman and not in between. I have no fear of sexual side effects. I'm celibate so my penis gets no use anyway, and my hair is much more important to me. The only reason I like my penis anyhow is because it's big and so other people value it. If it weren't considered a marker of masculinity by others I wouldn't care for it, but knowing I have a big one has helped me cope when I'm feeling emasculated. On the other hand, I often feel like it's wasted on me. I'd give it to some poor lad suffering a micropenis if I could. If I lost my penis then I would at least have a reason for being so feminine.
If anyone actually read this, thanks, I'm sure my thoughts are all over the place and make little sense. I'm confused and it's hard to express what I'm feeling. I don't know if I even belong here. Part of me wants to be a girl so badly, but the reality screams it's impossible, that my only option is to become a man that I fear I will never be comfortable as, so I'm stuck in limbo wanting to keep things from getting worse, keep things as they are. I've gotten good at dissociating by so often brushing off my feelings. All of you dealing with these gender issues have my sincerest sympathy. I could never handle the stigmas.
I might actually be trans. I don't like looking in a mirror and seeing these fucking girlish curves and dainty hands with fragile wrists. I hate that I have an hourglass shape "that everyone wants, get over it". Or how much I absolutely despise my genitalia. The disgusting shit that comes out of is gross. I hate how I think like a woman, this maternal bullshit that I cannot fucking stand. Or this fucking passive aggressive shit I do and not even know it. I can't even bear to have anyone touch me or have sex without feeling like I'm going to die.
And I hate to acknowledge it and actually deal with it. It's too complicated and I don't want to deal with the several "You're just confused" conversations that I am bound to have.
>>5878547
>Sorry, hope that makes sense.
it makes lots of sense.
>"You need to transition or else you'll want to kill yourself in 5-10 years,"
maybe i'm interpreting too much into it but you being this specific, the post before too, makes me think you are quite sure already?
have you done already steps towards transitioning and which steps are you planning to do in the near future?
>>5882166
>but I wish I could either be a man or a woman
> I can't look any more manly than I already do.
> that my only option is to become a man that I fear I will never be comfortable a
>etc
doesn't sound like being a man is really an option, is it?
>I want others to see me as manly because that's what I'm supposed to be
you need to think deeply about how you want yourself to be and what makes you happy.
> If I had dimorphic features then maybe I could cope better,
> but now I know it's because mpb is dimorphic and I can't look any more manly than I already do.
you don't want just any kind of dimorphic features, right?
would you really be happy if all your femininity would disappear?
>Part of me wants to be a girl so badly, but the reality screams it's impossible,
transitioning is very real and has helped a lot of people already that feel similarly.
>All of you dealing with these gender issues have my sincerest sympathy. I could never handle the stigmas.
it has nothing to do with being able to handle the stigmas. it has something to do with not being able to be happy and enjoy life as your birth sex and the positives of transitioning outweigh the stigmas by far.
please see a psychiatrist that has experience with gender issues if you can. if there is no one like this in your area then please see another psychiatrist. they are there to help you get things off your chest and are far more competent as conversational partners than 4chan. however not everyone is competent so please don't get discouraged if the first or second just want to describe you pills but look for another.
>>5882382
on the one hand you wrote a paragraph about how much you hate your body and it doesn't sound vague at all. your body isn't going to change on it's own it's only going to get worse so the problem is permanent if you don't do something about it.
on the other hand you wrote one sentence about the discomfort of having to deal with simple conversations and something being "too complicated". these very temporal problems are big enough to stop you from pursuing your personal happiness and your problems?
man up and do something, no one else is going to do it for you.
>>5882436
>these very temporal problems are big enough to stop you from pursuing your personal happiness
Not that anon, but you've just described me. I'm just too afraid of it "not working out" that I don't even believe it to be worth a try
I know I should talk to my therapist about it, but I also have problems believing that therapy can help me. And I know it can't help if I basically don't want it to help.
I know I should just take a step forward and do something about this, but at the same time it is easier to stay in this familiar apathy.
>>5882445
maybe write a letter to your therapist depicting your problems and (e)mail it/give it to him?
anon, you know what you have to do. if you don't do it today you will have to do it tomorrow. staying apathetic is doing nothing but delaying the part of your life that you enjoy.
>>5880304
Sorry to hear about your GRIDS :(
Is it possible to live a happy life as a closeted crossdresser/possible transgendered, with no plans of ever doing anything about it other than the occasional dressing up? Will dressing up "keep it at bay"?
>>5882706
Idk, for some people it's enough
But if you're really dysphoric it'll only get worse
>>5882718
How do I gauge how dysphoric I am? I occasionally (once or twice a week, sometimes with a much longer break) think about life as a woman and then it's almost always just about the sex. It's more of a fetish for me than an actual life style. I still want to be a man. I just want to get fucked like a whore.
Based on that, what would you say my prognosis is?
>>5882400
>Makes me think you are quite sure already?
Well, I've been seriously questioning for about 5 months now, to the point where almost every waking moment where I'm not watching a movie, playing a game, etc., I'm thinking about this.
>have you done already steps towards transitioning?
I haven't actually taken any permanent steps toward transitioning. All I've done is stuff like cross-dressing (which has almost always made me happy) and going to see a therapist (who gave me information on the types of hormone therapies). Prior to going to see the therapist, I sent him a "biography" of sorts where I kind of outlined my journey to where I am now. I probably shouldn't post it here (it's like 5 pages), but he said that from it he got the feeling that I didn't feel male, and that I never really did. That kind of hit me as a bit crazy to think about, but also possibly accurate.
>and which steps are you planning to do in the near future?
Well, assuming I can get all or at least most of these doubts out of my mind, I want to go on hormone therapy. I just feel so conflicted about the repercussions and if it is truly what I want.
>>5882743
>a "biography" of sorts where I kind of outlined my journey to where I am now. I probably shouldn't post it here
Please do. I want to read it to so I can gauge my own situation.
>>5882548
Wait, what?
>>5882743
I'm only a psychiatrist of the armchair variety, but it sounds like me that all the signs are pointing to transition. The sooner you accept it and start doing something about it, the sooner you can actually live your life.
>>5882906
don't worry, i've had experience with 4 legitimate qualified psychiatrists to date (one private consultant, one NHS consultant, and 2 NHS SHO's) and i can say from that experience that they're no better than armchair psychs.
I'm going to get voice coaching!
>>5882913
What specifically was wrong with them? Should I avoid seeing psychiatrists?
>>5882949
if a psychiatrist explicitly states they specialize in an area you actually want to see them about, there shouldn't be a problem.
but psychiatry has decided to forsake any impartiality and scientific method in favour of introducing a heavy dose of error into the system.
how do they do this? they start by taking your history, and then go completely off their own hunches and their own opinions, imposing their own beliefs on you and not listening to what you think is of importance. their practice isn't malleable, they tend to try and apply a one-size-fits-all approach to all of their patients and if they aren't challenged, they exist within the echo chamber of their own egos.
i had one psychiatrist tell me i needed psychosexual counselling to get over my unwillingness to have casual sex, when he didn't listen to me when i said sex was a low priority for me just now and i wanted to sort other things out (this wasn't trans related btw).
i had another psychiatrist immediately cotton onto the aspergers i was diagnosed with in adulthood and it immediately threw him off because he had never dealt with autists and he didn't know what to do. i tried telling him i wasn't there to see him about aspergers as i had covered all of that with a neurodevelopmental psychologist, but he insisted that it must be the root of all of my psychiatric problems.
Is it possible to send an echeck to ADC through paypal?
The pain, it never stops.
Please, tell me how to stop it. How I can stop hijacking myself and actually get working on improving my miserable state.
>>5882723
I'd say just a crossdresser
Maybe fetishistic transvestite, depends on what you feel when you wear those clothes
But i don't think you're full blows trans
But maybe you'll think you are when midlife crisis hits you so idk
>>5882743
>I want to go on hormone therapy
there's more to transitioning than that. letting your hair grow out will take a long time depending on how long you want it. dieting if you're overweight is a good choice. practicing your voice is very important, hormones do nothing on it, and it takes a long time. dressing more feminine, but not overdoing it with pink frilly dresses, is something you can start with. it should reduce dysphora too. shaving/epilating and taking better care of your body with skin lotions etc is something you can start with.
presenting more feminine to the outside in general, maybe even coming out to a few trusted people and tell them your new name. if you don't have a name yet you can think of one.
there's lots you can do right now and stuff you should start with now. i know it can be scary to go out in clothes you usually wouldn't dare to go out with and you surely won't feel perfectly comfortable and happy with it right away. so take small steps at a time and with each step the previous one will be easier.
>>5883267
Piggybacking off this, just wanna say that even though I can't pass yet, just wearing girl jeans out in public feels amazing. Wear a bra around the house on your day off. Hell, wear girly socks to work. Anything to hold off that dysphoric bullshit.
>>5877981
>>5880304
I had the same thing happen last year, so I talked to my doctor it's a normal thing for being on HRT.
That happens when you get the use it or lose it phase because it doesn't naturally keep itself stretched ever since you have no T, so unless you keep it stretched yourself regularly then it's going to hurt.
I tried, but decided it wasn't something I cared about enough for the effort & time it took, I've had a low sex drive anyways.
I need an honest opinion about my face.
I'm pre-everything btw.
imgur com/oWh8sOt
>>5882425
Thank you so much for your time and concern and for taking me seriously.
>doesn't sound like being a man is really an option, is it?
It has to be. I can't be a boy forever. I should already be a man by now. I don't know why I'm scared of it. I guess because masculinity doesn't fit me. I'm not cut out to be a man and I don't want to be someone I'm not. In some ways I do naturally behave like a man and that makes me happy. But I'm so feminine, and men aren't allowed to be feminine. I like my femininity, but I don't like that others don't. It only feels good to express in a socially acceptable way. To me it's not femininity, it's just me. Likewise I think normal men don't have to actively try to be masculine, they just are.
>you need to think deeply about how you want yourself to be and what makes you happy.
Right and there's no avoiding it now. I thought I'd feel relieved getting these feelings off my chest but I had stressful dreams all night about this, then woke up feeling very stressed and I still am. The problem is I'm so sensitive and being an effeminate male is the worst. Being accepted for being myself is the only way I could be happy and that's impossible.
>you don't want just any kind of dimorphic features, right?
Right, my features are at odds with myself.
>would you really be happy if all your femininity would disappear?
If that were possible, absolutely. People are disgusted by feminine men. I wouldn't have to constantly worry about acting inappropriately. Which in itself is not manly, to worry about that. I wouldn't have to worry about anything. I'd be so active I wouldn't even have the time to think about these things.
>>5882425
>>5883763
I've been considering getting my hormones checked and getting on androgens but if I've learned anything I know the femininity is who I am, like the Earth's internal influencing the crust and sometimes violently erupting (I never become violent, but there are phases where I'm even more feminine than usual). But if I were more manly, if my crust were stronger, my femininity would at least be more acceptable. I could be myself with less resistance.
>transitioning is very real and has helped a lot of people already that feel similarly.
>it has nothing to do with being able to handle the stigmas. it has something to do with not being able to be happy and enjoy life as your birth sex and the positives of transitioning outweigh the stigmas by far.
I guess the difference is I'm stuck in between. I still want to be a man too. That seems to be the only viable option. Or is it just as impossible as transitioning? I'm stuck in limbo. Maybe I only cling to the desire to be a real man because I want to be accepted and I don't see any other way. I would be so much more comfortable with myself if I were a girl, but I'd have so much more to worry about trying to transition, and it's probably too late. I need to become comfortable as a man and fulfill my societal role as one.
>please see a psychiatrist that has experience with gender issues if you can.
I want to but I've never been to a psychiatrist before and I don't know how I'd open up to them or my parents, and I don't think they would take me seriously. I don't want to be seen as a freak. It's better to be uncomfortable with myself than to make everyone else uncomfortable.
>>5883765
Another thing that's contributed to my misery is lately there's been a lot of macho brouhaha. A few years ago, everyone was edgy. Now everyone's a cuck. Just look at the authoritarian movement taking place with Trump and his supporters. Their main enemy is weakness of any kind. I can't compete with them. I tried debating a trump supporter (over text, I could never do such a thing in person. I liked rubio) and it was so stressful I broke out with three cold sores, contracted a cold, and then infected my family. That's what happens when I try to force myself to exert masculinity. It feels awful.
>>5882752
I'll have to edit it a bit to cut out named and so on, but I'll make a thread for it tonight and link it here. Don't want to hijack this thread just to tell my life story. :P
>>5882906
Thanks, that's certainly relieving to hear. I like being told that it seems like I'm trans, because it's hard to just convince myself all on my own to accept it.
>>5883267
I've definitely started doing some of those things already - mostly things I can do in private or secret, though as write , I have freshly-plucked eyebrows and mascara on in the middle of the university cafeteria. :P Hoping to get some more female (or at least androgynous) clothes in the summer - just can't afford it atm. Plus I'm terrified about presenting female in public when I obviously don't pass. :/
>>5883392
Yeah, I can agree with a lot of this! Haven't worn girl jeans out, but I've worn tights under my guy jeans, which feels great. I wear a bra to bed pretty much every night too.
The sock idea's a good one! I might have to try that, even though I just wear black socks normally, which are pretty andro.
>>5883763
>>5883765
>It has to be.
No it doesn't you're trying to let something else decide your life as an excuse for your unhappiness.
> But I'm so feminine, and men aren't allowed to be feminine. I like my femininity, but I don't like that others don't.
>I can't be a boy forever. I should already be a man by now. I don't know why I'm scared of it. I guess because masculinity doesn't fit me. I'm not cut out to be a man and I don't want to be someone I'm not.
>I would be so much more comfortable with myself if I were a girl
Then why not transitions your happiness is more important than meeting arbitrary social pressures you feel you have to meet.
Or ignore the social pressures and just be feminine there is no law against, I wore my hair very long and generally wasn't that masculine prior(& early on) to my transition and I didn't get near as much flake from people as I expected, a lot of the social norm pressures is a mental thing rather than a real thing.
>and it's probably too late.
It's never too late, it might be more difficult as you get older, but it can still be done.
>Being accepted for being myself is the only way I could be happy and that's impossible.
Why?; I know plenty of people who are accepted and loved in relationships despite being feminine males the mental stigma against yourself is thing preventing the acceptance & happiness because you seem to feel you don't deserve it because you're feminine. Who would reject you over it?
>>5880773
what?
http://www.drugs.com/interactions-check.php?drug_list=1034-14582,1445-2072
>>5883625
It's not a very clear picture, but my impression is that HRT and hair removal is gonna work out nicely for you. Can't see your brow line, but not much else is that masculine. You have a long chin, but you don't appear to have a big jaw, so that's good.
I think you'll be fine. You should get your hair in line in the meantime. It looks unruly but with good potential.
What are the chances of someone intensely thinking they're a tranny for 2 years and it turning out to be a misunderstanding?
I mean, there's still a chance I'm not an FtM, r-right?
>>5884851
You can only be sure when you give it a try.
If you can lead a better life as a man, then it doesn't matter if you're "truetrans."
>>5871031
lol fucking manlet
>>5884883
>truetrans
What now?
>>5884918
Truetrans is used to describe a person who shows more signs or being transgender. For example, you're truetrans if you knew from the day you were birthed that you were trans. :^)
>>5882752
Well, I'm an idiot and forgot that pastebin is a thing. So, Merry Christmas! Anyone who wants to read my life story (which I was dumb and made public on pastebin...), right this way:
http://pastebin.com/5ZGhLbP5
It's been 27 days since dispatch, and my package from QHI still hasn't arrived. How worried should I be? Can I get a tracking number from them if I ask? I'm on the west coast of USA, fyi.
>>5883613
Awesome, thanks. I was pretty sure something to that effect was happening, but just wanted to double-check. I have no desire to actually use it, but I've been drawing porn for people lately and my sex drive is making a bit of a comeback. So it's...not the best of times.
>>5883886
>The sock idea's a good one! I might have to try that
Bruh, the day I secretly wore fucking My Little Pony socks to work was magical. I was the happiest little faggot in the world.
>>5883128
No. e-check is from a bank. there are sites you can pay with credit card though
Am I doing it right?
>>5885667
I hope you at least did a test run of the medication.
>>5885754
What constitutes a test run?
>>5885802
No allergic reaction, blood work.
>>5885814
So you're asking if I've seen a doctor yet.
No, or I wouldn't be so desperate that I'm buying HRT online for a ridiculous amount of money.
I talked to an doctor and he said spiro only decreases your testosterone. I thought it is able to bring test down to near negligible levels. Which is it?
>>5885891
Those are both the same thing.
It only brings T down, having low T doesn't mean having high E.
You need something to lower your T and raise your E.
At what point should one consider graduating from bralettes to more "grown up" bras? Does one even need to?
>>5882436
I can not possibly transition. I'll lose my job, the respect I have in the military, (that is hard enough to gain as female anyway), and the support from my colleagues. It was difficult to establish myself as lesbian, the shit would hit the fan if I came out as trans.
>>5883889
I wrote SO MUCH, 3 walls of text spanning 5000 characters, and then the page refreshed and I lost it all :( all gone! I suppose it may be for the better...
So I know being a girl would provide me relief. It's hard to grasp that I may be trans because of that. I don't want to have to go through all of this when I have a healthy body, but my subconscious has already long been leading me with femininity before it ever came to the forefront of my mind. But me, a trans? It's hard to see myself with this label. It feels like it somehow makes both no sense at all and all the sense in the world at the same time. Gender dysphoria as a root cause explains so much about me.
You know, I remember when I heard of gyno, I couldn't figure out why it was considered a bad thing. And every depressive episode I've been through comes down to not being able to handle being a man, but isn't that normal?
The problem is the best we can be is a transgirl, and that comes with a whole new set of challenges. After giving it thought, it would be harder to be a man than it would to be a transgirl. I don't think I can ever be a man. If I could play the part, I would try being a man over a transgirl because I don't know how much faith I have in transitioning as a treatment, and I would be willing to give up inner peace and happiness for the opportunity to live an outwardly normal life. But more and more that feels like just a fantasy, a way of coping with the dysphoria.
Is transitioning going to be my only option? It's going to get worse isn't it? I'm just so scared of going through this process. I wish I'm not trans. I could be a normal guy with a hormonal imbalance or something that could be treated? I have to be a functioning member of society. I'm not. I'm so scared to interact with people even now as a "pass" I can't imagine how hard it would be as a transgirl. I hate my voice now, I have no idea how I'll talk as a girl. I just want to be comfortable as myself. I can't do this.
>>5886308
Okay, I'm going to just be sickeningly encouraging (I hope), so if you can't deal with that, leave now. :/
You can do it. I know it's a big, scary thing, but what's worse? Living a life that challenges you or living one where you wake up every day and hate yourself? Where you remember that day 5, 10, 20 years ago where you decided that you were too afraid/worried/nervous to make the choice you knew you had to make. I know I'm a huge hypocrite saying this, because I'm going through a lot of my own internal conflicts about things right now as well. But trust me. You said it yourself:
> After giving it thought, it would be harder to be a man than it would be to be a transgirl.
If you're at that point, where you feel like the easier, more natural lifestyle for you is to become a transgirl, I think that your decision should be pretty clear. And yeah, it comes with its own share of trials and tribulations. But that's why you have friends. Or a counselor. Or somebody that's there to help keep you sane. And trust me, that's a hell of a lot easier to do when you're at least happy with yourself.
If you're still having doubts, some of the posts in this thread I made might encourage you >>5881334. Apologies for the self-promotion, but I genuinely found that they made me feel better about myself, where I am, and where I'm going, so maybe they can do the same for you.
I don't know you irl, but if I did, I'd give you a hug. You're a strong person, and you can do this. I'm sure that you'll make an absolutely wonderful woman, and I wish you all the best!
>>5885667
>spiro
>buying large quantities from inhouse
no
>>5886394
That...was beautiful. A thousand internets and a single tear of solidarity to you.
>>5886308
Honey I would hug you so hard right now. You're voicing the exact same things that so many of us have felt. It seems SO HARD to start, I know. But once you're past that first hurdle, it's all momentum. Each person you tell is a little easier than the last. Every tiny new thing you discover fills you with joy, even negative things. I get ridiculously happy because of how fucking sad I'm capable of being at times. I know that as soon as I started HRT, I -immediately- felt better. In the weeks previous, I'd had breakdowns, constant suicidal thoughts, and zero pleasant experiences. Starting it felt right, like THIS is the shit my body's been missing all these years. I would absolutely not be here right now if I hadn't done SOMETHING about it. You've obviously thought about this a lot. You just have to take the first steps.
>>5885667
280 tablets of Estradiol would last me... 24 days.
>>5885005
>Thanks, anon. Stories like these make people feel less alone.
>>5886584
how is that possible...?
Hi
I'm taking Spiro and Estradiol twice daily.
Does it matter if I take them one immediately after the other, or should I be waiting an hour/two hours to take the E?
>>5886700
24mg daily b/c spironolactone does nothing for me.
>>5885177
if you ever plan on SRS you want to go through the occasional trouble of keeping it alive.
