So, I'm an MtF who is pre-everything, for the most part. I did start shaving and using skin products, as well as dieting and exercising to lose some unwanted weight. I really want to go on hormones ASAP but there are a few things holding me back, and I just need to vent about them.
For starters, I was dating this guy before I decided to come out, and when I did, things got...weird.
You see, he's the clingy type, and rather than trying to leave and move on, he insists that I put off hormones to "make sure" that this is what I wanted.
No matter how many fucking times I tell him about all the thought I put into it, all the research, asking questions on the net, and making ABSOLUTELY SURE that this is what I wanted before I even came out to him, he doesn't seem to care or listen.
It sucks that I actually care about what he thinks, because if I didn't I'd drop him like a flamboyant hot potato.
Other than that, I also have daddy issues, and I have to rely on my parents' housing to get through college. But that's self-explanatory.
So legbutts, what's holding you back? Doesn't have to be related to transitioning, more like what's holding you back from your true potential, or happiness?
I want to get electrolysis on my eyebrows, but it's so permanent I'm having trouble committing to a shape.
cripplingly low self-esteem and laziness that keep me from doing anything productive
>>5837205
>It sucks that I actually care about what he thinks, because if I didn't I'd drop him like a flamboyant hot potato.
Mmmmm ... so the fuck what. Drop his annoying stretched-out ass. Ain't nothing standing in my way of doing what I want, fucking who I want, dating who I want, and telling it to who I want. 'Cept laziness anyway. I'd suggest you do the same. Gambare anon-chan.
>>5837217
Hello me
>>5837217
I'm sure you'll settle on a shape that suits you. I honestly can't wait to get to the point where I can get electrolysis, I really hate having to shave or wax.
>>5837220
I was sort of like that for a while. I combated it by slowly caring less and less about myself, and that helped me get through high school. Only thing is, after I got out, it just got worse. I didn't care about my health or hygiene, nor did I give a single fuck if people didn't like it. It started hurting my health. It took an epiphany following my realization that I'm MtF to get me back on track, and I'm still not fully recovered.
>>5837238
I honestly wish it were that easy. I even tried breaking up with him, but I was doing what I could to make it less emotionally damaging on the both of us. All that did was push us back together again, and the tension is still fucking there.
>>5837288
You need to drop him. Clock's ticking sweetie.
>>5837388
I know ;_; He isn't the only one holding me back, but if it weren't him I'd have already visited the doctor and talked about hormones. I don't know if I can afford them, and I haven't taken out my one insurance policy yet (I'm 19, still on my parents insurance, and I can't use it because of, you know, daddy issues). God I wish I lived in Canada or something
>>5837437
>>5837437
Hormones can be pretty cheap if you get them from a discount drug store (generic brand will do exactly the same thing, don't bother with stuff like Finasteride or Spironolactone, just get a mix-dose of oestradiol and cyproterone). Also, you're young. You'll transition just fine so long as you cut negative influences out of your life.
>height
>blatantly homophobic and transphobic parents
>would be nearly impossible to have my dream career, and would severely limit my chances in other fields i'd like
>its embarrassing
i'm still hoping my circumstances will change and at least one or two of these won't be a problem anymore. maybe if i had a supportive bf/friends and an ok job...but it'll be a couple of years, at least.
>think I want to transition, or at least start mones, most days
>try wearing women's clothing or imagining myself with tits
>look in mirror
>disgust.jpg
>>5837595
It gets easier, sweetie. /pat pat
>what's holding you back
My skeleton -_-
>>5837288
>I even tried breaking up with him, but I was doing what I could to make it less emotionally damaging on the both of us. All that did was push us back together again, and the tension is still fucking there.
So break up with him again and take the fucking kid gloves off this time.
>>5837437
>[I]f it weren't him I'd have already visited the doctor and talked about hormones.
Are you fucking KIDDING me? You’re DELAYING YOUR TRANSITION FOR HIM? For a fucking FAIRY who sees you as a MAN and wants to KEEP you that way? You realise that every day you delay transition is a little bit of future femininity LOST FOREVER? BREAK UP WITH THIS ASSHOLE. TODAY.
>>5838155
Yeah, you're right. I need to shed my feelings for him, for my own future.
>>5838195
Atta girl! Gambare Hon-chan, I’m rooting for you. Think of him as a door between you and your rightful future as a beautiful princess.
You gonna date him at age 40? No.
You gonna regret waiting when you're age 40? Yeah.
Fuck this whole situation
>>5838605
>>>/reddit/
>Depression
>laziness
>extreme fear of AIDS and other STI's
>lack of support from people irl
>>5837205
Mostly my piece of shit town
We're nicknamed "stab city"
money
>>5839513
>stab city
Somebody ought to get fired from the naming committee
safety.
>>5837205
You're not transitioning because your gay boyfriend is a controlling douchebag?
Trust me, this is only the beginning of your problems with this guy. Just transition. If he doesn't like it, oh well. Do not destroy your life and your future because of someone else. Also this >>5837517 (worst case insurance issues)
>>5839200
You know... people of all genders and orientations get HIV. How is this relevant at all?
>>5840427
Well, I'm actually more worried about my parents than I am about him, it just really bothers me
>>5840400
asuka a shit
>>5840595
But you said you'd be on HRT if not for him, which is the important part. Tell us about your parents though anon.
>>5840694
Alright, let me clarify my situation. I want to go on hormones stealthily. My mom is supportive, but really doesn't like it. My dad would murder me if he knew. And my boyfriend is just a pain in the ass about it.
I think the hardest obstacle is getting on hormones without certain people knowing, and hiding it for long enough that I can move out and begin living my life as a girl. It really stresses me out, but at least I have a goal in mind.
As of right now I'm just trying to feminize myself by other means, so that taking hormones won't be as drastic a change for others later on.
>>5837205
I got no money and my entire surroundings are knowingly anti-trans.
I would move out, but then I'd need to tell my family. I don't want them to hate me, but I know they won't like what I would tell them...
>>5840727
>as of right now im just trying to feminize myself by other means.
let me fix that for you
>right now im playing with makeup and clothes and being a vegetarian, while testosterone is making my body taller, stronger, thicker, hairier, and more manly, permanently for the rest of my life. It's also masculinizing my BRAIN, making me think in a masculine male pattern the rest of my life.
>But im cool with all that because my dad has confusing feelings about it.
ARE YOU LISTENING TO YOURSELF.
all this anger i have at you, is really anger towards myself for making the EXACT SAME MISTAKES YOU ARE MAKING RIGHT NOW.
You are FUCKING YOUR LIFE UP, FOR YOUR PARENTS. This would be like if you had a little sister, and your dad was like "Ashley, i'd like you to inject huge doses of testosterone until you become hairy and thick, otherwise i'll feel emotional about it, and you dont want that!"
yeah that sounds stupid as fuck, but for some reason you're like "okay dad sounds cool!'
>>5840727
when you're 24-28 years old, and you look like a fucking hon, you're gonna tell yourself "well, its a good thing i didn't start hrt as a teenager, my dad woulda been really stressed... its not like i wanted to pass anyways. i like being a hon (:"
>>5840427
>You know... people of all genders and orientations get HIV. How is this relevant at all?
You're right, it's almost an excuse for me to stay repressed and depressed. Thanks
>>5840758
I'm not doing this because I care about my dad. I'm doing it because I'm afraid of him.
Let me paint you a picture real quick, just so you can see what I'm dealing with here:
>6'2"
>Jacked as fuck, lifted a lot of weights in his lifetime
>Prone to violent outbursts on a regular basis, but usually takes it out on inanimate objects instead of people
>Seething hatred for anything Liberal or Left-Wing
>Loves guns, owns a few
Again, I do appreciate your advice, and I plan on seeking out hormones within this very year, so chill out. Just please, understand that I'm fucking dependent on this monster for the time being.
>>5840774
I feel you TH.
I've had physically abusive boyfriends, and had to stay in psych wards or shelters. that lack of control sucks.
its hard to control my emotions when i see young bloods throw away their youth.. after i did the same thing. sorry i lost it for a moment.
I trust you though, and i really hope you can get away from him soon... start living life instead of letting it happen to you.
>>5840779
Hey, no worries. I understood that you were just trying to help me out, so it's cool. If anything, the amount of support you gave me really lifts my spirits, and renews my confidence to face the long road ahead.
You seem like a very good person. I hope life treats you better in the future than it has in the past ^-^
>>5840774
Take the risk.
He's almost certainly not going to KILL you. I have never heard of a father killing his gay son (or trans daughter) in the modern First Worls. Anything else he does, while it may be EXTREMELY UNPLEASANT AND DAMAGING, will be temporary. The havoc that testosterone is wreaking on your body and brain even as we speak is permanent.
>>5840727
>I think the hardest obstacle is getting on hormones without certain people knowing, and hiding it for long enough that I can move out and begin living my life as a girl.
First of all, you don't know how quickly hormones are going to work. You might as well start taking them now and then if you transition quickly, congrats, you can think about taking a break or lowering the dose temporarily because you probably have a much wider window to complete the rest of it. If the hormones work SLOWLY, then you need as much time on them anyway, and your father's not going to notice for quite some time as it is.
Secondly, hiding them isn't hard. Get a PO box and have them shipped there. If you can't get to the PO box every day then find some kind of aspirin or cold medicine or allergy pills that physically resemble them and keep a small stash on hand.
Thirdly, I realise that becoming a girl more or less immediately upon moving out has a nice sound to it, as it's like a visceral breaking point with your old life. But fantasies get in the way of reality. You need to move out PRONTO, and you can do it as a guy. If you then want to torch your old life LATER, just move to a different town once you pass. Yeah it's a hassle, but it's better than staying stuck in Honsville.
>>5840809
>Take the risk.
I plan on doing it, I just want to be careful about it.
>First of all, you don't know how quickly hormones are going to work. You might as well start taking them now and then if you transition quickly, congrats, you can think about taking a break or lowering the dose temporarily because you probably have a much wider window to complete the rest of it. If the hormones work SLOWLY, then you need as much time on them anyway, and your father's not going to notice for quite some time as it is.
Secondly, hiding them isn't hard. Get a PO box and have them shipped there. If you can't get to the PO box every day then find some kind of aspirin or cold medicine or allergy pills that physically resemble them and keep a small stash on hand.
That's some pretty good advice, I'll definitely keep this in mind.
>
Thirdly, I realise that becoming a girl more or less immediately upon moving out has a nice sound to it, as it's like a visceral breaking point with your old life. But fantasies get in the way of reality. You need to move out PRONTO, and you can do it as a guy. If you then want to torch your old life LATER, just move to a different town once you pass. Yeah it's a hassle, but it's better than staying stuck in Honsville.
See, here's the issue. The best I could do is move in with a friend, because as of right now, I'm a poorfag trying to get through community college using part of my dad's GI bill benefits. They run out at the end of this sem, so I'll have to go back to work to get through school. I certainly don't have the time, nor the money, to get a place of my own right now. I know some people I can talk to though, so I'll have to speak with them about all of this.
>>5840427
>all genders
both genders. tumblr gtfo.
>>5840827
Well, I fucked up that post :/
>>5840809
>I have never heard of a father killing his gay son
Maybe not, but I've heard of a father killing his Gaye son...
>>5837205
I'm 17, I don't know if I'm really transgender since I don't have dysphoria or anything I just kinda "want to" be a girl. And I'm worried this is gonna fuck up my life and make me ugly and all that shit.
>>5840848
I would definitely put a lot of thought into it, anon. I know it isn't easy to get into, but cross-dressing is a good way to tell how you feel about it.
My dysphoria isn't too bad, though it is definitely there, for sure. It took me a lot of time thinking and researching for me to come to the realization that this is really what I want.
So whatever you decide to do, Anon, just do it with thought and care.
>>5840861
lol funny you should say that...
I like cross dressing I guess but it kinda feels weird cause I'm so tall and broad shouldered. plus it turns me on so much, which makes me think this is all just a fetish and is gonna go away :/
>>5840877
Forgot timestamp
>>5840892
thats what I thought but climaxing release so much dopamine I think it suppresses the dysphoria for a bit. After accepting it as a possibility now I feel like a girl even after. Anyone else have this happen?
>>5840827
>The best I could do is move in with a friend[.]
Do it then. Anything to enable as early and successful a transition as possible.
>>5840916
Alright, I'll do it. It'll take time to work it out, and I don't know if any of my friends can take me in, but it couldn't hurt to try
>>5840910
well your girl tendency is lower after you cum, but if it wasn't very instant or the same intensity as usual, perhaps you need to try getting more pleasure
That's a shitty advice though
>>5840892
>AGP
From what I hear that theory's pretty discredited and hated in the trans community...
> If you no longer want to be a girl after you cum
I... this used to be the case, but now it's started seeping into everyday life. I've started envying girls instead of just wanting to fuck them. I'm so fucking embarrassed about all this to be honest, otherwise I'd have got a therapist or some shit.
>>5841023
>From what I hear that theory's pretty discredited and hated in the trans community...
Alright, my bad. No offense intended.
>I... this used to be the case, but now it's started seeping into everyday life. I've started envying girls instead of just wanting to fuck them. I'm so fucking embarrassed about all this to be honest, otherwise I'd have got a therapist or some shit.
I don't see why you should be ashamed of yourself. I used to be ashamed of wanting to be a girl, now I'm beginning to change into one. You are who you are, and if people can't handle it, it's their problem, not yours.
>>5841035
>Alright, my bad. No offense intended.
I'm not one of these [TRIGGERED] idiots, it takes a lot to offend me :^)
>You are who you are, and if people can't handle it, it's their problem, not yours.
yeah but... I like old school societal norms and shit. I don't want to be the outcast, the queerhawk, the postmodern hipster tranny freak. that's why I'm ashamed :( i genuinely just want to be normal
>>5839701
The naming committee was stabbed
severe lack of money and self confidence
There is a wasp in my house that i can't find :(
>>5841323
You could cover yourself in honey and let it find you! :D
>>5841408
I read online that soapy water kills them and I sprayed it but It just got mad at me. God life is hard.
>>5841023
>I've started envying girls instead of just wanting to fuck them.
Yeahhh there you go, sounds like you're trutrans after all. I've jacked off to shemale porn for years, and it's never made me want to BE one.
>>5841051
>yeah but... I like old school societal norms and shit. I don't want to be the outcast, the queerhawk, the postmodern hipster tranny freak.
All the more reason to transition NOW while you still have a chance at passing. You'll be a weirdo for a few months to a few years and then you'll be able to sit in church next to your boyfriend or husband as a normal girl, without anyone viewing you differently.
>>5841619
> sounds like you're trutrans after all
But this has just *started*, it's not like it's something I've always had. I'm worried it's gonna pass (no pun intended).
> while you still have a chance at passing
I don't think I do. 6'0 with a full on man face and reasonably broad shoulders.
>next to your boyfriend or husband
b...but I like girls
>>5841051
>yeah but... I like old school societal norms and shit. I don't want to be the outcast, the queerhawk, the postmodern hipster tranny freak. that's why I'm ashamed :( i genuinely just want to be normal
I feel you, Anon. You shouldn't be ashamed to show your true self to those closest to you though. If anyone deserves to see you as you are, it's them. If they have a problem with it...well, we all have to deal with that sort of stuff in one way or another anyway.
>>5841149
kek
>>5841642
>b...but I like girls
Oh but of course you do anon. (Pat pat.)
For now.
>>5842151
Hell if I know myself fully either. But, as you discover yourself, try not to hide things from those close to you. Trust me, it makes everything easier.
Unless, of course, you already know that somebody being informed of these things you find about yourself could pose a threat to you. Then, you just gotta try and sneak by, but always keep in mind that you can't hide it from them forever, and plan your life accordingly.
>>5837205
I am currently financially dependent on my fundie christian family.
If it wasn't for that, I'd probably be out to everyone and start transitioning.
Being black. :(
>>5842151
>wh..what are you insinuating? :O
You know exactly what. <3
no full body replacement cyborg bodies.
>>5843129
i second this motion
>>5843129
I have an agender friend who I'm sure would love one of those
>>5842234
I'm in the same boat, more-or-less. I plan on taking hormones and stealthing it until I rake in enough cash to move out
>>5843129
2 0 4 5
0
4
5
>>5843919
Yyyyyyup, and even without HRT it’s often an organic process of beginning to see oneself as a girl. Have fun being a beautiful girl who both plays with other equally pretty girls and gets ploughed by men.
>the thought of that kinda turns me on not gonna lie
O look it’s already happening. ^_^
>>5844761
> being a beautiful girl who both plays with other equally pretty girls and gets ploughed by men.
This is literally my fantasy. But I'm not sure about the me being beautiful part, I'm too man-ish to be beautiful I feel. I don't even think I'd pass. Plus doesn't HRT fuck up your sex drive?
>>5844793
>This is literally my fantasy.
Perhaps both at the same time? ^_^
>But I'm not sure about the me being beautiful part, I'm too man-ish to be beautiful I feel. I don't even think I'd pass.
Ehhh, you said you're seventeen or something? Unless you have a brow like a caveman and a jaw like a marine drill sergeant, that estrogen is going to take your masculine features, bend them over and ravage them like your future husband's going to do to you. Broad shoulders ain't gonna change but they'll more or less disappear into an hourglass figure as your waist thins and your hips widen.
>Plus doesn't HRT fuck up your sex drive?
Only for some girls, usually the super dysphoric and depressed ones. Others -- usually the girls more like you -- become supercharged, although it's ... DIFFERENT from a male sex drive, as is the nature of the sexual pleasure itself.
>>5845180
Not the one you were talking about, but since we're at it I might ask a question.
I think I'm trans ( my mind is pretty set up on this ) pre-HRT and basically, since I kinda accepted that I was a girl well I have the impression the world around me is shifting. Like, I want to socialize with people and sexually wise I have a strong desire of being treated like a woman in that regard. I feel like a sort of reassuring warmth when I think about how girly I could possibly become when taking moans for enough time, or when I am getting horny.
So, I guess HRT will kind of like ... reinforce these feelings? I don't feel particularly dysphoric or depressed. My depression phase got really killed since the moment I began to accept that fact, and still want to go all the way to transition. I still have some sort of anxiety attacks though when I start thinking about social stuff I mentionned a bit earlier.
>>5845245
>So, I guess HRT will kind of like ... reinforce these feelings?
Pretty much, though sometimes it turns certain things upside down, like orientation or how you like to masturbate.
>>5845291
can you elaborate on the masturbation bit?
>>5845180
>Unless you have a brow like a caveman and a jaw like a marine drill sergeant...
I don't, but I'm 6' tall and I have a really long face and big straight nose. Even if I'd pass, I'd probably need FFS to be pretty :/
>your husband
I don't think I could ever marry a guy. Fuck one, maybe, but I don't think I could experience any romantic attraction. This... this isn't gonna make me not like girls, right?
>as your waist thins and your hips widen
I've already started waist training with a corset and holy shit I'm kinda scared by how much I like it
Can't decide if it's what I really want in the long term or if it's just a fetish/AGP. I'm passable now in girl-mode without HRT, but I'm also only 18 and worry about what might change in a year or two physically.
>>5837205
I believe transsexualism is a mental disease. It should be treated with drugs and therapy the same way that people who one day wake up and believe their arms don't belong to them or that they are, in fact, dead. We don't cut off their arms or kill them to conform reality to fantasy, nor should we cut dicks off of people who think they were 'born with the wrong brain'.
On that note, which is it going to be: is there in fact such a thing as a female and male brain - which is what transsexuals suggest since they say they were born with the opposite brain - or is gender just a social construct, which feminists have been spewing for the last 30 years?
Your boyfriend is completely right in that you should forget about the whole hormones thing - you need drugs and therapy. Even John Hopkin's doesn't perform those types of surgeries anymore because they've realized what a great mistake it was, and that as many - if not more - people actually commit suicide after the surgery.
What you need is drugs and therapy, OP.
>>5837205
Lack of means and living in a shitty country that I can't transition in anyway.
I am pretty much just like you. Staying 'all natural' and going for the same ways you are to appear feminine. Relying on parents for financial support.
I also had a boyfriend and while he claimed he will support me and respect my decision when I came out to him, the way he acted proved that to be untrue. Owel. I am not saying you should ditch him like i did, but you need to make him understand how you feel and why you're not wrong.
But hey, my daddy issues are not pronounced enough that I'dneed to mention them if I were describing myself, so I've got that going for me... Wait a minute. Shit
>>5837238
>Degeneracy: The Post
>>5838472
Lol you washed up faggot, no amount of hormones will stop you being a disgusting freak that will die alone and depressed
>>5845356
>can you elaborate on the masturbation bit?
The whole thing about the peen ceasing to be the centre of attention, the whole body becoming an erogenous zone (overstated by Susanite hons but still accurate), and yes, enjoying taking it up the ass.
>I don't, but I'm 6' tall and I have a really long face and big straight nose. Even if I'd pass, I'd probably need FFS to be pretty :/
Cis bitches get that kind of plastic surgery all the time.
>I don't think I could ever marry a guy. Fuck one, maybe, but I don't think I could experience any romantic attraction.
A year or two ago did you think you could want to fuck one in the first place? Let alone become a girl and get fucked by one? Your true feelings are just beginning to solidify and HRT is only going to bring them out more fully.
>This... this isn't gonna make me not like girls, right?
Hahaha, no. You may like them differently than guys like them though. Like there's a ... reflective element in sapphic love: you see or project yourself -- or what you wish you were -- in other girls and that becomes an element of erotic interest, you're making love to your peer, your fellow, your equal. That might even be part of why so many trans girls begin liking dudes as they transition: having themselves fled from the role of the dominant, masculine commander, they accept a need for someone else to fill it. The two attractions are very different and thus can comfortably exist side by side, which is why so many cis girls are latently bisexual themselves.
>I've already started waist training with a corset and holy shit I'm kinda scared by how much I like it
See there ya go.
>>5845426
you're right
the correct treatment is indeed hormone therapy
>>5845558
ok here's what's holding me back most of all
i'll never be a real girl without srs
but srs can lead to loss of oragsm, and fuck that
>>5845566
Enjoy committing suicide a couple weeks afterwards.
>>5845571
plus, i'm worried i'm gonna regret it and want to detransition, but my penis will have shrunk. i have a pretty big dick, and if i'm gonna be a guy i don't want to lose that because i went through a dumb phase. does it grow back to normal if you stop hrt?
>>5845580
No.
Why do you think so many commit suicide after regretting their stupid phase and the lies people on boards such as this feed them.
>>5845580
You can keep it the same size while you're taking HRT as well, as long as you're using it. The girls that have theirs shrink are actively avoiding even having erections. Any part of the human body that doesn't receive use like that will atrophy, so keep using it, and you won't have a problem.
>>5845573
ok
>>5845426
I see what you are trying to say, and I do appreciate hearing things form your side of the argument. I don't think that gender is a "societal construct", that kind of seems like a laughable theory.
And about the whole "Born with the wrong brain/in the wrong body" thing:
I have a deep uncomfortably with the masculine aspects of my own figure. To be honest, I can't say where the feelings come from, only that I have them.
For a number of years I brushed these feelings off as degeneracy, and felt a deep sense of shame whenever they arose. I can remember having these feelings ever since I hit puberty. I hated that I was growing body hair, my voice freaked me out a bit, and my broadened shoulders really felt weird on me. But, I still pushed these feelings down, and tried my best to be a normal, functioning member of society.
A number of years later, after battling these thoughts on a weekly basis, I gave up. I decided to amuse myself and really study the thoughts I was having, and what they meant to me.
After a few weeks of scrutiny, research, and questioning, I came to the conclusion that I was in fact transgender. Ever since I came to that conclusion, my life seemed to shift into focus, and I started really caring about myself, and what I wanted, instead of what other people wanted of me.
Again, I would like to state that I see your point, and I understand you are trying to help somebody that you see as mentally ill. And hell, maybe I really am fucked up in the head, who knows.
But I would rather change my appearance to match how I view myself instead of try to force myself to think in ways that I naturally don't, and never have. I just think it would be less painful for me that way, because I had already tried to change how I saw myself, and it only led to confusion and sadness.
The fact that every time I try to do something feminine I look like garbage and filled with anxiety.
>>5845654
I don't think it would be, but it's better to be cautious since that's something that matters to you.
>>5845634
You should take a look at more recent studies, you fuckwit.
http://waltheyer.typepad.com/blog/2013/11/20-regret-changing-genders-over-40attempt-suicide-and-even-after-surgery-a-large-number-remain-traum.html
Even the former psychiatrist at Johns Hopkins, which was the first institution to really help people transition, now admits it was a serious mistake:
http://cnsnews.com/news/article/michael-w-chapman/johns-hopkins-psychiatrist-transgender-mental-disorder-sex-change
http://www.wsj.com/articles/paul-mchugh-transgender-surgery-isnt-the-solution-1402615120
http://www.infowars.com/former-johns-hopkins-chief-of-psychiatry-being-transgender-is-a-mental-disorder-biologically-impossible/
http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2015/06/15145/
>>5845643
>I have a deep uncomfortably with the masculine aspects of my own figure. To be honest, I can't say where the feelings come from, only that I have them.
And this is where you should have contacted a psychologist. They are there to help you with these feelings and help you get over them.
I am not saying the things I say to hurt or offend. I genuinely believe that thinking you were born with the wrong gender is a mental disease, because that is what the science suggests - and as such should be treated as one, instead of allowing people to conform delusions to reality.
I am extremely sure that in a couple of decades, we will look back at all this and wonder how we could ever be so cruel and not only let people mutilate their own bodies, but actually actively encourage it.
>>5845656
I dunno. Obviously if I'm gonna take this all the way it doesn't matter a damn, but I just worry I'm gonna be left with mad regret - if I didn't pass, or if I was ugly af.
>>5845571
>i'll never be a real girl without srs
Meh.
>>5845580
>i'm worried i'm gonna regret it and want to detransition, but my penis will have shrunk. i have a pretty big dick
Doesn't shrink permanently, it's not like the tissue dies, it's a usage thing and the blood vessels just atrophy if you stop using it, but they'll expand again if you resume. And while plenty of trans girls keep their dicks active and you'll probably be one of them (and make a particularly fine specimen with that big dick of yours to boot), if you really stop masturbating with your dick and resign your ass to getting pounded, I can't IMAGINE that you were ever really a guy deep down anyway
>and if i'm gonna be a guy i don't want to lose that because i went through a dumb phase.
You're not. Look at all the stuff you've written here sweetie. Guys don't think this shit, let alone say it. You're already a girl.
>>5845476
>>5845483
>>5845573
LOL look at these angry cis fags, so buttmad that you'll transition into a beautiful girl with a normal life while they'll always be exiled as abominable faggots detested by God and Man. Trust me, if you're thinking about guys railing you already, you're going to want to transition into female life pronto rather than risk becoming a bitter old queen like these sad angry boys.
>>5845672
>as abominable faggots detested by God and Man
>cis fags detested
>not trannies
wew
>>5845672
>guys don't think this shit
guys with AGP (i.e., maybe me) do...
>>5845670
>but I just worry I'm gonna be left with mad regret - if I didn't pass, or if I was ugly af.
Well, that's only going to get worse by floundering.
>>5845686
case in point, i got turned on by the fact that you said 'you're already a girl'. that's pretty much textbook agp, right?
>>5845679
Hating trannies is a meme here but in the wider world, if you pass, you go through life as just another pretty face in the crowd, at least as far as anyone else knows.
>guys with AGP (i.e., maybe me) do...
I don't think having AGP automatically makes you a guy, it just makes you a particularly lewd trans girl unless you ONLY want to become a girl for the 'gasms, but you've already said it's moved well beyond thay now. Most cis girls have AGP anyway (somebody link that study), it's part of what I said about feminine sexuality being reflective.
>>5845693
>case in point, i got turned on by the fact that you said 'you're already a girl'. that's pretty much textbook agp, right?
It's fucking hot is what it is. In seriousness, how do you think you're supposed to react when someone finally validates your repressed sexual identity? With Olympian indifference or placid Buddhist acceptance? Of course you're going to become sexually excited by the prospect of finally being able to be yourself sexually.
>>5845724
>well beyond that
I'm not sure that it really, truly has.
>>5845737
Then give it a little time. But if you're crossdressing when you aren't even fapping and your AGP isn't disappearing after you blow your load ... it's not just a fetish.
>>5845669
>infowars
I call people cuck starter pack.7z
>>5845758
It was just one of the first 10 google results I found, so sue me you mentally ill faggot.
Jesus what a worthless piece of shit you are.
>>5845791
>refuting peer reviewed papers with quick google searches
>>5845291
Big thing for me for HRT is that I was told you get really emotive, whatever the emotion is. And for me I feel this bit is really important, all horniness and AGP shit aside.
I want to be able to express feelings. And right now, I feel trapped and can't express emotions.
>>5845669
>And this is where you should have contacted a psychologist.
I was only about 13/14 when these feelings first emerged. I lived (and still do) in an environment where even mentioning anything like that to my parents was a death sentence, and I knew it.
>I am not saying the things I say to hurt or offend.
I never thought you did, to be honest. Even though my opinion differs from yours on the topic doesn't mean we have to be uncivilized about it, and I really appreciate your politeness and civility.
>I am extremely sure that in a couple of decades, we will look back at all this and wonder how we could ever be so cruel and not only let people mutilate their own bodies, but actually actively encourage it.
Plenty of people do other things to their bodies, and they have every right to do so, in my opinion. Getting things like tattoos, piercings, and other body augmentations should be up to the individual who seeks them, and it is their responsibility if they end up disliking them in the future. I believe the same should go for transitioning. Like every right we have as individuals, it is my decision, and my responsibility to deal with the consequences of that decision.
Though therapy could be a viable solution (assuming there are studies to prove such a claim), I personally don't think it's the solution best fit for me. I feel like it would just be forcing me to think a certain way, and I don't feel all that comfortable doing that.
To summarize my thoughts, I do see what you are trying to say, and I don't really disagree with it as a concept. I just think it isn't the solution best fit for me as an individual.
>>5845809
>refuting the former head psychiatrist of the world's leading hospital dealing with transexual people with an outdated paper
gg faggot
>>5845813
>it is my decision, and my responsibility to deal with the consequences of that decision.
Sure. I just wish that you, and people like you, would at least give therapy a try because the amount of people who regret going through surgery and end up killing themselves are staggering. Really horrifying stuff and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.
You say it isn't the best solution for you but you haven't even tried it. When even the head psychiatrist of Johns Hopkins who has dealt with and studied these issues for decades now says it's all a huge mistake, it really should open the eyes of people and start questioning whether or not it is a good idea.
>>5845839
>You say it isn't the best solution for you but you haven't even tried it.
I've been in similar circumstances with psychologists and medication regarding a mental issue I have (I was diagnosed with the ADHD at a young age), and none of it worked. The drugs really fucked me up, so I stopped taking them.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't want to change mentally. I've had some bad experiences with that, and I think transitioning would be an easier and more satisfying solution for me to take. If it turns out to be worse, then fine, I'll admit you were right about it and see what I can do to correct that.
>>5845839
When it's one person versus consensus that person needs to have compelling evidence. Not so in this case.
>>5845810
Eeee, that doesn't sound like a fetish at all, that sounds trutrans as fuck. I'm sorry anon. (Hugs.)
>>5845810
>I want to be able to express feelings. And right now, I feel trapped and can't express emotions.
Holy shit, are you me?
>>5845862
Please read my last reply to to the other faggot that I'm arguing with below:
>>5845870
http://cnsnews.com/news/article/michael-w-chapman/johns-hopkins-psychiatrist-transgender-mental-disorder-sex-change
>Dr. McHugh, the author of six books and at least 125 peer-reviewed medical articles, made his remarks in a recent commentary in the Wall Street Journal, where he explained that transgender surgery is not the solution for people who suffer a “disorder of ‘assumption’” – the notion that their maleness or femaleness is different than what nature assigned to them biologically.
>He also reported on a new study showing that the suicide rate among transgendered people who had reassignment surgery is 20 times higher than the suicide rate among non-transgender people. Dr. McHugh further noted studies from Vanderbilt University and London’s Portman Clinic of children who had expressed transgender feelings but for whom, over time, 70%-80% “spontaneously lost those feelings.”
You are wrong. There are a lot of people who DON'T want to hear this, because it goes against the feminist agenda that is being pushed so hard right now.
>>5846002
http://www.transadvocate.com/clinging-to-a-dangerous-past-dr-paul-mchughs-selective-reading-of-transgender-medical-literature_n_13842.htm
>McHugh, again, appears to selectively reading the literature to support his own agenda. It is first important to note that Dr McHugh is grossly misconstruing the findings of the Karolinka study. The study compared the mental health of post-surgical trans people with age-matched cisgender controls. The study itself posits absolutely zero link between gender confirming surgery itself and the mental health of these people, and the authors themselves caution against interpreting the data in such a way:
>“It is therefore important to note that the current study is only informative with respect to transsexuals persons health after sex reassignment; no inferences can be drawn as to the effectiveness of sex reassignment as a treatment for transsexualism. In other words, the results should not be interpreted such as sex reassignment per se increases morbidity and mortality. Things might have been even worse without sex reassignment. As an analogy, similar studies have found increased somatic morbidity, suicide rate, and overall mortality for patients treated for bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. This is important information, but it does not follow that mood stabilizing treatment or antipsychotic treatment is the culprit.”
>>5845750
>if you're crossdressing when you aren't even fapping
I don't even know. I don't always intend to fap but it always makes me so horny that I end up doing that, hence why I think it could just be a fetish...
>your AGP isn't disappearing after you blow your load
I'd say it decreases, because it's really fucking intense as I'm getting there - like, *really* intense - but it's still there somewhat.
>>5846002
>>5846149
>“Then there is the subgroup of very young, often prepubescent children who notice distinct sex roles in the culture and, exploring how they fit in, begin imitating the opposite sex. Misguided doctors at medical centers including Boston’s Children’s Hospital have begun trying to treat this behavior by administering puberty-delaying hormones to render later sex-change surgeries less onerous—even though the drugs stunt the children’s growth and risk causing sterility. Given that close to 80% of such children would abandon their confusion and grow naturally into adult life if untreated, these medical interventions come close to child abuse.”
>Here again, Dr McHugh appears to be warping and distorting medical reality to fit his own narrative and political position. McHugh is correct in his assertion that 80% of gender-nonconforming children do not go on to adult gender dysphoria. However, gender identity is far more firm in adolescents. Puberty suppression is NOT provided to prepubescent children- the current WPATH Standards of Care indicate that individuals should reach at least the Tanner Stage II of sexual development (meaning puberty has begun) before suppression can begin. Dr McHugh is drawing a false comparison, attempting to assert that the adolescents provided with puberty suppression are the same children of whom 80% will not have persistent gender dysphoria. They are, in fact, two very different and non-comparable groups. Furthermore, McHugh’s categorization of these treatments as dangerous (and constituting child abuse) is simply false. He provides zero evidentiary support for this statement, while medical research has established that delaying puberty is a safe intervention. Taken as a whole, it seems clear that Dr McHugh’s absurdly designed “categories” of trans people are little more than political grandstanding and fear-mongering created to smear and defame the whole of the transgender populace.
>>5846002
>>5846149
>>5846161
>It is important to remember that the opinions of Dr McHugh fly in the face of currently accepted medical practice and the positions of many major medical associations. The American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association, the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology, the American Psychiatric Society, the American Public Health Association, and the World Professional Association for Transgender Health have all adopted positions supporting the medical necessity of transition-related care, including hormonal and surgical interventions, as well as expressing support for insurance coverage of these interventions. Despite his authoritative sounding title at a respected medical institution, Dr McHugh’s opinions do not represent the views of the mainstream medical establishment, rather they are the erroneous, bigoted beliefs of a scientist who appears far too invested in his own antiquated, disproven theories and his anti-LGBT political position than the current state of medical affairs.
>>5845879
Thanks for the support. Honestly I feel already better about social interactions now that I know for a fact I am a girl. For me, transition is more about my own mind, how I perceive and interact with the world. If I can feel better about social interaction and about feeling and expressing emotions, and be able to say like hugging, touching people, then it will already be a big win for me.
Of course appearance is cool, and I honestly can't wait to see the physical change when I'll start HRT, but it's more like icing on cake than the cake itself.
>>5845889
Hug me, sister c:
>>5846161
>Furthermore, McHugh’s categorization of these treatments as dangerous (and constituting child abuse) is simply false. He provides zero evidentiary support for this statement, while medical research has established that delaying puberty is a safe intervention. Taken as a whole, it seems clear that Dr McHugh’s absurdly designed “categories” of trans people are little more than political grandstanding and fear-mongering created to smear and defame the whole of the transgender populace.
This is the view of the author, who most likely thinks it's okay to put 3 year olds on hormone changing drugs because his two lesbian mothers just know that he REALLY wants to be a girl - as was the case in Canada.
People view transgender rights, very wrongly, as akin to the rights of homosexuals and lesbians, when it's nothing but a mental disease. It is not a popular stance to take, but it is the right one.
>>5846236
Nice strawman. Meanwhile the WPATH standards of care recommends waiting until adolescence to try reversible treatments like puberty blocking drugs in case they're just gender non conforming.
>>5846291
Yeah, that's the most sensible option aside from just not letting people do that and give them proper therapy and drugs.
But the reality is that a lot of crazy people put extremely young people on these hormone drugs and pretty much ruin their lives. This is a direct result of third wave feminists and the transgender lobbyists.
>>5846393
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/news/11519603/Rise-in-child-transgender-referrals.html
>"The number of children referrred to the NHS as a result of transgender feelings and confusion about their gender has quadrupled in five years, new figures show"
>"The trust, the UK’s only centre specialising in gender issues in under 18s said that in total, the number of under 11s referred to the unit has risen from 19 in 2009-10 to 77 in 2014-15."
You can't seriously believe that it's natural, no one is that fucking retarded.
>" Jessica's mother Ella – also not her real name – said she had been accused by a relative accused her of "conditioning" her child.
>An anonymous call was made to the NSPCC claiming Jessica's parents were "forcing their boy to live as a girl".
>Her mother split up with Jessica’s father some years ago and is now in a long-term relationship with a woman."
>>5846458
I read the entire article and it seemed like nothing shady was happening. The children highlighted were clearly in distress, and were offered counseling and support.
Older children approaching adolescence were offered reversible puberty suppressing hormones.
Increasing awareness will lead to more people seeking support or questioning. And it's 77 children for the entire UK, and not all of them will be trans, but the ones that are will be in a much better place should they decide to transition.
They weren't force fed high octane tranny pills at the age of 5 like you seem to be implying.
>>5846522
>They weren't force fed high octane tranny pills at the age of 5 like you seem to be implying.
It starts somewhere.
>>5846564
Aren't you getting tired from moving those goalposts?
>>5846569
No, because there have been cases like the ones I mentioned earlier, but I'm not going to find the specifik one. I'm really not that interested and I'm going to bed soon.
Feeding into the delusions of mentally ill people is wrong and disgusting. Just because you're a damaged person doesn't give you the right to advocate people to conform their fantasy to reality by telling them that they'll be happy if only they'll cut their dicks off.
>>5846593
Excellent rebuttal. I eagerly look forward to your keynote speech at the next APA conference.
>>5846613
This is my last post. It is clear that you're a mentally defective fuckwit.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/transgender-children-getting-more-drug-hormone-treatments-1.1294699
>A small but growing number of teens and even younger children who think they were born the wrong sex are getting support from parents and from doctors who give them sex-changing treatments, according to reports in the medical journal Pediatrics.
>An 8-year-old second-grader in Los Angeles is a typical patient.
http://thefederalist.com/2015/02/02/what-parents-should-know-about-giving-hormones-to-trans-kids/
>So I was shocked to learn that physicians administer cross-gender hormones to kids under the recommended age of 16 and many gender specialists believe “it is best to slowly initiate cross-gender hormones at the same time that the patient’s peers are entering puberty, typically around age 12-14.”
>Johanna Olson, medical director of the Los Angeles Children’s Hospital Center for Trans Youth Health and Development, in a message directed to medical students, said that she has been “skipping the blockers” and placing children twelve years old and even younger directly on cross-gender hormones.
>Gender dysphoria has been theorized to be a consequence of differences in the brain, but studies don’t find any. A recent study at the Department of Clinical Neuroscience, Karolinska Institute, Stockholm, Sweden, says; “The present data do not support the notion that brains of male to female transgenders are feminized.” The study could not find a difference in the brains between heterosexual men and that of male to female transsexuals. The brains in trans boys are no different than non-trans boys.
>>5845612
>Why do you think so many commit suicide after regretting their stupid phase and the lies people on boards such as this feed them.
Honestly because they probably aren't aware, or aren't fully aware of the objective scientific reality that they probably have an intersex brain. They probably conclude that they ARE exactly what you say, delusional crossdressing homosexual men who hope that feeding the delusion enough will make them feel better, and kill themselves when the culmination of that strategy, SRS, fails to reconcile fact amd feeling. But the problem is not that they ARE delusional, but that no one has come along with a chart of their intrinsically feminine neurology and set their minds at ease by showing them they're NOT delusional.
>>5846673
>that they probably have an intersex brain
"Gender dysphoria has been theorized to be a consequence of differences in the brain, but studies don’t find any. A recent study at the Department of Clinical Neuroscience, Karolinska Institute, Stockholm, Sweden, says; “The present data do not support the notion that brains of male to female transgenders are feminized.” The study could not find a difference in the brains between heterosexual men and that of male to female transsexuals. The brains in trans boys are no different than non-trans boys."
Go kill yourself.
>>5846669
The first article details exactly what we've been discussing, children getting puberty blockers.
>In another Pediatrics report, a Texas doctor says he's also provided sex-changing treatment to an increasing number of children; so has a clinic at Children's Hospital Los Angeles where the 8-year-old is a patient.
>The drugs used by the clinics are approved for delaying puberty in kids who start maturing too soon. The drugs' effects are reversible, and Spack said they've caused no complications in his patients. The idea is to give these children time to mature emotionally and make sure they want to proceed with a permanent sex change.
>Only 1 of the 97 opted out of permanent treatment, Spack said.
For the second article: the author cites one case, and it's still not what the standard protocol dictates.
>>5846696
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-there-something-unique-about-the-transgender-brain/
My study's newer, nyah nyah. Though of course you wouldn't be so angry if this were really about scientific fact. You're just another cisgay who's absolutely livid at the prospect of people who superficially seem to be in the same boat having a chance at real happiness and peace of mind, while you're unfairly consigned to a life of Grindr sluttery until your looks give out in your thirties and you're denied even that small source of solace. Take a page out of the older gay generation's book and ignore the girls, go get AIDS, and die.
>>5846235
>Of course appearance is cool, and I honestly can't wait to see the physical change when I'll start HRT, but it's more like icing on cake than the cake itself.
That's the sense I get from most trans girls who aren't transparently fetishists. This is why I think accepting not just that one WANTS to be a girl, but that one objectively IS a girl (or at least mostly a girl) is essential for peace of mind. Otherwise you're basically gaslighting yourself, if you'll forgive my momentary use of Tumblrese.
>>5846358
>This is a direct result of third wave feminists and the transgender lobbyists.
It is, and they're wrong too. Their fact-free ideological approach risks putting confused but fundamentally cisgendered young kids in the exact same hell from which trans folks are trying to escape. Not to mention the fact that the ludicrous feminist rationale for trans acceptance (check your privilege, shitlord) has monopolised the discourse in a way that prevents many trans people from ever receiving the sound scientific documentation that their condition and felt identity are objectively real, causing them to langour in depression forever. I understand that many of the early advances for trans rights have been made under the banner of feminism but they are allies of circumstance only and we are now past the point where we should go our separate ways.
>>5837205
Looking like complete trash 3/10 male I'd make an even shitter woman, we're talking huge body, feet and shoulders.
Transgirls constantly tell me it's not true but I'm not blind
>>5846157
>I don't always intend to fap but it always makes me so horny that I end up doing that, hence why I think it could just be a fetish...
It's natural and healthy that you're considering this closely. That being said, I'm strongly inclined to doubt that this is just AGP if you're doing it without masturbation as the motive. If masturbation HAPPENS anyway that's still very different, and makes sense since, again, most women are autogynephiles.
>I'd say it decreases, because it's really fucking intense as I'm getting there - like, *really* intense - but it's still there somewhat.
O God this is turning me on now -- as I sit here saying it's not just a fetish. >.<
>>5846845
>"Their results, published in 2013..."
Try harder.
>>5846845
>until your looks give out in your thirties
Yeah, because old trannies are so hawt.
lmao
>>5846899
>It is, and they're wrong too. Their fact-free ideological approach risks putting confused but fundamentally cisgendered young kids in the exact same hell from which trans folks are trying to escape.
Finally, a non-mentally ill person here.
Too bad it's time to sleep.
>>5847006
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21467211
>2011 Nov
Well that blew up in your face.
>>5847034
>Yeah, because old trannies are so hawt.
That's what happens when they listen to you and delay transition. On the other hand -- and take note, little pseudo-AGP girl from >>5845737, because this concerns you -- other then surgeries, effects from a year or two of estrogen and anti-androgens come undone pretty easily, and for the most part just result in the masculisation process being delayed for awhile.
>>5847113
Are you talking about the study you posted? That just makes it even worse, then.
The Swedish study I posted in an article was published in 2015, might want to check all the links before you prove to everyone what a moron you are.
>>5847214
Uh, no, my study was published in 2013. The Swedish study in the article you posted was from 2011 (and you would have known that if you were actually reading these things), it’s just the ARTICLE you posted linking to it that was from 2015.
>>5845356
>I've already started waist training with a corset and holy shit I'm kinda scared by how much I like it
Pix. Nao.
>>5848018
my results aren't very impressive because i've just started like a couple days ago
>>5849326
You were worried about your passing prospects with the broad shoulders right? Well, let us see what we're working with her. Full body photo at a flat angle, don't have to show us your face.
>>5849740
contemplating just saying fuck it and posting my face. but there's my body, anyway. also
>Well, let us see what we're working with her.
Lol nice Freudian slip
>>5851707
ANON!! I was asking for a picture of you in a corset, still clothed, not exhibiting your naked body to the world! I was quite clear in asking about the corset; your perverted mind really must have run away with the instructions! You must be awfully desperate to show off your feminine figure, and I can see why! Never in all my days did I expect to have reason to use this hentai line in real life, but that body of yours ... it's exceptionally lewd! I mean, look at those girlish hips! Boys as skinny as you don't have hips that curve out from their waists that far. Either your body has willingly submitted to the corset in such a short time and you've already started to become a girl, or you really were born this way and were fated from day one to realise the womanhood you've been trying to deny. I wonder if you're intersex or have some sort of excess of female hormones? If that's the case you might as well finish what nature started and start taking estrogen. If this is your natural body then it's clear that it's trying to kill its own manliness so the anti-androgens would be a mercy at this point.
But whatever the case may be with your figure I KNOW you weren't born with a smooth crotch like that. Just look at that deliciously girlish softness, no bumps or redness or anything! There's no way anyone could believe that this is your first time shaving your crotch; you must be quite experienced at it by now in order to have perfected such smoothness. Do you shave your soft little balls too, I wonder?
You might as well post your face at this point, since you've shown us everything else, from your lewd child-birthing hips to your pinkish nipples to your smooth girlish crotch and all but the head of your girlcock. Not really anything left to hide here, might as well get advice on passing potential in the facial department. It's not like your friends are watching and if they were, they're either closeted trannies too or chasers looking to fuck girls just like you.
>>5852320
go away hugbox chaser.
>>5852320
Holy shit, I think this is the cheesiest thing I've ever fucking read.
>>5837217
If I were you, I would just get them cleaned up around the edges so you could pick different styles later. Switch them up every once in a while and such.
>>5852344
Pipe down you miscreant, this poor little sissy can barely get hard anymore without being told what a good litttle girl she is. You're doing her no favours.
>>5852444
Holy fuck, you are so unsettling to listen to. Please cut out that fetishistic shit.
>>5852444
>>5852320
congratulations you've creeped me right the fuck out. i think you've actually scared the trans out of me, if that's even possible. what the fuck did i just read. you're not even making sense.
> use this hentai line in real life
<cringe>
>I wonder if you're intersex
nope
>I KNOW you weren't born with a smooth crotch like that
of course i was born with a smooth crotch, babies don't have fucking pubic hair you muppet
> no bumps or redness or anything!
that's just the light, i have razor burn all over my damn crotch and legs
>There's no way anyone could believe that this is your first time shaving your crotch
it is
>Do you shave your soft little balls too, I wonder?
nothing little about them, but yes
>You might as well post your face at this point
not after reading that, not a fucking chance
>child-birthing hips
hardly
>pinkish nipples
what the hell color are anyone else's nipples
>chasers
like you?
>>5852344
fucking thank you
>>5852444
can you not, please. i'm trying to figure myself out and your fetish shit is really not helping. i fucking hate the sissy fetish.
>>5837205
My jaw, it's so fucking manly. My family, if my family were accepting I would have ordered injections this time around instead of pills again. Fear, if I weren't afraid of my pediatrician's opinion of me for gender dysphoria, I would have seen an endocrinologist a while ago.
