This is the Trans Help General thread. We'll try to help you here with everything related to being transgender.
This includes questioning, appearance, daily trans problems, medical info, general info and other interesting stuff to name a few.
MTF, FTM and questioning people are all welcome here to help eachother and discuss possible solutions.
You can also share your transgender related stories here. Just came out? Or you just need to get something off your chest?
Maybe something wonderful happened today! We'll be glad to hear it, it's always good to know we're not going through this alone.
Links:
Articles, Studies and General information about Questioning, Transitioning and other stuff: http://pastebin.com/CyW1dXV8
Lots of useful links about/for transgender people: http://pastebin.com/h1vLPxyV
Transgender FAQ: http://pastebin.com/8QbKyShU
Am i trans/ trans help threads archive:
http://archive.loveisover.me/lgbt/search/text/trans%20help%20general%20%23/username/annicole/type/op/
Therapists: http://www.t-vox.org/index.php?title=Therapists_by_region
http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php
sort by transsexual issues
What will hormones do?
mtf: http://imgur.com/lDBLSVR
ftm: http://imgur.com/HqTqvJg
Previous thread: >>5790862
I would like to add new questions to the FAQ: http://pastebin.com/8QbKyShU . If anyone wants a general (or often asked) question answered there, reply to this post and i'll see what i can do.
Questions that include specific situations won't be added to the faq, as it's answer will probably be different for everyone.
>>5815942
I think I've posted something about this in the last few threads, but any chance there could be some resources for how to tuck? Particularly more in-depth ones that aren't on YouTube (as those can be hard to follow due to the lack of imagery).
Thank you!
reposting from the last thread
according to my therapist, for me to be allowed on hrt i have to have a lot of stereotypical womanly traits, my problem is, i dont know what this means from the mental side of things, i have always had a more feminine state of mind i believe, but i cant put words on it.
how do i know if i have the traits or not? i never looked at myself in the black and white view of "this is male and this is female," especially when it comes to stereotypical traits
>>5816323
I'd argue find a different therapist.
Buuut, I think they're thinking of manifestations of your feminine mind you claim to have. Do you notice accessories on women, do you really care about your handwriting, do you obsess about what youre going to wear.
It's dumb for them to ask you to meet their definition of what a woman is, but it's reasonable if you say you have a feminine mind for them to ask what you mean by that.
My therapist was more concerned with how I felt about my body, it's secondary sexual characteristics and why I wanted a more feminine one. Then again, I never said the cliche of thinking I was in the wrong body.
>>5816505
if only, this is what my current therapist was warning me about happening at the only place in the country (getting referred there soon) with the authority to give the diagnosis.
i havent made a big case for having a feminine mind, as im kinda in a grey zone if they were to prod enough at it, as i said its not really a black-white thing. i never liked the idea of the roles of genders in society, as my therapist put it. i never thought of categorizing things as male or female, and wouldnt know where or how to begin...
i too never said that cliche either, but over all im a bit annoyed with potentially having to argue for a hypothetical place in society that hasnt existed here since the 1950s. in addition to that, there are quite a few stories about how patients have had to go though a check list of things such as "do you wear satin underwear?"
>>5816561
oh also, they consider that if you arent attracted to your birth gender, that is half your case gone
So, I'm a 21-year-old MTF. I've been on hormones for about five months (almost exactly week shy), so I decided to come out to my friends and family, aaaaand that turned out to be a really, really bad idea. None of them want anything to do with me anymore.
What now? I guess I have a clean slate to start anew, but I don't know if I can just get over that kind of rejection. :/
Pic unrelated. Some girl on /r/transtimelines had a photoshoot with her mom that's evidently very supportive. I wish I had that.
>>5815942
I don't know if it's really for that FAQ but you should put something somewhere about the difference between breast buds and breast tissue. We have a threadly TruTrans™ MtF special snowflake wonderchild who thinks they're going to get DD breasts because they got some breast fat on week one of HRT.
>>5816870
My parents offered me no support whatsoever either, in fact they delayed my transition by three years since I came out at fifteen. You get over it. Personally I just cut all ties after telling them I was in fact transitioning and said 'Call me if you change your mind.' You can't let them restrict your life choices but you can't force them to accept your life choices either.
>>5816561
This is so strange to me. My psych literally said to me within a few minutes of meeting 'I won't do anything to stop you getting hormones. If you want them, I'll write the referral today. I'm more here to check you haven't got some bigger issues'
And I got the referral that very day. I was very surprised as I thought Australia would be a complete shitfight for this stuff.
>>5816323
>>5816561
>>5816569
You can always just lie through your teeth.
>Oh yes doctor I most certainly love dick.
>My hobbies are cooking, cleaning, and embroidery.
>I sure do wish I had a purse, teehee~!
The trans narrative exists because it used to be necessary to feed that to your therapist to get a diagnosis. Whatever country you live in is probably still stuck in that period of thinking.
>>5817179
lucky you, i hope things will go with out too much trouble here, im gonna ask for the referral next time i see her.
>>5817198
thats an option, id prefer to be honest though, and according to, as far as ive interpreted it, my current therapist she thinks too im trans but is concerned about the ones who will have the final say. at least i can tell the truth when it comes to not having good experiences being with a woman
also tfw id cook if i had the motivation and liked doing embroideries in school
>>5817179
I'm in the US bible belt and on my third visit with my therapist, basically three weeks in, I said I wanted to be start HRT and she readily agreed to write a letter to whatever endocrinologist I could find.
She might have been willing sooner, but I think because of other issues with myself she wanted to be outright ask for what I wanted.
>>5816561
It's really no wonder older transgendered folks are such caricatures of 1950's housewives.
I wonder how much of this has to do with old therapists with old mentalities on gender dysphoria and how much it just has to do with how gender roles have changed in the last half century. Just go back one generation for someone in their 40's and they would see all the women in their childhood being compared to stereotypes like that; the women MTFs wanted to be ARE that.
>>5817263
holy shit, you got a point there.
they just scrapped the protocols they used since the 30s this year and have nothing new finalized yet, so im hoping they will be more up to date with how society is today, or at the very least be receptive of feedback
When I think about a future in which I transition I don't feel like I would hate myself any less than I do now. I would just hate the little discrepancies inherent to being trans rather than hating my existence in general. Sometimes I think I might hate myself more because of how close I would be to what I want to be and yet having no way to attain that desired self. Anyone else feel this way before transition?
I have a serious question about HRT timelines,
How long into HRT does it take before I notice hair regrowth on my head? I'm not balding but my hair got thinner the last few years and I've had some receding hairline in the front. this is all prior to starting HRT and I'm only a month in. Not expecting anything right now, but I'd like to know when I'll know its happening. I wish
>>5817294
>I don't feel like I would hate myself any less than I do now.
And I imagine you hate yourself pretty deeply.
I haven't transitioned yet but I'm about to start HRT and I also felt a deep, bitter hatred towards myself, life and society in general.
I worried I would just be some kind of deformed tranny thing that's just a mockery that people would whisper about and "be nice" to because they felt sorry for me.
But my therapist put it into perspective this week.
A HRT transition is so much more than just physical, hormonal or psychological. It's your chance to find "you". As your body aligns itself more with your self-perceived self, you need to open yourself up to explore what it really means to be you, to find what you're comfortable with, to explore your boundaries, to find what really makes you happy.
There's nothing magical about any of it and it's not made of miracles, but the hope is that by becoming closer to your ideal self you learn to accept the rest of you. It's a journey and you're trying to figure out what "you" are.
SRS-created genitals probably aren't going to be reproductive in our lifetime. You're not going to get to live your childhood again as the right gender.
But you CAN find more of yourself. And you CAN move forward.
Besides, nobody is their ideal self anyway.
>>5817355
>How long into HRT does it take before I notice hair regrowth on my head?
On finasteride, about 6 months. That's the only one I personally know of that counteracts male pattern baldness. I know some people take spironolactone and finasteride together if they're transitioning and having hair issues.
>>5816870
I have yet to come out to my family, but that is almost exactly how i expect it to go. I dont know how anyone handles it, or prepare for it when your expecting it. I already know some of which friends that will reject me.
>>5817355
"Ask your doctor if finasteride is right for you".
I don't know how much it helps while already taking AA's (apparently DHT, the thing responsible for male pattern baldness is created from T), but I've seen plenty of people mention also taking it as well so other than maybe side effects, I don't think it can do any harm.
>>5817399
thank you! 6months, ok, thats a long wait but I can do it.
I am on both finesteride and spiro for that very reason.
>>5817399
I heard dutasteride works better for hair loss. you regrow triple as much hair on a 2.5mg dose but the side effects are stronger. Anyone know of this?
>>5817422
A cursory reading of the NIH page on dutasteride would suggest that taking it with an AA would kill your liver in a month.
I'm not a doctor though.
>>5817435
"Dutasteride is sometimes prescribed as a supplemental anti-androgen in male to female hormone therapy. While it has not been studied and it's beneficial effects have not been documented it is thought that the drug will inhibit the formation of the more powerful dihydrotestosterone (DHT) from whatever testosterone is left in the body after the main anti-androgen has done its work."
https://www.susans.org/wiki/index.php/Dutasteride
>>5817443
>While it has not been studied and it's beneficial effects have not been documented
You're welcome to be the guinea pig. There's already liver risks with any AA and it doesn't seem wise to up the ante.
>>5817443
Interestingly enough, on the same page: "But a clinical study done by GlaxoSmithKline, the EPICS trial, did not find dutasteride to be more effective than finasteride in treating BPH."
So yeah, you might want to save yourself from being a guinea pig and just accept what finasteride gives you. Of the two types of DHT apparently created, type 1 is blocked better by dutasteride (by an order of magnitude) but type 2 seems to play a much bigger role in male pattern baldness and they're both very good at that.
Seems like the risks heavily outweigh the rewards.
>>5817456
Yeah, NO! 3x results is tempting but I want a functional liver thank you, also not interested in "for science"ing on that one
>>5817456
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MUGAxpI0Bc
Anyone have experience with coming out to LGBT parents? My mom has been with a woman for 17 years and on top of this thinks she knows everything there is to know about trans people, but doesn't know I'm trans. I'm just worried this will make it harder for her to accept me since she didn't "guess."
>>5817512
>Mom I'm trans.
>No shit. I've been waiting for you to come out for three years now.
>>5817520
That's the best case scenario.
>>5817512
Interesting. I dont know, she'd probly be ok, yeah a little akward that she didnt guess before. but you probly have it better than most.
I have a gay brother, there are days where i think he might know but I havent made it completely obvious. But my mother has no idea, She's the one I'm worried most about, my brothers been out for years and she still questions it, or cant believe it
>>5817543
>there are days where i think he might know
What makes you think that? I wonder if my mom has been dropping hints that she knows but I'm too oblivious to pick up on them.
I'm also worried about her not believing me since she didn't guess it.
So today I realized and was basically outright told by a few co-workers just how much the people at my work respect and like me. We've had some tough months lately with a pretty high turn over rate. They went through several people for my position before they found me and they had just opened. I've stuck it out, even though there were nights where I was battling my demons and people asked me if I was alright because I seemed "mad".
The customers also really respond well to my positive attitude (or just indifferent, some people just are). Since working there as a kind of "clean slate" I haven't felt like I've had to use my deeper register out of fear of people thinking I'm a faggot or something.
I'm kind of already known for being an unusual person. My main co-worker on my shift is the same way, but she's a wonderful but lonely grandmotherly-type. We're both loners and we joke we have no social life ("she mostly talks to her cat, and I don't have a cat.")
I think I'm finally emotionally ready to deal with the slow, painfully public aspect of transitioning (but lurking androgyny as long as necessary). I think the people in my life will at the very least still respect me and I know my favorite co-worker would defend me to anyone.
I'm sorry for the long ramble. But it's a good feel and had to tell someone. It feels like I'm drunk but it's a buzz all over and it's cleaner. I think I'm... happy?
>>5817554
Because hiding in the closet, and I slip sometimes, say something or do something that may give him a hint. and then he gives me look, like he's asking himself a question.
Hahaha yeah my mom probly wouldnt beleive me either. well if my hair's grown out and I look alittle more feminine from hrt maybe she will
>>5817576
Good luck. Don't rush into it though. Go boymode until you're ready.
>>5817576
Good luck, I'll have to quit my job before I come out. too much anti trans talk lately :(
>>5817622
Maybe he thinks it's a sex thing and nothing else.
>>5817576
>I think I'm... happy?
>mfw
Just kidding. I'm happy for you anon!
Why are many trans people so strongly against therapists trying to relieve their issues through therapy before throwing them off the deep end into HRT?
>>5817663
Therapy does not treat a transsexual's feelings of gender dysphoria.
>>5817709
Has anyone tried it for more than a month before throwing a fit and self medicating?
Therapy certainly won't work if you go into it with the mindset that it can't work.
>>5817737
therapists are the people that recommend the hrt...
>>5817663
I think the problem with the issues people here have is it's a default state of mind.
You can spend years repressing and trying to "fix" yourself and do the right thing by living straight and right according to what would make others proud of you.
But then out of the blue it slips back into your life. It's on your mind again. You remember what you're running away from. You remember why you got really religious. Or you remember why you dated that girl friend for so long. Maybe even why you married her.
Maybe you see someone from a time in your life when you were more honest. Maybe you hear a story on the news about someone who went through HRT. Or you look at someone and just feel disgusting jealousy or envy.
The issues are a life-long train of thought.
Some people will feel negative about the comparison, but "reliving the underlying issues" of gender dysphoria is like trying to make someone not a homosexual anymore:
It -seems- to work for some, others just develop even more anxiety and depression and self-hatred. For the ones who it seems to work, some will "slip" and have a life crisis that could end very poorly. "Fixing" it can lead to worse psychological problems than the original problem. It's better someone thinks they're the other gender than to kill themselves (from a humanitarian's perspective. Or a doctor's. Certainly some would want them to do it.)
>>5817787
>I swear I've seen these two exact posts before.
You probably have. I'd check the archive but apparently it's still down.
>>5817737
Yes. In fact, I've been in therapy with two different people since October. My situation has only gotten worse.
Have you people forgotten where we are?
>>5817857
The bait is so delicious though.
>>5816870
I can't promise it will work for you but you could try back what I did when my parents offered me pretty meh to shitty support at first for a while.
So under advice of some here and my therapist I wrote them a letter on my thoughts, feelings, and experience about my being trans and how important it was to me, I wrote nearly 4 pages, and it swayed them a good deal then and over time since they became much more accepting of me.
So I think doing something like that is worth trying to win them over.
what changes will my face have with hormones?
>want to start practicing voice
>don't want anyone else in house to hear
>super thin walls
Can I practice while keeping a very quiet voice or do I have to do it at normal speaking volume to actually get results?
>>5818250
I noticed I had massive jaw muscles before mones. They have since shrunk significantly and it can make a big difference.
>>5818322
You're training your voice. If you train to whisper like a girl you'll be able to whisper like a girl.
>>5818322
Go outside. Speak to nature in your girl voice.
>>5818322
Go outside. I like to drive around and find a place next to a lake at sunset.
Can I stop Spironolactone for a week and then start again with the dose I stopped at? Let's say I started at 50mg, but stopped when I eventually reached 200mg. Can I start at 200mg safely a week later after stopping?
Asking here because my doctors are of literally no help.
>>5818447
You should be fine.
>>5818447
What's the logic in starting with small doses, anyway? It's to ensure there's no allergic reaction? To allow the body to comfortably adjust? I'll consider adjusting my dosage when I start getting blood work done. But right now I'm just going to aim for 200mg.
>>5818469
Definitely a large part of it is to see if you're gonna have an allergic reaction to it. Starting at low doses means less of a reaction. Dunno about body adjustment though.
>>5818447
Considering tons of people start at 200 you should be just fine.
>>5817737
Been in therapy for three years now- going on HRT ASAP at this point. Next session is on the ninth. Therapy is a great tool for dealing with other mental/emotional issues, but at this point it has not lessened my dysphoria, only lessened my self denial/criticism (by about 1/1000th of a percent, but still it's a start)
>be me, male, 20, and in college
>on summer break, basically working full time and gaming in my off time
>meet this guy in a game
>believes I'm a girl, my voice is pretty convincing and thinking of starting HRT right when I graduate
>keep talking to this guy, really hitting it off
>really start to fall in love with this guy
>it's the very last day of my summer vacation, we're watching the movie Her
>one thing leads to another, end up end up starting to date
>he still believes I'm a girl, don't tell him since I'm afraid he would dump me
>talking about meeting up next summer I have off
>eventually he finds out (looks up my name on facebook and finds real me instead)
>explain everything to him, he still is into me so we keep this up
>basically flunking out of school, spending most of my free time talking to him instead of studying/homework/things I need to do
>retaking the classes I failed last semester, on the road to failing them again
>struggling to pay rent, no room mate and working part time so living paycheck to paycheck
>really want to start HRT, but have no idea where to start or even how I'm going to pay for it
>could probably bum with my parents, but the fear of coming out to them is too great
What should I do? I'm 21 now, and I've already sunk so much money into school, but I'm starting to humor the idea of just dropping out and running away to meet this guy and just leave everything behind, but I still don't know how I'm going to pay for HRT even in that case.
>>5817355
About 5 months now I have been on and I can notice some significant hair regrowth. My genetic said I would probably be bald by about age 30. I am 19 so it may be more dramatic for me than if you are older.
>>5816870
seek employment, and if you are studying continue that as well. Make money move out of your home and transition without them.
>>5817294
Before transition I always doubted if I was going through a phase and would regret it later and I think a lot of it was the fear of how transition would affect me. Since starting hrt I have almost no thoughts of this and have no regrets
>>5817663
I had 6 months of counselling where all they did was sit me down and ask me to meditate and rate how I was feeling. yes it helped a bit to talk to someone but in 6 months you would think they would have referred me to someone able to help.
>>5817737
after this I waited another 2 years before deciding I would either kill myself or start hrt so I started self medicating
>>5818250
rounding out of the face, some ocular changes, facial hair will grow less frequently or at least for me. I think I have had a less thick facial hair growth as well but many believe that doesn't change anything, some freckles may appear and skin softens.
>>5818447
would be better to continue than stop but shouldn't have much effect
>>5818926
>I still don't know how I'm going to pay for HRT even in that case.
HRT is relatively cheap in my experience compared surgery or laser or etc.
>>5819538
Laser should cost you no more than $200 for eight full sessions of face, and that's the only area that HRT won't bring you in line with cisgirls in anyway. And eight sessions is MORE than enough for most.
>>5819541
200 total? All 8 sessions costs 200 total? That's not too bad. I was expecting they would cost 200 each visit.
Is it safe to self medicate?
>>5819657
It's safe. Just don't be stupid.
>>5819657
The most important thing to note about self medication is that excess estrogen turns into testosterone and excess testosterone turns into estrogen.
If you try to speed up the process by using more, you may end up actually setting yourself back.
>>5819606
I think they meant per session I've been paying $175/session for mine.
Does anyone have stories about transitioning while in a long-distance relationship?
>ftm
>dating a cis bi guy who leans hard towards women and fem guys
>met and started dating pre-everything, but out
>I've been ready to start T for years but haven't because of unsupportive family
>finally coming up on chance to start t
>he wants me to wait to until we're living together so he can experience the gradual change and adjust to it
>no guarantee of him being attracted to me after T regardless of if he's with me when I start or not
>huge potential for 'move in, start t, devastating break up, have to move back in with unsupportive family' scenario
>pretty sure the guy is the actual love of my life
I'm scared as fuck
Any FtMs hanging around that could help me out?
My other half is pre-HRT FtM and wants to start in a few months. I'm not sure what to expect and a little worried, since a bit of a fiery temper is already a thing even without taking T. I'm terrified of the idea of that possibly getting dramatically worse.
So just...maybe knowing what to expect would help?
>>5819769
Several states away. We've hung out quite a few times irl and skype pretty much every night. The last time he came to visit, he stayed over for a full month, so it's not like we haven't been around each other in all our gross human being glory. But adding hormones into the mix, with subtle, weird changes?? Man....
How long distance are you? Have you asked your bf about how easy it is to get a job in his area/looked into cost of living there?
>>5819809
I've heard that the temper thing tends to be sort of a placebo, where if that's what you expect before starting, that's what you get. Also that moods tend to worsen toward the end of your t shot cycle (right before you get another one) so 1 week cycles are easiest on emotional health. I'm pre-t though, so this is just what I've heard from friends.
>>5819831
Every little bit helps.
>>5819606
For all eight sessions. Use groupon, find a deal and then go to the place direct and make a deal. They make so much more if you book directly.
>>5819820
He's in the Netherlands and I'm in the states, so not really close at all. We haven't had the chance to do anything in person yet, but I've been playing around with the idea of just leaving everything behind here and basically be a highschool runaway, but I don't even have a passport right now. So far it's been limited to skype stuff.
He says that it'd be super easy for someone like me to find a job there, and minimum wage there is so much higher than it is here, so it's a possibility.
>>5819878
Ah yeah, that kind of distance makes it tough. If you're willing to work through the time zones and stuff, though, it sounds like you're pretty dedicated to each other. I know there are some websites that offer student discounts for plane tickets, and there may be something like that with passports, too, although that's totally foreign territory to me, so I'm not positive. If you work for an international company, there may be a chance to transfer, as well, so you start out with a job as soon as you're over there.
Is flying out there/him flying to you a plausible summer vacation plan so you have some in person time together?
>>5819904
If we were to meet over the summer, it'd have to be him coming here.
My main concern is that if I go there while on HRT for maybe a month or two, if they would even let me on the plane to come back. Right now I'm working for a kroger grocery store, so I'd probably have to just apply somewhere for a real job.
My parents would probably help cover any of my expenses if they needed to, but I'm honestly just so terrified of coming out to them or anyone in person for that matter. It's an awful situation, but I feel the same as you. I envision being with this guy for the rest of my life, I just don't want to mess anything up.
>>5818454
What about me? Will I be fine?
I've always been torn with this issue, but i pass and have gotten srs and whenever i see or read people talking about trans stuff I get sad because it usually ends with them saying we are male, but like iv'e transitioned and am past that so i get sad... how should i see myself...
>>5819052
>seek employment, and if you are studying continue that as well. Make money move out of your home and transition without them.
I already work and go to school full time (somehow), plus I live on my own if you count living on campus. That being said it sucks knowing that the people that have stood by you through thick and thin suddenly don't want anything to do with you. That's the hardest pill I think I'll ever have to swallow.
I'm thinking of doing what >>5818174 did and writing some kind of letter. Hopefully (and that's a big hopefully) that will get through to them to some degree?
I don't know. This sucks.
>>5819925
Do you have a sibling or good friend that you can trust to keep their mouth shut? People like that are good to practice coming out with.
But yeah, I can totally see how traveling overseas would be nerve-wracking. Just keep talkin with your guy, and hopefully he can help with your comfort level and confidence in however you decide to do things.
I'm gonna hit the hay pretty soon, but if you believe in good vibes
I'm sending some your way. Best of luck, anon, hope everything works out for you.
>>5819926
We're all going to make it.
>>5819683
I've heard that's not true.
You still shouldn't start high because that's dumb, hormones are powerful shit that effect a lot of things in your body. You could also fuck up your development.
Testosterone does aromatase into estrogen but it doesn't work in reverse.
If you're not on an anti-androgen your body may make more testosterone to counteract the estrogen though.
Googling it that also seems to be the consensus.
Also before anti-androgens got big I know the typical way for chemically transitioning for MTFs was to use a really high dose of an estrogen without an anti-androgen. That was in order to suppress the testosterone.
>>5819987
firstly best of luck,
secondly
>That's the hardest pill I think I'll ever have to swallow.
obviously you haven't had Spironolactone yet
>>5819809
In my experience this hasn't been a big problem, though it's only been four months. The first few weeks I got hot flashes and basically went through a very compacted transition to menopause. That was a fraught stage. I was irritable and impatient with friends and family, and had little time for things other than introspection. It was a rollercoaster of "What the hell am I doing?" and "This is the best decision I ever made!"
But after not too long I mellowed out. Got better at predicting and understanding my emotional reactions. A few months in I'm more relaxed and more confident than ever.
However, I'm still gradually bumping up my T dose. I took it unusually slowly in the beginning because I want to preserve my voice and gauge changes, especially emotional ones. I fully expect to hit some turbulence some time.
Hopefully he's aware he's got a hot temper, so you can actually talk about it without him revving the engine. It's best to bring up someone's emotional instability when they're relaxed. "Duh", but still.
>>5819683
E will absolutely never turn into T.
What do, /thg/?
I can't find the strength to speak to a therapist about gender issues. I have avoidant personality disorder, I constantly hide behind jokes so I don't have to invest myself emotionally. I got tested for autism recently, and there was a pre-interview where I mentioned the fact that I never had a relationship and was totally confused about my sexuality, but I couldn't bring myself to talk further because I feared the therapist wouldn't know how to deal with it appropriately. (turns out I'm not autistic).
I can't self-med for trial, I mean I could, but I have anxiety over my health (I actually had several panic attacks last year when I managed to convince myself that I had deep vein thrombosis).
But the thing that really blocks me, is that I don't know where to go with all the things I've been thinking about for now six months. As long as I can remember, I've felt like being male was the short end of the stick and I couldn't project myself as a man in a relationship. Yet it didn't actually become an existential issue for me until I had to project myself as an adult (I'm 22 and now working) and until I realized trans people were not just a few crazy rich people and creepy old crossdressers.
I don't really have a sexual orientation, I do have a fetish for cock but I'm not into males in general. I also get mildly jealous of the girl when I see a heterosexual couple and the idea of being the guy feels like something I could never sustain or even want.
cont.
>>5821273
I've come to hate my body and facial hair, that I now shave regularly, but it didn't bother me until I started having those thoughts, and it doesn't feel fundamentally wrong, though I do wish it could just go away permanently so I don't have to shave every other day to feel better about myself. I also feel pretty uncomfortable over the idea that my shoulders might get bigger (I've always wanted to stay skinny as possible) or the fact that my hairline is subtly receding. I don't really know what to do with the idea of having tits or large hips. I feel uncomfortable when hearing my recorded voice because it's really deep (and I mean baritone-deep) and monotone compared to what I imagine , but the idea of faking a higher voice doesn't feel much better.
I don't dislike my dick, I just don't feel the appeal of using it for sex. I would rather be submissive and all the fetishes I've ever had were submissive.
All things considered and from what I've read, I feel like I would rather be on estrogen than on testosterone, but also like I would have to fake a lot of things that would make me presenting as female pretty uncomfortable. And unfortunately I live in your typical western-european gatekeeping country where you have to go to support groups to find about the good gender therapists. I want nothing to do with trans people for a whole lot of reasons but also because I feel dysphoric, but not necessarily trans.
I don't know what to do with all this questioning. It's draining my energy and I already feel emotionally dead. I'm just overwhelmed and unmotivated, yet I know just sitting around and waiting to feel worse isn't a good idea. At least I can vent here because I don't have a genuine enough relationship in my life where I could talk about all this.
>>5815933
Hey everyone, I have no way to get bloodwork done, and have not had any levels checked, I've never had a naturally high T level because I could never gain muscle mass no matter what I did, and I've been on 200mg spiro/ 4mg estradiol valerate(sublingually) since 12/24/15. I still have another year's worth of meds if I stay at this dosage.
My question is how reliable is it to just go based off of results that I'm getting, basically playing it by ear so to speak. I have pretty solid fat redistribution and breast growth going on already, only been on HRTfor 3mo and seems like i'm ahead of the curve for average results.
I know its risky to go without bloodwork but honestly don't care if i die in the process if it doesnt work out.
Would it be detrimental to my transition to just continue what i'm doing until I can afford to get bloodwork done? like, will i be fucking up the potential changes by not having levels right?
thanks
>>5821273
>>5821277
I don't really know how to help you, but I can relate to basically everything you said. A lot of my doubts have come from the way I felt in the past and how long it took me to start thinking about this stuff, not from the way I feel now. But now that I HAVE started thinking about this, I've realized a lot of the shitty things I felt in the past (largely related to the way my body looked/looks) and my own lack of motivation toward life probably stem from being trans. I honestly can't think of another explanation for it at this point, especially since the way I feel now is so similar to the way I've heard other trans people describe their own feelings. I decided to just start hormones and see where it takes me. I know that doesn't really help you that much, sorry. I get where you're coming from though, and eventually the fact that I was so stuck on this and that my feelings were so persistent at this point just made me sort of come to terms with the things that had me doubting and eventually just stop worrying about them. I decided to stop worrying about being the posterchild for transness and just do what I thought would make me happy.
>>5821545
Take it orally. A girlfriend of mine was doing sublingual for a year and when she finally saw an endo and got bloodwork done, basically she had the hormone levels of a cis guy still.
Since moving to oral, at the same dose, her hormones have improved significantly.
>>5821573
Really? Thanks! I've seen alot of anecdotal evidence saying sublingual is better for levels since it bypasses the first-pass metabolism by the liver.. gonna have to try this and see how the next month goes.
>>5821579
When used in conjunction with spirolactone (which isn't actually an anti-androgen, but allows your body to flush out free T once it's no longer binded), the estradiol NEEDS to go through the liver metabolization or the spironolactone can't flush the free T
>>5821586
damn.. so ive wasted 3 months of estrogen by doing it wrong :( got results out of it at least so i guess its not all for nothing. Didn't know that. Thanks again hopefully this works out better.
How do I act like a guy? And before anyone says, just be yourself!! That shit doesn't work I don't want to be myself
>>5822174
Its hard to say, just observe other guys and how they act, adopt what traits appeal to you. I subconsiously did this with girls prior to realizing i'm trans.
It wont be easy of your ftm and still look feminine, especially if they find you attractive even if you look like a tomboy, guys act differently around girls than they do with other guys. If they know your female and think your even remotely attractive they will want that pussy, and they will say it just like that too. but not all guys think like that some are more gentlemenly.
Mimicry will be your ally, do what they do say what they say if you have to.
Now i know you dont want to hear this part, but if being yourself is not helping you act like a guy and you want to be a guy then maybe thats not who you are, just saying.
>>5821573
>>5821586
Wait so would taking it orally yield better results than sublingually? I'm only a month in and have been taking estradiol sublingually. have been doing it wrong?
>>5821545
Hey only a month in myself, and going the same route, except i'm only taking 2mg or estradiol a day sublingually. When did you up it to 4mg?
>>5822387
Definitely doing it wrong. It spikes in the bloodstream and is gone within six hours if you do it sublingually.
>Willingly decreasing your IGF-1 by taking orals.
You're all taking the train to flat-city.
>>5822431
well shit, so its been doing nothing? :( at least I'm taking AA's to lower my T. thats doing something for me
thank you, I'll change that asap.
>>5822450
Endocrinologist > You
>>5822643
What's that supposed to mean?
The endo is mostly there for blood tests and prescriptions, they're not all-knowing.
In any case enjoy your less than ideal chest.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22108915
>>5822701
I've had three different doctors, one of them an endocrinologist, stating that any benefits of sublingual are outweighed by the diminishment of the active life of the estrodial.
Is there a way to keep my penis from dying if I take hormones?
>>5822728
Both oral routes are bad.
Injections are best, patches are fine too.
>>5822740
Just use it regularly.
>>5822741
Injections are also by and large not possible for many US people.The stigma about buying needles, especially the filter needles required for drawing, is horrendous.
Self-medder here. QHI now stocks Androcur at 80 euros for 56 50mg tablets. Been on spiro for 4 months, feel like the lethargy etc. is hitting me hard, and I'm planning on coming out to my GP soon, so I might switch. What's a good dosage regime? 1 tablet a day, and keep taking 2mg progynova every 12 hours? Should I start of at 25mg with a pill cutter and work my way up to 50mg? How will I know if my dosage is high enough?
>>5823194
I should probably add, my liver is in perfect condition and I don't drink alcohol, and I'm 21. So pretty low risk.
>>5822353
>Now i know you dont want to hear this part, but if being yourself is not helping you act like a guy and you want to be a guy then maybe thats not who you are, just saying.
Eh. Acting like a guy can be a lot of things. I'm FtM and I pass easily so I get away with a fair few effeminate mannerisms before people think I'm acting off. I'm also in Europe which I've been lead to believe is largely less restrictive of masculinity. Euro guys are guys nonetheless.
>>5822174
If you reinterpret "be yourself" into "do stuff that feels right" then that may be a better behavioral filter. But if you don't have any specific gripes then I don't know what else to tell you. Adopt a wider body language and carry yourself deliberately.
I'm having trouble accepting that I'm trans. I know I am, but mental hurdles are preventing me from getting anywhere with my gender therapist or talking with people about it. Gender therapist tells me if I accept the fluidity of it, it'll be a lot easier... Shit has been bothering me for a year now.
>>5817179
>Australia
Where in Australia?l I assume somewhere on the Coast ps also MTF from Australia
...is it possible to become more dysphoric in the same direction after being on hrt
>>5823199
I started at 25mg for 3 weeks before moving up to 50mg, for me i believe 50mg was enough as I stopped getting involuntary erections and began getting dry ejaculations
I'm really fucking close to just self-medding until I can get into see an endo. Therapist has cleared me to see one but they all want a "medical doctor's note". Not even sure my GP will even go along with it with a note from my therapist. Doctor's visit is a week from now. Even if he'll play along and prescribe it himself it could take a while from there.
It's probably discouraged to talk about self-medding in this general, but how long is the shipping process from the usual sites for someone in the US? I'll feel a lot easier once I'm on AA's.
what razors do you use for your face? i have pretty coarse beard and need to change razor every other day, anything more economical i can do until hair removal?
>>5825618
Personally I'm going to switch to a safety razor. It's wayyyyy cheaper in the long run and allows a closer shave. Less blades is also less risk of razor burns.
I wish my poorly closeted friend would just cut his repression beard.
Actually, I both want and don't want to talk to him about the fact I strongly suspect he wants to be a girl. I'm afraid I'll burst a dam and he'll start leaning on me too heavily for emotional support. Especially since he's said shit like that if only he were a girl the two of us might date. That would never happen and was pretty uncomfortable for me.
I like him a lot as a friend, but I get stressed out by manoeuvring other people's vulnerabilities. I really can't take neediness right now because my own life is coming apart at the seams. But I feel like I have to say something because his closet is so transparent even though he doesn't even have the confidence to shave the beard. He's a total sperg but I love this guy.
What should I do?
>>5825618
Feather is supposed to be the sharpest there is, assuming you're already using a double edge razor. If you're not, then get on that whole thing. It's cheaper and better.
>>5825673
What are the signs that tell you he wants to be a girl?
>>5825670
>>5825673
ive been debating between a safety and a straight razor for a bit, got any input on that?
im currently using overpriced pic related...
also repression beard, i know that too well i removed it a few weeks go.
>>5825679
Fuck, man. A million little conversational hints. When we're hanging out at his place he wears peacock feather earrings. His hair is really long. He grinned ear to ear when a group of us had a bad taste party at HM and he got complimented on how he looked in a skirt. He always picks girl characters when playing video games.
Stuff like this. Just a lot of stuff like this.
>>5825698
so he's a girly guy? did he ever mention to you or give off the impression that he is uncomfortable with having a male body?
>>5825705
He's kinda spergy, so I think he thinks his conversational hinting is more subtle than it actually is. But one time he said that he couldn't ever know if he would have been happier had he been born a girl. Then one of our other friends was like, "What the fuck are you talking about?" and so he got tangled up, tried to backpedal and crashed. I feel like he might have said more if he hadn't been put on the spot like that. It's kinda like he wants to get called on it, but gently. I don't know how, though.
Our friend group is pretty open. We've had a lot of little conversations on gender and gender roles and everyone has something they're hung up on and dislike, but other than me (I'm FtM) he's the one that stands out. Just the two of us have talked at length about those topics, and I always feel like we're circling something.
I mean I suppose he might just be girly, but even if it's just that I wish I could like give him some courage to explore it more. We live in a super liberal place in a super liberal circuit of people, he's honestly going to get minimal shit if he wants to get pretty.
>>5825694
I haven't tried one, but straight razors are known to be unforgiving with mistakes in technique. I would go with the safety razor and a good soap for the lather. The shave would still be much better than what you're getting, and once you get comfortable with the technique you can take the step up to straight. But at that point maybe you're ready for the permanent stuff.
>>5825771
any recommendations on safety razors and perhaps technique to use with them?
How long could those online pharmacies take to deliver to the middle of the US?
You know the ones.
>>5815933
I'm an ftm transgender, but I identify as Afrogender, not male. Is it ok for me to use nigger as my gender pronoun.
>Example:
"I hate that nigger."
>>5825806
You can claim to be transnigger if you want.
Whether anyone defends you for thinking you're that. Well...
>>5825771
>but even if it's just that I wish I could like give him some courage to explore it more.
then you need to make up your mind. do you want to talk with him and get involved or do you want to keep distance?
next time you're talking about those topics you could try to close in on the matter?
>>5825775
My razor is Mühle R89. I checked and it's $55 on Amazon. But you can go cheaper. I found Merkur Heavy Duty recommended on Sharpologist and it goes for $30 right now. Basically, what you want is a little heft to the thing so when you put it to your skin a downward motion is like 70% controlled falling and 30% you.
As for technique, this is what I do (I learnt from youtube, so you can probably go there and find even better advice):
Wet your brush
Moisten your skin (preferably take a shower, or just wet it)
(Apply pre-shave balm - importance depending)
Build lather with brush and apply to face (I googled "shaving soap that smells feminine" and found good results on Robbit)
Shave first pass with the hair, whatever that means for your face.
Rinse face with water
Reapply lather and shave a second pass across the grain (This is my last pass, because I simply have to look non-disgusting with my sparse facepubes, but you can:)
Reapply lather and shave against the grain
Rinse
Run astringent alum stone across face
wait
Rinse
Apply aftershave
wait
Apply (hypoallergenic) skin lotion
If you get a shadow every day, I recommend taking a weekend to do one more pass each day and see where you get irritation. Especially the against the grain pass can irritate skin on the face. If you get irritation you might want to switch blades to something more efficient. But as your hair gets softer (HRT) you'll probably want to get less sharp blades again.
>>5825819
Okay, yeah. I have to get it together and be there for him.
Any like... how do I make it clear that I want to be supportive of him but I don't want us to date? And especially that that's not because he's bad in any way. I just don't. His fragility is palpable. I can tell he thinks no-one will ever find him sexually attractive and that's probably why he's latched onto me. I wish I could just give him some of my confidence. It came to me in spades when I learnt how to dress. I wish I could give him a makeover or something.
>>5825954
>how do I make it clear that I want to be supportive of him but I don't want us to date?
well, i don't really see a connection here but idk. tell him that? nicely i mean. like that you like him as a friend however he chooses to express himself and that you would support him either way. but that you don't see him in a romantic way and that that will not change in the future. but i would only mention that if he expresses the desire to be together with you because otherwise it may be a little harsh? idk.
>I wish I could give him a makeover or something.
that's certainly something you can do if he wishes to do it.
i didn't get this impression but i want to mention it nevertheless: please don't drop him as a friend because you didn't know what to get into and just thought of it as a fun thing to do. if he is trans and is in repression that may mean that he is holding back a lot of emotions like self hate and loathing that you may have to deal with. not trying to scare you. i know you're trans too but i don't know if you may have dealt with it easily and accepted yourself right away. that may be different for him.
>>5825954
i see, in terms of technique is much more elaborate than mine (lather, with the grain, lather, against the grain, exfoliate, moisturize).
i mostly get irritation on the middle of the neck and corners of the mouth, but only 3-4 days of using the same razor. i think id need some pretty sharp ones.
also any tips on hiding a very obvious shadow?
>>5825986
>well, i don't really see a connection here but idk.
I recognise some of him in myself from when I was in my mid-teens and made my first real friends. How easily I got a crush on them. He did say it, that maybe I would want to date him if he were a girl. I feel like he's setting himself up for rejection to prove a point to himself. And I don't want to play into that hand. I know that sounds abstract and weirdly complex, but I've done it myself.
Thinking about it, he may be going through some delayed teenage shit emotionally. Like in general.
>please don't drop him as a friend
Honestly, I'm a noncommittal piece of shit when it comes to friends, but this guy is solid. A lot of people are put off by how autistic he can be (I'm not just calling him a sperg because we're on 4chan), but it almost makes me angry how badly they're missing out because they can't handle ten seconds of awkwardness. He's scary smart and low-key hilarious (if only people knew). Took me ages to understand he's always deadpanning on purpose. So yeah no I won't drop him. I don't quite know how to handle it, but this is a friend I want to keep for life.
>>5826008
I missed one "rinse" between two shaves, but yeah. It's elaborate. You might not need every rinse or the alum for example. I recommend trying across the grain on the sensitive areas - but first and foremost I recommend stepping up your razor and razor blades.
>any tips on hiding a very obvious shadow?
Yeah, just give it here.
>>5826070
sadly even across can make it irritated, so i think i really need a better razor, how much are the blades for the one you have?
>Yeah, just give it here.
im not following? even where i get a perfect shave the roots still shine through the skin making it kinda blueish
>>5822387
I upped it after the first month to 4mg.
>>5825397
shipping from alldaychemist usually takes 2-3 weeks in my experience. Fellow self-medder here in USA
>>5825397
Took like 3 weeks the first time I ordered from IHP. The two times after than came within a week - week in half.
>>5826099
>im not following?
I'm just joking. Give your facial hair to me. You can have my tits. Let's meet in the park tomorrow and just get it done.
Okay, but really: I don't know anything about hiding a shadow.
As for what my blades cost, about $0.6 per blade. But I'm not American and everything is a little more expensive here.
>>5826164
if only it worked like that
fellow nonamerican, still magnitudes cheaper
>>5826174
If only. Cheers though, sister.
>>5826183
cheers to you too, thanks for the comprehensive guide and advice!
Should I start eating more yet? I'm worried I'm going to stunt my breast growth development. I'm 5'10" and I weigh about 59kg I think. I eat something in the range of 800-1000 calories a day.
>>5826692
YOU GOTTA EAT BIG TO GET BIG
4 SCOOPS SON C'MON
http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/
MTF here, have had gender issues for nine years now.
I've been out to my friends for years but not my parents. I'm still wearing guy clothes in public and I'm getting a bit depressed.
What would be the best way of coming out to my family? They're understanding people, but I'm the only biological male in my generation and I don't want to be a disgrace.
How do I avoid the conetits? Is it about not rushing estrogen doses like I've read, or just genetics?
>>5827597
Your tanner stage development is just genetic. You can trigger a shift in tanner stage development after two or three years by switching anti androgens and dumping a large amount of E into your body - it simulates the actual developmental stage in real girls.
>>5827597
Both. Mostly the former. Also if you're super worried consider asking your dealer if adding a progesterone to your stack is right for you.
>>5827676
So if, after 2-3 years of development, I have cone-like breasts, I should switch my AAs and up estrogen dosage? Is there a specific AA I would want to be switching to?
>>5827792
Generally speaking switching to Cypro from Spiro or vice versa is fine. But you want to dial your estrogen up to something in the area of 2-4x your regular dose.
>>5827939
That's exactly the information I was hoping for. Thanks, anon.
How do I tell my endo that I've given up on transition? I've been pushing back my appointment for the last few months. The last time I saw him, I found out my levels were very low, which I suspected but my old doctor wouldn't test, and played it off as normal. So I pretty much wasted my last good years of possible bone structure changes on ineffective treatment. My new doctor increased my dose, but that test result killed the hope I had for transition and I haven't cared since. I look nothing like a girl, and am generally dead inside. I feel like an angry middle schooler again, cynical af and ready to bite someones head off for the slightest thing.
I even did a consult with Dr. Spiegel at a trans conference, and I swear he flinched when he called me into the consult room. It was one of those noticeable cringe, feel sorry for, feel generally shocked at something so ugly moments that people can't really hide, even with a quick recovery and trying to act normal. I mean, fuck, even an FFS doctor thinks it's that bad, though he never outright said as much.
I used to think that I'd just keep taking hormones, and live as a male, but lately I'm disgusted with all of it, but so far I'm too chickenshit to quit and cut my hair. Does anyone know of a good conversion therapy doctor who will prescribe me tranquilizers as an alternative?
Has anyone seen any graphs of serum estradiol levels after an IM injection? I looked through the sticky a bit but it's a lot of info to sort through, and google can't seem figure out my inquiries.
At what point is it time to get bra? I have little tot tier boobs and you can see through shirt and its awks but obviously a bra is a little much for such a thing. Help
>>5825164
And did you space it out over 12 hours or take the whole 50mg at once?
>>5828424
Get a bralette.
Has anyone else's sexual preference changed while on hrt. before I started I thought I liked girls but now I can only see myself with a guy and I feel somewhat attracted to them. I have also started really enjoying yaoi whereas prior I had no interest.
Hey, I have a lot of questions.
I'm 18 MtF, pre-hormones. I want to lose a bit of weight to help with passing, I'm already pretty good, but I feel like I could do better. So I started dieting and exercising last week. I started at 150 pounds and 5'11." My diet is mostly cutting out meats and adding some fruits and veggies. I exercise with a structured 20-30 minute jog every day, on top of a lot of walking and manual labor as part of my normal routine. I lost 5 pounds in the one week so far, and I want to hit a target weight of 130 pounds. Already my parents are noticing and joking-not joking about me being anorexic. I find I am actually less hungry over time as the diet goes on, I think it is because I am eating more wholesome food and my stomach is shrinking. So my questions are as follows:
>I am losing weight at a healthy rate?
>Is my target rate healthy?
>If these aren't healthy, what would be healthy?
>What should my diet be?
>What should my exercise routine be?
>What do I do to get my parents off my back?
>>5827362
I will always stand by this being the best way to come out as trans from own and friends experience.
>Begin discussing LGBT issues, in particular trans issues
>Make sure everyone has some idea of what trans is
>After a few weeks make sure you have a backup plan, no matter how accepting your family is you may need to bunk somewhere for some time
>Make an excuse to leave the house with some friends
>Leave a note for the family to find explaining that you're trans, and will be back shortly
>Return with (a) friend(s) to confront family
If you aren't living with your parents then you can just adapt this plan to your own needs.
>>5828830
it's normal
How do you get rid of hair around your bum? if you are on hrt will it cause it to not grow and the ones already there to fall out with time?
>>5829247
They wont fall out but once you shave they'll grow back in slower and lighter, providing you've been on HRT for some months.
>>5828441
all at once, the halflife is quite long so no need to space out dosages like with spiro
I started seeing psychologist for the first time recently. He thinks that homosexuality and transsexuality are caused by developmental processes during ones childhood and youth.
I don't now how to feel about this.
>>5829432
It means either he wants to make you a straight cis male with heavy doses of anti-psychotic meds or he's being honest with you and thinks this is all nurture-based and some weird fucked up internalized shit.
>>5829438
Oh, I forgot where I was.
Straight and cis at least. Maybe not male if you have an F on your ID.
>>5829432
Red flag. You may want to cut your losses and look for another.
How fucked am I with chest hair? With bum hair?
Puberty wasn't very nice to me at all.
>>5829627
It depends on how much hair we're talking and how far past puberty. If you look like a bear and you're 30, you might be kinda fucked.
I had pretty substantial stomach hair, butt hair, and leg hair, and a little chest hair. The stomach, butt, and chest hair went away entirely, the leg hair thinned out to normal female levels (before my legs were the hairiest around). But I also started HRT right after I turned 20.
>>5829639
I wouldn't say bear but "substantial" is a reasonable word.
I'm 25.
I'm probably fucked.
Still going to try but just adding it to the list of problems.
>>5829657
I've had two endos since starting HRT and both told me I wouldn't see much change in body hair, but it all disappeared. Unfortunately it's one of those things where YMMV depending on genetics and stuff. I have an Asian ancestor a couple generations back and I think my body was just waiting for the push in the right direction.
Using things like epilators and waxing can definitely help (hurting the hair follicle, which estrogen will discourage from regrowing as thickly), and you might want to look into one of those at-home laser kits.
>>5829682
Yeah, bought an epilator. It's in the mail.
If I don't come out by then I guess I'll just tell anyone who asks it's a hair trimmer.
>>5829639
Do you recall how long you were HRT on before reduced/thinned hair was noticeable in those places?
Currently fighting long war against legs/butt, haven't been on meds all that long.
>>5829714
The most noticeable effects were 1y forward, especially around the 1.5y mark. I think around 4 years in is where it stopped... not that there was much more for it to do at that point.
>>5829718
Well... is that what you want?
Because honestly, I think it's hard to find one who isn't biased one way or another. It probably also depends how long you were dealing with these feelings. If you're 19 and started questioning things last year they will treat you differently than if you were going crazy for the last 10 years.
>>5829718
Current mainstream medical thought is that gender dysphoria is a real condition and the only known treatment for it is transitioning. If your doctor thinks it's caused by development in one's youth and can be fixed in other ways, he is going against current medical thought. This is roughly equivalent to going to a doctor who tells you vaccines are evil and that they'll give your kids autism.
You're not just cherry picking a psychologist who will tell you you're trans, you're looking for a psychologist who does things by the book and will interpret your cased based on current psychological literature. It is perfectly OK to look for a doctor who doesn't deny modern medicine.
I still don't know if I'm really trans or not. Part of me feels like I'm just trying to escape the pressures of being a man.
Is there any way to really know for sure? I just want to know, I'm so sick of being confused.
>>5830124
You just have to analyse yourself until you get to the point you've made a decision. Talking to a therapist can help you with the analysis, but even in therapy you'll have to think and decide for yourself eventually.
Body dysphoria is the #1 criteria. Do things like facial hair, body hair, the male shape of your body, your penis bother you? Does the idea of growing more and more manly feel you with dread?
Completely ignoring gender, imagine yourself 5-10 years from now. What do you want to be? Do? Who do you want to be? Bf? Gf? Now imagine yourself as a man in that situation. Could you be happy, or do you think you'd still want to be a girl?
That last one is what did it for me. I imagined myself 10 years from then, and realised even if I had everything I ever wanted out of life (job, gf/bf, etc.), I'd STILL want to be a girl.
>>5830141
I definitely have body dysphoria, but I don't know how much of it is just my anxiety looking for something to be anxious about. Body hair definitely bothers me. My penis has always felt weird, like it wasn't the part I was supposed to have.
But then again, I did have a pretty traumatic past. I was bullied by a lot of people, including my own group of "friends" (which I eventually removed from my life, thank god). I used to be a total misogynist and /r9k/ was my bible. I thought if I didn't act like a "Chad" all the time then women wouldn't want me and my male friends would look down upon me. Like I grew up with some pretty fucked up feelings about what it is to be a man. I resented everything about being a man and figured that being born female is like "easy mode".
picrelated is stuff I totally believed when I was in high school.
>>5830170
A normal guy anxious about his appearance will think, 'wow I need a beard I have a feminine face' or 'I should work out I hate my skinny body'... not 'wow I hate these masculine features I wish I were a girl'.
And that's the primary criterion for being trans, as used in DSM-V:
>A. A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender, of at least 6 months duration, as manifested by 2* or more of the following indicators: [2, 3, 4]
>1. a marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics (or, in young adolescents, the anticipated secondary sex characteristics) [13, 16]
>2. a strong desire to be rid of one’s primary and/or secondary sex characteristics because of a marked incongruence with one’s experienced/expressed gender (or, in young adolescents, a desire to prevent the development of the anticipated secondary sex characteristics) [17]
>3. a strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender
>4. a strong desire to be of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender)
>5. a strong desire to be treated as the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender)
>6. a strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender)
It's possible to have concomitant anxieties and problems; could it be that because your brain is female, but you were raised male and have always been treated that way, that you've developed a sort of jealousy for women, manifesting itself in misogyny? Maybe on some level you used to think women had it easier, but what drove that thought?
Also it's not uncommon for people with GID to have problems like this (misogyny, hyper-masculine phases, etc.)
>>5830217
Oh and I should say that doubts are normal. My therapist wanted me to be '100%' sure before she would recommend me for HRT. I was never 100% sure, though... there's always going to be a doubt; a niggling, 'what if?'. If you don't have doubts, you're being irrational and not actually thinking. So... if you're looking for a 100%, a way of knowing for sure, there isn't one. You can reduce your doubts by self-analysis, reading, therapy, etc., but 100% certainty isn't possible until we figure out what causes gender identity disorder and develop some sort of test.
You kind of eventually just have to accept 99% and go for it.
Plus the first like 3 months transitioning are easy to reverse.
>>5830266
>Plus the first like 3 months transitioning are easy to reverse.
Not him but I imagine you're talking about the beginning of gyno/boobs? And the fertility issues.
I've heard people on here claiming they lost a lot of progress after just being off meds for a month even after a year on.
>>5830280
Yeah I think most changes that happen within 3 months are easily reversible, but past that you start risking fertility and permanent boobs.
Idk what it's like to go off meds. My endo said it takes up to 6 weeks for your body's hormones to start returning to normal. I guess it depends on how well your own testes recover and kick back into full testosterone production mode. If your testes return to normal quickly, a month off would be like a month on testosterone for an FTM I guess? I don't really know how much progress you'd lose after a long time on HRT.
>>5830876
If it's public you can simply ask to see someone else, no questions asked. Where I live anyway. But as you know Scandinavia is not one country.
Hi /lgbt/ lately ive been trying to come to terms that I feel more like a woman
The thing is im 6'7
And with this weird ideal image of a woman I cant even bring myself to actually take it seriously knowing that if I did go through with anything Id be some kind of gross amazoness
Can anyone give me any advice?
>>5825618
i pluck my beard hair. if you've got greek beard genetics maybe that won't work for you
help
i'm seriously gonna do it (HRT)
but i wanna know what to expect,
any fatties on here who can show before and after pics of tits?
i'm a fatty and my man-boobs are fairly large,
is this a bonus? jump start?
on the other hand, what would happen should i start losing weight while growing hormone boobies?
>>5826169
first order took 12 days to central us. second order unknown yet
anyone know about times for qhi?
>>5830217
Thanks, yeah I definitely remember feeling more like a girl when I was a kid compared to when I was in highschool.
>>5831069
bump for interest
Hello /lgbt/. I've come to you for advice. I am a 24 year old bisexual male; I have a loving boyfriend and a lot of friends who accept me for what I am. However, recently I have started wondering if I might also have gender dysphoria.
I've always felt sorta jealous of girls, and I'm a little more on the feminine side I guess when it comes to how I act. My hobbies are mostly unisex; video and traditional gaming, I've never really been big into (doing) sports though I like watching them. Thing is, throughout my life, I mostly played female characters in those games, given the choice; for vidya, when asked, I always the used the excuse (before I came out as bi) that if I was going to stare at the same ass for however many hours, it'd better be an ass I'd like staring at.
This means less since I've become open about my sexuality, of course; mostly it just feels more comfortable to me at this point. The big thing, and the reason I've started wondering about all this, is that I recently joined a new online RPG, and decided, as a lark, to present as female to that group, just to see if I could fool them. I did not expect it, but doing so has caused a lot of... I guess warm fuzzy feelings is the way to put it; it feels so very comfortable and nice to be treated like a woman there, that I started maybe wondering; doing some research and things. I talked to my BF about it, and he suggested maybe if he treated me like a girl in private, see how I felt about someone who knew me doing it. The feelings persisted.
(God this is long; gonna have a second post, apologies.)
The biggest hurdles I have in this, though, are kinda threefold. The first is that I am a pervert, and tg is one of my biggest fetishes, and I don't want to think this is just because of a fetish thing. The second is that I don't hate my dick. I mean, it's a nice dick; I don't mind having it, it doesn't fill me with rage, disgust, and horror thinking about how I Have it. And the third is that I'm worried these feelings might just be my self-loathing latching onto something as a 'miracle cure'; I am diagnosed with depression and while it's under treatment, all the bad feelings don't just go away, you know?
So, ah, yeah, I'm just sorta... wondering. I've read a lot of the op so far, and I'm just... I feel sorta lost and confused, and I'd like some advice.
>>5831069
http://www.officialericcrooks.com/ericas-hrt--hormone-replacement-therapy--progress-official-blog/category/photo-timeline
Here, found the timelines of a couple of fatties for you.
>>5831585
Well being okay with your penis is very common, lots of transgender girls opt not to do bottom surgery. The other two things you mentioned are feelings some legimate transgirls have, but there are some who feel like that who aren't trans. Hopefully someone else can give you better advice on that. Might want to consider speaking with a professional(therapist) too.
>>5831737
That actualy went really well. She passes quite well tbqh
>>5831854
I should probably talk to a therapist, I suppose. I'm seeing one now, but I don't want to talk to him about this; he's a baptist minister and he doesn't even know I'm bi, because I know when to pick my battles. My biggest hurdle was the dick thing; but if it's common-ish that transgirls don't always kick the dick, then, well, there goes that. I'll figure out about the other two, I suppose. Thanks for the reply; any other help or advice is appreciated!
>>5831027
Body Shortening Surgery (BSS). They'll chop your legs off at the knees, cut them off below your hips, and attach your knees to your hips.
In all seriousness, though, I'm in the same boat as you. I'm around 6'6" - 6'7", and there are definitely a lot of people (especially on here, it seems) who are adamant that anyone over around 5'11" is doomed. Honestly, I think the best thing to do is to just not let it get to you. Tall women do exist, and if you present as female effectively, people will probably just see you as a tall woman rather than immediately clocking you based on your height.
Also, assuming your height isn't all in your torso, just think of how great your legs will look! ;)
Though high heels are probably not an option. Just saying. :<
Dutasteride vs Estradiol???
i'll be taking spiro 100
dr gave me choice of duta or estra, gave me literature on both, read it all. but i'm hoping someone with experience can help me lean one way or the other
So what exactly is the benefit of progesterone? Bought some the other day read that it does the opposite of feminization. Internet is full of it as usual.
>>5832267
is my dr trying to fuck me over?
oh let me at that mother fucker!
...
sorry, what is duta used for in MTF HRT then, please?
What is the best type of dress to wear to prom? I want to be wearing all black.
>>5832280
Duta is a DHT agonist. It's for hair loss prevention, because Spiro doesn't inhibit DHT.
>>5832306
thanks
estradiol it is then...
but why would he make me choose? unless 2 scripts is less dangerous than 3 wish he'd been more clear
>>5832325
Honestly, you should be on 100mg-200mg of Spiro daily, 4mg-8mg of Estradiol and .5mg of Duta per day.
>>5832378
Damn I never knew.
>>5815933
Leviticus 18:22 - Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it [is] abomination.
>>5832378
good thing i only fuck myself with dildos
>>5815933
>>5832322
THE POWER OF CHRISTIANS COMPELS YOU!
>>5832306
>because Spiro doesn't inhibit DHT
I was under the impression that since Spiro is blocking your test, there's nothing to convert to DHT in the first place, making DHT inhibitors unnecessary.
Am I still trans if i don't want to get bottom surgery?
Having /that/ is bothersome but i couldn't imagine mutilation like that.
>>5832500
All transgender people have different levels of dysphoria, you're 'normal'
>>5832443
Incorrect. Because the testes aren't the only producer of Testosterone -- it's why some transgirls still need an anti androgen after an orchi or SRS, in low doses. And that's fine, your body needs SOME testosterone, because it's a mood stabilizer. But Finasteride and Dutasteride inhibit the conversion of Free T into DHT in the prostate.
>>5815933
The POWER OF CHRIST compels you filthy degenerates
>>5832736
but someone without dysphoria isn't trans, right?
How much dysphoria qualifies someone as 'trans'?
Will a gyno vest interfer with breast growth at all? I just want to hide my tits and continue boymode for a while longer. My current tight shirt and hoodie strategy isnt cutting it anymore.
>>5833219
ace bandage/sports bra?
Should I even be on Progesterone at 2 days to 2 months into my transition? My doctor gave it to me right away 100 MG a day but everyone I mention it to freaks out on me about it.
>Should I be taking it every single day like my doctor has instructed?
>Is it even doing anything for me right now while I'm this early? (This is going on the assumption it does anything besides mess with my emotions at all. I'm asking this to the camp that claims it does help.)
>Is my dosage wrong?
>Can I just stop taking it one day for about a week to see how my mood changes off of progesterone? Or does it need to be lowered gradually?
Thank you
>>5833089
Enough dysphoria to desire to go full-time girl/boy.
Transvestites may have some levels of dysphoria, but enjoy the freedom of being able to wipe the makeup off and live as a man with no trace.
I've been having trouble finding comprehensive tucking/gaffing info. Anyone want to help a poor femanon?
>>5833902
Don't tuck. Nobody can tell but you.
>>5833325
considering that progesterone is usually cycled (10 days or so a month) and taken after a year hrt, call your doctor or get a second opinion. It might inhibit breast growth when taken so early.
>>5833233
>>5833219
Do not bind your breasts with ace bandages. Wear a sports bra, then two sports bras, and if that doesn't cut it then wear a binder/gyno vest. Never ace bandages, they will hurt your breast tissue, your ribs and your lungs.
At length, binders aren't good for you either. I don't recommend wearing one every day, but it could be great to have one in a boymode pinch.
>>5831737>>5831737
>http://www.officialericcrooks.com/ericas-hrt--hormone-replacement-therapy--progress-official-blog/category/photo-timeline
>Alright, is there Shrinkage of the You-Know-What ? : Yes, except when in sex mode then it's regular size. That's as graphic as I'm going to get. Alright, one more.
Wait.....
wait a minute....
Is this true? Because if so, this changes everything....
>>5834815
Mine has also had shrinkage during sex mode.
I had to stop self medding on Spiro because it was causing my heart to hurt a little and beat funny.
Is there anything else safer, or should I just take nothing and wait the 1-2 years until the doctor will proscribe me HRT legitimately??
Should I long distance run to slim down my muscular calves?
>>5836992
There's Dutasteride and Cyproterone which are also anti-androgens.
>>5837030
It might work. It's a common suggestion for muscle loss.
>>5836992
Bicalutamide is an uncommon alternative in the US. It's not a potassium-sparring diuretic. Instead it's main use is to treat prostate cancer. It pulls the anti-androgen receptors in from the cell walls and prevents the T from having an effect on our cells. You still keep your sex hormones so you won't have bone mineral deficicnies or have your heart explode from the weird potassium and dieritic thing.
Do a lot of research but it's not really less safe than dyi spiro.
Alternatively, you might be overdosing, taking too much too soon, eating too much potassium (potatoes?) or be very dehydrated.
I'm out and ready for hormones (mtf)
I don't want to jump through hoops with any arbitrary therapy requirements, I just want HRT already.
How hard would it be to convince a therapist to write a referral for me in a session or two? Does anyone know any therapists that actively do so in the upstate New York Area? I really do not trust self-medicating and would like to obtain the hrt as legit as possible but I cannot bare to wait any longer than I already have.
I'm a boy but I've always felt like a girl. Although if someone where to ask me how it feels like to be a girl I would have a really hard time putting it into words. If I describe it with the way I wish to look and act and be percieved by my surroundings I would be describing the expression of the feeling and not the feeling itself. If I describe the dislike of my body and how I wish it where I would again just end up descibing the expression of the feeling I guess. How do you put something so fundamental and basic into words?
It's like I just end up saying "because that's just how I've always felt" and that's not much of an argument.
>>5837313
It's going to be a couple months before you get a prescription. Start self-medicating in the meantime. You can go on anti-androgens for the first month.
>>5837351
What exactly would happen if I went on AA for more than a month?
Though, I don't even know where I'd be able to even acquire any of these medications in the first place
>>5837458
Up to three months is OK. you will want to do the treatments they do for osteoporosis if you go longer.
>>5837328
I'm not good at putting words to complex feelings either, but for what it's worth you sound trans.
No-one has ever been able to pin down what it really means to "be a girl" though. It /is/ essentially a feeling. Trying to pin down the etiology of your transness is a little like digging to the centre of the globe to prove it exists.
>>5837458
At worst, you may become infertile, although it's unlikely to happen in the first month. You may also develop osteoporosis. These are unlikely, but the risk is there.
I'm not asking help for myself, but for my friend. To me she's really cute, but she's having none of it and think she's ugly. It's true she has some 'defaults' about her face, but it's all manageable. Yet she does not seem to believe me. I know it will be for her to get over, but I'd like to help. Wat do?
P.s. I'm not posting pics of her
>>5837812
Is your friend a tranny or something? Hugboxing won't help, and she probably already knows that.
>>5837840
Yeah, she's trans, and no I'm not hugboxing her. It might seem like so because we're close, but i try to be as honest as possible
>>5837853
I don't think it's fixable. Some people are just permanently broken desu.
>>5837882
Shit... I really love her, and I want her to at least try to love herself
