This seems to be an issue many of us face.
>How do you come out to family?
Recently a friend of mine came out to her family and it was a disaster, after meeting up with her I could immediately tell why. This is a breakdown of what I told her.
>buy some sensible clothes that women would actually wear to a job interview/a nice date with someone you aren't trying to fuck on the first 10 dates (so no cocktail dresses/anime clothes/whatever else bullshit that makes you steamy)
>you aren't trying to fuck your parents (hopefully) so don't dress like you want some dick when you come out to them, this only serves to sexualize yourself and make your family believe you are just doing this for attention/to fulfill a fetish. If you are that's fine but you have to remember they are from a different time and to them your identity is a fetish so you need to convince them otherwise or atleast show them you aren't trying to contract STDs for sport.
>easy on the makeup. Even if you don't pass, having a sensible amount of makeup will illicit a much better reaction than looking like a $10 whore and half of your perceived value as a sex worker is from the makeup on your face you got from the drugstore.
>>5772639
>Unless your voice is on point, just talk how you normally would. Even being mtf myself, when I hear obv tranny voice I literally want to puke. It makes me sad and upset because I worked really hard to not be shit and promote a positive image for my community and you will not destroy my hard work by frogging it up with your faux falsetto bullshit.
https://youtu.be/YEqVgtLQ7qM < vocal fry is your enemy, most of the time. If used right it can work wonders but most just slather on the vocal fry and it sounds ridiculous.
Make sure you don't mention that they are responsible for this, even if they are. Doing so undermines the 'born this way' point and just validates their thinking that it is nothing more than mental illness/fetish/attention seeking
Last points, should be obvious but apparently not;
>shave, nobody likes a 5:00 shadow in a wig (by the way, no wigs, just wait until your hair is at least long enough to work with to come out.)
>be clean, nobody likes a smelly girl and will undermine your premise of femininity if you haven't showered in a week.
>try not to smell like product, because hairspray/concealer/loud ass perfume burns my/everyone else's nose.
>be natural, only cry if you have to, don't put on fake tears because your parents know you are faking it and this will not help you.
>don't threaten suicide/abandonment/violence.
>If they don't accept be cool about it, even if they aren't. Getting mad tells them they caught you in a lie and only validates their beliefs that you need help.
btw, dont take this as a 'tranny-er than thou' list because it isnt. My friend just had a really hard time and I wish she wouldve asked me first so I could tell her this stuff. I wish someone would have told me x3
>>5772639
i came out in clean, shaven boymode and got a negative reaction.
i think it's important that no matter how much you prepare to try and elicit a positive response, you can't have a coming out advice thread without stressing the importance of having a back-up plan if they wanna kick you out.
i am extremely lucky that i just so happen to have enough money in my account to tide me over till i find a job, and no shortage of people who are willing to help me move out, put me up in their place and supply storage space for some of my stuff.
i am lucky that i live in a relatively safe, relatively middle-class area.
i honestly didn't expect to get such a negative reaction so if i didn't expect it from my non-religious, highly educated and seemingly progressive mum, you really cannot take it for granted that your parents will be positive either.
i can't stress it enough.
have a back-up plan. have as many back-up plans as you can.
This should have LGB stuff added and get stickied.
It's THAT important.
>>5773436
I-I can has head pats anon-senpai?
>>5773728
*pats head*
Sure thing, anon-sama.
>>5772710
I'm sorry you got such a negative reaction, Dys3rd. That must have sucked, especially if you weren't expecting it.
It sounds like you have a really good support network of friends though! I'm glad you have that, that can really help when going through rough times...
I haven't come out to my parents yet, but based on previous experiences I don't really expect anything good to come out of it. My father left the family and we speak once or twice a year at the most, and my mother was already threatening to kick me out of the house when I said I wanted to drop out of highschool. I don't want to play the blame game, but it is largely thanks to my childhood environment I've been unable to face being trans until now. It seems to me like the only place I have in their lives is to fulfill some ego thing about being a (good) parent. When I come out, it will be me giving them a chance to be a part of my future, and then it's up to them if they want to take it.
I should note that I've lived on my own for a couple of years, so I'm not dependent on them in any way. I'm more worried if my coming out will chase away the few close friends I have, because my dysphoria has made me pick isolation over social contact for large parts of my life. Being used to being alone doesn't make it any more fun though.
>>5775527
When you eventually do decide to include them, make sure to follow this guide though okay? Im really sorry for your experience. I had a similar situation so I totally get it. I wasnt able to even accept my trans feels until I was 23, then I suppressed it until a few months ago. I am about to turn 25 and things are going well.
>>5777669
I'm 24 now and basically only just accepted than I'm trans and that I have a choice between doing something about it or end up killing myself. I've managed to live as a seemingly happy, overly masculine male until now, because I buried my trans feelings under as much denial as I possibly could ever since I was like 6-7 years old. I haven't come out to anyone yet, and I'm scared as fuck about how it's going to be. And I just regret so much that I wasn't able to realize this a long time ago.
>>5777711
it really is tough ,but it doesn't mean your life is over. Just live as a girl, the aesthetics aren't super important. Just be a fem guy. If anyone asks tell them to fuck off because it isn't their concern.
>coming out to your family
>ever
Just save up cash for a more comfy closet.
>>5777752
I'm going to start taking hormones asap, and then see where to go from there. I really want to end up living as a woman though.
>>5777807
it's about minimizing the hostile reaction
welcome to the world, friend
this coming out thing never really made sense to me
Idk I guess if you're trans it's a good idea but on the gay / bi thing why does it matter
I don't intend to ever let my family know whether I'm dating a guy or a girl because it's my private life and none of their business
I know they'd be okay with it too, I just don't see why they should know
>>5777938
i'm not the person who made the original statement, so you're patently false, but if you look the part better you will be more convincing, otherwise you look like you don't take it seriously.
>>5777951
hit a nerve? i don't like christians, i do like transsexuals, generally. so i'm going to help transsexuals and if it involves pandering to christians i'm not going to stop?
>>5777947
Really my point was being mtf is fine, but when coming out to people who say they care about you don't look like a cheap slut.
>>5777988
>hit a never
?
i'm not christian sorry lass
>>5777987
And my point was that if someone discriminates against you, they're doing it because they're shit. Nobody has ever had a legitimate reason to discriminate. When someone has a legitimate reason, it's not discrimination, it's punishment. That means you did something wrong. Being ugly is not evil. Being bad at fashion is not evil. And people don't say you're going to hell, or disown you, because you shop at Wal-Mart, it's never happened in the history of forever, and never will. You're dank-a-meme isn't believable dog shit. That's my point.
>>5778007
if i'm a christian, you're a rude, dirty heathen
>>5777998
I'm just saying it doesn't help to look like a sex worker. And being a girl is expensive. I spend $200+ A month on products like soaps, conditioners, lotion, mones, clothes, razors, food that won't make me feel like shit about myself, hair product etc.
I'm not saying you can't transition if you can only afford to shop at Walmart I'm just saying it won't be easy. I'm not excusing any bad reactions by anyone, they are all horrible people for all of those things they have done against you/ anyone else. But maybe an ounce of introspection is healthy and asking yourself if they rejected you because you are mtf or because you look like you belong in a low budget mid-80s porn shoot? Think about it.
>>5772639
I came out to my sisters first since I thought they'd be more accepting, one is gay and one says she's bi, though the bi one can be a bit less generally supportive and I'm not as close with the gay one since she was out of the house before I was really aware of stuff.
I came out to my mom next and she later told my dad because she thought it'd be better that way. She wasn't the most supportive at first but not out of bigotry but concern, she thought I should go to college and get a career first before considering transition like the trans people she was more familiar with. She turned around to stuff though after a combination of explaining my feelings on the subject and me pretty much cutting contact for awhile.
>>5777807
>Christians
You're the only one who mentioned them.
How do you know OP's religion? They might be Jewish, Muslim or something else. You sound like one of those bigots you rag on yourself.
>>5777938
>>5777951
>>5777988
>>5778007
>Attacking a strawman this hard.
>>5778792
well I am a tranny and I don't have a particular leaning. I was really just trying to help, if it makes you butthurt that's fine but it is still good avice.
>>5779279
im not them im OP
>>5779692
Well thats OK then. I thought you were this idiot:
>>5777807
>>5777938
>>5777951
>>5777988
>>5778007
This board needs user IDs to stop this kind of confusion. Sorry about that.
>>5779756
If only trip codes weren't so frowned upon >.>
>>5777951
>>5777988
>>5778007
>>5779782
>Being this much of a bitch.
>>5779800
But you _do_ hate all people of a religion because of some weird minority in your country.
I don't see you calling Jews pedophiles, despite that statistically, a rabbi is more likely to be a child molester than a priest is.
>>5779806
If the shoe fits anon. You started whining about the don Quixote pic.
>>5779828
Nor are muslims free from criticism for killing gays and lesbians, "marrying" children as young as 9, killing transgender people and murdering,etc.
Or how the Jewish Tanakh says to do the same.
But then again, you're exclusively ranting about Christians, so I guess you're a racist yourself. Which is weird considering it is only in nations with a Christian history that you are allowed to be gay, lesbian or trans...
>>5779866
>I've tried to stab Christians like yourself.
Im not surprised. You sound like a very unstable and mentally-ill individual.
I hope you get therapy to help you with your anger issues and psychosis.
>>5779888
Nope. Freedom of speech applies to the people you hate as well as the ones you agree with.
I sincerely hope you don't act like this in your everyday life. Id hate to turn on my TV and see you get tazed for trying to do something drastic.
Why all the hate anyway? What happened to you?
>>5779905
Seriously, what happened to you to make you so vitriolic?
Were you beaten as a child by your parents or something?
>>5779905
>>5779919
both of you shut the fuck up and help us come out to our parents you are derailing this so hard.
>>5779935
And I don't see how I should treat christians differently to atheists or indeed, any other person except based on what they do as an individual.
If you want to be an edgy teenager, you shouldn't even be on 4chan, since it's an 18+ website.
>>5779926
>help us come out to our parents
Here you go, problem solved.
>>5779926
Ikr? I'll just repost and hope it won't get derailed
>>5779955
>You're a child rapist
Wrong anon. But thanks for the specious accusation. I'm sure if there is a god, you will eventually be forgiven.
>>5779966
But you're a liar yourself, otherwise why so much projection?
>>5779984
>says the real child molester
Im disappointed in you anon.
>>5780011
Are you trying to be funny? Because it's not working.
Seriously though, what is your beef against "christians"? Ive found the majority more supportive than atheists even.
>>5780036
>ad hominems again
I'm beginning to think anti-christians are the real cancer.
>>5780048
>beginning
You've thought that since you were in diapers. Your mommy has taught you that since before you could understand words.
>>5780054
Again, personal attacks and projection.
It's a childish and tumblr-esque way to argue. yet it seems the only way you know how.
You've ignored every question, for example.
But do keep going. Seeing you sperg out is funny.
>>5779951
K nuke the thread now plz these two have problems.
>>5780069
Hear that anon? It's playing a christian tune just for you.
I hate all of you I am trying to be helpful and you ruined it with your dogma. Go to /pol/ if you need everyone to know you never shower so badly.
>>5780082
I apologise for my part, but Im not going to back down from that atheist cunt's bullshit.
>>5772639
that apg pic tho
