http://strawpoll.me/6821704
How many of you mtfs are considering it? I wanna know how high it really is amongst transwomen.
>>5727007
It's not very fun if you succeed :'(
>>5727007
Of fucking course.
You seriously think people will live through losing their whole childhood, and potentially their whole teenage and youth? To then be unwanted by cis people, and will only be wanted for temporary relationship?
Chances of getting married are really slim, and so are your chances of wanting to live past 30.
I think about it when im really misersble but im far away from wanting to do it. Even at my worst i looked over the 3 story drop and felt apathy and lack of desire to give up
>>5727007
>To be trans you must have dysphoria
>dysphoria = depression
>depression = contemplating suicide
>literally every transperson has or will contemplate suicide
>>5727021
I voted no but reading this makes me want to change my answer. Thanks for reminding me of all that.
>30 in a month and a half
>>5727052
>to be trans you must have dysphoria
Ugh i hate trans gatekeepers how's it feel to be a bigot excluding all trans people who don't transition and feel comfortable in their bodies?
How do I stop hating myself? Every time I think about what I look like or see myself in the mirror I am consumed with a feeling of absolute hopelessness and disgust. I look like a fucking freak, a total creep, just awful, and it makes me feel sick just thinking about how I must look to others. I can't even work towards making myself better, because nothing I do looks right on me- hair, clothes etc. Putting any effort into my appearance just makes it hurt all the more when I look in the mirror and realise it's made no difference whatsoever. I fucking hate who I am and I don't know how to escape it other than death.
I already tied a noose a week ago but I've been impeded by not knowing where to jump from as of yet. It's not easy to find some kind of accessible, elevated bar to tie it to with a big enough drop underneath.
>>5727112
why the fuck even transition if you felt ok in your cis body
why the fuck even call yourself trans if your not actually transitioning
>>5727007
ive attempted suicide 2 times. one before i came out, and the other very early in my transition. while i was still going about in boymode,
things have since worked out and im very content with my life and am not suicidal at all... but dysphoria is a bitch. Even though i pass and look pretty nice, it still creeps in time to time.
if i diddnt have my fiancé in my life, who has been the biggest support and the best friend i could ever ask for...i would probably kill myself. I have a future planned and am happy with my life now for the first time. if i lost my partner i think i would have nothing else to live for.
>>5727007
yeah but it's really not solely because of dysphoria (or fuck i don't even now if i have it what's it supposed to be?), it's just one more plum in the pie of shit that is my life
>>5727007
I am, but only in the unlikely even of turning out like a hon.
I have been depressed for years
I have think about suicide for the last 6 or 7 years, every single day, every day I wait for the metro train, every time I look from a window, every time I take my pills.
I see everything around me as an opportunity to end my life.
Im not even sure anymore why I have been keep going knowing that there is no chance that anything gets good by now.
>>5727726
Fuck off, wishing you hadn't spent the majority of your youth in a depressed stupor =/= wishing you could've sharpened some fucking skills.
I don't think trannys are exclusive to this, of course, but they have a reason to complain.
>>5727726
Not having had a youth is different from growing out of your youth.
Fucking retarded jealous faggot.
>>5727115
I was in a similar situation anon, I got out of it thanks to art, I started out by drawing the way I'd love to look like, a lot of practise kept my mind busy and myself happy, I eventually joined art school where I've met some amazing people that helped me along the way! I hope this experience helps you in some way, stay positive!
>>5727007
Yes. My first thoughts of suicide were at 8 years old, I think. And I have been having them almost the entire time since. I never self-harmed; the idea of permanently ruining your body in increments instead of all at once in case life improved to a livable point was retarded to me.
I only seriously started planning out my suicide the same day Leelah Alcorn committed suicide (by coincidence, and I didn't find out until the day after as I was browsing /lgbt/). I planned it for my birthday. I didn't do it in the end, because I was just not satisfied with my suicide and coming out letter.
>>5727007
how many mtf have we actual lost to suicide
>>5727948
It does! but if you haven't drawn before, learning anatomy does take a little while, the first months are a little rough, but it's nothing that some youtube videos can't fix. I took this route and believe me, I will never regret it, once you get good at it, it feels so relaxing to just let your imagination run wild on paper or digital. [spoiler] also fellow artists are very cool, kind and helpful most of the time [/spoiler]
>>5728014
I started with just drawing circles. Do you know any good books? /ic/ used to meme about Loomis a lot more frequently some months ago, but now the general feeling seems to be they don't think he's that great. This one seems good for after I've got the fundamentals. http://www.amazon.com/New-Artistic-Anatomy-Female-Morphology/dp/0994731302/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1455525519&sr=8-1&keywords=Female+morphology
>>5727007
Maybe if you asked me 5+ years ago. But now that I'm stealth life, post-op, have a loving spouse I never think of it at all since I don't have any dysphoria any more.
In my opinion, outside of saving yourself from a slow death, people who commit suicide are fucking weak human beings. It doesn't matter what minority you're part of. Anyone who goes against the primary motive of anything alive is totally, totally out of touch. mtf or not.
>>5728469
The primary motive of life is to pass on your genes. Failing that, why is it somehow not logical to kill yourself, according to your logic?
>>5728493
I've already passed on my Genes and have twin Daughters.
So my primary motive is fulfilled. Now is time for me.
i said no in the poll, but that's not entirely accurate.
i think about suicide quite a lot, but my crippling fear of death stops me.
i'm completely over putting up with all the bullshit required to exist in a society, but i don't want to not exist. i still have things i want to do.
i'm not scared of dying as such, i'm scared of finishing, ending. my body stops working, then my consciousness evaporates kind of thing. the uncertainty plays a big part of that fear also.
i'm incredibly jealous of people who actually believe in an afterlife. holy fuck.
I want to off myself like every fucking winter for last ~7 years, death really seems like a relief
and Im not even trans
>>5727948
stuff like that just makes me feel worse, that my life could have been so much better
>>5728550
this tbqh
>>5727007
Asking here is your problem. The girls I know who don't hate themselves don't compulsively check lgbt boards all day.
i only ever attempted suicide before transition, now what would be the point, it'd ruin my stable life, happiness and all the hard work and money i've poured into myself
>>5728572
Only during the winter? If so, you may have seasonal affective disorder.
>>5728852
Really? It makes me feel better. Like instead of being a prisoner to fate, it lets me keep in mind that I did have choices and I played a part in my own future. So if I could have seen then what I see now or just not shut myself off and away like I did, I would have been able to avoid the path I find myself on. Otherwise, I just sit there in agony wondering why I had to be born to the people I was, why I had to be trans, why I was born in this era, etc. I still look back on the past this way, but it's not some searing pain when I do.
>>5728991
No fucking way, that sounds like self-torture
I just keep telling myself I'll br 80 and dying naturally and peacefully before I know it and my life that has gone before will feel like a flash in the pan by comparison. I'll be free from the pain one day, we all will, we know that for certain.
>>5729212
That's how I used to console myself back when I was in denial. I particularly remember thinking that way in middle school.
However you cope with it, being in this position still sucks.
>>5728469
yeah, we fucking know. that's why we're gonna kill ourselves, retard.
>>5728550
this. i wish i really, truly wanted to die. i thought i did, then got in an accident a couple weeks ago. even though it fucked up my life even more (tfw poor and no transportation to get to school or work), the realization that after years of suicidal ideation i'm glad i survived made me feel disgusting.
>>5729212
holy fuck, take an award for most depressing thing I've read in the last week. I can't imagine literally wishing my whole life away just so I could die quicker. hope things get better for you anon, that's a truly awful place to be in xx
>>5728991
>seasonal affective disorder.
it just gets desperately shitty in the winter time
no sun here for weeks
Think of it everyday because I am not pretty or feminine looking enough. Only the prettiest mtfs get to have a normal life and date men who love them and lead a normal life maybe even having a family (a true one, not dumb transbian-straight female family).
I just want to feel attractive. I am not an ugly person, I do not have ugly genetics, I was a very attractive guy but it just didn't translate enough my face is too masc.
>>5729534
Just kill yourself already.
>>5729584
Did they force you on meds after these attempts?
>>5729644
Lead the way
Yeah, I think about it in the back of my mind a lot these days. I don't think I ever will but being trans sucks. MTF especially. I am lucky that I am somewhat cute, but the thing is I know I will never be a " real " girl I know that is transphobic horseshit but I have it soo deeply ingrained I can't shake it and it's killing me.
I might try and do a bunch of self hypnosis or videos and see if I can learn to accept myself better.
since i was 7, its only gotten worse over the years, so a clear 'yes' from me, i didnt plan on living past 30 and that was before i knew i was trans
>>5727112
>be cis man
>cis male privilege is getting too me
>tumblr friends tell me that we can't be friends anymore after they come out as demisexual trigender
>too much privilege difference
>all of our conversations become you mansplaining over the top of our oppressed voices
>come out as trans
>go on hrt
>finally content with life on hardmode
>???
>kill self
>>5727007
Yeah, massively. I *always knew I was going to die by my own hand, from age 5 or 6.
I ended up in A&E [ER] and emergency therapy because of it.
I've actually got a date to die, 10 days to go :)
If you were born in USA or Canada or one of the largest EU counties, no matter cis you or trans - you have so much less reasons to complain. Really, birth in one of this this countries grant you so much freedom and capabilities. It grants you high level of life quality. No matter how you look like, how pass are you - people will respect you or tolerate you at least. You even can have your own chasers, that can love you like a girl.
I live in Russia. I am cis male and you can call me a "chaser" if you want. And i had the MtF gf. And i loved her. But even with me, my love and support, even with her cutie look her life was a hell. Just because she was unlucky to born in Russia, where people are dumb, aggressive and narrow-minded, where people hate anyone who are`t straight, where even parents can hate and bully their own children simply because the are not normal. Our relationships was the happiest part of my life, but we were no able just to walk together in the street just because of fear of punishment and intolerance.
And guess what? She never ever tried suicide, never ever thought about it. All circumstances was against her but she was strong.
But yeah, you can still complain about your comfy life.
>>5730640
>tfw trans and not even somewhat cute
>>5729534
Save up and get FFS, I believe in you bby.
>>5731051
I like to see russian trans girls on chaturbate, they're all pretty.
>>5731143
They are rare ones. and they are all transbians and lives in poorness together isolated from outer world.
>>5727112
You're like those teens who love to call themselves bipolar just because it makes them sound unique and is a convenient excuse for your bullshit.
>honest conservation
>conservation
>conserve
>conserve and maintain suicides
>>5731169
That's too sad. What they need is a man in their lives. To quote my father, there's just something wrong with women living together without any men in their lives and pretending they're fine like that.
It's said a lack of Vitamin D can cause depression. And that depression is sure to be the reason for their seclusion. A social program designed to forcibly assign them to a compatible male would be sure to be our answer to this burgeoning social ill. The program could later be expanded to complete hikikomori and those women who live alone despite not being NEETs, depending on the success of the initial phase.
>>5727007
Have attempted, and considered many times. Still haven't gotten to transition. 27 years old.
>Tfw born in Brazil
>Highest homicide rate against transsexuals
>Everyone is a dumb uncivilized monkey who survives and feed by humiliating people all day
>specially LGBT people
College was hell all my life. I've always "forced" masculinity in myself and was pretty insecure. I knew something was wrong when i was envy of girls genitals without even knowing what was "sex", at age 8 or something, when i've crossdressed million times, wanted to be a girl in situations, etc.
Even at mascmode i've gone through hell during every. single. year. At the last year of college i've weared something more "unissex" and was growing my hair out. I was somewhat happy but at the same time already far mentally damaged by years of repression and humiliation.
Now there's the Uni. I'll go through it and see what happens. Take a time with my bike and learn to longboard. Learn to play a instrument is cool too. Maybe have sex with a male once. After that, i think i'm clear to go.
In 5 years or less i'll start the plans to finnally die, and that will be it. After that i'll need maybe 1 year to get ready. Then, i'm free.
Hell is bullshit, i don't believe in that, i believe in the "end". When you die you die.
>You're alive because you're lucky (or unlucky like me) to somehow evolve into the conscience you're today. Due to the society and it's rules, how you've been created and your virtues, it gets harder to leave this life early. But i'll do it someday. That's what i believe.
But anyway, if any of you are going to end your life, do some shit you always wanted. Set it as a final objective. Maybe you're unlucky again in the end, and get a reason to live. That will be nice after all, right?
>>5727007
I look somewhat okay for a tranny and got FFS soon but I've attempted suicide and I can't really see what I'm staying alive for. Passing and stuff isn't even an issue but growing up like this didn't equip me with what it takes to live a life.
>>5727007
I voted no, but I did for a long time. I got kicked out, homeless, and unable to keep affording hormones. Got my shit fucked because I was presenting as male and I was basically a twink Asian sleeping in parks and Wal-Mart parking lots. I got back on my feet, and got in school. I started passing pretty flawlessly because I'm a small Asian. I am always the top of the class, I'm in a sorority, and live life as a female, more or less now. The poll should really be,
>have you ever seriously considered suicide
I transitioned successfully so I'm ok with my life.
I have a morbid fascination with suicide
At random times throughout the day, I suddenly contemplate how difficult, painful, messy, etc it would be to kill myself with the nearest potentially dangerous object
>>5727007
lmao all these trannies itt
just accept who you were born as, you can't just become the opposite gender
life would be a lot easier if you would just let go of your envy
>>5731808
I've accepted that my brain is wired to perceive myself as female and I'm doing what I can to make myself stop pretending to be a guy
>>5731808
>you guys should ignore your mental illness and not get the appropriate treatment
/pol/ pls go. We know the Jews made up medicine, okay+
>>5731808
>just b urself
Why should I believe you over the majority of doctors?
>>5731858
Yeah well I don't plan to be alive in 50 years so that doesn't bother me
>>5731858
>I can tell the future
You obviously know everything about everything and science can't be trusted, eh? Pretty tumblr desu.
>>5731919
typical liberal logic -- find one line of reasoning and attempt to apply it to everything
the world doesn't work like that lmao
>>5731932
>my reasoning is perfect
>who cares that I go against scientists and doctors
How can you seriously believe this without seeing the irony.
>>5731947
lmao
you're literally no different than fundamentalist muslims and christians
read up, educate yourself
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientism
>>5731968
>implying I beleieve I science can be applied to everything
>implying science can't be applied to the human body and mind
Scientism is only an issue when you apply it to areas that can't be proven. Too bad most of the physical world can be.
You're worse than any Muslim or fundamentalist Christian. At least some of them still vaccinate their children.
>>5731993
>implying psychology can be proven
there's a reason it's called a soft science LMAO
>>5732059
>being this retarded
>implying psychology isn't just chemical reactions
I bet you were just pretending, friend :^)
>>5732090
>believing the "science" of human behavior can be infallible
>being this retarded
HAHAHA i just spit out my drink laughing
Thinking about it right now
Tried it by taking a bunch of pills once before. Had a bad nosebleed a few hours after then was asleep for 2 days. Could not walk right for months.
I still feel like that overdose was why I have type 1 diabetes now but they tell me no.
How come every time I post in a thread all the replies stop
>>5727007
Yeah, always, but I'm better than whoever dies by their own hand anyway so whatever l m a o
I'm not at that point yet, but I do feel like I am edging on it at times. Chances of me ever passing at 24+ are near impossible and I genuinely think the happiest time in my life was pre-puberty when I might have had a chance. I regret never trying on a dress or even just getting my nails done.
>>5733002
>I regret never trying on a dress or even just getting my nails done
I know that feel, senpai. I never put on lipstick or nail polish because my mom uses hers so infrequently I was sure she would notice. I never put on her clothes because I was afraid of being caught in the act. I don't know where I got this paranoia from, but my aunt has schizophrenia, maybe it's related.
>>5731051
What do you mean that you had her? Did you break up with her or did she get killed? Since it couldn't be that she killed herself?
>You even can have your own chasers, that can love you like a girl.
How is that different for Russian trans girls then? Your MtF had you, you can't be the only open-minded man in all of Russia.
I'd like to slowly murderfuck every scrum bag that encourage's someone to kill themselves. Fucking weak spineless sadist garbage. I'm not mad. I just hope you know how pathetic you are.
Live ladies live. There will always be those who will say hurtful things but they are wrong you have to find the love within yourself not from the world. This is the beginning of a movement trans will be accepted in time, you were born for a reason. Join the movement.
>>5735792
kek
>>5727007
The poll says "thinking" but you said "considering" in your OP. These will get you different results. As will if you had added, "currently thinking" vs. "have considered at some point." Probably most everyone thinks about it at some point, a lot of trans people may even consider it. A lot of trans people even attempt it (~40%). And then theres the problem of who clicks the thread about suicide to begin with, I'd guess moreso the people for whom it is relevant. Just considerations to make, not to take the results too seriously.
>>5735792
I'll leave the changing of society to the delusional hons and the pre-pubertal transitioners. Good luck to them.
>>5727007
does taking LD50 dosages of drugs count?
I want to fucking kill myself every day of my life. To be fair, I don't think this is because I'm trans. This is because I'm a mentally fucked up drug addict.
>>5727115
Just kill yourself
>>5727021
I honestly feel like I should be mtf but this is the exact reason i haven't gotten the pills. I want a wife and I don't think I'll be able to be loved if I do it. I wear women's clothes at home and I feel like I'm in a man "costume" when I go out.
>>5727052
>depression = contemplating suicide
Only if you're a pathetic subhuman creature.
MTF here. I never considered suicide pre-transitioning. I mean, I was miserable, yeah, but not suicidal. 7 years into HRT and 4 years into full-time now... life is awesome and I would definitely never consider suicide. I want to live until I'm 90, take the new immortality/youth treatments, then live forever travelling through space.
And even if I don't get to live forever, travelling through space in a young, cute body or a robot body, it's OK. Life is fun.
>>5729514
Take some Vitamin D supplements m8. As someone who lives beyond the wall, Vitamin D is pretty much required not to lose it in the winter.
>>5735600 >>5731600
Most people in Russia hate or despise trans and consider them degenerate freaks. Living in a small city is basically impossible. Hatemongering against lgbt is official state policy.
'Chasers' are mostly interested in sex only and keeping it secret too, cause of public shaming, and that's why many transgirls in Russia live with eachother
>>5731645
Is it this bad everywhere in Brazil? No good cities with low crime and tolerance to lgbt?
>>5729514
How is that not seasonal affective disorder?
Therapist says I have depression. I would never kill myself thou never even thought about it. I just feel like there is no reason to do anything or try ever.
>>5727013
>>5727021
>>5727031
>>5742246
>>5740021
>>5739662
>>5739605
>>5737427
>>5737403
>>5737188
>>5737069
>>5735968
>>5736009
>>5735792
>>5740021
>>5735600
>>5733101
>>5733002
>>5732725
>>5732785
>>5732151
>>5732116
>>5732090
>>5732059
>>5731993
>>5731968
oh boy prepare yourselves for yet another thread where undereducated morons on the internet shit deluded opinions and prejudice all over each other. let us watch as idiots who don't understand anything about politics claim to be experts, rage when anyone disagrees with them and perpetuate an incredibly low level of public dialogue. like the blind leading the fucking deaf, or however that stupid saying goes. what is even the point? literally no one will change their beliefs, everyone here is an arrogant stubborn faggot. all of you can pretty much just go fuck yourselves to death. it is not possible to have a well informed, courteous debate here, why bother with another stupid fucking shitflinging thread for the autists.
>>5737069
k keep wasting your life here we are proud of you.
>>5731051
>If you were born in USA or Canada or one of the largest EU counties, no matter cis you or trans - you have so much less reasons to complain. Really, birth in one of this this countries grant you so much freedom and capabilities. It grants you high level of life quality.
That's what I hate about my situation. I was born into pretty good circumstances, not perfect but good ones, at the very least when compared to what they could have been. I feel guilty, and to a greater degree, retarded, for wasting the opportunity I was given.
My parents were both born and raised in the Dominican Republic, a Latin American country in the Caribbean sea, and they came to the US as adults. I was born here. DR is the sort of country with corrupt police and government officials, the power going out regularly in non-tourist zones, a rigidly Catholic population, high rate of violence, ignorance, etc.
All of that, and here I am in the US with just a taste of those problems. There was even a program that started the month I turned 12 that gave puberty blockers to 12 year olds. There is the question of whether my parents would have even been able to afford the treatment, and that's without even taking travel costs into account. But perhaps when I was 14 I could have gotten a job that would cover the costs from then on. I don't know.
I wasn't born in the perfect time and place, but I was definitely born in better ones than 95% of humanity from the beginning of our species. And I wasted it.
>>5742337
Those words burn, senpai. Not because I care what other hons think, but because I remember all of my teachers, even the ones in high school telling me and my parents how smart I was and their high expectations of me. But I drew away from everything because of my discomfort with myself, and I fell very short of their expectations of me so far. I don't think I'll ever catch up even though I have started going to college.
>>5727007
Before I started transitioning it took a really close friend to talk me out of it on a particularly bad night. Don't think I'd be here if it weren't for her. But since I've started transitioning things have gotten a lot better and I don't think about that anymore, sure things are still hard but its getting better the farther I go.
>>5742246
its only SAD when it fully remits otherwise
