Pic related because you fuckers on 4chin seem to like pics...
I'm a pre-op, pre-hormones mtf transgendered person, and I have been struggling so much with my psyche lately. I'm emotionally drained from so much turmoil. I know for a fact that I very much enjoy being feminine. I wear makeup, I wear dresses and various ambiguous articles of clothing, and I often express my energies by going out entirely in drag. My problem is that I have so many outside factors (mainly people) that are tugging me in different directions. Some say I should just transition. I'm a female, I was always meant to be one, and this is the obstacle I must overcome to be whole. Others say I should accept the body I was born in. They say I should use this opportunity to fully embrace both masculine and feminine sides by focusing my feminine energy into drag performance, and allowing my masculinity to free itself.
Some men are attracted to the fact that I have a penis. Some would rather not acknowledge it exists.
Personally, I can't FUCKING FIGURE IT OUT. I'm quite the conspiracy theorist, and part of me is afraid that transitioning will somehow make me lose my real self. That it's part of some diabolical plan to keep the sheeple as they are. The other part of me thinks quite the opposite; That transitioning will complete my being, and help me transcend above the cloud of ignorance that is the current state of the planet.
Sorry if this rant was a waste of your time, but if there is anyone out there that would like to leave some input, please do so. I'm slowly losing my mind bashing my head against the wall here.
-Zoe
>>5712665
No matter what you decide upon, the Jews will claim victory, regardless of your outcome.
>>5712671
lmfao. fuck.
I hadn't even considered that...
>>5712665
if you want the D keep it, if you want the V cut that shit off.
but no matter what we say, you will always choose male behavior, all men are gay, just praise your male overlords and stop trying to act like you were actually considering it.
>if you were actually considering it, you wouldn't be on the chan asking.
>>5712678
Well I hear that as long as I stay pre-op, I can reverse the transition if I change my mind. Is this true? I'm really really leaning towards taking hormones...
>>5712687
Fucking with your body chemistry causes permanent changes.
>>5712665
if you're passing now, why bother with hrt?
I can present full fem in regular life, and passing hasn't made my problems go away. And the fact that I don't hate being male means I'm not trans.
It's taken me about a year to come to this pt.
>>5712665
You sound like you need to lie in someones arms and be held for a while. I could provide that for you.
>>5712665
people constantly change themselves through medical means. that you are changing yourself to defy your original blueprint does not disqualify you from belonging to that category of society that feels a conflict between soul and body. your real self is your thoughts, your emotions. that is what gives shape to your world. perhaps you should attempt to be female without changing your body, since 1. the operations are irreversible 2. your existing erogenous tissue is wired to your male body; your whole system contemplates a certain masculinity 3. femininity is something that you can use to temper your existing, organic masculinity 4. your quality of life will no doubt be better if you allow yourself to coalesce with your species properly. I don't think that it's ignorant to see gender as specified. I do think that it is naive to believe that the crude operations for sex change will allow you to fully become a woman, or even at all. 5. Take the path of least resistance, since you struggle with the choice. You can be feminine as a man, and your actions will be more meaningful and persuasive to your community because you are accepted.
>>5712671
you know whats up! so yeah care about yourself, rather than how you fit into some grand scheme
Choping of your dick is a treatment to dysphoria. Apparently quite a few trans decide to keep it since passing is all they wanted. Some come from the other direction, not feeling particular feminin but look down their body and see a D where there should be a V. If you have that dysphoria choping is the treatment. If you don't you should seriously consider keeping it (cause your body will treat your custom build V as a wound and try to close it - that's what it will be like till death)
>>5712722
because aging without hrt means any feminine appearance you have will shortly fade away.
>>5712665
are you dysphoric? do you hate being male? do you like being female?
if you answered yes to all 3 of those questions, transitioning is probably the route you should go.
but the truth is nobody should tell you what to do. It's your body and your decision, and whatever you feel would make you most happy and most content is what you should do for yourself.
asking others and allowing your self to be swayed by their opinions is not good. They are not you, and they do not know what is best for you.
i know im n help at all with this answer, but its the simple truth imo. go with what you yourself believes truely believes will make you happy.
I must say you have a pretty cute face.
OP here. Thank you all for your answers. I will try to respond to as many as I can, but so far you have been helpful.
>>5712722
The older I get, the less feminine my features become. This may sound too personal, but whenever I'm hooking up with a guy I immediately stop if I start to get a boner... or any sign that I could be male. Hrt would help my penis be... less prominent in my sex life.
That's how I currently feel, so unlike you, I feel that I am indeed trans
>>5713789
how do you have such plump cheeks w/o hrt?
>>5712882
This post by far speaks with me the most. Thank you for your kind and wise words. <3
>>5712724
Honestly... I really do just need someone to hold me for a while. I know it would make me feel so much better.
I also know you are an anonymous person on the other side of that keyboard, and I have no idea who you are, where you are, or what you look like... But thanks for the offer.
>>5713815
Idk I was born/grew up with a lot of feminine features. I have always had kind of an hourglass shape, and even developed nipple buds during puberty, so I'm assuming I'm just already pre-wired with more estrogen than normal...
>>5713815
Makeup is magic.
>>5713007
Thank you so much for this. I truly appreciate it, and will keep it in mind. <3
>>5713838
This as well! Haha makeup helps incredibly, but even without it I just have a naturally feminine face.
>>5713789
What's your tumblr op?
You're gorgeous.. Honestly. You might lose acceptance from certain people, but the true people will still be there. You're a female. Own it. Be it. :)
>>5713823
If you act quickly, you could still manage to snuggle into my arms on Valentine's Day.
>>5712671
I don't care about your ranting about the jews anymore uncle /pol/ I just want you to hold my hand in public for once.
Take hormones before you turn into a hon and regret not doing it before.
HRT can be reversed anyways for the most part
>>5712665
Hi Zoe,
You've come here seeking guidance, but don't you think at such a critical time in your life, you not let your decision be made based upon the opinions of others?
I've been in a similar position as you, and I feel that there is no right or wrong path you can take here. As long as you're happy with the choice you make, and really feel it was the right decision, then it doesn't matter what you decide to do.
I suggest you not take any action in the immediate future, and that you really give it some time and thought. If you don't already meditate, then I'd strong encourage you to do so. It's given me a lot of clarity and direction in my life, and I feel it would be very beneficial to you as well.
>>5712665
I can relate. I've been trapping on /b/ for years, a decently big part of the allure is the attention of course, but I crossdress because it feels more natural than wearing boy clothes. Lately I've been thinking a lot about if I'm actually transgender though, and I just can't seem to figure it out. Whenever I see a well dressed young woman, I can't help to feel immense envy at the way they're able to present themselves. In a way, I identify more with female mannerisms and looks than male, but I don't hate my male gender and have never really felt that I was born in the wrong body, as most transgenders seem to have experienced since early childhood. I'm getting too old for transitioning, and with my current family and work situation, I can't imagine having to go through a transition.
I don't know how your situation is with medical help, but perhaps you owe it to yourself to at least talk to a professional and try to work these issues out?
>>5712665
Hope everything works out for you OP
