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Anonymous
Confusion about pre-trans names and pronouns
2016-02-09 15:41:36 Post No. 5696252
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Confusion about pre-trans names and pronouns
Anonymous
2016-02-09 15:41:36
Post No. 5696252
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I have some questions and want to get some opinions or experience anybody's had with referring to trans friends in the past, before they began transitioning or even knew themselves.
Basically I have two FtM friends, one (I'll call S) who started transitioning a few years ago, has been going on T for a couple months, and just got top surgery. Another (I'll call C) only in the past 6 months or so started coming out as trans and started using a male name and pronouns.
Since it's kind of the crux of my confusion I'm gonna just refer to both of them before they transitioned as "she". I have no issue at all using their male names and pronouns now, this is just about the past.
I have a pretty easy time seeing S as always having been a guy. I didn't really know "her" that much when I was younger, but she was always a massive tomboy and such. I remember talking with her at one point just before she graduated high school, not long before she came out and started transitioning, and she talked about coming out as a lesbian and that she thought she might be trans but that her mom talked her out of it (wooh boy his mom is a whole screwed up part of his story...). Looking back it just kinda makes sense that she was actually trans.
C on the other hand I have a much more difficult time trying to think of as being a guy in the past, mostly because I had my first relationship with "her". She was a very feminine person when I first met and dated her, in the years after started being a bit more androgynous, and then in the past couple months has started coming out and working on transitioning. It's not a "I'm not gay bro!" thing, since I'm bi and could probably see myself dating a trans guy just fine, but it just doesn't work in my head calling our relationship a "gay" one since I didn't know, and she didn't really know either at the time, that she was trans.
It also just feels weird to me when people like C's sister talk about the past back in her childhood, about her "brother".