Hey faggots. Stop hitting on straight men.
We don't want you. In fact we think you're pathetic. I grew up in New York City and had no reason at all to think that you were pathetic, until I started to meet some of you. Then you provided me with plenty of reasons.
I think even if you were a woman with a sopping wet pussy I would drop you the next morning like a bad habit because you'd have given me three dozen red flags in the space of a single forgettable evening.
Why do you even want to get married so much? It's not like any of you can stand to be around each other longer a month or two anyway.
Well, I'm glad I don't have to spend the rest of my life with some stuck up woman. Nothing is better in the whole world than having a male friend you can do butt stuff with and touch each other dicks and such. Why are you hating on us anon?
I don't hit on straight guys(maybe when I get drunk). What's so wrong with wanting to suck you's guys dicks.
>>5671132
Enjoy the attention while it lasts. Smelly ass.
>>5671411
>Homosexuals can't experience same-sex friendship.
I've had straight friends all my life, if anything I prefer to hangout with straight males(who like to banter) than some boring girl.
Why are you so mad at gay people? We all aren't annoying faggots like you see in mainstream media and films.
>Sorry homo, straight guys get more attractive as we age. It's your community that's desperately obsessed with youth.
Then I just start pounding 18 year old pussies when I get old.
>>5671132
I barely come here but every time I do I see those polgbt threads and comics where the gay dudes here have this fantasy that all the guys on pol will turn gay and fall in love with them, what the fuck is that about? Why would they think that would happen?
>>5671431
>kek anything that triggers gay men is bait
>>5671499
It's hard being gay, last think we need is some filthy pussy lover telling us how bad we are and calling us worthless faggots.
>>5671494
I don't want to convert someone.
I just want a nationalist like me.
>>5671132
>implying there aren't straight guys who like the attention
>>5671499
ironically using the word Trigger like it's a real thing
>>5671132
>Jew York City
>>5671526
>like it's a real thing
Not that anon, but it is a real thing for people who have serious mental illnesses. Tumblr on the other hand... (even if they seem like that sometimes)
>>5671486
>We all aren't annoying faggots like you see in mainstream media and films
That's true, you're an altogether different species of annoying faggot in reality.
>>5671494
Some kind of delusional wish fulfillment.
>>5671520
There aren't you delusional fucking faggot. At the very least we're more polite than you deserve only due to intermittent pity.
>>5671512
>it's hard being gay
I would imagine it's hard being that divorced from reality, I guess.
>>5671535
>I sublimate my intense shame and self-loathing into a psuedo-/pol/ identity to appear cool
>>5671548
>straight guys don't like the attention from gays
>gets into a gay board to get attention from gays
>>5671548
Why are you being so mean? Let me touch your bugle anon... Maybe you'll like it.
>>5671132
Damn son, why you so salty?
I'm a straight man too. About a year ago I was travelling on a business trip to Boise with a gay coworker and good friend of mine -- he's like a brother to me. Since my gaybro grew up in the rural American South, he had never had the opportunity to visit a gay bar. So I took him to one and played wingman.
Over the course of a few beers, I got hit up by a couple of the locals. Being a straight guy, this was a new experience for me. Instead of being a cunt about it, I just explained my situation to them and let them down easy. I was flattered but not interested. Later my wife and I had a good laugh about the episode.
Now from your post, I'm assuming that you've been hit on by gay men as well. If one gets too pushy and handsy, then by all means deck the bastard. (I give women the same advice about straight men who don't take "no" for an answer.) But if he's polite about it and respects your boundaries, then there's no need for you to be a douche about it.
Why are so many straight men so insecure that they can't take a motherfucking compliment?
Just enjoy the blowjob. That's all I want. To give you pleasure. I won't tell your wife.
>>5671548
>>I sublimate my intense shame and self-loathing into a psuedo-/pol/ identity to appear cool
The Irony
>>5671579
>Why are so many straight men so insecure that they can't take a motherfucking compliment?
Because there are so many "straight guys" in denial, that's why the get so mad and salty around the subject of homosexuality. It's been scientifically shown that homophobic men get a bigger erection from viewing gay porn rather than lesbian porn, while the straight guys who have no problem with homosexuality don't get any erection to gay porn.
>>5671494
Because normalfag gays are annoying WE MUST TOLERATE EVERYONE type who vote for Hillary Clinton and don't have nationalistic spirit.
>>5671568
I'm just here to bully you, it's a lot easier than I thought.
>>5671596
>straight men don't want my dick? why?
>it must be because they secretly... want my dick!
It's like you can't even hear yourselves.
>>5671579
>let me tell why this single anecdotal experience I had should inform everyone's entire worldview!
Damn son, do you come to this board just to jerk yourself off over how tolerant you are about people you never have to interact with?
Do you know what happens after you deck them, you idiotic hick? You think they just suck it up and move on like we do? No, they go crying straight to the police, dumbass. The last time a faggot didn't know when to quit I smashed his head into the legs of a barstool. He immediately went limp, started sobbing and tried to dial the cops. If I didn't have the bartender as a witness they'd have cuffed me instead.
>>5671596
Riddle me this, then. I've only like women and feminine males, gay porn largely disgusts me and I find most homosexual men gratting.
>>5671646
aww why so tsundere anon-kun
maybe you just needs some rubs on your onchinchin :3
>>5671132
What, is this a thing? Do other straight guys get hit on by gay guys?
I wish someone would hit on me. I don't care who at this point.
>>5671661
>I've only like women and feminine males
literally bisexual
>>5671676
I guess. I don't know what to say when it comes up. I don't like manly men. It's too bad all trannies are fucking crazy (believe me, I'm living with one).
>>5671431
>"I'm teaching people not to stand up to assholes because I'm one of the good guys!"
The only reason I'm not going to spend a great deal of time shitting on this pedo thread is because I am but one homosexual with a limited amount, and apparently the only one that will tell the truth about these billions and billions of straight shitthreads.
>>5671760
>limited ammount *of time
>>5671760
>p-people are creating troll threads... o-on 4chan!
>>5671132
but stereotypical faggot men are disgusting, only real men are acceptable boyfriends
>>5671778
>"Being a piece of is ok because this is MY HOUSE!"
I kicked a piece of shit's door down and came after him once in his own house. The only reason he's not dead today is because he moved as soon as he learned I didn't like him.
You anon-kuns should be dragged out of your precious 4chan and shot for being dog shit.
>>5671806
>>>/r/thingsthatneverhappened
>>5671832
Ok. It didn't happen. But in the meantime, I'm going to repeat that you're a worthless pedophile in case anybody missed it.
OP has a stash of butt plugs. Don't be ashamed. A real dick feels even better than a piece of plastic.
>>5671840
Is that really the best you've got, Reddit?
>>5671872
>implying I'm going to "give it my best" vs dankposting
I suppose you use a crane to remove a peanut butter jar lid, right?
>>5671877
Have you been to see a behavioral psychologist anon? Because the way you think and communicate feels really off to me, I recommend you talk to a professional if you haven't already.
>passive aggressive faggotry
you're pretty amusing all right
>>5671646
>I'm here to bully you
You're so cool anon bet you get all the ladies
>>5671884
The way you feel doesn't matter pedophile.
>>5671899
Is that why you've been here trying to hurt my feelings for over thirty minutes?
>>5671910
>"He hates me, therefore he CARES ABOUT ME!"
You'd make a good stepford wife.
>>5671928
Well, yes. You're spending time and energy out of your short life hating me, whereas I don't think about you at all.
Stay mad though.
>>5671936
You shitpost every second of ever day, and plan out elaborate danks with hundreds of your fellow straight Christian pedophiles, organizing identical memes which you execute down to the letter at regular intervals, all because your Jesus Christ said that if you treat me like I deserve rights YOU'LL go to hell. You think about me quiet a lot.
On the other hand, there's millions of pedophiles, and I just think of you as one of them.
And I'm not ashamed of being angry. I really don't know what kind of pussy mothers you had raising you, that you pedophiles think that for a man to be angry is a bad thing. Where I come from being mad is a virtue.
>>5671954
Just a bored secular Jew, actually. I do it for fun and because I'm quite good at it, and I want you to know that hooking a poster as autistic and salty as you is what really makes it all worth it. Tell me more about all the straight Christian pedophiles.
>>5671981
Quite good at what? Being afraid? Being stupid? Being boring? You're a cowards Christian straight pedophile, your danky dank memes don't change that.
>>5671988
This is amazing. Are you like the /lgbt/ version of Barneyfag?
>>5672001
I don't know. Are you like the /lgbt/ version of someone who says shit I don't care about and makes obscure references that don't matter in order to double dank?
>breeder peasant comes here to tell us to stop hitting on straight people
Why? Afraid we're going to hit on you?
Don't worry that'll never happen.
>>5672101
Happens constantly, that's why I'm telling you cut it the fuck out.
In fairness I am pretty astonishingly good looking. But that's no excuse.
>>5672112
Don't respond to yourself pretending to be someone else shit-chan.
>>5672116
>Happens constantly, that's why I'm telling you cut it the fuck out.
>I am pretty astonishingly good looking.
>>5672116
>Happens constantly
you must look like a fag.
>>5672133
>fags only hit on fags, they don't deliberately hit on obviously straight people out of sheer delusion
>>5672145
>I don't know how to greentext
>>5672145
Oh, we do. But not constantly. If you get that much attention from gay guys, you must look like a flaming faggot. You certainly behave like one on the internet.
>>5672145
>they don't deliberately hit on obviously straight people
It can be kind of confusing to tell on sight who is straight and who isn't.
>>5672164
Don't respond to yourself shit-chan.
>>5672193
>i don't like things
>>5672214
Don't respond to yourself shit-chan.
>>5672217
>>5672217
I love how this guy has completely lost track of who I am
>>5672261
That anon responded to himself, just like you did earlier. What, did you think you were the only shit-chan on 4shit?
>>5672271
No, he responded to me. You're very confused
>>5672274
No, he responded to himself. Don't lie either shit-chan, that's also not cool.
>>5672271
>That anon responded to himself
No I didn't.
Why would I hold 2 directly conflicting opinions let alone post about them on what is the second most irrelevant board on 4chan?
You're just grasping at straws at this point.
>>5672277
Do you find yourself often seeing patterns and conspiracies that others don't acknowledge?
>>5672287
To try and fool me, because your ego needs for you to be able to pull a pointless lie that doesn't accomplish anything off successfully, that way you'll feel like Jesus Christ is winning and you're epic.
Trolls do it all the time.
>>5672298
Do you often try to mask your bad behavior by accusing anyone who catches you of being mentally ill?
>>5672303
What the fuck.
>>5672336
70% of the words that leave people's mouths in face-to-face conversations are lies.
People go to either end of this extreme. Some people, 99% of the words that leave their mouths in this circumstance are lies. Others, 99% is the truth. But 70% lies is the average.
Anyone that lies 49% of the time or less get's a rush of dopamine when they tell the truth, but not when they lie. Anyone who lies 51% of the time or more get's a rush of dopamine when they lie.
You're just trying to satisfy an addiction to your lies. And coupled with your fear of hell and your being cucked by Jesus Christ drives most of your actions.
And the average Republican like yourself lies 75% of the time face-to-face, while Democrats do it 65% of the time.
And that percentage jumps by 20% when you're using anonymous posting on the internet.
It's biology.
>>5672366
Do you really have nothing better to do today than whatever it is you think you're accomplishing?
>>5672376
I'm not going to stop just because you're upset that I'm pointing out that your kind is worthless.
>>5672382
Help I'm getting cucked by Jesus Christ
JESUS TAKE MY WIFE
>>5672393
One of the central tenets of Christianity is that Mary was blessed and priviledged to be bred by God, and that Joseph was right to labour to feed his bull's baby. Women of Christianity wish it was them, and men wish they could be cucked.
Face it, the Father is your bull, Jesus is his fluffer, and the Holy Spirit is the cockring.
>>5672366
I usually only tell half truths at most. That way I can't be accused of lying. Just so you know.
>And coupled with your fear of hell and your being cucked by Jesus Christ drives most of your actions.
I'm not christian. I don't fear hell. I'm not even a Republican.
You're literally accusing 2 complete strangers of samefagging in some complex troll scheme on the least significant board on the internet just so I could supposedly satisfy my ego.
And all because I told the other guy he's a massive retard.
I'm starting to think I'm the one getting trolled.
>>5672427
The study I got that info from categorized half-truths as lies. I don't know how those results would turn out if we went grading truth on a curve. But it was clear that people who did the most lying got the biggest dopamine rush from lying, and vice versa. Which should come as no surprise really.
And you are Christian and Republican.
>>5671132
Hitting on straight guys is too fun desu
You just need to find a beta one that wont try to punch you and will only squirm uncomfortably powerlessly
>>5672448
>categorized half-truths as lies.
Why would an incomplete truth be a lie?
That's just stupid.
>And you are Christian and Republican.
Alright, prove it.
>>5672463
>Why would an incomplete truth be a lie?
That's how truths and lies are categorized. In the English dictionary at least. "Truth" doesn't mean "half bullshit, half not." I imagine the scientists did it that way because they were English-speaking. I don't know about any other peoples' equivalents or how truth and lies are defined in other languages.
>Alright, prove it.
You prove to me that the sky is blue.
>>5672424
holy shit lel
>>5672483
>That's how truths and lies are categorized.
My half truths contain no bullshit. I just omit information.
>You prove to me that the sky is blue.
>what is burden of proof.
You claim I'm christian and Republican, your job to prove it.
I'll wait.
>>5672510
There's no burden on me to prove anything. I never let straight people burden me with anything I don't have to.
This is social engineering. You don't dankpost pro-Jesus memes. It's your job to prove that you're not dogshit. Even your beloved Encyclopedia Dramatica, which is owned and staffed completely by your kind, points out that you're a pedophile Christian piece of shit. The whole world knows it you dog shit. Now prove them wrong. I'll wait.
>>5672530
*You dankpost pro-Jesus memes
>>5671411
>Homosexuals can't experience same-sex friendship.
Yea, it's called having a bf
>>5672530
First you're accusing me of samefagging, then you're accusing me of being being a Christian and a Republican, and now you're fucking calling me a breeder of all things?
What did I do to deserve this?
>>5672554
christfag dankposter
BTFO
T
F
O
WHERE IS YOUR COCKRING NOW
>>5672585
>>5671579
>straight bro is a bro.
That's cool as fuck, mang. my brother is gay, moved across state lines for college. didn't have many friends yet, so I go out there one weekend and chill with him for a bit. wants to hit up a bar, so we go to a gay bar. He said he was glad he was able to go out with a wingman, since he didn't meet any cool people yet.
>>5672530
Where does the pedo stuff fit into all this?
>>5671132
We had a something here in the small city, where a woman was mistreating her husband, who was training baseball and soccer teams and was loved by everyone. So the boys and girls decided that the woman should show some respect, and they send their single mothers (and gay dads) to hit hard on her husband. So one picture appeared where he was "backrubbed" by a hunk of a man, the text saying "at least he is getting some! wink wink".
The man later thanked his boys and girls. He said, that his wife suddenly turned from witch to
sex puppet, because she wouldn't bear the embarrassment of her deeply religious family that she might turned her husband gay.
>>5673638
>tfw no hunk of a man to backrub you
>>5671132
Dude, you realize 90% of gay men are terrified to hit on straight guys? The only ones that do are the crazy ones.
>>5673764
You're all crazy.
>>5672530
What the fuck are you actually talking about?
>>5675751
The last refuge of the butthurt
>>5671132
Hey, "hetero". Funny to see you still think any self-respecting homosexual would want you.
How are you enjoying your opposite gender? Just as difficult to court and communicate with as ever, I assume. Well, it's still good to see that you're so content with your life that you need to whine at other people about how irritating their relationships are. Remember, anecdote = universal truth.
It's funny how many suspicions your post raises. The only thing more questionable than your paragraph spacing is the fact that a heterosexual would even bother going on /lgbt/. It's almost as if this were a bait thread...
Oh well, I'm just going to snuggle up with my awesome, loving, dedicated husband and watch a movie now. Enjoy your >50% chance of divorce, like a good little hetero. I'll just be here with all the other gays and our much lower spousal cheating rate. I'm sure your soon-to-be-ex-wife will leave you with something after she ultimately wins everything you own and goes to relish another breeder's penis to repeat the cycle of hetero-exploitation. Then again, she probably won't.
>>5679104
/lgbt/ - Salt Flats
Was anyone else reminded of pic related after reading OP's post?
>>5679233
>dresses like that
>gf dresses like that
>says "Shit was SO cash"
>gets straight A's
>straight A's
Same type of shit-tier bait desu
OP maybe you're getting hit on so much is because other gays think you're a homosexual yourself? I bet you act really faggy and other gay guys get the wrong idea so they think they'll get somewhere by hitting on you.
That would happen to be when I was in denial(out clubbing), I'd have gay guys hit on me, or rub on my on the dance floor.
Why the fuck would a straight man(who isn't repressing his cock lust) care so much? Just because you jerk off do straight porn doesn't mean you're straight, I would jerk off to straight porn and fool myself into thinking I wasn't a faggot while lusting over the males in the videos.
>>5679233
That's way older than this board
