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FtMg: Bored Edition
Old: >>5630164
Don't forget to sage and wait to make new threads until we're at bump limit on page 9-10.
Ancient map: https://www.zeemaps.com/edit/U0Hw9yNtqrJd-qzTdbUFMw
Some info (excuse the tumblr, it's truscum): http://helpfultransinfo.tumblr.com/tags/
Skype group: add cheeki-briki or duckduckfrog
Google Hangout: TBA
Any ideas for new editions?
Who here is stormed in?
Tattoos: yay or nay, post pics
Best type of sock
Binder rash tips
Best colour of binder
>>5670141
>Best colour of binder
You're reaching.
Let's have a discussion on: if you're gay, why are you single? Picking up gay guys is easier than making a cup of tea, so if you're single, why?
>>5670182
>reaching
Hi newfriend
thread is off to a shitty start
>>5670182
1. I'm still in love with my ex (straight dude; being FtM is suffering). We were together for over eight years, and I've never been in another relationship. I kind of don't ever want to be in another one now
2. I hate my body so much that the thought of someone touching me even through my clothes is unbearable. I just started T recently, so maybe in a few years I'll feel less awful about myself and the idea of being with someone won't seem so completely out of the question
3. I like being alone
4. I'm a neurotic, autistic spaghetti monster and, even if I wanted to, I'd probably even manage to fail at picking up a gay guy
5. I'm ugly
tfw youre a dom transgirl and you want a sub transguy to play around with
it'll never happen.. ;_;
>>5670476
ftm guy here
it happened for us and shes fucking perfect GOD DAMN
you'll get what you wish for one day, anon ;_; /purestformoflove/
Guess who's getting referred to a specialist psychiatrist? Fuck, I'm scared.
>>5670767
The dead general (including me) is behind you brotha, godspeed
chest binder feels
>finally get a binder, get two from gc2b from friends recommendation
>get med and s because I'm in between sizing
>they sit completely away from my ribcage, and almost nothing is compressed or covered
any advice for someone who measures 35" on top and 26" right below the chesticles that doesn't involve ordering from that one overpriced tumblr based binder company
>>5670896
Thanks brah. As far as I can tell, I'm the only trans person I know so you guys are all I got. Without searching for somebody and blowing my cover in the process, anyway.
>>5670182
because I don't want a boyfriend. I date people casually and have FWB and that's enough for me. I don't like relationships.
Shit, I thought everyone was lying about there being tons of snow today, but it's really coming down.
>>5670342
wow, pretty much all these apply to me too...oneitis is the worst
>>5670182
My shit is nowhere near sorted enough to handle any kind of steady relationship, and I've been burned badly enough the last times I tried to go casual that I get anxious as fuck about it.
Also I should honestly get an STI panel first to make sure I'm not about to fuck up anybody's day.
>>5671013
What is gc2b? Is it one of those Asian companies? I got my first one from one of those, les love boat, and it was fucking awful. It was just a heavy material that did nothing at all.
Went with underworks after that and never looked back.
>>5671684
gc2b is New York based, I've been watching my order go from there to London in the last couple days.
>binder delivery excitement
>>5671723
I looked them up and they seem cool, but I'm honestly weary of any company that isn't underworks now.
Anyway, do they offer an extra small size? Not sure if that would help considering what you said about coverage. I would contact their customer support and see if they can help. Or Id check out other sites that offer binders and see if their size charts match up any better with your measurements.
How many here /mommyissues/
>>5673537
I honestly don't know what that entails, but my parents are shit so maybe?
>>5673537
I don't really have mommy issues, do you anon?
The only thing I have is that I've always been really close with my mom and she raised me with my sister mostly. But now I have trouble even just being around her. It bums me out and makes me mad as well.
>>5673537
I spent a good chunk of my life thinking my mom was the coolest person in the world, then realized she was an alcoholic and a literal child in an adult body.. She always made it seem like she was the only person advocating for me, when in the end all she does and ever did was let me down.
so maybe a little bit.
>>5673537
My mom is pretty much perfect, awesome, and accepting. Alas, I have /daddyissues/.
>Not anything really bad, he's just went crazy after my mom divorced him (fucking finally, she stayed with him "for me" even though we both hated him and living together with them when they would fight constantly was the worst). Anyway he can't hold any sort of even the most basic job because he's whiny and lazy as hell, will come over to our house saying he's "visiting me" and just complain that he's unemployed, and alone, how depressed he is, etc. Also he threatens to kill himself a lot when I "ignore him"- aka I'm busy going to school 5 days a week and work 7-3 on the weekend so when he comes over the house- always uninvited and unannounced - to visit I just leave him banging at the door because I'm always tired af and have no more sympathy for him.
One of my closest friends has a dad who is basically my dad. He was literally born to be an awesome dad and I do things a lot with their family.
>>5674330
1+ for surrogate parents through friends.
My friend's mom's boyfriend was the closest thing I had to a dad growing up. I eventually grew apart from my friend and he eventually broke up with my friend's mom, but the two of us stay in touch. I don't know where I'd be without him in my childhood.
>>5673537
my mom's a goddamn narcissist so yeah, I guess so
Hey /ftmgen/ how many of you prefer the dominant/active role in a relationship? Is this more common than submissive/passive ftms?
>>5674443
Nowadays i'm subby as fuck, but pre-T my fantasies/uncomfortable dreams were dommy as fuck. I guess i mellowed out a bit.
>>5673537
A bit maybe? My mom was defiintely kinda the driving source of dysphoria for me. She's very concerned with How You Look To Other People and I definitely place a lot of my anxiety and issues as inherited from her.
While she's supportive of my transition, her first concerns were about how well I was going to pass now as a guy, and if I would now adhere more closely to a social norm.
All in all though she does a hell of a lot to make sure me and my sister do okay, though. Good mom, just anxious about everything.
>>5674443
I'm dominant as fuck
>>5673537
If I'm being honest, I probably have mommy issues.
>>5674078
Except for her being an alcoholic, that sounds like my mom.
Yeah, mommy issues. She fucked me up pretty good. I'm only now realizing the extent of the psychological damage she inflicted on us. She completely lost her shit after both of her children came out as trans (lol, shit luck ma) and now she's pretending I'm dead or something. I hope she doesn't contact me. I'm looking forward to seeing her sometime a ways in the future when I look completely different. She hasn't seen me since right after I started T. I can't wait to see her reaction to me sporting a beard. Or to her "son" wearing a dress.
I spent most of my life feeling guilty about everything, including existing. For so long, I told myself that I could never come out as trans, I could never transition--it would just be too awful for my family and I'd lose my relationship with my mom. Now that our relationship has gone up in flames, I can see that it's MUCH better this way, and I don't even feel bad anymore. From what she's said, it seems like she'd rather have had anorexia kill me than have me live and be trans, so yeah, fuck her.
>>5674443
I've kept ending up more in a dominant role, but secretly I just want to be gently bullied by a smart and beautiful girl. ('sup, /mommyissues/)
Not a big fan of relationships with constant, clearly delineated roles, though.
>>5674746
>no concrete roles
Yeah i feel you on that on. I suppose I was just wondering what your tendencies are, as in, what role you are more likely to instinctively put yourself in on average.
>>5674443
I dunno what's more common but I'm totally dominant. I have a slight weakness for power bottoms but other than that I don't have a submissive bone in my body. I've tried bottoming but I hate it. Being submissive is boring as fuck.
>>5675089
It's boring if your top/dom is shit. But if you have a good one who knows what you like then it can be amazing (imo).
>>5675138
The boredom isn't the only or even the biggest reason I dislike it. I mostly just hate it when people tell me what to do. I get so pissy and aggravated when I feel like someone is controlling me or trying to control me. To me there's nothing pleasurable or fun about being bossed around or used or etc.
>if you have a good one who knows what you like then it can be amazing
I don't think there's anything submissive I would actually enjoy tho lol.
But yeah I also just get bored when I'm not active in bed. Why would I just lie there letting the other guy do the work when I could be on top of them pounding their ass into submission. I just love boning men way too much to give it up I guess.
>>5675251
>Why would I just lie there letting the other guy do the work
Nigga that ain't what it means to be a sub. You can be a sub and still do PLENTY of active shit in bed.
>>5670141
Just pick a wikipedia list and arbitrarily choose.
Ex:
Pine tree species
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Pinus_species
or
Fractals
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fractals_by_Hausdorff_dimension
Other ideas include optical illusions, mathematical shapes, cat breeds, famous painters, etc.
>>5675327
That is true to an extent and I was being a bit facetious but read the rest of my comment bro, it's just not in my nature and not enjoyable for me for lots of different reasons
>>5675251
Haha yeah it sounds like you just have a lot more dominant personality which is cool. All the power to you (literally).
>>5670141
>stormed in
yes
>tattoos
Covered in DIY blobs
>sock
black, hides the stains :')
>binder rash
wear a goddamn shirt or something underneath
>color of binder
black, hides the stains :')
>>5670767
They just don't want to fuck you up, anon. Be thankful they aren't trying to deal with you without knowing what they're doing.
>>5671013
Try xs. My gc2b is way more comfortable compared to my underworks and les love boat, both are made with really uncomfortable fabric and give me chafing, rashes, and back pain. If you have access to a sewing machine you can make one with bathing suit fabric (spandex nylon blend 40:60 or 30:70) and slightly stretchy cotton to line the inside. You should probably purchase one that fits you first as to replicate.
Is there any possible way to get taller? Will T make you grow?
I never should have drunk coffee when I was still growing.
>>5674443
I was 100% a top before I transitioned but now I want a guy who's bigger than me and takes the lead. Having your body change very significantly feels almost like being a virgin again, having to relearn sex & re-conceptualize yourself as a sexual actor.
>>5670476
Was true. But she threw me out. ;_;
So on if my coworkers got fired today and it made me feel really shitty more than I was feeling being 30min late and all, like waking up. Anyways it was a shitty day for me because just bad events happening tonight. Also I hot yelled at when I got home so I feel like dieing.
Unrelated I know but oh well.
>>5675699
No, unless you're not out of puberty.
http://www.ftmguide.org/myths.html#3
You *could* get leg lengthening, but it's expensive, rather risky, and you have to stay at a clinic for months. I find the whole process kinda disturbing.
>tfw no dick
>tfw only a bleeding hole
>>5678476
>find someone I actually feel attracted to
>click in every way
>offhandedly says he doesn't see the point in being with a guy with no dick
I want off this ride
>>5676353
Honestly I'll probably kill myself if I have to live as a female but I'd also kill myself if I have to live as a manlet.
>>5679363
Bruh
That fucking sucks
>>5679363
Wow thats a pretty dick thing to say, does he know you're ftm? Maybe you can try to reason with him if you ever end up dating him.
I got the letter in the mail today with the documentation re: why my health insurance company will not cover T (they apparently do not cover ANYTHING related to "sexual reassignment," including the top surgery I thought I'd be having done this summer). The letter didn't even spell the company's name right (two errors, no lie), and they wrote a completely contradictory sentence that implied the opposite of what they actually meant. It was written so poorly that, even though the letter was about denying my prior authorization request, they said that they WILL cover T if you DON'T have prostate or breast cancer (it's supposed to be that having those conditions causes them NOT to cover T for you). The people I've talked with on the phone have been uninformed and unhelpful. What it boils down to is that, unless there's some loophole that I'm missing, what they're doing is fucking illegal.
From my state's laws:
>Health insurers must cover medically necessary treatments related to gender identity disorder if those same treatments are covered for other conditions. In other words, if an insurance policy covers a hysterectomy that is medically necessary for a person with cysts, it cannot deny a hysterectomy that is medically necessary because of gender identity disorder.
From my health insurance company:
>We cover testosterone cypionate injections for cis men with hypogonadism...but not for trannies, lol @ you, you'll have to pay out of pocket and you won't get reimbursed
>We cover "top surgery" for cis women who can prove that they have a high familial risk of breast cancer...but not for trannies, lol @ you x ∞ bc there's no way you can pay for that shit
I don't understand. I know companies don't always follow the law, but I've never run into anything like this before. I already contacted my state's Insurance Division to ask if they're somehow doing this legally. I don't want to fight, I just want the equal coverage that my state is supposed to ensure...
I want to die.
I didn't want to make a new thread to ask this, but I want answers from both mtf and ftm so I'll post it to you both.
How bad is your self esteem? Do you think being trans has affected it more than other things? What else affects it? How does it affect your day to day life?
>>5680306
My self esteem is so shit that I'm very relaxed and outgoing because I just can't be bothered to give a fuck. Its been like this for so long I just adapted. On the bright side, my severe anxiety is next to none and it allows me to do things I used to be afraid to do or try. On the downside, its difficult to hold down jobs and not be homeless since I can't be bothered to care. I'll drop everything in a second and cross the country if I just feel like doing it, even when I know it will take weeks for me to get back.
As for anything being related to trans, ehh not really aside from when I'm getting on good with someone but I'm stealth so its either come out or not disclose if we are interested in each other. I rather just drop it.
I've been doing pretty good though now I have a mostly stable job. It keeps me distracted and on point, rather than couch surfacing and hitchhiking all over the place.
>>5679804
If you don't mind. What state do you live in? I know people who know people in insurance and law. I can get it looked at.
>>5680475
Your personality sounds hot as fuck. Post pics, bby.
>>5680306
I've always felt like a disgusting, worthless subhuman. Yeah, being trans is just one more thing that made me feel like I was "different" and didn't belong. I'm on the outside looking in and trying to understand what everyone else is doing and why I'm somehow failing at it. I have OCD and am a paranoid, anxious piece of crap, and I've been a huge burden on and letdown to my family. I'm so self-conscious that it's far easier to just stay in my apartment all the time than it is to go out and interact with anyone or even exist in public. It's pretty bad.
I am feeling a million times better about myself since I started transitioning, though. A big part of what I hated about myself was my own feminine traits. Still, I don't do any real face-to-face interaction beyond what's absolutely necessary for me to get by.
>>5680496
Oregon, of all places. This is an allegedly "progressive" health insurance company, and finding out about this huge (to me) gap in their coverage is pretty surprising. I'm just waiting to hear back from the Insurance Division. I'm really interested in what they're going to say.
>>5680590
I'll make some calls.
>>5680217
Why?
>>5680590
>>5680599
What I'm hearing is nobody's heard of a statute like that in Oregon. Maybe its a rule from the state insurance regulatory agency or something. It wouldn't surprise me to hear that such a rule existed. If you've already contacted the insurance board, you've probably done everything you can up to this point anyway. Best of luck.
Friendly reminder that your hips keep growing wider until the day you die
>>5680780
I was really hoping that was bullshit and googled it
apparently that's true for bio-male people as well so I guess it's not so horrible after all
>>5679363
This is why i'm afraid to transition. What's more worthless than a man with no dick.
Thank jesus h christ for being androgynous, my 'social dysphoria' isn't crippling
>>5680306
My self esteem is pretty weird. I think it's definitely related to being trans. I have often felt like a ghost; i'm really disconnected to my physical body so it's hard to channel confidence through it. My performance ends up being awkward, and if I focus too much on my physical body it can cause a lot of anxiety. If I disassociate, i'm outgoing but careless; end up saying stupid things and making a fool of myself. I fuck up a lot socially but I try not to let it get to me. However, at this point my self esteem is so low I don't function efficently. I really need to go on T.
>>5680306
I don't have self esteem.
The more time i spend alone, the more narcissistic i get, but the second i'm around another person, i feel subhuman
>>5680914
Are you me
>>5680306
My self esteem is on a weird up/down mode where I can feel on top of the world one minute, everything comes crashing down the next and I'm seconds away from killing myself
Being trans affects it for sure, me having to drop out of school is another reason (but the reason for that is because I got mocked for being trans, so I guess that ties into my terrible tranny-ness)
In general my constant feeling of inadequateness and the way my family makes sure to go ahead and prove my inadequate feelings right is another big cause.
Bad friendships I've been in are probably the biggest source of it next to being trans.
It's kind of hard to function when the only thing you want to do is think about how bad of a person you are and want to die for sure.
>>5680599
>>5680735
Ugh, thank you. I'm not looking forward to dealing with this. I only switched health insurance providers because my old one just went up in flames and was basically seized by the state. I was under the impression that companies couldn't legally do what this one is doing now, so this came as a big surprise.
>>5681147
Here seems to be a group that might help.
http://www.basicrights.org/programs-policy/transgender-justice/
According to my quick research, what your insurance is doing is illegal.
Pic unrelated.
I did it, I fucking called up my parents and told them I'm transitioning. Holy shit I thought I was going to have a heart attack.
>"We just want you to be happy, Anon!"
>"Buuuut maybe wait a few years before doing anything drastic!"
>mfw
At least I'm not disowned and I finally said it. Christ.
Branden isn't too "transtrendy" of a name, is it? It's what I'd be named if I was born a male anyway, but I'm curious.
MTF here, just wanted to ask you guys about something that I've been curious about. Lately normalfags have been becoming more and more aware about transexuals and shit, especially since Caitlyn Jenner.
Annoyingly I find it's making it harder for me to pass because people can recognize me as transexual now, when they would have just assumed I was a girl.
FTM transexuals are very much so more under the radar than FTMs though, so I was wondering if you guys have been feeling the effect of transexuality "going mainstream" as well.
>>5681163
I thought it was illegal, but now I don't know. I'm concerned that the company might have some sneaky way that they're getting through a loophole. I actually have a connection to Basic Rights Oregon and was thinking of contacting them if I can't get this mess sorted out, though.
>>5681461
Brayden (/Ayden/Cayden/Hayden/Ayylmaoden), yes, Branden/Brandon, no. Normal name, IMO.
>>5681462
I'm pre-everything, but Caitlyn Jenner's story helped my dad better understand what I'm going through. He'd likely be less accepting if I came out before.
>>5681472
Mine helped him better understand Caitlyn Jenner's lmao. When I came out MTF to him he was very confused, not even upset just confused.
He still thinks it just means I'm gay, even though I have a girlfriend.
"Yeah, and David Bowie is gay but he has a wife. He dressed like a girl like you too."
RIP BROOKLYN
>>5680516
Nahh I'm good. My personality probably doesn't match my face, honestly.
>>5680306
Generally, pretty decent.
I have been passing well for years and have a ton of friends, including new ones who don't even know I'm trans which is always fun. I'm doing well at University and I've had top surgery, so everything is in order, really. I'm pretty pleased with where I am.
The only thing that does tend to get me down is this girl I like. It's kind of a long story, and I'm pretty certain she would be with me if I wasn't trans and that is the one thing that makes me feel like worthless. Occasionally, she fucks some real loser (this isn't me being bitter, I don't think she's ever found a guy she really liked and she always usually winds up breaking down and telling me what a poor choice she made) and that is crippling for me, in those moments the depression just becomes all too real and I forget everything else that's good in my life. I guess it's because in moments like those I know we'd be perfect together but she would rather scrape the bottom of the barrel than even acknowledge having feelings for me. That's the biggest knock to my masculinity, tbph, and that's the shit that drives me insane, but yeah, other than that, I am doing really well and am generally pretty self confident. The only other time my self esteem gets down is when things get really shit. Last year I found out my brother had cancer, and my research project for Uni started to look hopeless very soon before the deadline as well as aforementioned girl just generally complicating matters. In those cases I just used to get so depressed that I lost confidence in everything and even started to just generally hate my appearance, despite being 100% passing and stuff. But fortunately things don't get that drastic and come crashing down all the time, so, yeah, again, doing alright self-esteem wise.
>>5681462
heh, funny story actually.
On the whole, I would say no, not really, but this one bitch did manage to work out that I was trans because I said I needed to go to the doctor for an injection. Now, there's obviously many things you could get an injection for, and even cisguys with low levels might get the same injection, right? But she managed to work out I was trans, probably because I was looking a bit fem and I swear that one time she deliberately gave me a hug from behind to like grope my chest and check (small tits, never needed to bind, but if you touch you'll obviously feel them).
>>5682053
(cont)
Anyway, a year later (shows you how much she actually cares, i.e. not at all just wanted to play the 'I'm such a supportive ally' card) she said like, I feel that you're not happy, I think you're faking it, I can tell you're not comfortable in your own skin. I was like lol wot, especially in regard to the last thing she said, because I didn't know she thought I was trans so I just found it to be a hilarious coincidence that she'd used such a phrase without knowing I was trans. So I asked her why she thought that and she was like I think you're an ftm because you mentioned getting an injection. I was mind-blown. What sort of a fucking normie could even make that connection? Seriously, an injection could be for a number of things.
Anyway, because she didn't actually give a fuck about me (and nor did she actually understand a single thing about me she'd just implied from whatever tumblr she'd learned about ftm problems that I was 'suffering'), I decided to lie to her. I told her I was actually a detransing Mtf. Told her I'd been on the E for a while without actually presenting as female but then I'd decided to detrans a while ago, and I could feel my masculinity coming back and that was the suffering, but I had to do it because I could never pass as a woman bla bla bla. Remembering the time she'd groped my tits I told her that obviously I'd got a bit of growth off E which I'd need to sort out, which, if she did purposefully do it like I suspect she did, she would now equate to being a one-time closet mtf, which would also make sense as why they were so small. Plus, I am nearly 6 foot, so that probably went in my favour too.
So yeah, tl;dr basically, that is the one time I've ever really been 'clocked' I guess because of what I'd said because I never thought a normie would be able to assume that from saying I needed an injection. Other than that, no problems, and then just a funny anecdote about being able to convince her I was an mtf, lol.
>>5682057
>I can tell you're not comfortable in your own skin
>a hilarious coincidence that she'd used such a phrase without knowing I was trans
Wait, is that a common phrase to use in relation to trans stuff? Because my mom has been saying that about me for years. If she suspected I was trans before I did, I'm gonna be freaked.
>>5682057
The people I work with think I'm mtf/was mtf. I got confronted by one and owned up to being trans and it got dropped from there, then a few weeks later got confronted again with "OK I have got to know if you plan on getting a vagina and boobs". I was completely dumbstruck and all I could do was shake my head no.
Surprisingly nothing is awkward between us but I'm pretty sure my murder victim risk just skyrocketed.
I dont want to own up to being ftm because I have a 'male' position at this job and my boss and male coworkers are pretty vocal about not liking the girls anywhere aside from the office and cleaning.
>>5682093
Well, that's the general sort of experience I've had with the phrase, it's always been related to the whole 'trapped in the wrong body' thing. Perhaps she just suspected you had some sort of body issues, maybe not being trans? Could be related to that too, I guess.
>>5682109
>>5682109
They'll be disappointed once they don't see you in dresses and making more of an effort soon, anon
i've been transitioning for almost a year, 4 months on T, and still, like once a week I get SO relieved that I'm trans and that I know what's wrong with me and that I'm not broken
cheers, mates.
We're doing good.
>>5681490
oh god what
>>5682273
Now for the surgery tomake or break it
>>5675504
What stains?
>>5684198
from the blood of the periods
>>5681462
Yes it's shit
When I was younger and I would tell people I was transgender they would just assume I was born male, with a vagina
>I miss this
Oh lord I am so fucking hungry make it stop
I'm pretty desperate to lose some of my disgusting body fat (my thighs and ass make me look really feminine), but I also want to gain muscle, and I'm so fucking hungry all the time, I never know what to do
>>5684381
Are you on T anon? That makes losing fat/gaining muscle considerably easier
Also a genuinely well structured diet plan shouldn't leave you feeling hungry all the time...
>>5681461
Brandon/Brendon
Sounds like a fat gay theatre majors name to me. It's only kind of trans sounding
>>5684411
I don't think anyone should really worry about having a trans sounding name, since passing is mostly about physical aspects. Aiden etc is only a meme within the community. If in doubt just make sure it's plausible for a man of your age/ethnic background.
>>5681461
Find names from when you were actually born, Ayden.
>>5684403
Yeah, I'm on T, and I've been exercising a lot, but my diet is shit. I'm incapable of eating like a normal person. I've had "disordered eating" or full-blown anorexia all my life, and I have severe OCD and anxiety. Like Howard Hughes-tier neurotic status. Now that I'm finally trying to eat a normal amount, I can't bring myself to eat anything except the same three foods, over and over.
>>5684496
For normie names, visit https://www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames/state/index.html
>>5684502
That sounds fascinating and horrifying all at once. Are you miserable being like that or is it more like you couldn't imagine being any other way?
>>5684850
It's awful and embarrassing and I hate myself for it. It really restricts my life. I've tried so hard to change the way I am around food, but eventually, I just stopped fighting and went with it. Now, I live alone, and no one else can see my weird eating habits. I feel like one of the freaks on one of those trashy shows like "My Strange Obsession."
Anyone here have mtf girlfriends or friends? I wanna talk to this cute nerdy trans girl on Okcupid! but I'm pre-t and I'm afraid she won't like me for being ftm, even though she's supposedly pansexual. I don't know, whenever I have to come out as an ftm to someone, I'm afraid they won't like me like they did when they thought I was cis.
Any of you have tried a penis pump?
I'm getting mixed reviews, about if it increases the length or not.
>>5685357
dunno, but if someone really likes you its gonna like you ftm or not.
even if she regrets you, where is the loss? try it.
>>5685357
No, but I would love to find a qt MtF in my city once I'm further along in my transition and don't hate myself too much to interact with people IRL.
You should try talking to her. At worst, she might say something rude or not respond, but who knows? Go for it.
t. Hypocrite
>>5685357
Have both MTF friends and am dating an otherwise closeted MTF. Offline trans girls are far more reasonable people. If she flips out at you for it you're better off not being around her to begin with anyway. Better to find out someone's a hypocritical asshole early on.
tl;dr yeah go for it
>>5685419
Yes it definitely increases the length for a time but there is no permenant length increase.
>>5685492
with a time, you mean, a few hours?
>>5685314
Nah, you're not a freak anon. I'm sure some people would even find it endearing, aside from the fact that it worsens your quality of life. Is that something you've ever gone to therapy for or would even want to see a therapist for?
>tfw no qt ocd ftm bf
why even live
>>5681461
Probably Brandon is better, Branden is a weird spelling(at least in my area)
>>5685314
That sounds really shitty that you have to deal with all that. I feel for you, anon.
>>5685584
Ehh, I don't know about endearing. People stopped trying to fix me a while ago, after I'd gone through several therapists and been "fired" because they felt that they couldn't help me. Verdict: chronic case, into the trash it goes.
By the end of 2016, though, I've told myself that I have to get my shit together and start making steps toward a "normal diet." We'll see how that goes.
Also, a qt ocd ftm bf would probably drive you crazy after a while. I can't even put up with myself. I don't know how anyone else could.
>>5685640
It's okay, anon, it's my own damn fault. It's not like I have a valid reason for being so picky, like tons of food allergies or something. And wow, that is one sad cat.
>>5685911
>By the end of 2016, though, I've told myself that I have to get my shit together and start making steps toward a "normal diet." We'll see how that goes.
Well it seems like you at least have a pretty good mental outlook in that you know what you have to change and why just. That's a a good start, don't give up anon.
>>5674443
90% dom 10 % sub
>>5683176
an hero
>>5686166
holy fuck are you serious?
god dammit I really liked him
>>5686166
Did he really?
>>5686166
Don't joke, no way
>>5686166
No he's too chill for that shit
>>5685965
>>5686059
Thank you, I appreciate it!
>tfw nice people
thank god
What's the best or most exciting thing that's happened to you recently, ftmg?
>>5687252
uh, I bought a wii u pro controller.
>>5687252
I have a gallstone
hey faggots, what do you guys call your genitals? i have a girly dick, but people also call my butte hol a boipucci. so what do you guys call your actual boipucci? there has to be a nickname.
>>5687665
man cave
bonus hole
cockpit
vagina
>>5687705
>man cave
>bonus hole
>cockpit
i love these, wow. thanks. you guys seem so cool, i have no idea how trans men culture works.
do you guys every flaunt man caves like trans girls often flaunt girly tinklers? that's my last question, sorry. i have so many.
>tfw no ftm bf to cuddle with me and answer all of my dumb questions
Feelin really depressed and lonely lately. Wish I had friends or maybe a bf, but there's no point in looking when I don't pass.
I'm so ugly and abnormal looking. Literally look like a bearded lady when I grow my facial hair. I can't stand being around normal-looking, tall, or attractive people..
>>5687803
hey, get on your feet , don't talk like that.
are you sure anyway? it could be your own perception.
also, if it's true, maybe doing some workout may help
>>5687665
vagina when i have to be technical about it
genitals
hole
>>5687665
Junk
>>5687749
Different one here. Not sure what you mean by flaunting it?
Got some more though, lol
>manhole
>front hole
>mangina
and yeah, literal boypussy.
Actual non-joking terms though, I just call it vagina/genitals/other typical stuff.
>tfw am not that ftm bf
>>5687749
Flaunt? idk what that means but no. I try to pretend it's not there.
>>5687671
Getting it taken out soon, which is good. I've asked if they can keep it for me, because I want to see what this asshole thing looks like.
>>5685594
Didn't catch this my last reply.
Yeah, the "e" spelling is my own idea because that makes it a near-anagram of my birth name, with only one letter changed. It wasn't meant to be snowflaky.
gay guy here, you guys are qts
>>5688371
thanks dude. you guys as well
>>5688348
Eh, Branden is pretty normal. I've known one Brandon and one Branden, both were cisguys. I don't think it makes much of a difference.
>>5687671
>excited about getting job
>going to have to spend the next two days transcribing interviews of nearly unintelligible britbongs
>mfw
I did this to myself.
>>5688299
Unfortunately they probably won't let you keep it, because it's considered "medical waste," but you might be able to take pictures. I had a teacher who got her gallbladder removed and they let her photograph it on her phone afterwords. She had a giant ball of gallstones that had stuck together. It's so weird to me that the human body produces these things. Good luck with your surgery. Hope it goes well.
>>5688957
*afterwards
Bring up my own gender and identity crises and my therapist keeps bringing up sexuality. Not really related in this case but, whatever, I'll go along with it.
Meanwhile:
>mfw new binder
I can breathe! God, maybe now my ribs will stop fucking killing me. And it binds and fits much better than my old one. Feels good, boys.
Picking up gay guys is legit retardedly easy. I failed at picking up girls for months, set tinder to "both," and literally had a guy in my room within a week.
>>5687252
>best
I've been working on improving parts of my life that aren't where I need them to be; I got some books I really like so far; saw a cute dude where it was one of those times where it genuinely brightens your day
>"exciting"
(hey, the other guy got a gallstone, no one said this part had to be good)
visited my dad/siblings recently
he literally tried to roofie me and later "subtly" felt my ass when I was leaving (leaving to gtfo of there) :^)
great damn day
:^)))) :-||||
>>5687803
I'll be your internet buddy and love you for ever and compliment you.
>>5688957
How do they even pick people when it comes to phone based interview recordings? I'm kind of curious.
>>5688984
Does he know you have a vagina?
Remember to always use condoms
>>5690119
Considering the use of the past tense, without some ninja level tricks i'm pretty sure this guy knew.
This whole gay guys won't date anything without a penis thing seems more memey than real. While i'm sure there's some guys like that out there, I don't think it's the majority.
>>5689020
I have no real ability to understand this in any sense. If this is actually happening, it's fucked, why were you there in the first place/how did you restrain yourself from busting in faces and whaling on people with a chair.
4 months on T and I found my first chin hair today, pretty pumped. Getting /fit/ really helps with shit dudes. Take it easy
>>5689020
holy fuck that's disgusting, i'm sorry anon
are you planning on keeping in contact? from your wording it doesnt sound like a first time thing
I mentioned in a previous thread that my dad is "supportive but awkward" since I came out.
Now it seems he just dismisses and ignores anything related to my steps toward transitioning. I need his help to get started with this since I can't drive and don't have control of my health insurance yet, but the more he does this the worse I feel about the whole thing. I'm not sure what to do without feeling like a madman.
idk if you guys would be interested in this kind of stuff, but i came across some sociological studies on trans relationships, specifically trans male ones...thoughts?
https://www.dropbox.com/s/f1w60z2ez6pwjth/cis%20women%20and%20trans%20man%20families.pdf?dl=0
https://www.dropbox.com/s/v0lpxigtfz1zm8p/cis%20women%20of%20trans%20male%20partners%20housework.pdf?dl=0
https://www.dropbox.com/s/p7ne9qwj3beog45/cis%20women%20and%20trans%20men%20south%20africa.pdf?dl=0
>>5692222
My "thoughts" are that I don't give a single iota of a shit about straight people, even trans straight people, and that it is extremely frustrating to see yet more evidence of how both in academia and in popular culture gay trans men might as well be chopped liver.
Not that I'm really surprised considering how long it took for gay cis men to be given even a seat at the kiddie table when it comes to sociology, but it's hard to remember to remain patient every time I'm assumed to be straight because I'm trans, or every time I'm met with a blank stare from someone who didn't even know it was possible to be both gay and trans.
/pointless whining
>>5692291
stop crying straight girl
>>5692392
Don't be rude.
reply from earlier, I was away.
>>5691882
>are you planning on keeping in contact? from your wording it doesnt sound like a first time thing
Actually, it was a first time thing.
I don't live with my dad (obviously). Because he's a huge asshole in general in life, I rarely speak to him and ignore calls, etc. But he's NEVER done anything like this, just been a jerk/general bad person in a totally non-sexual way.
But yeah, explanation/context: over very recent short amount of time, he's been acting weirder in messages to me, one message he said some creepy shit some months ago.
I was like "fuck this" and didn't talk to him for a while, as per my usual method.
Well, like, I care about seeing my siblings and shit obviously, so I decided to go over the weekend, and just avoid his usual annoying bullshit while I was there.
Because he never did anything like this before, I didn't expect this, that he would essentially be trying to get me to get drunk and/or high with him repeatedly throughout the day (which I had to reject) with obvious creepy intentions each time.
I just kept rejecting it so I could hang out with my other pham.
Finally at the end of the day I was like "fuck this" and bailed out rather than staying over the night (FOR OBVIOUS REASONS). And I already wrote what he did right when we were saying goodbye.
>>5690695
It was actually happening. I hate it and wouldn't want to believe it either if I were you cause it's so fucked up, okay, but it did. I just avoided his advances of this shit every time so I could spend the day with my other relatives.
(cont)
>>5692766
(last part)
>>5690695 (cont)
But you can't exactly hit someone with a chair/bust in faces when you're casually walking around in mixed company and he's pushing the issue of getting you drunk and shit. Trust me, I would have loved to throw shit and hit him with a chair like you said, but there wasn't opportunity.
Plus, even if I had decided to do that, one sibling is a little kid and would have been freaking out and crying. Not an option!
I just got my ass out of there and left.
Soooo, yeah. Hell no. I'm going back to what I used to do before and just not talk to him 95% of the time and keep shit limited to phone calls and like, giving christmas gifts/cards and whatever. Fuck that. This visit was me trying to give him a chance to not be an asshole, and spend some time with the pham, and instead he ramped it up to a new, uncharted level of asshole (sexualized, didn't used to be). No more chances, I guess - bye.
Now I just feel fucked up about the whole thing and basically just posted about it briefly earlier to get it off my chest.
I didn't expect to make this long a post about it or anything, I only explained because two people asked. Sorry for the longpost or whatever, scroll if you don't like it.
So, thanks for listening I guess famiglia.
>>5687252
I went outside in the snowstorm
>>5688983
Tell him they are unrelated? You pay him so you can talk about what you want to, ye know.
What brand of binder did ye buy?
>>5692797
That's horrible anon. I'm sorry your dad a shit. Definitely the right move to pull away.
>>5692766
>>5692797
Fuck that's shitty and uncomfortable.
One of my brothers had a brief stint of being overly touchy and always remarking about my looks to the point of just flat out hitting on me. It got so uncomfortable for everyone that my mom actually had to talk to him and tell him to knock that shit off. I can't imagine anything more than that, your dad is a fucking weird ass.
Do your siblings live with him? I feel bad for them, I hope he doesn't try that shit with them.
>>5690686
>This whole gay guys won't date anything without a penis thing seems more memey than real. While i'm sure there's some guys like that out there, I don't think it's the majority.
As long as you got da booty I don't care myself and in the regard transguys probably have a better chance of getting my attention.
>>5693155
My siblings don't live with him, there's stepmom/divorce household kind of situations there. The one who spends the most time at his place is my baby sister, who splits time with him and her mom. Naturally that concerns me hell of a lot. Though he didn't start this shit with me until I was an adult, recently, so maybe he genuinely would never try anything with a little kid. If he ever did in future I would rain down hell and try everything to put a stop to that, for sure, honestly.
Someone has been making a lot of ftm threads recently...
Does the ftmg skype group still exist?
I thought an ftmg kik group would be cool but nobody actually uses that app except for teenagers I guess.
>>5690686
>This whole gay guys won't date anything without a penis thing seems more memey than real. While i'm sure there's some guys like that out there, I don't think it's the majority.
Yeah, if you're looking for a gay top maybe.
>no bottom is gonna want a dude without a dick
>>5692821
>go outside
HA
>>5694708
>no bottom is gonna want a dude without a dick
Iktf. Ftm top (mostly top-leaning, anyway) here, too.
For what it's worth, I saw a guy in /soc/ yesterday who's gay, has an ftm boyfriend, and they use a strapon, and welp, they're together and it does happen. It surprised me, but yeah. While rare, it's probably less unlikely than we'd assume during "fml" moments.
>>5694708
I feel like in most large cities you are going to have way more bottoms than tops. It varies but it's certainly seemed that if you mention you're a top and you're not hella ugly you have Sudden Interest in pretty much every gay dating scene i've ever seen. I really don't think that if you're good looking/not autistic as fuck, most guys would care that your dick is plastic.
And I feel like maybe you're just kind of prefiltering the retards out of your dating pool with that criteria anyway?
>>5692862
I won't let the discussion get off-base, but I'm don't know what sort of impression I've made so far. Yeesh.
I got a gc2b after someone in this gen was saying how good they were. So much nicer than my old Peecock one. But, man, I am rediscovering lung capacity I haven't used in years so that's gonna take a bit of retraining.
>>5695290
How do you retrain your lungs to expand to that capacity again after so much time? I'm in a similar situation and my breathing is kind of fucked.
>>5695436
I dunno, I'm sort of keeping my breathing a conscious action when I can - deep inhale and hold it for a spell. But then my heart starts thudding and it's a little unnerving. Probably not helped by the recent pains in my chest/ribs/back/whatever that make it quite uncomfortable.
>>5695454
We should probably both see a doc about this pham.
I've already been intending to....
>>5695487
Aw, but I just went to the doctor on Friday!
>>5695454
>>5695487
This is what any good doctor should say "oh god what were you doing
Why were you doing it
Jesus Christ here is the number of my preferred physio I'm writing a recommendation he will give you breathing exercises and torso rehabilitation
If it feels worse or crackling noises go to hospital
Now I have to check to see if your ribs are broken or bent
Becoming a GP 0/10, why did I do this
;_;"
>>5695509
Come on, it can't be that bad...
>>5695526
Not the guy you're replying to, but...2bh...
Look up ftm binding injuries, anon. Other transguys have had this, and made their statements about it. It's not just dramatic exaggeration.
>tfw thirsty for dick but don't want to get AIDS
i'm scared. Why are there no resources for this kinda thing for gay ftms?
>>5695696
I wonder what the statistics are for transpeople being HIV+ or newly infected?
Seems like straight/bi mtfs and gay/bi ftms are most at risk.
>>5695526
Binding is dangerous. Binders designed to not be bindable too tightly and stuff are good, and relatively safe, but most are not designed that well.
>>5695696
Try looking up information about transmission rates and safe sex for the sex acts you're actually interested in doing.
Unprotected receptive anal sex puts you at highest risk by far. Unprotected penetrative anal sex is next on the list. Everything else is several orders of magnitude less risky, and if you use condoms properly it's essentially zero.
If you're scared anon it's really not that hard to just use a fucking condom or get a prescription for PrEP.
>>5695967
>or get a prescription for PrEP.
thought that was designed for cis men only.
Also, isn't unprotected PIV sex just as risky if you're fucking a potentially HIV+ guy? How can you figure out if your fling is positive or not?
>>5695993
>thought that was designed for cis men only.
Hmmm I'm actually not sure.
>Also, isn't unprotected PIV sex just as risky if you're fucking a potentially HIV+ guy?
No. Look up the numbers. Anal sex is more risky because (I believe) it causes microtears in the soft tissue lining your bootyhole, which accelerate infection.
>How can you figure out if your fling is positive or not?
You can't. That's why you use condoms.
>>5696024
if a dirty guy shoots up his poz load into your womb, YOU ARE FUCKED
Hi boys, mtf here, how do I find a qt trans bf who will wrap me up in his arms and make me feel safe and give me headpats?
>>5696051
You shouldn't be sharing fluids with anyone except someone you trust, who practices safe sex and does STD panels on a regular (six month or yearly) basis. Especially gay men, where AIDS is more prevalent than the general population.
That said, anal sex has a higher rate of infection than other kinds of sex because of the permeability of certain mucus membranes.
But don't let me stop you sperging up the thread with fear ranting about wombs or whatever, though.
The actual answer to HIV/AIDS/other STDs is practice safe fucking. Don't share your goddamn fluids with people, don't let them share their fluids with you, unless you trust them to be STD-free. And get tested if you think something might have happened, because a lot of these things are best treated early.
>>5696141
dating sites?
or in a lgbt rally or lgbt friendly places
>>5696141
im a maddy and i got an amazing ftm bf from shitposting in mtfg
love of my life??
>>5693146
We got like 5 inches, rolled around in the snow with my s/o and friend, went hiking in the woods and fell into snow piles many times. It was quite fluffy.
>>5697800
Wow this is fucked up
I LIKE MEN
>>5670141
>Any ideas for new editions?
I've got one. I thought about it some time ago. We should do FtMg: /Random Board/ Edition. Besides regular trans issues topics and questions in survey should be connected to that chosen board. We have over 60 of them, so it would last for a long time.
Do you like this idea, /ftmg/? At least some interesting topics to talk about.
>>5698004
I like it. /lgbt/ isn't my home board so mixing other topics in would be p cool.
>>5698084
Mine neither. I think we miss a lot talking only about trans issues, we are pretty regular guys after all.
>>5697978
d.i.s.o.w.n.e.d
wellllll I guess I ended up in the "omg it's snowing" cabal again
looks like you can actually build with this snow though, unlike the two feet of powdery nonsense we got a few weeks ago
>>5698004
Yeah, good idea.
how many of y'all use voice chat in games? what do you do when someone asks if you're a girl?
i bought a game with voice chat today, but i don't think i'm ever going to touch that option. too risky.
Y'all I'm finally realizing how much being socialized as a girl fucked me up for the rest of my life in terms of socializing...
I'm relatively stealth at university and I realize that I can't do certain things as a guy that I could do as a "girl" without being creepy. Ugh.
>>5700141
Try the men's room?
>>5700172
wow thanks I hadn't thought of that
>>5700244
I'll give myself a slap.
I feel fucked by my socialization as well, but it manifests more in ways to be and ways to react that I never learnt. But I can't think of any particular things I can't do any more. How do you mean?
>>5700278
I think in particular it's interacting with girls who are friends. I have always been a fairly affectionate person, and I'm finding that there is a much stronger line between what is and is not acceptable in terms of platonic verbal and physical affection from guys to girls. I'm sorry I can't think of a specific example right now.
>>5700301
Not him, but damn I'm glad I'm not even remotely affectionate. Sounds like it'd just be a pain in the ass.
Hey it's the guy who was asking for haircut advice a few gens ago
I'm really happy with how my hair looks but really in the end it's my fucking babyface that's impeding any chance of me passing
I plan on coming out soon but like fuck it's so nervewracking even when I have nothing to worry about
(I'll post pics if someone wants to see my haircut)
>>5700367
Are you overweight at all? Losing weight can REALLY help with the contouring of your face. It definitely helped me out.
>>5700379
A few pounds away from being overweight, been meaning to start doing somethings like lifting weights (my mom says we have some around the house but hasn't bothered to find them for me)
>>5700420
Just focus on losing some weight, man. being chubby isn't going to help your round/babyface any. Even if you're not on hormones, losing weight is always helpful and will help with other parts of your body too.
>>5670476
>tfw you're a sub transboy and want a Dom fem
What's your fetishes
>>5700301
Are you gay? If you're gay you're given a pass most of the time. If not, sux 2 b u.
>>5700461
What about if we're bisexual?
>>5700301
Now that you mention it I do know the feeling to some extent. As I've crawled out of the uncanny valley of gender I've been noticing that divide. I restrain myself more.
Man, in so many contexts I feel like a baby socially, and I'm scared of coming across like some Vincent Adultman of manhood.
>>5700461
I'm pretty openly bi
>>5700501
Yup. That's EXACTLY how I feel.
>>5700530
>>5700481
Sorry bi doesn't count. It's okay for gay guys to do things like compliment a girl's clothing, hug them, touch them, kiss them on the cheeks, etc, because everyone knows that it's platonic and the guy isn't trying to be creepy. It's the potential for sexual attraction that makes it unacceptable socially. So if you're attracted to women, then no, you can't really get away with that stuff without coming across as creepy.
Tho I mean if your friends are okay with it then feel free, but everyone else who sees you doing that kind of stuff is going to assume you're gay.
tldr come join the fag club, it's great over here.
>>5700653
I compliment everybody's clothing and hug everybody (at least, the people I'm actually friends with), but physically, I don't go further. I'm also like. Charmingly ugly, if that makes sense. I'm nice and funny but there's no attraction from anyone, I don't think.
>>5700141
The context for so much shit changes. I'm still adjusting.
>start college
>email department of housing and res life b/c i'm trans and don't wanna live with girls
>get paired up with another trans guy
>neat.jpeg
>start emailing him
>he's a tumblr artist fag
>okay.jpeg
>start living with him last semester and he's annoying and kinda stupid but generally likable
>have a class with him this semester and realize he's probably retarded
>this morning he says "everything is pain" as he gets up to go to the bathroom
>he starts yelling at himself and berating himself loudly in the bathroom
>our entire hallway can probably hear him
>wtf.jpeg
>Come to the conclusion that my roommate is mentally disabled and even more mentally unstable than I am
at least I only have a few more months left...
>>5700866
Exactly. And, like, I don't feel like I have a specific person in my life I can go to to be like, "Is it socially acceptable for me to do this? What about this? But that's something that's become part of my personality so how do I play it off better?"
whatever i'll just be a hermit
I decided to come out to my grandma
She tried to say I wasn't trans because I collect "dollies" (anime figures)
What kind of fucking logic
>>5698004
Could make for some interesting conversation, at least. I'm keen.
>>5700653
Topkek naw. I'm good where I am, fag.
>>5700278
Hahaha I'm kind of awkward socially when it comes to talking to guys for some reason. I used to stand really close to guys when talking to them (like I do with my female friends) which I think made some of them really uncomfortable but I didn't notice I was doing it until a year ago or so.
tbqh I don't think having a "female socialization" put me behind at all I think I'd still be awkward as fuck if I was born and raised male tho.
>>5701539
I have an actual ball-jointed doll. Then again, he's a boy and I kind of live vicariously through him.
>>5702049
He wasn't hungover. This was at noon, he'd been awake for a while, and he doesn't believe in drinking because alcohol is a drug and all drugs are bad. Also, the last time I checked, people who are hungover don't yell loudly at themselves in a brightly lit echo chamber.
He actually has amazing artistic talent and I don't have a problem with that (I'm a fine arts major as well why would I hate art) , but he's a super social justicey, gay fanboy, special snowflake type that's so prevalent on that site
>mfw Costochondritis
Boring.
I'm in desperate need of a bf that looks like young Solid Snake to CQC me into submission (in bed) and whisper gun shit into my ear
biggu bossu/venom is acceptable
If I have androgynous, pretty, model-esque looks, will I still look andro when I transition, or will the masculine parts of my face/body just become more masculine and being andro won't turn into being handsome?
I have high cheekbones, small mouth, standard nose. I'm afraid of my nose getting huge on T. Also my lips are naturally super red, which I'm afraid will look weird. Never worn makeup, jewelery or women's clothing. Pretty small-chested, not sure if I'd qualify for keyhole but I'd be on the verge. I pass okay without T until I speak.
Also yes I am a piece of shit with no redeeming values except winning the genetic lottery for faces. If I get ugly when I transition I will have nothing going for me and I'm scared of being utterly unwanted and useless.
>>5704736
It's a bit of a gamble. Depends on your genes. But if you look good now you have a much better chance at looking good later. Obviously!
>>5704795
The men and women from my dad's side of the family are all super handsome and long-limbed but the men all have male-pattern baldness. The men from my mom's side of the family are stumpy potato-faced rednecks with luxurious heads of hair well into their sixties, but the women are attractive in a sensuous, doe-eyed hippie way.
I managed to end up with part-handsome, part doe-eyed hippie face, with half my body being long and parts of it being stumpy. Somehow it all kind of works out even though it could have been a disaster.
I'm scared of taking T and turning entirely into a balding saggy potato.
>>5700886
That sounds fucking hilarious
>>5704418
This is my first time on /lgbt/ and this is what I find, wonderful
>>5704962
please help me i need to get fucked by someones solid snake
What fetishes do you guys have? I recently discovered I have a tiny, hard-as-a-diamond boner for spandex exercise gear, especially bike shorts.
Who /sp/ here? I don't know a single FTM who I can talk about muh soccer with.
Now, in addition to feeling too warm most of the time and sweating excessively, I've started having my face get flushed and stay that way for long periods of time, several times a day. It's not very manly. It literally looks like I'm wearing blush. I haven't noticed it being triggered by anything. It just happens. It's happening now. I don't want to be "that guy who blushes all the time." Fuck.
Also, even though I knew "increased sex drive" is always listed as one of the effects of taking T, I didn't really anticipate going from 0 (no sexual attraction, no desire for intimacy, repulsion to actual sex, not even masturbating) to 100. This is the one reason why I'm glad I don't have a penis, so I don't have to deal with hiding random boners. But I'm fucked up now from spending so many years hating my femininity and rejecting my sexual role as a "woman." "Sexuality is bad" has been drilled into my head so hard that I feel guilty and dirty and wrong for even feeling horny, let alone doing something like masturbating or looking at porn. I have no desire for a partner, though, which is probably weird. It seems like more trouble than it's worth, and I'd rather just get myself off.
Masturbating always reminds me that I have disgusting genitals that I wish didn't exist, though. I'm really conflicted about this. It was a lot easier back when my libido was non-existent.
>tfw [DEGENERACY INTENSIFIES]
I don't know why I'm confessing to FTM General. I guess because I have no one IRL to talk to about these things, and I'd probably be too embarrassed to do so, even if I wanted to.
