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FtMg: Aggresion Edition
Old: >>5574433
Don't forget to sage and wait to make new threads until we're at bump limit on page 9-10.
Ancient map: https://www.zeemaps.com/edit/U0Hw9yNtqrJd-qzTdbUFMw
Some info (excuse the tumblr, it's truscum): http://helpfultransinfo.tumblr.com/tags/
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Google Hangout: TBA
>tfw a transtrender who mocked me and my ex for being trans years ago passes better than me and she's not even on t
>why live
i got jasper a cat tree and he seems pleased with it.
also i had to clean congealed blood and lymph fluid off my tongue this morning. they dont turn into scabs and crusts in the mouth because its moist, so you dont get the really satisfying picking sensation of crusties. its just kind of slimy instead.
anyone else here that isnt into the modern trans movement? like, hate brain sex theory, dont think people have a right to decide what pronouns should be used on them, dont think hormone therapy should be the first line of treatment for sex dysphoria... etc etc
>>5607739
So.. how many people think they know better than doctors with years of training, want to restrict/remove access to a proven treatment for a mental disease with an extremely high fatality rate, disagree with neuroscientists while having no scientific training of their own, disagree that people should have basic human freedoms like the right to decide on their own name?
Surprisingly, a lot of people. Humans are shit like that.
You want this board.
>>>/pol/
>>5607467
did they mock you for being trans? sometimes people who are trans or gay and in denial and hate that about themselves are shitty towards people who are openly whatever it is they hate about themselves... but them passing has nothing to do with you, and shouldn't make you feel shitty about yourself at all...
>>5607582
i've never had a cat who liked those, my cat (he's become more of a family pet now, he actually lived here before i did cuz of my s/o's mom being a cunt... long story) wasn't at all interested in his... he liked this collapsible cube tent though, it had a cat toy in the middle, and he'd push it around and play in it...
i just ordered gypsy some toys cuz her bday is feb 1st so she's getting a bird abacus, a foraging toy, and this cart thing with letter blocks...
that sounds like it must feel gross, my smiley never really got much of anything during the healing process, or at least nothing i noticed, i guess cuz it's such a thin piece of skin and then inside your mouth where it doesn't scab... is the swelling down significantly yet?
>>5607739
i don't see why it matters if someone chooses their pronouns, even if someone isn't trans (as in experiences dysphoria) i don't see calling them whatever they want as a bad thing... if someone wants that for whatever reason there's absolutely no reason to deny them that, it makes no difference really to anyone but them so why not respect that?
as for the brain shit... i'm not sure what you mean, it is a matter of the way people's brains are wired... it's not something that's social or can be fixed just by denying someone treatment... hrt and surgery are the only treatments that provide a level of relief (and doctors agree on that) so why would anyone be against someone getting proper treatment for their illness? do you think there's any other issues someone might have where proper medical treatment isn't ok?
in all honesty i don't even see anything wrong with someone just choosing to go on hormones and get surgery cuz they want to (i just only think it should be covered by insurance if it's an actual medical issue) cuz it's not really up to me or anyone else to tell someone how to live or what they need to look like... if it makes someone happy and doesn't hurt anyone else (and other people having strong opinions and feelings about someone's physical appearance or pronouns doesn't count as "hurting" anyone) why give a shit?
>>5607863
eh, its still pretty swollen but its nowhere near as painful now. i'd be surprised if it wasnt swollen given how much you use your tongue.
I was staring down at myself in displeasure while showering this morning when I realised something. Since puberty, I've had poor body image but for the longest time, I'd assumed that I just thought myself fat and ugly like everyone else did. Never really believed that though and I couldn't pinpoint what I actually hated. That was probably dysphoria I couldn't make sense of...
>>5607871
yeah now that you mention it i suppose the swelling probably wouldn't go down that quick considering... do you have replacement jewelry for when it does or are you going back to the shop to switch it out? i can't stand leaving jewelry that's meant to allow for swelling in longer than necessary... when my monroe was first pierced after the swelling went down the bar was too long and actually got caught under my teeth while i was eating... it got pulled about halfway into the hole, and i had to push it back out... bled like crazy... it fucking sucked, it's also the reason why it's the only oral piercing i had left... i actually lost it at one point, but when it healed the visible hole from it didn't close right so i had my s/o repierce it (when he worked at the tattoo shop as an artist he helped the piercer out often and learned how to do some piercings + we had sterile clamps and needles etc from his job)
i imagine when it's your tongue though the longer jewelry probably sucks more after all the swelling is gone
>>5607879
yeah it probably was... a lot of people don't realize the difference between normal insecurity (or even extreme insecurity that isn't dysphoria) and dysphoria, so it's harder to figure it out especially when you're younger...
So, Im out of T and decided not to transition. Still have a dysphoria and my voice is manly af so wish me luck.
Maybe if I can work around my feels I can make it bros.
>try to eat a tiny scrap of bread with butter on while soup is heating up
>die inside from the pain
>>5607890
i had it pierced on saturday.
>>5607895
the bar change was included in the price so i just have to go back after the swelling has gone down and any bruising has healed. according to other people who have tongue piercings, the bar change to a (much) shorter bar is almost heavenly.
>>5607907
It pisses me off that I'd been misidentifying this whole thing for so long. But I couldn't tell what was normal and what wasn't! Argh.
>tfw can't go back and warn younger self to avoid 8 years of bullshit
>>5607928
Ouch. I heal insanely fast(4-10x, literal wolverine speed), but I also have immune system issues where I can't even drink due to my body identifying it as a poison and losing it's complete shit, so I wonder if piercing would be better for me than most folks, or worse.
>>5607960
i have fragile skin and slow wound healing (thanks ehlers danlos syndrome you piece of shit) and i manage fine. i think it would be a case of trying it but being prepared to take it out if shit starts to go south and being certain what you have in it is 100% implant grade (not surgical grade)
i dont know about the immune side of it outside of the fact bodies do generally identify it as a bad thing and get rid of and try for a while (thus the lymph fluid, swelling and redness).
>>5607968
Well, I have some kind of hyperimmune system. So if it's an immune system reaction, and not just ye old normal woundhealing stuff, good chances my one would be hyper in some fashion. Which would likely suck.
>>5607927
ive done it, so def. i believe in you anon!
>>5607928
i bet, i've seen the difference in bar sizes and the piercing one looks uncomfortable as fuck... it's cool that it was included in the price, most shops i've been to don't do that
>>5607943
yeah i get that... at least you know enough to know how to move forward now though, that's about the best you can get...
besides don't you know the rules of time travel? you can't interact with yourself, that could lead to all kinds of disasters, or you can but you'd still end up here right now... it only ever goes two ways in movies...
>>5607973
you're putting a foreign object through a wound, and forcing your body to heal around it... so immune reactions are common, and it'd probably be a bad idea if that's case for you... especially cuz with a piercing and shit like infection you're actually supposed to leave the jewelry in while you treat the infection
i imagine you probably couldn't get tattoos either (and if you do never attempt to use red or brown ink, a lot of people have issues with both and if you're pre-disposed to problems that's practically asking for it... some inks like mom's have more natural ingredients, but from what i know some of the colours in that brand work like shit)
>>5608042
I fucking hate time travel fiction because it always gets super complicated with bullshit rules. But I can just imagine how much easier it could have been if 13 year old me found a note saying "you don't like your body and don't know why, you don't like your name but can't come up with a better one, you straight up prayed to become a boy - PUT IT TOGETHER, KID."
>>5608079
lol yeah i could've used one of those letters too... but in my case it wouldn't have made a difference... catholic family
time travel fiction: Palimpsest, by Charles Stross. Check that one out then get back to me.
Metallic implants in my flesh: Yeah, it would probably go all kinds of wrong. But maybe it would be amazing and fine. I mean, my utter immunity to infection has to be good for /something/.
>>5608342
i'm curious, but i hate committing to reading anything without an idea of the writing style first otherwise i'd just buy it... what other books do you like?
there's only one way to find out i suppose... i'm guessing your parents didn't pierce your ears when you were a kid...
>>5608447
rothfuss, peter f hamilton, other stross stuff, stieg larsson, pratchett, abercrombie, jonathan strange and mr norrell, I like a lot of sci fi and fantasy if it sells me on the world.
Glasshouse and Iron Sunrise by Stross are probably required reading for anyone interested in futurism. Glasshouse is probably specifically something ftms should read.
>>5608476
i've actually never read anything by any of those authors, i don't tend to read sci fi or fantasy actually, i'm just open to reading whatever, but i don't tend to gravitate towards either genre... particularly fantasy
>>5608596
If you don't tend to read sci fi, how have you read any 'time travel' stories at all?
>>5608608
well i was talking about movies initially, but it's not like i've never read a sci fi book...
>>5608700
+ when it comes to sci fi i've enjoyed kurt vonnegut , robert heinlein , orson scott card, william gibson, neal stephenson, douglas adams, h g wells, and philip k dick... like i said, i can enjoy some writers within the genre, but yeah...
>>5608700
Movies are inherently shorter than books, and usually less complex. Time travel fiction is relatively rare, The Time Machine is the only well known one and it was written a long, long time ago.
For a more interesting take on time travel, I suggest grabbing Palimpsest.
>>5608755
idk, takes me about the same amount of time to get through a movie as it does most books... so... yeah...
i'm picky about writing styles though, which is why i was curious about your taste... if i'm not drawn in by the writing style then i can't get into a book
i'd say the one exception to that was the obscene bird of night which i really enjoyed, even though the writing was a little convoluted (i imagine part of that was due to the fact that it was translated though so i cut it some slack) but that book had some fucked up shit in it, and came together well in the end... it's surrealistic fiction though not sci fi
>>5607863
>did they mock you for being trans? sometimes people who are trans or gay and in denial and hate that about themselves are shitty towards people who are openly whatever it is they hate about themselves... but them passing has nothing to do with you, and shouldn't make you feel shitty about yourself at all...
They purposely misgendered my boyfriend and I, said that they were transphobic because they had trans friends
Dated some genderqueer person afterwards and constantly posted stuff about how cute their s/o looked when being forced to present feminine at their house and said she liked her s/o better "as a girl"
When they broke up she starting saying she was trans and has been on/off about it for like a year now and constantly changing what the fuck her identity is
>I'm ftm
>Nevermind I'm cis
>I'm genderfluid
>Nevermind I'm cis
>I'm a demiboy
>Nevermind I'm genderfluid
>I'm ftm
I know about the people who mock others in denial stage, she's not one of them, she's just an asshole
>>5609040
honestly yeah, definitely an asshole... but that's all some serious identity issue shit going on... but don't let a fucked up asshole make you feel like shit...
>>5609063
>>5609040
+ honestly, just disconnect and stop bothering with that shit, no one needs that in their life... sounds like you kept them around for way too fucking long to begin with
they're clearly fucked anyway, don't know themselves, insecure etc anyway... and no matter how well they pass it doesn't change all that shittiness and confusion so fuck 'em
>>5609126
oh that sucks... i imagine not very close friends though if they're fine with that level of disrespect towards you, that doesn't mean don't hang out with them or anything... just an observation
i hope you just respect whatever pronouns they're going by whenever in front of people you both know though... cuz yeah... people will latch onto that as you being a dick...
>>5609193
Yeah, they're not close friends, but we're in the same cosplay circles and such
I don't use her name and pronouns though considering she doesn't do the same for me
Why should I respect her when she doesn't do the same for me? I really don't care for being a bigger person or what not, but she rarely comes up in conversation anyway so it's not like I have too much to worry about
I do have a few mutual friends who give me heads ups if she's going to a con or a meetup or whatever and I know my closest pals detest her as much as me
>>5609214
honestly? cuz being petty doesn't do shit for you... and it's pointless, do whatever you want, but really it isn't about them or what they've done, it's about how your behaviour reflects on you... you have mutual friends, who get to see the way you both act, if you wanna put yourself on that same level feel free, but sometimes being the bigger person makes you feel a lot better...
Anyone else here feel like cross-dressing sometimes HELPS dysphoria?
I sometimes enjoy putting on a "girl costume", a wig and makeup and all that jazz for a while, half because I enjoy makeup and dress-up in general, and how soothing it is to take it all off as soon as I get bored.
I might not be able to just take my boobs off, but removing a heavily padded bra and seeing how flat I really am in comparison is a mild consolation prize.
Like somehow dressing up as a girl and then taking it off draws a distinct line between Being A Girl and my normal, default appearance of Not Being A Girl.
Maybe it'll stop once I get on HRT and the dysphoria gets easier.
>>5609620
Nah, but pretending I'm a trap help eases my dysphoria occasionally
FTMs are always severely lacking cute FTMs
why
>>5609720
we ugly
>>5609620
Reminds me of the last cosplay I did where I wore a skirt (with shorts underneath cos let's not get crazy) and wasn't binding (a no-go in public without strategic layering). It was weird at first but then I settled that I was playing a character, not myself.
Going back to dirty hobo mode after that did feel good.
>>5609780
Is there no people you inspire to look like or other FTMs you think are good looking? Would at least bring some much needed inspiration to this place tbqh.
>>5609792
I don't get what you mean.
An ugly face is an ugly face and there's nothing you can do about it. No amount of inspiration is going to make my face stop looking like a gummy mess.
>>5609799
Like inspiration. Whether it's other straight men you want to look like, or other actual ftms.. do you really not have any images you save and work towards it?
Well I don't know about your personal situation, but there's a lot you can do to your face to alter it even without surgery - takes a lot of time and effort though so wish you the best.
>>5609807
>there's a lot you can do to your face to alter it even without surgery - takes a lot of time and effort though so wish you the best.
I'm listening.
/fit/ here.
I dunno anything about what you guys are going through, but I just wanna give you all a tip.
Chew bubblegum while working out. You'll get a manlier jaw. Stay away from gum with aspartame or other artificial sweetners, not because they're bad for growth but they're just unhealthy in general.
>>5609815
>>5609807
>come to think of it, i don't know any either
>check most popular posts on tumblr's ftm tag
>prepare for the worst
>huh there's actually some qts here
>would bang, would bang, would not bang, w-
>what the fuck is this
>>5609868
don't go into tumblr it's garbage in there.
I haven't found any fashion inspiration that I'd like more than the men's clothes in Harry Potter films. I know exactly how fucking stupid that sounds but I couldn't focus on the plot for the last 3 movies because I kept getting distracted by a really cool pin stripe robe thing or some shit.
>>5609720
i think my s/o is cute as fuck... i don't think i'm anything special, but i've had plenty of people tell me otherwise... and i've seen plenty of transguys i thought were cute, not like there's one specific look every transguy has
>>5609620
idk my overcompensation phase made my dysphoria worse, and i can't even imagine doing that shit now... i think coming to terms with being trans helped the way i see myself, and i'm just not into cross dressing... i don't think it'd make me feel more dysphoric at this point, more just like... it'd be like a weird joke only i'd get so meh...
>still have T
>no syringes left
>haven't managed to get a hold of my doctor yet
>missed a dose
I fucked up.
Shit.
Godammit.
Brain is officially blowing this out of proportion now, but still.
S h i t .
>>5610545
Can't the pharmacy give you an emergency fill?
How late/often is your dose?
>>5610569
Weekly, so it's about... three days late now. I kinda turned it into an anxious bullshit thing with my medical insurance about to change up, so I've handled it poorly.
Do pharmacies do emergency fills? I am laughably bad at dealing with medical anything. Everything I have checked says I need to have doctor authorization to refill my scrip for syringes.
Googling for my state, thanks for giving me an idea to check.
>>5610545
where do you live? in my state you can buy 5 syringes and needles at any pharmacy without a prescription.
If boys IRL were like boys in Anime I would be gay to be honest. But there's no cute, pure boys IRL like there is in Anime.
Is it insurance-related airing of grievances time? I switched to a different health insurance (small, private company) at the start of 2016 and the coverage looked really good. They filled my prescription for T with no apparent issues at the pharmacy. Now, with one (weekly) dose left, they tell me that they only cover testosterone for hypogonadism and they refused the prior authorization request my doctor sent in. The appeals process could take a month or more. The prescription they filled that I thought went through with no problems was just a "courtesy" to me so I could ~find a different medication to treat my condition~ or stop taking it. Cool.
It looks like my doctor can get T cheap enough that I can afford to just pay for it out of pocket (thankfully it's generic and not one of those meds that costs like $900/month without insurance or something), but I'm pissed off about this on principle. I didn't fully realize that small insurance companies could get around the laws that generally apply now re: health insurance and exclude coverage for conditions/medications/procedures.
>>5610545
>>5610603
I've been able to get a 3-day supply of medications from my pharmacy before in an "emergency" (when I couldn't get in contact with my provider for them to authorize a refill or whatever). I don't know if it's a universal policy. I feel bad...my pharmacy just has me buy the syringes and needles and they're like 85 cents each. No prescription. I hope you're able to get what you need soon and that your insurance issues go smoothly.
>>5610719
Real life will hardly ever be like your animes, sorry to say...
>>5610719
>Cute, pure boys
>Anime
Choose one.
>>5608476
>rothfuss
>pratchet
No
White male scum reporting in to save you from that shit, i had to save my current bf from it too.
>>5610719
>tfw japanese mangos will never be real unless you build it ;__;
Whelp. Time to get back to building that AI I guess.
>>5610719
transition to become a cute 2d boy irl
>>5607879
It's funny, I was saying basically the same thing in the last ftm gen. I didn't realize my hatred of my body was tied to dysphoria until I lost weight around 16 or 17.
Say what you will about the fat acceptance movement, but if it had come about a few years earlier, I might have saved myself a lot of pain and confusion.
I have my name change hearing tomorrow. Wish me luck, m8s! If all goes well, my life will be significantly less awkward from here on out.
I've also been passing a lot more lately (after almost a year since coming out). For once I feel like my life is really looking up.
>>5610852
Good luck anon
>>5610690
Texas.
I tried to get just needles in another pharmacy (I was shown to measure and inject with different needles, but my pharmacy only carried syringe+needle combos and didn't give me extra) and was turned away.
>>5610738
Yeah, it looks like there's an emergency provision like that here. That's what I'm gonna try tomorrow if I don't have any luck getting my doctor on the line.
>>5610926
Wait... I also live in Texas, and I was told by my doctor that you could buy them over-the-counter. I just moved here and haven't had to do it yet, but I'm pretty sure my doctor would know. Does it vary by county or something?
>>5610809
>save me
..from reading books about magic and other worlds and shit? They're not even really the same genre - one's humour, the other's like the modern lotr.
>>5610719
>>5610768
>>5610742
I've never really understood what people mean when they say 'pure'. Does it mean.. innocent? Or uninterested in sex? Or interested in sex, but like, repressed, so you have to unrepress them and get your jollies out of that or something. I actually can't parse it. Because all those things exist, but people say 'pure' and don't seem to mean any of them.
>>5610545
I missed last week's shot cause I thought a had run out of t. Turn out I had some all along, I hate myself for not checking all my vials.
I get needles and syringes with out a prescription here would send you some if you need any.
>>5608089
i couldve used a letter saying "watch out for tumblr cliques, also gender isnt a spectrum lmao"
>>5608181
theres almost always some paradox that once i discover it, ruins my suspension of disbelief and stops me from enjoying the plot, no matter how entertaining or well thought out it is. which is a shame
>>5609709
hah, i did that shit too. it was fun
>>5609815
a good haircut can do wonders
>>5611144
Innocent and unspoiled by the world. Optimistic with a sense of adventure and no concept of cynacism
>finally managed to fight myself a time to a trans clinic
>need papers of my former medical history
>was a minor during previous attempt, trusted mom to handle them
>can't fucking find shit, mom insists they're "around here somewhere"
>call the mental ward for ask for new ones
>"you got the wrong number, let me switch you to place A"
>"Hi I got switched over from place B-"
>"You got the wrong number, I'm going to switch you to place A."
>"But-"
>"Hello place A."
>"I need my papers-"
>"You need to call place C. Their phone closed t 14:45."
>It's fucking 15:01
>Finally call place C next morning
>"Hello I need this lil info"
>"We don't tell you none on the phone."
>"k then what."
>"Send us a letter (you gotta scan it if you e-mail) so we have your signature."
>My handwriting is fucking unintelligible
>I need to have this shit in place by the 3rd of february
Current mood: SCREAMS.
>>5612177
Yeah see.. I my qt boyfriends more jaded.
In fact I find most people annoyingly like what you're describing, all fresh-faced and puppyish. It wearies me.
>>5612196
Ring up trans clinic. Tell them exactly what you just typed here, maybe less screaming. They will likely be able to directly request the documents/info from place C on their own - or alternately waive your need to have them.
Signature doesn't need to be legible. Type up something, print it, sign it, scan it/photograph it. Alternatively, write a fake letter in paint, sign it with your mouse. They literally do not care, they just need to have your signature in their files so they can claim no wrongdoing.
>>5612235
I like pure boys because they fuel my need to protect them and feel like I'm wanted.
>>5612259
See, protecting and nurturing completely trashed whores is generally my preference. Fresh faced 'pure' whatever don't need protecting, they need to go out into the world and make mistakes and learn things.
Also, what people in offices say is rarely absolute things. Things can often be bent, worked around, etc. Communicating clearly to them what is going on/what problems you are having fulfilling what they've requested will nearly always, in my experience, lead to some kind of workaround or fix. Sometimes you have to go talk to someone else in the office, though, as you might have run into the local asshole or idiot.
>>5612259
Being a broken bird has it's charms too if you don't have too much baggage and don't have destructive tendencies like lying and cheating.
>>5612282
>How do I find a bf.
Talk to guys and see which ones might have an interest with you
As for a good bf? I'm not sure
I'm not sure, every relationship I've ever been in has been toxic and bad for my mental health. I've been out of the dating game for years by choice
>>5612287
>talk to guys
What guys?
95% of the world population is straight.
>>5612293
I'm a guy, you're talking to me.
Also I'm not sure about that number, I think way more than 5% is at least a little bi.
I also think that similar people tend to find each other if they're willing to put themselves out there. As someone with anxiety I understand that's not always something you can just do but if you can manage to I think you'll find the kind of people you're looking for.
>>5612302
dude
I live in Scandinavia
Talking to strangers is fucking RUDE.
>>5612293
this is why there are various gay events/meetups
and also why gays have all the signaling, so they can spot each other in the crowds of straight people
are you in some like drought area where the only outlet is grindr, and there's no gay social or interest groups at all
>>5612282
The workaround in this case is signing a piece of paper and then sending them a picture of the signed bit of paper, that you've already asked them about etc. The point is there's always a way to do these things, and if there isn't, people will try to make one for you.
>>5612313
Talking to strangers is rude in most parts of the world. If you're not charming/socially skilled enough to overcome that (Which most people aren't), that's why there's all kinds of interest groups and social groups and bars and clubs and friends of friends and so on. A huge amount of human social activity is aimed at finding and procuring a mate.
>>5612313
Ah, yes that would be a problem. I'm American but come from mostly Swedes and know how that culture can be first hand.
>>5612314
>all the signaling
Can you explain me what you mean like I'm autistic, because I literally am.
Yes, I'm in a gay drought area. I'll need to travel for hours to the nearest city with a gay scene, and I don't think I'm willing to invest that kind of time and money on not finding love.
>>5612315
I'm not saying I'm not gonna do that, I'm just saying I'm going to complain about it every step of the way.
>>5612320
I have nothing to work with except for grindr, and 90% of the dudes messaging me are american fake profiles.
>>5612333
>Can you explain me what you mean like I'm autistic, because I literally am.
I think they're referring to body language. Gay guys tend to have a certain type of body language like flitting their hands/arms or positing their hips in certain ways while talking.
I'm probably mildly autistic too because I'm having a hard time explaining it but I can recognize it.
>>5612333
'Flaming' etc started out as a way for gays to basically say 'i'm gay' without straight people realizing it, so they could get laid without getting bashed. It's since become a cultural thing, but people don't need to be flamingly gay to still have bits and pieces of it, like hand gestures, tone of voice, looking at dudes in a sexual way, posing, certain kinds of laughter, certain sayings. They also dress differently, from slightly differently to extremely differently, in specific ways. Sometimes there's specific signalling, like an earring in a specific ear, or wearing a pink shirt, or wearing only a thong and standing on a float in mardi gras.
If you can't read signalling, then you just gotta travel. Bf > travel time, just read a book or listen to music. You can turn a hookup into a relationship, but that takes social skills and also kinda sounds like not what you're looking for.
Also jump on gaygen and ask the guys there if anyone there knows anyone in your area who can give you some how-to. Local knowledge is invaluable, ask any historical general.
>>5612363
>without straight people realizing it
well call me a straight girl becasue I've literally never seen that shit outside of american TV.
I don't have money to travel, and I've fucked enough men to know a hookup doesn't turn into a relationship.
I want a boyfriend and to be loved and someone to make coffee for. Not one more dude that takes "I don't care what you do to me at this point" as a "yes".
>>5612384
>Not one more dude that takes "I don't care what you do to me at this point" as a "yes".
Ouch
People are complicated, I'm in a somewhat similar situation though I live in the US it should be easier I can only seem to find hookup opportunities which I'm not interested in at this point in my life.
For the purposes of just getting off I'd rather stay home and jack off.
>>5612390
I'm too dysphoric to masturbate. That, or I'm just really, really, really, really bad at it and I don't have any more money to invest in high-tech sex toys that my entire family will hear than I have to travelling to another continent after dick.
I just want a nice fat boy to cuddle.
>>5612384
Most gay guys aren't flaming. And flaming gay guys tend to stick to the more left-leaning areas of major cities. Because while they don't get beaten to death (as much) anymore, people still don't like them.
Being able to spot the signaling is tough enough that it's referred to as 'gaydar' and some people can't do it at all. It's subtle stuff. If you can't spot the gay people in your local area and befriend them and eventually qt bf, then going to meetup events is probably your best/only avenue.
And some types of hookups, probably not the kind you're referring to, can be turned into relationships with care and finesse. But most people on hookup apps are on them because they are bad at doing relationships. Requires a lot of social skill on the other party to make it work. Which you're saying you don't have, which is perfectly fine. Knowing your limitations is the first step to overcoming them.
>I want a boyfriend and to be loved and someone to make coffee for.
And there are lots and lots of guys out there that want that, too. Straight dating isn't exactly a pile of easy, either. Finding someone you're compatible with who is also into you is hard. But if you don't have any money or ability to hitch, and you don't have the social skills to locate gay guys in your local community or find someone not awful grindr and successfully initiate an actual relationship with them, i'm not really sure where you can go from there.
>>5612394
Sorry, I didn't really consider that being a problem. I'm a filthy cis scum invading the general so my perspective can be very limited at times.
>>5612394
every city in the first world has gay meetup events, gay clubs, gay bars, often even like 'gay nerd' meetup events and shit
what is this 'continents' crap
>>5609868
i once did that to my face in middle school and sent a picture of it to a girl
>>5612410
But was she into it
>>5612396
>Straight dating isn't exactly a pile of easy, either.
I know. I tried that. The biggest difference in transitioning was that while the amount of men who are interesting to me remained constant, the amount of men interested in me plummeted.
Just how far am I supposed to travel?
The problem is I hate sex. I have a bad habit of assuming that someone who fucked me owes me anything at all in return for enduring it, which only leaves me resenting them because they don't see it the same way, and that's no way to start a relationship.
>>5612401
I just don't understand what I do wrong.
you just take a vibrator???? and push it against the clit??? and that's supposed to feel good????
>>5612406
Finland isn't first world, then.
>>5612419
I hear finland isn't as good as it's neighbours in terms of lgbt stuff, but my guess is that you're just not doing research. Even 2nd world countries have places for gays to meet up, it's just more on the down low, and there's more furtive married men looking for hookups by volume.
>>5612417
I guess so?
Have you gotten off with another person? You could try to replicate that to start.
My previous bf is ftm and sex was a bit difficult, he could get off using toys but had difficulty reaching orgasm during sex even if he enjoyed it.
>>5612419
<3 u finn-pai
i've always wanted to live there
>>5612417
Well it honestly sounds like you have a big pile of problems. Trying to find some guy who is okay with all those things is not impossible, but sounds pretty impossible given you seem not to have good skills for searching for one, and no ability to go to the places where one might exist.
I suggest focusing on getting rid of these negative attitudes you have, so the people you can date without fucking it up is a bigger list.
>>5612431
That sounds incredibly unpleasant.
>>5612432
I'm going to go to these gay bars in Helsinki once I have the spoons for it. Right now, I'm stuck in paper war with the trans clinic and trying to find a job and living with my family and my sister's very loud mental illness.
>>5612431
Buddy, you're fucking ace. Want BF, want cuddles, don't like sex. Either due to physical plumbing issues or mental ones.
'Bars' generally means hookups, which means social skills required to make relationship happen. You want meetups, interest groups, coffee clubs, all that kind of stuff. They generally happen during the day.
>>5612444
Where do I FIND that?
is there some gay newsletter I'm not signed in for?
I'm scared of cis men in groups. Especially being left alone with them. Never been gangraped for real but I can't shake the feeling.
>>5612413
she laughed at me, then showed every body at the emo table at lunch
but she would always tell me 'i can't wait until you get your penis'
>>5612452
>I'm scared of cis men in groups. Especially being left alone with them.
Do you not spend much time around them? I'm just wondering if it's something you could be more comfortable with over time or if it's something you've tried to shake but can't.
>>5612462
No. Not at all, actually. I've never had male friends and I don't know how to function around men who don't want to fuck me. Not knowing what they want out of me makes me scared and uncomfortable.
>>5612462
I kind of remember this anon from earlier. As far as I understand, he lives in a misandrist family and has some screwed up ideas about guys.
>>5612452
They have facebook groups, sometimes websites, ads in like websites related to meetups, sometimes notices posted in gay bars, the biggest thing though is word of mouth. Aka knowing gay people in the area.
Ask gaygen for help. If that fails, go to a gay bar and ask the bartender for help. Ring up a lgbt group and ask them for info. Basically, do basic research.
>>5612454
I uh. I'm really not sure how to parse that. In a 'hey babe you'll be a hot man some day and on that day we will fuck' or like, as an insult.
>>5612471
Oh, ok.
I guess I have to.
Why does everything have to be such hard work? Why do I have to have paperwork and research and argue with doctors and look for newsletters and secret communities just to exist and maybe be loved.
other people get to exist for free.
>>5612477
Look nigga, love ain't easy. So take that 'poor me' crap and roll it up and put it in a box, cause it ain't doing you no good.
>>5612483
fuck you whining has never failed to help me in life.
It's making me feel better as we speak.
>>5612470
>>5612471
That's pretty understandable. I'm a cis male but was an androphobe for a long time probably because I only had female friends until I started involving myself in male dominated hobbies like gaming.
ymmv as a transman but exposure therapy can help especially if you're doing it in public areas with a bunch of people around you can easily remove yourself from if you start feeling too anxious.
Regardless though, you have to keep trying to put yourself out there and doing it regularly. Small doses are fine but consistency is key
Just had an ultrasound
>"eh, nothing the pill can't solve! It's nothing bad then!"
>pill
>womin mones
>nothing bad
>mfw
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA it's over for me folks
>>5612484
All it does is remove incentive to fix stuff, and make you resent the world. Neither of which helps you out, except for temporarily feeling better.
>>5612486
did you inquire as to alternate courses of treatment
>>5612493
I will when I talk to my doctor
But I'm pretty sure I'm fucked here. The only other option I see is surgery to remove a tiny cyst that will cost me an arm and a leg and whatnot.
Fuck me in the ass
>>5612484
Whining can be helpful to handle stress but once you're in a better place after whining you should really take your opportunity to move forward.
Not trying to tell you how to live your life, just speaking from experience on what helps me.
>>5612499
It's not like I'm NOT looking for a job and doing the paper fight and all.
>>5612530
You're right, I was probably being too judgemental. It's easy for me to spout advice about something I'm not having to deal with. I apologize
>>5612486
And I'm takin tribulus terrestris without lettin anyone know
fuck man
lord
what do
>>5607927
How long were you on t?
>>5612498
Ovarian cysts?
>>5612563
My mom has PCOS, has never taken birth control or anything for the cysts and they only swell sometimes. She was told that it was fine as long as there's no "sudden, severe abdominal or pelvic pain", which usually indicates a cyst has burst or is swollen.
+I have PCOS and took birth control and altered my emotions significantly, very bad anxiety during this time.. and dysphoria, probably because I naturally have higher than normal T levels.
>>5612544
Webmd disclaimer about the tribulus terrestris:
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration does regulate dietary supplements; however, it treats them like foods rather than medications. Unlike drug manufacturers, the makers of supplements don’t have to show their products are safe or effective before selling them on the market.
If you go through an N.D. or a herbal dispensary that should be fine, though. But you might not even be getting the right herb depending on who you're buying it from.
>>5610852
good luck...
>>5610809
are they shit authors?
>>5612141
when i was a teenager in spite of constantly feeling like i should've been, and wishing i was just born a guy i just figured it was just that i was insecure... the tumblr shit wasn't around then, and instead there wasn't much information about anyone being trans... especially not transguys, my only exposure was transgirls...
my family (except my dad) has become more open minded, but there was a lot of catholic bullshit that i grew up with where it just wasn't acceptable...
i didn't even tell my parents my s/o and i were together for the first couple of years of us dating cuz i was terrified, since he's a transguy so it's like... double gay, (only my brothers knew) and then i didn't come out about being trans 'til i was 24 to my mom (my brothers knew sooner, and i told my dad when i was 25, got a lecture about how he didn't accept me... or my relationship etc) for the same reason...
i don't even judge movies like that harshly to that extent usually... cuz i judge shit on how well it's filmed or how entertaining it is so accuracy doesn't necessarily bother me... they just usually fuck it up... i did find looper entertaining though
>>5612282
find a friend first... dating friends works out best in my experience
>>5612313
stop being terrified of being rude then and just go for it... i doubt you're the only one who's lonely there and wants to talk to someone or meet them
or go to classes, find a job, do shit that makes it hard to not end up talking to people + there's always online...
>>5612384
stop putting yourself in situations where you meet those kinds of people then
>>5612770
>>5612384
+ i'm gonna be honest with you though, my s/o and i have been together for a little over 11 years so far... and honestly, relationships aren't easy... they're a lot of work, and mutual love doesn't make them less work at points, sometimes it's more just the only reason you're both there and trying...
and no relationship is gonna make you feel fulfilled completely, to an extent that comes from within... all your issues won't just disappear cuz you found someone, some will, but others will replace them...
and in all honesty, you don't have a strong sense of self... and that's really important when you're with someone else
>>5612550
4 months
>>5612778
How do I get a strong sense of self?
I don't think I have a "self" at all.
Presenting girlmode, nothing would've made me happier than just having someone straight-up dictate me what to do, what to say, what to wear and who to be. Knowing that just not being a girl at all is an option, I still don't know what.
>>5612477
no one exists for free, everyone has problems, and love isn't 100% easy and neither are relationships... you have a really idealistic view of what a relationship is... i make my s/o coffee every morning to wake him up, and we sit in bed together to drink it and i absolutely love that part of the day, but there's also times where we've both seriously wanted to strangle each other... that's the other part of being with someone, so is feeling heartbroken sometimes...
>>5612823
I've been in a relationship before. I know what it's like to be happily getting drunk together and then you say something wrong and he starts yelling at you and you just cry and repeat the same 2 or 3 sentences over and over again because that's all you can say to defend yourself and you're too drunk to be doing this.
I know relationships aren't always nice or fun. I'd just like one where the good outweights the bad.
>>5612795
you spend some time reflecting, meditating, learning about yourself... and living for yourself... you develop interests and hobbies, you deal with your depression in constructive ways, you find things about yourself that are good that you like...
no one wants a puppet... well more like no one you'd actually want to be in a real relationship with wants a puppet... and being someone else's creation like that is really unhealthy and damaging...
in all honesty what you're doing right now is gonna help even if it doesn't feel like it currently... realizing you're trans and taking shit from there is a huge step from where you were... so is knowing the shit you don't want...
>>5612830
how long were you in a relationship? and that's not really what i meant... i've lived with my s/o for over a decade at this point there's shit you've probably never even thought of...
and if the good didn't outweigh the bad, you don't understand... and you talk as if finding someone else will fix you in all the ways you want to be fixed and that's a huge part of what i mean about you having an idealistic view of a relationship
>>5612833
I do have interests and hobbies. I know being a puppet is unhealthy and damaging, and it was just something I did while repressing dysphoria, which is unhealthy and damaging as well. Altogether I've spent eight years dealing with all this nonsense, I've never been more clear of who I am and what I want in my life.
>>5612839
I know nobody else will fix me. I know that's not how it works. I just think I might sleep better having someone warm next to me, and I'm seriously not asking for anything more.
>>5612839
>>5612830
+ and that's not me being harshly critical... i deal with depression and shit too, but it's more like... something i feel less often than i used to that i have better control over currently than i used to... and part of what i realized is at my most depressed i had really skewed ways of thinking about what life is supposed to be that were pretty damn idealistic, and a lot of depressed people do... depression is an illness to an extent, like i'll be honest i don't know that it ever goes away entirely and i doubt it does... but there's ways to manage it, and working on your perspective does help
>>5612844
and that's what i mean when i've said you've already made a lot of progress towards that... and that you can continue to improve from here... when i say you have a weak sense of self and that you need to overcome insecurity it's cuz you constantly complain and do shit like compare yourself to inanimate objects, down yourself, and talk like the only way you could ever have a night with anyone is if you get drunk and let them fuck you without actually knowing shit about who you are...
and yeah a warm body is nice, and probably would help to an extent... but i'm saying it's not the only thing you need, and honestly... i don't think you'll find it in a healthy way in your current state... i think you need to focus on you and give yourself time to exist and function as who you are before you go seeking anyone cuz that's the only way you'll find something meaningful... and like i said before try being friends with people first
>>5612855
+ it's one thing to discover shit about yourself, it's another to experience living in a way where that part of you expressed... and experience makes all the difference
>>5612623
Shit
I mean I'm not from US though, I don't know how it is in my country, but damn
>>5612563
yeah. Previously had multiple ones, but in this ultrasound they only saw one
>>5612623
I forgot to say, but I have a lot of pain though, in menstrual period or not. I mean shit Im already a fucking pansy with low tolerance for pain but it's really shit senpai. One time I gave birth to a clot the size of half my hand, no kidding. Kinda cool but still. Pretty painful.
And then I started to see a slight bump in my lower abs n i thought shit senpai I'm the next virgin mary and somehow got preggars.
(Ultrasound didn't find no jesus baby tho)
>>5612992
why do bad genitals happen to good people
>tfw you'll never tower over your boyfriend
it hurts
>>5613172
how tall are you?
>>5612623
They can burst and swell? My doctor didn't mention that when she said I wouldn't have to bother treating it...
>>5613172
Start bringing stepladders into the bedroom
>>5613424
yeah they can... and also twist your ovary/fallopian tubes... fun shit like that, i found out about that shit the time i got a surprise internal exam at the hospital... i was there for intestinal shit and they found a cyst during the ct scan... it was pure shit, didn't tell me what was going on or why the exam was being done just kinda wheeled me in all fucked up on morphine and were like "we're gonna stick this inside you now"
i have like... the worst hospital experiences every time i go to one
>>5613499
That's pretty fucked up, dude. It freaks me the hell out when medical professionals don't give me the full story and I've never had any exams or treatments I didn't agree to.
>>5613564
yeah internal organs suck
>>5613627
not even gonna lie i totally had a meltdown and cried like a bitch in the hallway afterward... no one noticed at least, but i was a mess for days... i thought i could maybe deal cuz my bottom dysphoria isn't too bad, but nope... nothing has ever made it worse than that experience
unrelated: my bro got out of court a little while ago his baby's mom has to stay in jersey, accept his offer of a room for her and my niece, or go to alabama but turn over her custody rights to my bro... which is fucking amazing, and it's cuz of the questions that chick i know had my bro answer
also unrelated: gypsy discovered she can fly up to and perch on my mom's painting in the living room... so she's been bringing food up there to eat and chill (pic related her with a cashew)
>>5612992
I'm sorry to hear about that, anon. My periods were pretty painful as well before I went on T, I would just dab until I couldn't feel anything. I recommend you find a gyno and ask them what to do/ pop skittles and see what happens. There is also birth control that is only progesterone, the mini pill I think it's called? And low dose estrogen one's. Good luck.
>>5613424
Only happens to some people, there's also different types of ovarian cysts... I wouldn't worry about it, anon.
Remember boys, the manliest thing you can do is spend all day watching Gachimuchi videos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpizP5X1Ry8
Hey frm gen. So, I finally got a referal to an endocrinologist and had my first appointment yesterday. I need to get bloodwork done this week, then my followup is next week to get my 'script. Only problem is, I haven't outed myself to my family or workplace yet (I just passed my probationary period 3 days ago and didn't want to give them a reason to get rid of me)
any tips on how to breach the topic? I'm not sure if I should tell them this irl or over text, email etc. but its gonna be pretty hard to hide it soon.
>>5614173
*ftm gen, my bad
>>5614173
Does your state offer protection based on gender identity? I've heard some courts will recognize trans discrimination as sex discrimination, but that's iffy.
Regardless, I would recommend telling your job in writing (probably via e-mail, since anything more formal might make it weirder), that way you have a record of it. You would be much more likely to have some legal recourse if you can prove that you told them on X day and they fired you on X + 1 day.
As for your parents... I don't really have good advice. I totally bombed that one myself. I'm pretty sure I told both of them that I "wanted hormone replacement therapy" and left it at that, without even mentioning the word "transgender." Needless to say, they were confused.
>>5614173
>>5615361
idk, i came out in person at work, to the HR director, and then separately to my boss. it kind of depends on the work environment i guess but for me it was a small company and would have been SUPER awkward to just email them...
also you might have more time than you think. i didn't come out at work until i was 7-8 months on T.
>>5615361
I'm in Canada, BC more specifically. I know that they can't discriminate over my "gender" but I'm not sure if that extends to being transgender, if you know what I mean. I will have it in writing somewhere though, thats smart. I'm just at a total loss about my parents. They're divorced so I'll have to tell them separately, I just can't find the right combination of timing and words.
>>5615383
I suppose thats a good point, I know nothing super duper obvious is gonna happen in a couple weeks time but I know either way, its gonna have to happen soonish. Suppose I can keep going in butch lesbian mode until they connect the dots
>>5615640
... they're widely considered some of the best fantasy authors in recent memory. Rothfuss is kept so busy doing speaking tours to crowds of tens of thousands of people he doesn't have time to write - Pratchett was knighted by the queen for services to fiction. They are both widely acclaimed authors who have sold millions of books. What is your basis for any of this? You just sound like a retard.
>>5615640
i'd have to read it to judge... never heard of rothfuss and with pratchett well...when i worked in a bookstore cafe as a barista i used to walk past the fantasy books while i was visiting my s/o to talk to him and the guys who worked that section... cuz there was this one guy who'd give us takashi miike movies and we'd talk about them and like deformities and shit... but anyway... i'd walk past the fantasy aisle and i'd look at his books and think "he's written too many they can't be any good" so i never read them
>>5615753
so... would you say twilight is a masterpiece cuz a lot of people like it?
>>5615870
Well, the books aren't about 'forbidden sex', which is generally what sells a lot of copies when the writing is awful. Also, the fans tend to be lit critics and shit, not 13 year old girls. Also i've read a lot in a lot of different genres and areas, and i'm pretty sure I can tell good writing from bad writing. Twilight is unreadable trash for anyone who likes books. Harry Potter is okay, but not as good as many people who have read nothing else will assert. Gibson's stylistic writing, rothfuss' setting-building and characters, pratchett's serious absurdity, stross' understanding of the future, these are all defining writers in those areas. They're the best at their thing and damn good in other areas too. This guy is coming off kinda creepy ('save' me from my own reading preferences? the fuck?) and has nothing except assertions. If you google these writers, you'll see a lot of other writers saying they are great, literary critics, etc. Meanwhile the people saying Twilight is great are the tumblrs of 13 year old girls and other 'young adult fiction' writers.
>>5615900
>>5615753
Genre literature is shit in general, this is coming from lit.
"Saving you" is a joke you dense motherfucker, it's recommending that you don't waste time on bad books. I'm not "saving" anyone from anything.
There are no struggles in any of rothfuss' work, just kvothe being the most retard mary sue of all time. Of course, it's all wrapped in fun prose.
Pratchett is just so god damn overrated, but maybe that's years of /lit/ speaking
>>5615940
>most retard
Time to kill myself
Sup yall,
Quick question:
If I look at myself in the mirror and HATE seeing my flabby meaty useless and strenghtless tighs along with my stupid fat ass does this mean I'm trans or could it also be a product of having been cat called earlier today and hating that I didn't do anything but ignore because it felt like anything I could try would be useless against horny teenagers treating me like a sex object?
Actual question. I tried not to think much of it untill now but now it's just eating me up inside.
>>5615954
That's not at all a stupid question.
While I always felt dysphoria about my chest, I hate my hips the most (probably because I have a small chest and wide hips). It's normal for cis women to dislike their wide hips, so it was difficult for me to tell if my issues were about gender or poor body image.
Here are some questions you might want to ask yourself:
- What is more important: for your legs to be thinner, or for them to be more masculine?
- Do you feel insecure about other parts of your body, even if they aren't considered "ugly" or "too fat"?
- Do you hate your place in society, or your actual sex characteristics?
They can be difficult questions to answer, but they might help. Good luck either way.
>>5615940
Suggestions? I need new shit to read.
>>5615992
Read "Stoner" by John Williams
Or if you want to stay a genre lit plebian "Use of Weapons" by Iain Banks
Welp, I got my rec letter today for hrt.
I'd be celebrating if I didn't have class tomorrow still thank god it's about damn time.
>>5616046
Congratulations, Anon!
In my opinion, that's the hardest part of transitioning - if only because it's easier to get through a process once you've made that first push.
>>5615979
I'm not fat to begin with (pic related if it helps, guitar for scale), may actually be considered skinny in comparison to most girls, but I'm still curvier than every guy.
Shit I should be in bed right now, but this whole trans stuff has been going on in my mind lately. Part of the reason I pay so much attention to it is because I have always been a tomboy growing up.
One time as a ten year old I was wearing hand-me-downs from my brother and my mom and cousin joked and laughed at how much I looked like a boy but the thing is that I actually really liked it. But then, maybe it's because I have always admired my brother, so looking like a boy was maybe a way of getting closer to being like him.
Then there's stuff like looking at my hips in the mirror and feel like they're strangely wide. No that it makes me look fat, sometimes I just don't like them.
And sometimes I can't help but think how angry/jealous I am of 15y.o boys who can easily look taller and stronger than me; impose respect and be heard with their deep voices.
But then, I'm reminded I went through some very rough patches at 12 years old when boys suddenly started to grow and I began feeling inferior. I was also bullied and saw my classmates be groped by said guys and felt helpless in not being able to help them as I was too week and tiny in comparison.
Man what a god damn fucking memory trip, kid me did not deserve going through that. It didn't help my dad wasn't really there and the only good male role model I had for a long time was my brother. Every other guy seemed like a villain and I didn't trust them.
And what felt worse was knowing I wasn't even fit for the role of hero, being such a weakling.
I don't know, sorry for rambling. I guess I've been irreversibly damaged and my views on men will be forever twisted no matter how forgiving I'll always try to be.
Point is, maybe it has to do with that, or not. I'll look into those questions you set up.
You got me stuff to think about.
So I'm a bi cisguy, but the person I'm talking to at the moment is ftm, just he isn't sure about transitioning due to the fear of being left alone, and he even said that one reason is he is afraid I won't like him anymore. I want him to feel comfortable around me, and I know that will take time, but do any of you have any recommendations for how I can help him be more comfortable about coming out? I don't want to seem like I'm pressuring him, but I want to be there to support him. Feels bad.
>>5616104
>Every other guy seemed like a villain and I didn't trust them.
>I've been irreversibly damaged and my views on men will be forever twisted no matter how forgiving I'll always try to be.
Same, same.
When you see enough sexual assault, it's kinda hard to trust cis dudes. My distrust also hindered coming out for quite some time.
Anyway, you could also try experimenting with gender presentation. See if you like looking more masculine, or even if you prefer being called a masculine name.
>>5617056
How well do you know him?
For starters, if you haven't already, make it clear to him that his assigned sex doesn't matter to you, and that you like him either way.
Coming out can take a toll on one's confidence at first. Personally, I had to give up being a cute girl for manlet-hood, and sometimes I still feel like a complete loser. Be prepared for him to want a lot of reassurance. However, if he does move forward with the transition, his self-esteem will probably improve pretty quickly.
>>5615954
>>5615979
i'm actually kind of happy with the front part of my thighs (which are muscular af) but i hate the back and inside which are where my body stores the fat and makes my thighs look decidedly feminine. that hasnt changed even though ive lost like 50 lbs, but im happy the front of my thighs look more defined. and my jeans are pretty good at keeping it all LOOKING tight.
>tfw you always play up your glorious meaty thighs ;) ;) ;)
>want to die remembering the wobbly girly fatty inside part
>>5613150
I'm not a good people tho
>>5613564
wha dat mouth do ;)
>>5613924
>pop skittles
wat
I don't want fucking titty skittles, man
Fuck
Even if it's low estrogen or low progesterone or whatever
Thanks tho
Can I still take tribulus terrestris with the pill? Whaddaya think ftmg? I'm not gonna ask my doctor this question, y'know.
>hey doc hypothetically speaking could one take tribulus terrestris and the pill at the same time? Like it's not like I'm asking a very specific question for myself haha nooo not at all
If they found out I'm selfmedding, I'd be locked up in a mental institution again
Fuck no
>>5617056
Are we talking on dating terms or...?
>>5615900
you know, none of that really means anything, taste is still subjective... critics liking something doesn't mean i won't think it sucks, and a lot of other people liking it doesn't mean much either... i don't base my opinions on books on critics' opinions or how many fans someone has, what those people like makes all the difference
and the "saving" thing wasn't really creepy... i think you're taking that wrong
i'd read a page of either one's writing to see if i'd read an entire book, but i really don't see me liking pratchett i've never heard of the author so i can't say anything either way...
>>5614146
lol unfortunately not a relief... the court stuff went in my bro's favour, but this chick left for alabama last night and told him he could have the baby tonight if he signed something saying he was giving her custody and getting it notarized with her (and some other weird shit about recording it) or she was going to drop the kid off with her family until friday to again try to force him to sign the same petition to allow her to leave the state and shit with the baby and all her custody rights intact (so sign a paper saying the thing he just took her to court for is now suddenly ok) and idk what her plan is from there cuz he's obviously not gonna sign that...
but basically, now he has to get in touch with the lawyer, probably go to jersey to get the court shit dealt with (this is all jersey court cuz that's where the mom lives), and then probably pick my niece up from her family... and hopefully it won't be some crazy shit where the cops get involved and whatnot...
>>5617675
"have the baby tonight" as in last night... my bad, i'm tired... woke up feeling sick as shit really early to get all my s/o's work stuff together, make him breakfast and coffee etc... so my brain is just... not functioning at all
>>5617539
On dating terms
>>5617241
And I have told him that I'd like him regardless of his assigned sex. Most of the time he presents as a female, but the one time he showed me him presenting as a guy, I told him that he was hot, and I really enjoyed the time together. He still thinks that subconsciously I'd want to leave him or something like that. That's understandable to think that, but I'm pretty damn sure I wouldn't. So I'm just trying to find a way to reassure him of that.
>>5618276
different things are reassuring for different people, the most you can do is be honest with him and just be there... if that's not good enough for him he might just be too insecure and not ready... just be there and be patient really, and well... i'd tell you to try to be understanding, but you're already doing there...
there's not much else unless he wants like a blood pact or some shit
>>5618485
doing that* nice... i should just go back to sleep or something
>>5617533
>tribulus terrestris
It's not a regulated substance so I don't think they will think you are self medding, you can just tell them you bought this shit at Wallgreens because you wanted better circulation... they sell it there.
Just tell them you thought it was a good addition to your daily multivitamin.
Please anon, be sure to talk to your doctor person about this supplement, though.
I googled it for you. I think there is a drug interaction between birth control and trib. Also
"The research indicated that the popular belief that tribulus increases levels of testosterone in the blood is not true." AND " Tribulus can lead to the growth of breasts in both men and women. There is some evidence this can increase the risk of breast cancer." So I would recommend to stop taking it and just wait until you can get on T.
Holy shit, you guys.
>out with coworker running some errands
>decide to grab a quick bite to eat
>literally not even remotely trying to pass as male
>one of the employee's calls me sir
>first time I've ever been sir'd in my life
>coworker just looks at her awkwardly then to me
>I'm completely thrown off and start stuttering because I don't know how to handle the situation
>feel completely elated afterward while coworker thinks it's hilarious
Feels fucking good, man.
Funny thing is she's the only coworker I'm not out to yet.
>>5618631
How can you be out to everyone at work except for one person?
>>5617412
I know and hate those thigh feels. My fatty upper thighs are the bane of my existence. And yes, I'm losing weight and exercising a ton. I guess I'll just have to wait and pray that T eventually changes my patterns of fat distribution, but I'm impatient.
>>5618912
>and pray that T eventually changes my patterns of fat distribution
It will for sure. Plus it's so much easier and funner to gain body muscle it's ridic I've been on t like a year now and I have giant biceps and thighs from my job which is basically light labor. I've only just started to exercise in my spare time cause I wanna get ripped.
The only thing is if you're trying to loose weight, t might make it a little harder because you'll get pretty intense food cravings but it's not that bad.
do any of you want to switch bodies with me
I have a penis and almost no boobs
u all type like girls
>>5619163
Gtfo like we'd want your nasty second hand penis
>>5619175
most of them are
>>5618912
Because I'm pre everything and haven't done Jack shit to transition as of yet. I've been telling everyone individually. I've avoided telling her because she's awful for gossiping and I don't want the whole city to know yet.
>>5619151
Yeah, I've only been on T for a month and I've gained a lot of muscle. Plus, I actually find myself wanting to exercise and enjoying it, something that never happened pre-T.
>>5619175
How do you figure that? I see a lot of different writing/typing styles in this thread. If you're not just trolling, I'm actually curious what you think makes someone "type like a girl" (aside from things like excessive use of emoticons/emojis and shit that's generally avoided and frowned upon on imageboards).
>>5619225
I do. Dick transplant when?
I want a dead guy peen.
>>5619670
Well for one, girls usually use punctuation and capitalization. It's not masculine to set the bar for your online communication higher than Xvid comments.
Tbh Just don't fucking type like it's ummmmmblr and you'll be golden.
>>5619687
Lol that sounds like the plot of a bad sci-fi/paranormal book. Man gets dick transplant from a dead guy and then it acts all crazy because the ghost of the dead guy is controlling the dick from the grave.
>>5618912
Because if someone's coming out, you don't fucking tell anyone. Basic LGBT etiquette, you keep their secret until they're cool with it being entirely out in the open. You do this also with any confidence someone brings you. This is basic human etiquette.
>>5619687
I dunno if i'd be okay with it, but I think a lot of guys would be comforted by the thought that while they might be dead, their peen is out fucking people nonetheless.
>>5619670
>genuinely responding to trolling retards
>2016
>>5615940
Heh, you're from /lit/, this explains a lot. Note that being an elitist faggot doesn't actually make you a good judge of writing quality, and attempting to lord over others because you like 'the classics' just confirms your absolutely zero sense of self-worth. Go back to worshiping american history fiction and hating anything original or interesting - barging into unrelated threads on unrelated boards to spread your cancer is completely unnecessary.
Who is your favorite FTM character in anything
>>5620115
>state that rothfuss writes boring books because nothing interesting happens that the protag doesn't literally magically solve because he's DA BESS
>no counter
>ad homs
>generalizations
>implying barging
This is retarded and unrelated to the thread, take the closing comment if you want it but no more posting on this shit.
[spoiler]I will give rothfuss that his females aren't all spineless bitches existing only to further the male characters' interests though.[/spoiler]
>>5620668
>unrelated to the thread
what are you even talking about? we talk about anything here
>>5620461
is this a trick question I literally don't know anything that has a ftm character in it except for a couple shitty movies
>>5619670
I actually have a non-troll answer for this. Women tend to use more "undefined" words such as "kind of," "a little," "sorta," etc. They also avoid statements that sound definitive. On the whole, the "feminine" writing style is less authoritative.
Ex: "I think you're being sort of rude." (feminine)
vs
"You're being rude." (masculine)
>>5619693
>It's not masculine to set the bar for your online communication higher than Xvid comments.
>Tbh Just don't fucking type like it's ummmmmblr and you'll be golden.
clearly u have never been to tumblr because almost everyone there types exactly like this and keymashing was a legitimate trend on there when I had one a few years back
Also
>desu
That's widely considered tumblr lingo, friendo.
>>5620793
>desu
Shit. I forgot about the word filters. I meant "t b h."
>>5620793
when you don't say "i think" in here prople flip their shit about how opinions aren't facts and shit... at least when i forget that's how shit goes...
>>5620819
That's true, but this board is a special case. When talking about sexuality and gender, very few statements are definitive facts.
Anyway, what I said is just some sweeping generalizations. Obviously everyone is different, and the context can change their typing style a lot.
>>5620874
i honestly don't care that much, i was just saying people can get weird here over statements that aren't preceded by "i think"
i honestly don't pay attention and haven't noticed any difference between either gender, that's probably due to not caring enough to look though
you might be right, fuck if i know
>>5620793
>friendo
Used widely on reddit. May have originated there. Accusing people of using 'tumblr words' (nooooo omg evil by association) while using a reddit term is irony in the highest measure.
Your simplifications of content analysis make me cringe. You can definitely conclude things about people here from their text, but I very much doubt with that level of understanding you are able to conclude anything even slightly of value.
If anything, many people here type in an overly masculine fashion compared to the rest of the board. And yes, you should be comparing it to the rest of the board - that's the context. Analysing things in a vacuum is just as bad as using simplistic analysis - and you're doing both.
>>5620988
probably not the highest measure...
>>5620115
Different person (not a /lit/fag) here - it's not an uncommon opinion to consider Rothfuss a hack and Kvothe an awful Gary Stu. Just because it's popular genre fiction doesn't mean it's good. I don't know Pratchett well at all, but I'll admit that I'm wary of any writer who pumps (or pumped--RIP, too soon, etc.) out "two books a year on average."
>>5620793
I always felt that if I didn't write like that, I'd come off as a huge bitch. I probably would have, at least to some people. I really hate that I learned to talk and write that way and I'm trying to unlearn it. For so many years, I couched my words in feminine timidity and deference. It took me starting T to even have the gall to talk to my own mother like I had a spine. Now I want to yell at women who bawww about being ignored or talked over or coming off as ineffectual when they express themselves so fucking ineffectually, but that anger really should be directed toward myself for continuing to fall back on some of those communicative tics. Especially when I'm nervous or put on the spot, I go back to peppering my speech with "I think"s and "kind of"s and following every statement with an "I don't know."
Sorry pals, I'm pretty high and really lonely and I'm rambling.
>>5620793
>I actually have a non-troll answer for this. Women tend to use more "undefined" words such as "kind of," "a little," "sorta," etc. They also avoid statements that sound definitive. On the whole, the "feminine" writing style is less authoritative.
Everyone out in southern California talks like that, guy or girl
>>5620988
>Accusing people of using 'tumblr words' (nooooo omg evil by association) while using a reddit term is irony in the highest measure.
Not really, since I admitted to having a tumblr before. And I'm no Internet linguist, but I would consider "friendo" in the same group of slang as "dramu" and "waifu" - English words written like they're in a Japanese accent, which I've seen all over the place. That said, I never use Reddit, so I could be wrong there.
Anyway, I'm not sure if you think I'm a different Anon or what, because half of your post seems like it's not directly related to what I said. The one you replied to was my first in this conversation.
I never said - nor did I even imply - that I think the people here type like women, or that I would judge someone for doing so.
>>5621335
>I always felt that if I didn't write like that, I'd come off as a huge bitch.
That's actually quite common. Society grooms AFAB people to communicate in the most spineless way possible.
Fun fact: I've always written in a rather terse and definitive manner, and when I was presenting as female, it made people uncomfortable. They always thought I was angry or unenthusiastic.
>>5621378
Yeah, and they get made fun of for it.
>>5620461
krem from dragon age inquisition
youtube video of the main character asking him about it if you don't intend to play the game: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mpRLIO_5fg
worth noting that you don't get to this conversation until about 2/3rds into the game. mostly he just talks about being a mercenary and drinking.
he's the only one that exists at all unless you count naoto shirogane from persona 4, the character you have to save from transitioning ('the surgery') or she dies of suicide because she'll never be a real man. If you get 100% with her she shows up in a girl uniform at the end of the game.
games-wise that's it. there are many cross-dressing females out there but you really have to stretch the imagination to count them as ftm. apparently some big villain from Destiny is vaguely implied to be ftm, and I've heard there's an allusion to an ftm buried in lore in an elder scrolls game somewhere.
manga/comics there are a bit more. most of them suck. wandering son is probably the best, but the main ftm from wandering son turns into a female model at the end of the series. there's an ftm in american virgin that doesn't get shit on, but the series has a weird end.
I used to make a mental note whenever I saw an ftm-ish character pop up in media, but now I don't really think about it. Krem was a nice surprise.
>>5621541
>he's the only one that exists at all unless you count naoto shirogane from persona 4, the character you have to save from transitioning ('the surgery') or she dies of suicide because she'll never be a real man. If you get 100% with her she shows up in a girl uniform at the end of the game.
Just
fuck this
>>5621557
that's how japan rolls. atlus is one of the few companies out there that will touch characters that are trans according to modern sensibilities, and they tend to have a fucked-up way of looking at them. the game catherine has some mtf examples of that, though she gets off easier than naoto.
pic is naoto, by the way. boymode.
>>5621573
Yeah, they do that a lot with queer characters too. They'll throw in all these hints that a character is attracted to someone of the same gender, and then they'll just brush it off and put them in a het romance. I completely dropped Ouran High School Host club for this when I was like 13.
Honestly, I prefer the Western philosophy of pretending queer people don't exist.
>>5620461
we were just talking about this anime in the last ftmgen but some people read utena from shoujo kakumei utena as ftm.
the only ftm characters i know about in western media are some dude from orphan black (idk i haven't seen it) and... uh... that's it really. idk it's a pretty sad list
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_transgender_characters_in_film_and_television
>>5621587
I actually do too. Sorry for internet tmi, but I attempted suicide after seeing Boys Don't Cry when I was pretty young without knowing what it was about or having heard of the brandon teena story.
ever since then I get anxious when trans/genderbent characters show up in stuff.
That's why Krem's characterization took me aback. They don't spell it out until you've already gotten to know him as a person. Nothing bad happens to him either, unless you make it happen, and when it does it's not because of gender stuff.
It's nice.
>>5621573
>still going on about Naoto
>2016
>not knowing trans people in Japan don't see Naoto as trans at all
sasuga anon
>>5620461
the closest thing to an FTM character i can think of is Oscar from Rose of Versailles. always meant to read more of that manga but the beginning is soooooo boooriinnnggg its just aristocrat drama
did get this great reaction image from it tho. mfw trying to follow all that shit
>>5619175
no shit sherlock
>>5615954
thats just how misogyny feels
>flabby meaty useless and strenghtless thighs
im sure your thighs are plenty useful, anon. people just dont really cherish them cause "strength" to most people is upper body stuff, even though thats way less useful than thigh, butt, and back strength.
>>5620461
Sam from Prince Of Cats ?_?
>>5621710
>Prince Of Cats
i dig this art style. what is this about? is it good? whats this Sam character like?
>>5621719
Read a long time ago, it's decent. It's a gay webcomic, I found it in the /wcg/ pastebin. The asian farmer guy's brother is trans, I think he's like 15. He's the third most important character, the comic touches on his school and home life a lot, friends at school and intertwined involvement with the main characters. The main plot beside gay romance and relationship trials is that the main character can talk to cats. Beside that, it's slice of life.
Avialae (another webcomic) is about a gay bird twink guy who suddenly grows wings. It's meant to symbolize the trans experience. http://avialaecomic.com/ 9/10
Haven't read this but heard of it : http://www.wolfmencomic.com/
ftmgen I have no one else to talk to about this but I just wanted to ramble to someone about how great it is to have sex with men as a man. nothing can really describe how awesome gay sex is. the sameness of your bodies when you look down between you, kissing someone with a beard when you have one too, their strong legs winding with yours, wrestling each other and actually being able to put up a fight, the hair on your stomachs rubbing together... etc.
I was just thinking about this because I was reading some slash fanfic for the first time in a really long time and it just doesn't do it for me anymore. I used to be really into it but now it pales in comparison to the real thing and doesn't come close to capturing all the little stuff about what makes it enjoyable. I feel bad for all the yaoi fangirls who will never get to experience this t b h.
tl;dr: I'm a huge faggot
>>5621970
I want this and I'm straight
What is happening!!
I just need sex
>>5622081
>I'm straight
This is a weird question, but have any of you been "hosted" by someone while you transitioned? I'm interested in that.... I get muh autismbux and whatnot, and I want to cut a lot of people out of my life and get to a trans-friendly environment, but I don't know where to go to ask for such a thing, as the only place I know of is CL and fuck that noise.
I pay like 650$ a month for my apartment, and I can only afford rent and utilities, so I'm assuming paying rent to a person would be a lot less.... And I guess I wouldn't mind taking it up the butt and sucking dick to be able to live how I want to.
>>5621541
I liked Krem's concept more than I like the actual execution. But I really disliked Weeke's writing for the whole game, so that could be it too.
Wasn't there meant to be a FTM character in the new Assassin's Creed game?
>>5622110
http://assassinscreed.wikia.com/wiki/Ned_Wynert
>>5618626
Haha.
Yep, I'm fucked.
>>5620461
Probably Tooru from TGRE
>>5622092
But I am.
If I don't want to transiton unless I'm my desired look, am I just someone who can't distinguish between sexual attraction and gender identity or is this a real thing?
>>5622330
Wot.
>>5621787
>Its decent
Its a gay snoozefast with some cheap drama, even art style is lethargic
>>5620793
>used to have a tumblr
Explains why you're so triggered.
An hero immediately.
