Old >>5583226
Why aren't you lifting to become husbando mode /gg/?
>>5585441
I'm going to marry Steve Raider!
>>5585441
Because husbando mode doesn't require lifting, silly.
which trip do you want to be your bf/husbando
Cos Id rather be ridin
>>5585448
is this a meme? do people not find this actually disgusting?
>be a uni cafe yesterday
>sitting, taking to stranger at table next to mine while I have my noon coffee
>literal bear/daddy mode/ American sniper mode walks up to me
>beard+barrel chested,+fit, looks like he could sumo dead lift a dying star
>"can I sit here? "
>me: "Of course, nice your meet ya."
>bonertwitch.webm
So we talked for a while. He was an army veteran country boy. Very attractive. He kept telling me i seemed super confident and like a really cool person. Then part way I learned he had an "x-girlfriend" when I was getting to know him.
Ohhh well. He's really nice though. I look forward to seeing him again.
>>5585441
I can't lift, I'm at work.
>>5585457
Ohh, is anon a catch? Ex girlfriend would still allow him to be bi.. Did you really have a boner while talking to him? : p
>>5585460
>Did you really have a boner while talking to him? : p
After I while a while I willed it away, but yeah totally.
>>5585441
>patchy beard
absolutely disgusting
>>5585460
>Ohh, is anon a catch?
Forgot to answer your other question. I jacked off to him when I woke up this morning if that means anything.
>>5585448
not a qt
>>5585450
Slav.
>>5585450
niq
>>5585551
I wouldn't really consider him a tru twink, but I guess people have different ideas of what falls into that category.
Be nice.
>>5585539
trip on, me
>>5585539
so what happened to niq? he didn't quit just because someone posted his nudes did he?
>>5585582
that's pretty close to it
>>5585582
he's a tranny now just like everyone else who leaves
>>5585473
I refered to you actually, the handsome guy seems to think you're a catch
>>5585582
he fell in love with 5652 and now they are living the life of bacha bazi together.
>>5585595
Pfft, trip on 5652.
>>5585441
Don't husbandos prefer smaller guys with a little muscle definition? I want to be the smaller one anyway.
>>5585448
Gross, he looks like a 12 year old
>>5585450
Annskellington :3c
>>5585593
whats the more serious part?
>>5585601
been a while since you saw a 12 year old eh?
tfw when bf
Seriously, why haven't I tried this sooner? Fellow NEET anons, stop trying to be comfy, it'll only make you worse. Get out of your comfort zone, get a job, get on grindr, find a bf.
stayed up way too late last night
>>5585613
>that feel when when
>getting a bf
>from grindr
Enjoy your aids.
>>5585613
>Get out of your comfort zone, get a job, get on grindr, find a bf.
i cannot deal with the responsibilities of adult life
i just wanna live somewhere in the mountains of mongolia, far from the pressures of capitalist society
>>5585600
>5'7
>skinny but with muscle potential from
If I lift, what are my prospects?
>>5585617
Bully.
>>5585615
Slut.
>>5585632
Quitter.
>>5585613
>get on grindr, find a bf.
this is way too unrealistic, even for a memelord
>>5585613
i just want a boyfriend who expects absolutely nothing from me, and who will understand when i dont answer his calls for a week
>>5585634
it's true tho
also, i just learned how to use smart filters in Photoshop CC, should I take the time to get comfortable with them or should I just get on with my work this morning
Also, should I have more eggs for breakfast
>tfw no kyle hyde bf
>>5585599
uhm no
>>5585605
Doxed
>>5585635
Maybe it's because I live near a college, but there're tons of inexperienced guys looking for relationships near me.
>>5585642
Are you a skellyfriend or bulking?
>>5585655
>using grindr for relationships
same, I also use mayo as lube tbqh
>>5585633
For finding a husbando-mode guy?
>>5585660
It's possible. Found some really cool guys on manroulette of all places. It's almost too easy to make them fall in love with me but I'm too much of an insecure bitch to take things to the next level. Maybe when I get on accutane. And lose more body fat. And gain more muscle.
>>5585657
I'm trying to get leaner and SWOLER
except just a touch
like if my fitness was a smart filter it'd be like a single upscroll on just one of the values
>>5585652
>Doxed
Lame excuse. Everyone should be required to use their real identity online.
>>5585667
simmer down stalin
>>5585613
I don't need a bf when I have pic related
>>5585666
You should probably eat those extra eggs then. Unless you've got a lot of body fat, I think most people underestimate how much extra food you have to eat to actually build even a touch of muscle.
>>5585613
I have a job and I'm on grindr, I just hate all men and I'm ugly.
>>5585661
Yes, I'd like that a lot.
I just realized I have a male foot fetish
welp, down in the rabbit hole of faggotry we go
Matching crockery
>>5585689
post feet
>>5585681
mhm yes
n'aw, i don't have a lot of body fat, i'm smol
>>5585681
When I was lifting, eating more was easily the hardest part about what I was trying to do. It's tough to go from 5'7 140 to trying to consume 2750+ calories a day.
>>5585695
>5'7 140
Dass me, mang
>>5585691
I bet you are British.
how do i get cute boy at work to notice me!?!
i want to talk to him but all my attempts have failed
i did make him laugh
but how do i get it across i want his seed in my infertile lands?
>>5585701
You'd be wrong
>>5585692
They're really ugly ;_;
being a dancer for 12 years didn't help
>>5585691
is there any pepper on those eggs tbqh
>>5585709
No I salt them before they're fully fried
>>5585695
>tfw 5 inches taller and still the same weight
>>5585687
I mean, if you're at all cute you should have no problem. I don't know, man, I've only had sex with girls.
>>5585695
>5'7 140
>tfw 6' 170
>literally undesirable by all groups
>>5585716
>I'm proud of you anon.
Thanks dad
>>5585706
post your grubby feet bb
>>5585716
ill take him out on my bike
cause fuck the social security people
>>5585726
>5' 7''.
Hello master race brother
>>5585706
post feet for more feet
>>5585726
I'm pretty much the same way but i'm like three years into recovery and I've got people to keep me afloat.
>>5585724
I doubt it.
>>5585738
I'm gonna burst your floaties.
>>5585706
We'll be the judge of that :^).
>>5585726
Just dirty bulk and cut down
its what i did and while it may not have been the best way to bulk up, i found it much easier to eat like a pizza a day than carefully eating a certain extra amount of lean meat or whatevwr
>>5585765
I tried that and seeing the fat accumulate on my body sent me into a relapse where I ate >1000 calories a day for a month. Trying that superslow lifetime leanbulk now. Not optimal, but I can see myself sticking with it for a lifetime.
>>5585734
I thought we were manlet jesters who never learn? I'm cool with my height 'cause it means most guys are taller. Just sucks with girls, since most of them want taller guys than them, too.
>tfw your ex keeps humble bragging about his amazing boyfriend
>asking your advice for rings
No, fuck you. I'm struggling to maintain a relationship for longer than a week, imagine the envy and anger I feel when you wanna throw down a proposition.
>tfw hungover and bf is home and i can't masturbate like i usually do which is 20 times a day when i'm hungover.
>>5585793
control yourself nerd
>>5585814
Nah. I prefer my anger
Why are all the fags here such bitter queens
>tfw when flirting with a cute geek boy and he wants us to meet for a beer
>>5585823
Awesome, man! How did you start flirting? What did he say? What does he look like?
>>5585823
Aww that's nice anon hope you have a great time.
>tfw qt is hinting that he wants me to ask him out
>>5585613
A "Boyfriend" is just a silly male who thinks an unmarried man should be interested in not banging other guys and paying for everything. What idiot would ever sign up for that?
Getting a boyfriend is easy. It's getting rid of him that's hard. Have you ever told your boyfriend to fuck off, get lost, shut up or go away? He won't leave! Not even "please leave" works. It's remarkable.
For al the things a "boyfriend" expects from a MAN to make him "happy", tell your boyfriend to stop talking for 5 minutes -just because it would make you happy- and he will behave lke you treated him badly. Not talking takes less energy than shaving. It takes less effort than talking. Yet a man in a "relationship" will refuse to do it.
Not talking is asking NOTHING from him. If a man isn't even prepared to do NOTHING to please his man, then he is simply not marriageable or worth being in a relationship with.
"Boyfriends" actually try to use "the silent treatment" which is the worst possible way to tell a man you're mad at him. That's like HEAVEN to a man. When a man pulls "the silent treatment", just think about what he thinks you did "wrong"... and then do it as often as fucking possible.
Finding a man who will repeatedly nag, annoy and tell you that you're wrong all the time is one of the easiest things in the world.
Can't get a boyfriend? PLEASE. Who the fuck would ever want one.
Another child died today Garfield. He was terrified. In that moment I wished I could merge with his fear and slip into a saccharine foreverscream. But this is my duty Garfield, have you stopped eating my lasagna? Have you ever looked in that pan? When was the last time you tasted what you were chewing? You shuffling, bumbling, crusty, dumb fuck cat Garfield. If I pelted you with rocks who would hear the dumb screams? If I set myself on fire and smothered you who would die first? You're a tumor Garfield, but God made cancer, just like he made lasagna, except I made the lasagna. Does that make me more than a man?
They call you a "bad cat" but they will never drink from the fat and rotten juices, they are unfit to be in the kingdom of Heaven and Hell Garfield. You are cut from the nape of the Earth, you little bitty cat. Don't kick Odie off the table!! Gaaarfiiieeeeld!!!!
>>5585828
we met in a lgbt gaming group, we were friendly to each other and he told me where he was from, it was just a few towns from mine
we kept playing for a few weeks getting closer and starting to jokingly we should fuck etc
this went for a few weeks and this morning i woke up to a text from him asking i wanted to go grab a drink in a bar he knows ive been smiling since
hes like 1,90m, short dark hair and glasses
>>5585852
thx :)
>>5585820
because life has fucked us
>>5585887
>lgbt gaming group
I'm sorry anon
>>5585823
>cute
>geek
>into beer
pick 1 and only 1
>tfw no rough manly hands to caress my soft skin
I just made a timeline for one of my friends
All the way from age 17 to now.
Do you guys wanna see.
>>5585952
People who are into beer are massive sluts. OKCupid did a study on this. Literally if they say they like beer, they will sleep with anybody on the first date.
if there isn't mold on the cheese ur basically good to eat it right?
>>5585954
No.
>>5585963
what if its cream cheese
i left it out open two days ago
>>5585959
nope
expired cheese will make you puke even if it doesnt have mold on it
>>5585958
I like beer, am very loyal, and not slutty.
>>5585954
Not particularly.
>>5585963
>This is a new level of retardation.
You can't stop thorough testing.
>>5585966
Oh no throw that away.
>>5585966
out of the fridge for two days?
yea, go ahead and eat it, then post the results
>>5585951
>manly hands
you mean the hands of an 80 year old
>>5585984
he's probably 50 :3
>>5585951
>flash photography
>>5585989
>:3
>50
>>5585993
ancient men can be hot
>>5585958
The more i learned to like beer the less i liked sex. You're a liar
>>5585997
Oh dear sadfrog is kill.
>>5585958
i love beer and im definitely not a slut
>>5586001
Do I detect a hint of jealousy?
>>5585999
>No matter their gender or orientation, beer-lovers are 60% more likely to be okay with sleeping with someone they've just met.
sluts BTFO
"what are your hobbies? What are you into"
"I love running and working out"
Those aren't fucking hobbies unless you also think breathing with your mouth open is a fun pastime
>>5586008
What about those of us who don't like beer but are still hecka slutty?
every time i step outside i feel humiliated
>>5586008
Yes that graph knocked up in Microsoft word with no credible sources listed really showed me :^).
Just had gay unshowered sex with my bf.
Never again.
The smell of rank ass and dried pee around foreskin takes over and it's not pleasant.
Straight unshowered sex smells better.
>>5586016
Literally breaking the beer binary
>>5586020
graph is from okcupid why are you so upset lmao
>>5586020
Source: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-best-questions-for-first-dates/
>>5586029
not every study needs to be a super cereal ultra accurate dick measuring contest tbqh
>>5586022
Gross.
How long did you guys go unshowered?
I can spend like at least a business week before I start stenching it up.
>>5586022
At least do a whores bath before sex so people don't taste piss and rank
i'm out of eggs and tofu but also it's cold outside.
The bike ride to the store is online like 3.5 miles on hilly roads
Should I go, gaygen, give me encouragement
>>5586029
My interest in you is only for research purposes.
Can't go having my test subject drinking that tantalizing bottle of drain cleaner, no sir.
>>5586078
Please do. Remember that cool kids don't wear helmets, or watch out for traffic.
>>5586078
You shoud totally ride 3.5 miles just to buy the untastiest substance in the whole wide world, and eggs.
gay men and the pronunciation of s
huge mystery
>>5586113
You mean https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_lisp
>>5586127
man its so weird reading about us gays like we're some exotic species of animal
sp00ky
>>5586164
>tfw everyone is just a lazy bisexual
>>5586113
S for slithering snakes of Satan
S for sinners on their way to hell
Is it any wonder why they pronounce S's the way they do?
You're all on your way to hell and you don't even give one fuck.
Enjoy being pig-roasted in satan's stew you foolish sinners.
>>5586127
So glad I dont have to deal with this bullshit
Feels good being masc
http://vocaroo.com/i/s01gEdUrDMCu
>>5586178
>pig-roasted
Both "pig" and "spit-roasted" are part of the lingo. Nice one.
>>5586177
i could see that. There seems to be a significant portion of gay dudes who like boobs, even if they'd push most women down a flight of stairs without a second thought.
>>5586181
Have some Boog.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0rLD9xFvAQR
I made 29 dollar yesterday just to watch an orientation DVD about how cracker barrel is gods gift to the world.
Who's the vocaroo anon saying "that's a big dong, yea" and are there moar of him?
>>5586230
Nice. I love cracker barrel.
>>5586247
It's alright I just needed the job lol
>>5586254
I agree, it's nothing special, but I used to go every time we'd visit my Grandmere. Now it just sort of reminds me of family.
>>5586238
what vocaroo
Guess who just biked to the store only to realize they left their bankcards at home
this thread is a bigger flop than ARTPOP tbqh
>>5586441
you know what would probably make the thread better tho is if you came to my apartment and gave me eggs
>UK to ban poppers
>never used them anyway, even though I mostly bottom
I kind of enjoy seeing people being all up in arms about it, knowing full well it won't effect me much. Except
>bf uses poppers when I fuck him
I guess we could build a little stockpile for him or something...
>>5586462
Why would anyone go near your apartment?
>Be at university
>use bathroom
>walk out of stall
>women everywhere, like at least 6 people
>realize I'm in the wrong bathroom but I keep walking like I belong there
>all turn to me at once, their faces when
>say "what's up, guys? Thought this was the other bathroom lol" while still walking
>nobody says anything
>I casually walk out, not giving a fuck
>see a woman standing outside, waiting for her friend
>she looks up from her phone, sarcastically says "Nice."
>"thanks bro :^) "
I still don't give a fuck
>>5586462
sorry but i dont find the idea of going to a cockroach-infested shithole where a weird colombian witch lives very appealing
Where the fuck are you bros?
#savethepoppers
>>5586523
>tfw no bro to cuddle wuith
>>5586523
Waiting for my W2s.
>>5586523
im about to eat something bigger than my head
#whateverittakes
Anyone else pissed of by facebook normies ?
>>5586651
Don't die pls
>>5586651
wtf milk doesn't go with meat
that's gross as fuck
I like listening to ABBA
and that movie with Meryl Streep was pretty good imo
im pretty gay i think
>>5586674
dont be stupid
milk goes with everything and anything
>this was full this morning
>>5586672
you dont own me
>>5586688
ugh, repulsive
milk only goes with cookies and cake
>>5586695
no, the movie is called Mama Mia and is from 2007
it's a musical where they sing ABBA songs all the time
>>5586696
>>5586688
>americans
literally no taste
>>5586712
Have you seen the old/new Into the Woods, tho?
>>5586717
no, is it good? it's actually on my watch list. Is it on amazon prime?
>>5586688
have you delimed your kettle feelgood?
>>5586729
but, tada! all gone!
>>5586716
>jews
>can't into dairy
Absolutely disgusting cut freaks
>>5586729
>im british
I don't like masc old men but I would marry Stephen Dillane or Stannis in a second
pls gib
>>5586734
no, the limescale is good for you and provides roughage
>>5586737
Pour that into a glass and drink, you soft cunt.
are cut dicks the best? yes, they are. you know it.
>>5586737
post belly now
>>5586745
>mutilated american detected
>>5586736
alright
>>5586729
Legendarily bad maybe. You had to go imperial to figure out what spices were and you still can't use them.
had a little cheat day and ate lots of stuff today because you faggots told me i eat too little and need to gain weight
i can already feel my ass getting fatter
>>5586756
pffft. british food is worldclass. just look at pic related!
>>5586746
trust me you dont want to see that
>>5586744
id puke
>>5586745
The 3 worst people in the world are cut. Muslims, Jews, and Americans.Don't promote this filthy practice, deny mutilated cocks any satisfaction.
>>5586771
hi bb
this morning, while in class, i thought about you and got a hardon
love you <3
>>5586763
Pussy.
>>5586771
im dont have the equipment to take a proper pic
>>5586758
Your body compensates if it's deprived constantly of caloric intake. Your calorie intake must be in flux a lot one day, mid range for a few days, and then a drastic decrease in calories for 2 days or 3, then start the cycle again. That way your metabolism can't compensate for the drastic change and doesn't plateau in metabolizing.
Never stay constant on diets.
Luke is the best boy, am I rite
>>5586787
lol i needed that laugh
thanks anon
>>5586789
i like harrison ford more i think
>>5586789
tall Luke or short Luke?
>>5586787
>Your body compensates if it's deprived constantly of caloric intake.
So what does that mean in my situation? I used too have a big calorie deficit for weeks.
>>5586787
>>5586784
I'd rather finish what the doctor started and cut your whole dick and balls of completely. You eunuch piece of shit.
>>5586799
short hehe. buuutt both i suppose
why am i not happy lgbt
no bully pls good responses only ty
also how is every1 2day :)
>>5586800
Noob calorie loss. Your body will fight back sometime soon.
>>5586825
Hello, beautiful.
>>5586805
Anon, so aggressive. Someone needs to just get a little rough in bed and work out some anger.
>>5586797
I accidentally made myself lactose intolerant and have been trying to ween back on to dairy a little. If I have more than like a cheese stick a day, things start going wrong.
>>5586813
Presumably because >tfw no bf
>>5586825
Shut up and leave you stupid piece of shit. You're worthless.
Neeed advice, fags.
What would you do if you found out someone was a compulsive liar? I'm actually worried that he's been lying about me because he even lied to me about his mum (saying she tried to hook him up with this married middle-aged guy inspite of her apparently hating that her son is gay...).
Anyway, I like/liked the boy a lot but should I just ignore it? The cunt lied to me the entire time I've knwon him and I'm pissed as fuck.
>>5586830
k fatty
Imagine if you met a guy that you think is perfect, but he already has a robot bf you can't compete with because he made his own robot android boyfriend and he doesn't even notice others.
And then you have to give your best for him to even notice you, let alone deal with your not flawless design and character. Then, one night, you find his robot bf and push him off a cliff and he breaks his skull and doesn't perform as good. But luckily you stole its data and you can figure out based on that data what that guy is into.
Or even better, you visit a hacker that can augment that robot memory in your mind.
How does your opinion of a guy change if he has piercings?
In your opinion, what piercings look good or okay, and what looks bad on guys?
>>5586789
>>5586796
Am I the only one who wants to give Kylo Ren the d?
Also, I was discussing the movie with a friend of mine and he came up with a pretty good reason for why Kylo Ren gets btfo at the end of the movie. He can focus his skills on force manipulation and mind tricks, but there aren't any jedi left to spar against or train him, so he's still a scrub with a lightsaber.
>>5586825
Read the New Testament.
If that doesn't make you happy perhaps hell will?
>>5586857
No not mad just sick of seeing your stupid ass.
>>5586844
>tfw changed off of engineering
>tfw i will never build my own bf-bot
>>5586789
you are. He was a super qt before the crash
>>5586850
Your body does compensate, but you can compensate harder by dropping the calories even further. You can try all sorts of stuff, like keto and intermittent fasting to try and get the most out of your diet, but a simple calorie deficit is the simplest way.
>>5586868
>pathetic penis that doesn't get hard anymore
You're either fat and suffering from circulatory issues or you're on estrogen. Which is it?
>>5586879
Estrogen doesn't always keep it from getting hard
Life experience.
>>5586876
crash?
>>5586884
lmao
>>5586857
You can't just steal other people's robots around, they're probably trackable.
>>5586886
Yeah sometime between episode 5 & 6 he was in a crash and it fucked up his face.
>>5586886
Hamill was in a car crash back when they were filming the original trilogy, it messed him up pretty bad. He had a lot of surgery for it. I'm constantly surprised people don't know about it, but I guess it was kept pretty quiet at the time.
>>5586892
dude neopets is hxc i imagine one could remvoe the tracking device
>>5586856
Forgot waifu pic.
>>5586878
>dropping your calories even further
Starvation Mode MUCH? That's the worst advice ever!
>>5586892
If there are robots like this out there, just find out a way to poz it with robot aids.
>>5586897
>low test
Get your levels checked m8.
>>5586894
Oh shit, wow.
>>5586907
Robots, but only cybrids can contract AIDS 2 actually. It shuts down their defense/encyrption so others can steal their data. I read it in a book.
i didn't have any eggs or tofu after my bike ride but i was super hungry so i ate some popcorn but i ate too much and threw some of it back up into the bowl I ate it from.
I feel groddy. </3
And my belly still hurts.
>>5586856
I'd rather give Oscar Isaac the d tbah
>>5586914
Isn't hamil like 70 or something? I'm going to be sad when he dies. He looks like someone I could drink with.
>>5586917
did you just not have any meaning in your life before then?
i also dont understand how this is happy versus calm or content
>>5586931
Who? lol all these losers people post who aren't famous.
>>5586946
Bible and teachings of the Christ are absolutely insignificant next to the power of the Force.
>>5586920
>I read it in a book.
Can't argue with that.
>>5586926
>>5586931
>31 pts
>That stat line
Poe is objectively shit.
>>5586952
I don't play X-Wing, I can't decipher this shit. I'm not surprised, though. He's still cute as hell.
>>5586952
Poe was the only good thing about the movie fempai. Too bad he wants to get blacked.
>>5586951
>power of the Force.
I'm pretty sure Jesus could have protected a thermal exhaust port (which isn't much bigger then a wamp rat) better then Vader.
