What did you do to make it happen?

>>5562575
didnt put yourself out there enough and ask people out, probably due to fear or rejection and being too much of a loner

I know its this because even uggos get bfs, theyre just bad bfs

the only people who never get anything are as described

>>5562575
>Where did I go wrong?
Wanted bf instead of gf.

You didn't put out.

>>5562580
t. went on grindr looking for just friends.

>>5562969
Pls I think the opposite is true for most lonely gays

a bf for what reason? to feel wanted or be someone that they love?
work on yourself, then consider a bf

you need to consider what he'll gain from it, his perspective
relationships are give and take

>>5563170
that and simply having a bf isn't enough. you could have a bf and be completely incompatible

it will not fix all of your problems

Same. Been celibate for over a year. 23 now. Got a grindr account under a week ago. Met some 17 yr old cutie. Only one Ive talked to who wants a LTR and likes King of the Hill. Hes coy af and idk if its right or practical to be pursuing someone who's 7 yrs younger. But we text a lot and last night he wanted me to come pick him up to cuddle and watch KOTH at my place. I was too tired/stoned to drive/ interact. Fml ive been trying to get with him for days now while were both hooking up w other guys and im over here questioning whether my motives are legit or jf im just a pederast creep.

I dont know

All gay men I know are extremely extroverted and overpowering and I feel like an imposter when im with them or identifying with them

To be honest if you arent the life of every room you walk in to and dont do theatre/fine art like 99.99% of the gay population I just dont know where youd even start

At the age of around 20 I just realised how shut out I was from this whole sphere, I dont think theres a 'way in' if youre not already there, ive never had a bf or anything either

>>5562575
Last year I managed to get involved with a mutual friend in our group.

I didn't know what it was like to have a relationship, much less a gay one since I never came out.

While this may sound a bit like rose colored glasses it is not. Every day with him was perfect. From working out together, going camping, hanging out with friends, cuddling, etc. And the sex, that was amazing. That feeling of trust to let the person I cared about do lewd things to me was amazing. But mostly it was having someone to talk to, someone to hold my hand, someone to spend time with.

Don't get me wrong. I had my faults. Sometimes I ended up letting anxiety and fear of coming out dictate my actions. It preyed upon our insecurities.

But nevertheless I lost him. I let this man that I grew to love walk right out on me due to it. To him I wasn't giving 100% and he was right when I look back at it. I had no reason to hide this man that I love but I was so stupid.

So now I sit here and I think about everything. I let the foundation, my anchor in life go. The person I trust completely is gone. The person I see a world and future in is with someone else.

I know where it went wrong. And it was my fault.

>>5563225
What are your interests?

Most of the mid 20s guys I see on grindr arent theatre/dance queens. Youre selling yourself short if you do have at least some sense of drive and meaning. It doesnt have to be the typical gay interests.

Besides, when I was 18 had a LTR with the biggest possible queen you could imagine. Art student clubkid from ny and im over here, not in school, training to be a builder, super introverted, but i was open to his lifestyle. He even took me to my first dance club when I had never danced in front of anyone and we had a great time. Common interests do not equal compatibility anon. In my case it was the opposites that made us click, and the openness to each others lives. Cliche i know.

>>5563287
Im not sure where they all hang out really, I guess im too socially retarded to have enough friends that id ever meet a gay one
Either way its not happening, I wouldnt have the faintest idea how to start even if I had drive

>>5563299
Youre on grindr. Thats a start. I hear tinder is ripe too. Youre going to havve failures and rejection. Just accept it. Everyone does in virtually any human effort. Never know til you try. Dorsnt seem like youve done much trying.

>>5563409
people dont get bfs on grindr, or normal friends
to get a bf, youve got to have a very large social group like most normal people

If you get what you've always wanted, never ever let it go.... No matter what

>>5562575
When I was 15 I had a boyfriend
When I was 16 he died
Now I'm 24 and I haven't had one since

>>5563748
If nepotism is the only way to have a fulfilling relationship, then have pity for you if you got the shit end of the stick and refuse to consider other options.

Deal with the cards you are dealt.

>>5563188
Are you phil

>>5564290
You might want to get therapy for the loss.

I only realized I was gay at 25, now almost five years later I still haven't done any gay stuff. There was a lot of stuff that I was really unfamiliar with and had to learn and the more I learned the more it seemed like it just wasn't going to happen for me.
So all in all I'd say yes it does require you to really put out earlier and be shaped by gayness before its just too late for it.