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FtMg: Fuck Edition
Old: >>5491810
Don't forget to sage and wait to make new threads until we're at bump limit on page 9-10.
Ancient map: https://www.zeemaps.com/edit/U0Hw9yNtqrJd-qzTdbUFMw
Some info (excuse the tumblr, it's truscum): http://helpfultransinfo.tumblr.com/tags/
Skype group: add cheeki-briki or duckduckfrog
Google Hangout: TBA
Goddamnit you lazy fucks can't one of you make the thread before it dies while I'm not here.
>>5522483
> table top gaming
You just made a friend in me, anon.
And yeah, that's actually something that for me into investigating this. People who proclaimed being trans or gay acting far differently to those I ran into incidentally (and others I assume I met but were stealth). It's interesting for a few reasons, actually. Even that people who are just stealth/keep it on the down low being common is hugely reassuring in that I'm not getting it wrong to assume they exist.
And yeah, I think like support groups, if you have supportive friends and info, aren't necessarily worth the emotional investment.
>>5522571
Dude. Pus after surgery? Go see trustworthy doctor, or ring the surgeon. Any kind of pus can be a sign of infection and you don't have the training to know if it's okay. Do not mess around with post surgery recovery. Surgery is serious.
>>5522810
now that I'm off work I can properly shit post.
Finally found a top surgeon that will take payment plans and is in town.
Now I just have to lose weight because im fat as fuck
Hello.
>>5523079
Post butt pics.
>>5523100
I am a cis male though.
>>5523102
So?
>>5523104
My butts not attractive though objectively.
Post yours.
>>5523108
I'll be the judge of that.
>>5523102
spread your cheeks fuckboy
Wondering how far I can get with self medication being a 120lb 5'11 25 year old.
good morning ftmg
what are you all doing right now besides shitposting
also opinions on pic related
>>5523102
ass or gtfo
>>5523177
Every time I read this it pisses me off.
>>5523176
T is a controlled substance so self medding is not possible unfortunately
>>5523196
you need evidence in science and sometimes inhumane acts may occur
>>5523177
I'm studying calc and listening to music,
and as far the pic goes it just makes me sad and really angry. I've been meaning to read the book about Reimer and his life but haven't gotten around to it yet.
>>5523205
thanks for making me aware that there was a book on his life, gonna be reading that now
>out at a bar with roommate and a friend of hers
>randomly see older dude I work with
>say hello to be polite
>he proceeds to tell us all how crazy and funny it is that I'm peeing in the same bathroom with the guys at work now
>calls me "heshe" several times while almost bouncing with his enthusiasm
>"You know, I'm actually more attracted to you now, but not like, in a gay way."
>"How'd you get your voice lower?"
>Talks all about my shit in the most cringey and hamfisted of ways while my roommate and her friend look on in horror
I was too fucking embarrassed to do more than polite-force-end the convo. I just. Fuck's sake. I'm finally starting to pass, dude, don't ruin this for me.
The highlight of the convo was definitely when he mentioned another coworker complaining of the bathroom situation, to which his reasonable response was "well, at least it's not a GAY guy, right?" Which was apparently an acceptable answer. Guess it's good that I don't have it on blast that I'm bi. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
>>5523192
Do you guys actually like men?
I am just lurking because I don't know a thing about FTMs tbqh and want to learn.
>>5523236
Some do, some don't. We're all individuals like any other human being.
Answer my questions? Thanks.
>In which ways are you masculine?
>In which ways are you feminine?
>How bad is dysphoria (1-10) ?
>Did you change your name (under what circumstances) before passing?
>Do you consider yourself a "real man"?
>>5523241
I don't like that answer tbqh...i'd rather generalize an entire group of people that I will never meet tbvh.
>>5523247
It is what it is, brother. There's a chance you've even met a ftm and you'd of never known it because we can pass so well after being on testosterone for a good while.
I'm bisexual myself. I'm pretty 50/50 on men and women. Most ftm you'll see around here will be bi or gay, but outside of 4chan most will likely be straight and were lesbians before transitioning.
>>5523257
I was just rusing tbqh.
I met one before. A very social person that had a 9/10 gf. Very charismatic person who understood that they stood out and that their lifestyle wasn't the norm. A good hearted person tbvh.
I have only ever met one though and I am sure they are more common. Not sure why you would all want to be men lol it's tough being a man.
>>5523269
It's not about "wanting" to be men. We're faced with dysphoria. We don't feel right being in a woman's body. Tits, hips, fat thighs, high voice. They all feel completely fucking wrong being on me. It literally has nothing to do with what I want, because if I had a choice I would prefer to be a cis girl, but I'm not so I make due and do what I can to be comfortable in my body.
>>5523277
I understand ive talked to many mtfs about their dysphoria so I have a feel for what you mean. I know youre going to make it tho...Do you exercise at all? If I am going to be here I might as well try to help with /fit/ stuff. I also am trying to get free test tbqh...
>>5523269
It's tough being a woman too, in a lot of ways that a guy is unlikely to consider.
I used to feel really weird about it, when I was still questioning, like I was just giving up on being a chick because it was too hard and being a guy was easy-mode. The women in my family are pretty hardcore- my mom is an ex-military officer and is still going strong in the corporate world, while remaining femme as fuck. It felt kinda like I was just trying to seek the weaker option.
>>5523296
I do a lot of cardio and my job has me moving around a lot, so it's not bad.
One of my many goals for 2016 is to get a bit more fit though, so any advice is more than welcome, friendo.
>>5523296
Different anon here, is the fastest way to start to hire a pt in a gym? I'm too self conscious to run around in the neighbourhood/parks whatever.
>free test
If I could self med I would
>>5523305
>>5523321
Honestly I would recommend going to /fit/ and using the sticky. They are generally really helpful for a lot of different things. I suggest going on Starting Strength and doing the 3x5 routine. I would do 3x8. I wouldn't ever hire a personal trainer tbqh because they are a rip off and you can teach yourself everything on the internet.
I know that was general advice but if you have specific questions I will try to answer.
>>5523303
Everyone has a tough life even if you're a six ft 9 guy with a huge penis or a 10/10 female. Obviously they have more oppourtiunites but they still can get caught up in drugs or not learning from their mistakes. Lifes hard for all of us tbqh.
will T cure my manletness?
>5´4´´ kms
>>5523342
How old are you?
>>5523345
19 but genes make me look a lot younger
>>5523354
We are on 4chan.
When in Rome do as the Romans.
>>5523351
Eh, to be quite honest with you, you have a very, very small window of growing at all. Women stop growing extremely early on, starting T later than maybe 15ish is hell for us because our bones have already fused into place.
I'm turning 27 soon, just starting T and I'm only 5'3". I think it's time to start counting your blessings and working with what you have.
>>5523236
Personally I only like men. But it differs from person to person.
>>5523246
>In which ways are you masculine?
Way of thinking, way of dressing, little bit looks since I'm pre-T. Working on the walk now, I find I'm tending to walk more with my knees than with my hips now.
>In which ways are you feminine?
Mannerisms, body shape (super hourglass, big hips). Also I'm like 5'5" :^(
>How bad is dysphoria (1-10) ?
Usually like a 2-3 ish. I don't get too much of it often since my mirror cuts off my hips and my face is pretty manly, but I remember having to wear makeup for something and looking in the mirror and being like an 8. Had to take it off right away.
>Did you change your name (under what circumstances) before passing?
Haven't changed name yet, but have "passed" accidentally with nothing.
>Do you consider yourself a "real man"?
Eeeeeh. Not now, definitely. Maybe someday, but I'll probably always think of myself as "became a man" rather than "I was always a man".
>>5523321
Floor routines can be intimidating if you're new to regular exercise. Get a gym membership (one with AC if you're in a hot country, cold = better), and start 3 days a week/every 2nd day. Exercise bike and rowing machine is the easiest cardio to start with - also least embarrassing. Don't be afraid to exercise in regular clothes if you're self-conscious, gymwear is optional. Weights machines are generally self explanatory for the single purpose ones. Don't start with free weights. Find a weight on a machine that you can do 10 reps with, without straining super hard. Do that a bunch of times, until you can't do it anymore. Repeat with rest days and a non-awful diet (protip: protein and carbs) and you'll start to get some muscle. This is slower than crashing into supplements and structured workouts, but it's also more sustainable and eases you into the idea of regulated exercise.
Then you start doing flexibility, managing your diet more, etc, but a simple routine will at least get you started, and starting while you do the research gives you a lot more motivation to actually put that research into practice.
>>5523413
>became a man
This makes sense to me. That's a description of dysphoria, right? That you 'should' be a man but aren't.
>>5523230
Maybe this would cause more drama than you want, but I would consider filing a sexual harassment complaint.
>>5523230
Jesus christ what the fuck.
>>5525094
you can't file a sexual harrassment complaint at work for shit said outside of work... that guy can say whatever he wants in a bar, even if it's shitty...
>>5525206
Yeah, but if he thinks shit like that is appropriate outside of work, he's probably gonna say weird shit at work too.
>>5525239
not necessarily... he was at a bar and likely drunk, and if he does say weird shit at work then they can actually say something at work... 'til then they just know what he thinks and can't do shit...
what he could've done was told him off in the bar, but if he didn't well... missed opportunity, but you can't run to your boss for shit your coworker says outside of work...
how do you guys deal with hormonal mood swings before period and how the fuck do you keep from cutting yourself or mutilate your genitals
I'm going to fucking carve that disgusting thing out of there I can't fucking stand this
>>5525661
before i got on t i took birth control. that helped whatever genital issues i had really
>>5525749
being fed estrogen is literally the last thing I want.
I wish I wasn't too dysphoric for sex so I could a least have a boyfriend.
>>5525788
>tfw really horny all the time
>there's someone who loves me and wants to fuck me
>too dysphoric to even be in a relationship let alone fuck
Haha fuck life.
>>5525827
>tfw desperate to be loved and shown affection
>the only thing available is fuckboys
>run out of energy, no longer emotionally capable of selling sex for faked attention
>contemplate suicide
So, due to some wires being crossed at my doctor's office, I ended up with a prescription for testosterone cream.
I've heard it's shit (from my previous doctor no less), but my current doctor highly recommended it. Does anyone have any experience with it? Would you recommend it?
Thanks in advance.
>>5525928
at least its better than nothing
>>5525955
I forgot to mention: I already have some injectible T. So the alternative isn't nothing.
Part of the reason I'm apprehensive is because I've had decent results with the injectible stuff so far, and I'm worried I'll lose ground. However, if I could avoid having to give myself shots, that would be nice.
Do I get my man card revoked if I get involved in - and genuinely mad a bout - stupid tumblr fandom drama?
>>5526344
Elaborate.
>>5526344
If the situation can't be explained without the word "problematic" then yes.
>>5526390
Nah, I can understand that. I thought the same thing while sifting through shipshit on tumblr the other day. Suspension of belief can only go so far.
>>5523230
As a cis guy i've had this happen but about other topics. People expressing the most fucking retarded whatever because either they're drunk or they are just horrible human beings and have decided you are their friend due to mistaking politeness for camaraderie. Enough rage that it's left me literally shaking trying to calm down.
And yeah, there's nothing you can do. Unless they were drunk and the type to be embarassed about it the next day, at which point you can make them at least feel a little bad, there's nothing much you can do. Maybe if you're good at office politics, get them fired? But that's a hollow victory at best.
Just have to realize a lot of people didn't actually grow up and are faking it, and pledge to do better.
The worst thing about that situation is it sounds like that guy thought he was being supportive.
>>5526437
I'm trans gay and autistic and tumblr fucking offends me
How come non-transgender men don't seem to care about FtM but non-transgender women AND non-transgender men go apeshit over MtF?
I'm getting very bothered by this and I can't stop thinking about it.
>>5526470
they're bigger and therefore more threatening.
tall things are always more offensive than tiny ones.
>>5526465
I'm never sure if it's just our 4chan sensibilities talking or if Tumblr really is a strange and terrible place. Though I feel like we are more well-versed in their culture than they are in ours.
>>5526470
People who are bigoted don't think of FtM as actually male. They think of them as females dressing in male clothing, which they find acceptable/hot.
MtF they see as males dressing in women's clothing (reversal of power dynamic, which makes someone pathetic/disgusting (see: sissification fetish)) and being gay, which turns them from relative allies/competitors into potential rapists. The fear of being 'turned into a woman' as part of the whole authoritarian men>women power relationship is a pretty strong motivator.
There's a complicated whole societal thing with gender and accepted gender roles/power relationships, and it's very complicated, and full of people claiming many things, but what it boils down to is that certain actions, while similar to other actions, are considered worse because they interact with the beliefs people hold (largely unconsciously) about how you SHOULD act if you are a certain gender.
>>5526479
Like skyscrapers, amirite? Fuck those gigantic buildings.
>>5526544
i actually don't like sunflowers cuz of how big they are... the seeds when they're in the flower just look really nasty... idk they're fucking weird
i like trees and dinner plate dahlias and shit though... but yeah, fuck sunflowers they're too big
Hi I'm a newfag
what do I have to know to blend in here?
>>5526544
I think being angry at sunflowers kind of sums up the FTM condition. Small, inferiority complex, full of anger with no outlet so fuck it, sunflowers are fucking assholes. Row row fight the flower.
>>5526546
Possibly this is due to you, a transguy, being the SO. Mothers-in-law kinda have a reputation.
>>5526588
Better a flower than like, a person. Anything that stops you taking out anger on a person is pretty much a positive thing. Me, i'll beat up a bag, and i've broken my hand against a wall before because it was just the better choice. I've also lost it at people enough that I won't ever forgive myself.
So yeah, sunflowers.
>>5526704
oh nah, i never told her... i'm pre-everything and she already hates me and is weird as shit about me... never wanted to give her the ammo
it's a lot easier to deal with someone making comments about how not feminine your body is while they grab at you (and she has physically just kinda touched me grabbed my ass and whatnot to tell me how i don't have one etc) being a transguy, than to sit around and have them insult the person you actually are you know?
i'm glad he went no contact with that narcissist (literally, she's a text book case of narcissism) cunt though...
>>5526704
>get fucking furious
>not confident enough to fight with a person
>hitting objects reminds me how weak and shitty I am
>tell panda on TV it's a cunt
>that'll have to do
>>5526744
+ i mean... i don't like being groped by a gross old bitch, but when everything is all "you don't even hips," "you're really flat chested," etc it's like "eh could be worse?" you know?
i can bite my tongue and not start shit when it's something like that, but if she just straight up was saying that ignorant shit she'd go on about at me... idk... i feel like i probably would've lost my temper and nah... i wouldn't wanna do that to my s/o or his siblings no matter how shit she is you know?
>>5526588
>all this projection
>>5526802
I had a jerk comment on my flat chest once too, I was binding but no trans hints. I suddenly had to scramble to think of what real humans would say in the situation but got nothing. Went for "well observed".
>>5526875
lol nice response
i actually wasn't binding the most recent time... but i don't have much to begin with (i just bind cuz it helps with dysphoria), so i was just kinda sitting on the couch smoking and she was talking about her tits for whatever reason and was just like "oh but you don't know you have nothing there" and then some other comment about that and i was just like
"yeah, i'm fine with that"
which she didn't like, hearing anyone say they're ok with something about themselves/their body she thinks they shouldn't be ok with drives her fucking crazy... she's deeply insecure and has had tons of plastic surgery (bad plastic surgery too, she stole money from her kids' bank accounts to go to shit doctors) and shit so she just puts down everyone she meets and sees as a chick... like the second she sees anyone she tears into them
>>5526798
Why do you WANT to fight a person? Unless they're a person who fights a lot, and so are you, it's awful and it does things to your mind.
>>5526875
>lean in close
>"i'll rip off your dick and feed it to you, you little bitch"
>wink
>go on your way
>>5526744
So what, she discussed transguys and her feelings on transguys without prompting? That's weird as fuck. I've literally never heard mainstream people bring it up on their own. I'm not sure they even know transguys exist.
>>5526802
That situation is kind of my nightmare, though. I hate self censoring, but on the other hand, getting angry at people is the opposite of what I want. Even if they deserve it.
Im hanging out here you need the bumps anyway.
>>5522483
Bro me fucking too
I don't want to be seen as a transguy. I just wanna be a normal dude.
Have any of you tried grindr? Or scruff or something like that?
>>5526953
People sage in this thread, actually, to avoid the front page trolling I believe.
>>5526972
Question: I tend to call people gender-inappropriate shit just because, not always, but sometimes. I avoid doing this around FtM and MtF because it seems dickish given the amount of shit they get inherently. Is this appropriate behaviour.
>>5526972
>>5526982
I run tabletop games on skype sometimes, we should hook up.
>>5526949
yeah, she's done it more than once too actually... like just out of nowhere starts ranting like that, transguys aren't and can never be "real men" but she thinks transgirls post hrt and shit are women...
i think one time it had context cuz she seen this dyke my s/o's cousin grew up with, and was like "i think she's one of those trans men" and just went off, but like... i remember another time where we were watching the news and nothing trans related was on or anything and she started with that... and it doesn't matter how little interest people around her show, or whether or not they disagree... she just goes off with shit
i actually won't fight with her and tell her what i think cuz all of it would be undeniably true, and none of it is good... and like, they've grown up watching her fight with everyone... cops getting involved constantly (in their schools, in doctor's offices, she had the cops called on her for standing in the door of a bus screaming cuz she was insisting someone stole her empty 99 cent wallet...specifically this muslim guy she was calling a terrorist and screaming about beheadings) she fights with everyone on their block, and has gone outside putting crazy fucking letters on the trees and shit about the woman across the street... just like... all this embarrassing shit, and i'd never want to actively contribute to it by yelling at her...
she made it fucking damn hard though... but i haven't had to deal with her in a while
>>5526999
Do you guys get dysphoric about your boy cavities or do you guys prefer going back door?
Ive never really chased an ftm tbqh...
>>5527046
i'm not that dysphoric about my genitals, but i don't have sex
>>5527046
front holes are scary, I prefer sucking on your tiny pete instead but anal is okay in some circumstances tbqh f a m
>>5526999
I mean, I have friends that do that to me, and I do it to them (none of them are trans), I don't give a fuck. If they obviously know that I'm a guy, I'm not gonna care.
How do tabletop games + Skype work?
>>5527074
Its not all that small. It got overrated how small it was. I thought it was four inches but it's actually 5.5.
If you don't want penetration id be fine with that tbqh...
Maybe once in a while wherever you feel comfortable. I might pressure you though to get very lewd tbqh...
Plus I know what im doing with it.
>>5527068
Ahh so everyone is different. Im just curious about the similarities between ftm and mtf. I know a decent amount about mtf and how they think.
>>5527117
Im really bad at getting lewd because Im really shy and insecure
>>5527079
I stopped doing it to trans people after a few trans people were obviously bothered by it. Weird. I'm really not normally someone who modifies their behaviour like that, but I guess I felt it was warranted.
Skype + tabletop - weirdly, and often badly. But I learned how after I joined an online shadowrun group, and then I left that group because drama and ugh, drama. And it's okay, and it scratches the itch, and half of my dnd group are overseas and our schedules are ass to try to work out, so. You use roll20 for dice/maps, group call, make notes/ooc stuff in the text area of the skype call, etc.
>>5527150
Why is that entitled pokemonrape when ash is pretty clearly into whatever is going on back there.
>>5527150
That's fine...just close your eyes and daddy will do the rest tbqh...
>>5527046
i'm fine with whatever personally... but that's cuz all i care about is whether or not something feels good, ruining pleasure with feelings and thinking is pointless...
>>5527171
Yeah, I mean, I think I'm probably an outlier when it comes to a lot of these things concerning being trans. I am only uncomfortable with being misgendered when I know it comes from a place of someone thinking I'm actually a girl or someone deliberately misgendering me. Otherwise, it's just a funny throwaway joke made by a friend and idgaf.
That sounds... Interesting, lol. I'm very new to most games and I think DnD is way too involved for me. I mean, the amount of time it took to set up my character when I tried to be a part of a campaign a while back was infuriating. It'd probably help if I started a game with people I actually liked, though.
>>5526470
straight men don't care what other men do, or what anyone who they're not interested in fucking do.
straight men are scared of accidentally fucking an mtf or doing something accidentally gay, and most straight women think they're creepy and dangerous, unless they're young and passable
>>5527183
you say tbqh and tbvh more than anyone i've ever seen
not a bad thing just an observation
>>5527204
Ill leave you alone im just bored and I don't want to weird you out...
>>5527187
I guess I am in that same boat. I am straight one hundred percent but ill try everyone out. Its fun. Im mostly a relationship guy though but I love sex.
>>5527223
People im flirting with seem to like it for whatever reason.
>>5527196
Making characters generally consumes an entire session, and a lot of systems you kinda need to know the mechanics before it starts being fun as otherwise you spend too much time discussing mechanics and too little on the story. Also there's just.. a lot of awful roleplayers, and others where you'll only have fun with them if you're the exact same kind. It's uh.. not for the faint of heart. Starting a game with people you like/get along with even if they know nothing about it is generally superior to finding people who've done it a lot, because 'experience' isn't actually necessarily a good thing. I've got a good track record with new players, which I blame largely on witchcraft and diabolism.
I mean, I mostly do it because it's fucking addictive as hell.
>>5527283
It's an affectation that indicates confidence. I find it deeply unattractive, but like shit like saying 'daddy will take care of it', I guess there's a kind of person who likes that sort of thing.
>>5527020
I uh. I'd really suspect that she knows you're trans and is/was doing that as a passive aggressive thing. I really can't imagine any other circumstance where that would happen. I just can't imagine a regular, even crazy, sort of person even thinking about transguys at all.
>>5527283
huh, I wonder why
>>5527232
i actually wouldn't call myself a relationship person, but i've been in one for 11 years so far... we're open, but yeah... i could only have one with him i think
Hey, I was wondering if I can make a simple packer (mr limpy) into a stp and play one.
for the stp I'll use some 1/4 inch tubing and 1 angled nipple.
I was thinking to make it stiff, was put some pvc( or maybe another material) tubing in the middle, so the stp tube doesn't come out of it's way, and the packer doesn't break off so easily. it's the red part on the drawing
it's this a good idea or bad?
>>5527407
>>5527196 same person here
I just don't know how into roleplaying I am! It's hard to know if you'll like it if you haven't had a decent experience with it.
(i totally agree about the tbqh thing. It's like, forcing a persona of confidence when, to me, it just kind of demonstrates that a person is trying too hard to be ~cool~ by being blunt and forthright to an edgy degree)
>>5527407
No I feel not everybody likes the daddy thing but its still fun to say for whatever reason tbqh...
I understand if someone isn't into it.
>>5527410
I don't know. I think it sounds like you're saying something than along with the elipsisses it just leaves an impression...
>>5527420
That's a really long time for a relationship. Even a friendship tbvh.
>>5527442
Wait so would the pvc part be removable?
>>5527449
yeah it can be, I could take off the stp part too, but I mean, for the urges, having everything at hand.
>>5527407
i honestly really think if she thought i was trans she'd point out the shit about my appearance that's feminine insult me rather than constantly point out how unfeminine she thinks i am... she chooses things to try to make people uncomfortable you know?
and idk... the part of brooklyn my s/o and i are from is real lgbt friendly and shit... i grew up right up the block from two gay bars and there's like fucking pride parades and fairs etc right in the area... so it's impossible to be there and unaware...
there's a transguy who lives across the street from her too...
>>5527448
God, I hate it when people use the ellipses too, haha. To me, it just leaves the "impression" that the person is trailing off in an awkward/uncomfortable manner, or that they're over dramatic/over emotional. In my mind, it's just supposed to be a longer pause than a comma. It took me so damn long to get used to the fact that Brooklyn (ftmg regular, uses far too many ellipses) just talks like that all the time.
To each his own, though.
>>5527469
Hey
I flirt way more than I should tbqh irl and online I just go by with what works tbqh. Blame the human brain not maki :^ )
>>5527457
Oh okay
I mean, it's definitely doable; I remember seeing a youtube video a couple years back that was a pretty good, in depth explanation of how to do it, and unfortunately, I can't find it at the moment.
Basically, heat up a screwdriver of a good thickness on the stove and shove it through the packer. The heat will help you slice through the material super easily, then you can do whatever with your other materials. Just don't, like, inhale the fumes or whatever. Good luck, man.
>>5527491
Yo it's all good I just felt like telling my useless opinion to people hahaha
>>5527448
yeah... sometimes i think about how long it's been and i find it kinda crazy... i've known him even longer than we've been dating... more than half my life, we were best friends for 4 years first + i knew him for a couple years before we got close
before we met we had a shitton of mutual friends who were always telling us both about how we needed to meet, and how we'd get along so well etc ... ended up meeting separate from all that (we technically met twice) and well... yeah... they were right we do get along
>>5527466
Well, maybe then. Eh. Some people think that trans people are trans purely because they 'can't' be the gender they biologically are, so they'd use that as an insult.. If you're in an area with a lot of lgbt stuff going on then yeah. I could see that. honestly thinking about this is depressing me. Dis world.
>>5527444
I was pretty on the fence until I hit up a roleplaying convention (they're different here in aus than most places) and played some fucking sweet games and then I was like, hooked. The combination of storywriting and induced imagination hits me harder than any high, pulls me in harder than any but the best PC games or movies (and i'm a fan of good movies, too), that story becomes fleshed out and more REAL than otherwise, so even a weird little tale becomes something transcendent, done right. It's hard to find a good group for it, though. If the personalities don't click, the magic evaporates.
Oh, and I like making the tiny little people with thoughts and feelings. That bit is aces.
>>5527448
I've got a lot of acquaintances. But actual friends, very few. And those people I will die still being friends with. Same for anyone I have ever loved.
Couldn't do it any other way.
>>5527469
you should hear me talk irl... i talk slow as fuck, not like... as bad as an ent, but still...
>>5527469
There's an affective use of ellipsis, or overuse, to indicate that the person is doing that sort of breathy, dreamy sort of way of speaking, where everything is a possssssibillittttyyyyy maaaaaaaaannnn..... etc.
As a fan of language, though, I just use it to indicate a longer than normal pause without the connotations of a full stop or; a semicolon. You're implying there's more to say, but you're leaving it unsaid. The bad thing is when people do that with everything, because they have nothing to say, and are implying they do.
>>5527583
Man. Yeah. You just articulated what I couldn't in my original post. Thanks, guy.
>>5527575
I think I was hooked after, in a horror game set on a spaceship, my imaginary dude heard a noise, and stopped with his gun pointed in front of him, and looked back, and this all happened independent of anything anyone else was saying or doing, and in my head, for that moment, I was that guy, and not sitting at a table surrounded by nerds.
And when you say or do something that makes it more real, and other people do as well, the looks on people's faces, the excitement in their voices, it all feeds back. It's a mental trick, but an insanely powerful one. Just gets into you and turns you into someone else for a bit. And that has value. For me, at least.
>>5527602
No problem dude.
>>5527632
I responded to you twice, separately, not knowing both responses were yours, and then you responded to both of mine in one and the conversation clicked for me. Ugh I'm so dumb.
Anyways, daaaaaaaaaaamn that sounds fun. I hadn't considered the horror aspect of it. I've been getting into that genre more recently.
>tfw no ftm boyfriend
>>5527681
hey bb
>>5527654
Horror games are the hardest to run. Sort of like how horror is hard to write/shoot. Gotta calibrate people to the right level of scared, but not so scared their brain shuts down. That guy, who ran the game, is probably the best GM in Sydney. I'm a big fan of his, actually.
And yeah, that's one of the good/bad things about 4chan I guess, the anonymous conversations. Only that comment was me, though, i'm not the tbqh guy. I'm the dislikes-tbqh-guy guy. Guy.
Yeah. I'ma get some coffee.
>>5527692
Jeez. I forget how much of a community there is around this stuff. Actually, recently, I got to go to a comics/puzzles/games store that was pretty rad, saw a lot of people sitting at reserved tables playing Munchkin and DnD and whatnot. What other games do you like?
Who ya callin' guy, pal? But yeah, in general I can differentiate writing styles (like with Brooklyn!) but sometimes there's just no telling who is who.
Have fun w/ your coffee, guy. :p
>>5525094
Definitely not worth it. Everyone has been really low-key about my transitioning at work (or at least to my face, apparently, which, okay, yeah, I can handle that.) Besides, it was in off-hours, it's not really their business or anything to do WITH the business.
>>5525281
Yeah, I did miss the opportunity. I don't handle people well, especially when I'm on the spot, so I tried to polite my way out of the situation because it's all I've been trained to do.
What feels so weird and fucked up about it was that he honestly seemed so enthused and excited about it and possibly for me??? That or he was being a creepy fuck. As he is, in all else, kind of a creepy fuck, it would not surprise me if that were the case. Maybe a little of column A and column B.
I don't work any shifts with him so it's not going to be a huge problem at work, I just have to either talk to him about it or hope to god I don't encounter him again outside of work.
>>5526456
>it sounds like that guy thought he was being supportive.
I'm starting to think he really fucking did. I just. I need to figure out how to sit him down and try to figure out how to tell him "HOLY FUCK NO DON'T DO THAT."
Probably this means he'll bitch about me later because when sober, he is a creature designed to complain, but if it means it doesn't happen again, it'd be worth it.
>>5523230
Do you think he was trying to make you feel emasculated so that he can feel superior to you?
>>5527941
I... did not get that vibe, really.
Honestly I'm pretty sure his interest in me at the time had more to do with the fact I was sitting with my roommate and her coworker, aka, two hot chicks. So, wahey, time to come over and do a little of that there work gossip and try to insert himself into the conversation!
This talk of tabletop RPGs is killing me. I recently came out to and, necessarily, broke up with my long-time (very heterosexual) boyfriend, and the breakup left me completely alienated. I've exiled myself from our friendly local gaming store and awesome D&D group so that he can continue to go there and not have it be awful and awkward. I feel fucking horrible about breaking up with this guy, so I'm trying to leave him with just about everything. I'm trying to make a clean break and completely start over, but some parts of my old life are proving very painful to leave behind.
I haven't been back to the gaming store since I cut off my hair and started T. I miss it so much. It was starting to feel like a second home, and going and playing D&D there was literally the only positive social activity I've ever engaged in during my near-decade of "adulthood." I wish I could go back there and be "one of the guys" with the D&D bros I used to play with, but I'm sure I'll always be "[my ex]'s weird ex" to them, and I don't want to make it weird. I was the only alleged non-male who played D&D there on a regular basis, and I never went without my ex. I don't think I'll ever be able to shed that old identity and go back there, and it's really getting me down.
This town is definitely big enough for the both of us, so I know I need to just get over it, but I can't stop thinking that maybe I should move to a different city entirely. This is my fucking home, though. My ex was the transplant.
>>5528205
Shit man, I'm sorry. That's pretty awful.
Are there any other shops in the area you can start going to?
>>5528224
Thanks. Yeah, there are some smaller stores farther away, but I don't have a car, and my ex goes to some of those stores, too. He DMs, so everyone around here knows him now. I have to be careful or I'm going to get sucked back into online gaming (ex-addict here). I've been so tempted lately, but I'm trying to focus on fitness and shit instead.
>Only get dysphoria sometimes
>when i get it its pretty bad tho
>rest of the time im ok with being a female
>fit in better with dykes than ftm
>i think the dysphoria is coming more often
>it would fuck up family/friend relationships if transitioned
>dont want to be a man without a dick
>absolutely not going to burden society with the genderfluiddemiboy bullshit
So I should just suck it up right??
>>5528256
Well damn
>>5528256
do you really have to avoid every store he might frequent? certainly he could show you the same courtesy & let you have a different space to yourself
>>5528303
just get on t already, don't waste your time worrying about your relationships or obsessing over labels. dysphoria doesn't just go away permanently, and it can't be suppressed either so stop trying
>>5528385
Yeah i dont know wtf im doing with my life. My friendships matter to me though because I already lost a ton of friends by getting into lots of fights last year, so the people I have left after my bullshit I've worked hard to keep in my life. Im just wondering if the cons outweigh the pros. Its not like ill ever have a dick so my thinking is, why make things harder on myself??
>>5527720
I went a little overboard.
>>5528205
That sucks, dude. The hobby tends to be insular, and nerds tend to be nerds, so that will be hard. But not impossible, you know?
>>5528429
Now that's some fuckin' coffee. Nice.
I got thrown off by your picture because it's light outside, then I remembered that you're in Straya.
>>5528415
why do you feel like it's not worth transitioning without a dick? i can get desperately wanting one, but don't you have other dysphoria that can be relieved?
>>5528472
Well yeah but my dysphoria will never be gone without a dick, so if i had to choose..
> 7/10 dysphoria with decent life and friends and sex
> 5/10 dysphoria with shit everything because of being trans
Id pick the good life and just deal with the occasional heart sinking feeling i guess
>>5528542
How do you know everything will be shit? Literally everyone I know has been great about my transitioning. Hell, I'm even sort of dating someone. It's not all bad.
>>5528552
Because I tried it, but when i said lol jk at least my family started talking to me again.
>>5528552
Im going to sleep friend, thanks for talking with me. Maybe ill come back tomorrow.
>>5528355
Nah, I don't have to. It's just really awkward. I was dating that guy for nearly a third of my life, and I still love him like crazy. He's such a good person that I feel like everyone's going to hate me for "doing this to him," though. I'm also extremely insecure about my appearance right now, and I'm hoping that, once I've been on T for longer, I'll have the confidence to start re-entering the world.
Goodnight legbutts.
>>5528701
Love you, anon.
Cis male scum here, I have a question. Do you guys get a lot of chasers like trans women so often do?
>>5528808
I don't think we get it as bad but when I go on Grindr I'd say that 75% of the guys who message me (without me messaging them first I mean) are chasers.
>>5528823
I find that interesting. Men generally develop FTM fetishes because they're more comfortable around dicks, but I wonder what would cause somebody to develop a MTF fetish. Especially if they identify as gay and go on Grindr.
I guess I can't really talk though since I have am cursed with an unreasonably strong attraction to butch tomboys.
Anyway, thanks for the answer.
>>5528871
I got my MTF and FTM swapped, oops. Time for bed.
>>5526516
I was on tumblr for a long time, trust me, it's a fucking shithole of insanity.
One time, some random tumblr user (who is black) made a post about how it's fine if you're white, and you shouldn't feel bad if other racist assholes give you a bad reputation. The entire website went up in fucking flames, and basically told the black guy he was wrong.
Now, this is tumblr, the social justice warrior white knight faggotry homeland chaulk full to the brim with 12 year old girls hellbent on saving the world from sexist white male supremacy, and they straight up went full retard and silenced a person of color because "they know better" than him.
It's just fucking pants on head level of pure autism.
>>5529123
Well, see, i'd disagree with that guy too. There's all kinds of discrimination and shit, against nearly every type of category of person. All of it has awful bits. This period of history will (if the species survives) be looked on with the same scorn we look at victorians or medieval period people with. As a civilization of cultures, we have a long fucking way to go.
But y'know, i'm certain their reasons weren't about the enlightenment of man and the need to push forward or anything but instead uh, stupider ones. Like, absolutely certain. Not because tumblr, but because people (currently) hate complexity and shrill outcry is nearly always - in fact entirely always - of the stupid variety.
>>5528452
In Straya the sun never sets on her Majesty's glorious Commonwealth.
God Save the Queen.
>>5527720
In terms of RPGs, Ars Magica, Rapture, Eclipse Phase, Shadowrun. DnD, partially for nostalgia reasons, partially because it is it's own thing now, a primal monster of a genre that just won't die. I haven't played anything else except in one-shots and con games, although in one-shots and con games i've played nearly everything.
>>5528205
Sorry to get you down mang. But like I said, it doesn't have to stop there. If you enjoy it, you can probably find some other people to game with. It won't be the same, but it might still be good, you know?
>>5527575
<3 you too...
>>5527559
i suppose that could be it... idk, my s/o thinks it's directed at him which is more likely... in spite of her knowing me since i was young she doesn't actually know me, and as dumb as it sounds i know how she tends to think and i usually have long hair so... yeah nah...
>>5527589
we're open cuz we've been together from a really young age, so we've never wanted to deny each other possible experiences outside of each other since most people get that normally... when someone is your first nearly everything, and then you're together throughout your life and monogamous... doesn't leave room for any other experiences you know? which isn't particularly appealing...
+ i don't think i'd ever be 100% capable of monogamy... like, i can go for long stretches of time and be fine with it, but then someone's gonna come along and shit just kinda ends up where it ends up
i prefer sharing though, like him and i dating someone together or even just threesomes are preferable to pursuing someone else and having it be me and them separate from him...
>>5527915
honestly, i'd just avoid it completely if i were you and hope it was just him being drunk and stupid... it's easier than making a big deal out of it days after it happened you know? especially cuz you won't have to deal with him at work...
Pouring one out for David Bowie.
>>5527915
Trying to fix people who are passive aggressive when you
>don't handle people well
is like learning breakdancing in a minefield. I'd not recommend it.
The way to handle it would be to regretfully take him aside the very next day and tell him that generally trans people prefer that people just treat them like regular people of that gender and not to discuss it unless absolutely necessary. And that chatting about it is a bit of a social faux pas. Like you wish you didn't have to inform him, but you're doing him a solid and letting him know. A 'dude, your fly is undone' sort of moment.
>>5529409
Monogamy is pretty much a construct of jealous people clinging onto relationships. It's an extremely common thing, and not worse than other 'stuff people do', but it's not inbuilt to our neural structure or anything. Not being monogamous isn't bad as long as it's not weird. Like one party wants nonmonogamy and the other doesn't or something.
Im bored.
>>5529346
Nice. I'll keep some of those in mind.
God, I want to visit Australia so badly. Seems like such an interesting place.
>>5529427
Fuck. How sad.
>>5529467
yeah i think it's something that needs to be mutually agreed on and revisited... i don't see anything wrong with someone preferring it, but it's not my thing and i'm open about that... and like if someone is interested they know about my s/o and vice versa cuz i don't want someone who doesn't get that when i go home it's to him and not them and all that shit...
>>5529427
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AFks9A9TCF0
not a fan, but this song always makes me think of puking in an empty apartment the first time i got puke drunk...
>>5529494
It always bugs me that people care when famous people die, who live better lives than most people, but not when those who live shit lives die. I get why it happens. Still bugs me.
>>5529486
It's interesting, especially to people from other places, lot of tourist traps though. I'd say just rent a hilux and go out bush, but people from other continents do not understand basic outback survival shit like 'don't go swimming in the waterhole', 'don't pick up the wooden thing with the concealed underside with your bare hand in redback country', 'don't go driving down some road you don't know with no radio, not much gas, and no water', etc.
Amazing surfing if you surf. Melbourne's pretty rad. Good parties if you know where to go. Pretty wilderness, lots of different kinds, although spread out.
>>5529567
So, like, common sense, then? I think that'd be really rad, but I gotta admit, I'm a little bitch about bugs and spiders. I do love some good parties, though, lol.
>>5529609
Dunno how common it is. Tourists, man. Like actual lemmings.
>>5529502
It causes some degree of friction with people, because it's not the norm, and anything outside the norm people will derp around and not know the appropriate thing to do.
But people act like there needs to be a 'reason' for it, and you don't need a big dark secret reason to do something completely reasonable. The pressure of normality is largely illusory.
It's funny to have to say that on 4chan's lgbt board, heh.
Hey my attention seeking "ftm." when you ladies grow out of this phase please know you are holding back the trans community.
Sincerely a brave mtf
>>5529664
yeah i'm pretty used to explaining it to people, been doing it for years... and the occasional "oh your relationship doesn't count" or "so not a real relationship" or "i guess you aren't enough for each other" or "i need to be enough for someone" or like comments about how we must not really love each other etc
i feel pretty whatever about it though desu... i mean, i know my feelings and i know his, and we've been really close for a long time... like going on family vacations and shit with each other before we were dating... we were like siblings before anything, and that sentiment is still there... so there's some level of unconventional emotions i suppose, but that's part of why i call him my s/o and not my bf or even my fiance in spite of us being engaged for years (we always talk about getting married, and then we just haven't... but he's talking about it again and more seriously cuz of all my health issues, so within the year we might actually do that) cuz we plan on spending our lives together, but not with the shit that tends to come with those labels...
i'd rather do something that works for me than what people think i should do... cuz i just really don't give a shit about what other people think for the most part, there's no need for it unless they're gonna live my life for me...
>>5529567
it's not really a matter of their life quality though... it's more that famous people are more likely to have an impact on those people's lives through their work and shit... so people mourn them when they've enjoyed them, the life quality thing is a separate issue, and so are the conditions of those other people (though i know plenty of people who get genuinely upset over news articles about non celebrity deaths and shit)
>>5529427
This is almost as bad as lemmy
>>5529819
Honestly it sounds more reasonable to me than nearly any 'normal' relationship. Being close to someone and wanting to be close to them seems more logical and more natural than most people's status/sex shit they do.
>>5529827
They mourn them because knowing shit about people, or thinking you do, tricks your brain into thinking you know them personally/have a connection. It's why people care so much about celebrities and so little about people they didn't listen to sing well at a concert one time. If it was purely artistic appreciation, i'd have no issue with it, but it's pretty obviously not. It's not specifically bowie, I have this issue every time a celebrity dies, gets married, has a baby, whatever. I don't think people should care unless they know the person personally, or because of the lack of forthcoming artistic work from the person due to circumstances.
>>5529846
it depends on the person really... you aren't wrong about some people, but yeah... i can't say i've ever felt affected enough by a celebrity death to mourn, or anything past a "damn that's too bad" so idk
but i also think it's stupid and invasive to care about their day to day lives so eh...
>>5526572
Looks like you're blending just fine.
>tfw you have the doki dokis for a guy you see in person only once a year
it hurts ftmg
>constantly horny as all fuck
>dysphoria usually too bad to try and fap
>the times it becomes so unbearable I force myself to do it
>orgasm tends to be underwhelming as fuck
Is T cream as effective as the shots? I've been on the cream for a while now and I feel like ever since the switch, I've made no progress whatsoever. I'm also feeling more "emotional" like I did pre-T which is frustrating. Doc says my levels are fine though, but I don't feel fine at all.
>>5530591
jesus anon this is me. i fap through the dysphoria and then feel like total shit when i'm done. and the orgasms suck too.
>>5530591
I got both of the mini penetratables from frisky-beast which helps a FUCK ton with dysphoria when fapping. I highly recommend them, they're made specifically with ftms in mind.
>>5530622
if your levels are normal, then it's not to do with the cream but with your body. t is t once it gets in there
could there be other causes for your issues? malnutrition or a mental health issue popping up again or something?
>>5530642
how mini are we talking here? i have two different wanking sleeves that i bought because they were recommended by ftms but neither of them work for me. i grew a pretty good amount on T but the sleeves are still too big for me, and the way my labia are connected to my body makes it so that i can't really penetrate anything because they're in the way :/
i'm not sure there exists a sex toy that would work for me honestly. :(
>>5530779
I thought that too, I bought that 'brosleeve" thing and it was way too big, but these work. I just have to stop up the hole at the top and BAM it works fuckin perfect. I didn't even get THAT much growth on T, too.
Here's some comparison pictures on their tumblr, they also have the dimensions listed on their site.
http://frisky-beast.tumblr.com/post/134101066868/at-the-request-of-a-few-anons-size-comparison
http://frisky-beast.tumblr.com/post/128612819328/1-definitely-well-update-the-measurements-on
>>5523177
love how they just skip to the suicide, like he didn't get the truth from his parents, almost but didn't kill the doc that botched the circumcision, how he got better, married, adopted children
THEN he had financial problems and offed himself
I know it's bad, but that was not the end I was expecting, I read the book before he an heroed, then when the news came out I laughed out loud and my mother (who I was visiting at the time) called me a monster
>>5525094
>wants to be a man
>suggest least manly way of handling situation
>>5529664
Haha, I can imagine. Dallas doesn't usually get a whole lot of tourists, so I don't have any first hand experience.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
So that really attractive transman I was really starting to get into something with told me that hes not ready for a relationship and apologized for letting me think that stuff was gonna happen.
I'm super bummed right now. I'm just going to give up dating for now I think. Dating as a transwoman fucking sucks.
>>5532209
Did he say why he's not ready? I can sympathize with him in that regard. I've had to turn people down because I was just straight up not ready for one, in many ways. The worst part is when someone takes it personally because you definitely don't intend to hurt them.
>>5530642
Different anon, but thank you so much for this - I'd never heard of these and I want one of those pocket Snowbird ones ASAP. Although, as a non-furry, the image of fucking some sort of fantasy bird-creature is something I'll have to try to wipe from my mind.
My libido was a zero before I started T, to the point where I thought of myself as being more or less asexual, and, despite all of the "warnings," I didn't really expect I'd find myself this horny this often this quickly.
>>5532240
No, but I think its relating to him being trans. He was pretty early in still so I told him no hard feelings and thanks for the really enjoyable dates and that if he ever felt like dating he could ask me out because I didn't harbor any ill will.
>>5532242
Different person here
I agree. Like, those look like a grand idea, but maybe I should stick to one that isn't reminiscent of bestiality.
>>5529467
>A 'dude, your fly is undone' sort of moment.
Fuck, I wish I'd thought of that earlier.
Thanks, man. If it comes up again that's how I'll handle it.
Today I learned how to contour my face to look more masculine, which was nice.
>>5532242
not calling you a woman or trolling, but are most females like this?
>>5533224
I never understood why anyone would want to rely on makeup, especially when it'll just come off when it really matters and you'll just look fucking alien to the other person. That goes for women and men.
>>5533248
Yes. Female bodied people and people on estrogen may as well be asexual, the difference in libido is THAT big.
>>5533352
well, i wouldn't say that. not everyone experiences a huge change in libido - i barely noticed any difference at all
>>5533352
i'm pretty sure that's not true... i'm always up for sex... even when i'm sick as fuck and exhausted i have a fucking energy reserve for sex, and i'm horny pretty much 24/7 to the point where it's actually kinda shitty... so it's gotta be pretty fucking varied
unrelated: jager tastes awful, but somehow doesn't bother my stomach... i wish whiskey was more like it or it was more like whiskey...
>>5533248
When I was living as a "totally normal heterosexual cis female" (that didn't work out so well), I got the sense that I had a lower libido than most women, but I don't know. I was expecting some change when I started T, but I've been taken aback by the magnitude of the change. Probably TMI, but I've gone from masturbating a few times a month (sometimes I'd go months at a time without anything) to multiple times a day.
>>5533398
There's no such thing as "TMI" on 4chan, my friend.
>>5533418
that can't be true...
would any of you guys talking about PnP be interested in getting something going?
>i'm never gonna have a dick
>i will never mercilessly fuck a femboy
>>5533724
?? i don't have a dick but i've mercilessly fucked several femboys in my day anon, that's what strap-ons are for
>>5533779
>tfw i will never be mounted by a qt ftm
>>5533540
>PnP
You mean DnD?
I for one would be down. I can and have DM'ed and played: AD&D, 3.0, 3.5, PF, 4e, Next/5th, SW Saga, a couple FATE Core/Acc based games...
>>5533248
Female libido is lower than male libido, and triggered differently, but females also are trained to pretend not to want sex by other females around them.
Most people takign T also had depression/dysphoria/other hormonal issues that caused a lowered or increased libido, though.
Also there's just not good data on the subject.
>>5533274
Cause if you know what you're doing, it looks amazing. Sadly, most don't.
>>5533194
No worries dude. The main thing is to keep it friendly, casual, like you don't want to have to say something that could be taken badly, and to offer a fist bump afterwards.
>phalloplasties will never be good
why live
>>5533968
a while ago i heard about the guy who got the world's first successful penis transplant managed to successfully impregnated his girlfriend/wife
maybe if we ever make progress on stem cell research you'll be able to grow your own dick and get it attached
>>5533985
I'm 28 now
by the time that happens I'll be too old to care
>>5533990
but then you can be a silver daddy with a literal horse cock
the golden age of animal genitalia ftms is just a few decades away
>>5533997
I'm scared of you anonymous
you stay away from me with your gorilla organs
>>5533384
> Doctor tells you strictly no alcohol, looks at you seriously to enforce that he means business
>tell doctor you don't drink anyway
>looks at you like you're lying
>is shocked that you mean it
>looks away to hide consternation and secretly pleased that patient is doing healthy thing
I know a bartender - cool guy - who stopped drinking for a year, just to prove he could. What's up with your stomach?
Can you relate to pic related?
>>5534510
I can't say I've ever torn myself asunder, especially during what seems to be some sort of party or get together. That'd just ruin the mood.
>>5534520
Hey you never know what might have happened when you had a few too many drinks, bud
Whatever happened to box destroyer?
>>5534561
>box destroyer
wat
>>5534574
There was a dude here, around the time of cheese and crackers, who destroyed boxes.
>>5534561
>'too many drinks'
Do you know where you are, friend? I am a machine.
>>5534632
I wanna to put that to the test, fruitcake
>>5534639
I grew up in a russian community. Surely that and my public intoxication charges have to count for something.
>>5534651
Still want to test it, buddy.
We'd have "public drunkness" laws here in the UK, but everyone would be arrested.
>>5534156
i quit drinking for about a year when i first got lyme cuz of the way alcohol can affect me...it still does so it's a bit like playing russian roulette, but even when it doesn't (and i mean like...loss of balance after less than it takes to get me drunk, feeling too drunk after barely drinking, neck stiffness,headaches, ears popping, excruciating pain in my jaw etc) do that it usually fucks my stomach for a bit...just like more pain and burning than usual...
idk what's wrong...no insurance and i can't go to a doctor, and the hospital is no help cuz i need a specialist and it's chronic
i had pre-existing stomach issues since i was young (but when i was a kid every time i bitched about my stomach my parents thought i was trying to get out of school so i got the shit beaten out of me and dragged to school instead of being taken to the doctor cuz "you don't have a fever so you can't be sick") that got worse when i was a teenager and in my early 20's (like every couple of months i'd get these really awful stomach cramps and such that i could feel all the way through to my back, and i'd usually end up vomiting from the pain or it'd be like tons of pain + vomiting + a complete inability to eat or drink anything other than like a sip of water every couple of hours for days... ended up in the hospital with it before, but nothing was actually done other than pain killers and being told to see a specialist), since i got lyme stomach/intestinal issues have been more frequent and since the lyme treatment it's been constant
there's always at least constant low grade pain, there's numbness, burning, i can point out certain specific spots that have the most shit wrong with them... i get weird pain other parts of my body (particularly my wrist it's weird) that's the exact sorta pain that i'll get in my intestines when they're particularly bad... eating can be painful etc my mother insists it's crohn's cuz she has crohn's and i've discussed it
with her... but idk
>>5534574
he was a transguy who posted a pic when the general/board first started that was named boxdestroyer of him at work destroying boxes... then he disappeared and someone found his tumblr...
not very interesting, but yeah...
>>5534718
Late last year, I had some things go wrong with my gut. Huge pain after eating, dizziness, nausea, constant low grade pain, dizziness, nausea. Had every test under the sun, was in hospital for a week (public healthcare in my country, so was saved from exploitative private health), gastroscopy, various rays, scans, ultrasound, etc. Barium meal radioactive tests (that was private). Was gonna get surgery at one point.
Turns out it was probably (certainties, hah!) coeliac disease + lactose intolerance. Still no idea. Still low grade pain, nausea. But avoiding wheat and lactose entirely has stopped the pain attacks. But it hurt worse than when I broke my tibia, and I broke that bone up the length, spiral fracture. Hurt worse than appendicitis, and that nearly burst. The nausea meant I couldn't focus well enough to block it out or do anything about it. Gut problems are the fucking worst.
And they're hard to diagnose, hard to test for, etc. There's a lot of phantom gut problems, too, that never have a successful diagnosis. So yeah, that sucks. Why do you drink if it adds to it, though?
>>5534660
I think the russki wins.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_alcohol_consumption_per_capita
>>5534814
i'm actually vegan (except honey) already, and with lyme gluten is out anyway... but there's stuff that kills my stomach that i'm just not willing to give up completely (like broccoli, brussel sprouts, rice) pretty much all i can eat without adding to me feeling sick is peanut butter, bananas, and then liquids for the most part... but even without that it's tends to suck anyway
that's shit that you're still not sure what's going on though... i've got thousands of dollars in medical debt and nothing though, not looking to add to it either... on the bright side if all goes well i'll be able to get some shit done within the year and maybe get some answers, it's possible that this is a combination of lyme + whatever's wrong to begin with
i drink cuz either way i'm gonna feel sick, and i hate being sober + sometimes i don't have enough weed and alcohol is what's available + the codeine was inaccesible last night but the jager was by my bed from 2 days ago...
>>5534867
+ sometimes alcohol really fucks me up, but other times i'm alright... jager hasn't gotten me sick at all yet... like today i'm the same as i have been without drinking so eh...
i tend to stick to wine though cuz i've had a decent amount of luck with that... vodka is always a bad choice, but to be fair that's always been true even before shit got this bad
>>5534867
When did you go vegan? What effect did it have on the stomach stuff? Sorry if i'm asking too many questions, just interested in this due to my own recent gut problems. Always had an ironclad stomach before them. Could eat anything, no problems.
Whole thing's given me the heeby-jeebies.
And yeah, I get not wanting to be sober if you're in pain and sick feeling all the time. Not having effective pain relief for what I went through with the gut stuff was awful.
>>5535395
i've been vegan off/on for idk... over a year... i never liked milk, haven't had butter in years, started getting weird reactions to eggs after the lyme treatment (allergic reactions, vomiting, all that fun shit), and with cheese... idk it just started to gross me out...
i have noticed a slight decrease in pain, but unrelated to my stomach... honestly the only thing that ever seems to help that has been avoiding solid food altogether on/off
>>5535438
+ it's pretty much just if i eat there's pain... i can only get shit done during the day before i eat so i only eat late afternoon-evening at this point cuz it's fucked otherwise
>>5535445
+ when i don't eat there's pain anyway, but like... any solid food makes it hurt more and some worse than others... like broccoli, onions, brussel sprouts, salad fucking kills me...
that's not to say it wouldn't help you though... cuz it might... idk though i was a vegetarian for years even before all this so i have no idea whether or not eliminating meat would do you any good
Well friends, I've packed all that I can carry into a suitcase and backback and am about to be homeless and nearly broke until the 23rd. It's cold and rainy outside and I want to die. There's also the chance that me moving into this apartment on the 23rd will fall through somehow, and then I'll really be fucked.
The alternative is apologizing to my mother for existing and being trans, groveling for her forgiveness for hurting her poor little feelings by calling her a bigot (once, when she was acting like a fucking bigot), and staying with my parents until then. I can't make myself do it. I don't want her in my life. I don't think I can even bring myself to talk with her, let alone apologize for things that I shouldn't have to apologize for. For the first time EVER, I'm starting to feel good about myself, and I'm not going back to being a doormat who apologizes for absolutely everything out of fear and shame and who lives their life according to what will make others happy and what will "rock the boat" the least. My father expects me to put myself back in that role. I just can't.
Many, many people (including psychiatrists, psychologists, and social workers) to whom my sibling and I have talked with about our mother says that it sounds like she has BPD. A few days ago, she literally told my dad that, if he didn't side with her 100% against me and my "psychosis" (being trans), she was going to leave, write everyone out of her will and leave everything to charity, and then kill herself. I can't even believe this is happening.
I've never been homeless before and, honestly, I'm scared. Right now, I look like either a young butch lesbian or maybe a very young femme boy, and I don't have anything to defend myself with except for a fairly pointy and long umbrella. I think I'm going to go to the nearby army surplus/outdoor store and get a decent knife, at the very least, along with some waterproof shit, of which I have none...fuck, I can't believe this is happening.
>>5535563
christ, that's awful, good luck. your mom sounds dangerous & terrible, i'm glad you're trying to stay away from her. do you at least have friends' couches to rotate between until you get the apartment? or are you going to have to deal with shelters & shit?
>>5535563
if you still look femme you could probably crash at a local women's center although it sounds like you live in a shitty small town in the middle of nowhere rather than near a city
>>5535563
Jesus christ.
1. Shelters and shit. Look that shit up now/at somewhere you can get online, ring them, see if they have a bed. Women's shelters are a thing - yeah, I know, but needs must. Sleeping outside is fucking dangerous unless you know how.
2. LGBT support/youth support groups. Try to find any that are local. They will have places for people who've been kicked out of home/left home due to it, or at least might be able to help by putting you onto LGBT people you can rent a room from.
3. Tell us where you're at. I've got a spare room, and it's free for short stays for a good cause. I'm sure there's a few other people here that could put you up, if you're local to them.
4. Keep us posted. I've lived through that shit, not knowing where your next meal is coming from, malnutrition, barricading yourself in somewhere and hoping you wake up without anybody bursting in you, but i'm in a decent spot now, and if you're totally fucked I can afford to send you a few hundred bucks and call it money well spent.
>>5535563
i've slept outside before and it was alright, i was in brooklyn and it was summer though + i had places to crash in between... churches aren't bad places to sleep, neither are bus stations and shit like that... you should see if there's shelters near you and depending on your age (a lot of shit stops once you hit 24) you might be able to find a place at one of those...
where are you though? cuz it's a lot easier to tell you where you could go or to help you with that knowledge...
in all honesty this is probably the better choice for you given your current circumstance, but it's not exactly an easy one...
+ in most cases unless you know how to use it effectively a knife isn't gonna do you much good... and you're better off wrapping your shit in plastic inside your bags than you are getting a bunch of waterproof shit... that's money you might need for food or something that might come up...
and if it comes down to it, hopefully you're good at lifting shit...
Hey /ftm/ help me out with something. A guy I work with keeps flirting with me and I kind of like him but I think he might actually be trans. How do I find out if that's the case? Is it rude to just ask or is there some polite way of asking?
Hey guys, do any of you recommend underworks or gc2b?
>>5535941
What makes you think he's trans?
>>5536829
He's short and skinny, has kind of a higher pitched voice (and it sounds like he tries to talk deeper), and I don't think I've ever seen him with facial hair. Also just the way he acts I dunno.
>>5536969
kick him in the balls
>>5537171
This. It's is a fool proof way to know if he's trans or not.
>>5537182
hide cameras in the bathroom stalls, secretly photograph his genitals
>>5537469
Not really sure what you're aiming for here. There's no, like secret code. Most transguys just want to be treated like guys. If it's actually relevant, like you're going to ask him out on a date, just ask the question. Maybe he'll get offended, maybe he won't. If he's not trans, maybe he'll get offended, maybe he won't. It is inherently a tricky subject.
>>5536787
I have an Underworks Tri-top Chest Binder (http://www.underworks.com/collections/extreme-series-compression/tri-top-chest-binder) and I really like it. It's difficult to get on and off, but once it's on, I'm almost completely flat, and it's not uncomfortable.
I'm so sick of binding, though. I'm eagerly anticipating top surgery, but I just scheduled my consult with the surgeon, and it isn't until May. She's that booked. Who knows how long I'll have to wait for the actual surgery. I wish I could do something to speed this shit up.
>>5537469
stop bothering with other peoples business.
just because your trans, doesn't mean other trans people want you to know
>>5533248
pre everything, but mine comes and goes...sometimes ill fap 1-2, maybe even 3 times a day every day for two weeks, then another couple weeks will go by and i wont have any urges at all, unless i'm really bored but it takes more effort. probably has something to do with menstruation but actually keeping track of that stuff makes me uncomfortable.
>>5537656
Eh. If you're going to date a transguy, you should know. Some people can't deal with it. Those people shouldn't date transguys.
>>5537582
How big is your chest, if you don't mind me asking?
>>5537665
I'm pretty much the same as you. I try not to think about it as well because like you said it probably is something to do with the hormones I don't even want in my body.
Gimme dat T already. Fuck.
>>5535941
idk... i've been asked, and i've just been like "yeah" as long as i can tell the person doesn't give a shit, i don't give a shit... but that's me... other people get offended or upset and shit...
>>5537978
I think I'm like a 32B? I haven't bought a "real" bra with cups in a long time. I don't have very big breasts, but they're definitely noticeable and bothersome to me if I don't wear a binder.
>>5536787
never used a gc2b, but i've got an underworks... it works well enough, but even the smallest size is a little big on me... idk if they run big or not, but that's something to consider i guess...
on the bright side no one knows the difference between me binding or not... i can get away with just a baggy shirt though...
Well FTM Gen, it's been a while. Gay married FTM here. Or. Divorcing FTM here. Yup... Been away a few months and I have just had the shittiest day.
11am. Woke up and started staring at my pre-T body in the mirror. It is a body most women would kill for, and it's so pretty, and yet I feel nothing but disconnect and hatred.
Midday. Set off for work, bought my 3rd pack of reds in 4 days, then stepped out in front of a car. Got hit, went down, told the driver I was fine and to go, and continued to work like nbd.
1pm. Got sent home from work.
2pm. Bought a bottle of vodka. Downed it neat. This mixed with my Prozac and the pain meds I took for my foot at work.
3pm. Puking my guts up. Haven't eaten since Sunday. Bile and vodka and whatever else is all coming out of me. Ring ex husband, laughing and shouting about my body and me being a waste of skin and a mistake. He hangs up.
4pm. Throw myself into the shower then go to bed.
5pm. My housemate comes home. I finally eat and sober up.
7pm. Wake up from a nap, damage control, and go back to sleep.
Now 1am and about to return to bed. Can't sage bc mobile app. I haven't sought medical attention yet. Completely sober now.
