Hi legbutts,
I'm looking for some advice. So I've been dating this guy for five years now. (We're both cis men) He's really a great guy who's so caring and loving and really goes out of his way to make my life better. We met when we were really young; he was my second boyfriend, and I'm his first and only.
For a long time, we've been really happy. We've met each other's parents, who approve of our relationship. I've actually met his entire family, and they have been so sweet and kind to me. We're talking about living together, getting married, and having kids.
The thing is: I've been having thoughts about hooking up with other guys. I think it's because we were so young when we started dating. I don't know what to do; I feel like if I talk to him, he won't really understand. He's a bit self conscious, thinking that I am much more attractive than he is (I don't think that's true) and he's suspicious (I don't blame him, even though I haven't actually ever cheated on him).
How do I move forward? What should I do?
tell him what you just told the internet and let him cry it out
don't live on lies, anon
>>5438197
Have you tried spicing things up? Maybe roleplaying or costcost? Maybe an adventure vacation? There's some boredom that is inevitable and those are common solutions. The other possibility is that you aren't feeling satisfied. Lots of people cheat for emotional escape. He sounds a little exhausting. Is it stress from that?
>>5438218
*Costumes. Predictive keyboards can eat my bulge.
>>5438197
>been dating this guy for five years now.
>The thing is: I've been having thoughts about hooking up with other guys.
EVERY.
FUCKING.
TIME.
Open relationship OP, if he doesn't want it, and I'm pretty sure he won't, just break up with him and get severals fuckbuddies for the rest of your life.
>>5438197
it’s normal to have second thoughts about relationships sometimes but is fucking other guys worth crushing what you have already?
if you feel generally unfulfilled with your current boy, then you can consider leaving him after carefully trying to understand why and what you’re missing.
it's usually easier to say leave your current bf if youre saying you aren’t happy in a relationship but this may just be a case of the hornies – five years is a long time to not let your eyes wander and your heart wonder what it may be like with someone else. maybe you just need to get banged by your man while wearing a wig and calling each other names?
>>5438197
well people get that feeling sometimes. try to find that spark that made you more attracted to him in the first place. it's kind of a shitty time to abandon ship when you haven't trie to remedy the problem with your bf
>>5438218
I think that you might be onto something about the stress... there are slivers of his personality that bother me that he hasn't really changed. I haven't been great at communicating how those kinds of things can harm our relationship.
>>5438595
Are open relationships sustainable, OP? Personally, I think it's a bit out of the question: he's made it clear he absolutely doesn't want to share with anyone. I was just wondering-- I've never met anyone in an open relationship who has actually been together for a long period of time.
>>5438612
(OP) You're right-- I do need to find what I'm missing before I risk losing someone.
I think...I might have this desire to be with other guys because I'm hoping to find that missing piece in someone else.
i've had the same thoughts you have, OP.
and i honestly regret it. i ruined my relationship many years ago and havent had the same special feeling for someone since.
dont do what i did for some cheap thrills and ruin something magnificent.
>>5438720
Makes sense. What do people really go after when they cheat? It's not sex. You probably have regular sex. It's what seems to be uncomplicated and free affection. You're being spoiled in a little getaway.
So you can't run away. You have needs and feelings you're not communicating with your partner. This is what you must do or resentment will grow.
Sounds scary but honestly this might all go away if he processes it, chills a bit, and spoils you like he's an expensive manwhore once in while.
>>5438797
I think I'm kind of scared? That maybe I'll regret not having fun with other people? We're both still in our mid-20s. I think it's hard to find others I can relate to and talk with since everyone my age has never been a relationship as long as we have...
>>5438840
I think you really understand how this relationship is worth working on. It's so important to me.
But is there a line? Do I love him because it's really love and he's the one for me? Or is our attachment and our bond so strong because we just don't know other gay guys very well? (We live in a small conservative town; all of our friends are women).
I don't want to be complacent or settle, thinking "yeah, we've been together for this long, it'll be a waste to back out now."
>>5438197
>found the right guy
>thinking about cucking him because slut
Why are you still asking stop thinking like a slut you idiot.
