Grew up in a right wing religious family. Always known I'm attracted to guys, but I completely don't understand how I should go about it. Kept it suppressed for most of my life, but I can only image growing old and loving another male. I know it ill never happen, and I want to die because everything seems so pointless. I live alone, and loathe my existence every day. And every day time just keeps ticking by...
When I visit friends, I have to be drunk. And I'm known as "the happy outgoing" guy. But I'm literally just crushed on the inside. I'm not sure why I haven't killed myself yet. Maybe I'm scared too. Either way, there is nothing for me to look forward too, and there is no way to "change".
I hate myself, and I hate my life.
This is karma for being the jock asshole who bullied the gay students I crushed on. I deserve this.
So hows your holiday, /lgbt/?
If you live alone, why don't you date and fuck guys? Dweeb. Quit making up problems.
>>5435498
I'm not interested in what they are... I dont just ant a hookup. I want something real. In this city, that doesn't exist.
>>5435486
The thing about killing yourself is you can always do it later. It's very convenient like that. So before you do, why not try the gay dating? Why not explore this and see what happens? You are wise enough to know life has surprises you can't always see coming. Maybe you'll be surprised. Worst case: you can always an hero later.
>>5435507
That has nothing to do with coming from a conservative family, that's just a regular gay problem. Sorry bae, most of us are there.
>>5435515
>You can always do it later
Morbidly refreshing...
>>5435517
I know, it's just may "gay side" wasn't really embraced. I know nothing about it other than I'd like to spend my life with a nice adorable guy.
>>5435486
what city you live in? i know its hard to find relationships, but thats anywhere, not just cities. here we have ample guys, so we tend to slut it up to enjoy em all. in small towns they are more relationship oriented cuz they dont have as many options, but because of that you have to deal with the limited options.
why not just come out? worse they can do is disown you, but they'll be dead while you are enjoying your husband.
or just keep it relevant. let them figure it out. go marry a man and just only tell people if they actually need to know. thats what i do.
my friends have unknowingly met two of my boyfriends.
>>5435566
It's not that I'd be disoned. They are very authentic in their Christianity (they dont jusge others or call people sinners or that hate filled bs). It would be...awkward, but that would likely be it. It's just that homosexuality as an option was never really explored or touched on. I live in west michigan, there are a few gay bars here but one is for older men, and the other is a ghetto night club. Neither of which are to my liking. The "gay scene" seems so...fake and shallow.
I just want a pure, authentic relationship.
>>5435605
Disowned**
>>5435605
Look online, If you are going to keep closing your options that will be your problem. not saying those are not valid complaints just be aware
>>5435637
Where should I go?
>>5435667
You have grindr, scruff, hornet, tinder, adam4adam, jack'd, and the list goes on.
Not everyone on apps are out looking for hookups. If you don't even attempt you'll at least never find anyone. Good luck bb.
>>5435486
You can get a train or bus cheap to Ann Arbor. Doesn't get gayer than that in your state. Most rate it as a top rainbow city. Dick around there. Look at all the surprising adventures you can have pre-suicide. All I did was Google so come one man. Why not take advantage of this open window?
>>5435605
i feel ya. btu theres a lot of the guys in your area who feel the same way but simply dont know what to do about it, so they keep using options like awful bars, awful apps, awful websites etc. to find someone.
i never thought id meat anyone off of a place like craigslist, but ive had two long term meaningful relationships come out of posting there, with some really great guys. yet to meet a bar bf though.
>>5435838
Hm, maybe I should try it... My standards are kinda off though...
>>5435486
Poor boy. Take heart. You ought to believe that you can change. That belief will motivate you. Expectations shape out actions which shape our outcomes.
You deserve to live a happy life, despite what the values of your shitty family are.
Tell yourself this, be a rebel, and have joyous sex with other males. It was what you were put on this earth to do!
>>5435855
Uhm, thanks for the motivation, but I really hope I'm here for more than just fucking random guys...
>>5435866
Sure sure. I should have used the word "love". You were here to love them.
Listen to you heart. Trust how it makes you feel, the butterflies that spring up when you imagine yourself with the male love of your life.
>>5435486
Oh man, It doesn't have to be so bad. I'm from a really religious southern family too and have done the whole fronting as an extroverted drunk troublemaker thing just like you. I don't know what it's like for you but for me just owning my own decisions mistakes, life,etc made it a lot easier when I met someone. They all fucking hate it but that's their problem. I have my own place and job (like you) so I don't really need their approval anyway. Keep your head up man!!!!! Everything will be ok!! Go on OkCupid or whatever and find someone. There's gotta be someone for everyone. If I can do it you can
>>5435911
Is....is that a guy fighting a deer?
>>5436074
Yes. And losing badly I might add.
>>5436211
Oh wow...
