Hi /lgbt/
I always used to say that I would try about anything twice, but never would I consider being gay. I was in a relationship with a girl for four years, but I was in a deep depression for a while and over my lifetime it caused me to be delusional. She left me, and I became extremely lonely.
I say this because I went to a party and me and some other guy were being told to kiss the whole night by this really drunk nutty lady. We didn't in front of her, but we met later that night and kissed with tongue and all for a good 5-10 seconds. There was another party at the same place and he was there. We ended up talking for a while and then making out for a long time. We were going to go a lot farther, but I was really drunk and at that point I had to pee a lot (I hate having to pee when I'm doing anything sexual, and that's all I was thinking about). If I didn't have to pee we definitely would have done a lot more.
I am wondering how other people realized they were something they didn't expect to be, or if people always felt a certain way and society repressed them. I question if my feelings were genuine, or if I was just lonely and an opportunity presented itself. I haven't really noticed much difference in the way guys look. I learned to just appreciate everyone's looks equally, but I often only think about getting with girls. I don't really go up to girls anyways, but I don't think I would go up to a gay,or bi guy if I knew he was (that may just be because I am shy). I rationalized that I would never want to be in a long term relationship with a guy because I want children of my own genes (granted there are other ways of doing that, but I also felt it may be important to have a wife if we ever had a daughter).
For some reason I assume this is a common thing. I don't associate with being bisexual for these reasons. I guess I want to know what you all think, or what your experiences are.
Pic unrelated.
>>5372371
holy shit that looks tasty
>>5372394
It was! Tomato, cucumber, avocado, lettuce, red onion, textured vegetable protein (often abbreviated TVP) & if I remember correctly apple cider vinegar. This is a pic from a while ago.
>>5372402
>tfw ive been eating pasta and rice for weeks
I need a salad asap
>>5372410
I did put a little bit of fruit into it ;D
>>5372422
Salad is important ._.
>>5372371
Why didn't you pee and THEN go further?
Anyways, the feelings were always there in retrospect but I didn't realize it until I looked at gay porn for the first time since I was 10 (when I had looked at a bunch of porn of all types then). Id watch Skinimax stuff on TV and be kinda disappointed that you didn't see more of the guys. When I was in 11th grade I stumbled on gay porn for the first time and it just felt natural. Like "This is what I want". It spread from there.
>>5372446
Because I literally kept having to pee. It was like:
>pee
>go upstairs
>have to pee again
>wtf
happened like 7 times and then we went to bed. I spent the whole time rubbing his back until I fell asleep.
>>5372446
I also remember saying that I felt bad that he had to wake up early for work. I really should have just dealt with it. I have been thinking that I've wanted to try sucking a dick since, because it blows my mind that someone would do it, so I wonder what it's like.
>>5372479
You have to be a person who is able to get in the mindset of wanting to please the person with the dick. I get kind of a rush out of seeing a guy reacting to and enjoying me blowing him. I like to see them get into it and start thrusting more. I honestly find sucking a guy to be more exciting mentally than being sucked, though physically a good blow job feels amazing.
For me a huge part of sex is mental, and blowjobs and rimjobs are like the epitome of that.
>>5372371
Yeah, you might just be the regular about of bisexual. Meaning not enough to go shouting about.
As for me, in hindsight I knew by about 10. I might green text it later, but basically my best friend was my lil bf. My feelings and actions were not straight.
Dad wasn't around much, and closeted bi. He vastly overcompensated so my superficial image of a man was an alcoholic womanizer who shoots things. Mom seemed terrified of sex around me. She denied my puberty well into my 20's. Shit was funny in hindsight. Point being, I repressed hard. Gayness and all sexuality for a while, then eventually got back to the truth. Also Southern US high school so that didn't help with repression. The denial really doesn't feel like denial at the time man. Just discontent and terrible/no relationships.
