This is the Trans Help General thread. We'll try to help you here with everything related to being transgender.
This includes questioning, appearance, daily trans problems, medical info, general info and other interesting stuff to name a few.
MTF, FTM and questioning people are all welcome here to help eachother and discuss possible solutions.
You can also share your transgender related stories here. Just came out? Or you just need to get something off your chest?
Maybe something wonderful happened today! We'll be glad to hear it, it's always good to know we're not going through this alone.
Links:
Articles, Studies and General information about Questioning, Transitioning and other stuff: http://pastebin.com/CyW1dXV8
Lots of useful links about/for transgender people: http://pastebin.com/h1vLPxyV
Transgender FAQ: http://pastebin.com/8QbKyShU
Am i trans/ trans help threads archive:
http://archive.loveisover.me/lgbt/search/text/trans%20help%20general%20%23/username/annicole/type/op/
Therapists: http://www.t-vox.org/index.php?title=Therapists_by_region
http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php
sort by transsexual issues
What will hormones do?
mtf: http://imgur.com/lDBLSVR
ftm: http://imgur.com/HqTqvJg
Previous thread: >>5327905
>be me
>closet ftm/bi
>18
>sister moves in with my mom and I a few weeks ago, is 29 NEET stacy whore
>sister has fucked up her life and is on drugs, does nothing but goes clubbing with friends, dating some guy who beats her up, takes her anger out on me and my mom and is generally terrible to live with
>has random bursts of anger and usually takes it out by verbally abusing me/my mom or getting me in trouble
>mom sympathizes with her, never tells her to clean up after herself, etc., so she keeps being a cunt with no consequences
>at an earlier point in time a few weeks ago I just said fuck it one day and decide to cut off my hair so I pass better in public
>ever since then sister thinks I'm a butch lesbian but mom defends me even though she kinda thinks it herself
>every day mom talks to me about embracing my femininity
>today at a friend's house, get a call an hour ago from mom
>"your sister was saying very disturbing things about you earlier. She said she saw you looking at female porn multple times."
>what the fuck
>sister knows my mom would disown me if there was any actual proof of me being a lesbian
>tell her it was probably something that accidentally popped up on a site like my newsfeed on facebook
>mom sounds like she doesn't believe me, my sister has always been her favorite so she'll take her word over mine
>can't figure out why sister would try to fuck up my life like this and try to make me seem like a perverted degenerate lesbian to mom as she knows this is how she'll see it
>mom & I have a poor level of trust between us already and she has never thought of me the same since I used to talk to this brony online who wrote porn fanfics for shits & giggles when I was 13 but she didn't get the humor and I've since been a creep to her
>mom is picking me up in 2 hours and I need to think of a cover story or some excuse so she doesn't kick me out on the streets/hate me forever
What do I do, guys? I love my mom, how do I fix this?
This is eating me alive and I need to figure this out.
Arguments for:
>Male, 23 years old
>Always had issues with gender; friends were mostly girls growing up, was bad at sports, preferred being alone and reading, had long hair since childhood, hated having it short
>I don't remember any issues during puberty, but from around probably 16 on I remember hating my body hair and wanting it gone
>This has progressed to hating my face, and parts of my body for being too masculine, but no dysphoria about pOnOs
>Meet trans friend who seems to think I am as well, and is very clearly pressuring me into it, though she says she just wants me to be happy
>Crossdress a bit, but only things that don't emphasize my masculinity
>Signed informed consent forms for hormones
and am waiting for bloodwork
Arguments Against:
>Really feel like friend is pressuring me to transition
>Don't really want breasts or a vagina
>It's possible I feel like transitioning will solve life problems
>I don't really want to be treated like a woman/don't want to give up male privileges
>I 'm terrified of growing old as a man, but also as a woman. Probably just scared of getting old.
Diagnose me, /lgbt/ you're my only hope.
>>5352942
Have you ever really tried to be masculine? Being around all girls for so long and whatnot could've turned a slight feminine streak into something a lot bigger. The only way to figure out what you really want is to try living as a masculine guy and a girl or exploring both mentally as much as you possibly can. Try to talk yourself out of wanting to be a girl and see if you can do it, this is the best advice I can offer you anon, good luck, now could you help me with my problem at all? >>5352897
>>5352942
i dont think you're trans desu. doesn't even sound like you want to transition at all
How to stop taking hormones when you keep un-stopping each time you stop?
>>5352942
>"Don't really want breasts or a vagina"
Uh, are you 100% solid on this fact? Because, if you are, then yeah, you aren't trans.
If you are distinctly uncomfortable with the changes puberty made to your body (body/facial hair, muscle mass, changes in libido, deeper voice), and would wish that you never went through a male puberty, then that's a pretty tell-tale sign of being trans.
Being okay with having all the male sexual features, such as body hair and deep voice would mean you aren't transgender. If you don't want to develop breasts, or wish you had a female-sounding voice and typical female body, then, again, you aren't transgender.
I'd also say you'd need to want a vagina, but that's kinda impractical, as some people are afraid of the risks with SRS, or aren't satisfied with it (wanting a womb, being upset with the imperfections, etc.).
>>5352942
Your friend sounds like someone you should avoid if they're TRYING to put you into this situation that no one on the planet would want to be in.
>>5352988
>>5352968
>>5352962
This didn't really come across because I'm impulse posting at 6 in the morning without sleeping, but, I despise my facial and body hair, my voice, and how unfeminine my body looks. Looking in mirrors is painful to me. I have tried to be masculine, and it feels awful. If I could press a button and have had a perfect female body from birth, of course I would push it. And if I'm really being honest, the reason I don't want breasts is mostly because once those appear, you can't really hide the fact that you're trans. I guess I just don't want to deal with socially transitioning?
>>5353008
That sounds pretty trans to me.
>>5353008
Sorry, you're trans, dude. That's how all trans people feel. We all wish there was a button that'd put us in the body of the right gender. No one wants a blow up rod covered in arm flesh for a dong or a inverted cock/open wound for a vagina lol, you should've just said you were unhappy with surgical results. It's probably scared you more having me say this but medicine as a whole is advancing constantly and these won't always be the options. Keep your head up, anon, things will be fine, I suggest avoiding this board/4chan as a whole once you begin hormones though, it'll just make you feel worse being here.
I FINALLY KISSED A GUY!
OH MY GOD YASSSS!
>>5353011
>>5353035
But that's the thing. Some days I don't even notice it that much. Some things I like about being a guy. Not my body, admittedly. Why can't I just get a straight answer from anyone, there must be someone or some way to tell me conclusively "Yes you're trans" or "No you're not". Some questionnaire or procedure, but this uncertainty is the worst, just thinking, questioning, it every day.
>>5353050
Are the things that you like about being a guy things that you can only like as a guy?
The whole transgender thing is confusing thanks to all the tumblr stuff, but truth is, being transgender is more about your body/sex than the way you act. There are feminine men and masculine women; even if society doesn't treat you as well, you can still enjoy your masculine hobbies as a woman.
But if your body is troubling you, that isn't going to disappear. Are the things you like about being a guy things that are exclusively 'guy' things, or are they just typically considered 'guy' things?
>>5353055
Well...No. All my hobbies are fairly unisex. I can't thing of one thing I like that's exclusively masculine. I mean. It's nice having to not worry about sexual harassment and other such nonsense women go through.
Do you think HRT does anything?… I'm pre-hrt, but I sometimes happen too pass (in boymode), but it's probably due to my hairstyle. Also even though I can take a photo and pass in it, I still don't think I'm really feminine. I'm just thinking… maybe hormones don't really do anything to the face and it's just a matter of make-up and lightning? All the always passing transgirls I know were already girly as boys…
Alright, I need to get this off my chest... so I've been trans my whole life as far as I know. Always felt more comfortable in girls clothes than in males, I hate the male body as a whole, even as a child I remember hating my genitalia with extreme prejudice. Hell, my happy dreams are usually involving normal activities as a girl.
But here's the issue.... I'm around 6'6, hairy, I have the physique of a linebacker, you know the kind that shows every ounce of muscle no matter what you do and horrible man shoulders? Yeah...
I just don't know what to do guys, I'm horribly unhappy with my self, and in the past have been rather suicidal over it, I'm okay now for the most part, but still overwhelmingly hate myself due to being more man looking than a whole team of lumberjacks.
I've tried crossdressing so many times, and I always just look like a terrifying drag queen. I can get the make up right and just fine (I'm an artist so this wasn't hard) but the body is freakish screams man. If I were to take hormones I fear that I would look like a lumberjack with breasts, which would probably crush me.
What can I do? Is there any way to be happy?
>>5353316
HRT does help diminish muscles, and the fat distribution thing helps.
There are some who make it from man mountain to chick. Look up transition timelines and see if there's anyone who started like you.
The one thing I do know is the ride never ends. Do you want to try now, or when you're 50?
>>5353050
You can't get a straight answer because being trans is really complicated and poorly understood, and has to be diagnosed subjectively (there's no objective tes for it).
You don't have to feel totally awful 100% of the time to be trans. There's always going to be some fluctuation of feelings, with "good days" and "bad days"; it applies just like it does to depression in general, for example. If you think about it differently, you could say that "some days it's really bad". Either way there's still clearly a problem there.
There are good and bad things about being male and being female. You can still want to be female overall even if you don't like every aspect of it. I doubt there are many women who really like menstrual cramps and sexism directed towards them for being female, just like I'm sure there are men who don't like having really awkward to maintain body/facial hair and a different flavour of sexism directed towards them. By the same token, transitioning is hard/bad in a lot of ways, so fear of doing that doesn't disqualify you from being trans.
Plus, most "feminine" or "masculine" things don't matter at all, or don't matter and are completely arbitrarily categorised. Who cares about your hobbies?
>>5353251
They do have an effect, but different people respond to them differently. If you look fundamentally masculine (which is mostly a matter bone structure), then the kinds of changes they induce won't make you look much more feminine when considered in context. Also, I believe your response to sex hormones (in itself, not just becasue of what your body already look like) reduces with age.
Obviously if you start out girly, then you're going to be at least that girly once you start hormones. If you start out as an ultramasculine hockey player or something then there's only so much the hormones can do.
Makeup, lighting, and other things like posture and voice affect perceptions too, but they're not the sole factor. Hormones can do a lot under the right circumstances.
if there is any aus posters on is it the norm to be prescribed spiro instead of cypro? also should I be taking 1 tablet a day in the morning or halving it and taking it at different times?
I only have two concerns about seeing a doctor for this.
1: That I won't pass
2: That my dysphoria goes away and I end up being fine with being male again...
>>5353423
1. You will
2. It won't
So transition cuz you'll be a hon other way.
im mtf and been on hormones for about 2 months. i had that whole breast bud thing under my nipple and it got pretty big until now that its like going away and being covered in fat. is this normal? are my boobs going away?
>>5353458
>being covered in fat
That's a tit growing
>>5353458
Bloody hell, whoever is on that image is beautiful
Any Brits here?
I saw my GP over a month and a half ago, and I'm still waiting just to get an initial letter from the GIC that will tell me what year they will be able to see me in.
Is this normal??
On average, how long should it take for the initial letter to arrive after seeing a GP?
How long until the medical system will actually provide some help or contact?
>>5353558
>in the UK
>not self-medding
>>5353558
I'm at Nottingham, it took around a month to get the 'We have your referral' letter.
The GIC system is shit, go private or DIY if you want to get stuff done.
>>5353558
Oh yeah, the wait to actually get an appointment is anything up to 18 months, depending on GIC. Then you will probably need to have 3 appointments 3 months apart to get a prescription or even a diagnosis. At Nottingham they're still doing RLE too.
Anyone in the UK been taken off the GIC list? I didn't go to one of my 6 month interrogation appointments and they sent me a letter saying I was taken off, but can continue hormones and should be referred back should I want to talk more about SRS.
Just wondering if I finally decide if I want to get a vag, would it take around a year for me to be seen again
Does anyone know if medicaid (not medicare) covers treatment?
>>5354845
That would depend upon the company your medicaid is through. Mine is through United, and they pay for tracheal shaves, doctor's visits, HRT, and SRS. Of course, you're going to be limited in choice of doctors and there are stipulations.
Has anyone been to Howard Brown? Will they accept me if I'm uninsured and unemployed but have plenty of money (Aprox. 1.35k) saved up?
How does cock getting smaller work on HRT? You dont use it you lose it?
>be a tomboy throughout elementary/ half of middle school
>start to become more girly because of peer pressure
>be 18 starting to think I'd rather be a guy than a girl
>remember I'll never pass because I'm 5'1, D cups, and have a petite figure
I'm not miserable as a girl, but I'd much rather be a guy. What do?
>>5355339
Do you think it would be worth it to transition? How about in the long term? If yes to both you probably know the answer.
Also
You could wait until that one crazy doctor figures out head transplants, and then switch bodies with me.
>>5355324
Basically.
>>5355339
please trade with me
>tfw 5'11, quarterback shoulders, no hips, 9 US male shoes size, dick about 7"
>>5355254
>they pay for tracheal shaves
That's oddly specific.
Is my hairline likely to change on HRT? I'm not really balding, I don't think, but there is a little V cut out of the side of my hairline. I'm not sure whether it was always like that or not. It can make styling my hair a pain. If I was a man, it'd look normal, but I'm not a man.
I managed to get on finasteride and E anyway, however.
>>5355349
Part of me thinks it would be worth it because I really do want to be a guy, but I doubt any amount of HRT would make me into the big burly guy I want to be. The best I could hope for is being a passable twink and I am not sure if I would be ok with that.
Then I would also have to worry about coming out to my conservative family and finding a guy who would want to be with a transman.
>>5355413
I wish I could anon. I'd kill to have a body like that.
>>5353558
I've been on the waiting list for the GIC in Newcastle since, oh, July? As soon as I realised I was a tranny and came out, basically. I haven't heard fuck all from them.
I went private and did the GenderCare thing. First appointment was in September, second appointment with the end was in November. I can't recommend them enough. It cost about £400 (£200 per appointment) and then the prescriptions were like £7 each.
Something I wish I had done was self-med before I saw the endo, because my GP agreed to do the shared care deal where I can get my prescriptions for free on the NHS (I get free prescriptions because I'm diabetic). I won't actually start anti-androgens until May, however, but if you self-med the endo'll prescribe them so that you stop self-medding with something shit like spiro and you'll expedite the process.
The GIC in Newcastle sent me a list of pamphelts and support groups--all of which were in London. They've been useless so far.
>>5355462
Incidentally, can you get tracheal shaves on the NHS?
>>5355491
> but I doubt any amount of HRT would make me into the big burly guy I want to be
Lift you mother fucker. You wanna be a man? Man up and work for it!
>Then I would also have to worry about coming out to my conservative family and finding a guy who would want to be with a transman.
Fuck what everyone else thinks, you're a man now, worry about your own happiness. You'll find a guy, and your family is out of your control. Would you really want to live a life where you just lie to your family, anyway?
How likely/unlikely will it be for HRT to make me end up looking like someone like Brianna Wu? I'm kind of afraid to do HRT if I so choose in the future.
>>5355822
You'd have to be the Wu to look like the Wu. Also, hi /v/.
>tfw not anthony burch
>>5355822
The most realistic thing to expect from HRT is softer skin and deformed, undeveloped tits. Maybe some fat distribution. Nothing more. Your only reason for undergoing HRT is to age as a woman.
>>5355600
>wanting him to end up as a ripped manlet
how cruel of you
>>5355865
>manlet
Are you some sissy faggot that lets your height define you?
>>5355600
This>>5355865
It doesn't matter how much I lift. I will always be the supreme ruler of manlets.
>Fuck what everyone else thinks, you're a man now, worry about your own happiness.
It scares me to even think about telling my friends and family I want to be a guy. The closest I've ever got to telling someone is when I told my ex I rather be male.
Honesty, I want to move across the country and start my life over.
>>5356002
>height
>not the most important unit when judging a dude
are you avin an giggle m8?
>>5355855
Someone's bitter
>>5356065
Am I wrong?
>>5355855
that's true of me
except i had no fat distribution because i have this fucked up skinnyfat dadbod that sends all the fat to only one place - belly
but still better than aging as a dude, familia
>>5356002
keke manlet detected
I need an opinion.
I'm not really into stereotypical 'female' activites, I don't really sound like a girl, I don't look like a girl, I don't act like a girl and I don't feel like one either. I never had many female friends after Primary School, I don't have a clue about fashion and I am hardly effeminate. To be completely honest, I'm not terribly masculine either.
Yet, it still is slightly painful to think of myself as a guy. Almost a week ago while doing personal chores (cleaning after myself in the kitchen), my mother insulted my proficiency on the basis that "you men are hopeless at cleaning things" and I just dropped what I was doing and actually left. I ignored all of them and just went for a walk unanounced. I was pretty upset. On reflection it seems silly to get upset over something so trivial, particularly when I'm usually more thick skinned than most.
I don't even know what to ask. Just something? What am I? Why? What?
If you are going to suggest that I talk to someone proper, there isn't anyone nearby that I could discuss this within the next two years, which is why I post here of all places.
>>5357379
What upsets you about being a guy?
>>5357384
That's what has me so confused.
Nothing does, really.
There is no logic there whatsoever.
>>5357398
Do you have any desire to be a girl?
>>5357401
Sometimes? I'm not fully sure.
I seem to default to one online when given the opertunity of anonymity, but I very rarely allow myself to think about those sort of hypotheticals.
>>5357436
Try thinking about it. Some healthy introspection might help
>>5357379
>"you men are hopeless at cleaning things"
Perhaps it wasn't something dysphoric, rather you were upset at the casual sexism or her insulting you?
>>5357492
I'm hardly one to be offended for being told that I'm doing a bad job, particularly when I am doing a bad job (as I probably was), and it's not like there isn't some truth to men being bad at cleaning (at least from experience).
>>5357448
>Try thinking about it.
It's harder than you'd think.
Even asking/replying on here takes some effort.
>>5357515
Anon, you just gotta do it. I understand it can be hard to think about this. When I first stopped repressing things, trying to confront my feelings was met with a huge wave of emotion and scrambled my head more than the eggs I had yesterday. It really is hard to face feelings like this, but you know you need to. It'll get easier the more you work things out. Trust me, it will.
I just don't know where I'm at right now, and it's terribly hard to put it into words.
A couple Saturdays ago, thanks to being horribly intoxicated and emotional, I ended up telling someone for the first time that I'd always wanted to be a girl. Thankfully she was super cool and supportive, though pretty shocked. I then immediately went into a kind of "defense" telling her why if was completely impossible (in other words, telling her all the things I've always told myself) and that could/will never happen.
The next day (while obviously feeling an anxiety/sense of exposure that I'd never expected to feel) I got the "thought". Up till I'd resigned myself to the cards I'd been handed and considered myself a pervert for wanting what I do, but what if I could like them without feeling the accompanied shame? Would I know a sense of calm by actually being "myself"? I know it's a super simple question, but it felt very different asking myself honestly.
I then allowed myself to do a bit of research. I never knew this, but holy shit do hormones do work. What if one day down the line I could legitimately look in the mirror and not feel like I'm seeing someone else? Ever since I've been bouncing wildly between, "I have to do it." to "There's no way, don't be an idiot."
That's where I'm at now. The anxiety has been to the point where I'm only getting 3 hours of sleep because my thoughts can't stop. I guess at this point anyone would agree that I should see a shrink, and I wouldn't argue. How do I find a therapist/psychologist though? Should I see one who specializes in this sort of thing? How do I do so without senpai finding out? What should I even say to them?
I also want to apologize for the hyper-massive blog and thank anyone who's taken the time to hear me out.
>>5357492
MRA please
>>5357537
Im a little too tired for armchair/in bed psychology, so Im gonna help you out with the therapy thing.
https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/
Enter your city or zipcode, go to the sexuality section, select Transgender Identity. Then start emailing or calling therapists who stick out to you, get what experience or knowledge they have on this subject, and then pick someone.
You can do this without people finding out, most of these people seem like normal therapists at first glance and quite often are. Only red flag with mine would be he is a bit flamboyant. But I think hes cute so w/e. If you need to tell anyone about seeking therapy, just tell them you have some stuff to work out, and dont let them pry further. If they do, just talk about depression or something generic normies understand. As for what you should say to the therapist, everything you just posted and more. Open up to them like a book and tell them what is on your mind. Good luck friend.
>>5357548
Found someone who sounds perfect almost immediately, thanks so much.
Now I just have to think up a way of being sneaky about it.
>>5355462
Is it? Probably because they get specific with what they don't cover as well, such as excluding FFS and then explicitly excluding the procedures that make it up. They also don't pay for hair removal. They do pay for breast augmentation.
Hey guys
Bit of a complicated story but I'm considering switching from a relatively low spiro dose to a 3.75 mg shot of leuprorelin. This is as advised by a medical doctor, not just on a whim. The trouble is its expensive and has a pretty scary list of side effects. Anyone have any experience with it? I can afford it, and insurance will pay for some of it. Is it worth it? I have read it's pretty powerful as far as antiandrogens go.
Incase it wasn't clear I'm mtf, thanks!
>>5357436
You sound a lot like me. I realised I was a tranny after I "came out" as a guy to a semi-anonymous internet friend. I felt more like a liar as a boy than I did when I was actually lying.
>>5358187
GnRH analogues are way better than spiro, which is pretty shit stuff to be honest. We get prescribed decapeptyl pretty much exclusively in the UK.
I would say go for it, as long as your doctor wants it.
>>5359297
Different anon but I've never had a problem introducing myself as a guy to people. If they know me as a guy right from the start, that's fine. But I always really hate when I have to come clean about not being a cis girl when people know me as a girl.
>>5359327
Also as an add-on thought I hate when I forget who I've come out to and who still thinks I'm cis, makes it hard if I'm considering just not mentioning anything about being MtF.
Should micronized estradiol be taken sublingually or orally?
I heard the oral route makes it like 80% less effective. Confirm/deny?
>>5359393
Sublingually no exceptions ever always do it that way.
>>5359401
sublingually, 3 times a day, for the rest of the day?
No thanks anon, i just take double the amount
>>5359462
Enjoy those liver problems
>>5359462
>i just take double the amount
Anon, I...
>>5359462
Just take the normal dose sublingually twice a day. It's not hard. Shove it under your tongue and leave it there while you go about your business
>>5359473
Another anon here.Does taking E sublingually minimize the liver damage?
>>5359783
Depends on if it's micronized or not. My E is micronized, so this is my own research here.
Taking it orally means it needs to pass through the liver twice. This puts strain on the liver, and the first pass weakens the drug considerably; breaking a lot of the estradiol down into weaker estrone. Taking it sublingually gives you an estradiol:estrone ratio of about 3:1, whereas the oral route gives you a ratio of 1:5. The average cis female has a ratio of 2:1.
tl;dr: If you take micronized estradiol orally, you're basically chucking it in the trash.
>>5359861
how do you know if your E is micronized?
>>5360037
If it's a small aquamarine-ish pill that dissolves easily
I'm trying to be nice to this trans girl that lives near me.
She has horrible depression and stays in her room all day playing nothing but csgo and dota, and tried to kill herself a year ago but failed.
I want to help make them happier, but I don't know how, and I feel like I'm coming off as a chaser and annoying her. I don't know how I can help improve her life, but I really would like to see them happier. Is there anything I can do? Should I just keep trying to interact with them irl and hope for the best?
>>5360170
There are three things people want from other people.
Money, sex and for you to hurt their enemies.
If you're not doing any of those things, she's right to ignore you.
>>5353035
Where should i go other than 4chan, reddit or tumblr?
>>5360190
If I make their bullies on 4chan leave them alone will they like me then?
>>5360221
Probably not. People aren't dumb. The only way you could make the bullies on 4chan leave them alone is if you are one of them and you promised to hurt her on their behalf once you've gained her trust. And by "hurt their enemies" I don't mean speak a few curt words or do something clever or tricky either, I mean disable, maim or kill their enemies. You know, something that actually gets results. Trans people rightly have a lack of faith in Democrats because when Republicans try to kill them, Democrats speak rudely to Republicans to try and make them go away and bother someone else.
>>5355521
i don't know if you're still around anon, but i have no experience in going private. (i'm in newcastle too)
how did you get started? isn't gendercare's offices only in london? did you travel there? sorry for so many questions, i just don't want to have to wait years.
>>5360037
it says so on the package
What should I tell a clinic if I have insurance but it's my parents so I can't use it because I'm not out to them? Just that I'm uninsured?
>always recognized I got the short end of the gender stick, without necessarily "feeling" like a woman or wanting to be one
>always felt unable to assume a male role to the point of not having enough self-confidence to be in a relationship
>the idea of sex as a woman just feels more comfortable, although I've been mostly asexual so I only entertained this thought recently
>want to cry more often but the emotions just won't come out, feel mostly numb and midly anxious about everything
>hate male fashion with a passion, want to dress more colorful but not really into female clothes, always looked at attractive girls like "wow, this is how I would like to look if I was a girl" rather than "wow, I would date this girl"
>always hated sports and preferred homely activities, being compassionate instead of strong, etc...
Is there even a significant chance that I'm cis and piecing a puzzle that isn't there? Can I keep living like that and expect the feelings not to get worse?
I realize I'm really trying to find a reason not to talk and get the feelings out first of all. Fuck social anxiety.
How do I get myself to stop taking hormones when I know it's not the right thing to do and is only going to give me trouble? I really need to stop but I can't
how long until i can see the hormones effect?
>>5360792
Why would you not be able to stop?
>>5360792
If you can't stop it seems like it's the right thing to do
>>5360886
never tbqh familia
>>5360886
Expect mood changes within a couple weeks, and physical changes starting around 6-8 months. It's a slow process, to be honest, my dearest sibling.
>>5360521
Incidentally, sugar is also absorbed sublingually. Isn't the human body amazing?
>>5360454
Exactly, famiglia. Be ready to pay the full cost, though.
>>5360170
How well do you know this depressed trans girl? Did you meet her before or after she started transition and how did it happen? You might want to force her out of her room or open up a window and make her face the sunlight for some minutes, which might be difficult now that winter is coming in the northern hemisphere. You might cook home made meals for her and spend lunch eating together, with the hope she might start talking. To get rid of the chaser perception, maybe you should tell her you have a girlfriend if you do. Maybe talk about your own experiences with depression, so you want to help others that are going through it.
>>5360245 is out of their mind.
>>5360201
I wish I knew.
>>5360287
Hey, I'm still here. They're only in London, yes, but it's not like you're going there very often. You ring up to make an appointment with the psychologist, and ring up to make one with the endrocrinologist too. The numbers are on the GenderCare website. The process was just sorta like booking a dentist appointment, really.
You need blood tests done before the endo appointment. You can usually get your GP to do them.
I just got the train down. Stayed overnight, saw a show. It was a nice weekend out!
My Skype's siglives if you want some more help!
>>5362098
I met them a few weeks ago and didn't know them prior.
I've tried getting her out more but she's scared of the world and people making fun of her since it's happened in the past.
>>5360454
Ask if there's a way to keep it confidential.
My girlfriend got an abortion on her parents' insurance and they never found out.
>>5362694
Disgusting.
>>5362185
Maybe if you convinced her you would shit talk anyone who makes fun of her back? Or get her to dress boyishly if she doesn't pass. But I suggest eating real meals with her regularly.
so if I get a strong disgust reaction whenever I see a woman with visible makeup does that mean I can stop wanting to be a gilr if I get a lot of pictures and set an alarm on my phone to go off every x minutes and show me a new picture?
>>5363880
seek therapy. even if you're not trans, you need therapy for being disgusted by makeup
>>5363880
careful m8 you might build an immunity or worse, develop a love for makeup yourself
>>5363893
>you need therapy for being disgusted by makeup
nah, there's nothing wrong with that
>>5363937
there really really is lol. seek help
>>5363943
nope
>>5363949
okay
So I got surgery in roughly 4 hours. It's my first one too. How do I not panic? Help
>>5364016
What surgery?
>>5364078
Wendler glottoplasty with Prof. Remacle. Supposedly same as Yeson.
>>5364095
Probably am, haha. And thanks!
But now just some hours before surgery I'm scared shitless.
>>5364082
I would be psyched if I were in your position. Your new voice will come so naturally and sound even more authentic than it already does. I have to force my voice so it causes me a lot of social anxiety knowing its fake.
>>5364121
I sure am, but I've never had anesthesia before and I'm super worried I'll eventually end up ripping the sutures.
I so hope the outcome is gonna be as you say.
pre-hrt trans man with the highest voice ever and unfortunately a pretty curvy body. Is there a way to make my body seem less uh, less curvy I guess, like a type of clothing to wear or something? Can't really lower my voice but if anyone has any ideas...
>>5364904
the best you can do is wear very thick hoodies if you are "comfortable" with covering your body up. loose jeans, or sweat pants.
also t will lower your voice if you plan to get on it at some point.
sorry i can't be more help than stating the obvious, but other than ordering men's shirts in larger sizes i can't really think of anything like that that would disguise curves.
I'm a pre hrt trans girl and am unsure about continuing working out.
I enjoy it but don't want to look too muscular should I go on hrt
Will this be an issue? I'd rather do more then squats lol
>>5364904
>Is there a way to make my body seem less uh, less curvy I guess
LIFT. Surely converting curves into muscles would help.
>Can't really lower my voice but if anyone has any ideas...
Comes with practice yo. The more you practice the better you'll get at it.
How much overlap is there between body dysmorphic disorder and gender dysphoria?
I told my doctor I had "sexual orientation" issues and he diagnosed me with body dysphoria.
>>5365042
You'll start losing muscle mass when you're on HRT.
Is there any way to get shorter? I just found out I'm 5'7.5". My sister is nearly as tall as me but I thought I was smaller than this.
im 2 months into estrogen and spiro and ive stopped cumming. if i stop hormones will i be able to cum again?
>>5365544
no fluid whatsoever ejaculated or clear fluid ejaculated? also i believe if you stop spiro it will return albeit slowly
>>5365590
no, no fluid or anything comes out
>>5365379
That's a relief :) My other concerns are not passing and discussing seeing a doctor to my parents
>>5365706
what about ur bp? does poop still come out?
At what point of transition do you change my name?
I'm pre-hormones, pre-everything but I've already changed my legal name to Emma because I'm becoming a US citizen and I figured it'd be two birds with one stone.
I'm sure on my name, but I still look like an ugly boy. I have no idea when I should actually tell people about my new name.
>>5366256
Emma is an adorable name.
does anyone have experience with inhousepharmacy and paying with e-checks? im looking to self-med (for many reasons right now) but i'm terrified of this e-check option. i CANNOT risk fraud right now.
>>5366256
>At what point of transition do you change my name?
are you sure you want 4chan to change your name for you?
>>5366256
Probably when you want to go full time senpai
>>5366301
lel
>>5359861
I thought estradiol valerate (Progynova) couldn't be taken sublingually, but you're telling me I should take it sublingually?
Is my chin/jawline going to do well with hrt? Obviously the bone structure ain't changing, but does someones face "round out"?
>>5366563
It can be. Valerate is specifically formulated to be ingested orally, and takes an annoyingly long time to dissolve under your tongue (about fifteen minutes), but it will be absorbed.
>Estradiol micronized is manufactured to quickly dissolve sublingually but any of the oral estradiol or estradiol valerate preparations can be used sublingually or transbuccaly to decrease the possible risks related to 1st pass effects in the liver and excess thrombotic effects.
>Sublingual use may result in higher peak levels and lower 24 hr AUC (Price et al., 1997) levels but it is not clear what the clinical significance of this is.
>https://www.sfdph.org/dph/files/THS/HormoneTherapyRev.pdf
>>5366826
Yeah, the face looks more round on HRT because you end up with more fat on your cheeks and stuff. It also generally softens the jawline. That said, your jaw looks pretty strong. It's hard to give a comprehensive analysis or anything without seeing the rest of your face, but you might want to consider saving up for at least partial FFS
>>5367170
Thanks. I figured as much.
>>5367277
I've known some cis wimmins or 2 with strong jaws. You never know~~~~~~~
>second day on HRT
>no idea if it's even doing anything
Fug. I know it's supposed to be a slow process, but could I at least get a mood swing or something?
>>5367427
This is an astounding lack of patience
>>5367431
I know :(
>>5367427
I never got mood swings or mental effects from HRT... it was always just physical changes.
The mood swings thing always struck me as silly.
>>5367427
I felt different after about three weeks. Not significantly, just more emotional. I began to cry a little easier too.
Not sure if they were psychosomatic effects or not.
I just don't know what else to do.
I have known I'm trans since 2010, but I feel this overwhelming anxiety that doesn't allows me to do anything. Whenever I try to advance on my transition I just get stuck and stop because fears and bullshit like that.
I'm on the verge of suicide for this. I just can't handle it anymore. I'm scared and mostly feel sorry and sadness for myself. Just a fucking pile of worthless fear, that's what I am.
And yes, I searched for help, but it have been worhtless too. The first shrink only gave me antidepressants and basically just told me "get over it". The psychologist just rubbed my back and didn't helped much either. Then I moved to another city and got this shrink that doesn't believe I'm trans because I don't want to dress and go out as a woman. What the actual fuck? I have anxiety issues and you want me to do that shit? I would fucking explode or probably suffer a stroke if I did that.
Sadly, there's not many options considering I live in fucking south america, which isn't known for being the most gay friendly place on earth.
So, should I do it? Shoudl I put an end to this? There's actually a way in which I don't kill myself and I actually can live a decent life? Or I'm just too fucked up to achieve such a thing?
>>5367427
>not having mood swings prior to HRT
I wish HRT would stop mine.
>>5367521
>I felt different after about three weeks. Not significantly, just more emotional. I began to cry a little easier too
Yay. I want to feel that way too.
>>536735>>5367357
Its something I'll think about, wuestioning right now, seeing a therapist after christmas
>>5367357
Thanks, its something I'll look into after I see a thearpasit after christmas.
How do I find a rich guy to pay for transition, im 20
I always find it difficult to put down my thoughts on demand because as soon as I stop a stream of consciousness I tend to lose everything I was just thinking, but I'm trying now...
I started taking hormones a bit under two months ago with the intention of trying them out to see. For several months before that I kept feeling like I was losing control and was inevitably going to start taking hormones. Everything amped up when I had a minor panic attack noticing my receding hair line because my hair covered it for so long and I never looked. I got on meds for that very soon but you know, lots of guys really don't want to go bald.
I don't really feel much different now, I don't think. How would I know? I've always had trouble accessing my thoughts and feelings on things except for a few cases. I mean, presumably I should start feeling really good or bad, right? A couple times, this being the second, I've thought I just need to quit taking them and stop pretending like this is actually what I need to do. It's not necessarily that I want to stop, more that I ought to. But what do I even know about what I want? Like continuing down is just going to lead to trouble for me and ruin all hopes of having a reasonably normal life, which I think I've wanted for a long time. If I already find it difficult to make friends and couldn't get in a relatioship it's just going to get worse and worse becoming a freak. And how do I know everything is not just a cruel call-of-the-void style fabrication, which I do get although never this persistent, and I'm not just a loser beta who is taking getting off to thinking of being a girl to an extreme and looking for magic pills to make everything better. And it's not like I'm some typically feminine person where it would make sense or one who accepts all of the canon of trans stuff.
Sorry I guess this ended up being too long for one post...
1/2
Like, sure I say I'd rather be a girl, I say my penis looks odd being there, but how much of that is because it's circumcised and I find the practice absolutely horrifying and how much of it all is just a fabrication by a part of my subconscious that wants to sabotage my well-being? How much of what I am writing right now is affected by the same part in order to generate a response that will fit its aims? And why would such a part even exist through billions of years of evolution?
The "solution" is always some refrain of therapy therapy therapy, but it always fails to ask any question that is nontrivial and whose responses to possible answers aren't obvious, unless the reaction to such bad questions is the real question in which case, touche, but my experience with the rest of the world suggests that that is not the case. So what is left? Abandon any hope of truly being outside the fringe of society and just relegate myself to a life of solitude? I guess that wouldn't be so bad, and it would essentially solve the problem as I wouldn't have to worry about all the multi-level hypotheticals and unknowns and I could just do whatever, but that's not exactly feasible.
What am I looking to achieve by this? I don't know exactly. I guess in one part it is a selfish desire to just be heard by someone. I guess I want some armchair psychologist to give me some insight on some line of thinking that I never managed to find. Oddly enough, I feel that people on 4chan tend to be more intelligent and to have unique perspectives on things, so I guess that's it. Is anyone that person?
How long should one be on spironolactone before getting off it and replacing it with progesterone?
Is seeing your male oriented name and cringe normal? It feels like everything masculine about myself gives me dysphoria.
>>5368738 (You)
why would you replace it with progesterone
Firstly cost and also because of the effects of progesterone assisting in breast growth and other changes
>>5368835
please read up more since you're self medding. where did you get the idea that that was a good idea
I really need help deciding if I am actually trans or not. I seriously am really really confused.
+If I could choose my gender from birth, I would always choose female.
+I prefer women's or unisex clothing
+I really feel more comfortable in a more feminine role in generally everything
+I feel really warm and happy whenever people call me a girl or use she/her or things like that
-I've only really started feeling like this about two years ago
-I never really remember much of my younger life as a lot of it was traumatic, but I don't remember feeling any dysphoria when I was younger
-I have bipolar disorder and have also been depressed for the large majority of my life since middle school
-I do not have any extreme hate for being male or having masculine features, I just have an extreme desire to be a girl
Help me. I don't know what to think or feel.
>>5368881
A good therapist would help you alot more than we can. Although if you've been feeling that for two years now, its probably not just a phase.
>>5368881
Sure, you're trans. But so what? You don't experience dysphoria. Can you explain how being born a female would solve any of your problems? Would transitioning solve more problems than it would cause?
>>5369062
>You don't experience dysphoria
Can you really say this when they feel more happy and more comfortable referred to as a girl or in typically feminine roles? If they're less happy/comfortable being treated as a man, isn't that dysphoria?
>>5369062
I feel like transitioning would cause more problems for me than it would solve, but I feel like it would make me happier anyways.
I know idiots on 4chan always say things like "hurrr i have a 8/10 face im just socially awkward" but I legitimately believe I am an attractive to above averagely attractive boy, I was always approached by girls in high school, my old OKCupid account from early college was blasted with messages all the time, etc. I tried having sex with a few girls in high school, I only ever actually got to intercourse with one of them and I really hated it.
I feel like transitioning from an attractive young adult boy, to probably a hon would cause a lot more social problems for me, but I think I would be happier with myself.
>>5369086
I'm sure you know transition isn't necessary. You can wear cute clothing, paint your nails, put makeup on your face, and all that conventionally female stuff while still identifying as a male. Bonus points because you're attractive. Transitioning can be the last step if you eventually feel it is necessary for your happiness.
Personally, my reasons for transitioning are simple: 1) I experience many symptoms of gender dysphoria, and 2) I am extremely uncomfortable with the idea of growing older as my assigned gender. Your case seems a lot more complex.
>>5367813
>>5367816
>I guess in one part it is a selfish desire to just be heard by someone.
it's not selfish, every human wants to be heard when you talk. that's part of why this general exists.
please give yourself a break and regain some faith in you. you seem to be an intelligent person that is able to make decisions. but you use your intelligence to undermine your decisions. you constantly question them over and over again. i feel you, you must feel terrible right now.
> But what do I even know about what I want?
if you don't know nobody does. from what i can gather you do know what you want. but you are overthinking it over and over again and you can see things that don't make perfectly sense, things that make you question if what you want is really the rational thing to do. if you look hard enough every decision is flawed. but life isn't always about which answer is the most rational, not about what answer makes the most sense to do. because human beings are emotional beings too. emotions don't have to be rational and sometimes it is best to just follow your emotions to be happy.
i get it, i really do (i think^^) if you think about it rationally being trans fucking sucks. there is so much negative shit about it that no rational person would want it. truth is no trans person wants to be trans. you understand already that being trans is not a decision. you look for every possible reason to convince you that you aren't trans.
you can't fight you're emotions forever with rationality.
>For several months before that I kept feeling like I was losing control and was inevitably going to start taking hormones. Everything amped up when I had a minor panic attack noticing my receding hair line because my hair covered it for so long and I never looked. I got on meds for that very soon
please have some trust in you, anon.
>>5369086
>but I think I would be happier with myself.
are you unhappy right now?
So, I'm sure I want to transition. Is being 26 a problem? I mean, I've heard that I'm fairly safe as long as I start before 30, but at the same time I've heard earlier.
how do people get over the shame of being transgendered ?
I legitimately think I'd rather kill myself than ever admit I'm trans.
>>5369316
>transgendered
weak bait
>>5369349
>>transgendered
>weak bait
weak bait
>>5369195
Thanks for that anon, you made me feel nice for a bit. Particularly
>it's not selfish, every human wants to be heard when you talk
>i feel you, you must feel terrible right now.
was really nice,e ven if you don't really care
As far as believing in myself more...I guess to what end? I don't think it's even a good idea for me even if I accept these thoughts at face value. Maybe if I were 5'5 with Klinefelter's, but what value is there in becoming a freak? And still, deep down, I honestly don't think I am trans, but observations of myself indicate that I don't believe what I think I believe, hence frustration at the disconnect. That's in part why the trial was so appealing, because the idea was that you would either feel better or feel worse, and it was supposed to be obvious and objective. But I don't feel different, and the time is approaching where inaction is an action by default. But if I'm just going to give in at some future date anyway, well then I guess it's better to take 10x a minuscule chance of making it than the minuscule chance later. But that shouldn't be necessary, how I believe, and then I'm back to where I was before.
>>5369262
If you're sure then why does it matter? You're doing it anyway so it's irrelevant
>>5369438
>because the idea was that you would either feel better or feel worse
what exactly did you do and how did you're feelings change?
>it was supposed to be obvious and objective
it can't be. hormone treatment is about long time effects, short time mental effects may come because of secondary effects like not having the mental distress of knowing that testosterone makes you more masculine every moment. i don't have any studies and this is heavily reducted though. it's personal thoughts.
>I honestly don't think I am trans, but observations of myself indicate that I don't believe what I think I believe,
who are you? i know it seems like a mundane question but who are you? are you the parts that desperately tell you you aren't trans or are you the parts that don't care what you think and still desperately want to be a girl? i care, i really do because i know how terrible it is to be torn apart within yourself.
>but what value is there in becoming a freak?
those are strong emotions you have. strong enough to cloud clear thinking and stop you from making any decision.
forget all that fear and hate for a few moments. think about if everything turns out alright would you be happy if you'd be a woman? it doesn't matter how unlikely this is to happen in reality because trans feelings don't care about reality.
>I guess it's better to take 10x a minuscule chance of making it than the minuscule chance later.
yes but that is not what this is about. transitioning is not in the first place about passing or not passing (though yes for a lot of people it is very important and that is not a bad thing). it is about having the chance to be happy. i'm honestly making a lot of assumptions and i feel bad about it but i take it you are unhappy for quite some time now? transitioning is about raising your quality of life by giving you the chance to be contempt with yourself and your body. to be happy with who you are.
>>5369211
If he can't shake the desire to be a girl and knows he'd be happier as a girl, it might not matter if he's unhappy right now. Or not being a girl might start making him unhappy because of that desire.
>>5369349
What?
I consider myself "transgender." Is there another word I should be using?
>>5370251
>he
she^
>>5370354
She/he doesn't know yet so it doesn't really matter what pronouns we use until they specify otherwise.
what if all those people talking about very similar feelings to mine are just programs of the matrix designed as part of a social experiment to persuade me to cut my dick off?
>>5370598
> mfw am trannybot.exe
> mfw don't exist
>>5370608
>trying to convince me that this is a joke
well botted, bot
I haven't changed my name legally or anything yet, and my new job delivering packages introduced me to my truck driver as my birthname, so now every day is a whole series of nicknames based off that and making a lot of references to how I apparently work hard for a girl.
I'm insanely uncomfortable but I don't really know how to approach this. The guy didn't seem entirely okay with LGBT people when I tested the waters. Do I just suffer through til the holidays are over? Risk it and hope there's another driver to work with in my town if it doesn't go well? Help I'm beta as fuck
Does the fact I can masturbate easily (of course without… looking down there) mean I'm not trans?
>>5370348
No, the word "transgender" is fine it's just that it's an adjective. Whenever I see something like "transgendered" it makes me think of an old person who watches Fox News. 'Those darn transgenders are at it again'
>>5370348
there's nothing wrong with either word
Yesterday was apparently the first time I've ever actually looked at my nose. Is there any way of making this schnoz of mine look cuter without paying for someone to attack it with a hacksaw?
>>5368738
Spiro is only to stop further testosterone from making more changes in your boxy and to let estrogen do its work.
Easiest way to buy clothing? I'm pre everything and I'm thinking online is the way to go to get sizing right, but post that, when/where is best? I know it'll be akward, any tips for avoiding that (mtf)
I want to buy clothes online but I can't risk my parents seeing them. If I buy something from Amazon that says "fulfilled by Amazon"; it has to come in the generic Amazon packaging right? I'm just being cautious.
>>5372732
fulfilled by amazon items do arrive in plain packaging unless it says otherwise. you can also select "it's a gift" if it makes you feel better
>>5372756
Do you know what and where it would say if they came in different packaging? I'm looking but it just says "Sold by [Seller] and Fulfilled by Amazon". Am I in the clear?
>>5372788
i don't see why you wouldn't be.
but honestly, even if it said it came from a clothes place, unless it's victoria's secret or something, couldn't you just say it was man clothes?
and if they ask to see, just act embarrassed and say it's man underwear.
>>5372647
go to hot topic theyll just think youre gay
>>5372788
I've only noticed it on one thing I bought (this vacuum)
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002HFDLCK/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B002HFDLCK&linkCode=as2&tag=bestsuppl04-20&linkId=XQBADTAUMI7N5RHH
>>5352880
I'm 30, I'm sure I'm trans mtf. I've wanted to be a girl, Imagined my life as if I were a girl. Have crossdressed, put on makeup, shaved my legs(currently shaved). I do things like this every once in a while and I like it, I want to be more feminine. but all my life i've presented myself as male, and tried really hard to convince people that I can be a masculine straight male. Now I feel I was lying to them and myself. Now for 3 months I want to start HRT but I'm too chickenshit to go to my doctor and tell him this.
I starting to feel pretty depressed lately because of this, and I'm afraid to ask for help. I dont even know who to turn to.
How do I do this? Are hormones enough?
>>5373280
I'm sure there are breast implants in this particular case, but I think it is doable.
>>5373280
Hormones won't do that, because the picture is fake.
I don't know if everytime I see a hot guy I want to fuck him or if I want to become that hot guy.
I'm not attractive enough to try and the lack of self esteem through my teenage years led me to kind of disassoicate myself from my body.
Am I fetishising being gay as an escape from my own self hatred?
>>5371812
Makeup. Look it up, it's quite a common use for makeup to change the way a nose looks.
Would you take the chance of being happy by transitioning even if it meant being unavoidably ugly as the opposite gender?
>>5369528
what did I do? I am taking hormones and have been for just shy of two months, except for two days I skipped, one of which is today. Both because I determined I ought to stop. how did my feelings change? It's difficult to say. I'm not sure they really have. I usually write in a journal, and I just looked and haven't found anything since about a month ago, coincidentally on the same day that I skipped. If my impression from previous times of my life is correct, then this means I really had nothing at all remarkable about this time. I was also really busy with school work so basically I was hardly even conscious.
>it can't be
Presumably if you took a random guy off the street and starting spiking him with estrogen he'd start to feel like shit pretty soon, right?
>who are you? i know it seems like a mundane question but who are you? are you the parts that desperately tell you you aren't trans or are you the parts that don't care what you think and still desperately want to be a girl? i care, i really do because i know how terrible it is to be torn apart within yourself.
if I knew the answer to that question I'd probably have the answer to anything else that mattered. "I" am just a collection of lines of thought, some of which I appear to control. I tend to want to think the part that I control is primary, but I think that's in part a bias because we both are hugely unaware of and like to ignore the influence that the subconscious has on the "conscious." So what is more real? What I know I think or what I don't know I think, which I can't know?
1/2
>think about if everything turns out alright would you be happy if you'd be a woman?
I don't know..I mean I don't have such an experience so how could I ever actually know or ever speculate? Any opinion I would have on the matter would be completely unfounded and just as likely to be wrong as right. Anyway, after a trip and subsequent reflection, I think I've pretty much determined I much prefer a female body, and that is the primary source of confusion in everything. One thing I do actually know with reasonable certainty, which I guess is saying a lot for me, is that if the situation were that transitioning would leave me with a female body and nothing else would change, I am near sure I would do it. I really don't have a need to be treated differently and I like essentially being able to be very unremarkable
> it doesn't matter how unlikely this is to happen in reality because trans feelings don't care about reality.
I disagree here. In an ideal world we could all go to the corner store and buy an instant sex change button for $5 and there would be no transgenderism and everybody would be happy. I think ignoring reality is just as unproductive in any case as it is in insisting you want the sex change button to be real. You don't get to choose between anything except choices within the reality in which we live. And that's why I don't think my observation really matters.
>but i take it you are unhappy for quite some time now?
Yes. I think I can say I've solidly been depressed for about 4-5 years at this point, with the causes being internal, external, and unknown. It's something that recently I've determined I will just need to live with for my life, barring the discovery of any decent drugs for it.
Note that it's really nice talking to you and I really appreciate it to have someone talk with me. don't feel obligated to continue though because reading large blocks of text can be exhausting and overwhelming
>>5373920
Yes, in a heartbeat. Being an ugly girl is certainly better than being a depressed, miserable and dysphoric mess of a man.
>>5374074
Do you not fear you might still be uncomfortable, but for different reasons? For example, you might still have self-image issues with being overweight, ugly, or not the ideal height.
Has anyone ever managed to get gender confusion to just go away and live as a normal guy again?
>>5374089
Those issues are not nearly as bad as gender dysphoria
>>5374596
unlikely, I've tried for 20+ years rejecting thatt part of me and forcing myself to blend in as one of the guys. It never made me happy and now i'm 30 and want to start transistion and that gives me hope at being just a little bit happier. Ive probly waited too long to get to this point but I look younger and androgynous enough I believe I can do it. The hard part is the complete change my life will have and having to tell people close to me, but fuck it I'm doing it
>>5374596
It's happened twice now in the span of three years. When it does happen, it's fucking terrible. When I'm not feeling it, I'm convinced I'm only repressing my feelings -- meaning, they're not actually gone, and will unavoidably come back to bite me again.
Have a consultation appointment next week, will be getting a form to get bloodwork done and if the results look good I'll be starting Spiro by late January early February (hopefully).
What sort of questions should I ask and are most commonly asked? Right now, all I can think of asking is
>How long would you have me on Spiro before adding some form of estrogen in the mix?
>What types of prescriptions would you be willing to prescribe me (pills, patches, sublingual, shots...)?
>Of those, what would recommend for me and why?
>Are any of those considered better than others in having increased effects/less side effects?
>Would you be willing to prescribe me a form of progesterone? If not, why?
>Are there any types of food or drugs that I should avoid while on these prescriptions?
>>5375838
>What are you gonna do?
I'm preparing to scare myself through transition and forgo the maddening guesswork. It's a crazy plan that will bluntly and definitively tell me if being the opposite gender will lead me to a happier life. I don't actually care if I'm truly trans -- regardless of the dysphoria other symptoms I experience, it all means nothing if transitioning doesn't stop me from threatening myself with death.
>>5375944
Sounds like what I'm doing, starting mones and seeing if it helps. If it doesn't I honestly dont know what the fuck I'm gonna do.
>>5375838
I think i'm gonna go for it, I called my dr's office today to try and get in next week. i dont know what I'll say.....
Its a hard decision for anyone in this position, Its either start transition and be a girl and hopefully be happy, or remain a guy with gender issues and be miserable you cant do anything about it.
I jsut dont know what i'll do after i start, I'm scared to come out and tell people senpai and friends esspecially. It will be a complete flip from how I think people view me. I've worn the masc of a manly man for a long time to hide
Or jsut up and leave go somewhere and start new? I'm from a gernally small town area, alot of country folk who dont always take kindly to LBGT, some are good, but some are really bad. I dont think I want to go through transition here..
I hate that it took me this long to come to my senses about who I am,I waited way too long fightin it.
>>5375944
I did this, more or less. In for a penny, in for a fucking pound.
Turned out I was right, fortunately.
>>5377841
How long into taking them did you know? What was your state before you took them?
>>5373280
Ok, thanks, that's encouraging. I guess I wouldn't mind getting implants. That picture is basically my goal body.
what if I have basically no social dysphoria? how people call me and treat me is basically immaterial, aside from being able to essentially blend in and be unremarkable. i don't want to get any more masculine; if I could get a female body and nobody treated me any differently i'd be ok with that. i would have to change my personality to really fit in as a normal woman
like if i were born a woman, it really woudln't be an issue because there are yknow bulldykes and stuff, but it's 1000x times weirder to if you weren't
>tfw want to start hormones
>tfw i'm a huge hypochondriac and am terrified of the increased blood clot risk
>>5378856
You can live more comfortably as your assigned gender if you experience no social dysphoria. You might start experiencing social dysphoria if transitioning means changing your personality.
what does it mean that I get incredibly jealous of androgynous-looking people more so than cis women
>>5379135
you are probably right
but what to do about the physical dysphoria
>>5379127
Patches or injections is what you use then Anon.
>>5379155
Because you know you'll never look cis and accept that, but even androgynous people look closer to what you want to me that you do.
>feel good about appearance from mirror and webcam and snapchat
>not transitioning because i dont think i can socially
>been 6 months since i decided that
>see a photo of me that used flash
>strong jaw, tired eyes, strong nose, sharp cheekbones, square as fuck face
>think about how gross i really look
>think about how my body is even gross
>go to bed depressed as fuck
>wake up, still thinking about it
I just wish, just once, that I could build confidence without it just getting destroyed every once in a while. I got so confident of my appearance after i did some self improvement after school, and it even never stumbled during the times when i'd cry and talk to people online about how i wanted to be a gril, but then the realisation hits and my confidence was fucking assblasted by the force of a thousand suns when my depression goes full retard.
Then i build up some confidence, quit therapy, decide not to transition but I'm happy to try to be a twinky gay guy. I get attention online and on grindr. Do stuff to make myself a cuter guy than more handsome. Stumbles a few times
And now this. I don't even know how i look because half the time i look fucking disgusting and the other half i look ok. It's not that i'm ugly but it's like... I look like a pissed off tired manly man in that photo
I just needed to vent i guess. I don't actually feel like i'm fully trans, otherwise i would've seeked more therapy. I just dont know what to do about it
>>5378856
Why would you have to change your personality to transition?
>>5378203
About 3 weeks was when I started to feel better--calmer, more emotional. Before I took them I was very numb, occasionally angry.
>>5379728
you are a transgender woman
take hormones, git gud
So I've been on HRT for 14 weeks now and this is where I'm at:
>first 4 weeks, spiro 50mg -> 200mg daily
>start getting budding by 4 days in, no pain though
>peeing lots more, as expected
>next 4 weeks, spiro 200mg, progynova 2mg daily
>start getting painful nipples, start of breast growth, nipples constantly pointy
>psoriasis I've had for 10 years clears up completely
>skin feels noticeably softer
>no longer need to pee more than usual
>last 2 weeks, spiro 200mg, progynova 4mg daily
>nipples can no longer get pointy even with stimulation, whole nipple gets hard instead but remains flat
>big hard buds behind them
>obvious breast growth, not visible front-on but pretty noticable from side-on and poke through shirts visibly (not just the nipples)
>lots more tenderness and warmth
>still don't need to pee more than usual
>kinda gross but sweat from groin has increased and also changed in scent, smells like pussy
>dark line has appeared on underside of penis
>skin much softer and smoother to the point people are commenting on it, slightly paler and more even complexion
All these are changes I know to be expected on estrogen, but not in the first 6 weeks. Is my body being receptive to HRT a good thing or does breast development happening this fast mean I could end up with conetits or cancer or some shit? I have an extremely manly skeleton, facial structure etc. so it's not like I'm intersex. Self-medding for now because UK and almost 21 already.
>>5381057
*10 weeks
looks like it's affecting my brain like a girl too, wow
>>5381057
Feminization effects happen in spurts. It's not abnormal to have an initial wave of feminization when hrt starts.
>>5381057
Whoa I've been on same dosage as you for 7 months now and I havent gotten as far as you have
I'm not gonna make it am I?
>>5381312
Have you gotten your levels checked? If nothing happens for 7 months, maybe your levels are fucked.
>dont pass, bleh voice even after 2 yrs hrt and voice training
>have a retail job and live with weird glances at my nametag and from kids 28-40 hrs a week for the distant faint hope of financial security and ffs/vfs
>generally forgetful and derp a lot
>only thing i have going for me is being hot to people who like androgyny
I should just die already
>>5381665
Why would you want to die now? Youve gotten this far and you have goals youre going for, like FFS. Dying now would just be a waste of a cute girl. Keep your chin up and keep going, things will get better as long as you dont give up hope.
>>5381700
Im probablu gonna get fired tomorrow. Thats twice in 3 months. Im not cut out for this misery
>>5381714
Why are they firing you?
Is the zolodex implant worth it?
Anyone have any reviews?
Prosthetics to help with dysphoria, mostly for ftms
http://www.ecprosthetics.com/
but they recently developed a prosthetic vagina for mtfs
http://www.ecprosthetics.com/_The_Vagina__realistic_silicone_p/p2596364_15031084.aspx
>>5381724
Aforementioned derpiness. I fucked up my schedule and ncns twice
>>5379944
because I don't want to be notable. I just want to live a normal, unremarkable life, and my personality is masculine. I haven't really had trouble fitting in with men, and the way I act is on the masculine side of the spectrum. Now, this kind of thing wouldn't prevent a cis woman from blending in really, but it just gets weirder in other cases
like if I did transition and change nothing then I'd basically be relegated to interacting only with other "progressive" types and avoided by average person or just allowed to stay around even if they're actually weirded out by me
Sometimes I find myself thinking I should just give up on this, that there is no way I am, that Im not because reasons. But I just cant stop coming back to this. I know if I tell myself to move on and be a man Im just gonna be back here the same way I am now after having just done that. I wish either of those pills (b cis girl now, trans shit goes away now) existed because Id take either fucking one in a heartbeat.
If I have body dysmorphia and eating disorders and my only sense of beauty or worth is feminine, would hormones/surgery even help? I've felt repulsed by myself as a man for years and finally at the point where I can do something but somehow I don't know if I would be happier ever. Is there even an answer? I feel like in the back of my mind just nothing will be enough.
