How do I be girly without overdoing it? My gf says I act too girly sometimes and it's annoying. Here's the trip;
>I'm not trying to
>I'm just more comfortable being myself since I told her I am mtf
>"if I had a gf I would want a more butch gf"
>mfw I want to be basic and girly full time in the next year or 2.
>>5352198
>wanting a butch partner
More proof that most "lesbians" are just straight girls in denial.
>>5352216
She is bicis. So double scum around these parts hmmm? We've been together a really long time. I don't think I'm being annoying even I think it's just different and weird for her still. I wasn't super masc before but I didn't refer to myself as being her girlfriend/ her girl either. A day after I told her she told me she sees me as her gf now and a few times a week she will give me a nice pronoun boost so she is supportive, but I don't wanna run her off by acting too girly, even if I'm not actually acting.
>>5352238
Yeah I can pretty much tell this isn't going to work out in the long term. I mean, I'm not saying dump her right now. I'd still give her the benefit of the doubt and see if she can adjust to the situation, but she sounds like pretty standard biscum. Over time I can see you feeling more stifled by her discomfort with your gender expression. But the decision is ultimately yours to make.
>>5352198
Shit I don't know. My friends say I act super girly all the time now but I'm genuinely confused why they think that because I'm not trying to put on any facade or anything
>>5352258
We were talking about if I was gonna do HRT and if we should have a kid first ( like I said we've been together a long time) and after we were done I said "I don't wanna be anyone else's girlfriend, just yours" and that was too girly apparently. I was just trying to be sweet D:
>>5352346
I understand not wanting to end a LTR, being trans it feels especiallly hard to believe that you'll find someone who will accept you at all if they didn't get to know you first, but let me tell you something... if you're not the "type of girl" she's attracted to, then this relationship is going to be a long road of misery for you both.
You need to really ask yourself what sort of girl you want to be, because it isn't "putting on an act" it is self-discovery, OP. You're finally getting to try out feminine personas, one of them will eventually click for you and being the right one. It might not be the butch lesbian your current GF prefers.
It is unfair to you to only allow yourself to explore self-expression within the limits you your current lover's preference. You two should probably take an extended hiatus, and you can test out different ways of "being", go out and present differently.
Don't limit yourself right out the gate.
>>5352375
I hope it is her just not being used to it yet, but I see what you mean. Idk I am literally just acting how I always want to. I'm not cycling through personas, I am just being myself.
>>5352435
You probably aren't aware of your own extremes is all, OP.
It's like when my best bud came out of the closet, he became a sparkle fairy queen then toned down.
When I first started living as male, I went hard-line hetero redneck. Denied my own mid-range bi-scum inclinations.
Now I'm just chill... I'm also 33, so being an old fag helps.
>>5352375
All of this. Ending a relationship can be difficult, but you need to ask yourself how important it is that you're able to express yourself freely without being judged by your partner. You're discovering who you are and if this is going to be a point of friction between you two its worth considering either ending it or putting the relationship on the back burner. Your gf needs someone that can fulfill her needs and you need someone who will let you be yourself.
Also for the love of god do NOT have kid with this girl unless you're absolutely sure you want to be together and that she's going to support you through your transition. Support is a two way street and you can't be all give all the time. You don't want to end up having a boat anchor that constantly reminds you of a failed relationship and keeps you shackled to said failed relationship. It's a massive responsibility and not a decision that should be made hastily, especially if there's any question of financial security. Because when it comes down to the kid vs transition the kid is almost always going to win.
>>5353578
Well the thought was to have the kid, when she is 3 months along I start taking hormones so by time the child is born 6 months later I can assume the role of mother as well. I'm going to ask my endo about progesterone/prolactin so I can lactate and feed my child once it is born.
>>5352454
>tfw no mid 30s ftm bf
>>5352198
She signed up for a relationship with a man & now she has stuck in a relationship with a transsexual.
Frankly you should probably end it now & save some time & heartache.
>>5354951
The only problem she has is when I act too girly. She is looking forward to me having tits and hips and our sex has gotten SOOOOOO much better. I think she is fetishizing it a little though, perhaps unknowingly by just trying to be supportive. She's def gotten more into pegging me. The first time she wouldn't move much and just let me grind and wouldn't even put it on but now she's pulling my hair and making me beg for more which is just amazing tbqh.
I think you gals are being a little cynical though. I didn't ask if we should break up I asked how I could be girly without overdoing it. I know historically we are doomed to break up but not in any specific terms.
>>5352346
Do you have any other examples? Right there it sounds like she doesnt exactly like you framing your relationship as you being her girl, kind of implying that shes the one with the pants i guess
Sounds like she wants more of a confident provider figure? but id need more examples of what she dislikes
>>5352454
Good advice. Also gay bottom animu Tony Stark?! That is now my jam.
>>5354988
she sounds like a closeted transdude
>>5352198
Just be you.
Fuck what anyone else says.
>>5355472
She just doesn't like basic white girl behavior. I think it bugs her that I'm more vocal during sex now too. My high school gf gave me shit about sounding like a chick when we fucked so I don't make any noise at all now until the last few months, which has also been a change for her. I do moan like a cat in heat when she's pegging me or sucking on my nips/ playing with what little chest I have but I don't see anything wrong with that really. It isn't excessive but we def gotta put on some music if anyone else is home. She thinks I'm doing it to overcompensate though, but really I'm just doing what feels right.
>1wk after coming out
>spend an hour shaving and getting all perfect for her.
>rub citrus lotion all over, feel soft and smooth af for the first time in years and loving it
>"I like the new you!"
>"it's not new, I'm just not repressing myself anymore for the sake of appearing more masc/less femme"
I'm really worried sometimes she doesn't quite get it.
