I'm mtf and this one guy is looking for a "serious relationship" with me. He claimed he already had relationship with a trans girl before so that's why I contacted him. I looked him up using his email and found out he's 40, "total dom" and into BDSM. I am so frightened but to admit the truth also a little wet. It's one of my fantasies to have a dominant daddy but the idea of it becoming real scares me more than ever because I never actually did it.
I know he will take advantage of me but I can't help it. I am so stupid, I already know the reason why he responded to me and I am certain it's not because he is interested in me.
I am scared he's going to hurt me, my legs are shaking and I think I am going to cry. I really wanted to date some gentle boy my age this time, not some BDSM pro who potentially gets off to emasculating males or something.
What should I do? Should I ignore him or tell him straight up about what I found out about him? Most of the stuff I found about him is 4 years old, could he change meanwhile? WHY DO I ONLY ATTRACT WEIRD GUYS?
You attract weird guys because you're a weird freak zoo attraction.
>>5339106
If he's a good dom, he won't take advantage of you, and he'll take things at the right pace.
Shitty doms aren't worth being with just to get the sub experience. You'd be better off waiting if he really tries to take advantage.
Discuss your reservations with him and if he doesn't convince you then move on
>>5339120
Asshole.
>>5339129
He seems mature enough and he hasn't been pressuring me into anything yet so that's good about him. It's true most of what I have found about him was him doming people for money with a female friend of his but idk what to think about all of this.
In a part it seems like he's only targeting me because like the (>>5339120) said I am just a freakshow.
Do you know him well? Can he be in a healthy relationship with you outside of BDSM stuff? Me and my boyfriend are really into that stuff but we also love and understand each other
>>5339106
what >>5339194 said. There's more to a "serious relationship" than BDSM stuff. If by "serious" he meant EXTREME like a 24/7 slave relationship, that's pretty lame and I'd stay away.
But yeah, if he's a good dom he'll take things slow and he won't push your limits. >>5339137 is good advice.
>>5339254
if he treats you like a human and understands your needs things can go fine ^_^
>>5339106
>single Mtf
>Optimistically try to date with a level head and an open heart
Not even once. Minority Report dat shit.
Continue sabotaging all relationships before they can bloom.
Update: He just replied and it's as if he was reading my mind. He said he's 43 and looking for an actual relationship with a woman where a woman knows her place "just like in the past." Oh and he mentioned he's dominant.
I am not sure how to feel about this. Still, he's up front about this but I fear he comes off as someone who would be domineering in every aspect of my life. It's plain to see he's looking for a 50s housewife and is probably willing to make one out of me. If this isn't grooming then I don't know what is.
>>5339396
Men sometimes scare me, so...
>>5339794
>looking for an actual relationship with a woman where a woman knows her place "just like in the past."
nope the fuck out of there
>>5339794
Yea no, he sounds creepy and misogynistic. Sounds like he's going after trans girls cause most normal women wouldn't put up with that. I'd bail.
>>5339794
fucking bail, hes a spook
>>5339106
Don't rush into it, you may want it as a fetish but that only lasts so long. Take it slow be safe, why did his last relationship fall thru?
Can you talk to that person? Who knows she might say he beat her or some shit.
Why are you even deliberating over this? He's a fucking disgusting creep and you should distance yourself as far as fucking possible from him.
End of thread.
>>5339179
Be careful, I once dealt with someone who was gentle for three months and gained my trust, then started manipulating me and hurting me and demanding more and more of me without giving me a chance of get rid of my love and escape from him, and that was only over the internet. If I had met him IRL I might still be in his hands.
The way you type is really annoying and pathetic, one subby mtf to another...
That said I understand being attracted to dominant men (read: not weird BDSM crap, just dominant attitude) but being uneasy about opening yourself up to someone as well
>>5339794
Lol he sounds kind of dumb and cringey desu. Like if hes so confident and wants that kind of relationship he shouldn't have to say "woman knows her place" like idk that just sounds like cringy language. There are more mature ways to talk about a relationship like that. Many men (maybe most) like that kind of relationship anyway, its not special.
But if hes really hot then idk. ha.
>>5340700
That sounds pathetic of you. I would hate to have no self esteem and actually take internet relationships seriously lol
>>5339106
How old are you?
>>5340772
>look at me being completely flawless and only coming here to laugh at you losers
eat shit nigga
>>5340769
>But if hes really hot
>tfw when girls will let a guy be a complete cunt, as long as he's hot
y u so shallow tho?
>>5341071
Well I am just shallow by nature. I am very into facial aesthetics. Its important for my job too. I find very specific things attractive aesthetic. Sometimes I am confused with what other girls think is attractive. Everyone focuses on different things. Also being a cunt is hot. Being an unfunny loser with low self esteem isn't.
Just think back to gradeschool. People don't change. Human interaction remains just as childish and emotion driven in adulthood.
>>5340880
Meh don't worry I feel just as inferior compared to other members of society that have it better than me socially
>>5341180
>Also being a cunt is hot. Being an unfunny loser with low self esteem isn't.
Hmmmm, anyone would think there isn't a massive amount of guys in between those 2 extremes
>>5341279
What do you consider being a cunt?
>>5339794
No you need to bail, dude is a creep.
Also men are scary when you make them scary ... sometimes.
>>5339892
>>5339973
>>5340079
>>5340769
>>5342259
Uhm he actually said "by his side" but I read his message wrong the first time because it was late and I was tired. Sorry for a huge misunderstanding I caused.
>>5339794
This isn't directly relevant to OP's thing, but " fear of 'grooming' " is one of the stupider things that feminism has come up with in the past few years.
Leaving OP's catch aside, "ew grooming xD" is a cheap way for women to equate anyone they don't like with pedos (since 'grooming' historically has that connotation). It's also hypocritical because of course a woman wouldn't mind if Chad teaches her how to behave and otherwise turns out to be an acceptable, non-abusive partner. The problem of course is when a legbeard or an old fat dom starts acting like he has bargaining power.
So 'grooming' isn't what's actually bad, women (demeaning themselves) with legbeards and old sketchy doms is. But they can't just say that unless cornered or feeling snarky on the phone, because face-to-face confrontation is the worst thing ever.
>>5342363
By his side is much better than him saying knowing her place. Knowing her place implies he wants you to serve him like some housewife/servant. By your side however, to me, comes off more as him treating you like an equal, which is good. A dominant and submissive as supposed to be equals, not with one having more power than the other in the relationship ship. It's a relationship built on mutual trust, not one taking it by force. I don't know OP. You could let him know of your thoughts on the matter, and would be better than simply refusing to respond to him. That way you can begin establishing something with him if you're desire to take your messaging a little further, rather than an accident happening or you cutting off contact spontaneously without getting some more of his input.
>>5341071
>implying men are any different
>>5342363
Call me a newfag or whatever but
Double check though. Meet at a public place and just talk. If you want to have a dom then set limits. As a beginning dom I have learned to always ask what are my partners limits and or how comfortable they are with the situation. Hell I have had some sub boyfriends who did not want to do BDSM at all. Then other times I had some girlfriends where they wanted some extreme bondage. If you don't want to date an older guy then don't, no one is forcing you but if they are then they can fuck off.
>>5343052
It wasn't intentional but I can see how it could be read that way. Yes, some guys can be just as bad but I think it's more prevalent amongst women.
