This is the Trans Help General thread. We'll try to help you here with everything related to being transgender.
This includes questioning, appearance, daily trans problems, medical info, general info and other interesting stuff to name a few.
MTF, FTM and questioning people are all welcome here to help eachother and discuss possible solutions.
You can also share your transgender related stories here. Just came out? Or you just need to get something off your chest?
Maybe something wonderful happened today! We'll be glad to hear it, it's always good to know we're not going through this alone.
Links:
Articles, Studies and General information about Questioning, Transitioning and other stuff: http://pastebin.com/CyW1dXV8
Lots of useful links about/for transgender people: http://pastebin.com/h1vLPxyV
Transgender FAQ: http://pastebin.com/8QbKyShU
Am i trans/ trans help threads archive:
http://archive.loveisover.me/lgbt/search/text/trans%20help%20general%20%23/username/annicole/type/op/
Therapists: http://www.t-vox.org/index.php?title=Therapists_by_region
http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php
sort by transsexual issues
What will hormones do?
mtf: http://imgur.com/lDBLSVR
ftm: http://imgur.com/HqTqvJg
Previous thread: >>5282875
>>5327500
I dug out my blood test results from a few weeks ago and my prolactin levels are listed as 7.6 ng/mL, with 3.5-19.4 ng/mL as the standard range. Am I okay or is the symptom still a problem?
Does anyone know about competent gender therapists around Paris?
>>5327922
if its within the normal range, it shouldn't be a problem. It's still not normal to lactate, so get it checked out.
>>5328020
You can't really do much except looking for another gp who may help you or something like that
Or you just try to wait and bear it and hope it gets better
>>5328078
In some things your docs are actually right
Normally your brain will get better after some time
It's pretty common to have strong depression after an accident and you think it'll never get better
But it does
The same thing happens to people after a surgery, they think it'll never heal and fall into deep sadness, but it will heal
and being raped actually doesn't help it
I hope you find help
>>5328132
Ok, i don't know stuff about neurotoxins but normally docs have to help you or you could sue them and they would lose their license or something like that
The surgery thing was just an example of people not thinking they heal but they do, just ignore that part, didn't know your problem actuallly gets worse
>>5324537
I personally thing not going on E would be worse than going on E and eventually getting cancer 15 20 years later.
>>5324489
>>5324508
I'm in the same situation. Just do it!!! It is only a small increase in cancer chances, and breast cancer is one of the ones most easily treated ones if caught early. Learn to do breast self exams.
I saw this on a counselor's site. How true is this (specifically #1)?
>>5327905
Can someone tell me exactly where to start transitioning? how should i start? i really don´t know where to start on this
>>5328608
Normally you start a therapy with a psychotherapist, the best thing would be if they know about trans stuff
After that you'll normally get hormones and stuff
Or you self med
But it actually depends on where you live and what you want
Where i live most therapists still want you to do RLE without hormones for a year
>>5328648
thanks, i will try it
>>5328608
If you're in the US:
See a therapist who specializes in gender identity. Make it clear you hate being male and want to transition. Hopefully they won't take too many sessions to approve you for HRT but this varies a lot. You'll get a referral letter for an endocrinologist. Appointments for those usually take at least a few months because of all the type 2 diabetics clogging the system. The endo will order a blood test and make sure you're healthy and everything and then start you on HRT.
In the meantime there's a whole lot of other stuff you can start working on. Start paying attention to women's fashion, practice make-up, get electrolysis or laser for facial hair removal, train your voice, etc.
If you have questions feel free to ask
>>5328351
Are you saying the counselor is lying?
>get crazy cocklust on E
>go from bi to thinking almost entirely about guys
>dirty talk with bf
>says he wants to watch me have sex with another girl
fug
Lets try this gain.. this seems like the right thread
So I've got a friend who is trans. Well "she's" more like my best friend since we've known each other since we were kids. But she just recently came out as trans to me. I wasnt that surprised desu shes always been kinda girly.
But anyway since she has started taking the hormones treatment hanging around her is weird like I feel like she is getting too friendly. like how she acts reminds me of some drunk bitch who is horny as fuck and waiting for me to make a move.
So what the fuck is going on here? I need some educated opinions on what to do.
Also uhh.. having like an FWB thing isnt totally out of the question but I wouldnt want it to be more than that or jeopardize our friendship.
>>5328967
Have you ever met a counselor?
>>5329081
Give her the D
make a woman out of her
>>5329137
solid advice..but do you think it will fuck up our friendship?
Like your best friend makes a move on you/asks if youre dtf...but youre not? I mean if I'm wrong would she be offended?
I've known her for a long time and I dont want to ruin our friendship over something like this cause i'll feel like a major asshole.
>>5329186
if you broke up with her. could you still be friends? if yes, dick her. if not, get her a bf so she stops wanting to get fucked.
>>5329081
second puberty will do that
Anybody that thinks they're the opposite gender is mentality ill.
>>5329255
and there's nothing wrong with being mentally ill
/thread
>>5329255
nice bait
>>5329255
>tfw no /pol/ bf to hatefuck you and call you a filthy degenerate for cumming without his permission
>>5329290
idktf
>tfw mom wont stop saying I'm taking things too fast
I appreciate that my mom supports me but I really wish she'd just do that instead of questioning me all the time.
How do you know if you suffer from true gender/ body dysphoria that trans women experience?
I always hated being forced to be a boy as a child and felt more like a girl. I'd often pray to god to wake up a girl. I used to cross dress in sisters hand me down clothes as well. Then when I started going through puberty at 11-12 years of age I started to hate how my body was getting bigger and masculine, like I hated that my feet her getting bigger and that I couldn't wear any of my sisters shoes anymore and I hated that my ribcage was getting wider which made it harder to wear some girl tops and dresses. I hated that my legs were getting hairy and would shave it off in secret. I hated when I noticed the light peach fuzz hair under my lip was starting to get darker and thicker so I started shaving that all the time too. I also hated the fact that I was getting taller from 5'5 to 5'8 in a matter of 2-3 years. I hated these changes in my body but I just thought it was normal and that it's a part of puberty that i'll get used to. There wasn't anything I could do to stop that I knew of anyway so I started to accept this as my body for the most part but sometimes it would really bother me and I'd just reassure myself "well that's life, maybe if I'm lucky i'll be reincarnated into a girl in my next life" and that's how I rationalized it. I'd get very jealous of girls my age and stopped hanging around them because I'd get super jealous and depressed and also because I wasn't sexually attracted to them anyway like my guys friends, I'd actually get jealous that those girls were getting the attention from my male friends and not me as well. I started doing drugs and hanging with s bad crowd for attention and to escape my trans thoughts.
I'm pretty sure I'm trans but there's always that 1% chance that I'm not. I wonder if I only experienced this body dysphoria because I liked to crossdress and going through puberty made that impossible/ made me look ugly and masculine.
>>5329509
Anon you sound like textbook trans.
>>5329457
Same.
I'm fucking 20, 21 in a week and my dad wants me to wait another year.
These are hon times dad.... hon times...
what/where is the cheapest to buy for mtf self med?
>>5329580
if you took 5 minutes to explore the links posted in every single one of these threads, you would know
my bf has just started hormones for the whole mtf thing, he's still young so going through with it while he still can.
I don't really have any idea what this will impact apart from him becoming girlmode and growing boobs. But I am supporting him none the less.
Anything I should keep in mind or know in particular?
>>5329694
Keep in mind that the whole 'he, him, his' thing will most likely not be appreciated in the long run.
>>5329457
They'll think you're going too fast no matter what because they still don't really understand what you're going through. You just have to ignore them
>>5329519
This
I mean sans like trying to cut your dick off I don't know if I could come up with a trannier narrative if I tried
>>5329694
Start using female pronouns and think of her/treat her like a girl to the best of your ability.
>>5329646
I did, many hours. and there's way too much, it's overwhelming. I don't know what to trust, and would like a person's updated opinion.
Hello there, good night everyone.
So i want to make my transition to MtF
And i wonder if someone is from México, and where can i get the medicine so i can achieve what i need.
>>5329694
Are you a woman? You (may) get dumped for a man.
So how exactly does HRT affect muscles?
What muscles does it make smaller and which don't change?
Right now I'm pretty bulky, my muscle mass is large.
Will HRT make my neck smaller? What about my back? My shoulders?
>>5329922
Yes, yes, yes. You get female muscles after a long enough time, more or less. Problems with body proportions come from the masculine skeleton
>>5329519
>>5329738
>classic trans
I guess I really am trans but I thought maybe I was a crossdresser because a lot of my body dysphoria revolves around my body becoming masculine and thus making cross dressing pointless if I look like a guy in girl clothes. I've always hated my body being masculine but it's not like "OMG OMG I'm gonna kill myself this is so bad" kinda feeling, it's more like "I really hate my body being masculine, I wish I were female, there's nothing I can do about it though" then cue the depression and drugs to try and make myself feel better.
Regarding the whole dick thing, I hate it but I'm not jumping at the chance to chop it off either. I tried masturbating with my hand like most guys do once when I was 14 and it actually made me feel sick because it made me feel like a man. I never masturbated that way again, instead I just kinda rub/grind my junk against my pillow pretending I have a clit. That or anal is how I masturbate and honestly I don't pleasure myself that often either.
>>5329991
>Regarding the whole dick thing, I hate it but I'm not jumping at the chance to chop it off either. I tried masturbating with my hand like most guys do once when I was 14 and it actually made me feel sick because it made me feel like a man. I never masturbated that way again, instead I just kinda rub/grind my junk against my pillow pretending I have a clit. That or anal is how I masturbate and honestly I don't pleasure myself that often either.
Normally I just say "see a therapist and work things out" to people but seriously please get on HRT as soon as you can
>>5329991
>Regarding the whole dick thing, I hate it but I'm not jumping at the chance to chop it off either. I tried masturbating with my hand like most guys do once when I was 14 and it actually made me feel sick because it made me feel like a man. I never masturbated that way again, instead I just kinda rub/grind my junk against my pillow pretending I have a clit. That or anal is how I masturbate and honestly I don't pleasure myself that often either.
holy shit that's me.
>>5329646
QHI is good. Inhouse is the best desu.
>>5329865
QHI.
>>5329991
funny i was introduced to masturbating by boys in my class around the same time too. i was stunned the first time we got together and they just whipped out their dicks like that and started fapping while i was just sitting there with my hands folded on my lap
anyway i tried it out later at home but it made me sick on it its own, depressed and feeling really gross. it really sucked every time i did it and it only improved now since starting HRT but penile orgasms are fucking lackluster
>>5330088
Pretty sure, check the site to be sure.
I don't know what happened but out of the blue my breast stopped being sore
Ive been on HRT for a few (6-7months) and they are still kind of sore at the base but they aren't compressed/very sensitive at the nipple anymore
is this normal?
Transman for 6 years. I don't get offended. I'll answer whatever awkward or weird question someone has. Hormones for 11 months. Referrals for surgery.
>>5330144
What do you do about sex? Like, how can you comfortably have sex without a dick? Mtfs still have holes to fuck but I don't know how ftms deal with that
>>5330148
I consider myself gay. I am bottom, so I have anal sex like any biological male would.
If a transman is comfortable with his body, some still have vaginal sex or use a strap on. It depends on the person. I'm 100% a bottom so.
>2 years hrt
>this is what ive got
http://m.imgur.com/W1zcvFV
Give me 2 good reasons to not throw myself off a roof into an empty dumpster
>>5330201
1) You could be a transman who has to bind every single day
2) You have physical proof that you're female.
3) Surgery can help, staying longer on hormones can help too, you're not done.
>>5330153
mtf here, that is incredibly fascinating.
How would you feel about a guy giving you oral? Personally I hate the thought of anyone going down on me now.
>>5330225
It depends on the guy. I've let my boyfriend touch me a few times, and I have had vaginal sex with him too.
In my mind I know my gender, and no matter what we do, my boyfriend will always see me as male. That's what counts.
Your body is just physical. If it feels good and you're comfortable with the other person, I don't see why I can't do it. Some people can't and I get that. Some days dysphoria is too much and I don't even want to take off my binder.
I started taking 200mg Spiro 2 weeks ago and tonight I'm getting chest pain like crazy
Am I going to die? What do I do
>>5330246
200mg
holy shit that's a lot. u ded.
>>5330252
200 is a normal daily dosage, when done 100mg at a time with breakfast and dinner.
FtM here. Due to immigration and legal issues I HAD to get bottom surgery. I wasn't abe to legally change my gender marker on my birth documents without it, and thus was unable to move to a new country because I'd have been unable to get legally married in the new country - voiding my fiancee visa.
Given a free choice, I'd have left my lower bits alone. I'm a mess of scarred poorly done work. Physical contact down there is usually painful. It has been over 4 years and sometimes I still get irritation along the scars.
Oh well.
...fml LOL
>>5330216
>you have to save thousands of dollars to get surgery
Thats encouraging
>more time will help
Its a dim hope at this point.
>>5330287
If you're already set to be negative, you're going to find flaws in anything. There's no point trying to move a metal pole.
Accept yourself. Explore your options. Lots of countries cover the surgery, including my province (Nova Scotia). If you know your country doesn't, explore your options. Nothing is hopeless. If you won't accept help you're never going to change the way you think.
>>5330308
I dont rly want implants desu. Id rather have a flat chest and wear inserts
Fat grafts look promising but you have to buy them
Anyone else ever just stop caring? About everything, really? I feel so indifferent to most stuff.
>>5330273
Sorry anon that sucks, have you seen anyone in your new country to help with pain or anything?
>>5330338
I feel that way now. But it's nice not feeling shitty and depressed for a change.
>>5330365
Becoming a NEET helped me feel much less shitty and depressed all the time, you should become a basement dweller too
Any tips on coming out to religious parents?
>>5330393
What flavor of religious?
>>5330401
Christian. They're not super crazy fundamentalist or anything but religion is a big deal to them.
>>5330408
I want my titty skittles though :(
>>5330393
"This is what I need to do to be happy. If you love me, you'll accept me."
Sounds like tough love but it'll get the message across. If you're over 18 years old you're legally entitled to do what you want with your own body.
>>5330414
It's not worth it. While you're living with them you're under their mercy. You could end up another homeless tranny.
>>5330429
I'm 18 and in college...that's sort of independent, right?
>>5330432
Not if they're paying for it. If they're not then fuck it tell them. Don't get your hopes up tho
Has anyone compared a straightforward transition to a stop and go for breast growth because i ran out of e self med and was just in spiro and it seems like my breasts are developing more...outward then before?
>>5330414
can always self med behind there back
>>5330443
I'm scared of that though, isn't it dangerous if you don't know the levels?
>>5330452
yeahh, you have to be very cautious about self-medding and read up on it until you know about how much you need to take. You might also want to get liver tests done at a pathology lab if you're going with pills, they'll fuck your liver up if you're not careful.
>>5330460
I myself just said fuck it and did it anyway. It was either be at the mercy of some fuckwit/kill myself or do it.
Does anyone at all in oklahoma provide hrt or am i just fucked?
>>5330502
I live near oklahoma city if you want me to be your drug dealer
report this unless you want it to be a reoccurring general
>>5331031
>>5331031
>>5331031
>>5331031
>>5331259
what was it? I gotsta know?
>>5331368
terf thread
>>5331370
what like...terf general or something?
>>5331375
i think its tenuously related to lgbt enough enough that the mods might not delete it and i could see /pol/ picking it up
we have to stop these kinds of threads before they start
>>5327905
Question for all MtF's.
How many of you dress daily? Do you definitely pass, nobody suspecting a thing unless being told?
Wondering how common trans are and if girls I see daily might really have a penis.
Not a bad thing, that'd be dope af.
>>5331521
If MtFs are coming here, they probably aren't fully transitioned and/or they don't pass.
Once someone makes it, they normally stop talking about trans stuff and hanging out in these places.
>>5331528
Didn't help much. Have experiences with very passable?
>>5331009
hey go on and date her dude, if you liked the bj you could probably go for more.
>>5331549
I have known them, even older transitioners (40s). How many are actually out there I couldn't say.
I know someone who doesn't think they pass at all, who I think is semi-passing, but other people think she passes.
First you pass to strangers, then to friends, then family, then finally (if ever) yourself.
>>5331593
He said he only wanted to be FWBs at most.
>>5331687
Thanks for responding :p
I mean just go as girls. I have a female friend who's dating a mtf and he kind of goes back and forth. Is that common, or do most just plain-girl clothes it all the time and never give off a clue?
A face pic would be helpful too if it's not too much
So I just got rejected from a trans clinic. They want me to continue meeting with a psychiatrist for some more time to determine if my identity is for real.
The thing here is I don't want to wait that long. The medical system for trans folk is fucked up and truly the epitome of gatekeeper mentality.
Should I self med? And where could I order mones that have shipping to northern Europe?
What's the risk of my meds being confiscated in customs?
Or should I just go with the system that requires 2-3 years of psychological examinations to find out if one is really trans before they are prescribed mones?
>>5332242
Self-med if you're sure
I don't mind requiring therapy when it's like a couple of months but years of gatekeeping is absurd
>>5331521
Boymode
forever
>>5331521
I pass and dress like girls in my area, not even my coworkers work except for one who was a friend of mine pre-hrt.
>>5332278
Yeah I'm 100% sure. I came out of denial only a couple of months ago which is probably why they didn't take me in, but honestly I've been showing traits of trans identity for years so I know.
My current plan is going to the psychiatrist to see what's up with that, like are they going to hold me back for years. If that's so I'll just self med my way to happiness
Self medding while underage? Asking for a friend
>>5332549
Just need a source of income and a PO box
I felt a really strong desire to be a girl earlier this year. I always wanted to be female, but at this point, it was all I could think about. My male face bothered me, my body bothered me. I felt really annoyed each time my dick got hard because it was inconvenient and unwanted. I would fantasize about being female to be happy. Then it didn't feel as strong and things were "normal" again. I thought I was just confused earlier.
...It's coming back
>>5332614
>>5332614
You hit every mark of what it feels like to be trans.
>>5332667
I always thought "I'm not trans, I just appreciate women and am jealous of them", but this desire becomes almost debilitating. I thought I could just push through. But... maybe I can't. Maybe this is stronger than me
>>5332701
I've been there. There was one time I lost 30 lbs because I didn't want to eat anything and couldn't do anything but lay in bed all day wanting to die.
Right now I'm 6 months on HRT, a good bit of money saved up for FFS and I found a bf. Never been happier in all the years of my life
>>5332717
>I found a bf
The idea of being someone's girlfriend, not boyfriend, is probably my most powerful happy place. I always like to imagine being a soft vulnerable girl in the arms of a big strong man as he protects me and makes me feel safe and loved.
And I have to be a girl in this. It just doesn't work any other way.
>>5332717
And to add: I've never really wanted to die, but I just don't feel like I'm living the life I should live. The life I truly want and desire.
>>5332728
Believe me, it's wonderful. Being told you make him feel like a man and he just wants you to be happy
>>5332701
>right in the feels
>>5332755
At the same time, if I had a way to get rid of these feelings and feel comfortable as a man, I wouldn't want to do it.
I don't want to throw away my dreams and feel empty inside.
>>5332764
t r a n s
r
a
n
s
So does anyone have any good coming out stories?
>>5332790
>but I'm not trans though, I can't be...
>every trans ever
>>5332790
Am I?
I feel like if I am, it would explain a lot, and there might be a chance that I could find happiness.
But how would I know?
>>5332828
I'm going off of the impression you're giving me of all of your hopes and dreams being based around being a girl and life being empty otherwise
A gender identity therapist would help if you're unsure though
>>5332828
What you said is 100%, cast iron and gold plated trans as fuck.
You've got doubts, the "surely not ME?". That is also cast iron gold plated trans.
You'll have those doubts at the back of your mind for years, too. Also standard.
This is the point where I say "go and see a therapist".
>>5332736
>You'll never have this.
>>5332863
lol I didn't think I would either. Never give up
>>5332908
Nobody can make you do anything Anon. Nobody can stop you doing anything either.
I think talking this through with someone would be a good thing. Either way, you might be happier if you have things figured out better.
So I'm gonna be switching from 200mg spiro to 50mg Cyproterone, is there anything I should look out for or is switching over straight away fine?
>>5333091
>is switching over straight away fine?
Yes but maybe you should consider switching to 25mg instead, 50 is overkill. I switched from 200mg spiro to 25mg cypro and the cypro was still stronger, also cypro has some nasty side effects especially at higher doses so be careful and make sure you don't take more than you actually need
How do I deal with crippling self hate, body dysmorphic disorder and abusive parents? I just want to die I'll never be a girl I hate life there's no point
>>5333344
The pills come in 50 mg, so I'd have to split them up (half in morning, half at night).
But 25mg seems to be on the lower end of the dosage from what I've read so it shouldn't be too bad. I'd inform my doctor and all that anyway.
Also I'd start off on 25mg a day to begin with to make sure I don't go and suddenly die.
>>5333439
HRT or pic related
Shouldn't progesteronebe cycled? My endo described me 100g 5% progesterone cream daily (1.5g per day)?!
Please also share your experiences with it. Did it help?
>>5333344
should i do cypro instead of spiro? i'm self med scum so i can just order whatever next time
I'm curious about what my hair will look like when it's long, but my mom makes me cut my hair long before it gets anywhere near. Looking at my brother, whose hair is similar to mine, it looks like it'll be an emu bush for a while after I get to grow my hair out. But I want to know what it will look like after that, when it's at my shoulders. I think it's the curly type, yet I'm not sure. Pictures of what my hair texture looks like grown out would be great.
Also, does my skin look too dark for laser hair removal? I think I look a bit lighter/less golden in person, but to be safe, assume that's my actual skin color.
>>5334905
Also, sorry the picture looks like shit.
>>5318144
This is really late, but I missed my chance to reply in the last thread:
>Does oestrogen make you crave cock?
>I've heard mixed things
>If it does, then isn't it a little scary to think that your decision to undertake such a procedure was based on the hormones in your body at the time and is now being overridden by the hormones you've dumped into yourself.
>How do you know if what you're thinking is really your own thoughts and not just a side effect of something else?
>I've noticed that trannies go through years of internal struggles, wrestling their own brains until they finally give in and do what it wants.
>It's like an obese person's brain telling them to eat one more slice of cake. They're convinced that they'll happy if they just eat that extra piece of cake. And if they ever give in, we know how it ends
Every thought is a side effect of something else, in a way. Hormones (amongst other things) change how you think and feel, and there's no way around it; that's just how the body works. You can't have a "neutral" way of thinking that isn't affected by hormones or other factors because hormone signalling is integral to how consciousness (or actually just the body in general) works in humans; it would be so dramatically different that you wouldn't even be human in that case. I can't even conceive of the way in which such a person would experience things.
It's not unreasonable to assume that if your body is feeling bad in response to your natural sex hormone levels and better after you change them to fit those of the opposite sex, then that's evidence of you being trans.
The cake analogy doesn't really work, since the reason for transitioning is because the dysphoria doesn't go away and it's better in the long run to "give in to the craving", so to speak, since that's the only way to satiate it despite the disadvantages of doing so. With the cake the cravings aren't debilitating (unlike the dysphoria), and will eventually go away.
>wish i could just be a normal guy
>really want this to go away
>at the same time i wish it were more clear that i was trans so i could settle this and transition
>ill never get rid of this confusion and feeling stuck between genders
>ill just keep being a mess until its too late
>>5334975
t h e r a p y
h
e
r
a
p
y
>>5335019
Therapist is sick so I'm stuck with this thread.
>>5332181
> female friend
> dating a mtf
> he kind of goes
> he kind
> he
You fucked up broski
>>5335162
>has been completely useless in my experience
I want to believe it's gonna help, but this is my third time in therapy in like 3 years.
I just wanna wake up and this be all gone. I don't want to want to be a girl anymore.
>>5334905
If you're lucky and take care of your knappy ass hair (washing every few days, blow-drying, using product like hair smoothing cream and brushing), you'll probably end up having hair similar to this.
Also, as a brown skinned mtf that's a tad darker than you, laser works just fine. Hurts a little more than for white folks but it's not too bad. Having dark/black hair is A++ for this.
So, I just had my initial appointment, just need to get bloodwork done before I get prescribed anything. My doctor wants to prescribe spiro (Ameriburger) and I was wondering if I should see if he would be amenable to bicalutamide, or even if I should self-med with cypro, because it seems like people only ever talk about how much better they are.
>>5335800
There's nothing wrong with spiro. It's just yurokeks trying to brag about something to make up for their two years of RLE before hormones
>>5335800
Spiro being shitty is an old hon's tale.
Tons of women have lots of luck with spiro.
>>5335370
I think you may be right. I was surprised by your picture because I couldn't think of anyone in my family with hair like that. But really, it's just that my mother and grandmother keep their hair relatively short and I haven't seen my female cousins in a while. Thinking on it, they did have hair like that. Thanks.
What do you mean by lucky though?
>wildly fling between wanting to act like a normal guy and feeling like the idea of being a girl is just ridiculous and weird and stupid, and feeling shitty about my size, how masculine i am, generally about my gender
>can't seem to settle on exactly whether or not this is a real, serious issue for me
>mfw all this and i'm 6 months into hrt, which i started because everyone said it will confirm whether or not you're actually trans
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
>>5336423
How's your mood been on HRT? Notice any changes in your body? What do you think of them?
>>5336423
Pretty much every trans person experiences dysphoria in waves.
I have the feeling that once the moans really start working you'll realize how much happier you are as a girl.
Or you might realize this isn't for you and you can go back.
The great thing about estro is that you can stop at any time and pretty much everything will go back to normal.
>>5336423
>>mfw all this and i'm 6 months into hrt, which i started because everyone said it will confirm whether or not you're actually trans
well fuck
>>5336432
Mood has been fine. It varies obviously but hasn't crashed anywhere near as badly as it did before.
Changes: Softer, clearer skin. Starting to get breast growth. Less body hair, thinner/slower facial hair. I stopped taking the drugs for 2 weeks as a little experiment and my confidence kinda plummeted again, I really felt like those 2 weeks made my face way more rugged and manly and it generally gave me a bit more anxiety, but that could have been anything.
I like the changes but sometimes i just get this feeling all i'm doing is making my body an unattractive, weird male body. Whereas i was lean, slightly muscular, mostly skinny, i've gone to being generally less muscle, less definition, and i have small breasts, but i think i've gained some fat which i definitely don't like.
I like the facial changes overall. I don't think that much has changed but i generally feel better about how i look when i see myself. Not anything specifically, i just feel happier/more content with my appearance.
>>5336457
>The great thing about estro is that you can stop at any time and pretty much everything will go back to normal.
oh yeah this reminds me
They say you're supposed to stop taking hormones for a month before any major surgeries. Does that mean it's best to wait to wait 2+ years before getting FFS or SRS so as not to interfere with breast development or anything?
>>5336465
Oh, and i guess libido and sexuality is another one
My libido went down at first, which actually i kinda liked, but it's been spiking lately lol. Now that it's back, generally my feelings and fantasies towards men are stronger
I might not necessarily have more of a libido but my nipples are really sensitive and sometimes something can touch them and it turns sexual in my head pretty quick lol
do you tend to feel more like a guy when you get turned on, pre-everything?
>>5336487
I guess. Sometimes i get panicky when thoughts cross my mind and stuff, and i sort of lose sight of the fact that this is a gradual process and not a snap decision and there's no rush
>enjoy the dicklust btw
haha i present as just a pretty feminine gay guy and it's pretty much that. ever since i started thinking this stuff through i never really got 'horny'. i got aroused occasionally, way less than how it was mid-puberty, way less than most guys. My actual sex drive was pretty low throughout. Sex felt like something i should want, and like a status thing and this idea of maybe it will clear things up for me.
Now though it's like really intrusive lewd thoughts about guys and stuff i want them to do to me lol. sucks a little because i don't really like being aroused and masturbating in principle and what it does to my body but at the same time it's just like
these thoughts and fantasies are kinda nice lol
>>5336532
>My actual sex drive was pretty low throughout. Sex felt like something i should want, and like a status thing and this idea of maybe it will clear things up for me.
>Now though it's like really intrusive lewd thoughts about guys and stuff i want them to do to me lol.
yeah it feels like it's the same story for all straight trans women
I wonder, do transbians get pussylust?
>>5336604
I'd imagine so. If they're the same as straight tgirls except not straight, they should feel similar lust but towards the proper sex.
>>5330358
>5330273
Nah. I just was the ol' wrinkle-sac and slather up with neosporin. Take two asprin and QQ more in the morning.
>>5336604
>I wonder, do transbians get pussylust?
They have it before hrt.
>>5332764
>At the same time, if I had a way to get rid of these feelings and feel comfortable as a man, I wouldn't want to do it
You probably aren't true trans then, someone who truly experiences gender dysphoria would literally do anything to get rid of it and no trans person actually wants to be trans so saying you wouldn't take a pill to make you comfortable in your birth gender doesn't match up with legit transsexuals.
You might be a tumblr trans trender who doesn't have to transition but wants to anyway so someone presenting you with a cure is not what you want.
>>5336689
Well you could look at that reaction a different way too
Perhaps they feel like accepting being a man, even if it gets rid of these feelings, is some sort of betrayal of themselves.
Perhaps they feel so much like a woman they cant comprehend a life without feeling like this.
Maybe theyre assuming they could never be comfortable as a man, even with a cure, because they believe they would still feel like a woman.
Theres more but I cant remember, too tired for this shit.
>>5336700
>Maybe theyre assuming they could never be comfortable as a man, even with a cure, because they believe they would still feel like a woman.
But that doesn't make any sense given the hypothetical.
>>5336706
For that one, becoming comfortable as a man might be an entire personality change for them, unless they are okay with no dysphoria and living as a very feminine man.
>>5336700
>Perhaps they feel like accepting being a man, even if it gets rid of these feelings, is some sort of betrayal of themselves
I'm me regardless of what gender I physically look like, taking a pill to cure wanting to transform your body to a female one isn't gonna change that. Your gender is only a fraction of your personality anyway and desu most trans people have pretty masculine personalities anyway so it would probably be a plus for them anyway. The others would just be feminine men.
>Maybe theyre assuming they could never be comfortable as a man, even with a cure, because they believe they would still feel like a woman
What >>5336706 said.
so i got my blood tests back but isn't 244 pmol/L oestradiol on the low side?
>>5336689
Fuck off. This reminds me of those hons trying to scare off people from transitioning by saying anyone who doesn't 1:1 match up with their personal experiences isn't trans enough. I hate tumblr shit too but the stuff about "would you take a pill to get rid of dysphoria" is just surface level shit. The actual rationalization they use isn't important so much as the emotional thrust behind their response. I can tell you exactly why a trans person would answer that way, it's because they literally cannot imagine what it feels like to be male
>>5336689
This is so fucking stupid. How many cis girls would say yes to a hypothetical pill that made them a happy man? None. So why would a trans girl.
>>5337033
cis girls don't fucking have dysphoria you mong
>>5337033
Trans girls have experienced life, and sometimes happiness, as a man. A cis girl doesnt have that.
>>5337185
No we fucking haven't, cuntbag.
>>5337187
You havent experienced life so far? Nor been happy ever?
>>5337171
>cis girls don't fucking have dysphoria
I know that. But if you asked the hypothetical question to a depressed cis girl, and her answer was no or hesitant, would you take that to mean she isn't True Depressed, or would you realise that maybe turning into a man is a weird and disturbing concept to women?
>>5337185
>>5337192
>Trans girls have experienced life as a man
I get what you're trying to say but please use your brain
>>5337192
I have never been a "man" and I don't know anything about how a "man" experiences life.
>>5337201
>I get what you're trying to say but please use your brain
What about tgirls who try to man up and get rid of this before caving in and transitioning? Do you not think they would appreciate an alternative to a treatment they tried to avoid needing?
>>5337201
It would certainly call into question the severity of her depression.
Let's frame the same dilemma in a different way:
A cis person is told that magic has happened, and if they do nothing, they will start getting progressively unhappy with their current gender, eventually developing severe dysphoria and desire to be the opposite gender. They are told that instead, they can take a pill that will dispel this magic.
>>5337210
what are you even talking about now, how is this relevant to the original question?
>>5337232
>they can take a pill that will dispel this magic.
but that's not like the original question at all.
why are you trying to twist this situation so much? why put this much effort into trying to claim that somebody saying they wouldn't take a pill to become a man means that they are a man?
>>5337247
Ive been trying to argue that someone can be trans and not want to take the pill, that there are both valid reasons for and not wanting to take it.
I dont know if I feel enough like a girl, or if I even am a girl, I just want to be one for some reason.
>>5337257
>Ive been trying to argue that someone can be trans and not want to take the pill
but that's what I'm saying too?
>>5337275
Yet you're arguing with me.
>>5337275
maybe media just twists a narrative because of humanity's competitive nature
So I just had a thought
Taking estrogen sublingually makes it spike in your blood levels for a bit
Can you use that as an aphrodisiac?
>>5337270
>tfw have the genetics to do whatever i want
>kind of want kids someday though and don't want to be seen as a fucking freak by my kids or have them be the kid with the weird fucked up family
>want to be a teacher too and doing this would fuck up everything
i should just not bother. i hate this
what are some good online pharmacy choices that ship around europe?
>>5337425
best is to put it in your butt. And yes.
>>5337430
But if you have the genetics to be whichever direction you wanna, it won't fuck up anything Anon.
i wouldnt take a pill to remove my dysphoria. its the only emotion i have when everthing feels numb. it gives me the determination to transition and reminds me that it isnt all a dream.
Will losing weight inhibit my breast growth or am I fat enough that it doesn't matter?
I'm 6'0 and 180 pounds, 2 months on HRT
If I push my oblique muscles to my back and stretch my skin over my ribcage, is that a pretty good representation of how my torso will look after hrt?
I ordered some cyproterone this morning off of IHP. They told me I'm supposed to receive a notification on my phone asking for authorization for the payment. How long is that supposed to take? I'm wondering if I was supposed to put hyphens in my phone number, or if it just takes this long.
if i start on horomes how fucked am i? mtf
>>5339397
oops wrong image
>>5339401
Eww
>>5339397
>>5339401
>oops wrong image
>>5339397
Tell me more about why you decided to take a pic of a big cabbage on your computer desk
>>5339443
i ate a whole lettuce once
I ate a whole kabasa once, in a single bite. I was really really hungry.
>>5339483
My kebab?
>>5339401
Well you look much better than I do, my belly sticks out, my posture is bad, and you've got the hairlessness thing down.
>>5336423
>>wildly fling between wanting to act like a normal guy and feeling like the idea of being a girl is just ridiculous and weird and stupid, and feeling shitty about my size, how masculine i am, generally about my gender
>>can't seem to settle on exactly whether or not this is a real, serious issue for me
that's pretty much me, except I'm not on HRT
>>5339600
trust me the hairlessness thing i dont got down. its a loosing fight
>>5339632
Do you epilate? Might help a bit.
>>5339636
hmm ill consider it
>>5339671
Do so, it's painful the first few times but you have a nice period where you're smooth and not constantly fighting an uphill battle.
>>5337247
That's exactly the same question. There are exactly the same options.
>>5339348
Never mind I got the call.
Can't decide if I'm MTF trans or not. The feeling of wanting to be female was never very strong until about 2 months ago, but for as long as I can remember I've plucked out beard hair/nipple hair, and been very shy/ashamed of having hair legs. I've always disliked "normal" male clothes and basically always has worn just sweat pants and tee-shirts (they're baggy and I can almost pretend they're dresses). Never really had many male friends and only ever masturbated because it felt good and always have felt sick afterwards. I've also always have had long hair (10-12 inches). But recently I've started to hate my manliness, (my broad shoulders, deep voice, dick, Adam's apple)
So what do?
>>5340394
You are trans.
>>5340456
Oh goody, any tips on what to do now? I honestly don't have much of a clue.
>>5340394
>So what do?
See a therapist. It's pretty much the first step.
>>5337539
Q H I
H
I
>>5339443
cabbage? i thought it's just used tissues tbqhon
>>5340482
Thank you so much.
>>5340456
That's jumping the gun a bit don't you think
>>5340628
Where's the downside of "jumping the gun" in this situation though? The person they just told that to will now seek out therapy faster and once they're in the therapy process they'll have their doubts resolved in detail.
>lose all family
>lose all friends
>never be comfortable
>never be happy
>forever live a damaged social life
>forever live with the temptation of suicide
Yet I still want to desperately be a girl?
What the FUCK.
>>5337270
>for some reason
You're working with a blank template right now. This is the time you decide which stance you want to take:
>I want to be a girl
>I don't want to be a girl
Once you have decided, you can write a list of reasons and begin to DELUDE yourself into believing what you want to believe.
It's what all trannies do.
>>5336473
FFS before HRT.
>>5340845
I like subtle trolls like this.
>be depressed for a bunch of reasons
>TRANSITION IS NECESSARY FOR MY ETERNAL HAPPINESS
>be feeling fine
>I don't think transition is necessary, I'll consider it later
????????????
>>5340960
What's there not to get? If you're feeling fine why would you want to put yourself through this? It makes sense you'd think that.
I think I still cling to the hope I'll start feeling fine as a guy again and that this time it'll stay like that forever.
>>5340992
The flawed logic here is that I think transition will solve my problems when my reasons for being depressed are unrelated to gender or identity.
>>5341025
Well there you go, if you want to transition for unrelated issues, you probably shouldn't. You'll just get more issues to deal with.
>>5340856
>Surgeon's face when some bearded man walks in asking for FFS when he's never been on hormones in his life
>>5341143
you can make your point/joke without misgendering, pal
>>5341143
What if this person was someone who planned on starting HRT?
if I self medicate for 1-2 months to try it out 2mg/100mg what effects are permanent or visible? Would it look obvious that I once took hormones?
>>5341414
>Would it look obvious that I once took hormones?
nope unless you get some mean breast growth in that time (dont think thats possible)
>>5341414
I don't know if much would happen in only 2 months. You might have tiny breast buds you'd be stuck with but that'd be it
Today I've been afraid I'm trans and in some kind of deep denial. I have no dysphoria about my body (I want to be more masculine, have a bigger dick, etc. though) but sometimes when I'm masturbating I fantasize about being fucked as a girl (I'm gay). Sometimes I wish I was an FTM so I could have a vagina but still look like a guy (since a dick fits it so well and anal takes so much prep).
>>5341834
Isn't wanting to have a vagina sort of dysphoria? You're wishing your genitals were different. I remember years before I started questioning my gender I had similar thoughts. I used to think vaginas sounded so much better, like you could just masturbate by putting your hand down your pants, didn't need to get it out, you could put things up it, etc. They just sounded more Fun to me.
>>5341904
I don't feel dysphoric about my dick, but it'd be nice if I had a member that could morph into a dick or a vagina at will.
>>5341908
>I don't feel dysphoric about my dick
Neither do I. But I'm still almost positive that I'm trans.
>but it'd be nice if I had a member that could morph into a dick or a vagina at will.
Sometimes I wish that instead of balls I had a vagina. Like in my Chinese cartoons
>>5341834
>when I'm masturbating I fantasize about being fucked as a girl
AGP
Before puberty murdered my voice, I loved singing. I sung all day and usually kept going long into the night from bed until my parents came in and told me to shut up.
Life wasn't entirely perfect, but I like to think I was happy.
I mostly played with girls since kindergarten and felt like things were generally okay, so the thought of wanting to be anything else than than the blissfully ignorant boy I was never crossed me.
Today I'm 194 cm tall, my hands are enormous and my freakish feet are size 49/50. Back when I was 14 years old (and 189, feet 44) I felt there was little point in trying, and due to a mixture of previous family issues, bullying and lacklustre support (which I think was even worse than being disowned since it wrecked what little confidence I had without forcing me to act) I did my best to just push it out and feebly tried dealing with my steadily worsening depression by isolation and escapism.
I'm 21 years old now. I dropped out of college due to my crippling social anxiety coupled with a now morbid depression. I have absolutely zero friends.
Sometimes I look back at the few photos (I obviously dislike cameras) of my teenage self and get the urge to end everything on the spot when I think of just how much "better" my chances were back then.
Even if by some miracle HRT made my face look fucking angelic and and gave me a decent shape, even if I had an extensive amount of surgeries to fix my cranium and voice, the "best" scenario would be strangers thinking of me as an ugly she-beast, never finding anything my size ever and feeling like almost as much of a monster as I do now.
And that's if everything worked out amazingly, which I've no hopes for.
Some people dream of ruling a country, getting wealthy or going to space. All I wanted was to look cute in lolita fashion and
Not looking for advice anymore; I just came here to whine since I've got nobody else to listen and talking to myself is getting stale these days. Fuck everything.
>>5342408
girl, don't give up! girls come in many shapes and sizes and your shape and size is as cute as any other shape and size!
>>5341834
Sounds like more of a fetish. If you really desire a vagina of course you can have one, but the surgery is expensive and permanent, so that's a choice you have to make.
I'm getting noticeably pear shaped and my nipples are getting way too pokey for comfort, how the hell do I hide this at work where the uniform is a shirt tucked into belted pants? It's beginning to look like I have kleinfelters.
Hi trans help gen. Last year I had some bad dysphoria and wanted to have boobs and cried because I didn't. This dysphoria went away on its own but then came back earlier on this year, around april/may. This carried on until around july, wherein it vanished and I focused on working out as a plan to try and stave it off. The past few days my dysphoric feelings have come back again and I don't know what to do. I feel like wearing woman's clothing, changing my voice and HRT are really big steps to take, especially if this is just another short wave of feeling like this.
I also want to keep my dysphoria secret from my parents, despite coming out earlier this year, as I fear I'd be a disappointment to them for being this way...
>>5342596
Every day, every hour, every fucking second you spend stalling will be looked back at with suicidal regret when you get older. Save yourself before it's too late.
>>5337232
>>5339708
It's not.
"Cis male->stay as cis male rather than getting dysphoria" is equivalent to "MtF (with dysphoria)->cis female", not "MtF (with dysphoria)->cis male". In both scenarios the person wants to have a body that matches their identity; in the cis person that body is the one they already have, so they don't want to change it, and in the trans person it's the body of the opposite sex and therefore they want to change theirs.
Technically, making an MtF completely female and making them a cis male would each relieve them of their dysphoria equally. However, making them into a cis male would involve changing their mind on a fundamental level (while their mind would stay the same in the scenario where their body was made female), which is something that many people wouldn't be comfortable with in principle even though after the change had been made they would be fine with being a cis male (since that's what "being a cis male" means; if they weren't fine then they wouldn't be cis).
I'm MtF, and I honestly don't know what I'd do in this scenario. Obviously I want my dysphoria to go away (as would any trans person), and I know that if I was a cis male then I'd be fine with it; Despite that, I still can't conceive of myself as a man and I certainly don't want to be a man. I'm a girl; I should be female. I honestly believe that; I might even go so far as to say I understood that. Just because my body is male now doesn't make that identity any less strong or valid. The magic pill or whatever would make me want it, but my gender is so fundamental to my identity (it's the kind of thing that's not a much higher-level aspect of identity than things like "I'm human" or "I exist") that the result would be so divorced from who I am that I don't know if I'd consider it to still be "me".
I'd still choose to be a cis male if I couldn't be female and ended up desperate enough.
>>5342747
The pill to become a cis male is probably for people like me.
>feel like I'm trans but probably just confused
>would really rather not have to deal with all of this
>could see a successful life if all of this just went away
However if the pill to be cis female existed at the same time, I'd take that, no reason not to.
So I let my therapist know that I've been cutting myself since it got really bad the other night. She said she thinks I need to work out my psychological issues before considering HRT.
Can I convince her that I want the hormones anyway? At least t-blockers? What's your opinion on using t-blockers while you talk with a gender therapist? Like just to surpress male puberty until you work it out
hello I'm a trans man, I haven't been able to get a proper binder so I've been layering sports bras and shit like that, and I recently used some ace bandages (which is stupid but whatever). It like hurts to breathe now sometimes and my lung/rib/something in that area is achey and generally makes me feel weak and strangled even if I'm not wearing anything. I think my lung might be collapsed. Idk what to do because I can't go to a doctor without outing myself. idfk anything is appreciated
>had a breakdown in front of my whole family last christmas
>was travelling a lot and experiencing a ton of stuff this year
>christmas is nearing and I'm feeling my feelings from last year return
>barely left my apartment for 2 weeks now
I'm not even fully certain whether it really has anything to do with my gender identitiy or sexuality.
The last time I broke down I spoke a lot with my sisters about my love life and shit.
I was never in a relationship in my life and of course am a virgin.
What do ?
>>5342899
>What's your opinion on using t-blockers while you talk with a gender therapist?
i'm doing that right now without my therapist knowing and i don't know if it is a good idea. i'm afraid what he'll say when he'll find out but i don't want to stop. i don't know if the therapy is helping suddenly or if it's the t-blocker but i feel much better now.
>>5342935
>Idk what to do because I can't go to a doctor without outing myself.
why? just say the area hurts and he gotta check it. you don't have to give him the cause if you don't want to.
>>5342981
I don't know how to explain how it happened without bringing up binding, and since I'm a minor still I'm just paranoid I suppose , I have a really transphobic family
>>5343019
"it started hurting a few days ago after i bumped into a wall/something at P.E. went wrong(got hit with a ball, some idiot ran into you, you fell on your chest)." make something up.
>>5343033
Ah, that's a good idea actually. I think I'll try that, thank you.
![1449340551991[1].webm](https://i.imgur.com/BlXbUvH.jpg "1449340551991[1].webm")
Do all neo-vaginas look this shitty?
Be warned, surgery gore.
>>5342899
>So I let my therapist know that I've been cutting myself since it got really bad the other night. She said she thinks I need to work out my psychological issues before considering HRT.
Aside from making it abundantly clear that the self-harm is directly and exclusively caused by gender dysphoria (which would be treated with hormones), I don't know.
This practice frustrates me deeply, and it's something that a lot of therapist seem to endorse.
>What's your opinion on using t-blockers while you talk with a gender therapist? Like just to surpress male puberty until you work it out
Side-effects are minor when done for short periods of time, and there are clear benefits to it; I would support it after an initial assessment that shows that the patient could reasonably be trans, since it's not reasonably to expect doctors to just immediately give antiandrogens to anyone that asks. The problem with treating gender dysphoria is that all the time you spend finding out whether the patient is trans and making a thorough clinical assessment is time spent letting them get worse permanently.
