How does one find a muscular and straight-acting gay or bisexual?
I have been trying on so many ways but I just couldn't find one. Grindr, Scruff, Tinder or similar apps always suggest some guy who want to have drama, their social activities limited to only to go to gay bars/clubs/caffees/hotels and they identify themselves mostly based on their sexual orientations not other things. I think being gay/bisexual/hetero does not identify someone, what they do, their characteristic behaviours identify someone but most gays just want to spend their whole time in their little gay pink world.
Joining social events (facebook, meetup or similar) also didn't help much.
I just want to find some guy who rarely go to gay bars/clubs/saunas or caffees, who are into watching football, playing video games, travelling and etc. (basically what straight guys do in their free time)
> photo related
You don't, that's the point.
>>5310989
Fuck this gay earth then!
>>5310967
Go to the damn gym. Say hi.
>>5310999
That could actually work but now the problem is I can't now which guy is bi and which guy is not.
Even if I go too far away, gym might cancel my membership if a guy complains.
But very good idea!
>>5310967
they are not hard to find, i'm a ''straight-acting gay'', and I find my ''straight-acting gays'' at Tinder.
>>5311054
I didn't use Tinder for that long.
Do you think I would have a better chance to find straight acting gay at Tinder comparatively to the other social apps?
>>5311008
Again, the point is you don't, and you are right, you can get your membership canceled or get punched out if you go around asking guys in the gym if they are bi or gay.
I also think >>5311054 is pulling your leg, as he's putting straight-acting in quotes. To me, being straight-acting means I don't want to be discovered and I'm not, so...
>>5310967
How old are you? Where are you from? You don't have to be too specific I'm just curious.
I think most of the people here are relatively young, so i don't know if you're going to get much good advice on the topic. A variation of "how do I get a non flamer bf" gets posted like once a week and there never seems to be any really good advice.
>>5311083
24 and Netherlands
I am not specifically looking for a specific age. All I want is to find someone who are not into drama and doesn't spend his lifetime at gay bars/clubs/saunas/cinemas/caffees and hotels.
I just want to date someone normal, that's all I ask.
>>5311008
Yeah rejections happen. You don't autistically go around asking flat out. You look for signs. You feel vibes during conversation. You then mention you're in to guys in some subtle way. Now you're not asking them. You're putting it out there.
>>5311080
I don't agree with you on being straight-acting meaning not wanting to be discovered.
I hope there are gays out there who don't want to spend their time at a gay club or bar, who don't go to gay saunas, dark rooms or play room, who are not into too much drama, who do not fuck every guy he meets, who has a better lifestyle than average gay.
>>5311116
>You look for signs. You feel vibes during conversation
u wot m8
>>5311132
I don't do any of those things, and to me straight-acting means not wanting anyone to know you're gay. I've spent years studying how straight men move, how they place their feet when they sit, where they put their hands, basically any aspect of their body language I've adopted, just so no one can discover from looking at me that I'm gay, then why would I tell anyone I'm gay in the first place. I'm not sure you really want a straight-acting bf.
>>5311116
>>5311136
> tfw plebs don't know how to feel vibes and look for signs.
> mfw checking whether a guy is bi or not
>>5311062
Tinder is the best place, you should try it again. And talk about each others interest when you have a match, after a convo you can conclude if the guy is ''straight acting''
>>5311150
Straight acting = not a drama queen.
End of story.
Why the fuck do everyone have to announce the whole world that they are gay? I can't just enjoy myself without announcing my sexual orientation to whole world? I mean what is the point?
>>5311099
Ik kom zelf uit Leiden haha
>>5311181
that was my point, I'm gay, that's not something the world should care about, but you'll not find any comfort in the gay community with that attitude as they'll label you with internalized homophobia and no right to complain, because announcing your sexuality is the way to get a bf.
and I still say straight-acting is about no one knowing you are gay.
>>5311195
> because announcing your sexuality is the way to get a bf
> because announcing your sexuality is the way to get a bf
> because announcing your sexuality is the way to get a bf
> because announcing your sexuality is the way to get a bf
> because announcing your sexuality is the way to get a bf
not sure if troll or just retarded
>>5311221
... maybe I worded myself weirdly? but have you paid any attention at all, you know why most people hate the phrase "straight acting"?
in the gay community today, if you don't want to announce your sexuality they logically conclude that how are anyone to know you are gay, which equals finding a boyfriend. Did that make it more clear?
>>5311252
when I'm at the gym I'm there to work out, not stand around and look creepily on people.
get your vibes and vocabs and signs someplace else, yeah.
>>5311274
So are you visiting your parents from college or have you not left home yet, kiddoo?
>>5311319
huh?
>>5310967
that man is hot as fuck
OP wants a dude that doesn't act like a chick. He's attracted to men. I'm in the same boat.
I'm homo and consider myself "straight-acting" in that I don't do my hair up fabulously, talk feminine, or bend over backwards to fall into other stereotypes because they're not me. I'm like straight guys, except I prefer to have sex and fall in love with men. It's like preferring Pepsi over Coke. The fact that gay communities shun me for not falling into stereotypes, when they're just that, stereotypes, is appalling to me.
I hate that "straight-acting" is even a term. I don't act straight, and it's not in my blood to wear pink and listen to Mariah Carey just because I like dudes. I'm also not attracted to dudes that are that way.
I gave up. I am a femboy on hrt and it seems muscular gay/bi men only want other muscular masc gay/bi men. And straight guys want girls (ie. you need to pass well). Life is hell.
Idk if this helps but I'm a bi guy that needs to be approached by men as oppossed to me approaching men. It would be a lot easier for me personally for a gay guy to be the initiater. But I feel that I act way to straight for people to think that I would be into men so it really doesn't happen :/
