Good friends with a transwoman and she wants us to be more than friends, I do not. Is there a nice/easy way of saying no?
Just say you're not into her romantically or whatever.
>>5297153
But how can i do that in a nice way? Also i am worried i will be labled transphobic.
Say you aren't interested. If she labels you as transphobic she's an irrational cunt and you stop being friends with her. Simple as that don't be a bitch.
>I think we should stay friends.
No need to mention the trans thing, even to say it's not because of it. If she's normal, it should'nt be a problem.
>>5297136
how would you turn down any other women? that's how you turn her down.
>>5297160
The same way you would anyone else. If she presses the issue with "it's because I'm trans, isn't it?" then you can go ahead and be honest with her because then basically just trying to get hurt emotionally, otherwise don't mention it
>>5297185
Most other women don't have a beard though. Thats the problem. I don't really have a type when it comes to women but beards are just, well, no.
>>5297201
are you OP? most (likely all) trans woman get rid of their beard permanently if they are in the position too do so. at the very least shave it daily and conceal it.
>>5297214
Yes i am OP, and the problem is she doesn't. Apparently, well according to her its a new trend because she believes being trans means not conforming to "patriarchal roles" and she looks like pic related except a bushier beard. Like if she wants to live like that good on her but I just do not find it attractive, or the fact shes got a dick.
>>5297225
Okay that's gross
I'm mtf and I say you fully have the right to turn down someone if you're attracted to women and they have a beard
>>5297225
gotta admit, that's disgusting. nice of you that you still say her to her though. do you know if she's on hormones?
>>5297232
Well its not just that she has a beard its more like...she has a really loud sense of style and i'm more stealth femme. Like I dont want to be rude because there are women who have beards but its quite clear shes trans and she looks like a middle aged hipster guy trying to be down with the kids and again no problem with her style but its just not attractive to me. Afraid she will just call me shallow though.
>>5297236
No she has no intention of medically transitioning, she says she does not have to as only "truscum" would believe that. I am still learning about all this trans stuff desu.
>>5297259
Ok i did not realise certain terms get converted to "desu" lol i know now.
>>5297136
Isn't this being taught in school yet?
"I'm flattered, _FriendNameHere_, but I don't feel that way about you. You're still very important to me, and I don't intend for this to come between us."
Then, she probably wants a bit of space. You give it to her, and get back to the business of being friends, never bringing this up again.
>>5297259
>she says she does not have to as only "truscum" would believe that
why are you friends with this person exactly?
>>5297259
>its quite clear shes trans
>she has no intention of medically transitioning,
no, it's actually more likely she is not trans. for trans people it is no obligation made by the patriarchy to transition, medically and socially, but something they need to do to live a happy life. masculine aspects about their body are for trans women sources of heavy distress.
if she is going to call you transphobic for not being into beards she is crazy and you may be better off not talking to her again.
>>5297273
This is the problem tho, she feels that i should feel that way because i'm lesbian, shes a woman and we are close. She told me to go away and think about it but i know shes expecting a yes. I do like her as a friend but i dont have any romantic feelings towards her at all. She also moans about how picky lesbians are but desu i think its more her sense of style is an aquired taste.
>>5297279
When we are not talking about anything lbgt related its great. we both like the same videogames/films/music and i'm really shy and only have 2 other friends.
>>5297282
I read up about the truscum thing and apparently a lot of transpeople say they are bigots so i guess i was trusting what they say. as i'm not trans i dont really want to speak about something i do not experience myself.
>>5297287
So tell her it's still no, and you're not cool with her continuing to push/whine/condescend. She's got her own preferences, so do you. If she isn't yours, you need to make it clear you won't compromise.
If she still keeps pushing, she's being an entitled bitch. Tell her you'll talk to her again when she gets over that. Being trans, or anything at all else, doesn't mean she isn't wrong for not respecting your boundaries.
>>5297287
>she feels that i should feel that way because i'm lesbian,
If she legit says this then tell her to go fuck herself.
Just because you like girls doesn't mean you want to fuck every girl you know, and you have no 'obligation' to be attracted to someone just because you're friends. For real if she gives you that then you should honestly just cut friendship with her since she's not being a friend she's being a fuckin nice guy who cross dresses.
Worth noting that having a beard and having no plans to ever medically transition do not a fucking woman make.
>>5297282
Also forgot to say have lurked on here and seen arguments about transgender people not getting surgery because of the risks so i thought a large portion of transpeople do not have it done?
>>5297306
Truscum is basically 'a person who thinks you need to suffer from the medical condition known as gender dysphoria to be transgender'.
Tumblrite cancer however think that if you wake up one morning and want to wear jeans instead of a skirt, you're transgender. Also, actually trying to pass as the gender you claim to be is problematic because women can look any way they like! And if a woman wants to look like a middle aged man with a beard and horrible dress sense then she can!!!
Which is true. But if you're trans and do that you sign away all right to get upset if people ask why you're even bothering
Dude. Just be nice and tell her that you aren't interested. She will understand. Do not make the environment tense or awkward. Just tell her how it is and then that's it.
>>5297319
A large portion don't get bottom surgery, you're right. Some because they don't mind having their current genitalia, some because they don't/won't have the resources, some because of perceived/real inadequacy in the procedures, and some because it's pretty major surgery.
>>5297354
Yeah i totally understand that, the problem is she expects other lesbians to just accept her as she is, shes a bit like chris chan in that regard.
>>5297319
hormone therapy and surgery is handled seperately. without hormones your body can't develop in any female pattern, it is going to turn more masculine with every year so it is very essential for trans women. surgery is usually something regarded as a last resort in case the distress over masculine aspects are still great enough to impact the daily life negatively.
all this as an addition to this post >>5297354
>>5297344
Being nice to people is my preference, too, but it's something you need to be ready, able, and willing to withdraw when it's being abused. Entitled people will claim that you're being two-faced, etc..., but so what? You've got way more than two faces. Humans have very multi-faceted personalities and numerous social tools at their disposal. Having one/a set you prefer is not a good reason to deny yourself the rest. Mean you is as much you, and as important to you, as nice you.
>>5297375
Lesbians get a lot of shit for so much, i guess i am over nice to try and avoid it. It does get tiring.
>>5297370
She says she doesnt need hormones as its just another way of capitalism leeching off the oppressed and that people should just respect her identidy as anyone can be a woman because thats all thats required.
>>5297389
she doesn't sound trans, she sounds like some hipster that's pushing some retarded as fuck agenda. have fun with her, she is that SJW boogeyman impersonated.
>>5297369
Sounds to me like your friend is delusional.
Caught up in a trendy nonsense and actually believes it.
I mean if expecting lack of beard on a woman is patriarchal (wat)... well then mother nature is one bigoted scumbag then.
I expect at the VERY LEAST for transgender women to be taking hormones and taking steps towards female secondary sex characteristics.
>>5297389
Let me guess, she doesn't wear women's clothing, either.
She dresses like a man, has the body of a man, the voice of a man, speaks like a man, but walks into the women's bathroom because she's a woman.
Right?
>>5297404
Funny she hates sjw's with a passion.
>>5297405
I think its more she expects society to accept her for who she is, but society doesnt accept a lot of people, not sure why she expects special treatment. Also imo for someone who goes on about patriarchy its really wierd she hates feminists and acts more like the men she complains about.
>>5297389
I get that. It feels almost like a catch 22. The good news is, most of the people who are awful to you because you assert yourself are people who'd be terribly exhausting to be around until/unless they got better anyway.
Good luck, and I'm hoping things with your friend go well.
>>5297415
Almost, she wears sort of hipstery womens clothes which are not as feminine as highstreet womens clothes (pic related). also flowers in her beard. but yeah speaks like a man etc.
>>5297448
>vape
lol I miss high school.
>>5297430
Great advice, and thank you!
>>5297448
Sounds sexy.
>>5297259
the only thing worse than a political lesbian is a political tranny.
Yall niggas posting in a bait thread.
Jus sayin'
If she's not going to put any effort in being a woman, why should you be attracted to her? I guess it would be rude to say that to her, but that's the truth for all people who are attracted to women.
I'd personally find her disgusting and a to be a huge fool. HRT makes one feel a lot better when it comes to the mental stuff, for example, yet she does not wish to be on it, like what the hell.
You can't call yourself a woman and don't bother trying to be one, and also expect other people to be attracted to you as if you're a woman. They're probably just a transtrender OP, as most transgirls would feel repulsed by having a beard, body hair, a masculine body, etc. Do not view this person as a woman.
>>5298073
Ignore my awkward misspellings / structuring, I'm tired.
>>5297136
>>5297136
Just tell her your not interested in her that way, friendzone her. It sucks but sometimes it has to be done. regardless is she is trans or if she were a genetic girl, doesn't matter. If someone turned me down because i'm trans it would hurt but I'd expect it. also I disagree with her about the beard thing, most trans girls get rid of it completely, I always hated shaving,
>>5298035
Underrated post of the century
>>5297136
>"I'm not looking for a relationship right now"
>"You're like a sister to me"
>"I'm gay"
pick one
>>5297136
The same as any other person. "I'm not interested."
Why do you retarded faggots shit up our board with these incessant threads?
