Why won't cis guys date trans guys?
>>5279458
They do though. Practically every trans guy I know personally is bi and currently in a relationship with a cis guy.
>>5279468
So I'm just personally an ugly and unlovable human being?
>>5279493
That's right. Sorry you had to hear it from us.
>>5279493
You sound desperate. Desperation is unattractive no matter how you look or how otherwise cool you are. If you come at someone like "Hey what's up wanna go out tonighDO YOU LIKE ME PLEASE LIKE ME PLEASE DON'T LEAVEEEE MEEEE I KNOW I'M NOT A PERFECT MANNN I'LL DO ANYTHINGGGG" then people aren't gonna wanna deal with that shit. If they feel suffocated and you're barely through the first date, or you don't even have their number yet, it's probably not gonna go well.
Live your life, do fun shit, establish yourself as a person and people will gravitate to you. Those people might include hotties that want you for an emotionally sound relationship among equals with healthy levels self-esteem. You know what I mean?
>>5279538
I've never gotten a first date. I've never gotten a tinder match.
I don't know how to be happy and have fun and do things with a massive void corroding my insides.
>>5279567
>I don't know how to be happy and have fun and do things with a massive void corroding my insides.
Yeah that's the talk that will reel them in.
You're not going to date anyone being a sad fucking sack. No one is going to want to drag a depressed, insecure lump along with them for everything they do. Work on yourself, then work on getting a date.
>>5279636
I'm not going to be a sad fucking sack.
What do you want me to do, then?
>>5279636
Not him, but fucking christ, anon, have some compassion for once. I swear, the moment someone on this site admits they're not happy, immediately some insensitive cunt just has to jump in and say
>GET OVER IT NO ONE'S GONNA LIKE YOU IF YOU'RE ALL DEPRESSING AND SHIT LIKE FUCKING GOD MAN UP YOU FUCKING PUSSY FAGGOT I USED TO BE SAD, BUT I MANNED THE FUCK UP AND MADE MYSELF HAPPY YOU FUCKING WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT FUCK YOU
Is it so hard to just be a nice person for fucking once in your life?
>>5279718
I feel sympathy for your situation, anon. Every time I see a transguy talking about this kind of thing on here, it makes even me angry that the only thing it's met with is a bunch of catty faggots bashing you with insults and telling you to get over it.
You said that you haven't got any matches on Tinder, but is that really the best app to use for dates? I don't use it, myself, but to my understanding it's mainly a hookup app. I'd imagine a dating site would be more geared towards what you're looking for. If you wanna meet someone in person, though, it might be a good idea to go to some kind of LGBT group meeting somewhere, despite what the anons on here will tell you about them. People there tend to be more open-minded on various things.
I'm not going to tell you to stop being depressed, but be gentle on yourself, please. You are worthy of love, no matter how much the odds of finding it seem to be stacked against you. I know it almost seems like being spat in the face to here that "it just takes the effort" when you don't have the motivation, but don't worry, it's not something you have to muster up all at once. Things are more easily accomplished in baby steps. You don't have to suddenly turn over a new leaf and "not be a sad fucking sack anymore." While now you might not be able to push life burdens off of your shoulders, in time you'll learn how, or at the very least be able to more easily carry them. Good luck.
>>5279458
That's not true though, I'm a gay cis guy, I dated a trans guy for a short time.
>>5279780
it's true though. no one wants to be around someone who's constantly depressed and feeling sorry for themselves. chances are the reason he's depressed are extremely insignificant compared to what people in third world countries are dealing with anyway. like it or not, that anon's giving him better advice then you are. even if it's not "nice".
>>5279780
"You're ugly when you cry" is a pretty standard thing.
>>5279823
I've been on OkCupid for a year and I've only talked to one guy, who is significantly older than me and quite clearly doesn't quite consider me an equal. He's got 3 pictures of himself, one of which looks like a 25-year-old guy with a full head of hair, one is a 40-year-old bald guy, and the third one doesn't have anyone who matches either description in it.
The only LGBT community I've found here has been inexplicably 100% female. And not in the No Boys Allowed -sense, it just somehow doesn't include a single male human being in it.
And the only straight guy vaguely interested in me has an unsettling face.
I keep telling myself it'll get better once I graduate and move into a bigger city, but then I remember it's going to be a city that doesn't have a weird art school in it, so there's going to be a gay desert.
>>5279458
vaginas are fucking gross bruh. Wouldn't wanna touch one with a ten foot pole.
When I see a hot guy, I want a dick with that, you understand don't you?
they do... cis guys ask me out often...
>>5279860
So intentionally saying something that will only make him even more depressed is considered good advice? How is that even advice? All he said was to deal with it. What wisdom was OP even supposed to glean from that? Honestly, I'm asking seriously.
>seriously pull the third world country card
Not only can this be said about just about anything, but pain is relative. No one has a fucking patent on feeling sad. Everyone has problems and just because those problems don't include being hungry doesn't mean they aren't valid. Besides, he's fucking trans. Is it not clear enough by this point how miserable trans people are because of their condition? How is that not a valid thing to feel pain over? Do suicide rates honestly mean nothing to you? I'm cis and I can see this shit clear as day.
I know it's cool to be an asshole here, but seriously have some compassion for once. You're human, too. You know damn well misery doesn't have an off switch.
>>5279860
Just because other people have it worse, doesn't mean telling someone "just man up and deal with it" is actually useful advice.
>>5279458
if you pre-T, I'd love to fuck you, straight guy btw
fucked lots of pre-T transboys like yourself. They're usually way thirstier for cock and desperate for cuddles than straight girls.
after T though, I'm out.
>>5279458
Damn faggots why don't they have real AKs. I'm so triggered.
>>5279567
Honestly you need to do something to build confidence. People can smell your insecurity through the internet.
Also pics, are you hideous or something?
>>5279458
Transguys are literally girls. Straight up girls.
No thanks, I'm a gay man, not a straight one
>>5279877
That guy sounds fishy, but who was the one to message first? Did you regularly send messages to others or wait for them to do so?
While I initially suggested the LGBT group idea as a means to find a date, finding friends that accept you is just as important. You might be the only guy there, but considering the type of group it is, befriending the women there might help you find a date through them a la friend of a friend/them setting you up/simply being around more LGBT people causing you to meet even more LGBT people/etc. How else did gays meet back before the internet?
I can't tell you what to do, but maybe don't go for straight guys. I understand the burning desire to find someone, but if he calls himself straight, then I get the feeling he doesn't totally respect your gender identity.
Sure, it might not be Portland, but it's still a city nonetheless. There's more opportunities for just about everything in cities compared to the suburbs.
Why in the fuck would a straight man date another man?
>>5279493
If you are depressed you might want to seek therapy and sort out your own issues first. Also I am assuming you are FtM. If you are looking for "cis" guys why did you transition? Nothing against you for doing that, but you are changing yourself in ways that will keep straight guys from finding you attractive.
Also with out knowing anything about you it would be hard to give you any advice.
The only thing I can offer is, if you are looking for "cis" men don't transition.
I agree with this >>5279950 anon that you need to do something to help you feel better about yourself. I'm not gonna regurgitate that
>you can't love someone unless you love yourself
bullshit and I'm not gonna lie and say love doesn't make you feel better about yourself, but this seems to be a particularly bad problem for you. Have you considered/gone to therapy? If so, how was it? If you haven't and can't afford it, at least you might be able to find some kind of support group that caters to you. Even if you don't have an SO, it doesn't mean you have to go through this alone.
Maybe don't post pics, though, attaching your face to 4chan probably isn't the best idea.
How far are you into transition? How long on T/what surgeries?
>>5279950
Well I kind of look like a mildly deformed Natalie Dormer with a shaved head.
How do you build confidence with no foundations whatsoever?
>>5279971
He messaged me first. My default is to only send messages to people I'm interested in, but reply to people who messaged me first. It might seem superficial but I don't see the point of making a move on someone I'm not attracted to.
I'm fully appreciating how supportive they are, don't get me wrong. The circles are really, really small though, and I'm not sure if any of them have any other friends than the group.
I have an unfortunately specific type, and the only guy in my school that I find attractive already turned me down, so trying to date here is not a problem anymore.
I don't know which Portland you mean but I'm pretty sure at least 3 of them have a larger population than my entire home country.
The city I'll be moving back in is considered reasonably big at bit less than 30 000 people.
>>5279982
Who said anything about STRAIGHT men?
>>5280030
You know I really don't know, self worth is something that no one can give you. It's a tough situation. Personally I find things that I like to do and become as good as I can at it. Nothing builds confidence like being good at something.
Maybe even join a group or something so you have others to experience the activity with. If you are transitioning to male try doing something masculine like shooting or hockey. Not only will you be doing something but something associated heavily with the masculine identity.
>>5279982
because preT transguys are literally just girls no matter how much they tell people to use muh pronouns
>>5280004
I'm transitioning because trying to drown myself in straight cock didn't make me stop wanting to kill myself.
>>5280006
The last time I tried to get into therapy they cloncluded that patiently waiting to get into trans treatments for four years meant that I didn't want it bad enough. I only came back to my senses last spring.
I've been gatekept, toyed with and stuffed back into the closet for almost eight years now. I only managed to make the REAL first step (that was kept from me for four years the last time I tried) last friday.
They said they'll call me, and from the accounts of other trans people I've met and talked to, that can take up to a year.
50% of the time they've got long lines and they're busy. 50% of the time they just actively fucking hate you.
>>5280061
Wanting cock didn't stop you from being male on the inside? Even though you can get a lot more cock as a straight girl?
>>5280061
Honestly, at this point, can't you just lie and give them what they want or self med?
>>5280097
External validation did not make me happy. Therefore, I am willing to give up much of the things that gave me the support and reassurance of others in the pursuit of being true to myself.
English is not my first language but for the life of me I don't understand what the fuck is it that you find so confusing about this matter.
gem phone?
>>5280109
>can't you just lie
Well, that depends on how they'll take the whole "get me into treatments or I will kill myself" -approach.
>self med
You can't do that in my country.
>>5280123
>my country
which one and why not?
>>5280115
Dude, I was being sarcastic, obviously your love of cock can't make you a girl inside.
>>5280121
shit, I got a nickname now?
>>5280134
Finland. We got free health care, and it covers transitioning, but unfortunately that means the gatekeeping is regulated by the government.
Getting your own hormones and shit does not in any way advance or help the process. If I did manage to get myself some sweet black market testosterone, I'd just be stuck with all-female IDs that don't fucking match my face, and nothing I could do about it.
>>5280149
aw no, it's you again?!
desu dude, you look like a girl with a short hair cut. Only way people could mistake you for a boy is if you had a deep masculine voice to counteract with that femmy look of yours.
>>5280149
all you do is complain about how desperate you are for a guy to love you, how much you hate yourself, how no one wants you, how afraid of men you are, how you want cock but you don't want cock, and so on
and you post that one picture of yourself with your phone while complaining
also you look nothing like that actress
and you really are just a black hole of misery
>>5280210
I did say "deformed".
And sorry. I just need some place to whine every few times per wek.
>>5279567
>massive void corroding my insides
you talk like i do. i like you. keep being you, your grey and bleak self is you.
>>5280221
stop being a gross, whiny, pathetic, miserable attention whore and maybe someone will want you
>>5280249
Okay I'm going to admit that that was mildly melodramatic, but then again it's monday and I'm sober.
>>5280261
If I wasn't an attention whore, what would I need a relationship for?
>>5280261
I would cut him some slack, if you ever meet a guy who medically has low T, they can act like that too. Hormones issues can mess with you.
>>5280288
>guy
>no T
naw, that's a girl
>>5280288
i've seen him way too much to cut him slack, some people really are just shitty and alone for a good reason
>>5280288
Just y'all wait when I finally get on T and want to fight, fuck or eat everything in the room and come here to complain how I got turned down by the coffee table.
I dated trans once but it ended horribly because no matter how hard i tried i was too embaressed to tell the truth to my parents who are dick heads. She felt like i was ashamed of her but i wasnt.
>>5279458
I would, but I'm bi not gay so it's less of an issue for me, plus top as fuq with guys.
Gay guys, particularly bottoms are huge fans of the dick and unfortunately that's the one area FtM guys are lacking.
Personally, I just see everyone else as a pleasant penis receptacle and I think that's the type of guy most FtMs would have the most luck with, simply because we're not looking to get fucked by a big ol' penis.
>>5280359
nope, not gonna settle for bi men
gay men only thanks
>>5280359
>pleasant penis receptacle
you have a delightful way with words.
>>5280374
>not OP
I like dick. Shouldn't need a better reason.
>>5280393
a strap-on comes in every imaginable size.
you could even have a mould made out of your tools and have someone fuck you with your own dick.
>>5280400
If I suck it and it tastes like plastic no thanks. I literally don't need a reason not to date or fuck a trans fag.
>>5279458
n-no homo tho
>>5279458
I would
