Hey guys, I need some advice dealing with my boyfriend.
I'm kind of girly. I've never really liked it much, but it's the way I am. Because of this, I've never really gotten along with people. Women aren't really interested in me outside of being an accessory, which is ok because I'm gay. At the same time, men really never wanted to spend much time around me, and gay men have loathed me because they wanted a man, not a man that looks like a young boy/flat girl.
Eventually, I meet a guy, and he's wonderful. At first I'm under the assumption he's straight and just not an asshole. Over time I came to realize I liked him a lot, and began to think he might like me. I had to work this guy for a long time to get him to come around. No kidding. He was so far in denial it'd be sad if he weren't so cute about it. Eventually though I got him to come to terms with it.
We've been dating for a little bit now, and we've gotten kind of sexual, but he won't fuck me. I have to hold his hand and make overt suggestions for every little thing. I understand he's knew to being gay (bisexual at the least), but it's getting kind of silly. I'm a virgin. I've never been able to get a guy to be with me before. Now that I finally have gotten a guy, I want this to be over with. We're both men, we don't need to court each other and be silly about this.
How can I get him to step up and start acting more aggressively when it comes to sexual things? I don't want to come out and just say something blunt, because it might give the wrong impression that I only want to fuck him. I love him dearly. I just also want to get this out of the way.
>>5266231
Bloody hell, just *talk to him*. Tell his what you want/need and be blatantly honest. Or idk, keep hiding what you really want, be stuck in an awkward/unhappy relationship and ask strangers on the internet what you should do. BUT do not expect him to be a mind reader and/or be all you want, people are people and he might just not be aggressive in bed.
>>5266254
I have talked to him, and made overt advances, and so on. He's coming around, just slowly. Any time we get close he says he isn't ready yet.
I don't mind moving at his pace either. I'm just asking for advice on how to speed his pace up.
I'm asking for tips on how to seduce him. As I've said, I'm a virgin. I'm asking for advice and tips on how to make him want me so badly he gets over this hump. My experience in terms of acting sexy and seductive are nearly nonexistent.
>>5266231
You know, this kind of reminds me of a thread the other day... Do you happen to be under 5 foot tall?
>>5266270
I admit I'm short but I don't have a tendency of measuring my height. I'm kind of insecure about it, so I don't really know.
>>5266278
Well, it might be someone else entirely, but it reminded me of this thread the other day (which may be about your boyfriend coming to terms with liking you and finding you attractive): >>5240149
As for 'fucking', are you referring specifically to anal sex? That... Reminds me a bit of my past self.
It may be the case that your partner finds the idea of anal sex to be scary in a way. If they used to consider themselves straight they probably don't know much about prostate stimulation and such (in fact, if that other thread is indeed related to you, then I can defer from your partner's posts that he doesn't know).
Perhaps educating him about it might get him more interested?
>>5266263
>I don't mind moving at his pace either.
Then calm down, let him take his time, if you care about how he feels. If you really, really can't wait suggest something small i.e. oral... with the lights off... but chill, for a virgin you're very impatient. Guys like to be in charge and set the pace, you're probably throwing him off balance.
>>5266317
That thread OP is eerie.
For what I'm talking about specifically, yes, anal sex. I want him to put it inside me. Anything less isn't sex. I don't expect him to let me put it in him, so it shouldn't frighten him much.
>>5266334
No, even then, many straight people are scared of anal, even giving it. He could be worried about various things:
1. Will it feel good for my partner (you)?
2. Isn't it dirty?
3. What if I'm too rough and hurt my partner?
4. Will partaking that sort of thing make me 'impure'? (he might consider anal to be 'immoral' in some way if he never got interested in it)
Keep in mind that he has probably never done that sort of thing yet, and that this will be his first time; maybe he's even a virgin himself too?
>>5266263
>I'm asking for advice and tips on how to make him want me so badly he gets over this hump.
I'm a virgin so take what I say with a pinch of salt, but I at least know a bit about people. Honestly I doubt you'll be able to get him to just man up and fuck you. I'm not sure how far along you are in your relationship, but I'll try anyway. It seems he's insecure about it, I don't know if you're moving too fast for him and I'd advice to consider it, but even then pacing is so individual. If you really think it's the next step then try to slowly loosen him up to the idea. Once again, no idea how the sexual side of your relationship is.
I'd say in terms of getting physical from tamest to roughest, it goes something like kissing -> caressing -> french kiss -> fondling -> masturbation -> oral -> sex, this can vary a lot and I don't have it down to science, but the point is that if he has qualms of you touching him then he won't be onboard with sticking it in you. So take it slowly and I guess just be clear with you intention. If you think that he'll take you as some slut who just does whoever, then, assuming it is not, he's wrong and you should tell him that he has the wrong idea. Of course expressing it by not stressing the sex too much is also a good idea. Just make it about the two of you as a way of getting closer rather than having it like being too poor to buy a dildo and using whatever is nearby.
>>5266231
If you look feminine then try to make it work to your advantage.
>>5266231
Are you sure he's really gay/bi and not just a straight guy who fell for you because of your feminine side?
I used to think I was bi and fell for a feminine guy but even though cuddling, sex felt good, and I really loved his personality, it was feeling kinda wrong and gross at the same time and his body wasn't really turning me on. Still not sure if it's just his man body or his penis too that grossed me out but I ended up concluding I'm into girls only and I'm not even sure anymore if I'd be okay with passing trans girls.
>>5266404
Trust me I have been. I always attempt to dress cute and girly for him. I don't particularly mind either. I used to hate it when I was younger because the whole reason I started dressing that way was because of bullying. If bullies thought I was a chick they'd leave me alone. For him though, it doesn't hurt.
>>5266704
Dude's between a 1-2 on the kinsey scale, leaning more towards 2. I'm his first boyfriend, first guy he's thought of like this. But yes he's definitely into the boy thing at least a little bit. I won't lie and say that how girly I am doesn't help a lot. It makes it easy for his first gay experience because not a whole lot is changing. But based on things that have happened, I'm fairly certain he's head over heels for me.
Damn op, you sound like my type. I would be all over you.
And idk dude, all I can tell you is communication is always gonna be the key. If he's not up for it he's not up for it.
Where do qts like you, who are girly and can't help it, hang out?
>>5266231
He may be a sub like you.
>>5268863
This. And he may be embarrassed about this. You seem to be assuming otherwise because you knew him when he was straight, and you probably think straight men are always dominant. I would just try to have a frank discussion with him about sex. He is probably a lot more curious than you think, but embarrassed about a lot of things.
>>5266270
Hah! I thought the same. The sequel isn't as good so far.
