I have an old friend, that some time ago told be that he wants to change his gender. He is currently undergoing therapy. There is no hormones involved yet nor has he undergone surgery. He is also still legally a male, which is one of the reasons I describe him as he.
When thinking about the future you never know what will happen, but I am worried that for some weird reason that things will be very different. I've tried being supportive, but we've also had some major arguments, as we sometimes both don't understand each others viewpoints.
I need some advice on how to see my friend, as my friend not based on the gender. I simply cannot imagine how strange it will be for me, that at some point his voice will change, his name and I don't understand how his sexuality will work afterwards.
Please excuse me for being a tad old fashioned, I am trying to learn, so that I can accept and open my mind up
TL;DR: As someone "stuck thinking genders are binary", how do I stay friends with my old friend, that is going mtf?
Lol stock up on chocolate and know that the rational, logical part of their brain is going to fade away slowly. And stupid little shit will have some deeper meaningful connection that causes constant whining. Aka becoming female.
If you know that a 180lb linebacker is gonna ruin his life fucking around with hormones be honest. Sometimes some people should just deal with it with pills and booze.
Source. Me. I'm fucking toxic and hormones pushed me that way.
>>5260833
lol why do you care so much about your friend's sexuality
>>5260882
>sexuality = gender
Nice try
>>5260909
OP straight up said he's concerned with how his friend's sexuality will work
>>5260833
>He is also still legally a male, which is one of the reasons I describe him as he.
Pronoun police here, everything seems to be in order. You may continue thread.
Why are you concerned with your friends sexuality
Also whos to say they are not on the gender binary. they just dont want to be a 1 they want to be a 0.
I am glad you are trying to learn just remember you are trying to learn, so you are looking to others for how it works.
With your friend i would start using female pronouns once you figure out where they are going with it and once they start presenting. Legal status can be hard to get changed but once someone starts looking female it doesnt matter whats under the skirt its still polite to use female pronouns as they are probably not going to be waving their dick around.
Its understandable if you feel uncomfortable. it will take some time, just like family cant be expected to understand and be fine right away neither can friends, but so long as you make an effort. Listen to them and their problems. Straight up tell them that you want to be their friend you are not 100% sure how all this stuff works and you would rather know how they feel other than just looking for lots of different opinions and views because its them that matters.
>>5260833
Call her she and use whatever female name she picks out. You don't *have* to really think of her as female if it makes you too uncomfortable (I would suggest trying, though) but pronouns and such are basic courtesy. Remember she's still the same person you knew, she's just being more honest with herself and with others now. Her behavior might change a little but you should still be able to get along fine.
OP here. Now when it is mentioned, I realize that my friends sexuality is none of my business. Of course it isn't any of my business.
Why I didn't think of just taking it one tiny step at a time I don't know. Seems to be the best way to tackle an issue.
Thank you for your answers. It helps
all you can do is respect her identity (use her female name and pronouns) and remember that she's not just a gender. she'll still be the same person, she might express herself differently but there should still be the same sort of commonality between you that kept your friendship alive until now. it seems like a bigger change than it actually ends up being, just try not to over think it.
>>5260833
>Would you stop being friends with someone if you found out they were transgender?
Yes. Also, I did irl. So double yes.
>>5261134
why tho'?
>>5261166
For the same reason I stopped talking to a friend when they became schizophrenic and refused to take their medication; it's not fun or healthy to constantly be around a crazy, self-destructive person living in a delusional world.
>>5260863
>internalized misogyny
come on now, it's 2015
>>5261175
sounds like your friend was more schizophrenic than transgender. I don't think you really knew a transgender person, ever.
>>5261195
I do believe he was more trans 'trender' than 'gender'
maybe one day I will meet a 'trutrans' but I am already soured to the idea
Also the schizo and the tranny were two separate incidents, btw
