I'll start.
>Early 30's cis male
>Naturally curious
>One day I watch gay porn out of curiosity and find that I love it
>Dismiss this as "just a fetish," or "some new 'no homo' thing that the young kids are into these days."
>Realize I have been repressing this my entire life
>Accept that I am bisexual (Kinsey 2)
>Years of shame and self-loathing flood out all at once
>Almost too much to bear
>Contemplate suicide
>Decide that coming out will help me feel less shame
>Come out to best friends and they make me feel much better
>Come out to mom. Feel unconditional love.
>Mom tells Dad for me... to give him time to cool down and compose his thoughts
>Dad is progressive but was brainwashed by hardcore baptism as a kid
>Two weeks later
>First discussion with my dad on the topic (CONT'D)
>>5259545
(cont'd from OP)
>Literally the first words out of my dad's mouth are, "Son, I just don't understand. You say that you are attracted to men both romantically and sexually... but that you are still more attracted to women. Why can't you just stick with the right team? You already have a girlfriend. Are you just going to dump her and have a bunch of sex with men? Am I going to lose my son to AIDS?"
>"No dad. God no. It's not like that. Look, I know that this is hard for you. It is hard for ALL of us... and that is just a universal truth."
>"This isn't hard on me! Don't you say that! Don't you DARE fucking say that, Mr. Smartypants."
>Meanwhile my dad tries to convince me that he knows more about what is going on in my head than I do
>Even so I remain calm
>I explain that I feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable discussing specific aspects of same-sex attraction
>He won't relent, though. He wants to know what sex acts I want to do.
>"Just tell me son. Stop beating around the bush. Do you have sex with men?" (He is obviously disgusted and getting angrier by the moment). How is THAT even fun? It seems like you are just hurting and degrading yourself. And you would do that just because you appreciate how a guy looks? What the hell is wrong with my son? How the hell could you EVER swallow a man's semen?"
>"Dad, holy crap. Really? Okay, well if you really want to know... I am not sure how comfortable I am with ALL of the sex acts that you may be familiar with, but certainly SOME are off limits. I am kind of picky."
>"Well if you are picky then maybe this is something that is just normal. I mean, even I can appreciate when a man is attractive."
>"This isn't like that, dad. I can be romantically attracted to men... for many of the same reasons I can be romantically attracted to women... and while I prefer women aesthetically, there are certain types of men that I would ENJOY having sex with."
brb making popcorn
>stressing out over coming out as slightly bisexual
lmao
>>5259563
(cont'd)
>"Goddamnit, son. You say that... and you try to put this "bisexual" label on yourself, and you just need to stop it. You are normal. You aren't bisexual."
>"Dad, I am precisely bisexual. I lean to the straight side, but I fall squarely within the bi part of the spectrum. I have accepted this and it has made me much happier. Everyone else just needs to accept this."
>"Son, I really just think... that when you get obsessing over an idea... you are so smart that you can convince yourself of a WHOLE LOT of things. Like that you are bisexual, which is a stupid word."
>"Dad, I am bisexual. Please just deal with it. Use the word in your head and to me. It will make this all easier. Please."
>"Son, I just can't do that because I won't say something unless I think it is true."
Anyway, as you can tell it all went really fucking horrible. I had a whole monologue with a GREAT explanation (I thought)... and all my dad needed to do was shut the fuck up. But instead he has a pathological need to INSTRUCT me. Even on things he knows NOTHING about.
Surely someone has a worse story, though. I want to hear one of those so I will feel better about myself.
>in your 30's
>dad still chiding you like a little kid
FUCK
PARENTS
as long as your parents are alive you are a child
Literally what is the point of coming out as bi unless you have a boyfriend?
>>5259623
What's the point of coming out as gay unless you have a boyfriend?
>>5259575
>slightly bisexual
The following activities/behaviors are not those of someone who is "slightly" bisexual:
>Fully 40% of my porn is gay porn... with a lot of variety (anal, blowjobs, orgies, etc.)
>Maybe another 40% is normal PIV straight porn
>The other 20% is MMF bisexual porn
No, I am really quite bisexual. I am already making plans to move to the "gayest" part of the city so that I can live freely as a "partly gay" man.
By the way, my dad took HUGE issue with me calling myself "part gay."
>"Don't you EVER say that? EVER! (Remember I am 33). Are you gay? Huh? Are you gay, Anon?"
>"No, I am only part gay."
>"Well don't EVER use that word! (Implying it is a bad thing). You are slightly less than fully heterosexual at the most. I don't know why you are taking this so hard."
>"Dad, I'm moving to the gayest part of DC - where over half the people in the neighborhood are gay - because I want to experience having a boyfriend. I will never be happy in life unless I at least know this feeling..."
>"Oh son, you don't need to know that feeling. What you need is a wife and kids. Once you have a kid, they will be EVERYTHING to you. This whole "attraction" to guys thing won't even matter anymore. You're making this a much bigger deal than it really is."
>"Dad, it is a big deal. I want a boyfriend. You seem to be in denial about most of this. That's fine. It will take time."
After that my dad literally stopped on the side of the road, demanded that I "get out and walk the rest of the way home if you are going to be THAT disrespectful to me."
No no. This isn't slight at all. It has ruled my life for over 3 decades. I can't believe that "shame" aspect of being LGBT isn't discussed more often.
i can't believe you're 30 and your dad called you smartypants
my parents called me that when i was like 5
do you have like a diaper fetish too?
>>5259643
Cut the guy some slack, jesus
>>5259628
None imo cause I'm a homo and didn't come out till I was in a relationship. Otherwise what business is it of theirs?
Like people asking if you're gay for no reason, it's stupid. Unless you wanna fuck why do you care about my orientation?
>>5259663
oh what?
this is not nearly the worst story in the past couple of weeks
what about that guy who's boyfriend passed away? what about that mtf girl who got out of her abuse family?
im getting scolded for being slightly insensitive on 4chan of all places ffs
jesus christ this would seem like a childish exchange if you were supposed to be 16, let alone fucking 30
You should have just told him to sit and spin for taking that kind of attitude with you when you're a grown goddamned man.
Your dad has a point, playing in others guys buttholes will do no good for your life, I mean you're a fucking adult, shouldn't you have better things to do than worship pole?
>>5259723
or
>"hey mom, can you stop trying to find girls to hook me up with?...i'll ignore your advice anyways, as any child should"
You don't need to out yourself over every time someone tries to hook you up. Just say "no" and let that be reason enough.
Does that parents hooking you up thing actually happen so often though? I always hear about it and wonder if I just miss it as a cultural thing. Cause I'm hispanic and my parents never would even think of doing that shit. Most they do is just shit on who my brothers and I are dating. Otherwise they don't see it as their place and frankly don't give as strong a fuck about casual dating unless we're talking marriage. My mom put it like "I only care about family, if you're not gonna marry them into the family I don't give a fuck to know them"
>>5259723
After a certain point my parents noticed I had literally zero interest in girls and stopped asking me about it. They probably thought I was gay but wanted to keep a don't ask, don't tell policy
>>5259787
see >>5259795
my parents assumed i was gay, which made them freak out and try to hook me up with girls to straighten me out. they even paid one girl, and that's when i yelled at them.
helicopter parents are shit, be glad you got ones that give you space. it's tough when you're still young enough for them to have legal authority to fuck you up forever. recently found out they were planning to send me to one of those gay-away camps that are known for corrective rape and kids dying all the time.
>>5259825
>recently found out they were planning to send me to one of those gay-away camps that are known for corrective rape and kids dying all the time.
I hope this shit gets illegalized sometime soon
>>5259835
people barely even know it exists, much less how unbelievably legal it is.
for anyone wondering, yes, if you are under 18, parents can fully sign away the rights to your care to these camps, who can legally detain you, and often bring you to places deep in the woods where you couldn't escape if you tried.
>>5259866
Not even just that, any sort of forced pray the gay away therapy. It does NOTHING but harm.
>>5259640
Wait, are you the OP? So you are just gonna dump your GF because you wanna have sex with men?
>>5259866
technically these camps are held to standards of care, so actual rape, starvation, etc, are illegal.
But the camps don't say they are doing any of that. They say it's 'therapy' or other euphamisms. And some are basically basically just summer school where ever class is a variation on 'being gay is bad'. But others aren't.
So the issue is they're abusing the 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. The fact that it's so ripe for abuse, and the danger if it is, means it will hopefully get up into the categories of thing that might be used legally, but you have to prove you aren't going to do anything illegal first.
No one in the Army knew I was a lesbian for my first six years. Then I get accidentally outed a month before DADT gets repealed. All because I forgot lock the hallway door of my private NCO barracks room one morning on a long weekend.
My male platoon sgt just walked in through that unlocked door. Because even though it was a day off. He came to get me because one of our soldiers got busted for DUI the previous night and needed paper work done on him. My self and the bi-slut I picked up off base, we were on my couch in just panties. Cuddling until the hang over from last night wore off.
Next day everyone in the company knew through that jack ass.
>>5259708
I agree. I lost quite a bit of affection for my dad after this... to be quite honest. He would be hurt to hear that but: 1) he treated me like a child, 2) he didn't respect me at all, 3) he actively traumatized me with his responses.
I wish I could cut him some slack but... fuck.
>>5260596
I agree with the general points you're making, but I can see why he treats you like a child. Like, I know you mentioned early thirties but you come off like a teenager from this thread. I think you'll be happier in life if you can manage to be more assertive when dealing with others.
>>5259589
You might not appreciate this comment but even from your side of the story it is clear your Dad loves you. He might not agree but if you can keep the relationship with him going then that is good at least.
>>5259589
Instructing you even when they're out of their depth is what parents do. Even for 30 year olds. It isn't personal to you, most people get that.
Hell, why do you think Everybody Loves Raymond was so popular?
>>5259589
>Son, I really just think... that when you get obsessing over an idea... you are so smart that you can convince yourself of a WHOLE LOT of things. Like that you are bisexual, which is a stupid word
My dad gave me that exact same line when I came out as trans. He got over it fast and became incredibly supportive.
>>5260792
Same, except they never became supportive and I moved out and now I never speak to them.
so much qq in this thread
>>5260852
This might be my future ...
>tfw your dad will be dead from Parkinson's long before you ever find a bf and you'll never have to come out to him
>thrown out of the house at 17 after coming out to parents
>live on the street for three years, addicted to heroin
>get clean, get a college degree
>get good job, car, p[lace to live
>live a clean, healthy lifestyle
>spend 25 years trying to reconcile with parents
>they only see me as a tatted drugged out lesbian.
>>5259589
>biscum
LMAO who cares
>>5260792
My mom did the same thing, took a while to win her over though
>>5259743
OP here.
This is honestly the best advice I have gotten in this thread so far. You are right, I need to be less of a cock-worshipping faggot.
(Actually it's weird... I get really turned on by the idea of anal sex with men... but not so much sucking cock. I will eventually get there).
>>5260770
I do need to be more assertive on this... because one IS more likely to act deferentially (like a child) in the early stages.
In all other arenas, I am a confident and forceful adult.
>>5259545
Coming out as bi is pointless. I congregate mostly with bi and gay people. I don't have many straight friends, and I've never been close to my family anyway. The ones who know don't care, and the one who care don't know.
>>5259969
Was your cuddle buddy in the army as well?
>>5259969
Even the speed of light has nothing on how fast juicy gossip travels.
>>5261500
I was trolling a bit to be honest lol. I mean if you're capable of being in love with men and see a bf in your future then by all means, come out, but don't give your dad a heart attack just so you can be a buttslut.
>>5259575
You degenerate bastard I hate faggots like you why don't you suicide like all your queer friends because probably you'll end up being some kind of cheap prostitute. Just die already.
>>5261116
*hugs*
>heroin
I had my battle with it. Clean for 35 years.
>>5259866
Not in CA
>>5264964
stay strong bro/sis.
