Breakfast edition
>Links
• Informed Consent Providers:
https://itmb.co/r1uo5 (PDF)
• Makeup Tutorial: http://imgur.com/a/JO33K/
• MTF Info Dump: http://pastebin.com/36HC6ZmT
• Size charts: http://www.americanapparel.net/sizi http://www.nationalworkwear.com/siz
• Transition timelines: http://imgur.com/a/qWpxv
• Voice Training: http://pastebin.com/dgipdsge
• Articles, Studies and General information about Questioning, Transitioning and other stuff: http://pastebin.com/CyW1dXV8
• Useful links about/for transgender people: http://pastebin.com/h1vLPxyV
• Transgender FAQ: http://pastebin.com/8QbKyShU
• Am I trans/trans help threads archive: http://pastebin.com/CPzj0xv9
• Basic Trans Information: http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/TS.html
• Hormones, and so much more: http://www.transgendercare.com/
• For your doctor: http://transhealth.ucsf.edu/
>Where we are:
#transbians on Rizon
TC /translez
>/tlg/ F.A.Q.
1. What is a transbian/trans-lesbian? → MTF transsexuals who are also lesbians
2. Isn't that just a straight guy? → No, orientation is who you go to bed with, but gender identity is who you go to bed as.
3. Are bi trans girls, welcome here? → Yes but please the keep boy drama in MTF General please!
4. Are cis lesbians/bisexuals welcome? → Yes.
5. Do trans-lesbians use their penis when they are pre-op? → Some do, some don't.
stale thread:
>>5251685
old thread:
>>5251629
>tfw gf is making pancakes and banana shakes for breakfast
aww yus
>>5251681
idk never had this
saw the new thread so I'll post it again here:
>>5250911
sorry im late, same cis les here, i'm not sure if I'd stick around unless her personality is amazing, but I guess it's the (almost) the same as waiting for a gf to finish up grad school. Idk, I'd assume post op surgery is a huge change and not sure how that would effect a transgirl mentally. I'd prefer a transgirl who has finished transitioning because she's more likely to be stable and secure?? Not sure if that's generally true but I assume it is.
But yeah, if a transgirl is really cute, nice, passing, and sparks were flying, yeah I could wait 2 years. We could just cuddle a lot or if she's kinky, I guess I could be dom and just fuk da butt.
>>5251020
sorry, i didn't know tgirl was a slur. I've seen other trans people use it to refer to themselves. I thought the main slur was "tranny". I won't use the word again, sorry!
tfw never gf
>>5251747
Oh it was just an example, but it gives me peace of mind that there are cis lesbians like you.
Going through surgery for me wouldn't affect me mentally, nor would it for most transgirls, it would however mean a lot for them and me when it comes to dealing with dysphoria and such, having this tumor between my legs is quite distressing, but most transgirls would be equally womanly to before and after surgery, except that would not have go through the stress of having the stuff down there. Provided they're the type that experiences genital dysphoria.
But how long a transgirl has been on hormones matters more, as sexuality & preferences often changes, but generally once a transgirl is fulltime or stealth they're quite stable.
I'm passing, fulltime, kind of cute and all that, but when it comes to kinky stuff I do not enjoy vanilla sex, pegging, etc, though I'd definitely lick my partner out as much as she wanted. What I like is like 24/7 Pet play, BDSM, whipping, flogging, impact play, caging, etc so..The kind of stuff I like means my genitals do not really matter though I want SRS ASAP to be comfortable. I don't know why I'm saying this.
>>5251685
I'm really bad about eating breakfast to be honest, it's usually just coffee and my pills before I crawl back into bed after seeing my son off to school. I did breakfast smoothies for awhile but that can get really expensive fast.
>>5251706
Oh that sounds delightful. I like Banana strawberry smoothies, or Pineapple Mango. Yum~
>>5251813
Give it time anon, you never know what will happen. Perhaps you'll find someone special
>>5251747
>I'd assume post op surgery is a huge change and not sure how that would effect a transgirl mentally.
>>5251817
>Going through surgery for me wouldn't affect me mentally, nor would it for most transgirls
Actually it very well might. But very doubtfully in a bad way. I would assume there would be a fair bit more confidence, especially when it comes to how they dress and how they feel others perceive them. Though that's just my personal views.
I will agree that the time on hormones very likely matters more for mental changes though. Anytime after the two year mark is probably a good spot to consider, though of course even without hormones involved they may still grow and change as a person.
>>5251817
>I don't know why I'm saying this.
Because sometimes its nice to ramble and expose parts of yourself to others, and 4chan with its anonymous system is a great way to do that.
>>5252242
>Actually it very well might. But very doubtfully in a bad way. I would assume there would be a fair bit more confidence, especially when it comes to how they dress and how they feel others perceive them. Though that's just my personal views.
>I will agree that the time on hormones very likely matters more for mental changes though. Anytime after the two year mark is probably a good spot to consider, though of course even without hormones involved they may still grow and change as a person.
You are right, but what I meant is that a transgirl who's fulltime girl and been on HRT for a year plus will most likely stay the person she is, though SRS matters a lot, naturally, and goes a long way to boosting confidence.
>Because sometimes its nice to ramble and expose parts of yourself to others, and 4chan with its anonymous system is a great way to do that.
It does feel nice yes. Sadly every girl I know who likes this kind of stuff + likes girls are taken. ;__;
I'm feeling so lonely right now, I just found out my dad is working his crappy job on both Thanksgiving and Christmas and he's the only living family I have. So unless something dramatic changes, I'll be spending both holidays on my own.
I don't even want sex at this point, I just want a cute girl to cuddle with and spend time with.
>>5252400
I'm sorry anon, sadly sometimes finances are bad enough to make people do such things. Have you told him how this makes you feel? I'm unsure of your age but if you have any close friends, you might want to see about christmas parties or joining others for thanksgiving. I have a relatively small family myself and we usually have a few friends (mine and/or my grandmothers most commonly) joining us and don't think it's that uncommon.
>tfw no qt early transition trans gf
>ywn be her support as she figures herself out
>ywn make her over and share clothes with her
>ywn hold her hand in public and hold her close at night
just kill me
another cis dyke here,
just my 2cents but I'm weary of dating transgirls, because estro is still effecting them and may change their orientation. I'd hate to be in a relationship with transbian and for her to slowly change into a straight transgirl and leave me.
Even after two years like
>>5252242 said, it's still a risk.
>>5253433
I don't really think it's limited to trans girls though. How many lesbians have dated cis girls that turned out to be bi or straight in the end?
>>5253450
i know. Same thing at play here.
but transgirls are a bit different since T (which is what made them straight) is being replaced with estro (which is a sexual orientation roulette).
At least with cis girls, there are obvious red flags, even if they're hiding the fact that they're bi.
>>5253450
different cis grill, that's true for confused college girls who are dealing with their sexual identity and society. but their actual sexual preference never changes, they're only figuring it out. whereas trans girls can physically have their preferences altered by hormones - so the risk is significant.
>>5253411
>thisisnotarealpost.txt
>>5253471
Does anyone have a sauce on that? I know its a thing that happens, but I'd love to see a proper study or even just something more than anecdotal evidence.
>>5253497
all I got is anecdotal evidence and posters on /lgbt/ who admitted it happened. A while ago, there was a "Used to be a transbian but now I just can't resist cocks!" thread. A lot of replies, that one.
Not to mention two of the transbian game developers I'm following, Christine Love and Merrit Kopas used to be transbians but changed their orientation from lesbian to queer, and lets be honest, queer = bi. Kopas is boning gay guys right now actually.
>>5253517
Aw, it's just a have a friend I've debated this with. He's pretty convinced it's not the hormones' fault and that they don't change sexual orientation. His theory is basically since HRT represents the true start of transition for most trans people, it's a major life change and the first time they can really be honest with themselves. And that people are just conflating the two. You know, classic correlation doesn't equal causation stuff.
It doesn't help that he's FtM, and didn't have any changes himself after being on T for a bit and that's another thing he questions, why if it's truly 100% a physical thing, it doesn't seem to happen to some people at all.
>>5253563
i've been on hrt for ~1.5 years, and i'm pretty sure both are true for me. i was always interested in guys, tho heavily in the closet about it, but it wasn't until after hrt that i REALLY started noticing things like smell, and size and little details.
it's actually kinda overwhelming at this point. e.e
>>5253563
>It doesn't help that he's FtM, and didn't have any changes himself after being on T for a bit and that's another thing he questions, why if it's truly 100% a physical thing, it doesn't seem to happen to some people at all.
Because everyone's different and people will react differently. Your friend's theory can also be correct, but I doubt it's the ONLY reason for transfolks changing. I'm sure hormones definitely play a part as well as transpeople themselves trying to figure themselves out and connecting their past and present lives with their brain chemistry being altered by drugs.
>>5253517
Kopas is a interesting case. Kopas was a gay guy before, then she transitioned and was a straight-ish transwoman. Dated a few guys and hated the gender role/power dynamic so she started to only date women. Labeled herself as a lesbian. Now recently she's reluctantly pulling back that identity as she's realizing she's attracted to men once again.
>>5253608
Yeah, I think it's realistically a bit of both. As in, the hormones might shove you in a different direction, but you can't underestimate the effects of social changes either.
>>5253411
You could certainly help girls early on in transition and perhaps find love doing so, but make sure to help them for the right reason and not due to hoping for love.
>>5252263
Give it time is all I can suggest, sometimes we just need to go through periods of self-growth before ready for love.
>>5253433
I'm likely the odd-girl out but I refused to date for the year leading up to my transition and the first two years. I didn't want a lover who would remember me as anything but a woman since I was single going into transition. It seemed a well-thought out idea.
... though now I'm finding it weird getting back into dating. I was lucky with HRT, though my tastes did change (... expanded). I mainly got nicer and suddenly had a hot spot for tall muscular butches. Which is pretty okay with me since I still like femme's, so expanded tastes help my already limited dating pool.
... I also have standards now. So that's a really good, albeit new thing. Huh!
>>5253468
>>5253450
Possibly, I can't say I've dated enough to notice red flags about such things
>>5253497
>>5253517
>>5253471
>>5253563
>>5253592
A lot of it IS actually overcoming your own major issues and being more open minded. Exploring and finding what you like. I definitely had a lot more curiosity about guys into HRT, which crashed and burned horribly upon actually trying something with a guy. For a lot of people its simply feeling that they have enough problems as is, so why rock the boat more?
My views anyway
>>5253608
>>5253592
Smell might be a very important factor, especially with hormones involved. It's a good question actually.
So, i'm sure you gals get posts like this all the time, but today is day 1 of HRT for me! Because it varies from person to person, what effects did you see first and about when did you start to see them?
Just curious.
>>5253877
My sex drive plummeted literally overnight, but then I was horrible before. Like needing to masturbate at least 6-8x a day just to stay productive at all.
>>5253877
Oh my heavens congratulations Violet! Hmmm, I'd say more then anything the first thing I -really- noticed was my scent changing about half a year in (I gained a lot of weight on hrt so was hard to tell what was growth/fat redistribution and what was weight gain). I woke up wondering why I smelled like an ex of mine had spent the night and oh wow wait that's me.
That and >>5253892 as Anon said a tanked sex drive, but I was pretty happy with that.
I have had a really fun couple of days. I've been off helping a friend's mom do a bunch of baby sitting and cleaning, and in exchange she has been helping me out with shopping and some other stuff. The 2 year old girl she watches is just so adorable, and just loves to play with my hair and cuddle and watch movies.
I ended up bringing like 2 giant pillows, 3 giant towels, and half a pantry's worth of food home today from her place today. I also secured a ride for an event to the night club night I am gonna have on the 28th with my friend, because I couldn't go to it last month. I am totally gonna be having such a fun time.
>>5253877
Congrats.
I noticed nothing for the first few weeks but eventually sex drive died, tits started to grow, and certain smells made me want to puke.
That was all month 1.
After that, my face started to look less puffy? I guess... everyone thinks I'm starving myself now even though I've only lost 15 pounds in the last 5 months. Not even on the low end of the BMI chart.
Anyways, I'm nearly 5 months in and I've become noticeably more feminine in appearance though not so much to convince everyone that I'm female. I also have no acne, my hair smells nicer, and I have no body odor anymore. Facial hair doesn't grow as fast and is lighter in color. My thighs are getting bigger as well.
In other news, I had a suspicion a couple months ago that people couldn't determine if I was male or female unless I don't shave for a week. I've been testing that theory lately and I've had overwhelmingly positive results that if I speak quietly, so as to not give away sex through voice, and shave frequently, people have ceased to say either 'ma'am' or 'sir'. They just kinda stop after 'Hello..."
Also, GETTING DAT AR-15 DONE! Just need a router and I'll be finished with a new receiver. Fuck polymer, that shit is terrible. 7075-T6 all the way! It cuts like butter.
Anyone with a drill press from harbor freight, set the spindle speed WAY low, like 300, or else the belts slip and the drill will just get stuck. Torque over speed on that one; it'll cut faster that way.
>>5252400
*HUGS* I ended up spending a couple thanksgivings and Christmases alone. It sucks.
Schedule the family celebration of each holiday a day or two earlier or later. As for yourself on those days, hit the sales, or spend them with friends. Maybe go see a movie or two to distract you.
When I used to live far from my relatives, me and some friends did what we called Orphan Thanksgiving and Orphan Christmas. We invited over for a big potluck feast all those we knew who didn't have family to go home to, or were to far away from family. I usually sprung for the turkeys and hams that were cooked up, then came with my own special sweet potatoes.
>>5253877
Lost sex drive at 2-3 ish months, got it back but different at between my 4th and 5th. Since I got it back I've been acting on my BDSM fantasies and have met nice people. Having a male libido was suffering. I did not get the cocklust/lewd disease, still like girls.
My body hair is softer all over, and has turned blonde in some places at 5 months + a few days now. Also grows a lot slower so shaving my legs isn't expensive anymore.
My skin is all softer in general, started getting softer since day 1. Right now it's super soft and nice.
My face has become less manly & skin in general has a different girlier glow & complexity to it now. My face is so soft I love touching it.
My thighs are plumper and so is my butt. Butt looks girlier too.
I'm a A cup and a half, I first had titties starting growing at like 2 month mark.
I went down like 8 kilos due to weight loss, but also muscle mass loss.
My facial hair has gotten a bit lighter, but I still need makeup to hide it, but it's easier now to cover it up, and I can still pass as a girl after a day of not shaving, but ideally I still want to shave every morning.
I also pass with makeup + cute clothes now.
I started the day after I turned 20 by the way. I'm moving to injections for my E soon, I cannot wait.
>tfw research says men and women see red differently. Men just see red, and women see all the various maroons, crimsons, cardinals, etc. differently.
>tfw I always saw the differences in reds.
Want to make a good first impression and attract friends, wear bright colors.
>>5253468
>>5253471
I'd say it is more likely the transwomen finally figure out their true sexual orientation. Youthful enthusiasm can make up for a lot of natural sexual attraction, but only for so long. Eventually the enthusiasm wanes, and they realize who they really are attracted to.
>>5253497
I've known a few gals who initially were straight and ended up lesbian, and a couple that came out lesbian and eventually ended up bisexual or straight. I've also had a few people relate their own experiences of trying to be straighm, then figuring out they were gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Then there were the dozens upon dozens who I took calls from on the bisexual help line I worked at.
This >>5253563
Many psychologists also feel the same. The person finally feels free to explore their sexual desires.
>>5253608
>brain chemistry being altered by drugs.
There may be some enhancement from this, but I'd bet base orientation doesn't change. It just gets realized. The brain changes activate circuits that were dormant due to not being bathed in the right hormones.
On smell. In the past when pre hrt, I always thought a few guys looked really good, but never could feel good about going out with them. Now when I see a guy I think may be really good, I get a solid yes with overdriven desire or shutdown of my feelings once I spell them. I also get the same with women.
>>5251747
>sorry, i didn't know tgirl was a slur
It's ok. Heterosexual crossdressers hitting on women use the term a lot.
i left everyone for the girl that i love. i have nothing left... and every single time we have a fight i contemplate suicide, because i -know- that if she leaves me, i'll be left with nothing worth living for.
i did it willingly. everyone that cared about me has gone, and all that i have left is her. i love her, and she means everything to me... but things are wearing thin, and i don't know how much longer i can hold on.
i want to die.
>tfw i want my friends back
>tfw i love my girlfriend
>tfw i cant have both
sorry for the sad post...
>>5255027
Why exactly can't you have both?
>>5255049
because she hates the only people i've been able to call friends in the last few years of my life. the people that helped me through my transition, and were there to pick me up when i was down. the people who were keeping me sane.
>>5255027
>>5255089
You can have friends outside of your love life. She doesn't need you every minute of every day. On top of that... Forcing someone to lose touch with friends and family, feel alone and dependent is a sign of abuse.
The fact is if she loves you, she'll respect you needing your own life. Just don't bring friends around her. Compromise, that's the key to a good relationship. Good friends are very hard to find and the love of friends can do amazing things. Just my view anyway, I learned this lesson the hard way. Unless she has a very good reason for wanting them out of your life i.e. Known to steal from friends, psychotic, etc
>>5255118
Whoops messed up trip
>>5255058
I don't use pick up lines. I let my body do the talking and have pick up lines used on me.
>>5255089
Has she given any reason for hating your friend?
Separating one from ones friends and family is a common way that abusers get control over their targets.
this >>5255118
>Forcing someone to lose touch with friends and family, feel alone and dependent is a sign of abuse.
>>5255122
I was that way in the past. Now I suspect I'll have to be more active.
>>5255118
>>5255127
>psychotic
that's exactly what she said.
she told me they were all toxic, and i would be better without them. that one of them hurt her, but wont really tell me how. if i didn't believe her i feel like id be abandoning her... and not having her back when she needed me.
so i left them for her. i told them that they were horrible... and that we couldnt be friends, because of "what they did"
i made the decision.
it was her or them, and i chose her.
i needed someone to love me so desperately... that i left everyone that cared about me... again.
>>5255146
You can be there for her and still keep your friends. The fact is they where there for you before and -sound- like good friends. If her only reason is they're toxic without good reasons why... I wouldn't consider that a good reason . And for the one friend who did something specific if you trust them I'd ask their view. A relationship can sadly end no matter what how much you put into it. The fear of that should not make you lose everyone else who cares about you... Especially because if it ever does happen, you'll need A support system to help you stand back up.
>>5255122
Are you a hon? How women know you're a shemale and not just a regular woman. Do you try to ''trap'' them?
>>5255962
Are you a troll? How do people know you're a troll and not just a regular person. Do you try to "bait" them?
>>5255058
I do online dating. I don't really pick people up so I'm not very good at helping here. I'd just suggest you make yourself approachable and if someone catches your eye message them. I have a habit of trying to engage people based on their profile, especially on mutual hobbies.
>>5254793
>Also, GETTING DAT AR-15 DONE! Just need a router and I'll be finished with a new receiver. Fuck polymer, that shit is terrible. 7075-T6 all the way! It cuts like butter.
>Anyone with a drill press from harbor freight, set the spindle speed WAY low, like 300, or else the belts slip and the drill will just get stuck. Torque over speed on that one; it'll cut faster that way.
I.... do not understand this. But it sounds like something you're super hyped over so I'm very happy for you. I hope it goes well for you.
and I'm glad that while not passable, you've at least hit that androgynous point
>>5256013
I am super hyped. I'm going to finished building that shit today... probably.
Androgyny is the bomb. It's like you have complete control over how someone perceives you. And you can do anything you want with it!
Does anyone else feel this way?
Like, one day, going to taco bell and act like a girl. Then the next day, going to taco bell and acting like a guy when the same person is at the register.
I did that a while ago with this new dude, because I frequent this one taco bell with my friends, and he got SO confused cause he recognized me and everyone behind the counter was laughing.
I don't even care that taco bell knows my secrets, those people are nice.
>>5256198
Being comfortable with yourself is one of the keys for acceptance by others. Humor also helps.
>>5253411
Where have you been my life?
I'm really excited, my doctor is very probably going to let me be prescribed hormones and maybe even injections for E tomorrow, I can't wait! In our last session she asked me to get reference material by doctors for what estrogen products to use and what anti androgens to use, which I did just gather together and print out.
Normally she can't, it's not her specialty and our government has made it so there is only 1 underfunded transhealthcare center in Norway, so I don't have to quit my self medding as I'm running out as new import laws screwed me over, I'm already fulltime and stopping now would literally ruin my life as I'd have to wait 2+ years to get anywhere with the official route, however I'm still pursuing this route, it's just too slow.
>>5257020
Good luck!!!
>>5257375
I'm just really excited because estrogen pills at just 4mg a day has had satisfying effect on me in just 5 months, so I'm super excited what injections will do long term. I'm passing and fulltime right now, but knowing I'll turn even cuter from looking at timelines makes me so happy oh gosh. I started out as quite manly though kinda andro so this is great.
tfw mai waifu looks like a husbando...
she`s so qt, but i just dont get her butchness :P
http://www.transequality.org/documents/state/maryland
>Effective October 1, 2015, the Maryland Department of Health and Mental Hygiene will update the gender marker on a certificate of birth upon receipt of certification from a licensed healthcare provider that the applicant has undergone surgical, hormonal, or other treatment appropriate for the purpose of sex transition. A new certificate of birth will be issued and will not be marked as amended. Code Ann., Health-Gen. § 4-211.
Yes!!!! Yes!!!! Yes!!!! Yes!!!! Yes!!!! Yes!!!!
>>5258216
awesome!
>>5256198
Sounds amazing, a passionate hobby is a wonderful thing.
>Does anyone else feel this way?
Personally no. The thought of acting/being thought of as a guy makes me want to cry a little bit. Its a nice stepping stone on hrt but one I was happy to get past. That said it does make many people happy so more power to them.
>>5257020
Congratulations Anon! I'm happy for you.
>>5257553
Butch girls are super attractive when done right, that sounds like a wonderful waifu cannot.
>>5258216
YAY Congrats Syndie!
>>5256198
Yeah, sure is.
I love fucking with people by dropping my voice/switching to my girlvoice mid-sentence.
Why are all NB people fucking trash? I have a group of local trans women that I'm friends with and they insist on bringing me to an LGBT uni group that has several agender and nonbinary people in it. I dont like having to share the same table as these fucking attention whores.
>>5253411
p-please...b-be my gf
>>5258489
Have they actually done anything fucked up or you just dismissing them based on being nb?
>>5258489
Because it is literally impossible for a human to be non-binary
>>5258500
Both. Whenever I try to talk about being trans they drown me out. Also NB is so fucking pretentious. Nobody besides a narcissist would act like getting an undercut and a button up and then insisting everyone call them "They" made them systematically opressed. It's hard to even breath in most leftist circles because of the amount of non-hrt "trans" people there are trying to chime in.
>>5258536
That's shitty, they shouldn't be drowning anyone's opinions out.
I suppose I'm lucky because the only nb person in my uni's group is alright, but then they're actually on T and want top surgery when they have the money.
>>5258550
Like yeah I get that but I know a lot of nonbinary fucking chasers.
>>5258722
Good luck. I often forget how lucky I am that I'm in a state where it was pretty cheap.
Are there any long-term self medders here who don't get regular blood tests?
What actually is the risk chance of blood clots/fucking it up and having to go to ER and explain myself? (don't smoke, 23 y/o)
>>5259240
So long you're taking doses in safe ranges. (4mg - 8mg for E, 100-300mg spiro, 25mg-75mg Cypro, etc), and try to eat your food before taking them, you will most likely not see any dangerous effects, ever.
Be wary if you're taking dose on the higher ranges however. It's very unlikely for you to having to suddenly go to the ER, as the dangerous doses are beyond what I mentioned. If you really worry, try to stay in good shape and eat well.
Just be wary of side effects when starting your HRT, i.e. for me Spiro fucked up my skin in terms of dryness and redness, and gave me drymouth at normal doses because it turned out I had a pre-existing aldosterone deficiency and Spiro's effect spikes unless you eat a fair bit before it, though I moved over to Cypro for a lot better results and managed to nuke my T this way. Though ideally I'd want to get my hands on fludrocortisone for my deficiency, also this is most likely not relevant for you, but it's just an example.
>>5259285
Thanks. I was thinking of starting on 100mg spiro and 2mg E for 2 months, then going to 4mg E and 150mg spiro for a few more - then hopefully after that I can have something official in place, otherwise I'll just go up to 6. (any benefit in gradually increasing it like that rather than just starting on 6 straight away?)
Blood clots just kinda scare the fuck out of me.
>>5251685
>pass completely
>only go to work and stay in
>lesbians hate trannies
>trying guys is dangerous
>tfw no gf who will love me back as much as I love her
Everything is bad
>>5259324
I think you want to take 100mg spiro for first 2 weeks a day, then go up to 200mg. You'll know whether your testosterone is gone if your sex drive is completely gone. It's easy to split a spiro pill in half so 50mg+50mg first 2 week, then 100mg+100mg.
(However I personally recommend taking Cypro over Spiro if you can get your hands on it, it's a lot more potent and less dangerous at doses that nuke your T over time, you'd want to start out with splitting your 50mg Cypro pill for 25mg+25mg in a day, moving over to 50mg + 25mg.)
Start with 4mg of estrogen a day, or 2mg + 2mg for 2 weeks, then you can experiment with going higher to see whether it accelerates feminization going higher.
You can consider getting intramuscular injections for E, it would remove the risk of blood clots, and they're a lot more potent so you'll see a lot faster and more feminization than with pills, the safe dose for this is 10mg/1ml, once a week.
Also patches have a similar effect. I added a picture about dosage sizes that I'm going to use to show my doctor for my doses. (I'm >>5257020 ) By the way, don't bother with premarin or ethinyl.
>>5259398
https://www.sfdph.org/dph/comupg/oservices/medSvs/hlthCtrs/TransGendprotocols122006.pdf
Also has some instructions on dosages, which I also intend to show.
>>5251685
Questioning transitioning. how hard is it to find girls as a mtf?
>>5259418
I don't have any form of reference because I've never dated as a man, but if you pass relatively well, I would assume that the experience is not much different than being a cis-lesbian. Lack of charisma, humor and kindness are probably more damaging than being trans.
>>5259451
http://www.slideshare.net/roger961/hormone-replacement-therapy-for-transgenders-dos-and-donts Here's where I got the picture from.
>>5259478
True, but you gotta realize that the dick is a dealbreaker for a lot cis lesbians and not take it personally if you get turned down.
>>5259418
It depends a lot on what kind of places and tools you use for finding people.
I.e. I'm a kinky degenerate who can't get off without pain and being treated like a pet and such, and have met quite a lot of qt pan girls on fetlife, that even were local. And I'm talking with this German QT who likes impact play and such that I unintentionally met on lesgen.(Though don't go there for that stuff, especially if you're type that still wants PIV / keep penis and whatnot.)
Also all the people I've talked with know I'm trans and still want to talk more with me.
I've heard you can have a lot of success on some dating sites & apps as well, even though you make it obvious that you're trans on your profile. Girls who are pan, bi, les or heteroflexible are surprisingly open to dating transgirls so long your personality is good and you make an effort for your transition.
How does a trans girl get a gf?
>>5258536
>>5258489
I've seen some seemingly chill NBs online, and I wonder if I might be NB myself, although the kind that still wants to go on HRT. (Also, you know, the AMAB kind.) So I kind of want to defend them.
Being transgender isn't about being oppressed. Wearing button-up shirts and having a sidecut doesn't make you NB, but if you do that because presenting any more femininely than that makes you makes you uncomfortable, well I can see how "transgender" might fit.
Of course the thing is, although being transgender isn't about being oppressed, a lot of transgender organizations ARE about being oppressed. And although NBs do face real problems, it's not quite the same. So the sort of NBs who go to those sort of activities are going to be a bit more "pretentious" about their gender identity than the ones who don't. Especially in a college, since college students can be fucking insufferable sometimes.
>>5258489
I don't think they're 'all trash', but I think they tend to attract a very large chunk of the tumblr crowd making them seem disproportionately worse. Like every group I would assume varying degree's of personalities and beliefs.
>>5258722
Good luck Syndie! Hope its smooth sailing
>>5259395
You could always try online dating
>>5259418
>>5259597
It's certainly harder but there is some interest once you get passable, though of course that hinges on attractiveness/socialness/outgoingness/luck/etc. getting out and Meeting peoplegive you your best bet to finding someone into you as far as I know.
>>5259240
If you are worried about clots, you can switch to patches, creams, implants, or micronized 17b-estradiol taken sublingual. All avoid liver processing.
With patches, two 100mcg patches should produce a good level in the body.
Oh man! I just had like the best night in a long time! I just went out with a girl friend and 3 new friends to a local bar and we did karaoke all night long. I was nervous that my voice wouldn't carry over into singing well, but it was perfectly great. People were dancing to us, it was crazy and exciting! We are totally going to be heading out like this more often because they have this every Thursday and it was so fun.
>>5258722
Good luck Syndie! Hope it goes as smoothly for you as it did for me. I just got to call Fidelity to make sure my 401k is actually in my name properly, because I don't want to leave financial assets in a lurch because of technicalities down the road. A friend was reminding me that I may need to contact the credit bureaus too to make sure those switch over as well.
._.
fuck!
fuck!
fuck!
I'm sick. Must have caught something on Wednesday. This sucks as I was planning on going to the TDOR event tonight despite the snow predicted.
>>5261424
Was thinking about going to a TDOR event nearby, even though it's a granted terfs will crash the after party (they stay polite and proper during the event itself, though) but with the increased police bullshit this week, I'm staying "home". This afternoon, I was asked to show the contents of my bag in order to enter a shop. First time someone does that to me. I mean, stupid terrorist attacks are no excuse for throwing out savoir-vivre through the window and violating the intimacy of a woman's bag.
>>5261738
I don't think others want me to spread what I have to them. I've been on the verge of puking all day.
bump
>>5265195
-n-grind
My girlfriend broke up with me.
>>5251685
Do cisgirls like transgirls?
>>5265713
Not anymore.
>>5251685
I think I'm bulimic or some shit guys.
I'm a mtf.
Started hrt in early 19 late 18's.
Before then I used to weigh 175 lbs and I was 5'5.
So as you can imagine I was a fat fucker.
However when I started hrt I lost weight to around 135-140 pounds with proper diet and excersize .
By no means am I fat, but am somewhat chubby. Hover around 138.
I think I'm delusional tho. People tell me I look fine or that I look slim.
I get genderd female very easily now adays. As much as male if not more.
But for some reason in the mirror I'm genuinely disgusted at my self. Like I feel like a fatass. In reality I know I'm not fat or obese, but i have this fire in me to want to lose every bit of fat on my body.
Recently I've been going on crash diets of about 800 calories a day.
I'm usally am able to maintain this for about 5 days then I get the strongest cravings. And usally I just binge and deal with it. But recently I prolly binged like 2500 calories of shit foods.
And afterwords I just felt really fucking guilty and depressed.
So I looked into purging and 10 mins later I've thrown up ever thing I just ate.
And I feel such a great relief now.
And have 0 cravings for binging on junk food.
I however am scared now that I'm going to use this as a crutch and am going go develop bulimia and have decaying teeth.
Please halp
Don't say diet and exsersize. I've tried and an not patient enough.
>>5265737
Okay that's kinda funny, I'm curious what happened then?
>>5265743
My cis girlfriend told me she was tired of pretending I was a real girl and said I either needed to let her have sex with other people or she'd break up with me.
Cis women will only put up with us for so long.
>>5265754
Well that's depressing.
>>5265691
I'm sorry anon, that sounds horrible.
>>5265713
Some do.
>>5265741
Maybe you should try talking to a therapist about your problems. Eating disorders are a major issue not to be looked at lightly. Don't be ashamed to admit you have a problem and get the help you need.
>>5265754
She sounds like the kind of person that you're better off without, that's for sure.
what's everyone up to ?
ask/tell me anything
>>5266450
Quitting tobacco. It's pretty horrible. I did quit cold turkey and I'm dipping tea instead, but I'm getting all kinds of weird sensations, jawbones buzzing, cramps, headaches. So, pretty bad.
>>5266023
I probably am, but it still hurts a lot. She used to reassure me about my gender when we first started dating and I thought she was serious. I thought I loved her.
>>5266450
not much really.
but I was at a trans thing yesterday that might lead up to me being a bit more social in the future, at least I hope so.
>ftw friend says "I always knew you were a woman inside. You always looked at my eyes or elsewhere, and never looked at my tits when talking to me."
>>5265691
>>5265713
>>5265754
Some do, some don't. Don't give up on them.
Both my gfs don't care that I'm a transwoman. One identifies as bisexual, and the other as lesbian. Both are cis.
>>5266450
First day of snow here at the farm.
>>5266512
Good luck!!!
>>5267602
There's no luck involved here. When there's something I feel I must do, I do it, period. I may be thoroughly lacking desire or ambition, but I have a sense of duty and a drive to avoid unpleasant sensations that more than make up for it. I'm not having any tobacco until surgery's done and healed, no maybes, no exceptions.
Cheese toast late lunch.
>>5267534
Jesus that gif is creepy.
>>5268895
How so?
>>5268986
It just is, I can't exactly put my finger on it besides "fetishy".
>>5268999
it is a fetish of sorts that some love.
>tfw apron doesn't cover my nipples.
>tfw grease spatter lands on nipple.
>>5269237
a-are you cooking in nothing but an apron?
Wake me up from this nightmare. The lack of acceptance and rejection from people in which you share the same struggle is probably one of the most heartbreaking and demoralizing things ever. At least for me it is.
I'm really having a hard time with things. Despite having some people actually giving me affectionate attention for a change, it's only making me more depressed. I'm so torn between returning the affection out of appreciation for it or further retreating into isolation because I'm afraid I'm putting myself into a situation that will have future negative consequences.
The lack of acceptance though on top of it all... that really has me torn down today. There is nothing I can think of that makes me doubt myself more than being rejected by people in which I thought I could seek understanding.
I'm not trying to say that I'm doubting transitioning, but rather that I'm doubting myself as a whole. I don't want to go back to living as what I was before. There was no bright future in sight for me at all living that way. What I'm doing now gives me faint glimmer from time to time, but situations like these just make me feel like it's even more than that for me. That I'm just defective wholly as a person, not just in relation to my identity.
It seems like even just conversing with people, being myself, and just expressing my feelings about things gets me into trouble, or has a negative outcome. I feel like I have an aura of badness about me or something, and that I'm just wired to be a complete disaster in every regard to how I try to approach my life.
(I hit the character limit so I had to cut and paste the rest of my response, it will be below)
>>5269679
(Continued)
It's all making me feel not even human anymore and that makes me want to just end it all. The only thing holding me back is the handful of people it would break my heart to hurt by taking my own life. Yeah, I would exist anymore afterward to feel the heartbreak, and I can't even know for certain just how much it would hurt them, but I can't handle the thought of it having a significant impact on someone. It hurts so much to think about.
Sorry to whine here again. I actually think that I would prefer that nobody respond to me, as to not perpetuate my sob story for any more of the thread. I just wanted to put my feelings out there somewhere other than just my thoughts.
I actually tried to delete these posts but I guess they don't let you know if it's "too old"?
I'm in an extremely self-loathing mood and I can't snap out of it. I hate myself so much.
Sorry. Like even right now, I'm hating myself for bringing this up, like some sort of pity party. What the hell is wrong with me?
>>5270521
Yea you have an... I think half hour window to delete a post.
I absolutely understand that kind of mood, I usually try to sleep it off when it happens Lain though it's often hard. That and something mindless like a game that requires no effort and you can 'zone' to.
I would say if anything its a major lack of self-esteem and the belief that thing's will always go wrong for you (such as being afraid any situation will have negative consequences). It's a common problem and very hard to overcome, but it is something you can work on. On top of that.... you're always going to have to risk yourself to 'live', put yourself out there to forge bonds, open your heart to being hurt. Its life, its painful, and its hard. But the love and understanding you can find by doing so is absolutely worth the risk, at least in my mind.
Finally being rejected by someone you thought was someone you could go to is never ever a 'good thing' and it can bring down just about anyone. You shouldn't feel guilty about that.
>>5270690
Thank you, you're very sweet. You're always willing to offer encouragement and advice. I respect and appreciate that a lot.
My fears aren't just being hurt myself, but hurting someone else. I'm more afraid of hurting another person than I am being hurt myself, though both are worries.
>>5269344
I often do, but today I had a pantie on. Sun was shining today so the main floor of my house was up to 78F. It was a bit warm.
>>5269428
I am one to catch my eye fulls when the gal isn't looking. I have a very good memory for body shapes. ;) Anyways, when I am conversing with somebody I like to see how they are reacting so that usually means I keep eye contact.
>>5270728
Why thank you for your kind words.
When it comes to a fear of hurting others, sadly that too is a part of life. It's not a matter of will you hurt someone, but when and why. And that's okay because that's a part of life, of opening your heart. What matters is what you do next. Show them you care and it wasn't intended, make them feel better and warm.
People will get hurt, this is life. Humans are flawed and mistakes happen. But its better to be hurt as an accident, by someone who cares about you then by someone who is using them and doesn't care. Because for that risk of pain, you can gain so much warmth and joy.
Hi, Everyone. How's your day going?
>>5271067
Still reeling from a dream that's left me with those ideas that flow like sweet poison. Some of my memories just can't have happened, yet they feel like truth to me. How many lies and dreams have I turned into truth? Can't help feeling there's something at my core that is of this nature, yet I don't know what. And I have a feeling that there would be no way to check if it fits with reality.
I feel like a comedian who's been playing a part for so long that I've become the mask. And there's nothing behind.
Have you ever considered that the reason why you are doing thus is because of failure with women as a man? I say this because I have strong thoughts about being a woman and have not had any kind of relationship in years. These thoughts have been around at least since middle school.
>>5269679
>>5270521
I know how you feel all to well. I was kinda there a 2 to 3 years ago.
I agree fully with what WBT said here >>5270690 and here >>5270878.
You aren't alone. I often feel very broken. As a child I never really learned how to socially interact with others my own age because of the ostracism at school. Even my interactions with adults were odd. Add on top of that I have some attachment issues, and can be overly familiar as a result. Sucks because if I don't moderate it, I can scare people away by being to familiar to quickly, or I end up in bad situations because I become to close to bad people. Also if I do try to moderate it I have no clue when to let myself be more familiar with somebody. I then tend to second guess things and fuck them up.
Furthermore I often wonder if there is ECT damage in parts of the brain that handle social interactions. I guess I'll never know if my quirks are from ECT damage or just never learning things in the first place.
On top of that disassociation from PTSD is often denying me access to the input from my reptile brain's judgments on others. That makes it doubly hard for me to read a person's body language. Now that I'm finally clearing up some of the PTSD and not disassociating all the time, I'm finding out the body language input from my reptile brain is overloading my cognitive brain. That has caused it's own PTSD issues, and I start disassociating again. Who knows, it may have always been overloading that connection. Whatever the case, it's obviously broken.
I keep wondering what else I'll find broken when I peel off the next layer of the onion.
On top of all of this I'm paranoid people will figure out that I'm socially and mentally fucked up and shun me because of that. It also doesn't help that I had a crazy weird life.
>>5271379
Honestly, there's nothing to be paranoid about. Someone who's both brilliant and thoroughly fucked up is fascinating to most people. You're like that, you just haven't embraced it. Yet. Never too late. I've been comfortable with it since my teenage days. And I used to abuse it, throw in some theatricality and it made me quite popular, if a bit feared. Felt kind of weird going back to my old school a few years later and being called by my nickname by new students I had never met. Well, slightly less than being hailed in the street by a performer because she remembered me being in the audience of her show the year before. I just leave an impression, can't help it. If I had any kind of money, I'd probably be a regular sight in the tabloids.
>started transition prefering guys
>3 years and stealth passing later
>now all I want is to do lewd things with girls
This really is quite confusing, and I feel dirty for it.
Does the fear that people think about you differently ever go away? I pass pretty well, I'm mostly in stealth mode outside close friends and family, but I'm still always paranoid people know I'm trans somehow. Does that feeling ever go away?
>>5271460
Just give up and be gay, anon. That said, why is HRT turning somone gay so rare compared to the other way around?
>>5271532
Because normal estrogen exposure throughout your life turns you into a female attracted to males.
Small disruptions in this process turns you gay, large disruptions turns you trans.
>>5271339
Have you ever considered that you might be trans but you mistakenly believe that it's because of a lack of gf or too much anime?
>tfw you'll never be fit but feminine
how long on hormones do you have to be until you can start getting girl/fit/?
>>5271339
I was successful with women before starting my transition, and I still turned out trans(However I did not enjoy "straight sex", but again what I want in terms of sexual activity is in the BDSM territory), all it can do is help you become content as you'd be distracted, but not truly happy with yourself.
Don't think about it too much, you should see what you can do to improve yourself closer to who you want to be, not who you think society would want you to be. So get a therapist.
>>5271796
What you said is only relevant in early pregnancy, before gender is physically determinable. But you're correct if you meant that.
However hormones as an adult does affect attraction to people to some extent, but as Imi said, it's probably being more comfortable with themselves has opened up attraction to more people.
For example since my sexuality settled after starting HRT I've become able to find guys attractive on a physical level and good cologne for example smells great, though I don't find the idea sex with a man attractive, male genitalia turns me off and I'd never see myself in a romantic relationship with one as the qualities I seek in a partner are unique to women. I guess I've just become better at appreciation of physical attractiveness in general on both genders.
>>5271806
More squats & general butt & thigh workouts Anon while eating lots of protein, and cardio & upper body workouts with avoiding protein.
Guys are the cute gender. You're missing out.
Regards
/mtfg/
>>5271998
Suck a dick.
I mean, it's not like it's a new thing for yall over there...
Guys smell bad and have facial hair. I hate facial hair.
>>5272054
Hello nerds, I fucked up saying goodbye at the airport today
>>5271460
There is such thing as lesbianism. It's natural, and history has records of it going back well over 3000 years.
Don't mind me, just popping in to say hello. 3 months on HRT have been good to me, and the Cleveland VA just opened up a new clinic for us transvets. So yeah, life is good.
How're you folks getting along?
>>5271998
>/mtfg/ being a bunch of shits
Some things never change
>>5272981
>Some things never change
Whenever I go to /mtfg/ I always leave it feeling more shit than when I went in even if I didn't post even once. Too many people looking to tear each other down there.
>>5273068
Yeah, hanging out with those neurotic wrecks isn't good for a person's self-esteem. Actually, that can be said of /lgbt/ in general -- spending time away from this place is good for the soul.
>>5272981
>Playful and lighthearted crossposting
>"You guys are a bunch of shits."
oh, okay.
Well I like girls too so can I post as long as it's on-topic?
>tfw no insecure trans-gf mewling under my gentle but firm grip
>>5272546
Still feels wrong. And I get told I'm not really a girl if I like girls.
>>5274008
My mom tells me that I'm a desperate gay man if I hint on liking guys. You can't win.
>>5272981
>VA
Cool, one of the veteran transwomen I know in IA has been helping the VA learn to better serve veterans.
>How're you folks getting along?
Pretty good. Just having revelations that are telling me why my SoHo home and studio was the way it was. I had been trying to figure out why my art gallery on the 5th floor had what appeared to be an apartment at the front of it with it's own dedicated entrance separate from the gallery. It also had large partition doors that could open up it's living room area to the gallery space behind. It's clearly the space I first moved into, but the studio above was finished by March, and the home side was finished by fall.
>>5271998
>>5272054
I prefer women. So much nicer to cuddle up with and make love to.
>>5273068
for a bit there I'd stopped reading /mtfg/ totally. I had a similar reaction when I read it a couple days ago.
>>5274008
THIS >>5274065
They are just trying to cut you down and make you hurt. Ignore them, and go have fun.
>>5274489
It's been an uphill battle, that's for sure. The three month wait to get into the endocrinologist's office nearly drove me insane, but I survived. Tuesday I'll be going back to Cleveland to see the endo again and get my dosages moved up.
Then I disappeared for a while because I started college and couldn't find time to be here. Thank goodness for the month-long break coming up at the end of the semester...
>>5271426
>tfw tabloid exposure kinda scares me.
The paparazzi hanging out on my apartment building's stoop trying to get photos of my gf really spooked me. I actually did some EMDR on it, and it helped. In some way I wish NYC was like Monaco and all unofficial press photography was banned, but that flies in the face of our freedom of the press laws.
>>5271819
>I guess I've just become better at appreciation of physical attractiveness in general on both genders.
Similar here, smell too. On the other hand I can actually see myself having sex with a guy, but he'd likely be one in a million. In this past year I did once have sex with two guys I've known for a long time as part of 5 person group sex, the other two were female friends. Unfortunately the average guy off the street causes me to disassociate as soon as he talks to me. I need to have been around them long enough to be comfortable with them in a social setting.
>>5274589
Good luck with your endo.
College is much more important than 4chan. Get that sheepskin so you can get better loan rates and higher paying jobs.
>>5271339
I dated rather regularly before transition. I transitioned for me and nothing else, because I need to be able to love myself before I can expect someone else to love me.
>>5271460
I've always believed that Love is much more important then anything else. Just roll with it as your tastes change, whether you end up with a guy or a girl.... does it really matter if as long as you are happy with who you end up with?
>>5271516
I'm not sure to be honest, I sadly dwell on it a bit too much myself. I think though that as you pass over time it will slowly fade away, though I'm not sure if it will ever go away for good.
>>5271806
I believe you need to wait at least a year for better results
>>5271998
I don't consider it missing out. To feel that way, I'd have to be attracted to them. That said, I sincerely hope you find a cute guy that makes you happy anon
>>5272113
Oh dear. Hello Little Snake. Care to talk about it?
>>5272909
Quite welcome, and it's unfortunately life. It's not easy but its the only one I have.
>>5272981
I'm so happy for you Kia and hope things continue to go well
>>5273068
>>5272981
to remember, it is not /mtfg/ but one anon in mtfg's name. I wouldn't blame dozens for the views of one if I can help it
>>5273222
If I'm in a bad state of mind I won't post here, because then I need to prioritize myself. This is absolutely true that no matter how nice tlg is, time in the real world is a good thing
>>5273843
Of course you can anon, welcome to the thread.
>>5274008
It's Ignorance, but sadly a commonly ignorant view.
>>5274065
My mom asked if I could just try being gay before I transitioned. She also suggested I take testosterone and body build. It's.... horrifying and yet amusing to hear about some of the sincere beliefs on how people think dysphoria can and or should be cured.
>>5267602
i keep questioning shit and then i look at this picture and wish i was her instead of banging her.
>tfw you watch Survivor Series tonight
>tfw one of the best matches was Charlotte vs Paige and all you can think about is doing lewd things with Paige
So how's everyone's day going?
>>5276890
I'm pretty comfortable with exposure and I can deal with most social situations even though anhedonia means they're more often tedious chores than not. What I can't do is tell people to go away and leave me alone, that's hurtful to do, and I suck at being mean. At least not in such a direct fashion.
So... I used to be pretty popular when I was young, without really seeking it, and those that didn't like me didn't show it to avoid trouble (not necessarily from me...)
We had one of those stupid management workshops back in engineering school, based on transactional analysis crap. And while I had the worst relational outlook possible according to that bullshit theory, I also was voted as the most charismatic figure in the group. Completely stumped the consultant that bored us through that stuff. I guess he didn't encounter that many freaks that were so far outside the "normal" social framework he couldn't pigeonhole them.
>>5277362
Tell me about the ahedonia. Do you have it diagnosed? I really want to have access to my feelings again, I'm really struggling to make decisions like this.
>>5277368
Yes, it's diagnosed, as part of a melancholic depressive syndrome. No idea about getting positive feelings back, I always was that way. When it comes to pleasure, I'm like a born blind person who'd get asked about colours. That's something completely theoretical. I know some things are supposed to be pleasurable, like I'd know the sky is blue. I can tell good food from the lesser stuff, but eating it doesn't do a thing a for me.
Negative sensations, however? I have no problem feeling most of those, and avoiding them is one of the few motivators I have. Though I'll admit I pretty much ignore pain, hunger and thirst after what I've put myself through over the years. And my only fears left are existential or metaphysical. Brussels sprouts still make me want to puke just smelling them, though.
>>5277134
>She also suggested I take testosterone and body build.
wha
>>5277751
The reasoning was that I was only trans due to having low testosterone, and while yes my T was low, the thought of becoming more masculine was horrifying. Needless to state I stomped on that idea hard.
Body building was much the same, she thought that if my body was more typically attractive, I would be a lot happier. So maybe I should get all manly and buff in her mind and I'd be happier as a man. But... yea that was also pretty gross.
It took her several years to start coming around but she's getting better. Apparently the thing that won my family over more then anything is how much happier I am since starting HRT.
>>5277220
That's a pretty strong sign. I wish I was her too. I really want my own 15yo body to start from.
>>5277328
Last night and this morning have been introspection time.
>>5277362
>and I suck at being mean.
The only way I can be mean is to throughly ignore somebody, and if I'm ignoring it may not mean I'm being mean. It, at it's base, means I'm not coping in some manner with the relationship.
>>5277577
*HUGS* I still think you need some EMDR and ketamine.
>>5277751
Welcome to old failed ways of thinking. If you ain't masculine enough, then you obviously don't have enough testosterone. *gur*
>>5278107
>how much happier I am since starting HRT.
My friends and family have really noticed that.
>>5278107
well I'm glad that didn't happen and they're taking it better now.
>>5278620
>My friends and family have really noticed that.
I am sometimes visibly depressed lately, thing is, I am still a lot "happier" than before, it's just that I never really expressed my emotions before HRT when I was at my lowest point, so most would probably guess I feel worse now even if I don't.
>>5278686
They now notice I have highs and lows now. Before I was just constantly depressed and showed little to no real emotions.
>>5278620
I'm happy to know you've been happier as well Syndie
>>5278686
It took a few years and honestly they still screw up regularly on gender, make up weird words, and things like that. But they're trying, and that's enough for me.
.... My grandmother has got to be the oddest, especially the past half a year or so. She's super complimentary about my figure, teases my mother and I about my figure being nicer then my mothers, and says you can really see the changes. It's wonderful but I am far from used to it.
>>5278620
I still think getting rid of PTSD is the last thing I need. And getting rid of my depression would require such drastic means I'd rather not even think about it. Besides, it's a deep and major part of who I am. Edge of psychosis, I know, but that's what melancholia is all about.
Honestly, what happened back in '99 has been the main thing driving me to keep up living and preventing me from going down on flames. She gives me purpose. A sad, insane purpose by all accounts, but without it, I wouldn't be much different from those girls who were on top of the heap in high school and who end up fat, sad, ugly, at best with a dead end service job, at worse stay at home mothers and who cling to sanity through memories and pipe dreams. Ballad of Lucy Jordan rings a bell? Well, I'm 37 and that pretty much was my birthday song this year. And I'm going to add another line to my list of things I did I'd never have put on a things to do before I die list if lists were my things: spending Christmas and New Year's Eve in the looney bin.
And on a completely unrelated note, I made my first pair of shoes. Black suede ballet flats, 100% leather. They look a bit crude, to be fair, but they're really comfy for a first try. The price for that pair of cedar adjustable shoe lasts was a bit steep, but I think they're gonna see some use. Have a lot of sole leather left and I'm looking at really far out embossed leather sheets on Etsy.
>>5277134
We got lost from eachother and i took a long trainride home
Im recovering from the flu and I have mass amounts of gatorade and soup, how is your day today?
>>5279516
SOUP!
I'm eating clam chowder right now.
I love soups, especially the creamy ones.
>have bloodwork done at local VAMC
>remind them that they need to check female hormones along with male
>look up test results
>reminders to use female reference ranges on EVERY FUCKING TEST
>they didn't bother checking female hormones at all
>have to reschedule endocrinologist visit, earliest appointment is at the end of December
>need prescription refills soon
I thought I was done with this bureaucratic bullshit. Oh well, at least my T level is half of what it used to be.
>>5279614
Atleast they checked something, my first round of bloodwork coming out here they didnt even check what my hormone levels were and I had to get re taken again after my results
>me "I don't do anal." "I find it disgusting."
>client "What kinda pro doesn't do anal?" "What good are you?"
>me "Maybe I'm not the kind of girl you are looking for." "Goodbye."
Is the memory that came to mind when I read the candidate's name in my old address book. I'm not surprised he had a line through his name. I feel a low level of disgust every time I hear his name.
>>5278897
Thank you! <3
>>5278947
Since I've started EMDR, I've been remembering my former partners in so much more detail. I also I'm no longer focusing on the sorrow. I'm remembering the highs we had too. So much nicer.
>>5279614
>>5279653
I've fought that some with my clinic that I'm trying to work with. They have a program, and want to learn, but there seams to be a lot that needs to become automatic that they don't get yet.
I'm not sure if the VA yet has protocols established for what care is needed. I should ask my friend who is helping them learn here in Iowa.
The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH), The University of California San Francisco and University of Minnesota Medical School Center for Sexual Health all have lots of good information for medical practitioners. WPATH is a good start for medical practitioners for learning what tests and procedures need to be different for transgenders. UCSF also has some really good online resources detailing medical stuff for medical practitioners. They also have continuing education courses they teach.
These are links for your health care providers.
http://www.wpath.org/
http://www.wpath.org/uploaded_files/140/files/Standards%20of%20Care,%20V7%20Full%20Book.pdf
http://transhealth.ucsf.edu/
http://transhealth.ucsf.edu/trans?page=lib-providers
http://www.sexualhealth.umn.edu/
http://www.sexualhealth.umn.edu/education
>>5279516
Oh that sounds upsetting, especially with a long train ride and the flu. Going to say goodbye on its own is pretty impressive, I'm sure she appreciates it.
My day is going fairly well outside of an upset tummy. A long nap helped a little bit though
>>5279581
I like heavily spiced broth's myself more then creamy soups
>>5279614
Oh my heavens that sounds horrifying and frustrating. I'd probably file a complaint if you told them so often.
>>5281033
I wasn't the one that gave them all those reminders -- those reminders were given to the lab techs by primary care. I'm definitely going to be filing a complaint with the patient advocate, though.
I think the problem could stem from the fact that while there are several transvets assigned to this particular VA, I'm the only MtF among them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvaMslvRIzs
This thread is pining for the fjords...
https://youtu.be/T4gaU9YERv0
#schmeckel
Guess I'll throw down some music too, I rather enjoy this song when the mood strikes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvMYDp_c66Q
>>5281190
Oh dear. That does sound bad, I hope the filing goes smoothly. And that certainly could be confusing for the staff, but it's still not an excuse to screw up medical testing unfortunately.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RGTFmF-brI
Suppose its just music sharing time!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlpVAHkencc
hi
>>5287693
Good evening.
>>5287700
how are you
Hey Everybody.
ooga booga, where all da hawt grills at?
>>5287875
I'm doing well enough, planning to relax before bed. Yourself?
>>5287884
Good evening Catie
>>5287923
I've never heard of that brand, perhaps try your local grill retailer?
>>5287930
Heheh. Hiya, Wbt.
>>5287935
Evening Kia.
Woo, finally got my estrogen levels back.
T: 1.17 ng/mL
E: 347 pg/mL
Gettin' there, and it's time to go up in dosages.
>>5288001
Those seem pretty okay to me though it's been awhile since I checked, my doctor seems pretty happy with where I'm at. I'm happy things are going so well for you though!
>>5288001
That is a perfectly fine set of levels.
T is actually on the low side.
>gf asleep in the bedroom
>always get sad and anxious when she's asleep and I'm not
>no real friends to talk to because I've always been weird
>everyone else I talk to wants to put their dick in me
I have everything I once wanted yet I want more.
Thank you for this thread, this give me hope for myself yet.
>>5288577
>Maybe it's something to consider working on in your life
Oh right, I'll just magically make friends.
>>5288415
>tfw nobody to cuddle up to in this cold weather
>tfw nobody to make me feel safe when the wind makes the tree branches rub against the wall
>>5288590
Or you could try joining local groups based upon your interests online or offline as well as social sites. It's a scary prospect but you can certainly work on trying to make friends
>>5289335
even though I do that now sometimes, and I meet people there, I still don't know how to connect to them.
I mean last time someone talked to me, and it was fun, but that was about it... Idk how to like ask them for contact info or anything, still feels weird... the only way how that works right now is if they ask me, and that hasn't really happened.
>Broken up with by oneitis 3 months ago
>No friends because I was okay with just talking with her
>No family to visit or be with
>even roommate is going to her wife's family for thanksgiving
>shes even taking the dog
Who /alone every holiday/ here.
not sure what haircut to get
and what colour
halp pl0x
>>5289366
>I still don't know how to connect to them.
I never really had the gift of gab. Also what I know is so esoteric. I usually try to get them talking about themselves, or something they like. Then listen as I draw more out of them. Still I feel pretty poor at being able to do that.
>Idk how to like ask them for contact info or anything, still feels weird... the only way how that works right now is if they ask me
I'm the same way. Always been to shy and scared to ask. I'm very much at the far end of beta from aggressive. Even when I'm asked it needs to be done gently.
>>5289368
Volunteer to help at a soup kitchen that is giving a thanksgiving meal.
>>5289887
pixie & purple
I have no clue on that sort of stuff.
Who wants to be my gf
So I got back home from babysitting my nephew last night, and I get a text from my roommate saying she is heading out to a local place with a bunch of girls for a jazz night and I should come along, so I of course did. It turned out to be a pretty fun night.
Kidnappy friends are the best friends. She is really helping me get over being ridiculously shy and feeling awkward.
>>5290606
me i followed u
>>5289931
>except wait...
The trick is to find places where you can wait in the presence of others. Better yet if you are interacting with them. On the other hand if all you can manage is to read the paper or book in a coffee house, library, or at a corner table in a bar, then do it. That will at least get you more comfortable in the presence of others.
I feel trapped out here in the country because I don't have places where I can go and meet like minded people.
>>5288767
I hope you find someone Catie
>>5289366
As scary as it is, sometimes you should just ask. "Hey I enjoyed our talk and would love a new friend, here's my number / what's your number." Worst that'll happen if you get shot down. You could also make up silly business cards with your info and a statement of intent for friendship I suppose.
>>5289368
I have no idea what oneitis means, but I do hope you manage to get over them and expand your social circle again.
>>5289887
Whatever you're happiest with?
>>5290606
I hope you find someone special Tea Chan
>>5290618
They really are, insistent and well-meaning friends can easily be an introverts lifeline.
>>5294009
>just ask
>just
that's kind of the core of the problem :3
>>5290772
>I feel trapped out here in the country because I don't have places where I can go and meet like minded people.
even though I live in the second largest city here I felt the same, there's really not that much to find here, everything seems to be centered around vienna mostly.
I'm glad I found a group now at least... let's see how this will work out.
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
>>5295395
Good luck!!!
>it be winter
>skin gets paler, revealing faint freckles
>tiny freckles on upper lip
>an entire season of panicked double-takes in the mirror
but goddammit i love the cold
>>5296069
You too.
>tfw nobody will ever talk about you this way
>>5298171
Generally though when someone does talk about a person that way it's describing them to others. I hope you find someone to love you who believes in your beauty inside and out though.
>>5298268
Thank you. I hope the same for you as well.
Hope you girls all had a nice Thanksgiving.
>>5298278
Thank you as well
>>5298455
It was good, exhausting but everyone enjoyed my cooking so I'm feeling good about that. I hope yours went well too!
>>5298470
Nah, I ended up skipping the majority of it because I didn't want to put up with my extended family's open hostility. I spent some time with my parents after the festivities, and now I'm about halfway toasted and being all foreveralone.jpg.
>>5298491
Ugh yea my thanksgiving is generally only immediate family and friends we (and by we, I mean my grandmother and I) invite. They where bad with gender/pronouns but they're also sweet and accepting, so I'll live with it. I'm sorry it got to you though and hope being toasted helps you relax and enjoy your evening Kia!
>>5298470
>>5298510
Whoops, lost my trip.
Anyone else constantly get misgendered by family this Thanksgiving? I had so many instances where I was being introduced as my mother's son and I wanted to cry the entire time.
>>5298491
Honestly, coming out to my extended family wasn't much of a problem. With the single exception of a cousin's boyfriend, nobody was hostile and few were really surprised. I guess the reason why my parents aren't as understanding is that they counted on me to make them grandparents, with my sister being barren because of botched endometriosis surgery. Well, I can't imagine them ever thinking they'd one day end up with two sterile daughters and no grandkids.
>>5300631
My extended family (which means my stepmother's family) is comprised of a bunch of uneducated conservatives who grew up without such commodities as electricity and running water. Some of them eventually went on to join the civilized world, but most of them are still stuck in their clannish, hillbilly ways.
Thankfully, my dad, stepmom (who might as well be my biological mother), and sister are 100% okay with me.
tfw not sure if lesbian or bi because 4chan has given you so much internalized homophobia from agp shitposting
>>5300828
Hey, I'm pretty much a hick, no matter how thick I lay the elegant veneer, and most of my family are... We pretty much lived as a clan, as you say, as long as my grandmother was there to keep it together, meaning second cousins or even people who aren't blood related but come from lines that were allied at some point count as family. But even my most religious aunt (catholic) is fine with it. Actually, I'd say she's been the most encouraging of the lot, which did feel a bit weird.
>>5300849
I'm asexual and homoromantic, but I'll still say I'm a lesbian to piss off guys and terfs alike. So, well, I'm a political lesbian at best. And even then, I've discovered over the past year that I could like some guys and let them flirt a bit. Non-op, really sweet beta trans guys, that is. Never met any of those before I started spending more time around the trans scene. The sad thing is... I like them because they don't have that male vibe that totally puts me off, the same way some MtFs have it and really creep me out. Nothing to do with passing, and not even with being the non-op type... Just a visceral "please don't leave me alone in that room with them" kind of feeling.
>>5258536
My partner is nb. Rather than insisting on "they" she just doesn't really care what pronouns are used. They makes her happy when I use it, but I have had some trouble adjusting my grammar for using they them etc properly.
Never had a problem with drowning out, but that might be because my partner isn't the kind of person to do that with anyone. If anything, they let others drown them out.
>>5299562
I was, but I didn't mind because it was less being malicious and more these people had known me for years and years. On top of that they tried, just failed, often. So I'm not gonna get mad at them for failing since they tried.
>>5300849
I think you just need to find someone you're happy with and not worry beyond that Anon
>>5300972
I avoid calling myself lesbian just because the drama it can provoke from the wrong people isn't worth it. I simply state I like girls or I'm gay. It seems to work fine.
>>5299562
My family is actually really spot on for my gender. They've fully embraced me as a girl entirely, but to be fair this is not actually a new thing to them since I'd been waivering back and forth for the last 15 years on transitioning fully.
>tfw got called ma'am a number of times this morning and yesterday. That felt good.
>>5296418
While I get paler in the winter, my freckles also get paler.
>>5298171
Never say never!!! Is wishing you find true joy and happiness.
>>5298455
I had a blast!!!!! !!!!! !!!!!
Mom & dad, without telling me, invited all their friends and neighbors who didn't have anywhere to go. Mom told me to expect this as the norm in the future. I'd told her what me and some friends had done in Minneapolis, and she loved the idea. Mom's an excellent organizer so things also went very smoothly. The house was filled with people I knew at least a bit, and the icing on the cake was K&D being there.
I arrived a bit after noon. 5 gals were there already helping mom prepare for the party that officially started at 2pm. K&D both made sure they greeted me properly with long kisses in front of everybody. The entry way is easily seen from the kitchen so they all saw.
Over the top of a light cream colored silk turtleneck, I wore a very complex multicolored freshwater pearl necklace I made 20ish years ago. That sparked off a number of the gals talking about their favorite pieces. That was a lot of fun and I got to hear what many of them liked in jewelry. Yeah, most liked the expensive shiny stones, but they liked interesting materials and designs much more. These were instead made out of stone, string, feathers, shells, beetle wings, etc.. By far the showiest necklace worn there was made out of beetle wings and seeds. The tiny 1-2mm seeds kept the iridescent beetle wings separated just a tiny bit. It was a 100% natural necklace.
>>5298470
>>5298510
My mom avoided the exhaustion this year by having everybody bring all sorts of side dishes, and a number helped her in the kitchen all morning. We had 16 of my parent's friends there so there were 21 of us in total. The only work that had to be done after 2pm was carve the turkey and ham, put some pies in the oven and pull them out when done, and deal with the dishes and leftovers. o.O
>>5298491
(pic) and we humans don't even inhabit 0.3 planet. ;)
>>5298491
*hugs* Misgendering sucks.
>>5299562
At the party I don't think I was misgendered at all. A couple of the guys possibly were a bit uneasy, but nobody said anything. I was pretty much accepted as a gal. From the people mom and dad know, I'm not surprised. These are all very highly educated people from, or formerly from, the university less than a mile away, or from the lab were my dad worked.
>>5300828
>>5300936
A friend is an escapee from the Kentucky hills... She remembers when her valley got electricity. Her parent's didn't want it so the lines just went past their house. She graduated hs in 1990, and had never seen a hair dryer or curling iron, except in an ad.
>>5300849
Be one's self.
>>5300972
>they don't have that male vibe that totally puts me off
That's my issue with most men. I can tie it to the abuse I received when young.
>>5301200
If I bother to mention what I am, I'll just say I'm a bisexual transwoman who mostly prefers women. I'm kinda at the point where I'll gladly quickly filter out those who are asses about gender and sexuality so I don't have to deal with them.
> Don't go weeks without masturbating.
> Feel like it one night.
> THE PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN.
> Turned off again.
Welp, can't wait until SRS.
>tfw most women's hats are for heads over an inch smaller than mine.
>>5304010
Dr. Goat says: Just try getting it erect once a day for a few minutes. Eventually the pain will go away.
Possible MTF (I am also Bi if that matters) here, I have some concerns about some stupid stuff.
Such as how I will look like when I am older, like 60+.
I don't wanna look like those stereotypical Women at 60s, but I know there isn't much I can do about it.
Did you lot worry before you transitioned?
Or do you lot worry already?
>>5304468
Everyone grows old and eventually dies. That's something you should make peace with because there's no point in worrying about it. Even less in trying to fight against it.
>>5304472
I get that, I have accepted death, but it's just the way I will look. I am fine looking very old, but that gap between 60- 80 is something I'm worried about.
I guess it ties to some old women in my life, or some old women who I hate in general, that I hate.
> Start transitioning
Hell yes, I'm straight as an arrow
> 5 months in
> Get qt mtf gf
> 11 months in
> Break up with gf, acquire ftm bf
> Have one night stand with cis girl
> bf notices I'm better at having sex
> Didn't work out, get cis bf
> Sex is terrible
> now 2 years in, deep stealth mode
> touched by a girl
> ohmygod.jpg
Why are girls the only ones that can be gentle? Why is sex with a girl infinitely better than sex with a guy? And is it only me who wants a girl because of the gentle sex (, and general cuddling, and being able to talk to a compassionate being...), or am I just fucked by my (non-existent, post-orchi) T levels?
>>5304480
Do you really intend to living past 60? What for ?
>>5306020
<insert generic misandrist response here>
On a more serious note, you should worry less about why you prefer women and just roll with it.
>>5306088
Even if preferring women would make me a nymphomaniac agp hon, whom transsexuals and cis lesbian girls alike would look as like I was their deepest fears embodied?
>>5306154
>Compromising because you might hurt other peoples fee-fees
>>5306154
If you base your sense of self-worth on what other people think about you, well...you're going to spend the entire rest of your life fucking miserable.
Be awesome, be /you/.
>>5304468
>Such as how I will look like when I am older, like 60+.
Like a 60+ woman. if you stay on hormones, you will have a good chance at looking better. Older women loose their feminizing fat layer, and breasts sag as they deflate. That can be countered by maintaining normal hormone levels.
>worry
my worries were more on how people would react to and treat me during and after transition. As said, we all grow old.
>>5304480
We all grow old,,, and how we do so is a lottery and how much we fight it.
>>5306164
> If you base yur sense of self worth on other people's options
Hmmm... What is passabilty...
> tfw hon
>>5306311
I work on passing because it's important to my self-image. I don't work on it because of what other people may or may not think of me, mostly because I'm too cynical to believe that anything I do is going to change how people see transwomen.
>>5302419
Oh thats nice, there were 6 at my familys thanksgiving. I rather enjoyed it
>>5304010
I hope you get it when able anon but from what I know >>5304091 could be right on how to fix it.
>>5304468
>Such as how I will look like when I am older, like 60+.
Most likely, like any other woman in her sixties depending on when you transition. Honestly I didn't think I'd live to see thirty so I'm not really gonna fret about sixty.
That said, I'd rather the way I will look at 60 after decades on hormones then the way I could have looked without them.
>>5306020
>Why are girls the only ones that can be gentle?
They're not, it's just more common. There are gentle guys and rough girls
>Why is sex with a girl infinitely better than sex with a guy?
Cause you're more interested in girls likely, a lot of sex is mental
>And is it only me who wants a girl because of the gentle sex (, and general cuddling, and being able to talk to a compassionate being...), or am I just fucked by my (non-existent, post-orchi) T levels?
I think your mind knows what it wants and you're trying to rationalize it. I'd say just follow your heart and try not to worry so much about who becomes your partner as much as that they make you happy.
>>5306154
>>5306162
>>5306164
I mean.... to be honest anon, if you're going to let the worries of others dictate your life, why transition? To transition at this point is going against a huge amount of people to be true to yourself. Stopping halfway (with denying sexuality) for some form of approval seems off to me. Be yourself, love who you want to love, and get on with your life.
A quote I've always liked by... I believe Dr Seuss
"Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
>>5304472
>>5304480
>>5306031
Yeah, there's really not a whole lot of point in living up to and past the point where you're just plain old. There is no such thing as aging gracefully after all, and even the best plastic surgery and personal trainers and shit money can buy really don't do much to stretch out that "doesn't look/feel old" expiration date. Doubly so if your genes fucked you in that regard.
>>5307429
That's kinda vain, lady. Just sayin'.
>decide to look through transition timelines in the OP
>they almost all are already close to passing at 4 months
What's the best method of painless suicide?
>>5304468
>>5304472
>>5304480
>>5306031
>>5307429
This gal is 60 and a transwoman too.
Aging is rapidly getting conquered. They know so much more about it than they did just two decades ago. That pace of learning is accelerating. We can stay on hormones, and negate some of the problems gals have as they get past menopause.
This gal (Christie Brinkley) is doing nicely at 61.
This gal is 70 in this photo. She should be around 80 now.
>>5307857
I didn't really begin passing until the 1 year or longer point. And that's likely just because I was fat and had long hair, who knows. Take your time and just work on improving yourself is my suggestion.
Just got back from finally going to the Goth Industrial club I was gonna go to. I danced for so long, and I got to meet a friend I hadn't seen for about 14 years. I came away with tons of pictures, and had an amazing night.
I'd never worn anything so revealing out to dance anywhere, so that was pretty exciting. Apparently the consensus is that I looked very cute in the outfit.
>>5307941
Please stop saying gal.
Welp, looks like I'm single now.
So. How do i stop myself from killing myself?
Also, where the fuck should I get started in looking for another relationship and not get murdered?
>>5310004
also, how to stop myself from coming onto my best friend and probably ruining our friendship?
>>5310004
The only thing I can suggest here is taking up some activities that boost your sense of self-worth without requiring a partner.
And if all else fails, exercise. Nothing gets the stress hormones out of your blood faster.
