Well I finally did it /lgbt/. I saw a doctor yesterday, and she (MtF trans herself) fast tracked me to getting me on hormones. As of a few hours ago, I'm on a cocktail of spiro, estra, and finasteride. As happy as I am to have finally taken the leap and followed my heart, I'm scared about what might happen, and whether I'll ever get a body I'm truly happy with. Still, it's better than reaching 50 and realizing I'm too gross to ever be pretty ever again.
How are you feeling, transes? Tell me your feels while I sip this cheap ass wine. Pic related, my queen and my inspiration.
Against Me! sucks
>tranny doctors pressuring people into being tranny
Physician heal thyself
>>5248533
You suck
>>5248528
it isn't
>>5248528
actually its going pretty well at the moment
>>5248600
Mentally unwell people should not be allowed in positions of power over others.
>>5248528
not the biggest fan of their music but i gotta admit, her True Trans mini documentary series really helped me back when i was having a very hard time struggling with the idea of being trans.
that was about a year ago exactly. no real progress since then aside from mentality, hair growth and wardrobe... still too scared to come out to everyone and become an awkward hon that everyone has to put up with...
>>5248600
>Trans doctors are aces.
Why accuse them of that? Maybe they lost their libido because of lack of testosterone, but that doesn't make them aces necessarily.
>>5248893
Just try to get on HRT. You can stay boymode for a while while it does its thing
>>5248528
I'm having trouble finding a doctor. I havent asked my physician, I've been looking for a gendertherapist because everyone suggests it. But the center I've been trying to contact that specializes with transgender issues, nobody pick up the phone so i leave messages and have not gotten a call back. it kinda sucks because all i wan to do it is start HRT this holiday season. its all i want for xmas :(
>>5248894
I see what you did there.
>>5248893
Someone I met turned me on to Transgender Dysphoria Blues just as I was coming out and starting to transition non-medically, it really helped me a lot.
I can confirm it's scary to begin with, but once you make the leap you get more comfortable with it. Of course, then your "ally" cis friends will ask you a billion dysphoria-triggering questions, but they'll generally stop if you ask nicely. At least that's been my experience.
>>5248928
Ugh I'm SO SORRY. I feel like shit now bc my road was really easy. Therapy is a great salve for a lack of HRT but I would definitely recommend talking to your physician, they can recommend resources you may not be aware of.
>>5248949
>>5248528
Its ok, dont feel bad. I'm happy for you. I just wish it was that easy for everyone.
I'm actually afraid to talk to my physician about it and coming out to my family and friends. I live in a smaller city so its not very common here I dont think. Its been a hidden struggle for me for a long time, I've spent a long time trying to pass off as masculine so nobody catches on. But I know what I must do now.
>>5248924
ive been told this before, i really should. i probably would have done it by now, but i dont want to start hrt before coming out to at least my roommate. weve been friends since 10 yrs old and do everything together, we even are in business together. it wouldnt feel right taking hormones without telling him. i just have to get that courage i guess.
>>5248940
your words are very encouraging. honestly, both of you have been helpful. i dont want to live like this anymore. i cant do anything until after new years cause of work reasons, but i just cant let 2016 slip by like i did with this year.
thanks yall
>>5248924
Are you allowed to do this though? I thought you had to be approved as someone who was willing to transition to grill?
Just turned 20, Started on 2mg of cypro/35mg oestradiol after being on only spiro for like 6 fucking months because my endo is inexperienced as fuck and didn't want to take my suggestions. After she consulted her superiors she told me that if I had been on e from the start, there would've been noticable physical changes by now FUCK I'm so mad. It took her talking to someone in fucking Sweden to realise she was going about things the wrong way. Small town blues I guess.
Anyone else suffering from being in a small, shitty town? Cannot wait to move to the city next year.
>>5249039
Coming from a small town, I 10000% understand. It's super spooky bucking that heteronormie bullshit. Everyone will judge you, but so what? Their lives are so bland and ruled by what Western society has deemed appropriate for 150 years. Fuck that noise. Be who you are. Just stay safe, those rural cunts can be dangerous if you venture into the boonies.
>>5249043
Nothing like a new year to give yourself a giant kick in the ass. This is the year you will take charge of your life, burn the mask, and become who you truly are. Always remember that you have an army of your fellow trans siblings behind you, rooting for you every single step of the way. It's not easy, but true happiness never is. <3
>>5249066
I didn't have to prove shit. I did go to my doctor's appointment with face makeup and a pretty cute outfit but I didn't need to give them my trutrans card or anything. Standards vary by region.
>>5249114
Good luck. Lived in small towns from age 4-18, one year I lived in the middle of the God damned wilderness. No wonder us rural transes are so fucked up inside, we're guessing half the time and the other half we're worried the rednecks will murder us.
Stay strong bae, you can do it.
>>5249114
Protip, moving to a trans-friendly city is the best thing i've done as far as my mental health goes. I wouldn't drag my feet on that one if I were you
>>5248528
I'm actually doing pretty well. I can't remember the last time I was misgendered, dysphoria is much more manageable, in a stable relationship, dem titties. Only real downside regarding transition is that I still can't figure out how to tuck, I've always just worked around it with outfits and it's starting to piss me off. I've had to adjust to my genitals working a bit differently too but orgasms are pretty amazing so whatever. HRT is pretty magical, between that and an antidepressant my life is gradually getting unfucked.
Congrats on the script btw, stick with it, even when you feel like shit just keep taking it and things will gradually improve. Another word of advice, I know I sound like a hypocrite but you should try to get off this site and meet other trans girls on Facebook or in your city or whatever is normal for you, you'll end up a lot happier with yourself. This place is really not healthy.
>>5249185
I'm so glad to hear that! And thanks for the advice on feeling shitty, I know I'd be sorely tempted to stop as soon as I started feeling awful but it's good to have a reminder that mood swings are tricky bitches.
DESU I haven't been on 4chan in months, except to browse porn, and this is only my 3rd time on /lgbt/. I'm an active weekly member in my local trans/gnc support group, we're having a TDOR event this weekend, and I even just shut down my old "sissy" blog because it was giving me the creeps. I've got no room for negativity about my identity these days. I guess I just like coming here for the nostalgia--if it wasn't for trap threads on /b/, I might never have sucked my first dick or pushed myself to wear panties, which really got the ball rolling.
>>5249043
>i just cant let 2016 slip by like i did with this year.
I hear that, I'm already changing shit so I don't get trapped in NYR stuff and completely fail like every year.
I hope it goes well with your friend, please update on your situation in /mtfg/ when you do.
>>5249185
>I still can't figure out how to tuck
https://youtu.be/JjZFhnFFItM
I've only had one pop out while wearing one in the last 6 months and I'm not down with tape.
>>5249212
No problem. Awesome to hear you've got people outside here you can talk to. That's pretty similar to my experience with 4chan too actually haha, I come back here because it's like the abusive home that I was raised in.
>>5249234
Oh I've seen the videos, there's actually one on vimeo that shows the whole process and I've seen it in real life, I'm not sure if my balls are too big or I'm just retarded but I can't get the things up in the canal
>>5249252
This myth is so fascinating to me, imagine someone not trans successfully being pressured to transition. That would be really fucking weird, so it makes sense that it's never happened.
>>5249247
Oh my that would be the problem. I never had trouble putting them up there and the only other person I knew irl that did have a problem eventually got an orchi. I'm p sure a gaff would still help though, at least to smooth it out and make it look like a mound instead of a bulge. HRT didn't shrink your balls at all?
>>5249259
They're about half the size they were, but they started out bizarrely huge. I might end up getting an orchi actually. I just wear two layers of tight underwear right now.
>>5249264
That's the only other method I'd mention. Well if you do get an orchi just make sure to get the least amount of scarring if you still want srs and keep the skin.
I mean, unless you don't plan on srs then just get them to remove the excess skin but recovery is way longer from that.
I believe an orchi is around 4k usd with 2-3 weeks recovery. It's very attainable and it's probably the only thing I'm doing to my downstairs since I have a lot of dysphoria due to my balls, I'm fine with the rest.
>>5249285
Yeah that's pretty much how I feel, I don't think I want any other surgery unless I can somehow get a vagina and still keep my phallus, I don't mind it and it has a lot of benefits and my asshole isn't going anywhere so I don't see a point. I'd just leave the scrotal skin either way, would rather let it shrink of its own accord than get additional scarring
>>5248528
finasteride is dangerous as fuck. you should not have taken that one.
Not sure if it's just my bipolar and the isolation colluding to make me feel like shit, but I'm seriously considering detransing for the first time in a long time. I haven't had a real job since 2011 and I have no friends where I live. The only person in the world I want to be with is 16 hours away and I haven't saved enough to move yet. I'm convinced that I don't actually pass even though I haven't been openly misgendered in years. I'm just tired of looking at myself and seeing a man staring back. I think everyone is just humoring me and I feel like I should just go back to living as a twinkish guy. At least that way I wouldn't be so terrified of every interaction with people. Would probably stay on blockers, but the self hate is pretty overwhelming right now.
>>5248528
Do you live in Sydney, someone on my Facebook newsfeed went to a trans doctor yesterday.
>>5249312
Care to elaborate? I'm trusting my doctor so far since she's also trans, I know there are plenty of risks with HRT in general and it didn't seem like fin was altogether that much worse than anything else in terms of side effects.
>>5249339
Not the anon you're replying to, but it made me unable to breathe when I was self-medding 5mg/day and gave me awful anxiety when I tried 1mg/day much later. I don't think it's particularly dangerous though. And it helps with hair loss if that's a problem
>>5249347
Thanks, I'm only on 2 mg with supervision so I think I should be okay. My dysphoria seems to be specifically centered on my hair; I have a bit too much on my body (read: any) but my hairline is fucked. Genetics gave me the solid beginnings of a widow's peak in my early 20s. I mentioned this specifically to my doc and she responded in kind :) So thanks, I'm not gonna worry. But I didn't really know what it was specifically for before.
>>5249346
I did. Not since about a year ago now. I'm also not medicated for the depression anymore. Most therapists want you to to come in weekly or bi weekly and I can't afford it. The mental health resources where I live are also pretty limited.
I wouldn't say passing is overrated. It certainly isn't everything, but it does count for a lot imo. More than that, even if I passed, even just barely, I still have to live with and accept me. I feel thats difficult to do when I see myself as very ugly. Yeah there are worse things in life. Starving African children and war and stuff. I just wish dysphoria wasn't so difficult to deal with.
9 months into my investigation and they're gonna put me on t-blockers. Still no E though :^)
>>5249346
>Passing is highly overrated, I can't wait until we demolish the whole concept.
Hon detected.
>>5249434
Hons worry the most about passing
>>5249421
>:^)
Aife in stealth mode?
>>5249417
I'm really sorry to hear that. I wish I could help. If it makes a difference, I think we all see/have seen ourselves as intensely ugly for the majority of our pre-transition lives. My comment on passing was meant to be with regards to the expectations society puts on us that we, in turn, internalize, but I didn't actually explain what I meant that well, so sorry.
IMO though, you should never compare yourself to the suffering of others. Just because others have it worse doesn't invalidate your struggle. We all are trying our best to make it in our own lives--I had a pretty easy time getting on mones, but there are a lot of other aspects of my life which are totally fucked. Regardless of others' suffering (which, as the Buddha says, is part of life), dysphoria sucks a big ol' donkey dick. Are you able to enroll in better health insurance that covers mental health, or is that not available in your area? Maybe look into a non region-specific plan?
>>5249444
Lol no they don't, hons are always like "passing doesn't matter just be yourself".
You're a hon.
>>5248528
enjoy the medical community exploiting your mental illness
>>5249456
cis plz go
>>5249451
Not the ones I've met, if that's the case then all the more reason not to hate hons. Thinking passing is everything is pathetic
>>5249474
Especially when millions of cis women "look like men" and thus don't "pass"
>>5249482
Yeah, if we applied the bizarre standards on this board to all women we'd end up with a whole lot of cis women who are AGP hons
>>5249484
Hey we all need encouragement sometimes! I'm glad we could be there for you when you needed it. /mtfg/ is a clusterfuck of drama tonight. And for all that we're ostensibly trying to normalize being trans, I still side a bit with Kate Bornstein and agree with you--this whole thing is weird as hell, let's embrace it and help each other :3
>>5249485
MUST BE SIZE 2 WITH POINTY CHIN AND FUCKABLE THIGH GAP OR NOFEM4U
on that note, OP's going to bed, thanks for a great discussion everyone :)
How hard is it to get prescribed hormones? Do insurance companies cover it? I haven't taken any steps yet.
>>5249608
Depends on where you are. In some places insurance is required to cover it, in other places it's not. (It's not too expensive if your insurance doesn't cover it, although that depends on how much money you have.) And in some places you can go to an "informed consent clinic" and just ask for hormones and they'll walk through the steps to properly understand the risks and run some blood tests, whereas in other places you have to spend some more time convincing the right doctors that you really do in fact have gender dysphoria. (How high their standards are can vary from place to place as well, although generally speaking therapists are more supportive than they used to be.) Some of this information is covered in the standard copypasta openings of the trans generals.
Either way though, seeing a therapist probably isn't a bad idea. As long as they're basically okay with transgender people they can be a good form of support.
>>5249676
I'm in Northern California.
I have no money right now, but might be getting a part time job soon.
Guys I've decided to keep my penis.
Sorry but I'm not very psyched about the surgery outcomes and my penis works fine and I don't hate it as much as pretty much everything else about my body.
>>5249679
It looks like California is a good place to be trans, although I'm not sure enough to go into specifics, you can Google this information just as well as I am.
>>5249114
> Blockers only
I'm sad to hear this is still a thing among endos. When will they finally learn the correct dosages?
And not the reverse? 2 mg E and 35 mg Cypro? Where do you get 35 mg Cypro, I thought it came in 50 mg and 100 mg strengths? Btw 2 mg E seems really low...
>>5249285
> Orchi
> 2-3 weeks recovery
I was up and running the day after my surgery, 3 days after I was back to work. Granted, I have a desk job, and it was painful to sit or move even with the painkillers, but 3 weeks are overrated (unless you mean recovery = being able to do whatever you did pre-op, then it's true.)
>>5248528
> How's your transition going?
Stealth mode @ 21 months, 8 months post-orchi, got a qt bf, so life is great.
[spoiler]Despite being 6'2", having lolhuge shoulders, narrow hips, and a deeper voice than the abyss, also I don't know the first thing about makeup.[/spoiler]
>>5248528
Pretty great. Life hasn't really been better. "Fully transitioned" (= had SRS some time ago, and that's the end of that), run stealth with great ease.
Even though I don't really use make up or anything. I'm just being me. Funny how life turned out, huh!
>>5250284
>unless you mean recovery = being able to do whatever you did pre-op, then it's true.
Yes, that is what I meant but I also averaged what I've read from other sources and it seems at least two weeks is the shortest for a full recovery without complications. My friend was up and walking within the same week but she couldn't go back to her job since she moves a lot for her job didn't feel comfortable so it's very YMMV.
>mfw reading about people getting fast tracked onto HRT while in a country with a year+ waiting list and RLE before hormones
how do I sneak into america without going to jail?
and congrats OP
>>5250953
>countries still doing RLE
>>5248528
Been having to wait 4 years and even then I might get rejected
Only came out to close family
Hormones expensive as fuck and not even available in my region, I'd have to travel to another district by plane
Hormone blockers aren't even a thing here in the meantime
Our surgeons are so scarce and the ones who do exist (also expensive as fuck) are so bad that a trans woman's vagina collapsed a while ago.
Been going shit yeah
>>5250953
I hear Syrian passports are like $200 on the black market.
>>5250323
You must have lucky facial genetics. Iv met 0 mtfs that didn't have clocky features
>>5250993
>waiting 4 years. Sorry but your retarded
>>5248528
every thing you wrote is cringe, wait till hrt kicks in and you become a sad sack of worthless ugliness like the rest of us
>>5248528
Totes done except for later elective things if I want and somehow have buttloads of money.
Only on algae bee tea because I'm in bed recovering from dickchopoff surgery. I never noticed feeling any different with hormone changes but fuck, not having anything is uncomfortable as hell. I can't wait to get back on the E-train.
>>5248528
I've been self-medding for two months. I called my insurance provider to recommend me a therapist for gender issues on Monday. That was because I couldn't find the ones they prefer in their directory and also to ask if I need a referral from my pediatrician to see a therapist, but I forgot that part. I got a referral from my pediatrician anyway right after the call, and told him it was for depression. He referred me to the public medical university in town (which was one of the two I was told about via phone call with insurance). I realized the reason I couldn't find mental health therapists through my insurance providers site was because they had a separate site for mental health professionals from other doctors. I didn't call them immediately because I had gone there before, and didn't want to end up with the same psychologist. I called them today because I was curious if they only had psychologists and about the number of therapists they have. They told me their therapists were booked up, and I was happy with that. So I moved on to the therapists on my insurance's site.
I don't have my own ride yet, so I have to choose one of the following. The best looking option is a psychiatrist at the Catholic hospital a ten minute walk from my college. He is gay and does family therapy too (I figure I'll need that help to come out to parents and help them adjust). My pediatrician said I should come to this hospital if the learning hospital was full. The other is a psychiatric nurse (has authority to prescribe) at the Jewish Hospital which is closer to home, but there's nothing else for me in that direction, so it's kind of out of the way. The Jewish Hospital was the first of the two I was recommended on the phone. She also doesn't do family therapy.
>>5248528
I would also prefer someone that speaks Spanish because I'm sure not being able to speak freely because of language barriers at the emotional moment I bring my parents in on my secret would be stifling to them. Plus I'm just plain sick of playing interpreter. But there's no one of that description in this town.
>>5252317
u mad
>>5253305
wow, haven't been on here much but now I understand why /mftg/ says you're a huge cunt. why post that unless you want to call attention to yourself and your low self-esteem?
>be 16
>after deep introspection realize I'm trans
>come out to closest friends
>they're all accepting
>come out to mom to see a therapist to try to get mones
>she's accepting, even though she slips up with my name/pronouns sometimes and has a really cringy way of talking about transitioning
>see therapist with the goal of getting mones first
>stop seeing therapist two months later due to lack of funds
>three months from turning 18
>start DIY
>DIY for a year
>get ma'amed in boymode like 70% of the time
>drunkenly come out to my brother, he's accepting
>a month later get them and my close friends to switch names/pronouns because they all didn't think I wanted to do that yet (LOL)
>aunt starts acting weird around me (playing with my hair [which has been long since 6th grade], complimenting me on my complexion, asking what products I use, etc)
>asks my mom "[Deadname] isn't really [deadname], is he?"
>lol nope
>"so what's her name?"
So after a year and a half of hormones, almost all the people I care about call me by my girl name, I pass decently (to the point where family members are clocking me), and everything's starting to look up. Just gotta work on my voice before I go fulltime.
>>5258904
Nice, anon. I'm happy for you
>>5248533
>implying Reinventing Axl Rose wasn't a GOAT folk punk album
>>5258927
Thanks, anon.
Despite all of that I still have really bad self image issues that I need to work on, and my voice is still a shit, but my life is better than it was, so whatever.
>>5259508
The voice isn't anything to worry about. It takes a lot of practice but you can get it there no matter how shitty you sound now
>>5259539
Yeah, I know it's all just practice, but I'm just kicking myself for being a year and a half in on hormones and barely working on my voice. I could've been fulltime for awhile if I had.
>>5259549
My mom is Linklater certified, I keep telling her she should start giving trans-specific vocal coaching. it's so much harder to teach yourself in a vacuum.
