Who /denial/ here?
You know, we hang around here and read experiences of LGBT folks, think how familiar that sounds then go back to our normal, miserable lives? It can't just be me.
>tfw don't trust own judgement to know what I am and what I want
>>5246866
Not in denial but not living "out" as gay/bi. It has more to do with my life circumstance. Just opting out of dating until I look good naked and have a better financial situation. I hear gays like tight gym bodies. And I hear twinks like money as much as Jewish women. So yeah not exactly denial. I would blast my gayness on social media all day every day if I found the qt bttm love of my life.
>wow I can really relate to pretty much every post written by trans people and timeline pictures make my chest tighten but...no, that's not me
I just haven't had that real life experience to seal the deal yet, I know I like dicks and traps, but it could be just a porn thing.
>>5246937
see i know i'm not even a pseudo-faggot like you
i've pretty much always wanted to turn, i'm just afraid of the consequences
being truly in denial means you dont think you are in denial cause that would mean that you actually are gay/trans/etc
i was deep in denial for a long ass time, and its truly the worst state to be in. every day i'd go through the craziest mental gymnastics to try and convince myself that i wasnt trans. that these thoughts dont mean anything. that i just need to get a girlfriend and then i'll stop thinking about being a girl. shit like that, constantly. i felt like i was going insane, like i was having arguments with myself, and the part of the argument that always sent shivers down my spine was "well if im not transgender, then why did i just spend like an hour convincing myself that im not?"
i dont know why i fought it so hard for so long. it seems silly now. i guess the idea that i was a normal cis guy was just so hardwired into my brain that the idea of being trans was too terrifying for my brain to accept. and even though ive accepted my fate and plunged head first into the online lgbt world, its still super hard for me. i know i wont pass very well, at least not for a while. the idea of coming out to everyone i know is still the scariest thing i can think of, even if they are all supportive.
so now here i am, spending nearly all my alone time reading /lgbt/, then continuing to live as a male in front of others. oh well at least i dress femininely now. i guess thats a start
what is this life lol fuck mee
>>5247044
I never was a normal cis guy, there's no chance of me ever being a normal cis guy, so I don't understand why I still feel like that's what I'm 'supposed' to be
I think it will be such a pain in the ass for my parents when I finally give in and transition
>>5246903
>this is probably the kind of thing I should bring up with my therapist but... no, let's not do that
>signs point to FtM
>don't want to be a tranny freak
>don't want to be a delusional tumblrina
>don't want to be a overdramatic tomboy
>don't want to be a unpleasant bulldyke
>don't want to be a short, shitty impersonation of a man
Maybe there's some other horrible flaw that makes me hate myself and anyone from wanting to be with me.
>>5246895
Yeah I would totally be someone's bitch if it meant I could maintain my neet lifestyle. Maybe if you were a cool guy our love would turn into genuine love.
>tfw becoming a wagekek soon
>>5246903
yep
i don't know what's wrong with me if I'm just agp or something
wish I just was a normal man desu
>>5246903
spoilers
you're trans
I'm going back into denial. Been on hormones for a few years, but I'm giving up as soon as my next bottle runs out. Manning the fuck up and drinking was the better option. Better than being a pathetic fucking woman (a failed one at that) anyhow. It doesn't get better. Stay in denial, OP.
>>5253199
you'll be back
>>5253199
not unless you find a good dick with a good mind you fucking failure. Just because you fucking suck at life doesn't mean op has to; stop bringing others down in life you faggot crossdressing wanna-be girl.
>>5253215
Probably not. It's over. My heart actually hurts from feeling so shitty.
I'm not in denialmode now, but I might as well dump my story of coming to terms with myself.
>be me
>freshman year
>hated having a vagina
>figured it must have just been the periods making me an angsty teen
>desire hysterectomy at the least
>be annoyed by my boobs
>figured i just hated having bigger boobs
>constantly thinking about how drastically improved my life would be if i was born a boy
>intense hatred for my birth name
>me: not trans though
>me: i'm just a tomboy
>start dressing all feminine in skirts and wearing makeup and growing out my previously short hair in a last attempt to be denialmode
>hated it
>finally come to terms with my transsexuality when i drop out of high school
>>5246866
Me 100%
Ultra Conservative Christian family.
Fuck them twinks on the dl in my room though cos they think we're just playing video games/rugby friends.
>>5253769
Noice. Noice.
Bumping because I'm sure there's more desperate conflicted losers out there.
