>want to procreate
>want to have a family
>want to have a partner who I won't get weird looks from bystanders walking with
>want to have a partner that doesn't need to clean themself and lube up before I fuck them
What makes this worse is that I'm fairly socially conservative. I view the entirety of the gay community as degenerates, I'm disgusted by flamers and faggots, but ironically I've dated them before. I feel like I don't belong here, like I shouldn't be gay because I'm so seemingly "not-gay" in my behavior, but lo and behold I'm a homo.
I can only really accept my defect as a means to view the world from a different perspective; this is all I can derive from it that's positive. The whole "liking dick" thing is a bane to my existence otherwise.
>I feel like I don't belong here, like I shouldn't be gay because I'm so seemingly "not-gay" in my behavior, but lo and behold I'm a homo.
I'm exactly like that but the opposite.
>>5243693
So you act really faggoty but your aren't a total homo?
just kill yourself
>I view the entirety of the gay community as degenerates, I'm disgusted by flamers and faggots, but ironically I've dated them before.
At least you recognize you are projecting. Have you tried accepting yourself?
Yeah, it just doesn't make me feel good about myself.
>>5243714
i act like this
desu i kinda wouldnt mind fucking a cute femboy so i guess not really but im primarily straight
You should stop being so socially conservative. It's a mentality that only really works if you're straight and white
>>5243714
Yeah. I started to have thoughts once and a while that I was gay since I was in middle school. Other students would call me gay and a sissy. I brushed it off and never gave much thought about how I acted as it was normal to me.
I'm attracted to girls, but I don't have any interest in being with one. It always felt like something I was required or expected to do. I slowly realized that other boys actually wanted to be in relationships with girls and got fulfillment out of it, and it wasn't something that happened because that's just how it is. I hope that makes sense.
I've been afraid to tell anyone IRL that I would rather be gay (how do I explain that?) I guess I just go by bi because it's easier.
>>5243685
>taking time to get your body ready for sex is a bad thing
it's not OP, straight people should shower and clean up their naughty bits beforehand as well, it's helps to prevent UTIs. Having a more tangible need to do so just means that it's that much harder to forget or let slide.
I hope the best for you, anon, and that you can come to terms with this part of you in a way that is not so self-loathing
>>5243880
>everybody wants to fuck you
>nobody wants to date you
it's like being a trap but it doesn't last as long
>ACCEPT YOURSELF OR DIE, ALL OF US HAD TO DO IT AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER OR WE TURN IN SOME MESSED UP BOTTLE OF HOMOSEXUALITY AND ANGER WHICH DIESNT END WELL SORRY FOR CAPS
>>5243685
get over it. god, i'm so sick of reading faggots bitching about other faggots being 'degenerate.'
it's even worse coming a 'str8 acting' faggot as if that honestly makes a difference. you're just as much of a faggot as the next slutty femboi.
