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FtMg: Bored Edition
Old: >>5669884
Don't forget to sage and wait to make new threads until we're at bump limit on page 9-10.
Ancient map: https://www.zeemaps.com/edit/U0Hw9yNtqrJd-qzTdbUFMw
Some info (excuse the tumblr, it's truscum): http://helpfultransinfo.tumblr.com/tags/
Skype group: add cheeki-briki or duckduckfrog
https://youtube.com/watch?v=tx1mryKqvT8
Thread theme
>>5717960
>talking shit about my man waifu
say that to my face and not online and see what happens
>>5717960
Some people like them, although I also think it's a sign of bad taste/personality disorder.
Sometimes people are just naturally like that, but generally it's superficial and disgusting.
>>5717963
You could have at least named it Living Well Edition
There's nothing more manly than a cheese plate
>>5719031
Wait, you're a ftm who can fight?
>>5716409
For extra points, use it to fuck with people. Give them a shit-eating grin that says 'yeah I was a girl now i'm a guy DEAL WITH IT'
for extra points, put on sunglasses, link arms with a hot guy and a hot girl, and walk out the front door giving middle fingers behind you
>>5719095
"say that to my face and not online and see what happens"
is one of the oldest internet jokes on the web m8. nobody who says that exact phrase is serious.
>>5719139
>>5717963
>FEMALE TO MALE
>>5717963
Another bored edition, wow. At least cheese.
Where have you(s) been recently? Anywhere cool?
>>5719808
I'm going to Disneyland next weekend
>come out as trans and start HRT
>BPDMom flips her shit
>cut off contact with the crazy
>life improves 10000%
>out of nowhere, get super girly Valentine's Day card from Mom
>ready myself to get chewed out in a fucking greeting card
>"Happy Valentine's Day, [female name]. Love, Mom."
>why.png
Seriously, why send anything? She won't talk to me (not that I want her to) and has expressed that she thinks I'd be better off dead than trans. She's been pretending I don't exist, and now this? I'm not even sure if she was intentionally trying to get under my skin or what. I wish she'd just completely leave me alone.
>>5719808
Been some relatively pretty places recently, but just around my city.
Last time I actually left it was ages ago. Thinking about going to the US, though, to visit a friend.
>>5719998
Why are you expecting people to be rational? It just seems like the person is feeling regret over the outcome of their actions and sent that thing to create contact again using the holiday as an excuse. They haven't changed their mind about anything likely, it's just buyer's remorse.
If you don't want to talk to them, don't.
>>5720124
Yeah, I know she isn't rational a lot of the time, but she still always manages to confuse and/or surprise me. The flip-flopping between "I love you, never leave me, I'm going to be super overprotective" and "I hate you, I never want to see you again, you're disinherited, I wish I hadn't had you" is, well, literally insane.
Hey, who teaches transmen how to do the head nod of male acknowledgement?
I can run a seminar if you want
>>5720363
Nobody taught me, I just started doing it at some point.
>>5719998
I fucking hate this shit. Mine says shit like "I love the sinner but hate the sin" and anytime she greets me its always in a sing-song voice "hey lady" Fucking Christ, I need to have a conversation with them and my extended family and I know I'm going to be seen as the bad guy when I take offence to the fact my grandmother and aunt are not going to respect anything about me in this situation. I'm not going to be showing my face anytime soon if that's the case. And my parents wonder why 3 out of their 4 children want nothing to do with them, clearly it's OUR fault and not my paranoid, alcoholic mother and enabling father's fault.
Ignore her until she can show you some goddamn respect. What she's hoping for is a happy make up where she doesn't have to change but you will welcome her back with a smile and gratitude. She needs to learn this is not the fucking movies.
>>5720748
Up for people you know
Down for strangers
Anyone here had/will have a hysto? Should I avoid taking T until I can afford it?
so where is everyone here in their transition? are you guys mostly pre-transition or mid-transition or what?
>>5720839
I'm taking T and have no plans on getting a hysto surgery. The chance for cancer in my family is a bit higher than usual and keeping everything down there lessens the chance for most.
>>5720839
I'm in the process of scheduling a hysto now, but I'm only getting it because of dysphoria. You don't need to avoid T if you can't afford a hysto. Most trans guys don't get one until they've been on T for at least 3-5 years, and a lot never have one at all. There's no proven link between T and cancers of the reproductive organs.
>>5720842
i'm pre everything, i think most people here are somewhere in the middle though
>>5720877
that's cool, i like your dog pic bro
>>5720842
4 months here, hoping for top surgery sometime next September. Been on 4chan since 2006, you niggers are my family :3
>>5720363
>>5720419
>>5720748
>>5720798
That's funny. I've never thought about the up/down thing before. I do naturally nod upward for people I know ("hey, what's up?") and down--more in deference--for strangers ("hello, sir/ma'am"). I've done this for as long as I can remember, and no one "taught" me to do it. I guess I probably just started mirroring what other people did to me. Also, I'm really fucking awkward, and nodding downward to strangers is a good way to avoid actually making eye contact or having to say anything.
It wasn't until my mid-20s that someone told me this was apparently a "male gesture." I thought it was just a people thing--? The guy who told me thought it was humorous that I was doing it (I was still presenting as a cis woman at that point). So, it IS a guy thing, then?
>>5720839
Eventually, I'd like to get one. I don't know when, though. I have a lot of obsessive thoughts about my uterus, and I'd really like it gone, but it's not a top priority for me at the moment. As others said, you don't need to put off starting T, though.
>>5720842
Early mid-transition. I don't pass (well, maybe as a 15-year-old femboy); I'm not sure "what" people think I am right now. T for ~1.5 months, top surgery this summer if my insurance company decides to follow the law instead of being a gigantic sack of assholes. Outlook not so good.
>>5720877
>mfw that painting (?)
>>5720842
I'm post-transition except for bottom surgery. I've been on T for 2+ years & had top surgery about a year ago. Name and gender have been legally changed for awhile & I'm mostly stealth except for old friends. Planning for a hysto this spring and phallo in the next year or two hopefully.
I'm an oldfag, been off and on 4chan since like 2004 but I post anywhere on the internet where there are trans people, I just like helping out and offering advice yanno.
>>5720842
Been on t over 1 year. I get called a guy when I talk to strangers. But when I see myself I really don't know how I pass. My chin has some hair and I practice to deepen my voice which is going real good, though.
I have approval for top surgery this spring but I'm going to wait another 2 years till I pay off my car.
I'm positive my insurance doesn't cover that kind of thing, and I am already in debt. Plus I would need 1 month off work, and my job doesn't pay for any vacation time.
It's pissing me off. I literally have the opportunity to get surgery in a few months but financially I will be fucked real hard if I do it this year.
>>5721028
If you don't mind me asking, about how long were you on T before you started passing regularly? No one really wants to give me a straight answer on other sites, it all "don't worry about passing, thats so shallow" like, naw senpai, I want to go stealth dammit
>>5721166
I started passing more than 50% of the time at ~10 months. Took me about 14 months to start passing 90%+. Once I grew a beard and got top surgery at 16 months it sealed the deal. I started off with a very round, feminine face and it took awhile for it to change significantly.
But really it's different for everyone. Some people take a long time and some people only take a few months.
>>5721187
Thanks, I've been hitting the weights and watching my diet to try and diminish my curves and so far its working, no body hair yet though : [
>>5721166
Here's the general timeline of when things happen/change on T. I lucked out by looking andro and young enough that when people I knew started calling me 'he' that new people did it without a batting an eye. Strangers went from calling me 'kid' to things like 'buddy' and 'dude' around 6 months on T when my voice cracked and my pathetic patchy face fuzz started darkening in. If you dress young you pass sooner as a teen. Also if you live in an area with a broad ethnic and age mix. God bless old black women.
![[HorribleSubs]_Osomatsu-san_-_10_[720p].mkv_snapshot_12.17_[2016.01.02_23.15.08].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/l2rm7SB.jpg "[HorribleSubs]_Osomatsu-san_-_10_[720p].mkv_snapshot_12.17_[2016.01.02_23.15.08].jpg")
>>5719031
Totty a cute, but choro is cuter.
>>5721326
Phrasing. I meant that I hate my round feminine face, not that I want to fuck your face.
>>5721344
It's okay anon, you can fuck my face if you want.
I understand tho. I hated my face too and I still do sometimes, when I see it at bad angles or when it's puffy from sleep or when I shave too much of my beard off. But it's getting better and better over time and I know that in a couple more years my dysphoria over my face will probably be gone.
I know being patient is really rough. My first year on T was absolutely the most difficult year of my life (well, maybe second most difficult, behind the year I turned 16 and first started feeling dysphoric). But my second year was heaps better and my third year is going very well too. It's corny but it gets better anon.
>>5720363
>head nod of male acknowledgement?
Literally lizard behaviour. All men confirmed reptilians.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3aEu-huoqc
>>5721312
But look at this finely dressed boy
The one worrying possibility after starting T is getting a deeper voice than my dad.
>>5722420
Why is that worrying
>>5722480
Even as a man i don't have think it would fit me, plus it would make the transition even more awkward for both of us.
I do have an ideal pitch in mind but highly doubt I'll hit that sweet spot. Anything is better than the preteen boy squawk I have now, though.
So do any of you happen to know.,
i just got my blood drawn yesterday from the vein in my arm and it was really prominent before, and you could clearly see it under the skin, and now its gone, and i can't see it at all, i've only had blood drawn 3 times from this vein
>how long until i die
>>5722629
You're already dead, this is hell.
>>5720363
I thought this was something everyone did.
>>5720748
>>5720798
Up is for people you know, but you can also use it for strangers depending on the context. You saw someone tripping, but they caught themselves and lock eyes to you when they looked around to see if anyone saw? Nod up. Asking someone for a cigarette? Up or down is acceptable, but nodding up is more personal.
>>5722628
I don't think*
My tablet never fails to make me look like (more of) a tard.
Anyway, I've felt pretty shitty for wanting to transition. I've wanted to for several years but repressed out of guilt for wanting to change my body when there's really nothing wrong with it. Every praise my family gives my "beauty" feels nice but hurts at the same time.
>>5721373
Thank you. I appreciate the encouragement (and the invitation to fuck your face, of course) and it's always good to hear that it gets better. Since I started transitioning, I've become excited about my future for the first time since childhood. Finally, good things are ahead, and my life is changing instead of stagnating in stasis like it was for the last many years. I can't believe I'm going to have facial hair. I guess I'll believe it when I see it.
>>5721373
Your bold, manly invitation to have your face fucked honestly got my dick pretty hard. Would bang/be excited for you to bang the other guy.
>>5722729
That's good, just remember to keep that excitement up. Don't forget about that feeling while you're sitting around eagerly waiting for your beard to sprout. Your life will continue changing for the next several years, and when things have settled down you'll look back and it'll all seem like it went by very quickly and easily.
>>5722820
What can I say, I aim to please. My favorite pastime in life is making guys feel better by putting stuff up their ass and doing things with their dick. So, you know, if anon needs help with face fucking, I'm happy to oblige.
>>5722654
>being this dramatic
THAT WAS MY FAVORITE VEIN
Did any of you have tattoos before going on T (or before gaining a significant amount of muscle)? I have a few, and I'm wondering if they're going to end up looking really warped after I've gained some more muscle mass, fat has redistributed, and my skin has changed somewhat. I have circular tattoos on my forearms, and I'm a bit worried that my arms are going to change shape and leave them as stretched-out ovals.
homos
>>5724168
I like the idea of this outfit. He's crossing formal and practical while adding a flamboyantly masculine touch. As I see it the key item is the khaki cargo pants. But though I like and appreciate the chunkiness of this fit--those rolled-up sleeves are great--I think the actual pants are too much in some ways. They're hanging a bit too low and the way they break on his shoes makes his feet look small. I would hem the pants just a little and taper them more below the knee. Or maybe just pull them up.
I think he's pushing it with all the accessories, but if you take away the chain you need to change the belt buckle and then everything else goes too. Idk, I don't like accessories. But at least he's not wearing a pocket watch. On that note I like the placement of the pocket square, as well as the tie that is bulging out of his vest but is subdued in color. His glasses are obviously perfect and I want to lick those shoes.
8/10
Also, please T give me that beard.
>>5724568
All I know is I want to grow up to be Professor Badass
>>5724595
I want him to kiss my forehead and bless me with his facial hair.
>>5724634
Test will give you a beard, that is a given, but a beard like that takes luck, effort and time.
>>5724644
Missed you SWG. Where you been?
>>5724763
Been lying around drunk and eating take-away. What about you my man?
I'm feeling like shit about my huge fatty thighs and ass, because they give me a really feminine shape. I would love to lose like 20 pounds right now but, since starting the "full dose" of T, I've been so fucking hungry, 24/7. I've been exercising a lot and I can see that I've built muscle, but I need to get rid of this disgusting fat. I hate myself for not being able to just not eat. Most of the time (like right now), I can barely think about anything else but food if I'm not already eating. Fuck this.
>>5724869
but anon
thick thighs make the dick rise
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOF5fM6puKw
>>5724770
Living the life
Has anyone here started T after 21-24? I'm 21 and I don't know if I'll be brave enough to start before I finish university (I'm in my first year at the moment and will finish when I'm 24).
I'm kind of worried that it'll be "too late" by then...
>>5725324
nowhere near 'too late', if such a thing exists for testosterone
i met a guy at a support group who started transitioning in his early 40s, i just thought he was a burly cis guy accompanying a trans friend or something. shit's magical
>>5725360
Cheers m8, I knew I loved Harry Potter for a reason.
How does it feel to know you'll never have a proper cock? You'll never know what its like.
You should just give up lads, desu. You're not real men and never will be. Stop trying. Live your lives to the fullest in other ways.
>>5725408
It's a private thing so it's not like anyone's going to particularly judge me for it. Personally, if T gave me an inch or two, I'd be thrilled.
>>5725408
bait/bait
>>5725400
transition late, instantly become hagrid
Testosterone (tm)
>>5722889
I just liked how bold and assertive you were about a generally submissive activity. It got my dick all excited.
>>5725444
>>5725436
It's not bait if it's true, lads.
You'll never be a man. Your sex chromosomes are XX, not XY. It's just scientific fact.
Just stop trying already. Just accept that you're female and stop clogging up hospital space and wasting the doctor's time that could be used on people with actual problems.
>>5725324
I started at 28 and I turned out fine. Living stealth right now. There's pretty much no such thing as "too late" for trans guys.
>>5725408
>>5725466
i dont care
>>5725408
I'd rather be a hairy male-looking genetic female with no cock or a forearm penis than a woman with tits and a high-pitched voice desu
>>5725466
don't tell me what to do mongoloid
>>5725324
my transition dad (the guy who gave me info and support and the courage to transition, I'm mtf) he started T when he was 22. My ex bf is ftm and he started at 23. My transition dad is 25 now, he has a pretty good beard, his voice is still a bit teenager-ish but he looks and passes as male 100%, he just doesn't look 25, but bear in mind I knew him before transition so I know him as trans. My ex, when I met him I thought he was cis. He was a cutie, I mean he was short but I thought he was cis and gay. I've seen both guys naked and jesus christ i've never seen more body or back hair on a cis guy that wasn't turkish or italian. T is nuts. proper man-pelts on both guys.
i know people say there is no 'too late' for trans guys, only too wide hips, but holy fuck, a pair of bears with chest scars, at 3 years and 5 years T respectively.
>>5725360
> if such a thing exists for testosterone
eh, yes and no, and most people would say no
Your voice won't change as nicely if you're older and on higher doses (so shit like hoarseness, loss of volume, etc are more likely). Most people don't care, but I sing a lot so I'm pretty fixated on it and kind of hoping I get over my fears and have a supportive set of circumstances sooner rather than later.
>>5725466
Wow, you can tell what my chromosomes are, even through the internet? That's pretty impressive!
hello lads
im pre anything and want to vent about something/maybe get advice. lots of talk about genitals coming up, so, trigger warning
i take way too long to cum. i would love to masturbate and cum more often, but it takes me literally like 3 hours. sometimes more sometimes less, but its safe to assume that itll take over an hour.
so, if im on my own, it gets boring/i cant stop thinking about how i could be doing something much more productive. and if im having a "phone sex" kind of thing with my gf, its obviously a big problem. shes tranny too so she understands but i feel like shit when shes being so fucking hot and its not getting me any closer for some retarded reason.
orgasming happens instantly, too... like... ill be going at it for over an hour and it feels good, but kind of the same as it has the whole time. and then i suddenly, randomly cum? nothing triggers it, theres no long build up... idk
i dont have that much conscious dysphoria on most days (im in the mindset of "welp, i have a vagina, im sad about that but thats how it is") so idk if its some kind of subconscious shit or what.
i also get insecurities about how cis men take less time than cis women. makes me feel "female" or whatever to take so long. and i know thats irrational and stupid but ;_;
basically im bad at masturbating and its really getting to me. i doubt theres any remedy but idk
btw, ive tried vibrators (felt good but felt kind of overstimulating and makes me take longer sometimes), ive tried vaginal entry stuff (feels good but it doesnt speed anything up), and im always turned on when i start.
aaah fuck this is getting so long but another thing: at the start, i can feel that my clit is physically hard, but when i start touching it, everything gets less intense and it goes soft. and it hardens up again just before orgasm. that must be related, but idk how or why the fuck touching it makes it stop being hard
o-ok sorry guys for all that shit, feels better having said it
>>5727146
You shouldn't feel bad that this is a "female" problem. I have met cis guys with similar issues. A FWB of mine takes forever to come (when he comes at all) and has trouble staying/getting hard. It's something he's been dealing with for awhile and it's just the way his body works. It definitely happens to cis guys but it's not a thing they like to talk about so you don't hear about it often.
Are you on any medications that could be having an impact on your sex life?
I do the same thing where I get bored and my mind starts wandering. It helps to have a fantasy scenario that you can play out in your head, it helps me keep my mind focused and makes the whole experience much more enjoyable.
>>5727981
>tfw pregnant
Just ordered a tittysmasher from GC2B. Any guys have experiences with them?
I've had two underworks binders in the past and they were alright.
>>5727981
>my fetish
>>5727146
Most cisguys have a couple mind blowing orgasms a year, but the buildup is part of what makes it so mindblowing. The majority of the time they get off, they just start working it harder and suddenly there's cum. Sometimes they're not really that turned on and can't cum, it can lead to a sore forearm.
I wouldn't worry about not having great orgasms from masturbation. I think for almost everyone like 90% of masturbation-induced orgasms follow a common procedure.
>>5724644
tell that to me 1 year in and absolutely no added facial hair what so ever.
>>5728395
>>5728479
>facial hair
>3-5 years
7 years in and my beard is still expanding. I'm not sure if it's the same for ftms but even in cis men, facial usually matures in your 20s-30s. When I first started growing, it was soft and whispy because it was new.
Oh also genetics. If the men in your family don't have glorious beards then you're shit out of luck.
>>5728043
Got mine. Hate it. Works only like a sports bra and my tits aren't even that big.
Good luck
>>5725408
The only one not living their life to the fullest is you here wasting time on an anonymous chinese cartoon board full of trannies
how does it feel
what tranny hurt you, my love
>>5725466
im genetically male and I believe that you're a fuccboi turd.
>>5728508
>dad apparently can't grow a decent beard
>mum's asshole father only ever grew a moustache
>dad's dad never tried
please let there be some kick-ass beard genes somewhere in the line i already have dark af body hair
>likely t scenario:
>bald twink face
>hairy as fuck bear body
Holy hell, why do ftms make some of the best looking and cute guys?
>>5728559
As a gay dude. That sounds p sexy. You think you're gone fuck with a crisp, minty chap.
And boom, surprise, it's a racoon in disguise.
Body hair is sexy. If you like men, body hair is usually a bonus.
If you like girls, you're filth anyway and don't deserve to have sex :^)
>>5728740
>not being biscum
You lose at life.
>>5728747
Ha, jokes on you, I'm balding since before I figured out my sexuality, so I have lost long since.
Unrelated but genuine question: Are ftm's more likely to be bi, gay, or straight?
>>5728690
we're obsessed with passing and thus actually pay a lot of attention to how we look
>>5728834
that explains chaz bono...
>>5729085
Chaz isn't even that bad looking since he lost weight. He gets a lot of unwarranted shit. I mean I think he's doing quite well for himself being a late transitioner.
After talking to my therapist today, I'm thinking of... quitting girl-mode? Femininity sits so poorly with me but I don't have the guts to pursue masculinity. So the idea is to distance myself from what I'm not, then from there building up what I am. If that makes sense. Rather than accepting [female/neutral/male], only accept [neutral, male] then see if I want to take just [male].
Ah, putting it like that makes it sound like "my pronouns are he/they :)" bullshit. But did anybody else have this kind of phase?
And therapist says short hair would work for me. Everyone else was probably hesitant because they think I'm trying to retain what is "pretty" when I'm not. Or she's just indulging me, either way I'll take it.
>>5729129
Many of us went through something like that. Cutting my hair short was probably one of the best decisions I made in a long time and gave me a huge confidence boost.
I'd really like to see you guys's faces after reading this thread.
>>5729118
eh i think he's unattractive... weight loss didn't change that
>>5729150
Well, he was ugly pre transition too so meh. Not everyone can win.
>>5729154
i didn't say transition made him worse... just that he's unattractive... so yeah...
>>5728823
In my experience and in all the informal surveys I've seen, most trans men are straight or bi. There are a lot of gay guys too but I think we're probably the minority sexuality.
>>5719998
your mom sounds like a cunt... just ignore it, it's the kinda crazy shit my s/o's mom does... people like that never get better, and having them in your life always makes shit worse
>>5729776
What kind of dudes do ftm's look for?
>>5729830
We're all different, just like all cis gay guys are different. Why would you think we're all attracted to the same kind of guy...
>>5724869
Hey, I know your feeling. First two months on a full dose of T all i wanted to do was fuck, eat, and sleep. Sometimes all at once. The good thing is that at about 4 months the cravings stopped. What helped me is tracking calories and if a craving started to creep up I knew I wasnt hungry, I just wanted to CONSUME.
Those dietary fiber powders that you mix in water really helped.
>>5729830
ones who prove i can trust them
>>5724869
drink tea or some v8 instead of eating food outside whatever your calorie limit is
http://strawpoll.me/6826686
>>5729830
i like guys who are more masculine than me... cis or trans... not exactly hard to find... i also have a thing for really nerdy/dorky guys... i think that shit is cute as fuck
>>5729830
personally I like:
shy twinks
thick power bottom manlets
skinny alt dudes with lots of tattoos
bearded gingers
asians with glasses
the list goes on and on honestly
>>5725408
clitoral orgasms are pretty bomb t b h
>>5729830
It's different for everyone honestly, but I'll list the kinds of guys I like
-asians
-black guys
-femboy powerbottom twinks
-emo looking dudes
>>5729947
>bearded gingers
Ey bb what's your number
>>5729917
anyone who says anorexia instead of ednos isn't truanorexic (gotta admit that ur fat, even if it's a delusion)
>>5729917
I'm a 102lbs fat anorexic I guess.
unless you're like 4'11 that qualifies as underweight i think
>>5729830
>bears/chubby hairy guys
>tall lanky guys
>unkempt trashy/sleazy men(but not fat, it's one or the other)
>silver foxes
>blonde or ginger vikings
>nerds/artsy guys so we can draw and vidya
But I'm not picky. I don't care for gym rats or feminine/flamboyant men.
>>5729989
i care about appearance but it's just not worth it if the guy turns out to be shitty. i don't fuck around basically
>>5729989
>Interesting. Pretty wide array of tastes, but always fit categories.
Well yeah, if you asked other groups of people I'm sure they'd give you categorical lists of things they're attracted to in a person.
>>5728479
yeah I get mine tested every three months.
and nah I'm on sub q injection.
my friend who is on the gel though has a glorious neck beard already and it's only been 5 months for him.
>>5728508
I don't need to worry about genetics my whole family is basically greek bears.
I'm doomed to be beardless I guess...
pure boys are so rare, you think you find one then he starts saying some reddit shit
>>5730001
Depends on the group really. I can give you several groups that don't really care about the body, face, race etc.
>>5729989
eh... there's shit i like, and am drawn to, but in reality i'm not particular... girls, guys, whatever about race etc if i like someone i like them...
>>5730036
Heh, that's an approach I like.
i need a boy who is similar enough to understand & relate to me on a deep level but also different enough to be fascinating and be unconventionally attractive
>going to swansea at the weekend
>guy i like is going to be there
shit ftmg im going to drown my feelings in chocolate ice cream because im a fucking fag
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iTtMGDO3og
>>5730058
standing w/u in unrequited faggot solidarity
Any dom FTMs interested in fucking a submissive gay cub? Never had sex w an FTM but am v interested in burly dominant men with soft skin.
>>5730058
how exactly does chocolate ice cream help anything? i get drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes, but ice cream doesn't do shit...
>>5730044
there's usually an attractive person in any given group of people so i don't see a reason to put too much weight on any type... in all honesty i don't even need to be physically attracted to someone to date them, i wasn't into my ex in that way but i liked her otherwise... i'm attracted to my s/o physically, but most of why we're together is cuz we've been friends since we were kids
>>5730121
Fuck yes. I love thick hairy guys. I'm not burly (not twinky either... just kinda average bodytype wise) but I am very dominant and my skin is baby butt smooth for your pleasure. /winku
>>5730180
...would you tie me up and put your fingers in my mouth..? ;)
>>5730192
I would put all manner of things in your mouth, anon, and call you a filthy slut while I'm at it. If you like being slapped or choked we're a match made in heaven.
>tfw guys only message me because they want boipucci
>tfw I can't find guys like you irl
>>5730218
>slapped or choked
Fuck yeah! tbqh you should just be assertive with every guy who messages you, most people have a strong submissive streak that you can coax out
>>5730269
ya'll...ya'll keep going.....
>>5727981
are you real? ftm and preg? how's it going?
Hey /ftmg/ quick question: if I'm already balding (pre-T), how is it going to get once I start T? (bad, worse, hell?) Thanks.
>>5730141
ice cream is delicious
>>5730537
That is definitely not a pregnant trans guy unless he had the best top surgeon on the planet. Also that doesn't look anything at all like a pregnant belly. That's just a fat cis guy.
>>5730692
No way to really tell for sure, unfortunately. Pre-T I had very very thin hair. After about 6 months on T my hair started getting even thinner. I started taking finasteride and it has helped slow the hair loss and even given me some regrowth. I don't think I would have gone completely bald without it, but my head would definitely be in a sorry state.
Almost everyone sees some changes to their hair: some hair thinning, a change in hairline... hard to say whether or not you'll go completely bald though. It's a very individual thing.
>>5730537
that pic was on /fit/ earlier...
>>5730723
eh personally don't care for chocolate, and rarely eat ice cream... but like what does that do for actual feelings though? you eat for like 10 minutes and then what? it doesn't alter your state of mind or make you feel less... it's about as distracting as doing almost anything... at least drugs and alcohol are a few hours and actually alter shit...
idk... i just don't get eating feelings away...
>>5730269
You know what, you're totally right. I will be more assertive with the guys that approach me from now on.
Thanks for your advice anon! /spanks you hard
>>5717963
OP what's with the cheese desu
Gay FTMs: Front? Rear? Both?
And do you have a size fetish? I've wondered if people who would want to have a cock prefer partners with big ones.
>>5730884
Not OP but cheese and crackers is an old ftmg meme
I get my first shot tomorrow.
Guys, I just can't wait to graduate from crustache to neckbeard.
>>5730884
when the board first started there was an op pic where this guy looked like he was on some other guy's shoulder... something about parrots... something about crackers... and then cheese and crackers...
idk... i'd explain it better, but i'm drunk
>>5727146
tw: masturbation / female terms??
>sift through porn until you find something supereffective
>cover entire body with lube
>start with the furthest possible sexual stimulation surrounding the clit
>massage flappity thingies
>insert only the tip of your finger rarely and slowly
>watch porn or close eyes while doing the things, pay attention to sensation or the sexual movements of the porn people.
Some people just don't orgasm often/as effectively as others, but if you think you're bad at masturbating this shit might help. It could be psychological; I can't masturbate if i'm feeling certain emotions.
You could also close your eyes and pretend that someone else is doing things to you?
>>5730983
I'm a top. So neither. And I have no size preference at all.
>>5730983
Either
No, all-around average is best desu
>>5727736
not on any meds, but its good to hear that cis males get it too. its still hard not being irrational as fuck ;_; but thanks dude. i fantasize every single time (and sometimes have my gf kinda talk out fantasies) and its super hot but yeah it doesnt seem to have any effect on finishing. probably some mental block somewhere, but i appreciate the reply.
>>5728330
its not "not having great ones," its not having them at all cause i give up cause i take too long ;-; but yeah, i dont expect much. just trying to get over some possible mental stuff (im not even sure if its there in the first place, though)
>>5731302
this made me laugh desu i like the way you typed that shit
anyway, genuine thanks for the advice. watching porn makes me dysphoric most of the time because dudes with dicks. i always play stuff out in my head (usually including me, usually me as cis but not always) and ehhh yeah. ive done stuff irl once and it was a lot faster cause another person doing stuff. but yeah, it just takes forever for me if im doing it with my hand (even if someone else is talking to me/is there)
i guess theres no real cure, i just gotta keep trying to find some things that help and figure out my problems in the first place. im not sure if its a mental block, or that i pace things wrong, or what. i feel like theres definitely something up (rather than just "i naturally take a long time") but im trying not to stress over it. was good getting thoughts from everyone else on here, so that helped.
hope you have a good day, guys
I can't fucking stand my body. It's pathetic. I can't tolerate it unless I'm high, so I'm high all the time. I don't even know how many years have gone by like this. I've finally started T, but I haven't seen any real physical changes yet (I'm only about 2 months in). I wish I could afford extensive plastic surgery, or just not have a body. That would be nice.
>>5731302
>flappity thingies
I have a new favourite term.
>>5729129
I did this too, when presenting as feminine I was pretty convincing at it but it left a terrible taste in my mouth, so I decided to pursue an "androgynous" look (neutral/male), it made me feel so much more confident and free, at first.
Now I'm pretty sure I'm full trans and am planning to seek medical help/therapy soon to explore the idea of transition.
I think it's an important step in self-discovery. Some transboys were able to be pretty masculine from a young age, but many (including myself) tried to present as a feminine girl during puberty, because that's what is expected and praised by society.
I actually thought for a long time that I wasn't trans because I enjoyed being "pretty" but after cutting my hair and presenting a more neutral gender expression, I realised it had nothing to do with being pretty at all, I just enjoyed looking "attractive" to other people (which is, obviously, completely normal) but after dropping the feminine thing, I found that the uncomfortable feeling that used to come with "looking good" was lessened greatly. And I got a much bigger high when people said that they thought I looked "handsome" or even just "hot" while presenting neutral/male than I ever did with my feminine presentation.
I think this is what gave me the guts to pursue masculinity. I was always afraid that I would like a freak, a chubby girl with a thyroid problem that gave her facial hair, or just plainly a dyke that was desperately trying to look butch.
But after cutting my hair and switching up my clothes... those worries sort of fell away? The boost I got from feeling more at home in myself enabled me to see things more clearly, push the fear aside and realise that I could do the masculine thing and look fine lol.
tl;dr you never know until you try, you'll probably find you feel much better after ditching the girl shit
>>5729129
Yeah. Also "non-binary transgender"/"non binary transmasculine" people who have dysphoria but don't have the personality to pursue full on masculinity exist. They can sometimes have different types of dysphoria than binary trans people. There's no shame in identifying as it, or even using such a label as a jumping off point for your own personal discovery. Tumblr blew gender into ridiculous proportions, but don't confuse these things.
>>5729830
>appreciates art
>psychonaut, avoids all other drugs
>nature fetishist
>will let me fuck them in the ass
>>5731710
You're not pathetic, you're suffering and haven't found a good way to deal with it yet. The mind and body are so interconnected it's hard to separate the both and focus on the positive. Once you hit the year mark things will be a lot better. Just hang in there, anon.
Do pets treat you any different when you start T?
Pick my name :')
Both are equally as common for my birth year where I live.
http://strawpoll.me/6831817
>>5721166
I was passing a majority of the time pretty soon after starting T. Passed 50% of the time before T. *shrug*
>>5732555
Thank you kind anon. I'm planning on spending most of this year holed up in my apartment, exercising and working (thank god for telecommuting positions). I'm desperately hoping that, at the end of a year or so, I'll feel at least a bit more confident about and OK with my body. I just keep having stupid, obsessive thoughts that T is somehow "not going to work," I guess because I haven't seen really visible changes yet.
>>5732704
>http://strawpoll.me/6831817
both suck as bad as an aidyn name.
>>5732704
>picking a name with DAME in it
Is that like a ftm version of aMANda or SaMANtha?
>>5732704
Both spellings are nigger names
>>5732704
Yikes. Why can't you be something more normal like David?
>>5732704
Get a name that isn't edgy desu
>>5732704
I think regardless of spelling, its a pretty good name, fwiw
There's these guys who call themselves 'damian'/'damien' because they think it is related to 'demon', who wear black and pretend they know stuff about mystical whatever, and invariably come from and go back to being middle-class white christian.
Always disliked the name due to those guys.
>>5732774
Lol. I've thought of this before.
>>5732805
Hah, i'm italian.
>>5732807
Unfortunately, the name of my cousin and one of my close friends. My brother's name is Dan.
>>5733087
>>5733387
Yeah, The Omen (movie) attached a lot of connotations to this name, but I don't think most people would associate in relation to my face.
I tried to go with the name closest to my current name in sound and structure, but then I sort of thought the e would be good since my sister + father have multiple e's in their names, and my last name has an m so Damian/Damien flows better than my current name. My three closest friends, my dad and grandfather on mom's side have m's in their names, 3/5 of them start with m.
Name psychology:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQaD-JQkJWw
>>5732704
You should pick a better name like Qaidyn or Skylar.
>>5733531
If his last name is Nukem, he could go with Duke.
>>5732704
Its the same fucking name
>>5733387
There was a thread the other day for trans names, and the amount of us who picked the shittiest names(yes there was even a Skyler/Skylar) is ridiculous.
>>5732621
No but a dog outed me once.
>be in petsmart
>random dog runs up to me all happy
>owners come by
>"wow thats amazing.. he usually hates guys."
>>5732704
What ever happened to John
>>5733642
John is a crap name. There's a reason it's declining in popularity as time goes on. The sound doesn't fit modern english, and it is far too everyman.
Plus if you're ftm and you pick it, it really comes across like you're trying to hide.
>>5733618
Being good with kids and animals is a pretty attractive trait anon, use it to pick up chicks.
>>5732805
i've only known hispanics with that name... and more like i've known a specific type of hispanic chick who thinks it's a good name for their son not so much in the 15 year old + age range...
no black people ever though...
>>5732621
it probably depends on the animal... like i imagine dogs are the weirdest about it cuz it changes the way you smell... but i have a friend who's a transchick who said her cats acted a little weird for a bit then chilled out
>>5732122
I want to present myself in a neutral/male way but I don't know how to do that without just looking like an unkempt girl. How the fuck am I meant to groom to pull off andro or a half-decent boy-mode? If I cut my hair short and don't bother to shave my legs, I'd probably just look like a nasty-ass political feminist. Not like I present in a feminine way anyway, more "obvious tomboy but still a girl". I'm more in a "grudgingly female but not a girl" stage.
>>5732178
That's sort of how my therapist was putting it., though subbing in a "boy" identity for a non-binary one. I don't have the stamps on my Man Card to count for masculinity but I can't deal with Girl Club anymore.
>>5733673
I'm great with kids and animals. Despite I actually hate kids.. Even in stealthmode I still seem to be the one everyone goes to for babysitting.
I met my now ex-gf when I was like 15 using a pig. It was my friend's and I took it for a walk.
>>5733710
'Andro' is typically slim, short hair, clean skin, form fittingish clothes that are feminine boy clothes, you know.
>>5733724
How can you hate kids. They're small, easily tricked humans. You can have huge amounts of entertainment simply by having them around the place. Easy to understand and be in charge of, unlike 99% of adults.
>>5733724
kids always like me, but i'm not a huge fan of them either... my niece has grown on me a bit, but i can't imagine just like... being stuck with her all the time and having to take care of her and shit... it's one thing to chill on the couch and play guitar for her for a bit, or like play with her baby piano with her on the floor... but like everything else seems a bit intense
no one asks me to babysit though thankfully, probably cuz they don't expect me to be sober long enough to do it honestly...
>>5733666
>it is far too everyman
fuckin snowflake
>>5733841
>wanting your name to be the most common name in the entire english speaking world
Boring as fuck.
>>5733757
I love them in small doses. I do have fun babysitting because I can entertain them with the simplest shit and I feel really bad for some of the kids I've babysat because they were so attention starved and their parents act like they are nightmares but they chill the fuck out into angels once they burn off the energy. But living with them is a nightmare. I can't stand constant screaming, being bothered, running around, etc. I need to be left the fuck alone.
I won't even get started on babies. I've had people just hand me their babies and be expected to take care of them for awhile and I only know how to take care of them because I have 3 siblings. With kids I can at least have a conversation with but babies are so useless and annoying. I just want them to put them in a closet and take a nap.
Also I think I'm a terrible influence since I have the mouth of sailor and I think it's hilarious convincing children shit like cats grow up to be dogs.
On top of all this, I'm terrified of kids now that I'm stealth. Last year when I was working I found some 2-3 year old in the parking lot throwing and running after a ball(it was very, very busy) so I grabbed his ball and lured him out of traffic. I didn't touch him and just sort of stood around looking for someone who has misplaced this tiny human and from almost across the complete parking I see this lady calling for him, obviously not knowing where he was and runs over flipping out at me and calling me a pedo and shit. I fucking hate that I feel like I can't so much as look in the general direction of a kid without feeling like a creep.
>>5733874
If you're american, most of the rest of the world is not quite so uh. Insane? About children. The general assumption is not that you're a pedophile, swearing around them is not a taboo but rather minorly bad, convincing them of stupid stuff is considered perfectly reasonable, etc. Americans on the whole seem very convinced that the entire world is the same as them regarding this stuff and all the things they do are innate to humanity but this is not the case, it is just cultural to the USA and nowhere else. Like some places have a lot of paranoia/fear like the USA does, but they nearly universally also have hugely enforced politeness. Only in the US have I seen people be so hyperparanoid and also rude enough to act like huge assholes about it.
As for caring for kids, it's ideally something you do with at least one other person because it's exhausting and annoying, like a full time job but you don't want to do the whole thing. It works best with 3-5 people sharing it on and off, which generally only happens when a few kids get old enough to help take care of the other kids. Why I feel like if you're going to be raising small kids society should be set up so you have other people around to share the load with, used to be neighbours/family but these days first world countries don't really do that anymore.
The lack of shared institutional knowledge is really obvious, these parents (usually who didn't take care of other kids when they were kids) just have no idea how to treat their children and give them toys and no attention, usually while both working, and just leaving the kids with no-one raising them but daycare people and teachers. Compared to that someone who actually plays with and talks to the children is vastly superior, 'mouth of a sailor' or not(and trying to hide things like swearing or the existence of sex from children never works and fucks them up in the head, child psychology says just tell them but don't go into detail).
>>5733891
His brother's name is Daniel. Two siblings both named Daniel is fucking weird.
My advice is pick something you like the sound of, that you say it a bunch of times and it sounds better rather than worse. That's how you identify a good name - it sounds better when you say it a bunch (aka over time), instead of sounding worn out or alien or worse.
>>5733856
Why don't you just pick the male version of your birth name? Wouldn't it be weird to have a completely different name?
>>5734136
That's what I'm doing, Nicole to Nicholas. I liked Nicole, so I don't really want to change it much. It seems like most people pick an entirely new name, though. I might be wrong about that, I don't know.
>>5734140
it's probably just about being removed completely from the name they feel uncomfortable with...which makes sense if it bothers them to have that attachment
i got lucky and didn't have to pick a name at all, before he died my grandpa had a stroke started calling me a different name and it stuck... i think naming myself would've been awkward
>>5734140
>Fellow Nicole to Nicholas
>>5734154
Yeah, that makes sense. When I legally change my name, I'm going to change my last name (it's really distinctive).
>>5734202
Well hello there
>>5734296
yeah i'm actually doing the same cuz my last name is too, like to the point where when i've looked it up on social media sites i only find people related to me... i've told my s/o i'd just take his when we get married though cuz his is way more common (jones)
>>5734136
The male version of my birth name is just my birth name.
If you have different names for stuff (i've tried it out, as I know people in different ways) you quickly shed name-identity and start having identity-identity, which is in many ways better.
>>5734325
>telling friend about gender crisis
>he says he'll kill me if I pick the masculinised version of my name
>he's obviously kidding but still
>scares the shit outta me because frazzled nerves
I'm trying to ease myself into this, can't handle jokes about what I will or won't change my name to. The masculinised version is unusual and shitty anyway.
>>5734379
>5734379
What is it.
Just realize that you can use a name without being chained to it. If it genuinely isn't working, you can change it, although if you change it a bunch your friends will get annoyed. Your nominative identifier is an important thing, even if it is not, as people mistakenly believe, your actual identity.
Also pick one that sounds cool so you can more easily get laid. And defrazzle your nerves, very few people (like me) are attracted to it, most people like calm, cool, collected guys. Meditation is good, as is exercise, for that. And actively denying fear - when you start to feel scared about whatever, just tell it to fuck off, like actually talk to it, call it names, go do the thing you're scared of, etc.
>>5734427
Just call yourself Julius. If anyone asks, it's a nickname, as your actual name is 'Caesar'. Then admit that even that isn't your real name, it's actually Diometrius Agnaeus Claudia. Then just say well actually it's Dave, I just dislike it.
And no-one will ever question that you are a Dave after that. Because all Daves hate being Daves.
>>5734459
If you can't turn something silly like that into a joke and make people laugh with it, protip, you're socially awkward enough that people will find you obnoxious anyway. (ellipsis)
>>5734501
eh people like me in spite of me being annoying, but i'm saying that kinda shit would turn me off from someone cuz it's more stupid and weird than funny... i'm actually not socially awkward so yeah...
>>5734505
+ if i met someone and they introduced themselves like that i'd probably think they were retarded, had a shit sense of humour, and thought they were "quirky and random"
>>5734404
Laurence. It's so bad.
I hated my name as a kid but could never think of a better one. Though brainstorming male names, there are some ones I do like the sound of.
>>5734533
>>5734533
yeah, laurence is kinda shitty, and shortening it to larry isn't any better...
>>5734505
>>5734519
>actually not socially awkward
Would think exact opposite from how you post. At best, stoner style social skills.
> introduced themselves like that
Yeah, you just blurt it out exactly as I wrote it, all at once, the first time you meet someone. That's definitely what I was suggesting and what anyone would think upon reading it.
>>5734136
Not that anon but I wouldn't want to have a name too close to my girlmode name. Doing that can get people more easily confused or give them excuses to call you your birth name
plus a lot of names don't have a male version
>>5733666
I picked John...I like that its unfashionable, and it's not strongly associated with any one person. Also anything resembling my birth name sounds gross (fucking L-names)
>>5734565
yeah, don't really care what you would think... talking on 4chan and actually being around someone physically is pretty different
that should go without saying, but i guess it doesn't...
like i said, comes off like you've got a shit sense of humour... suppose it's subjective, but trying to be funny and actually being funny are different things
clearly you and i probably wouldn't get along well
>>5734642
+ i'm sure i do come off like a stoner, at least a bit, i am... but to me that shit just translated into "watches too much anime, tries to hard, avoid for more than just shooting shit to kill boredom"
>>5734652
too* my bad
>>5734427
>>AlejANDRO
>I'm struggling.
i;m laughing
Dear ftmg, I have a confession. I secretly wish my girlfriend would transition. Does that make me a bad person for wishing transness on someone? She'd make a really hot guy and I don't think she's happy as a woman...
>>5734730
>Does that make me a bad person
lol I don't know.
But, just a couple of hours ago I was at the grocery store and saw a Pakistani girl with amazing bone structure and dark facial fuzz, and my immediate first thought was "damn she would make a hot dude".
And I'm mostly straight. But I've got transition stuck on the brain these days, having just started T.
I kind of want to see. I want to see what people would look like if they transitioned. I wish everybody had an "identical" twin of the other sex.
>>5734730
why would it?
>>5734730
You're a bad person for doing things, not thinking them.
>>5734850
yeah, but it's not like you're wishing the shit uncomfortable parts of it on her, you just think she'd be a hot guy... sounds more like a fantasy thing than anything, maybe you should tell her it'd be hot if she crossdressed for you
>>5734404
>Also pick one that sounds cool so you can more easily get laid.
This. I picked a very unusual but not-trans-sounding name and while it hasn't gotten me laid yet I get so many compliments on it. Everyone I meet tells me my name is unique/beautiful/memorable/etc. I have a rare last name too, I'm pretty sure I'm the only person with my name to have ever lived. Feels cool man
>>5734971
I wanna fuck you already. What is it?
>>5734992
>>5734999
I won't give you my name because honestly you could probably figure out who I am from it lol. But I will say that it sounds very similar to my birth name, which was Catherine. I found it in an old baby name book from the 80s that my parents used to name me. Apparently it's more popular in the UK than in the US.
>>5735023
Negatory, I live in the US. But the only people I find when I google my first name are from the UK, and British people are the only ones who immediately know how to pronounce it correctly so I'm just assuming lol.
>>5735037
is it a weird ass welshie name becuase i picked a welsh name and hoo boy do some people pronounce it weird
>>5735043
Nah. Apparently it was originally a family name in ancient Rome. Welshie names are cool, I tend to like female Welsh names better than male ones tho.
My last name is long and very Italian, I get some really interesting pronunciations and misspellings on it...
>>5735084
i went to school with a girl who had a surname with a shitload of z's and ch's (i think it was polish) and watching teachers pronounce it was a delight. it was actually pronounced "roh-man-chuh-gav-ich" but there were some that were like "rowz-an-kskuh-zjah-eek?" when they tried
my birth name got mispronounced to fuck so even if people say my name wrong im used to it.
>remove hoodie
>binder shifts
>not appropriate time to put hand up shirt and reorganise things
I really don't know how to handle this shit anymore. I've come out to all the important people in my life and my coworkers. While I don't expect any of them to start using male pronouns or my male name (yet), I've gone into detail to most of them about how much all the girly shit, girly "pet" names, or just making comments about that shit in general bothers me, but they all STILL fucking do it, I may as well have not said a single thing. I don't want to be that person who constantly has an issue with shit people say, and I'm grateful for how well everyone, for the most part, has taken this whole thing, but I feel like literally no one is taking it at all seriously and it's really getting under my skin.
It's like until I actually start hormones (which will be happening within the next few months hopefully), it's not going to happen. I don't even look particularly female or behave female, but I still get that shit thrown at me as if people expect me to like it.
I get they're cis, and I get a lot of it will probably go over their heads, but jesus christ I can't help but feel like shit.
I really needed to vent.
>>5735757
its all right they are dumb and you are awesome for being brave. I hope to have the courage to go as far as you have already.
>>5735757
>all the girly shit, girly "pet" names
example?
>>5735776
>>troll fail
>>5735757
You need to do something about it, dude. Intentional or no, these people are making you feel crap when they should know better. Now, do you want to be polite about it or do you want to put your fucking foot down?
>>5735776
Using even more feminine or cutesy versions of my birth name, calling me shit like "girl" (that happens way too damn often, I have no idea why). Just shit like that in general. I seriously have no damn clue why. Maybe I'm just around way too many women or something, I don't know.
>>5735785
I know you're right. It's just hard to want to be pushy about it when I know trans people who've come out and have gotten completely disowned by the people they thought loved them. I feel like I'd be a massive faggot to complain about this shit when almost everyone took it well and accepting for me.
>>5735800
it's something you have to be pretty outright about your intentions with, in fact you may well want to request usage of male name and pronouns fairly soon since you've come out and all
i found this easier with coworkers, since it's a structured work environment (i went to management before i released that to my general workplace, helps having the support of higher-ups)...also depending where you live, it may well be within your legal rights for them to provide a supportive workplace
friends and family are a little harder, since they take it personally, but you do really have to put your foot down-basically say, look, this is incredibly important for me, put up or shut up
>>5735800
Like the other guy said, it requires a degree of bluntness.
>do you remember when i told you about the "not treating me like a girl" thing?
>i'll be honest, it doesn't feel like anything has changed
>is there a problem you didn't tell me about before? because i really need you to be honest with me here
I'm a big fan of politely shaming people, you might be able to tell.
>>5735757
if something is important to you, then you need to say as much... if you feel uncomfortable then you need to tell people... you don't gotta be confrontational about it, but if someone says something you don't like just point out that you talked to them about it, and remind them... you don't have to just quietly be uncomfortable all the time, and it's not like you're necessarily making a big deal out of it just by reiterating shit....
sometimes people just fall into old habits cuz it's what they're used to, they don't necessarily mean anything bad by it, but adjusting to something new after years can take time you know? and being reminded or corrected isn't a bad thing... i mean, if i cared about or liked someone and i kept accidentally doing something that made them uncomfortable i wouldn't care if they pointed it out so i could make a note of it and fix my behaviour to make them happy and comfortable... knowing something and getting used to it are two different things, and it's ok to let people know what is and isn't fine with you
besides it's better to get them used to it now if you're gonna be on hormones in a few months cuz as you transition it's just gonna be more weird, awkward, and uncomfortable if they slip up anyway
People often go really overboard with asserting a trans person's (supposed) femininity/masculinity when they first come out because people are conditioned to reinforce the gender binary. It's probably not malicious or even intentional, but these things are so ingrained that people go into denial and try to protect their worldview over respecting the trans person's desires. It's shitty and invalidating, but I think the best way to deal with it is to remind people to be mindful, and acknowledge that it isn't an easy shift for anyone but it will make you a lot more comfortable if they could put in the effort. If they blow up at you about it, that's just a further manifestation of their denial and privileging of their emotional comfort as a cis person over yours as a trans person. Be patient and work with people, and if they end up being irreconcilably shitty about it, well, you're going to have to make peace with people exiting your life as a trans person sooner or later anyway.
>>5732621
Yea. Had to sell my rescue macaws.
>>5736222
why? what happened?
Sorry /ftmg/ I'm going to sadpost
I fucked up so bad, I had a choice to make and I chose wrong (well, everyone tells me I chose right, but it feels wrong as hell). I don't know if I can live with myself. I had someone and we had something really special and I ruined it. I tried to just not be trans. I tried so hard, and I failed. Now, I'm alone, and this is what I deserve. I chose this. I'm a fucking idiot. I feel like I chopped off a limb. It hurts, and I chose this, and I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me that causes me to sabotage everything in my life that goes well.
I'm a piece of shit and I'm tired of being a piece of shit. I wish I could just go live innawoods and not be around other people. I'm sick of fucking up but I don't seem to be able to stop.
The only time I really feel okay is when I'm walking. The other day, I walked eight miles. I could have just kept going. I'm so fucking sick of myself and the mess I've made of my life that I'm starting to fantasize about packing a backpack and just walking off. I don't think I especially want to live anymore, but I'm at the point where I've stopped caring about a lot of things. I've started saying "fuck it" and doing things I never would have done before, and not in a fun, bucket list-type way.
I just want to Control-Z the last year and a half and do it over. I could do better. I might even be able to make things turn out OK. But I'll never get that chance, and it's killing me. I lost something I can't get back.
TL;DR
BAWWW I SAD
>>5736338
What makes you so sure that repressing being trans for another person would have worked out in the long run? Chances are it would have bitten you in the ass FAR worse later on.
>>5736338
One thing I've learned as I've grown older, anon, is that 9 times out of 10 there is no perfect solution. There is one choice, and there is another choice, and usually they are both kinda shitty in their own ways. That's what the word "choice" means: doing the best we can with what we have at the time. Sometimes this turns out to be not enough. Usually, this is by no fault of our own. That's just how life works, and living is about learning to deal with the gaps between the choice you made and the choice you would have liked to make in a perfect world.
That said: if the "choice" you're talking about is choosing to transition/being trans, you didn't choose that, and I think you know it. I'm hearing a lot of self-hatred in your post, anon. When I used to say the things you're saying here, I wasn't saying them because I had evidence that they were true: I was saying them because I wanted to hurt myself.
You're allowed the things you're feeling right now. You're allowed to grieve your loss, and you're allowed to want to hurt yourself for letting yourself down, even if it wasn't really your fault. But if you really want to stop feeling like a piece of shit you have to give yourself some leeway. You have to take a truly objective look at yourself and stop piling on the accusations, the insults, and the self-pity.
Be a man about this shit, dude. That doesn't mean you have to toughen up and stop feeling: it means you have to be responsible about your feelings and totally and completely real with yourself about your life.
>>5736338
you can't force yourself to be someone you're not, not for someone else and shit not even for yourself... i know what it's like to try hard to not be trans, a lot of people do... and it's part of you, doesn't go away even if you wish it would, but that doesn't mean everything about you is defective or some shit...
i know right now shit's still fresh, and you can't see it, but give yourself some time to be yourself and find someone who loves you for who you are rather than who you're pretending to be... you'll feel a lot better having that than you would've if you stayed... you just can't see it
the kinda misery not being yourself for years on end can cause is pretty fucking devastating, i would know... i'm 29 and this shit's been untreated, not cuz i've hid it or haven't attempted just life and circumstance... and granted that's not the only thing wrong in my life, but it was a big part of why i tried to kill myself a few years back, and it's part of why i think about it constantly still... shit about a week ago i was ready to just off myself... ended up downing some codeine instead, but you know... shit happens
my point is, leaving dysphoria untreated for years isn't exactly a fucking road to happiness, and i get that you're hurting break ups fucking suck... but if you couldn't be yourself and have a relationship with them that's not exactly a good sign that shit's meant to be...
you aren't a piece of shit for being unable to hide yourself... and you aren't a piece of shit for being trans either... you just need some time to realize that, for now though just... do what you gotta to make yourself feel better and let some time pass...
sometimes shit feels fucking horrible, and then a year later you're in a different place and you realize if things had gone the way you thought you wanted them to you'd probably be fucking miserable...
>>5736455
>>5736456
>>5736487
Thank you, and sorry for whining. I think I got it out of my system. I'm trying to keep telling myself that I'm doing the right thing in taking care of myself, but I can't even think about "what I did" (leaving my relationship) without wanting to die. I still have a long way to go in terms of moving on, accepting myself, and growing the fuck up. I've spent so long pretending to be or trying to force myself to be someone else that I'm not really sure who I even am or what I'm going to do.
>>5735016
Wait, please tell me your first name, my birth name is Katherine (everyone calls me Kate though) and I've been struggling a lot to find a male equivalent, I want it to be as close to my birth name as possible.
>>5733710
I'm not sure desu, some days I look at myself in the mirror and think I look like a cute twink and other days I think I end up looking like a short, stubby dyke.
It's all about styling really? eg. don't just have short hair, style it every day. Wash your face regularly so you have fresh, clear skin. Where fashionable masc. clothes instead of just whatever "non-feminine" rubbish you have in the back of your wardrobe.
It's also about confidence and how you hold yourself in my opinion. If you see yourself in your head a qt3.14 andro, you're more likely to come across as that. If you walk around hunched over yourself, trying to to hide away from looking like a dyke, you'll just end up looking like an introvert lesbian.
> literally linking tumblr in your general
I knew all you bitches were a bunch of demi-girl special snowflake-kin from the start
