This is the Trans Help General thread. We'll try to help you here with everything related to being transgender.
This includes questioning, appearance, daily trans problems, medical info, general info and other interesting stuff to name a few.
MTF, FTM and questioning people are all welcome here to help eachother and discuss possible solutions.
You can also share your transgender related stories here. Just came out? Or you just need to get something off your chest?
Maybe something wonderful happened today! We'll be glad to hear it, it's always good to know we're not going through this alone.
Links:
Articles, Studies and General information about Questioning, Transitioning and other stuff: http://pastebin.com/CyW1dXV8
Lots of useful links about/for transgender people: http://pastebin.com/h1vLPxyV
Transgender FAQ: http://pastebin.com/8QbKyShU
Am i trans/ trans help threads archive:
http://archive.loveisover.me/lgbt/search/text/trans%20help%20general%20%23/username/annicole/type/op/
Therapists: http://www.t-vox.org/index.php?title=Therapists_by_region
http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php
sort by transsexual issues
What will hormones do?
mtf: http://imgur.com/lDBLSVR
ftm: http://imgur.com/HqTqvJg
Previous thread: >>5141815
Im not sure if im trans or not. I've had thoughts about it, but its usually only when im horny. Ive been trying to dress a BIT more andro at least (if you can count wearing long stockings on a daily basis andro), and im thinking about it when im not horny nowadays. I dont know how i could keep my job if i did, not sure how they'd react.
Okay, I have a couple questions for you other mtfs. Maybe you all can help me figure out where the fuck to go.
1. Where the fuck am I supposed to buy androgynous clothes? This shit is like a vicious circle
>Want to dress andro to go buy more feminine stuff without feeling awkward
>Can't find any places to buy andro clothes while in guymode
Do I order online? Are there any stores that have good gender-neutral clothes?
2. Makeup. I need to be able to cover my 5oclock for a while since I cant get laser done right now for a few reasons. Where could I go to explain it? I'm the pastiest, whitest motherfucker you've ever met.
>tfw you want opinions on if you'll need FFS but you don't have a half-decent camera
>>5191952
I totally know the first feel. I personally get all my clothes from thrift stores, a little makeup goes a long way in that part.
>>5188780
>>5192258
How long have you had dysphoria?
Is there any way to quickly psychologically grill yourself to test if you are gender dysphoric or not? Say, over the course of a year?
I'm 20, going on 21 and I want to make sure my intense desire to be a girl in dresses and make-up and daily panic attacks is NOT just a phase before the 'mones stop working
>>5192595
Yeah it's called go to a therapist
>>5192800
Word, sounds good.
Fuck this business is so depressing. Hopefully in the future we'll just have transformation machines that literally turn you into a girl version of yourself at any age.
>>5192843
nah it'll be head transplants between ftms and mtfs
>>5192849
How you look regardless of your dimorphic traits is a significant part of your personality though. Unless your dysphoria is bad enough that you'd accept an entirely different body.
>>5192949
>Unless your dysphoria is bad enough that you'd accept an entirely different body.
Really I don't know why you wouldn't. I don't like this body
>>5192949
nah fuck this shit. i'd take a new body any day. i'd take a pill to make me like this one too.
I'm slowly but surely progressing towards becoming full-time, but I'm getting cold feet again.
I think it'd make things a lot less confusing to change my name legally by now, but at the same time it feels like a really big step.
I had the same nervousness when I felt it was time to come out to my friends and family, as well as the first time I went out in public.
It's scary and I don't know what's waiting for me on the other side of the tunnel.
I'm terrified that I won't be happy.
>>5192261
It's....difficult to say. I'm not sure I would recognize it if I did.
I recall times when I was little, having dreams (or daydreams, unsure) that someone would come and either dress me like or make me a girl (my memory is unclear which), but it's not like I've ever felt "yes! I am a girl why doesn't anyone recognize this!"
I didn't discover masturbation until I was 16, and I always felt detached from how I perceived most boys' relationships with sexuality. I remember elements of AGP always being present to some degree, though it was fairly weak at the start and has only grown stronger.
I started going through entries in my journal that I started writing in about 6 years ago (I'm now 24). I found the first mention about two years ago, although this is only from searching for terms because the document is 125k+ words, so I might have missed things. Anyway, it seems to really have started occupying a large amount of my thoughts a year ago, because yeah I'm really writing a lot about it then. I write stuff ranging from
>it's a fetish, it sucks, but you can probably be ok just being a feminine guy
>it's really shitty I can't be a girl. I just want to be one
>it's sexual partially but there's definitely a non-sexual component
>it's really upsetting I'll never be able to actually fit well in these girl clothes
and a lot of stuff about how these thoughts are plaguing me and I wish they would go away. Some mention of wording I used in the past being possible first inklings of them
>these descriptions of having an unknown feeling about girls, lots of different ones – interests, desires?, infatuations. Could this have been my wanting to be them, not as much wanting them?
1/2
>>5192261
>>5193264
By January I'm writing lots of shit about this stuff, by February I've ordered an epilator and womens' clothes, by March I've started seeing a therapist that never helped me. I get high and feel feminine and post on these threads.
Fast forward and I get drunk and order hormones one night and start taking them. Just shy of 3 weeks in I take psilocybin for the purpose of self-discovery and come so close to determining I am trans, but stop myself, but come out of the experience thinking so. I think I understand the feeling of happiness for the first time in at least a very long time. A week later I get high and the whole girl thing feels off and I write that post.
The exhaustion I feel is from merely this entire thinking process that occupies me, and is inherently different I think than the exhaustion people feel from not being their desired sex.
And so here I am now, having trouble focusing on my work while perusing /lgbt/ desperately looking for some kind of insight that will finally release me from these thoughts that chain me. Sounds like an edgy teenager I guess but at least they get satisfaction out of writing things down, while I get none, only writing in for the .0001% chance that I finally find what I need.
Don't feel obligated to respond I guess. When you're hanging off the edge of a cliff you'll grab the ankle of the first person to get near, but you can't demand they pull you up.
2/2
>>5192595
>intense desire
>daily panic attacks
You can be pretty damn certain that it's not just a "phase"
Having a fem voice as well would be really nice which brings me to my question, does anyone have alternates to the voice training? I've been trying to practice my voice for around 4 months and have had no progress whatsoever with the "just get it lol" strategy posted in the MTF general and the other link is only for after you've 'gotten it'.
>>5192949
Most depressing part about being mtf to me is that I'll never have actual female body parts, the medical science just isn't far enough yet to grow me a vagina with stemcells or something. I'd swap brains to a girls body anyday even though it'd be extremely disorienting at start, would solve the voice conundrum as well.
>>5193328
What I do is I talk with my friends on mumble and have my computer play back my voice for me on a ten second delay, so I get instant feedback in an actual conversational setting. On top of that I do basic singing exercises you'd do to increase your range. Then, the hardest part is making sure the resonance, not just the pitch, on the vowels sound right. I read passages out loud and record them and also do vocal chord exercises with vowel sounds and try to make sure a clear, feminine tone comes out
>>5193306
You might be right, although I still feel weird about it. Why would it take me 22 years? How would I make it through school and college? I mean I was NEET for two years during that time, maybe I was just some deluded loner. Or maybe it was just the first time I had time to really think.
But then I can't say that I've been terribly feminine in general, and the constant thoughts are less "I want to be a girl I want to be a girl I want to be a girl" and more "why am I thinking about wanting to be a girl it really doesn't make sense why am I thinking about wanting to be a girl it really doesn't make sense"
>>5193338
That's stuff to do after you get at least a higher pitch. I have the same stupid nasal voice I've always had and I'm too self-aware to use it with friends so I use the skype setup test call for the lack of a better alternative. Mumble doesn't let you record without a server, otherwise I could use that.
>>5193614
I dunno, higher pitch seems like the easy part to me. Just like, talk in falsetto, then bring your voice down back to normal and you'll be speaking in a high range. Keep in mind it'll be cartoonishly exaggerated at first, I think the best thing to do is to shoot for very exaggerated and then slowly work it down to a more natural voice
>>5193614
use audacity
>>5193677
I'm not much of a talker let alone singer so I can't do a falsetto, not even close. When I try to go higher in pitch my voice just goes fainter and even more nasal, my larynx or whatever the fuck the throat lump is called stays completely still.
>>5193684
Thanks. I can't believe I didn't figure to use that myself.
>>5191952
Androgynous clothing is easy to come by if you're willing to spend more than the average person on high-end designer fashion. Junya Watanabe, Hedi Slimane, Alexander Wang, Rick Owens are all well-known designers who make androgynous clothing on occasion, depending on the season. Shop for sales and buy second-hand on eBay, Grailed, Sufu Marketplace, and Styleforum.
How do you put up with denial? Does it ever stop? I used to think I wasn't trans despite wanting to be, and now that I'm on HRT, styling my hair, crossdressing, and liking it, I just..I sometimes tell myself I've bitten off more than I can chew and that this isn't healthy or that I won't pass (when I aleady fucking look like a girl) and I just get so much anxiety over it. Where does it come from? I have a therapist but I'm afraid if I basically tell him that I get cold feet I'll get walled off from mones or something.
>>5194236
>when I aleady fucking look like a girl
i wish i could relate, stop overthinking it you dummy
>>5191952
I need to deal with this stuff too if all goes well, would appreciate answers. How the fuck do you buy makeup before you have makeup to disguise as a girl? Can you order it online globally?
This is 2hard4me as a lonely self medding closet tranny.
I will never understand why so many people here use slurs to refer to themselves and others. That can't be healthy. Just because you're on 4chan doesn't make it compulsory.
>>5194291
Just go into a store and buy it. It's not illegal for men to buy makeup, you know. The assistants there will be happy to help you, too. You don't need to tell them you're trans.
>>5194395
It's not illegal for men to buy womens clothes either but that doesn't make it any easier. Makeup seems rather impossible to learn to do by oneself, every other trans person I know has had an irl cis female friend to guide them through it, to go shopping with etc.
>>5194423
A cis female friend isn't always available. And it certainly isn't impossible to learn to do on your own. There's a billion makeup tutorials on Youtube, and the basics are pretty simple. It really didn't take me very long to teach myself at all.
>>5194459
That's somewhat reassuring, the shopping part is a huge hurdle though. I was too shy to buy mens clothes before and this is even harder, let alone something like makeup that I dont know anything about.
>>5194476
I used to be terrified of buying girl clothes and makeup, but when I actually forced myself to do it I realised that literally nothing happened. Nobody cares. It's 1000x worse in your head than it is in real life, trust me.
>>5191952
To hide my shadow, on my pale skin which makes it pretty hard, I first start with a primer, then I gently dab a slightly warmer than my skin concealer on where I intend to hide my beard shadow, then dab & smear it to smoothen it with that kind of sponge you use for makeup, and apply more concealer till you can't tell it my shadow is there unless you look at a certain angle, then I apply a powder that has a really orangey colour, you have to be super careful and only dab this on the spots where you have beard shadow, then I finish it off with a pale powder and also use that on the rest of my face.
It's a bit hard to explain, I learned this from just going to a makeup store that will gladly put makeup on you and teach you new things so long you intend to buy stuff. The lady who taught me was really nice. c:
>>5194493
The worst part are those over-enthusiastic sales people who come to ask how they can help and try to smalltalk and when you tell them you're fine they go back to the register to stare at you intensely until you make a purchase or leave. I live in an empty country so I'm likely to be the only person in the store with 2-5 sales people.
Maybe makeup stores are better.
>>5194377
There are lots of reasons
>self-depreciating humour/irony
>actual self-hatred
>habit or imitation of other people's usage
>not knowing the alternative terminology
>using certain terminology in the hope of being better understood
>not perceiving it as offensive or not particularly caring regardless
>trying to "reclaim" usage of slurs
What could I buy for a hundred dollars that could further push me to my goal of being a qt girl. I've already been taking hormones.
>>5196969
Most important thing would be facial hair removal. Electrolysis or laser.
Otherwise I'd say some makeup stuff or start building a wardrobe
>Sure, I will give you anti-androgens
>In 6 months
Got my prescription for E today. I don't think I'm balding, but the thought of it happening in the next 6 months - as these things are wont to do - is terrifying. My dad is super bald.
>>5195407
Yeah this. I call myself a degenerate tranny because I really do fucking hate myself, and am well aware that people I hold in high esteem and look up to think I'm a mentally ill freak of nature.
>>5197010
Why's it taking six months? Is this shitty britbong health care?
>>5195407
I just wrote out a post saying "I think the word tranny is funny," but the truth is, I think, is it helps me get over how I used to perceive transsexuals - as weirdo fetishists.
>>5197029
It's shitty britbong healthcare, yeah.
>>5197010
Why would you take E without AA, your doc is a fucking moron. Order some cypro, unless you have some kind of liver disease.
>>5197045
I have type 1 diabetes, I can't take cypro.
>>5197099
Spiro is costs less than 1£ per day.
>>5197118
I'll definitely have to consider that. The doc said he'd double my does of E in 3 months, then introduce decapeptyl if I needed it 3 months later. So I'll see what my blood test results are like in 3 months.
>>5197099
Another type 1 here. What does it do to you? It's kinda hard to find info on how HRT and diabetes affect eachother.
Would dieting to lose weight early in HRT adversely affect my breast development?
>>5197236
An endocrinologist would probably be able to answer that for you since they typically see a lot of patients for diabetes
>>5197250
If you can, diet before you start. Lose the weight you can before going on HRT so the new fat you gain is more womanly.
>>5197250
Oh yeah another question too, what's considered "normal" doses for HRT? Right now I'm on 2 mg of estradiol and 100 mg of spiro twice a day, before that I was only on 1 mg and 50 mg respectively for about three months. I have another endo appointment this week and I'm probably going to get bumped up again. I wanna know if I should be expecting any significant changes by now (at about 5 months in) or not, so far I've only noticed very modest breast development. My skin still sucks and I have a lot of problems with acne breakouts
>>5197236
Androcur (cyprotone acetate) specifically messes with your blood sugar. It's difficult to say because doctors probably won't ever prescribe it to you if you have diabeetus, and I guess most diabetics won't self-med with that, they'd get spiro instead.
>>5196982
>tfw facial hair removal costs 1800 euros
>>5194377
Humour. If I was jewish I'd call myself a kike
>>5197632
Laser cost me $700 for 5 sessions, got rid of about half of my facial hair (I have a lot of it). It's $50 per session now until it's gone
It always seems like Yurop gets the short end of the stick when it comes to transitioning
>>5197649
Oh my god $50 only? Thats an amazing price, I'm still paying $150 each and I'll be on #8 in a few weeks. 5th was free though.
depression
i've completely lost the will to live and have tried everything. every med combo (on max dose right now), therapist says it's self-sabotage
the thought of living out the rest of my life terrifies me. i'm in my late 20s and have fully transitioned mtf and pass 100%
i just don't know what to do. i've been hospitalized before after suicide attempts and i didn't get better, so where should I go from here?
If cyproterone is the same as androcur, then why the second one is a lot more expensive?
>>5198734
Androcur is just the brand name. I guess if you're seeing something listed as cyprotone, it's a generic.
>>5197801
That sucks anon. I don't have any advice but you have my sympathy
>>5198799
thank you. i'd give anything to not feel like this
So I'm at a dilemma. I'm in the same spot >>5191952 is in and need to get my shadow covered. Are there any stores or places that are really good / aren't gonna judge me walking in totally in dude mode? I'm in Canada if that helps.
>>5198880
Literally just walk in and buy some makeup. No one will care, you might get some odd glances from middle aged women but overall you'll just come across as some random fag
>>5198880
Bring a girl with you to show you what's good and what's not. Plus, people see a girl with you and they won't give a shit. fear white dads with their son(s) more than the nosy woman though.
>>5197801
Situation really sucks. What interests you or used to interest you?
I've been getting lasered basically every 6-8 weeks ever since I started HRT 18 months ago. Beard on my chin is gone entirely, but on my upper lip it almost looks like all the years before. What the hell is going wrong there?
Sometimes after a session I wouldn't grow any more beard for the whole duration until the next appointment, now after the last one it's absolutely impossible to shave away all the new beard that keeps growing.
Could it be any related to me upping my E from 4mg to 6mg? I'm pretty sure thats when I started getting more serious issues with my beard again.
>>5199188
Hair grows in cycles, that's why they make you wait a few months before each treatment. I'm guessing the hair currently growing on your beard hasn't been killed by the laser yet
So I havent started HRT yet, but will soon. I have very muscular legs, it looks like i never skip leg day at the gym, but i almost never work my legs, at least i'm not trying tomake them big and muscular. I want to have slimmer legs is there a way to decrease my musclemass so my legs will slim down?
>>5199256
Don't exercise your legs and go on a diet. HRT will reduce your muscle mass anyway since your body won't be able to sustain it without testosterone
do note that larger thighs will give you an overall more feminine figure though
>>5199218
But come on, 18 months of treatment? That seems too long and I've got very bright skin and almost black beard; it shouldn't be such a problem...?
>>5199256
I've had this too, as far as it goes with my weight. I looked like a runner. HRT gave me slightly softer shapes but it takes very long and I suppose if I managed to gain some weight I wouldn't see any of my former muscle bulk anymore. When I flexed my muscles it looked kinda intimidating I suppose, now if I tried, you'd just laugh at me.
>>5197649
It would be free if I was on the gov program though so there's that. The issue is that it's 100% a gatekeeping program. 2 year waiting period before evaluation starts, 6-12 months of evaluation and even after that you get insufficient doses of AA and E. Oh, and real life test before you get any pills. If you don't have a life and are NEET then you're deemed too unstable to get into the program.
>>5199340
Maybe their laser is shitty or maybe laser just doesn't work on you for some reason? I guess you could try switching over to electrolysis
>>5199287
oh my thighs are kinda large, i guess that'll work in my favor.
but my calves are massive
i'm on my feet alot but thats all the exercise my legs get day to day. running and walking
>>5199346
Wow that's awful. I'm American, I just had to find a therapist that specialized in gender identity and told him I've wanted to be a girl all my life and hated the idea of being a man and after a few sessions I got a referral to an endocrinologist and only had to wait about three months for an appointment
>>5199364
How long before you got started on HRT?
>>5199374
About 6 months, though to be honest I was really insecure about the idea of transitioning beforehand. I was just seeing a regular therapist for a while and probably wasted like a year :/
>>5199380
6 months? damn, that seems like a long time for them to make you wait. I understand the insecrue feeling aobut transition, i too have that. the more i thought about it though the more i came to the conclusion thats what i want.
the hard part is I still have not told anyone, I dont know how to break the news to my senpai and friends... Surprise! I'm a Girl Now!
>>5199417
uh i dont know why that says Senpai, I types family...
>>5199417
>the hard part is I still have not told anyone, I dont know how to break the news to my senpai and friends... Surprise! I'm a Girl Now!
You really just have to brace yourself and tell them. No easy way around it. I was really lucky to have accepting friends and family
>>5199352
There's no electrolysis in the area but I could switch to a different company for either laser or IPL. Should I try IPL or just stick with laser and hope theirs works better? Nothing else about my looks keeps me from going girl mode.
>>5199380
I've been seeing specialized therapists for 2 years and was NOT insecure and I'm still self medding and still got no referral. Fuck that...
>>5199358
>but my calves are massive
So were mine. Don't worry. Just don't expect it to change immediately.
>>5198880
sephora. just go. no judgment.
>>5199449
Good to hear, I know all the changes will take time i'm prepared for that.
>>5199072
nothing really, I just feel like a shell
So, I'm new on /lgbt/. Hi all!
Right now, i'm just a week away from finally getting HRT.
While I live alone, and getting HRT without my parents won't be a problem, they still think I should "wait till i'm 21 and out of college" to start transitioning at all. I've tried to tell them that waiting isn't an option because of my dysphoria, but they don't believe I am dysphoric because I "didn't show any signs of this as a kid".
My mom also thinks HRT is "a medical experiment" and "nobody knows what it will do to you so you shouldn't take it". And that "once you're done with puberty your only option is surgery".
So what do you think I should say to the 'rents? Like I said, their disapproval isn't stopping me in the slightest.
>>5199775
My mom was the same way. You really just have to be insistent that they're wrong and that you're serious about this
Hey anons, Ive been questioning a lot recently. Heres my deal:
>Childhood was fairly normal in terms of gender, nothing Id really point out and say there was signs of being trans back then as far as I can remember
>teen years were alright, at first I was even amused by my facial hair and whatnot
>once I got my misconceptions about transpeople and crossdressers out of my head, suddenly I started really wanting to be more feminine
>I think when I was young I had too much homophobia and the like pumped into my head by my dumb best friend so I figured gays and trannies are gross
>never did I imagine being trans could actually end up with you really looking like and being a woman and not like, a man in drag
>i didnt really question things though, up until I started really paying attention to this stuff
>I started about 3 years ago, I wanted to be a trap so bad someone asked if I was trans
>I started to ask myself that and I felt pretty strongly about it. The more I did the more it grew and got worse
>I see a therapist about it and after a few months he tells me Im just convincing myself Im trans
>somehow that clicked in my head and I felt fine so we stopped seeing each other
>we never discussed why I was convincing myself, though
>periodically this has come back into my head and Ive always just repressed it
>Even though I repressed it as well as I could and tried to set myself up for a life as a man, it wouldnt go away
>I was ready to join the army but I couldnt go through with it because I wasnt sure if I could handle being so manly
>even though I stopped myself from following one of my dreams because of this, I still carried on telling myself I was just a guy that for some reason needed to have a girly body and looks
>recently I spoke with a tgirl about my gender confusion and they called out how stupid repressing this was, opening the floodgates for this all to come into full force
>I cant get this off my mind, the best I can manage is when Im distracted at work
>>5199849
>I cant be trans, I like my cock
>Im not as bad as I theoretically could be, I dont need to transition
>I only feel dead inside and think about killing myself at least 20 times a day
>Im okay in public, transpeople arent
>I havent shaved my face today, Im not trans
>more silly stuff
>Ever since I stopped ignoring and repressing this Ive felt absolutely the worst I have in a long time
>its cause a lot of internal hate and conflict
>it seems pretty clear to me that I want to be a girl and transition ASAP, that this has gone on long enough
>some part of me still keeps nagging at me with doubts
>>5199775
Just get your HRT and prove them wrong, and show them how happier you are on it.
>>5199863
You might be a transbian.
>>5199907
No memes pls. I like guys, girls, anything really.
>>5199849
it honestly sounds like you have obsessive-compulsive disorder
>>5200002
I might. It's not the traditional sense of it, at least. I don't do a lot of repetitive actions, it seems entirely thought based, however this is the only thing I get so obsessed over.
>>5199863
>>5199907
I'm the same, grew up with punks and don't even know girly attitude but I'm definitely not a lesbian. Acting girly and doing girly stuff makes me feel so immature, guy mode is so much easier and comfortable to pull off but no matter how much I act like a guy, people eventually treat me like a girl and I love it and I love being a girl when noone's looking but everywhere else I feel like I have to behave kinda ballsy. It's more compulsive than anything.
If I was born a girl I'd probably be a dyke but I'd be happy.
>>5200020
same, I also feel like I convinced myself and I'm at the point now where I'm about to stop hrt (only been on like a month though). i don't know what I'm doing anymore
>>5200039
but why would anyone convince themselves they're trans?
>>5200020
>>5200039
>It's not the traditional sense of it
it is actually extremely common. it's documented in the dsm but liberals are too worried about offending people than being realistic about mental health
obsession: the thought that you might be trans
compulsion: crossdressing, pursuing hormones, asking for srs, telling people you are trans
>trannies will hate this post
I'm mtf and also a psychologist.
>>5200027
I feel embarassed about girly things. They're what I like but everyone is 100% sure Im a guy and its so out of character for me. The only people who know me as girly are the online friends I feel safe aorund. If I were born a girl I'd definitely be more of a woman than girly. Like, I'd wanna be one of those girls that go to go to Ranger school and stuff, while being content as a woman.
>>5200052
Well what would you propose I do, then? Pursue my compulsion? Try to fight it like I have been, unsuccessfully?
>>5200058
I'm the first one at least, but not a hypochondriac nor is this a fetish for me.
>>5200058
>please elaborate
most of the documentation is on sexual orientation, but there has been a social taboo on studying it for the last 40 years. there isn't a lot more known about the phenomenon. if you want to read more google so-ocd because other people could probably describe it better than I would.
>>5200069
>Well what would you propose I do, then? Pursue my compulsion? Try to fight it like I have been, unsuccessfully?
if you're in the US, it's the reason for mandating therapy before receiving hormones. if it's interrupting your daily life then see a therapist who can help you sort it out. if it's not then be happy you're fairly healthy mentally. disorders should only be treated if they are making it harder for you to live
>>5200095
>if you're in the US, it's the reason for mandating therapy before receiving hormones. if it's interrupting your daily life then see a therapist who can help you sort it out
It basically is interrupting my daily life, I struggle to keep going, every day I feel more and more like I'm gonna act out and lose it.
I'd see a therapist but I'm not sure what they could offer me. My last one told me I had OCD and I was convincing myself and left it at that. At the time it seemed good enough for me but here I am again.
>>5200052
>I'm mtf and also a psychologist.
Are you my therapist by any chance? Lol.
>>5200151
nah I just wanted to know what was wrong with me and enjoy science
>>5200155
both of those sound nice right now
>>5197279
200mg spiro / 4 mg estrogen is pretty standard.
>>5200359
10mg estradiol valerate per week via IM injection is the 1488% masterrace method, though, at least for estrogens.
>>5200380
My clinic won't give anything other than pills unless im allergic or something.
>>5200391
Would you be willing to self-med and go to a private blood testing clinic to check levels?
That's what I did. The pills are garbage in comparison, and you can only get the pills where I live.
>>5200380
That sounds dangerous as heck though.
Can anybody identify exactly what these are? I'm mostly curious as to whether it's legal or not.
>>5200455
spironolactone on bottom and estradiol on top in pharmacy bottles
sup /srg/
>>5200459
thanks
and hi
Hey I usually post on mtfg but, seeing as what I'm about to ask is really kind of thread high-jacking, I want to try it here first.
So this is the scenario, I'm a pre-mones mexican MtF living in Japan for the moment. I lost a lot of weight since coming to Japan but my "manboobs" remained, which would mean gynecomastia and probably upset most people but it actually gives me something to work with.
And I started trying to buy bras. Now, the thing is, at the store I'm getting them at, I can't try them on, so I've spent 8000 yens on bras and I have no idea if any of them fit correctly or not.
Anyways, anyone knowledgeable available?
>>5200431
Not really - pretty easy and safe. Posted this on anther site not too long ago.
>>5200479
What do you wanna know anyway?
>>5200115
if it's disrupting your daily life then you're going to need a source of help that isn't here. if you're in school stop by an lgbt club or whatever (literally never a trans there but they'd at least listen) or visit a therapist that specializes in gender issues and let him or her know upfront that you want to address your confusion and see if OCD is the best fit or if HRT would make you feel better.
another thing to consider is that some gender dysphoric people are helped by spironolactone alone which basically decreases your testosterone. it may lead to some breast development, but testosterone is extremely powerful and can lead to anger, muscles that might upset you, and subjectively makes you think less clearly about yourself
really wish you the best, friend
>>5200573
You got an AA cup. And you're broad, so grab 90A maybe.
>>5200512
literally cancer
>>5200597
Wow, good luck getting that... I guess it's sister with... C80? I knew I shouldn't have dropped that D75 ._.
Should I get ffs even if I already pass all the time? I can afford it but I still have a really hard time looking in the mirror because I see all of my masculine traits only
>>5200615
Morals and money aside, I don't see why not.
If I can't order from ADC or inhouse, how could I get my hands on micronized estradiol tabs or perhaps even patches? I've been buying from QHI so far, but they only have film-coated and I feel like my body just can't handle those too well. My E2 on 4mg has been very low, so I wanna do sublingual with micronized tabs... just how? I'm in the EU and need my stuff shipped from inside the EU cause my country is absolutely anal about customs.
I know most of you are more into the physical aspects of transition, but as someone who is interested in the mystical and esoteric, this site made me feel really good:
http://www.trans-spirits.org/spirit_of_transgender.html
>>5200710
try goldpharma, however their site has been a little strange ever since visa stopped allowing their payments
>want to just start hormones, get the ball rolling
>caught up with school, not sure how to tell my parents i actually want to start this
>see methods i can get hormones online potentially, see risks regarding legal issues, health issues
>stopped seeing my therapist during school, haven't been able to get myself to make another appointment
>feel like i'm fucked every single way
fuck me
>>5200748
tldr? i read the first 1/4 of it and it was one of the most euphoric things I've ever seen
>how did I know I was transgender?
when i was way younger i always tried to push my penis inside, my sister was my bff, i collected stuffed animals, and lived a happy little childhood
when puberty hit I was suicidal nearly every day due to my physical body and voice changing. it felt like i was watching a b-movie and a guy's face is sliding off. i started to beat my chest hoping that would help me develop boobs and experimented with astral projection in trying to "switch bodies" or whatever by mystical means. i was dressing during all of this in my sister's clothes (unbeknownst). this is when I first realized I was a girl.
while researching astral projection online I stumbled across the phrase "transgender" and realized that it was exactly what I was going through. transitioned a short time later
>>5200783
i diy'd my first year. I wouldn't recommend it, honestly. dunno what country you live in, but it's piss easy to get a script and get your blood tested every 6 months
dunno how old you are or what grade or year you're in, but it's nice having a female name on my graduation certificate.
more quick advice is that if you can't handle doing it the proper way, then you probably won't be able to handle the rest of the annoyingly long road of transition. stop shitposting and schedule an appointment
>>5200980
Why would you not recommend it? You can usually get your blood tested even without prescription.
>>5200995
company i ordered it from sold my data and ended up getting my IRL name attached to some shit about estradiol and spiro
also it's a lot more expensive than if you have insurance
also it's hard to know what dosage works best for you. it turned out i was low test already, so the spiro put me in a range below normal girls. it ended up affecting my mood and body negatively
ultimately it's your choice though
>>5201020
My bloodwork is fine, QHI seems reputable and I've not experienced any issues. As I said, blood can get tested without prescription.
Sorry to hear you've been screwed over, although I don't quite get what you mean with your name getting attached to something.
Expensive is relative, when the alternative is to not get meds at all. I mean... who really self-meds as their first choice?
How to be passable?
>>5201020
>it turned out i was low test already, so the spiro put me in a range below normal girls. it ended up affecting my mood and body negatively
correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought trans girls end up with little to no test anyway?
>>5201056
git gud
>>5201056
Hair, eyeliner, (chapstick), voice, facial expression, female postures.
Any websites where i can date for sex with people and get money? I am poor and i am at college and i cant get a job
>>5201061
nah the body needs testosterone. iirc 40 ng/dL, but i rarely look at the numbers just my doctor
>>5200587
Even if I treated this obsessiveness, I dont think my desire to be a girl would go away. I had to have that in the first place in order to get obsessed about it.
>but testosterone is extremely powerful and can lead to anger, muscles that might upset you, and subjectively makes you think less clearly about yourself
Boy do I know that one well. Anger is sometimes how I feel like unleashing my emotion rather than crying (though, sometimes I want to do that, I just havent been able to in about 4 years).
I do probably need help that isnt here, I think Im just apprehensive to going to therapy because of bad experiences so far, and to be honest, Im afraid of being told Im not trans.
>really wish you the best, friend
Thanks, hopefully I can earn it one way or another.
I've heard injections give you bests results in feminizing.
But what about patches/gel? They should be more effective than pills too, or am I wrong?
>>5201216
>I had to have that in the first place in order to get obsessed about it.
obsessions don't typically come on like that so this isn't a great argument against. i'm admittedly not up-to-date with psychology since I graduated many years ago (>tfw old) but the precursor to the sexual obsession is the notion that it's a possibility resulting in a feedback loop and anxiety (ocd = anxiety disorder) over the possibility. I'm not trying to talk you out of it or make your decision for you, I just think people need to be aware of alternatives before making such a big life change.
it was hard for me to deal with too fwiw. what convinced me personally that I needed to transition was falling in love with a straight guy and wanting to be his partner as a female. that relationship never went anywhere, but it did help me figure out who I am. i also don't really even act all that feminine: same hobbies, interests, style, etc
anyway, everybody's different. just make sure you're sure before doing anything and remember spiro only to buy yourself time to think it over is an option
and obligatory
>tfw no bf
>suddenly feel like a guy again
How do I deal with being flip floppy?
>>5200610
>on 4chan
>calling literally anything else cancer
It was reddit tier.
UK here, it looks like this is the best site for self medding:
https://www.qhi.co.uk/ky.asp?i=Transgender+HRT
I just wondered what doses I should take, how frequently, and any other information like that?
>>5199775
>but they don't believe I am dysphoric because I "didn't show any signs of this as a kid".
Dysphoria doesn't have to start in childhood; it's common for it to start in puberty with the onset of secondary sexual characteristics, and even then it can still start even later or only be noticed later due to repression or lack of information. Regardless, what they're saying is like saying that you're not depressed now because you weren't depressed as a kid; you clearly are now, and it doesn't have to start in early childhood.
Describe how you feel to them, giving particular attention to how dysphoria has affected your ability to function (e.g. can't concentrate in school because depressed and distracted by being jealous of the girls who are there; it emphasises the practical need for treatment) and how it has continued to get worse over time. Get across how you've carefully considered the consequences of what you're doing and understand that there are downsides, but that ultimately it's the treatment that you need.
>they still think I should "wait till i'm 21 and out of college" to start transitioning at all
Tell them that the longer you wait to transition the more your body will develop and become more masculine, and therefore doing nothing is as much a decision/action as getting treatment; "waiting to see if you still feel this way" is harmful, both because of the symptoms being suffered for longer and because of them (and their causes) getting worse.
(1/2)
>>5199775
>My mom also thinks HRT is "a medical experiment" and "nobody knows what it will do to you so you shouldn't take it". And that "once you're done with puberty your only option is surgery".
They're plainly wrong there. Show them government healthcare websites or medical journals or things like that that prove it.
Transition (including hormones, etc.) is a recommended and widely practices treatment for severe gender dysphoria, indeed the only one (if there were other treatments that worked people wouldn't do something as strange as transitioning, especially with the social stigma). Therapy doesn't cure it in a similar way to how it doesn't "cure" homosexuality.
Also tell them that they misunderstand how HRT works. It's literally just 2 things: an antiandrogen (to suppress the action of testosterone), and oestrogen (to do oestrogen things). The oestrogen makes your hormone levels similar to what a female's is like during puberty; i.e. it induces a normal female puberty, with the only difference being that there has been some male pubertal development beforehand (anything that happens on top of that is the same as in a cis female). The body doesn't "know" what sex it is (in a lot of senses); it just responds to hormones. As far as the body is concerned, a male with almost no testosterone and lots of oestrogen is the same as a female (who would have almost no testosterone and lots of oestrogen).
Tell them that menopausal women (or men with low testosterone) go on HRT all the time just fine; the only difference in MtF transsexual HRT from HRT for menopause is that there's also an antiandrogen being administered.
(2/2)
>>5199849
Symptoms vary between people (not everyone feels too anxious in public, not everyone feels too bad about their genitals, etc.), but regardless, going off your post you clearly have many symptoms of gender dysphoria. Your story sounds similar to mine; I also had a late onset, and a lot of the ways that you've tried to justify it to yourself or have brushed off your symptoms are unsettlingly similar to things I've thought, as are several other things you've mentioned.
What makes someone trans is wanting to be a different sex. Who cares if some things that don't matter don't match up with other people (not even necessary things either; just common trends or even just stereotypes)? Consider everything: "not feeling genital dysphoria" takes on a different meaning in light of "feeling dysphoria about other aspects of my body" and "desperately wanting to be female".
>As much as I want to be a girl and feel like I am and that Ill be more comfortable as one, I just feel like Im too different from other transpeople to actually be one. Theres no way I am, it just doesnt add up, I have to be fucked up in some other way.
Apply Occam's Razor here: if you present more than enough symptoms of gender dysphoria to be diagnosed with gender dysphoria, and there's nothing else that could be confused for gender dysphoria that fits nearly as well, then it's probably gender dysphoria. That's not to say that other answers aren't possible, but just that they're less likely. Also, your fears and biases may be compelling you to fixate on those over the more likely answer.
Transitioning is scary and difficult, and you can't know absolutely if it's the right decision in advance; but you can be sure enough to make it the best option regardless, and if you are trans then it's basically going to be necessary if you want to be happy. The alternative is bank on the fact that you're not trans and the problem handles itself; think about whether you can expect that to happen, and why.
>>5199775
>>5202719
>>5202733
Try not be be too impatient or harsh on your parents, unless they're being unashamedly bigoted or refusing to try to understand things further. Doubting that you're trans and looking for alternative explanations is normal (pretty much every trans person already does that to themselves, even), since it can be hard to accept that something so significant is wrong and also to accept the dramatic nature of the solution/treatment. Much of their problem with it also seems to be based on misconceptions, so perhaps clarifying those will alleviate much of their problem with it.
Be willing and prepared to explain to them.
First time posting (been kind of lurking the past few days though, aside from that I've never used 4chan)
I'm 17, 18 in 2 months. Pre-everything so still presenting as male. Already came out as trans to my best friend a few months ago (who came out as gay to me only minutes before) and to his boyfriend (who I'm also friends with), as well as one of my sisters.
The stress is at the point where I'm dropping high school next semester because I can't focus on anything, and it's causing me to fail all of my classes (In the past I was an A/B student, now I fail almost everything).
A long standing (2-3 years) problem with my back and legs makes it difficult to walk for more than 30 minutes at a time, so finding a job is hard.
I feel like the only way I'll be able to start HRT ever is to get my mother's help paying for it, but I don't think she would take me seriously.
I absolutely can't come out to my father (thankfully he doesn't live with me, he's an awful person all around), as he refers to transgender people as "inhuman" and "abominations". He's also known to be violent when things he doesn't like happen, sooo...
I need to figure out a way to tell my mother, but even then I don't know if she'd support me, and if she did I'm not sure she could afford to help.
What do I do?
>>5203022
>>5203022
Don't fucking drop high school, you'll regret it. I know it's hard, I really had to push myself during my senior year for the same reason (one time I broke down crying in class, left school early and didn't come back for a week), but your opportunities in life are gonna be cut short if you don't stick it out. Come out to your mom unless you think she'd go absolutely batshit about it (it really doesn't sound like that). She'll be very upset and confused for a long time but she'll still love you. I got HRT and endocrinology stuff paid for off of my mom's insurance, but if you aren't that lucky you can pay for it with a part time job, which you should look into anyway so you can start saving money for stuff like facial hair removal and makeup and wardrobe.
I was in your same situation, it took me until shortly before my 22nd birthday before I finally swallowed my first HRT pills. I want to emphasize you should be persistent and courageous. I wish I had had the guts to start when I was 19, I could be full time right now. Some people fuck up even harder and wait for years and years. Being trans is hard, you need to meet it face on with hard work and determination. Don't shy away from difficulties, you can find a way around any obstacle
>>5203067
Oh yeah, one thing I forgot, you might be able to find a job like a receptionist or data entry where there's not much physical stress. If you have experience using stuff like Excel and fast typing that'll give you a somewhat marketable skill to get through the door. I did data entry for my university's cafeteria for a while. Easy job
>>5203067
The thing is, nobody in my family is particularly close to anyone else in my family.
If I did tell my mother and she couldn't afford to help me, we're not close (despite living in the same tiny ass apartment) so I doubt I'd even get emotional support (not like it would matter, I already have 3 other people for that, and they're great people).
As for school, I really just can't do it. I understand that it would limit work opportunities, but I keep missing class after class's worth of information because I keep getting distracted by my thoughts about trans things. I can't focus. I can't make myself focus. I'm failing all 4 of my classes this semester, I failed classes last semester (I've basically been failing all around though all my years of high school so far). I can't do it.
And even if I did manage to pass high school (which I absolutely can't) the jobs I can take are limited by my not being able to stand for even an hour (that's not exaggerated either, I have gone through extreme pain before from trying to stand up longer than 30 minutes).
And if I did stay in school, and my mother was able to help, I would likely kill myself from having to deal with the pressure of doing HRT while in school.
On the bright side I have been seeing a therapist. My best friend has been taking me to his therapist (he sets an appointment for himself and just gives me the floor) so I have been talking to one (only gone twice so far, only recently started). And she specializes in lgbt stuff so that's good.
>>5203135
And even if I did manage to pass high school (which I absolutely can't) the jobs I can take are limited by my not being able to stand for even an hour (that's not exaggerated either, I have gone through extreme pain before from trying to stand up longer than 30 minutes).
I have a friend with a similar problem (connective tissue disorder, he can't get around much at all). He still found a job
>And if I did stay in school, and my mother was able to help, I would likely kill myself from having to deal with the pressure of doing HRT while in school.
Being on HRT doesn't necessarily mean you have to come out publicly. A lot of people wait a long time to start presenting as female in public, and it takes a long time for the physical effects of HRT to do anything noticeable. I really hope you can work things out anon. If high school is absolutely not an option then you can get a GED and then go through community college, just try your best not to go NEET for too long cause that shit will trap you
>>5203169
I've looked at charts about how long HRT takes to do things before, but it didn't click in my head that it takes a long time until I read it in your post (not sarcasam, I don't know why it didn't occur to me).
Dropping out and taking the GED was my plan for school problems, so I hope that works out.
Side note: I've no clue what NEET means. I didn't see it anywhere in those links in the OP but I might have missed something. Can you tell me what it means?
>>5203217
Not in education, employment, or training. It means you just shitpost on 4chan and watch anime all day
Please help. Where can i self-med as a dane?
Also what is wpath? I was told it was a good place to get a therapist, but I have no idea how to do so
Posting here because when I posted in /mtfg/ my post got buried under tripfags circlejerking and not actually helping anyone.
I'm currently 6'2 and terrified that my height will instantly cause me to be unable to pass, what do I do? It doesn't help that while I was in /mtfg/ a little bit earlier trying to get help (first time there) they seemed to be making fun of trans people who were tall.
>>5203969
You'll have more attention drawn to you, that's for sure. It doesn't mean you can't pass, there ARE cis women who are that tall. I'm 6'0", I look at people like Sigourney Weaver and Aisha Taylor for inspiration, plus if you ever hang out with girls from volleyball teams you'll find plenty of amazons
>>5203987
Also, general advice: stay the fuck away from /mtfg/. It's just a containment thread for all the histrionic tripfags
>>5203969
6'2, while outside the norm, isn't freakishly tall. It certainly doesn't help, but it's really not that bad as some people make it seem. More attention, yes, but in the end height is one of the things you should be worried about least when it comes to passing.
Instead, think of all the advantages you have compared to shorter people.
Will I need FFS? I tried to take an honest photo
Also, how to deal with the feel where you take a photo and then want to kill yourself?
>>5204967
Maybe not full on FSS, you'll definitely need your chin and jaw worked on though
I take a series of pictures at the same angle in hopes one will turn out satisfactory.
>>5203022
You need to finish school, if your parents aren't going to help you, you need to help yourself or youll never get on HRT. Once you get your diploma, get a job and start seeing a gender therapist.
>>5204967
>Will I need FFS?
That's entirely up to you to decide if you feel like you need it/will benefit from it.
>>5202800
Well, thing is, I've explained all of this at LEAST three times to both of them--first when I first came out, second when I first discussed HRT with them, third when I got a job and could finance transitioning myself. I've showed them the Standards of Care, a shitload of trans-related studies, explained its effects, explained how dysphoria feels, how you don't have to "always know" you were trans, and they seem to forget all of it every time. They have physical and digital copies of every fucking scrap of information I can find but they don't get it.
I know I really should be patient, but it is really getting ridiculous at this point.
>>5205260
I keep explaining that to mine aswell, or at least my mother really, barely got contact to my dad. She acts like she understands everything but still got her own very wrong ideas about everything. FFS most recently cause she believes it isn't permanent... my stepdad is mostly quiet about it but from what I heard from my mom he's the one googling everything, reading articles, getting an actual understanding and explains it to my mom in a way she apparently finally understands... it's kinda funny what I started there.
I don't get what's so hard to understand either, but apparently it just is. Look at all the people who want us dead. The one thing they should notice though, you were miserable before and now that you transition you look better and smile more. I believe that's the case for most of us that others can notice.
How do I know if my hormone dosage is effective or if I need to increase it?
I had been taking 200mg Spiro and 4mg Estradiol for several months to no real effect besides puffy nipples. Since upping my dosage to 200mg Spiro/ 6mg Estradiol back in August I have noticed my chest filling in more to at least a 32A and getting more of a defined waist. However my chest hair still bothers me a lot. When does it decrease or do I need to laser it off. I'm really grossed out by nipple hair and just want it to go away. Should I increase to 8mg or is 6mg effective? I swear that my body is resistant to HRT.
How do I make my voice less nasal?
>>5205417
I feel more manly again after I stepped up both doses after getting my blood checked. How can that be?
>Do you consider yourself a girl?
>Would you be more happy as a girl?
What question is more important? Which comes first? (Not asking for a personal answer to the questions, to be clear.)
>>5205599
well if you're asking someone who is unsure/questioning, the second one is probably more useful. since if you're not really sure you're probably not going to be at the stage where you consider yourself a girl yet
>>5205618
Exactly my thoughts.
I'm uncomfortable considering myself a girl at the moment, but I imagine myself being more happy if I were one.
>>5205260
3 times isn't enough, honestly; even if you explain very clearly you still have to keep bringing it up just because of how drastic/significant it is, and make sure you cover everything possible. Maybe by a certain point you'll have to give up and hope they come around once you've been transitioning for a while, but not before you've tried harder (even though it seems excessive).
In my own experiences, my parents were quite doubtful for a long time despite extensive discussion and explanation, but became much more understanding after further discussion despite it apparently going over pretty much the same things, and became much more understanding very quickly after we happened to run into certain specific issues that they had a problem with and clarify them (even though they hadn't explicitly mentioned them beforehand and I thought I had already covered them sufficiently). Even if you explain enough that they should probably be able to understand, if they have their own reasons for doubting then those are often going to prevent them from accepting it; you have to deal with their specific problems/doubts/reasoning, even if by all means your evidence should be enough for them to change their mind on their own.
Have you explicitly called them out on that? Have you said something very straightforward like "why do you believe _____ when the evidence shows _____ (while having the evidence on hand)?", or "if I'm supposed to be fine then why am I depressed and why does doing _____ alleviate it?". Make it impossible to deny, ignore, or misinterpret.
Are you self-medicating, or do you have some sort of diagnosis or doctor's opinion you could show them?
>>5205599
Many cis people don't even consider themselves to be their gender (or at least don't think about it). The 2nd question is directly relevant to transitioning (unhappy now; would be happier as a girl; transition to girl; become happier), while the first is only indirectly relevant.
>>5191952
Just take a female friend with you c; and to hide your shadow use a orange contor colour That when when you put foundation over it will neutralise the greyness
>>5193131
If you pass go fulltime if not Boymode it
I've recently adjusted my HRT to more or less "perfect" levels according to my endo but I'm starting to actually not feel like a girl anymore. I'm some 17 months on HRT and I've never really had a doubt before that I'd be happier as a girl and that the way I imagine myself to be is very girly, there's just that issue that I can't make it show if my life depended on it.
I wanna look pretty in my clothes, but I can't make it happen and I wanna be fun to be around with but there's faulty behaviour patterns so deeply rooted, I'm running on remote control whenever I exit the house.
If I try to work on one thing at a time; my hair, my makeup, voice, whatever really I go into full adhd mode and it's impossible to stick with one thing until it works. The result is usually me looking like a hobo for most of the week. Sounding like one too, I guess.
Talked to my shrink about it but he seems convinced I don't have any attention issues whatsoever and I don't really care what you label it, I just wanna know what I could possibly do to achieve healthier behaviour patterns. Any ideas?
>>5206560
>If I try to work on one thing at a time; my hair, my makeup, voice, whatever really I go into full adhd mode and it's impossible to stick with one thing until it works. The result is usually me looking like a hobo for most of the week. Sounding like one too, I guess.
try working on one thing at a time
I know I've asked this before about inhouse but I can't get a PO box until my voter ID comes in
What type of packaging do hormones from alldaychemist come in the mail in? I need something that won't make my parents suspicious enough to search it.
UK here. I heard recently that the NHS uses patches/gel, can anyone confirm or deny this? Is it as effective as other methods?
Also do any of you know where you can by injections from in the UK?
>>5208424
ADC has some shady shit
I've only ordered from there once, but it came in a small brown box. It isn't suspicious, except for the giant neon orange sticker that says "these drugs have not been regulated by FDA standards and are not recommended for consumption" customs puts on it
>>5208552
Jesus, really? On their website they claim to ship discretely.
Does anyone know anywhere where I can buy testosterone gel for self medding?
I'm fucking desperate at this point, got another year to wait at the GIC, they said my mental health is fine, just gotta wait for my blood results and it'll take a year.
>>5208649
>a year for blood test results
how
>>5208661
Charing Cross in London are A Shit and the only appointment they had for me was in 12 months time, this was two months ago I had my last appointment and my blood test. Still haven't even heard back on the results.
I'm just, desperate for testosterone.
Where can I get the things I need for self medding (estrogen+whatever else I'd need)? Online may or may not be an option, but links to sites would still help.
Any stores/pharmacies/whatever in the U.S that sell them? I live in east Tennessee if that helps.
>>5201090
Backpage,Craigslist,or Eros. Uh be careful out if you're serious.
Does anyone here know if tablets like Climavil (Or Prognova) can be taken sublingually?
If so, is it better?
>>5208870
Taking them sublingually doesn't do anything because they can't pass directly into your bloodstream
>>5208888
...
SHIT
I want to die
>>5208649
That's pretty hard because T is illegal
But i've seen T-shots in darknet markets, that's probably the only way to get it
Or a gym maybe, just ask the big muscular guys
>>5208740
I order from qhi.co.uk
But most americans seem to order from inhouse
Also america has informed consent clinics where you can get them without much psychologic stuff
>>5208904
It's not really a problem
I didn't mean it does nothing, it just doesn't do more than just swallowing them
I haven't started HRT yet but when I do I want to try injections because I heard it's more effective. What would I buy if I want to inject my estrogen? Is it more expensive? How frequently would I have to inject and how much?
>>5209216
find a doctor
I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. Both for a regular physical, and to come out as transgender. It's really now or never.
I'm going to be asked questions and I'll have to answer them. What should I expect? What should I say?
Also, what does it say about me and "muh feelings" that the ideas of transgenderism started only after seeing a timeline of a successful MtF? Does it invalidate anything about me?
>>5210471
I wouldn't think so. It makes sense, a lot of times trans* people in the media are portrayed as unrealistic jokes, or terrifying hon failures. Being shown that that's not the reality of things could wake up repressed feelings.
But if you're asking what to say to a doctor, just cheese up the stereotypical "I knew something was wrong since kindergarden" BS story so no one important doubts you(Unless you want actual legit counselling for your problems and not just hormones)
>>5210588
To me, it's not a feeling of "I hate the outward appearance of who I am becoming as I grow into an older adult male." This makes me wonder: if not that, if not body dysphoria, then what is it? I saw a guy who successfully transitioned into a pretty girl, and then wanted to do the same. Is vanity the reason I for why I have decided to transition? That, I think, is the question I am posing to my doctor if I were to tell him my feelings sprung about because of that goddamn timeline picture. I'm afraid it invalidates my feelings about gender dysphoria.
Anyway, the end goal in talking to the doctor is getting directed to a gender specialist. Before that happens, before the doctor goes through the bother of writing a referral, I have to convince him, hence why I'm here seeking help to do that. He's the mini-boss I need to get passed before I can reach the final level, but I'm afraid he's going to act as a gate keeper.
I have been depressed for so long that I can't tell if my feelings of dysphoria are real or if I just really hate myself.
>>5210683
I'm sorry, little kiwi bird. I will build you a small hut to protect you from the rain.
>>5210680
I dunno, I'm not professional but I really do view transitioning as something pretty simple, you either want to be a guy or a girl. If you don't like the one you were born as enough you change it, or alternatively if you want to be the other one enough you change. Don't worry about all this validity/tru-trans nonsense, that's mostly memeing. If you can say that you without a doubt want to be a girl enough to transition then it doesn't really matter why you're doing it. Transitioning isn't some type of modern sin that needs a special justification, it's just changing yourself to better suit yourself.
>>5210816
That's what I've come to think after all the questioning. It's about happiness. Happiness being the knowledge that I did the right thing. And the right thing being to transition. Secondary reasons are ultimately less important.
>>5210683
I felt the same way, then a couple months back I got dangerously close to attempting suicide and got on antidepressants.
for a few weeks, everything was amazing and the idea of being trans or having dysphoria almost made me laugh
few weeks after that, the dysphoria's back. It's not killing me right now because antidepressants, but it's enough to bring me down still.
It's entirely possible that it's just lingering effects and entrenched ideas from the depression but in my case it seems far more likely that it's legit dysphoria.
>>5211877
I've been chronically depressed since I was like 11. I mean formally diagnosed too. Since starting HRT I've been consistently happy over a somewhat long period of time for the first time I can remember
might not be the case for you but just sayin, dysphoria can directly cause depression
Hey so i'm not sure if this is the right place for this but I know if I post it on /adv/ they're going to get bogged down in the fact I'm trans.
Anyway I'm in my second year of uni, age 21, I started to transition last year and things have been really good since, I don't pass but I'm not a complete hon either and I still boymode to uni. My biggest problem right now is I don't know anyone, I've got really bad social anxiety and haven't really had a friend in 5 years, I'm really open to meeting new people, desperate even, but there hasn't been any chances for me to even talk to people. I really want to make some friends but I fear it's too late, any idea what I should do?
>>5211987
Join a club
Start talking with people before classes to kill time
Try to get to know anyone you have multiple classes with because you'll probably be seeing them a lot. Sometimes in my junior and senior years I'd have classes with three people in them
Go to your office hours and talk to your professors. Not only will this be practice for social anxiety but it will help you out a lot academically too
btw if you're trans you'll probably find it easier to hang out with girls but it shouldn't matter too much
>>5212022
Thanks I was planning on joining a society after christmas when they're looking for new members, unfortunately there aren't any classes on my course just big lectures which everyone attends with little opportunity to talk to people. The same goes for the lecturers since we have such a big class there's no real personal connection you can make. I don't really have much trouble talking to people anymore, I talk so little that I'm never short of something to say, it's just making that first contact I have difficulty with.
>>5211923
I've got enough problems that I can't lay the blame for depression entirely on dysphoria, but yeah I've literally been depressed for as long as I can remember.
About the closest I can come to saying I've been happy long-term was when I spent three years pretty much emotionally numb after my brother's suicide, so your story's probably somewhat true for me as well.
Could people post any places they know that sell clothes specifically for taller women?
All I got so far is http://www.tallgirls.co.uk/ and http://www.asos.com/Women/Tall/Cat/pgecategory.aspx?cid=18984&r=2
Is it worth it to self med in the UK? i have been browsing various resources and they are saying that the entire system is akin to navigating the 9 circles of hell.
Also can i just ask my gp for a blood examination if i tell them that im self medding whoremoans?
I'm not sure if I am trans but went ahead and made an appointment for therapy at the transgender institute in Kansas City. What should I expect going into this appointment?
I've suspected I was trans for years, dressing in my moms clothes when she was away since I was 10. Currently 25, 6 foot, and 160 lbs I'd that's needed information.
>>5213588
For a first session probably gonna be asked some basic questions, how long have you felt this way, how much stress does this give you day to day, what's your sexuality like, are you out to any friends or family, what exactly are you dysphoric about, etc
So I have an appointment with Planned Parenthood on Friday and looking to get my dosage increased.
I'm currently on 50mg spiro and .5mg estradiol, both twice daily and have been on it 3 weeks.
I haven't felt any of the effects of it yet and a lot of people have been telling me that's an unrealistically low starting dosage so I need to get it bumped up, especially cause I'm a lot heavier than most (thanks dysphoria :/ )
So I guess what I need help with is
>1. What should I go up to?
Hearing around I've heard about 100mg spiro and 2mg estradiol twice daily is a good starting place
>2. How do I request it?
I'm honestly very passive and don't want to get shot down as soon as I ask, but don't want to be so super assertive I come off as a dick and flat out say no because of it. How should I phrase it to show it's what I need but not to be a dick about it?
>>5213909
I'd say something along the lines of "I have heard from various places that this dose is too small, and that [dose] is a much better starting point, would it be possible to increase it to [previously mentioned dose]?"
>>5213909
I had no idea PP did this kind of stuff
My endo started me on 1 mg E 50 mg spiro twice a day, after two months bumped me up to 2 mg and 100 mg, then just this week bumped me up to 3 mg and 100 mg. I asked her what the target was and she said they were looking for about 100 pg/mL estradiol from my blood tests. I'm 6'0" 170 lbs, after two months I had just barely started to get some breast tenderness and some tiny buds. Right now my breasts seem like they're starting to develop, my skin's getting clearer and I've started having mood swings (I'm usually pretty stable so I know it's the HRT)
Anyway, common practice for a lot of medications, not just HRT, is to slowly ramp up to the target dosage so your body acclimates to the medicine and also to make sure there's no allergic reaction, instead of just dumping it in there at once. I'd say you could probably go in and say you haven't noticed any negative side effects and think it'd be fine to start ramping up the dosage and you'd be fine.
Also, HRT is a slow process. Don't expect immediate results
Hey what's up /lgbt/.
I'm pretty short, have a girly-looking face, but I have some "tells" of high testosterone that really concern me.
I definitely have broader-than average shoulders, and it's very easy for me to build muscle mass and difficult to lose it. I still have a lot of muscle left over from my last "repression phase". I have a big dick and a high sex drive, but disproportionately small balls and a thin scrotum. I also have a big butt and pretty wide hips for a guy, although narrow for a girl.
Would HRT affect me normally? Or would the changes happen slower than average? Would I need AA?
I am ready for HRT and so done with being a man, I can't wait to start but I need to know what I'm getting into. I don't want to fool myself into thinking that HRT will literally be magic but I want to be realistic.
>>5214031
Everyone with working testicles needs AA, which is going to cut down on both your muscle mass and sex drive a good bit. You don't sound like a special case or anything, there's nothing to worry about
>>5213976
that sounds good I'm just worried about what to say if she's like "well I think we should wait cause blah blah"
>>5213991
Well, PP also doesn't check hormone levels. I got bloodwork but it was only to check lipids and potassium, so I have no idea where I'm at. idk it's stupid.
And I understand ramping up but I've heard that a lot of people started at 100spiro/2estradiol and were shocked I was getting 1/4 the starting amount of estrogen
>>5214059
Thanks!
Is reduced appetite a thing with HRT or is something else wrong with me?
does anyone have any tips for tucking?
>>5214652
There's not much to it really. Shove your balls into your abdomen, pull the penis and scrotum tight towards your butt and keep everything in place with tight underewear. Just takes a bit of practice and you can get it pretty flat
>>5214661
I have done this but it hurts when i try to cross my legs is that normal or what?
>>5214673
I dunno, it's kind of uncomfortable for me too desu but I just deal with it.
>>5214681
I see will do the same then!
>>5214555
I'm FtM and definitely got increased appetite with T, so maybe? I don't know, but it fucking sucked having the appetite of a 14 year old boy on the budget of a broke college student.
My doctor diagnosed me with body dysphoria and referred me to a shrink. Should I call back and correct this to gender dysphoria, which would be more accurate? Or is it really one and the same with only a few differences in technicality?
>>5215383
There's definitely some overlap there, probably just a mistake from someone without much experience with trans patients
>>5215389
He almost makes it sound like anorexia on the doctor's note.
>>5215408
What does it say, exactly?
>>5215414
Nothing about my gender or identity, but everything about how I look on the outside. To be fair, I never told him the real problem. I was too afraid to even talk straight and on the verge of crying. For now, if the office can't do anything to correct it, I think I can work with "body dysphoria" as a description of the problem, I will just need to clarify to the shrink.
Also, I was referred to a shrink two fucking hundred miles from my house when there are therapists in my city. So that's another thing I'll have to call about.
Fuck. At least I'm getting on the right track.
>>5215455
I dunno, you might want to get it straightened out, he may be referring you to someone who specializes in anorexia or something
Are you in the UK? I don't know how the medical system works there
>>5215470
I'm in the United States, or California to be more specific.
Anyone have transition timelines that start specifically at age 21?
>>5217943
just google or use reddit or the imgur-link in the mtfg
>>5214555
some get more hungry some don't. I use to get sick a lot easier, especially in the morning but i started eating like a horse aswell
>>5214673
Thats not good, but mabe it will resolve with some time or when they shrink a bit. Maybe do it at home for a few hours a day till it gets more comforable?
>>5212977
yes you can do that, at least thats what i would do within the uk
>>5212752
longtallsally? Clothes from H&M or superdry usually fit me quiete well and i'm tall
>>5211987
just sit besides others before the lectures starts and start talking, maybe about the stuff you learn or about the city, that you're new and so on... in the same situation but stealth
Gonna start self-medicating soon. 200mg Spiro and 2mg Estradiol a day. I know it's stupid and reckless, but I feel like I'm never going to be happy unless I do this. Keep me in your prayers, /mtfg/. :D
>>5219222
>no doctor
>no informed clinic
>no sperm bank
You're at least getting your blood checked, right?
>>5219255
>no informed clinic
There aren't any in my state. And the nearest GID therapist is like, a four hour drive away.
>>5219264
>a four hour drive away
Boo fucking hoo. I have a three hour drive to my therapist next week with a three hour drive back home.
Go ahead and assume you know best. Don't seek professional advice that could perhaps save your life.
Honestly, regardless of the time it takes or the money, this is a LIFE changing moment. If there is ever a time when you need help the most, it is now.
>>5219323
okay dad
>>5219222
desu half that spiro does for the first couple of months at least. the body needs time to adjust itself and more medicine =/= better results
>>5219393
I was planning on starting Spiro first, and then adding the E after about two weeks. Thanks for the tip, though, should I wait closer to two months?
>>5219337
Don't worry, son. I should still be here in a weeks time when you inevitably ask for help about your chest pains and other health problems caused by incorrect dosages.
Meanwhile, I'll be getting free services, such as plastic surgery and SRS, after some number of visits to my doctor and therapist to cure my dysphoria.
>>5219449
>son
Truscum detected.
>>5219428
>should I wait closer to two months?
What you SHOULD do is talk to a doctor.
If nobody's going to talk you out of this self-destructive behavior though, then yes, two months on spiro alone would be ideal.
>>5219449
Free services?
Explain your magic.
I'm sitting here wondering if I'll ever be able to afford any of the stuff I need because my insurance does roughly jack shit.
>>5219449
(first attempt as posting this didn't show up- sorry if it double posts)
Free services?
Explain your magic.
I'm sitting here wondering if I'll ever be able to afford the things I need because my insurance does roughly jack shit.
>>5220161
>tell doctor/therapist you have troubles
>convince doctor/therapist that plastic surgery is the only cure
>doctor/therapist gives note to plastic surgeon
>free plastic surgery
>>5220318
That works?
That's amazing.
Are you in the U.S? Dunno if that tactic works here or not.
>>5220363
Yes, I live in the US. I don't know how easy it is to convince doctors to give thousands of dollars in free service, though.
>>5220363
It works in the US but you have to be real clever about it. When I was young I had cosmetic surgery done on my deformed ear, my mom wrote up a bunch of bullshit about how it was affecting my quality of life like how I couldn't wear sunglasses properly and she managed to get insurance to cover it
