so gays, why do you not have a bf? Why so single?
>>5136691
because he died
>>5137052
I'm sorry anon :((.
Because I don't have an interesting personality or an attractive face. Also I'm not charismatic and confident enough to actively pursue either romantic or sexual relationships.
>>5137052
Aids?
>>5136691
Every time I've tried looking I just tend to give up and prefer being single. I don't really do casual sex either but I guess I'm just weird and am perfectly happy being single and just jerkin it with dildos lol
>>5137199
must admit i kekked.
now i feel bad.
>>5137199
car accident
>>5137251
fuck dude just the way you type it makes me feel so bad. some reason i feel like it's real
>>5137251
Caused by AIDS?
As per me, my bf of 4 years broke up with me 2 months ago. I'm slowly winning him back.
>>5137318
>broke up with you
>winning him back
why?
>>5137330
Because in all honesty I was the one who fucked up and other guys in my area are either "downlow" or retards.
damaged by traumatic experiences and repeated failed relationships. theres nothing interesting about me except for my sad and elaborate shortcomings and failures
Ugly and fat.
Well the fat is starting to go away, but it doesn't matter, God fucked me with ugly genetics.
>>5136691
NEET. Social anxiety.
I'm still trying to stay at least somewhat fit so if I get better I'll at least look good for my future boyfriend.
Also even if I didn't have social anxiety issues, I wouldn't be so quick to hop into a relationship.
extremely insecure about how i look, i feel embarassed when people are able to see me
no social skills or friends so i never meet anyone i could potentially like
its chronic
>>5137337
eh, hope it works out.
it was a 4y relationship so things may work out, things like that don't just vanish in a few weeks.
Kind of attractive and been going to the gym for 3 years already, but asperger and my catholic family doesn't need to know like, ever.
tbh I guess I will just let it happen one day...
>>5137052
I'm really sorry, man. I can't imagine what you're going through. I never considered losing my hubby. I think I'm gonna go tell him I love him right now.
cause I don't seek it out and it's hard to find others like me when the only thing I do outside the house is work
Gay death, wizardry, genetics, fucked up my life, debt, unlikeable and boring.
I'm dead inside and can't provide a lot of the things that people usually need in a relationship
>>5136691
I'm in the closet on a homophobic country. I can't come out.
Because I only like straight men
>>5137052
>>5137251
Damn
I'm closeted and the guy I like is taken.
Also I'm ugly and pathetic
>>5137405
Lol are you me?
>>5136691
Accidentally chose to go to school with a terrible LGBT community despite being large and (mostly) liberal
>>5136691
My ex-bf broke up with me about a little over a year ago, and I haven't been able to find someone else where it has become a meaningful relationship.
Because I feel like I need to be slutty for a while before I settle down. I really want a bf but nothing scares me more than feeling trapped and wasted as I get older. It sucks.
>>5136691
Too fat at the moment and I'm very specific about boyfriends
got really depressed after high school ended because my crush left before I could tell him, ended up gained weight
I'm working on fixing it, though, lost 10 pounds last month.
Because I wanted to do some sleeping around before i settled down. Now I'm pretty into having a relationship, just not actively searching
>>5136691
kind of good looking, hitting the gym 3 times a week but still too retarted to actually man up and search for someone. soon-to-be 24 yo virgin. Oh well.
>>5136691
I was single for two years before I met my boyfriend.
I dated a fair few guys but none of them really stuck around long, and I could only meet guys through dating apps. But I got there eventually.
have patience, keep on trying, you'll meet someone that works eventually.
>>5136691
I'm not too bad looking (at least what I've been told), but as much as I dream of falling in love and settling down, I've dated so many cheaters/abusers that I'm terrified of commitment.
>>5139473
> I've dated so many cheaters/abusers that I'm terrified of commitment.
Might be some form of confirmation bias, but I feel like a lot of gay people don't desire anything more than sex. They're perfectly willing to abandon you if a newer and nicer ass comes along.
It kind of makes me feel uncomfortable when someone finds out that I'm gay and points out "hot" guys as if I'm definitely going to be attracted to them. On the same note, though, I've known a few other gay guys who would react exactly as the people who point out hot guys would think.
All I want is a cute boyfriend who I can play video games with and is an actual human being and cares about me like I care about him. That's all I've ever wanted.
i'm a man in my 40's, and the only reason i don't have a boyfriend is that the age of consent is 18 in my country.
i'm only attracted to boys.
>>5139491
This. My friends try to set me up on dates with their friends, but it usually ends up being either with guys who are totally incompatible (no attraction physical/emotional) or we get along well enough to get into bed.
I'm with you about the cutie who's actually a human being.
>>5139386
I kind of understand. My bf is slightly younger, but has done some slitting around, of which I'm kind of jealous.
I'm more afraid of him eventually going back to his old ways than me sipping up though.
>>5139508
Slutting around. Fuck autocorrect.
I'm good looking, no social issues, I was just cursed being trapped in this fucking shit hole of a town. So it's either drive three hours away in any direction, which for my paycheck is too expensive, or hope that I happen to come across another cute guy again who doesn't drop the I love you bomb on the first date and isn't sociopathic. After my lease expires I'm debating just up and moving with what little cash I have to a city and pray for the best.
25 GWM here, been out since I was 16 but never ever dated anyone or had a boyfriend ever.
combination of too much self-esteem to settle for people in my league and not enough self-esteem to improve my own prospects/looks
>>5139506
They're the hardest to find simply because they aren't the kind of people who would go to a bar and slut it up. It means we have to find them out in the wide world. Scary prospect.
>>5139525
>I was just cursed being trapped in this fucking shit hole of a town
I live in an incredibly homophobic town in the middle of Oklahoma. I know how you're feeling, man. I'm only trapped here until I finish the next semester, though, then I'm off to a real college in someplace that's not a shithole. Good luck getting out of there.
>>5137052
Same dude, I'm fucking torn and so lost. Lost him to suicide a couple weeks ago. Don't really know what to do. Don't know where to start. Don't know where to find that entity of energy that once filled my soul with joy. I miss that feeling of bliss. Now I'll never have it in that way again. Meh.
Mine died from a hit and run. I was walking on my way to meet him, talking on the phone with him and then heard a loud noise then nothing. Found him on the side of the road. Died at the hospital.
Part of me wishes he was conscious so I could tell him something, anything. But he was so fucked up so the other part of me hopes he was just so out of it that he didn't feel anything and never knew what happened. Almost ten years together.
>>5136691
I am unlovable by design.
I was not made to be loved, simply to be a background character in the lives of people who actually matter. To watch the important people fall in love and support them. To always take one for the team and stay behind so that others could better move forward.
Someone has to do it, I'm okay if it's me.
>>5139643
1st love rejected me on facial aesthetics and I turned the 2nd one straight, no feelings left, I'm a sea of self hatred
>tldr will trade life savings for painless suicide
>>5139643
jesus.
What does unlovable by design mean?
>>5136691
Ugly, short, not well-endowed and plain.
>>5137405
lol are you not me?
wanna date?
>>5136691
Because i'm fat.
All the gay/bisexual people I know are dirty sluts who want sex and not a relationship.
>>5139933
It is just the way I am and have always been, like it's built into the foundation of my very being. I was brought into this world imperfect, unlovable, I have absolutely zero redeeming qualities as a human being.
My only remaining reason to exist anymore is for other people. I am nothing.
>>5139534
I too live in (non) bumfucksvillw Oklahoma. Nobody that isn't cringe worthy is sun wants a ftm boyfriend here.
>>5140407
Good god autocorrect
because I'm not really gay, my homosexuality is caused by years of loneliness
bad skin + a total mess in every aspect of the word. social anxiety, ocd, unemployed you name it :))
>>5136691
I live in a literal shithole of the world and I am a spineless beta who cannot find strength to move to a better place.
>fear of HIV
>disdain for "gay culture" and clubbing and all that shit
>none of the gays I've met have my fetish and I need my fetish to get off
>nearest gay possible relationship with my fetish is 3 hours away so we have an online relationship
gonna meet him on Saturday, I'm so excited
>>5141260
>>disdain for "gay culture" and clubbing and all that shit
Always makes me feel good when I see this. Good luck, anon.
Apparently lots of gay relationships start only after you've hooked up but casual sex doesn't appeal to me
>>5141260
whats ur fetish
>>5141310
furry
>>5141310
It's embarrassing... (pic related)
>>5141321
wrong
>>5141321
nigger there are so many gays into furry maybe your autistic ass just needs to get to know them
>>5139534
Agreed. There're plenty of guys at the bars, and sex for me was never really an issue. But the lesson that I won't find the love of my life at the club was a hard one.
>>5139594
I'm sorry. My first boyfriend died in a car accident. It's been eight years and I still miss him.
A serious lack of sexual confidence. I'm a 7/10 with a not too shabby body.
But I just have 0 confidence. My mother was too nice to me.
Periodically it got so worse I failed to talk whenever anyone sexually available came onto me.
I have literally had women in bed with me, nearly sitting on my dick, and I froze.
Vice versa, I've had dudes ready to mount me, just waiting for the "ok go", and I just froze up.
>>5139933
It means this nigger is lightspeed ugly, and we have all collectively decided that he will die alone some day.
Life can be cruel.
>>5136691
I'd rather dedicate my life to burn everything down than to love.
Why don't I have a boyfriend? well, look at any gay dating site or even craigs list, you know the list of things that most guys do NOT want? I fit most of them. Also I am probably way too damaged for anyone to give me a chance anyways.
>>5136691
Everyone ignores me after 2 lines online because I initially appear rather boring.
Too much social anxiety to do anything IRL.
I'm actually tall and not too ugly ;(
>>5142051
Are you a fag or a bi?
Got kiks?
>>5142091
>Got kiks?
not a normie sorry ;c
>>5136691
I'm literally autistic. No one could ever love me.
>>5137052
This reminds me of the old question, is it better to have loved, and lost, or never to have loved at all?
>>5142210
To have loved and lost.
>>5136691
I'm not really gay. I just have woman issues. Guys are just to play around with until I find the right woman not that I'm looking for either. What's the point of having no sexual taboos if you can't get into initial physical contact with another person?
>>5142149
Be a normie. Then you'll get dates
>>5136691
Mostly because I have a smaller penis and most of the guys here are Mexican size queens.
all men want is sex and to have sex with 65 different guys every week if they can get it. I just want a real relationship with "the one" and make it exclusive, just between us.
>>5142682
I won't judge you about your size babe ;)
You just have to grow your hair out into pig tails and wear a miniskirt whenever you're in my condo.
Because I am shy and don't know how to put myself out in the world as a gay man because I'm scared of leaving my comfort zone.
>>5142705
Only if I'm still the top.
>>5142724
But then I'd have to buy tweezers ;(
>>5142482
different anon
is kiks even worth it, I heard it's all just people looking for hookups, not relationships.
>>5142837
Overweight and socially awkward. Though Ive been losing weight lately so that will hopefully change.
>>5136691
I'm single because so many of the guys I meet tend to turn out to be really... damaged. It sucks. Of course I know I'm not perfect but there's a limit to how much baggage I want to deal with in a relationship.
>>5147867
what's the typical "damage" gays have usually?
>>5147968
Extreme promiscuity.
Self-destructive tendencies, like drug and alcohol addiction.
Major chips on their shoulders concerning religion, social policy, etc.
>>5141879
It fucking sucks. He didn't have a mean bone in his body. Everyone loved him, and if anything he cared too much. He always jumped at the chance to brighten someone's day or helped them out, even if it was just making a stranger smile. He went through a lot of serious shit, and he was still always smiling.
He was way too good for this world.
>>5136691
I live in a very rural area, and I don't care to date bubba down at the gas station.
>>5138389
hope you can get the fuck out of there soon and start living, best wishes.
>>5136691
Don´t have to balls to let it go when I´m with him. He shows signs, but too much homopobia at my school.
>>5136691
It all seems very risky. I haven't really come out of the closet because I don't want to deal with my old man having a fit. Or committing suicide. Or worse yet, trying to kill me and/or the BF. Hell, knowing him, he might well try his hand at all three options. Mother won't take it too well either.
I suppose I could just cut ties with them pre-emptively but that just seems
That and I'm terrified of actually finding someone only to have my heart broken by them.
>>5148390
That's the cutest creature I've ever seen.
>>5136691
I'm a 19 yo handhold-less virgin because I've never met a gay male that I was attracted to and all my crushes turn out to be straight. Some of the gay guys I've met over the 2 years I've been out have been cool people, but I would never consider dating them.
Also
>not fond of the gay "community"
>zero interest in hook ups
>half of the gay people I meet come off as very salty and exclusionary, but I could be interpreting that wrong
>don't really want try apps or online dating just yet
>short twink, but all the guys I'm attracted to seem to only like tall masculine men like themselves
>always slightly awkward around guys I don't know due to shitty sleep
>no time to date anyways because I work and go to school fulltime
>no job
>not in college
>barely get out of the house
>skeleton body
>acne
>bad teeth
>depression
>social anxiety
>don't want to use grindr or go to a gay bar, want a real relationship
>generally a boring as fuck person with nothing interesting to say, don't drink or use drugs either
I'm trying to fix most of my problems but it'll take at least a year before I'll be able to even think about dating someone. And then comes the issue of actually finding somebody that isn't slutty and fits my hypocritically harsh standards.
Because Ive been in love with the same boy since I was 13 and I cant let it go.
Ive tried going with other guys but I just cant stop thinking about him.
>tfw he makes out with a girl and you can just stand there and watch, feeling whats left of your will to live burn away
>tfw I actually started going to a shrink to get help
>tfw my dad left when I came out when I was 14
mylifebelike.mp3
19 years old, never kissed or dated anyone, shitty self esteem, have issues with my appearence, my hair, my body (even the smallest details), can't stand even looking at myself in the mirror, getting everyday more and more closed in my own reality, trying to be good in everything I do, trying to be something interesting but always realizing that it doesn't even matter because everyone is just too damn good for me.
fat
ugly
can't get over my ex
incredibly antisocial
>>5147970
I readily admit to being damaged, but have none of these issues, well maybe religion, but only in regards to straights
>>5150641
Yeah, I'm 23 and this is partly me too. Only I have tried online dating and it's certainly NOT for me for various reasons.
The truth is, there is just no environment in which I can reasonably find another gay man who has a similar or complementary mindset to mine and to whom I am at all attracted.
Do gay relationships even develop organically? I am beginning to think that's a rarity.
>>5136691
Im mentally ill and live off grid in the middle of the desert.
It would be difficult to get anyone to conr all the way out here without thinking they were gonna be murdered anyway, its so in the middle of nowhere.
>>5136691
I'm uncomfortable with my sexuality, my looks and my personality.
Because I'm uncomfortable with my sexuality, I'm in the closet. I don't want people to know that I am gay because I don't want people to treat me differently. I don't want to be defined by who I fall in love with. I care too much about what people think about me that I can't be happy for myself. I can only make other people happy at my expense.
I'm not particularly attractive. I have a below average penis and stretch marks on my back from puberty. Because of that, sex is a really uncomfortable thought for me. I don't think I'd be very good at it but I've never imagined myself as someone who's sexually attractive.
And my personality. Well, that's a tragedy. I'm all over the place. Some days are great, others I can barely stand to get out of bed. I think I'm slipping. I don't have the same motivation that I use to and days are getting grayer and grayer. I'm always drowsy.
But I've always had a strangely naive sense of hope for other people. I like to think most people are genuinely good on the inside and are so bogged down with impressing others that they repress it. I think people dislike opening up to others. And that's disheartening to me. I just wish the people in my life were as interesting and genuinely good as I seriously hope they are.
>>5136691
Fuck you I hate your post and this thread.
I didn't choose the single life. It's the only thing to ever want me.
I have a small dick so even if I had a 10/10 over compensating body no one would date me.
At least I'm over 6 feet...
>>5136691
Still going through the post-breakup/rebound sex phase. My bf and I broke up about five weeks ago. I've hooked up with a couple of guys since then. I get really excited before and during sex, but I feel so empty when we finish. Makes things feel worse, desu.
I'm pre transition :^)
>>5152327
It's like I'm looking at my reflection in a mirror, anon. I know what it feels like. Honestly, I've already come at peace with the idea of dying alone.
>>5154785
Adding to this, I live in a conservative country where gay = "third sex" and it means you want to be a hairdressing lisping lady boy.
I'm not into clubs so that scene is dead for me. There's several reasons why I'm still a kissless virgin at 27.
>>5154868
What country?
>>5154880
Panama
Intoverted and unwilling to have sexdates.
>>5136691
but i do
>>5152301
>Only I have tried online dating and it's certainly NOT for me for various reasons.
Just curious, what makes internet dating not that great for you?
>Do gay relationships even develop organically?
It happens all the time but it's pure luck. Most of the time it's friends that know other gay guys and suggest you to them. I am THE gay friend so I don't have that luxury sadly
>>5150450
^^, that´s right. And he´s my age :).
Do youguys see a proble as well: the mainstream-fashion is geting more stereotyp-gayish. This makes it hard to figure out someone´s preferences.
>>5150912
Noone will be left behind, noone,
Several reasons. I'm overweight (40 pounds overweight. Used to be 120 pounds), bad skin, lazy, I live in butt fuck nowhere, and only gay guy at school (plenty of lesbians though). Also the more fat you lose the bigger your dick gets so I got that going for me (went from morbidly obese 4.5 incher to an overweight 5.8in)
fat
ugly
introverted
closeted
I don't even know who the fuck is gay and who isn't without asking. There's no fucking way I'm gonna go up to someone and ask them if they're gay.
i guess deep down im frustrated by a lot of things but at the same time i dont really care
i pretend that i know myself but that's not something i feel comfortable sharing with guys
guys get curious and i push them away cause they make me sick even though im gay?
>>5136691
because I'm not really gay. I'm pretty much straight for all intents and purposes.
I live in a isolated area. Everyone is in the closet and the only opened gay are not my type.
>Receiving everyday messages from handsome guys on Growlr who live on another continent.
Bestially seems my only option.
>not a whore
>emotionally vulnerable
>anxiety
the usual stuff
>>5152327
>I don't want people to treat me differently. I don't want to be defined by who I fall in love with. I care too much about what people think about me that I can't be happy for myself. I can only make other people happy at my expense.
this
I'm not masculine and I'm not feminine.
>>5137052
Sorry m8
>>5159514
Ayy Lmaos pls go
>>5154785
Small dick really doesnt matter that much anon.. Try not to obsess over imperfections, it will make you unhappy. I think many guys find size difference pretty kinky actually, if that helps.
>>5136691
because all the guys in my dating pool are degenerates.
>>5141917
Oh my god. You.
I get you completely, thank you for being the other person on this board who also suffers from this.
A mix of things
>closeted until 21, very little I'm common with most out gay guys
>can't into hookups, which is how most people get bfs (nothing wrong with it, it just doesn't work for me)
>not outwardly gay, so blends in
>lack of experience, kind of offputting
>slow to warm up/picky about personality, don't just go for someone because they're 'hot', and get interested too slowly for most guys.
Also, I've noticed a lot of people either want extrovert-extrovert, introvert-introvert, or even worse: extrovert-introvert pairing, where the extrovert provides all the initiative. I prefer to trade off or just both be ambivert.
None of these are deal breakers, but it makes shit kinda sparse.
>>5136691
Combination of a few things, II always aim above my level and doesn't usually work out.
The one time I settled for someone lower, we went out once and then he cut me off straight away.
Bar scene is hard to do by yourself. And online gay dating is the worst thing ever, looking at it is depressing and I usually uninstall it after I masturbate and my libido hits the floor.
>>5165690
Oh and a lot of gay guys my age seem to really dislike me
but usually it's guys I've no interest in anyhow/
We kissed at a party and he texted first.
I replied and he hasn't responded yet over a day later :(
>>5136691
No large group of gay people near me. Most of the gay people are nasty trucker types and disgusting.
Also I am a shut in after I get off work and make no effort to meet people.
So I'll just skate and shoot guns until I find a good QT BF to do those things with me.
>>5136691
Because, I'm in closet, ugly fat and I don't feel enough to be with someone.
Because I think I might be trans but I have no fucking clue and guys don't like that
>>5136691
If I say so on this board, I get crap.
I have a point of view that runs counter to more popular ideas of what two males are capable of over time.
I guess I also have minority views on what constitutes the ideal role of a habitual homosexual and how we are best suited in society, which then informs my views on male-male relationships.
What seems peculiar to me is that these things seem greatly prized among both heterosexual and homosexual males in their pursuits, and yet homosexuals seem to deny it at every level consciously, while being driven by it emotionally.
Which is a puzzle I have never quite resolved. I assume it has something to do with modern social views.
As a result, I am not especially liked by most gays, and yet most straights treat me better than they do other gays.
It's almost lonely, and yet not quite.
33 and laid off at the beginning of October. Broke up with bf in May and still haven't found a new one. I do get messages from other guys online but im socially awkward and elitist and dont have a great body. I keep holding out.
I keep thinking that I should call back my Filipino ladyboy ex, settle down with him.
Because a relationship is one of those things where the idea of having one is much better than actually having one. Much easier to be single.
>>5166568
>I have a point of view that runs counter to more popular ideas of what two males are capable of over time.
which is?
>>5167106
I dont think I should elaborate. While I take some happiness in accepting things about human nature and not being upset by it, considering it just natural human mechanics and behavior, to more idealist types, it tends to seem depressing.
Much more, I dont want to get into arguments and have people raging at me this evening.
I dont think its bad, it just challenges other peoples fundamental assumptions. Besides, we teach such things for a reason. People need to feel good about their options, and more power to the ones that get even a days happiness from them.
It doesnt matter much if I am right. All we have are moments, and people should be allowed to enjoy them. Its not my job to proselytize world views just to prove something. People have to learn from experience and make their own conclusions anyways.
Besides, it would be nice to be wrong about things sometimes. In fact, I think thats the entire basis of faith, and people need that too. Not just benefit from it, but actually need it.
And I'm old enough to know that there is no joy nor reward for trying to challenge it.
Without saying it, I think I've said it. And I want everyone to find happiness however they can. Because they can. What the race is capable of is different than what is possible for two people.
And that makes both pretty darn special.
>>5167145
I know this will sound strange and maybe off-putting, but I have been waiting for you. I think we have much to talk about and I tried getting some contact info from you in another thread.
>>5167155
I'm sorry. I think you may be mistaking me for someone else. Or maybe I am not seeing the thread you mention.
Im just making conversation and idling time after a long day. Sorry if I am being too serious. Again, these pills are a little stronger than I expected
:P
But I am happy to discuss, but warn that I tend to ramble at length the later it gets. But it seems likely you've mistaken me for someone else, I think.
As for contact, Im afraid I dont really have much available time for correspondence, but do appreciate the thought.
>>5167192
Oh, I see it now, the gay general thread.
I can chat here or there, but Im not really available for contact regularly, unless you dont mind long waits between emails. I dont do live communication much, and besides, would probably be dull, disappointing conversation most of the time.
>>5167201
I was actually hoping for a long wait between mails, as I think mail writing is a lost art.
>>5167223
Well, I do tend to write long emails. But I have a lot of distractions, and dont communicate as much as I used to, which is why I think I end up here sometimes, just digitally mumbling to the wind, as it were.
I think it may be useful to address what is on your mind here first, to see if perhaps your interests can be elucidated here before beginning any off site correspondence. Im just not as responsible of a correspondent as I once was. I dont dismiss the option, though.
>>5167201
Different anon here. I'd really like to pick your brain too, though I understand if you prefer not to. It's kind of rare to see someone who doesn't want to impose their POV as if it's objectively true for everyone. I also relate to some of what you described about the barrier to communication you face with some other gay dudes, but I guess not to your main assertion about relationships.
In any regard, I'd just like to get your perspective more in depth and bounce a few ideas off you. Most friends don't really relate on this issue so it's difficult to explore it.
But like I said, no hard feelings either way.
>>5167272
Im happy to discuss whatever; Im just idling time. My concern is being called away mid-discussion.
Its also possible that I am being misinterpreted. I was deliberately vague out of consideration (as much as avoiding getting flamed).
So I may disappoint (or anger) anyone who interpreted something from what I said. I have been roaming threads and honestly am not even sure what I said that drew any interest.
I think it started with mentioning that I had different views about the sustainability of male-male relationships in the context of what is considered the heteronormative analog of lasting relationships.
And I admit feeling some pressure, knowing that if I was misunderstood, any more blunt elaboration may simply perturb people kindly showing interest in the topic as they interpreted it.
>>5167304
Yeah I mean there's always the risk of miscommunication or blowback, but I'm not really the type to have a narrow limited range of what I'm looking for and unreasonable emotional outbursts if it's different from what I thought initially. I'd still be curious either way.
I think at this point it's more about your delivery than anything, and maybe a few things you mentioned in that linked post.
I'm also cool with long periods between emails, like the other dude. So no pressure either way.
>>5167324
Well, I think its a bit premature to begin emails without knowing what the topic is. I mentioned here boards.4chan.org/lgbt/thread/5165789/gay-general-pushin-the-gay-agenda-edition#p5167352 that I am unclear on what the topic is or the elevated need for discretion is.
We've been chatting for a bit and I still dont quite know what it is that was found at all interesting.
Clues please?
>>5167247
I understand, it was a hunch of mine that made me feel like I had to attempt this, as I normally never do.
Lately a few occurrences have unfolded that have made me look more into my intuition, having for years dismissed the very concept and just recently I have started to refocus on it.
My coming out was also influenced by this, and in hindsight I feel like I picked the wrong route. In your words >>5166480 has been my experience too, in terms of sexual identity. To the extent that I have buried my sexuality away from everyone else but myself.
Even though there have been occasions where I'm certain that I have pierced through some veil, I have ignored it - and that is why what you said here >>5166964 intrigues me. It's a way of seeing things that I have not often encountered outside of certain straight males, except their focus lies on pleasing women.
The last couple of years seduction has been a growing interest to me, or rather I have become seduced by seduction and this line
>So as much of a slut as it makes me sound like, I am married to the idea of pleasing men, not any one in particular.
is such a seductive line to me that I can't even describe it. It's a vitality that I have been searching for.
>>5167364
Mostly the barrier to communication issue, why you feel the way you do about dating, and I guess wherever that takes the convo. It just seems like I could ask you a few things that friends I try to discuss it with don't really understand because they don't experience.
I do think differently than you do about straight guys and relationships, but I'd be curious to learn more. Seeing things differently or having like views where we may not agree doesn't really phase me, so it wouldn't be something I'd react poorly too.
Basically I just saw how you described it and it made me want to discuss what you brought up in more depth. I only have a few vague areas off the top of my head that I specifically want to ask about, the rest I was going to find out during the convo.
>>5167368
Oh, I see. So I infer there is some buyers remorse in coming out, as they call it.
Yes?
As for seduction, I am inferring that you find some distance between the emotional drives propelling homosexual interest and the larger social context of what is promulgated by 'the homosexual lifestyle' and feeling unable (and perhaps unwilling) to resolve this in a socially "gaystreamed" acceptable way.
In short, feeling eternally homosexual without feeling like a modern homosexual, so to speak.
Am I at least near the crux of your focus, or off base?
>>5167386
Oh. I dont recall broaching dating, at least in those terms.
What is it about dating that suggested I had some relevant perspective?
Or was it rather a personal episode/dynamic you wished to unpack?
>>5167412
Your linked post seemed to broach it.
I probably would share my own experience eventually, but I guess I got an overall impression that made me curious. I'm probably being a bit vague here, heh.
>>5167441
Linked post, mine or yours? My time is waning and I still am not clear on what you wish to discuss. Or even how many people I am exchanging with itt.
I could engage and elaborate if I knew what subject or issue you'd like to discuss.
>>5167393
The first question that I got when I came out, and I suspect most people get, was how long have you known and I really didn't have an answer for that so I just said always, even though that was far from the truth.
In reality what was going down, the way I see it, was a seduction process. I was living with two other people, a couple, we were all close friends. They had their problems and I sensed in large degrees that the problems they had I could easily resolve.
Without thinking too much of about how I ended up putting my foot in my mouth and once the words were out there they could not be taken back.
A while later in a conversation with the woman (who turned out to be a lesbian some years later) she too had felt that my resolve would have saved some things.
So yes, in a sense it has to do with modern homosexuality. I was left in a situation with a group of people I felt little connect towards.
This is almost six years ago, but the aftermath of the evens are still playing out today. I am however at a stage in my life where I need tremendous change and I want to better recognize the instances where it is right to strike or not, if that makes sense.
>>5167460
the post of yours from gaygen that was dug up. The two main topics (which I said initially) were the issues of communication with other gay dudes, as in not relating, and in general your idea about men in relationships.
I feel a little like I'm repeating myself here so I'd rather not impose on your time if you don't have much to spare. Just felt curious to ask you more questions and get your thoughts more in depth in a way where you weren't worried about the blowback from kneejerk reactions by anons, that's all. No problem either way if you're not up for it.
Some of those two things I'm curious about I feel would help clear up shit I'm trying to figure out in regards to dating, but more than that I just found the way you portrayed yourself as hinting at maybe having a different worldview that I'd like to get an idea of.
I've never been the type to like cling to one ideology and feel hostile to viewpoints that oppose it, I usually keep an open mind and just aggregate perspectives.
>>5167461
I see.
So you are saying that you felt you 'came out' prematurely, or hastily, shouldnt have at all, or were in fact in error completely by aligning publicly with a homosexual identity.
Bear in mind, I am only assuming you are a male with some measure of homosexual interest, which doesn't (to me) necessarily neatly compose what is thought of as a 'gay' person, as the current term is commonly understood.
How was it that you thought you could 'resolve' a problem with the couple.
If this is to continue, remember that this is an anonymous forum; there is little use in being vague and only consumes time in trying to riddle what you are saying.
Do you have some wish to begin or resume a heterosexual lifestyle? Im struggling to intuit the direction of your thinking, sorry.
>>5167484
its possible that I missed some of your posts somewhere. Hopefully the dialog is consolidating here.
I can ignore trolls, if thats your concern. We keep introducing that there are questions without seeming to get to any questions.
My world views, if we are calling them that, are frankly somewhat notable only for being rather primitive in current context. Most gays find them offensive because of modern cultural themes, whereas I celebrate their historically validated foundations.
Perhaps you could focus us with a question or statement about your interest presently. I can borrow time if we can expedite the progression somewhat.
>>5167524
I guess I wasn't prepared to actually begin it here, but I can do that. I'd need to some time to compose questions I'd have. I'm usually also a little gunshy about asking publicly, but if that's what you prefer I'm cool with that.
>>5167531
Well, its a slow moving board. So take your time; if I miss it today I can revisit tomorrow, likely.
Perhaps you can begin by deciding if you actually have questions or have to establish a frame of reference first.
Thus, you could begin with a question, or simply jot down the context first and expound from there.
I dont think great modesty is required, since, again, its anonymous.
>>5167493
Today I would not have come out at all, as I see it as limiting yourself in the eyes of others. I think labels are largely used for other peoples measure so they know where they have you and how to relate to that.
I never felt like a gay man, even though I came out as one. Pussy never scared me, I never considered it a turn-off.
I'm vague because I know one of the people are using 4chan.
Early on, I felt a strong incentive from the girl that she thought her partners higher sex drive could somehow be resolved through me, she later confirmed this, I don't think he knows. She was very mentally sick at the time, so her sex drive was low, at the time, ideally this was the sort of partnership I had envisioned for myself.
Today I guess I would be described as an asexual by the few close friends I have left, I have nothing to do with the LGBT movement. As far as anyone is aware I have a heterosexual lifestyle. As mentioned earlier my main interest these days lies in seduction which I think is "blind". I'm not interested in finding partners any more because having seen so many relationships I also tire of them, I am also after that ephemeral moment, that moment of passion you explained. My struggle now is uniting where I stand now to a position where I can see myself being able to pull that off.
>>5167553
It's not, but I've always had a somewhat irrational aversion to really opening up publicly like this. Can get all kinds of crazy reactions.
I don't like to leave my room except to go for mindless walks, the only things I really do are play video games, make tons of songs I'm not going to record, and post online, and I'm only attracted to guys with a certain personality type anyways
>>5167560
> I think labels are largely used for other peoples measure
Well, thats exactly true, so there's common understanding there.
>I'm vague because
I see. Well, we'll try to work around it. I dont know if they use this board.
>could somehow be resolved through me
I venture that I am maybe getting the picture.
So am I to understand that you were (a male) providing, or intended to provide some relief from her (male) mate?
It seems you have a heterosexual (default) lifestyle, or you maintain homosexual interest more often but dont act on it?
Forget sexuality for a moment, because whatever you desire, if you focus on it too much as the basis for a future rather than something incorporated to a deeper vision, homo or heterosexual, you're more likely to commit self defeating behavior.
People often do this out of prioritizing intimacy to assuage emotional incompletion (which is typical and natural for an age) and identify more with resolving that need, and end up basing long lasting decisions on immediately gratifying the desire for a present day image of what they want right now.
This is especially true of young males and females alike who feel homosexual interest and then are coached to make a public announcement without even having time to experience other options as to what they want, like or how it plays into the rest of their life.
>>5167623
I'll take the liberty of elaborating on the context that I am not fully certain I am accurately interpreting while waiting.
1. Do you maintain a homosexual interest?
2. If so, is the interest purely physical rather than social identity, and you sense some pressure to resolve this socially in the 'gaystream' vs mainstream context?
3. Or alternatively, do you feel no pressure, but then therefore isolated within your own frame of reference for identity
4. Or, do you feel like a heterosexual with some homosexual past that simply needs some closure in clarity
5. Or, do you feel like you prefer homosexual interests while having no interest in any social intersection in your public life
Im grasping, trying to unearth whence your angst emanates
And these are just some aspects. Here we see the issues attached to labels
>>5167623
I am male, yes, and I slowly became a part of their relationship. At one point, when they were out I was cleaning the apartment and taking out the trash. On the top of the trash pile there was a note she had written a note saying how tired she was and the best thing would be if we (me and him) were together. I'm very astute to other peoples intentions for many months after I was still not able to assess if this was how I truly felt or if I was coaxed into someone else's affirmation.
I am still however a virgin, so yes I usually don't act on any impulses any more.
>Forget sexuality for a moment, because whatever you desire, if you focus on it too much as the basis for a future rather than something incorporated to a deeper vision, homo or heterosexual, you're more likely to commit self defeating behavior.
People often do this out of prioritizing intimacy to assuage emotional incompletion (which is typical and natural for an age) and identify more with resolving that need, and end up basing long lasting decisions on immediately gratifying the desire for a present day image of what they want right now.
This is especially true of young males and females alike who feel homosexual interest and then are coached to make a public announcement without even having time to experience other options as to what they want, like or how it plays into the rest of their life.
This is why I know I am correct and you need to let me be your protégée, I have to sleep now because I have a session in a few hours, but I will contemplate this.
>>5166008
You by any chance play cs go?
>>5167680
I dont feel I am qualified to be any mentor, but appreciate the vote of confidence.
I will check back tomorrow and probably later in a bit.
Sleep well and have a restful evening.
>>5139426
Are you ugly or something?
>>5137052
>>5139541
>>5137251
>>5139594
>>5141879
>>5147978
Fucks the feels
Sorry anons
>>5138154
>Gay death
What? newfag here
>>5138362
Then just give the little you have
>>5138389
Where?
>>5138401
Then just be with straight acting gays
>>5139392
> I'm very specific about boyfriends
Stop watching porn then
>>5139491
>All I want is a cute boyfriend who I can play video games with and is an actual human being and cares about me like I care about him
Thats the dream anon
>>5139643
I used to think like this. Picturing myself as the secundary character of my own movie. I felt pathetic the moment the thought got out.
>Someone has to do it, I'm okay if it's me
No one HAS to. But if you want a life of self-pity and sadness its your call.
>>5140382
> I was brought into this world imperfect, unlovable, I have absolutely zero redeeming qualities as a human being.
Just like everyone else...
>My only remaining reason to exist anymore is for other people. I am nothing.
Everyone is nothing. Dont believe yourself so special, fag
>>5166046
Godd, are you me?
>>5136691
See:
>>5138658
>>5157161
>>5166046
Uncomfortable about/not particularly interested in sex - that rules out bars and grindr. I have a hard time letting people in at first, and I don't come off as obviously gay either. I don't know many other gay people, and I can't seem to meet any outside LGBT themed events.
I'm not into 'the scene' or the idea of hookups. I just want to be myself, and have a companion/boyfriend (or some facsimile thereof.) I want, more than anything, to have someone to show love and affection for. I don't even have unreastically high standards - I just want some cute nerdy type, preferably a bit shy and not morbidly obese.
I don't know why I'm forever alone... but it sure fucking sucks :D
