Dump him or not?

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Anonymous
Dump him or not? 2016-02-11 16:48:36 Post No. 5708444
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Dump him or not? Anonymous 2016-02-11 16:48:36 Post No. 5708444 [Report]

So I'm in a situation right now, where I'm quite possibly the most problematic element.

I'm a 23 year old gay guy who hates gay people and the gay scene. I'm not straight acting, and I don't deny who I am, I just mind my own fucking bussiness. I've been single for 6 years, and only had the occasional one-night stand. Mainly oral. I was raped once by an older guy, whom I blackmailed into getting tested for HIV afterwards. Ever since then my sex drive was on the low, and I didn't really try to get to know guys much.

Trying to make this short:
- I lost my brother a couple of months ago. He was very young (younger than 30).
- His death made me realize that I have to get out and live life, and experience the things that interest me.
- I want to have a healthy life, and that includes a healthy sexual and emotional life too, so I decided to up my game and get to know people.
- Met up this guy. He is 34, very nice body, kind, delightfully aggressive and initiates stuff without any problems. We didn't specify our intentions for each other, we just met up a couple of times, had sex, watched movies, talked, went on trips, We had a good time, and that was okay with me.
- He cheated on his previous BF, because their sex life was on the decline. He confessed the cheating, and declined to repair the relationship when his ex offered a second chance.
- The guy he cheated with is one of his good friends andthey meets up from time to time. When I expressed concern, he told me to not worry at all, because they won't have sex again.
- We scheduled a date for friday and saturday (as we always do), but when I offer to see him for a couple of minutes or to go with him to the bus station (I live near his workplace) he always rejects me, saying that we should stick to the schedule.

I am concerned. I admit that the problem is me. I am insecure and I have a hard time trusting this. It doesn't feel okay, somehow I have a bad feeling about this whole thing.

Ask claraifications if needed.

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Anonymous 2016-02-11 17:21:33 Post No.5708546
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Anonymous 2016-02-11 17:21:33 Post No.5708546 [Report]

>>5708444
Bump goddamnit.

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Anonymous 2016-02-11 17:24:22 Post No.5708552
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Anonymous 2016-02-11 17:24:22 Post No.5708552 [Report]

>>5708444

- The majority of people on this planet, straight or gay, are or were at one some point cheaters.
- It is not true that someone who cheated once will cheat again, nor does it mean that they are more likely to cheat.
- Very few relationships last forever. Most relationships don't even last more than a few months. It is highly unlikely that you will find a lasting relationship immediately out of the dating gate.
- Communication and honesty are essential to any healthy relationship.

Basically: you should express your worries to him and discuss what you could each do to build trust and help you feel more secure in the relationship. If you feel like you are still too emotionally fragile to handle the possibility of infidelity or anything else breakup-worthy, you shouldn't be dating in the first place. If dating is doing you more emotional harm than it is emotional good, you need to take a step back and reevaluate.

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Anonymous 2016-02-11 18:01:58 Post No.5708637
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Anonymous 2016-02-11 18:01:58 Post No.5708637 [Report]

>>5708552
We are meeting tomorrow, and wanted to make things clear. I don't want to attack him though, but I suspct that this will end in a break up. It saddens me.

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Anonymous 2016-02-11 18:58:54 Post No.5708870
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Anonymous 2016-02-11 18:58:54 Post No.5708870 [Report]

Damn, dude, you aren't here to get married.
Just enjoy it for what it is and have fun.
You anxiety will just ruin you. Believe me, I know.

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Anonymous 2016-02-11 19:43:18 Post No.5709114
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Anonymous 2016-02-11 19:43:18 Post No.5709114 [Report]

>>5708870
THat is what I did and it worked well until recently. I developed a sort of attachment, and I actually miss him. I am afraid that he doesnt feel the same way.