I had my first gay experience at 17 with an older guy and I regret it

it felt good and I enjoyed it at the time but I still regret it. if you've already stuck it in a pussy I guess its not really a huge deal.

>>5505088
Well I lost my virginity to a 50 year old woman that said she was 30's at a bar when I was piss drunk, fucked her that not couldn't get hard, so I went down on that disgusting vagina. Later that week she called me and said she wanted to fuck, I said yes, she said she was older than 42, I said ok, she came to my house, I got in a bit of shook because she didn't look as good as I remembered, I fucked her just the same(for like 50 minutes) I couldn't cum, she tapped out and made a comment about why I was so sweaty(maybe because I had been humping on her for about 30-40 minutes), when she left she said she was actually 52 and made a joke that she was probably older than me mother, I told her that when I met her I was on all kinds of drugs(just to scare her away, and not have her call me again).

Fucking a woman is suppose to be uplifting to once's manhood(according to society, and how I view male female relationship), fucking a dude on the other hand is considered disgusting and degrading to once's self according to society(and from me for a very long time).

For me doing something with another man is on a whole another level, I find it to be shameful. Also there's no reverse from doing something with a man, meaning I'm officially done something homosexual, something other people would find repulsive and would think of me in a different manner if they ever knew I did something with that guy.

Anon what did you do with the older man, did you enjoy it in the moment?

Also, sometimes I feel like I'm not gay, sometimes I feel like I've tricked myself into thinking that I'm gay, sure I jerk off to gay porn. But what if that's just a fetish of a straight man who's watched too much porn?

please respond

OP here: Is there any way for me not to make a big deal out of this in my head if thinks don't go as planned and I don't enjoy it? I don't want go into emotional termiol and become hysterical.

OP here: Now I've also been offered to stay the night with a middle aged rich guy... I've also got an offer from this cute twink latino guy(boyfriend material) and I maybe agreed to meeting up with another guy my age.

I'm so new to this grindr thing, I don't want to become a slut? Is it normal for a gay guy to be a total slut?

>>5505063
The guy will likely be a married overweight out of shape guy who wants to bone you in the ass.

Or he might be the weirder type who wants you to bone him in the ass.

Either way, not asking for a pic means he's desperate and just wants someone young.